When I buy toys for Annabel, I find myself drawn to the girl toys – the pinks and purples, the baby dolls, the teddy bears. She responds positively to them, so I’d never doubted they were good choices.
This last weekend, she had 24-hour access to boy toys – trucks, balls, and action figures. She was all about them – pushing the cars carefully around the room, rolling and bouncing the balls, and dancing action figures across the couch cushions. She’d occasionally pick up a stray baby doll or magic fairy wand, but for the majority of the weekend, a race car was always lodged in her (carefully monitored to prevent choking hazards) hand.
I’ve chalked the whole thing up to two possible reasons. One: these were someone else’s toys and therefore vastly superior to the piles of toys back home; or two: I’ve been doing her a disservice by only buying her toys geared toward her gender.
Obviously, the “someone else’s toys” thing is always going to be a part of it. I know we’ve all wasted money on toys our kids LOVED at their friends’ houses but ignore at home. I do worry about number two, though. I’m not really worried about gender roles or anything like that. I want to make sure I’m exposing her to all sorts of things, and I’ve realized that I’ve really only been exposing her to GIRL things.
But then I think, “do parents of boys worry about this sort of thing?” None of my friends have bought baby dolls or kitchen sets for their sons. So maybe I am being overly sensitive. Or maybe not.
What do the rest of you in this situation do? Have you brought boy toys into your all-girl household, or vice-versa?
Mike would love to run out and buy some cars. For Annie, of course.
Clare says:
I have only boys, and they both enjoyed playing with toy kitchen equipment, especially tea sets. One even asked Santa for a vaccuum cleaner when he was 2. I did buy them a doll, but they weren’t really interested except for a few weeks when my second was born, and the elder boy used the doll as ‘his baby’ and would feed her, change her nappy etc. But he was soon bored with that game!
Buy Annabel a few cars and see how it goes…
Audra says:
In an effort to expose my girls to toys of both genders we tried to introduce some typically boy toys ( a truck, a plane, a school bus, etc…). But we ended up giving them away because the girls really weren’t interested in them. We have a couple of gender-neutral toys that the girls love (Mega Blocks and the Fisher Price doctor’s kit I had when I was four) but other than that they strongly prefer dolls and stuffed animals. I don’t feel guilty about the kinds of toys that my girls play with. I take my cues from them and try to foster their interests.
Heather says:
Well of course, once they are old enough to have preferences you have nothing to feel guilty about. I just want to male sure I am giving her the options.
Adrianne says:
“Male sure”, huh? Maybe your subconscious already knows the answer! Go buy that girl some cars!
I don’t have kids yet (baking my first right now!), but ideally I’d like to expose them to both “sides”. My best friend actually does have a boy who she has bought kitchen sets and fake food for because he LOVES it! Then again, he also love garbage trucks and dinosaurs:) I say go with your gut: give her the options and then let her decide.
Kirsty says:
I have 2 daughters, one who turned 9 at Christmas and one who will be 7 in April. They both mainly received “girl” toys or neutral toys (shape sorters, that sort of thing) when they were smaller but we did have some cars and trains and stuff and they were always popular.
My younger daughter in particular is a big fan of “boy” toys – she’s a Lego freak and here in France (I don’t know about elsewhere) Lego is very much boy-oriented, as you can tell by the themes they choose (vehicles, space stuff, ninjas…); she was also the first (and for a long time only) girl at school to be swept up in the Beyblade spinning top frenzy. Yet she also loves Barbies and Pet Shops and all the girly stuff.
On the opposite side, our neighbours have a little boy who’s 2 and a half and his parents recently bought him a dining set type thing because it’s what he always plays with here at our house…
I think most kids like most toys, especially when they’re small. If Annie really is drawn to “boy” stuff, you’ll find out soon enough (when she hits school or pre-school or whatever). Until then, I’d let Mike buy “her” a few cars and things – she’ll love them at her age even if she only likes girly stuff later on.
“Boy” toys can be really good fun for girls – you can incorporate them into pretend play stories with Barbies! You can make houses for dolls from Lego! It’s all good!
Oh – just to clarify – my younger daughter, Lydie, also firmly believes she’s Zorro and was the only girl in her kindergarten last year to not be dressed as a princess/fairy or animal; yup, she went as Zorro! Not the Banderas version though, her heart belongs to Guy Williams and the 1960s TV series… She’s a tomboy at heart (but also loves Tinkerbell; go figure)!
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
Here in the US, Legos are mostly geared towards boys too. I have some nieces that LOVE Legos, and would probably really love some more-girly versions, though they enjoy the Star Wars and City sets.
As far as Miss Annabel goes – my girls have always played here and there with some trucks and things, especially the Handle Haulers from Little Tikes. Super cute, and they satisfy that need to carry something around that girls seem to have, yet they are trucks. My kids have almost all of them, an ice cream truck (which is in girl colors!), a zoo truck, and ambulance, and tons more. They are super cute and indestructable!
Laura says:
I have two daughters as well – 5 and almost 3, and my older daughter (sweet, caring, patient) has always been into boy-oriented things. Her first pair of underwear she picked out were Thomas the Tank Engine (yes, boy) followed by Spiderman. She was Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween when she was 3, Snow White when she was 4 (some balance there) and following her current obsession with The Clone Wars was Ahsoka Tano this year. She loves playing Mario, Indiana Jones, Star Wars (etc) video games with my husband that he buys “her” along with other varied paraphernalia. My younger daughter (the bruiser) is into Princesses, dress-up, her kitchen set, etc – so it’s really just what the kid is interested in vs. what you buy them. I personally love that my older daughter is into such varied things – it gives her a lot of character and humors my husband and me to no end. Tell Mike to go by “Annie” whatever trains, trucks, cars, or superhero stuff “she” wants!
ps When I was 7, all I wanted for Christmas was a race car track – you know, the kind with the wired controllers that make the cars go over loops and all sorts of crazed stuff. My parents refused to buy this for me and told me that only little boys play with such a toy. So, I did what any good 7 year old girl would do – I played with my neighbor’s track. Don’t be my parents Heather!
Debbie S. says:
“Her first pair of underwear she picked out were Thomas the Tank Engine (yes, boy) followed by Spiderman.”
My almost 4 y.o. girly grand-daughter cried when her Mommy wouldn’t buy her Diego underwear!! I wanted to buy them but my daughter wouldn’t have it!
I say at that age, it’s no big deal!
Becky hlavachek says:
We have two boys and when our oldest was three we bought one of those all in one kitchen sets (stove,fridge,microwave). He played with it some, but his younger brother really got the most use out of it. Now that they are both older, my youngest still enjoys helping in the kitchen. We also bought an easy bake oven for our younger son, who was irritated with the fact that they only came in purple and proceeded to not use it often for that fact.
Elle says:
I like to give my daughter a mix of both. She has toy cars, a basketball hoop, and blue sippy cups but she also has things like a cabbage patch doll and a tea set. She’s not really girly right now and doesn’t have any interest in Barbie dolls, etc.
When I got her a leapfrog computer a few months ago, there was a choice between green and white or violet and I went with the first one.
I wouldn’t say my husband and I are gender neutral, we just like her to have variety. We do avoid the princess type toys but if/when the time comes that she wants something like that, we’ll be fine with it.
Kate says:
I’m the oldest of three, the youngest of whom is the only boy, which meant that my brother was born into a world of girl things. I’m a baby of the 80s, back in those glory (ha!) days where toy stores were carefully set up depending on what was pink and what was blue, and we’d never had “boy toys” in the house when it was just my sister and I. Kitchen sets, dolls, Carebears, everything pink, but the closest thing we had to “boy toys” were our Duplos and legos, and even those are pretty gender-neutral.
Having a brother was amazing because he got cars and trucks, action figures, you name it. And by the time I was about 8 or 9, I started asking for boy toys, too. I had all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Every single flippin’ one. On the reverse side, my brother loved playing with Barbies. Loved them. Used to spirit them away into his bed and sleep with them. Even amongst his cars and his Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, he loved my Malibu Barbie.
Because of the time in which I grew up (where there was still a lot of gender role stuff built into toys; I had friends who were not allowed to play with their brothers’ stuff, even in the late 80s/early 90s!), I don’t think I would’ve ever had access to “boy toys” were it not for having a brother. I know my mother wouldn’t’ve bought me Matchbox cars of her own volition, but because I had a brother, it was okay that I wanted them.
I think that giving her a chance to explore whether she likes “boy toys” at home is a good thing. Worst case scenario, she gets bored with them and goes back to playing with the same things she always had. But I think because of how we still structure society, if you stick to pink and purple and “girly” toys, she’ll miss out on a lot that she might enjoy by virtue of the fact that we don’t make a lot of airplanes and dumptrucks in pastel colors. And frankly, growing up, I found that I had an easier time making guy friends once I was into boy toys, just because I had a frame of reference. Boys don’t want to hang out with the girl who won’t play anything but dolls and dress up (at least, not when you’re in grade school!) and frankly? Guys are such better friends than girls!
(Though I am also not much of a girly-girl, myself!)
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
Boys DO make better friends, esp. in high school, don’t they?!
Caitlin says:
My little boy is almost 2 and one of his first ‘lovies’ was a pink bunny. He now has a lilac colored bear he carries everywhere. I’m not saying he doesn’t have his fair share of balls, cars, trucks and other ‘boy toys’, but he also has his fair share of ‘girl toys’. His kitchen set is one of his favorites as is his purse but he also loves a humongous red ball like there’s no tomorrow. I think kids just see toys as toys, it’s adults that assign them gender.
Bumbling says:
I really wanted to *not* push Moo to gender specific toys.
We avoided pink. She had cars, trains, balls, soft toys, a baby doll.
She’s now 2. And it’s all about the dolls.
She’s never without a doll. She looks after them, puts them to bed, feeds them, strokes their backs.
I think you have to give them choice. Then let them have that choice.
I do think there’s not so much pressure for parents of boys to be gender neutral in the same way. But in a way I wish there were…
Tracey says:
Balls are great for all children because they help with hand-eye coordination so I wouldn’t classify them as “boy toys.” Cars and trucks are probably more “boy toys” but don’t we all drive cars? I would get her a few match box cars and see what she does with them. She is too young to distinguish boy vs. girl toys anyway. In any event, your sweet little Annie doesn’t appear to be lacking love or toys at all.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
I’ve often wondered about this, too. My girls loved to play with their boy friends’ trains, and I even bought a train for our house…it never was used. I think that for us, the allure was playing with something new at a friend’s house.
Karen says:
Just a quick reply to this ‘phenomenon’ rather than this particular post, (no picking on anyone), I do think that sometimes what is lacking in the home environment is not the desire to play with those kind of toys but the role model to teach them HOW to play with them. When they’re at other peoples’ houses, they are introduced to the toys by the kids who are already well-experienced in knowing how to get the best out of them. I have no doubt that there are just some things that don’t interest children but sometimes it might also be a case of simply sitting down and playing with them and the new type of toy being introduced. Build a positive experience, spark of a creative and imaginative process and see if they can take it up independently. Seems like an odd concept but sometimes, in some situations, kids need to be taught how to have a good time!
Jill says:
My two boys, ages 2 and 5 LOVE their kitchen. And whenever we are at a friend’s house, they immediately go to the dress up clothes, the baby stroller and the sparkly wands etc. They each have dolls, but don’t play with them often. My assessment? A few things from the opposite gender help. Cars especially. They are necessary for early ‘science’ development, motion, gravity, rolling, etc. Send Mike to Target immediately.
Sheryl Macnie says:
I have two girls, ages ten and eight. The ten year old asked for real tools like her Dad´s for Christmas and spends her time hammering nails into bits of wood, they both have toy cars and construction sets, but also play with dolls and love dressing up. My husband is away a lot and therefore I often have to hang pictures, change light fixtures, change punctures on the car, etc. etc. so maybe seeing me doing these things has opened up their minds to non gender specific activities.
Karen says:
I don’t have children of my own but I live with my cousins and their two girls and whilst both, (one is 5 years old and one is 2 years old), are entirely obsessed with all things girly, they also love dinosaurs, dragons and their wooden train set. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head by at least questioning the issue because most of what children learn in those first few years comes from what we set them up to experience. Plenty of the traditionally ‘girls’ toys’ have their own value but you’re really starting to build up ideas of gender-specific roles if Annie is only exposed to playing with kitchen equipment and never given a set of toy tools to muck about with, for instance. If I stick my teacher hat on for a moment, it is also often a case that the boy-oriented and marketed toys are where the bulk of the construction and building toys exist because boys are, traditionally, kinesthetic learners. Does that mean Annie won’t be one? Hell no. The key is to probably stop noticing the colours because that’s a marketing tool that simply narrows your vision and just shop for toys that LOOK fun. Who cares if it’s a toy tractor and a dump-truck, what does it actually do and how might it enrich imaginative play and/or any fine motor skill development? Annie is at an age where she is primed for exploration and her natural curiosity and desire to absorb new information should hopefully leave her receptive to a lot of different types of toys. I agree with the others, try it and see. If nothing else, you’ll wind up with some things to keep Mike occupied and out of mischief.
Corinne says:
We have a kitchen set for our son. He’s 16 months old and LOVES it. We haven’t going the baby doll route yet, but he loves his stuffed animals. If we go to the store one day and he wants a baby doll, we’ll get it. But for right now, stuffed animals are doing the trick.
Kirsten says:
I had lots of girly stuff growing up, but lots of boy toys too. I had my barbies (all had haircuts) and My Little Ponies. I loved my baby dolls and my stuffed toys helped me come up with stories up until the time I was nearly finished with high school. But I also had Jurasic Park figurines, Transformer toys, cars, and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
I was obsessed with Starla and the Jewel Riders and adored Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers (and Conan the Adventurer).
I grew up in a gender neutral environment because my parents were determined not to force me into any set ideals. I was raised to be the person I was meant to be.
Jenny says:
I think it is interesting that “girl toys” are now so girly. If it is marketed in an explosion of pink/ purple then it must be for a girl. I am a mother to one son. I thought of the toy vacuum cleaner, cash register and food set as “gender neutral” since I bought them in realistic colors. I am aware that they also came in girly colors. I find that weird, since I am yet to see a pink/ purple grocery cart or vacuum cleaner in real life. Boys and girls loved to play with these toys at our house. My son adored the Barbie airplane at a friend’s house. He liked to ride on it around their house. I would get an assortment and just let her play.
I am bothered more by the “boys drool” or other t-shirts ghat put down boys in the interest of “girl power”. I would never dress my son in a shirt that said “girls suck”.
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
Totally agree on the “boys drool” and other similar sayings on t-shirts. I don’t want to be a stick in the mud, but stuff like that is just hurtful, mean spirited, and incorrect. My guys ROCK! So do my girls!
Shab says:
I have two boys and like many moms here, my boys have a tea set. They both also have girlish car seat covers because those were the ones on sale at the time that I needed them. (one is yellow with flowers and the other is “strawberry” colored.)
tracey c says:
there is nothing like other people’s toys! My son is almost three and has boatloads of “boy” toys. But his most prized possession from ages 1 until nearly 2 was a baby doll. He carried that thing with him all around town. He also has a toy kitchen that he likes to play with. I can remember as a young girl one of my most favorite Christmas presents was a tonka pickup truck like my brothers. It was my first non-girlie toy and I have a distinct memory of it, I was probably 8.
Annie is TOO cute, thank you for continuing to share your lives with us.
Gretchen says:
My son has a number of girl toys: tea set, kitchen, baby dolls, stroller. My husband rolled his eyes at the purchases but he plays with them a fair amount.
Jen says:
We have 3 kids–2 boys and 1 girl. So we have both types of toys in the house. My boys LOVE playing with the kitchen stuff etc as much as the girl loves the legos and cars and all. My SIL has 2 girls and she does buy boy toys for them and they play with those a lot. I also know a few people who only have boys and have bought the girl things for their kids……..
Mindy says:
We had a boy first and bought him mainly alphabet stuff (he loved anything with letters/numbers). When my daughter was born (he had just turned two) we bought him a stroller with a Cookie Monster doll when he came to the hospital. All of our friends had girls when we had a boy-when we would go over to friends’ houses, he would play with the strollers. He loved that stroller. That Christmas we also bought him a kitchen set. He still plays with it (2+ years later). My daughter loves playing with cars but enjoys the food/kitchen set the most. My son is now into building things. He also loved his cars (and will still play with them).
I would have a variety of stuff. My daughter loved playing with the toys we had and then someone gave her necklaces and a purse for her birthday and she went nuts. She’ll play with the cars and push them around while wearing all her necklaces…then she’ll put the cars in her purse.
Jenn Neuman says:
My oldest son lovedto play in all my kitchen stuff. We even got him an entire “cleaning” set when he was one and a half for christmas. He kept that stuff till he was seven. To this day he still begs to help me cook and clean. On the other hand my youngest seems to realize that all that kind of stuff is actually “work” and stays as far away as possible.
Mysheli says:
Parents of boys are often worried-or embarrassed- on get their children “girl toys.”
Quite frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a damn.
My son loves playing with toys geared to both genders. And you know what? Girl toys encourage more imaginative play, at least in my short time of experience. V has autism, so whatever is gonna help him the most is what he’ll get. He had baby dolls (they were for desensitizing–he was scared to death of babies) and he loves to play with kitchen sets. I’ve managed to find somewhat masculine sets so his dad is happy as well.
At the end of the day just let our kids play with what they want. If they’re happy and learning, what more can we want as parents?
Tamela says:
My boys have always LOVED visiting our friends with 2 girls their age because they got to play with all kinds of pink stuff. Strollers, dolls, vacuums, you name it, but they never really asked for any of this stuff for home.
While we have stuck with mostly boy stuff or gender neutral items, the boys have a play kitchen that they LOVED (they are now outgrowing it-sniff) and my younger son got a tea party set for Christmas last year. In his words “tea parties are AMAZING!” While he loves sports, rolling around in the dirt and being a rough and tumble boy, he also has a fondness for rings. His favorite is a purple plastic Cheetah Girls ring that my MIL got from some kid at work. He’ll trot around the house with a ring on every finger and say he’s Ringo Starr.
Mysheli says:
Pft. It’s early, I’m in the dark and I’m using my iPhone to read and comment. Forgive me for my typo. My initial thought was meant to read as:
Parents of boys are often worried-or embarrassed-to get their children “girl toys”.
I could give a flip honestly. If V ends up as an adult man that still likes things that are “meant” for women, that’s fine with me, I love my son regardless. As a society we fear that if we encourage our kids to play with toys geared to the opposite sex we’re encouraging homosexuality.
If my baby boy can grow up to be in a romantic relationship with anyone–male or female–I will be overjoyed. I just want him to love and be loved.
gugs says:
I like you and I don’t even know you
Margaret says:
I have a 20 month old and he is ALL about the “Cah! Cah!” (Cars, trains, trucks). It’s kind of freaky because I was definitely not trying to push him towards them, but they’re his favorite pages in word books, it’s his favorite aisle in Toys R Us (which I avoid now). Dude picks out cars in places that I wasn’t even looking. Sure, they’re traditionally “boy” toys, but I don’t care so much. He loves them. The end. Do we have baby dolls? Not really, because I’ve never wandered over to the baby doll aisle, and because no one has gifted him with one (most of his toys are gifts so far).
But I WILL be buying my son a play kitchen and soon as we move and have more room. Because in our house Daddy does the cooking. That is one item that I am shocked is considered to be a gender-specific item. Not over here!
dawn says:
Before my daughter was born, I bought my first son a kitchen set. He loved it, as did his little brother. I will say, that when Wade (2nd son) was born, I bought Wil (1st son) a baby doll. He never touched it, ever. I tried to drag it out again for Wade, when I was nearly ready to deliver Kellyn, he had no interest either. I’ve bought Kellyn primarily girly toys, she loves them, but she also LOVES to play with her brother’s stuff, much to their dismay I’m afraid! LOL I do, on occasion, find Wade & Kellyn playing action figures & Barbies in the doll house or kitchen.
amy says:
My daughter asked for a train for Christmas….and got it (even though many people I knew thought it was weird/crazy). She loves cars, balls, etc. too. We get her both boy and girl toys. She loves them both and I love having a well rounded child. I think it’s harder for parents of boys because of stereotypes but I know lots and lots of boys who have kitchens.
Jean says:
This was funny to read as I just had a discussion with my now 22-year-old daughter. Although her playroom was strewn with Barbie everything and she played for hours in the pinkness of it all, her favorite toy memory is the Playmobile pirate ship that Santa brought when she was 4 (it is pretty darn cool). She, too, had a variety of stuff, from the Barbie bonanza to zippy radio-controlled cars, pink scooters and basket balls.
No matter what, enjoy the madness of it all. I miss those wild days of wading through Barbie shoes and dried out markers…
Kelly says:
I love your last 2 sentences!
Nellie says:
My daughter loves playing cars with her daddy, even the electric, remote ones. I think those sort of toys are great and there are so many girl colored cars that it will be all the more fun for her. I would love to get my daughter a boy doll but she doesn’t seem to care either way so I’m still holding out on buying one. My daughter l0ves all the girlie toys and will always prefer them to her boy cousins toys but doesn’t mind playing them out of sheer curiosity.
I think you can certainly buy boy related toys but would suggest ones that you and Annabel or Mike and Annabel will play with together as opposed to just her sitting there playing with the toy on her own.
Mynde says:
Get the girl a barbie car and call it a day!
Sheena says:
Another sweet family lost their daughter, Maddie way too soon. Thought you may be able to offer them words of courage. They are asking for everyone to put bows on their daughters today to remember theirs.
kandjstaats.blogspot.com
Amy says:
My 2.5 year-old girl (only child) plays with a mix of girls’ and boys’ toys. What we’ve noticed, though, is that the way she interacts with these toys is different from how a little boy might. Boys tend to be rougher and more about action and movement, while she is about making things and interacting with them.
Scholarly research indicates there are real differences between boys and girls but that these differences are quite modest in infancy. They become greater over time, mainly (although not only) due to parental and social influence.
I’d suggest getting Annie a few trucks (among them a big yellow Tonka dump truck), some big block sets, a bunch of little cars and a whole bunch of things she can build or move with. So important for motor and spatial skills, and she’ll probably play with them in much the same way she plays with her other toys.
You can always save the girlie stuff for her clothes! I certainly do!
tonya says:
Both of my girls always preferred girly stuff, but my oldest went through a phase of LOVING matchbox cars. She still has quite an impressive set. Both of my girls also loved a wooden train set, and both loved balls, basketball goals, golf clubs, etc. (Much to Daddy’s delight!) At 6, my youngest is all girl, and my oldest is for the most part, but she’s a force to be reckoned with on a ball field or court. I say buy that girl a big dump truck and see where that goes. Annie strikes me as the type of girl who would probably love some boy stuff mixed in with all her girly things.
Karrie says:
Ahhh, the good ol’ Matchbox car. My husband bought over fifty before our son was even born. As he got older they were his favorite toy. Then one day I found one on the floor with no tires. I asked him where they were and he pointed to his belly. Ummm, that’s not good. LOL So I called his doctor and she told me to watch his diaper and make sure all four came out. The next day sure enough, there they were. In the position that they would be on a car! You should have seen the look on my husbands face when I came running at him with a poopy diaper. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. He was equally amazed and said “It looks like it drove down his poop shoot.” LOL! Ahhh, memories.
Chris says:
My daughter was 3 when her baby brother was born and so we pretty much only had girl toys when he was about Annie’s age. He was obsessed with balls, but her loved her baby dolls. This made her very upset so we got him his own doll, Baby Fred. He carried that thing everywhere and when some dad at a store made a comment about his doll, my daughter leaped to his defense that he was just practicing to be a daddy. I was so proud of her and that dad slunk away with his tail between his legs! HA! Fast forward almost 4 years and he still sleeps with Baby Fred, but he mostly plays with cars and trains and superheroes.
My niece who is almost 3 loves playing with girl stuff, but has a Thomas the Train set that could rival any boy (including my son) and loves matchbox cars too.
Colleen says:
In an effort to be a cutting edge, modern parent, I bought my son a doll. He liked it played with it but eventually forgot about it. When my daughter was 10 months old, she found it and has never let it go. She is 18 and still sleeps with her (a bald Cabbage Patch). My son always had a fascination with cars and trucks and it wasn’t just the toys I gave him, he liked the cars on the street! Who knows why. I would go ahead and buy Annie some trucks, they are fun, especially the kind with front end loaders and dump trucks! Go Tonka Trucks!
Dregina says:
I grew up with boy and girl toys and played with all of them. Really, I don’t think there’s any harm that can come from having some of both around. If she had gotten really into a certain kind of girl toy on the trip, would you hesitate to get it for her?
Molly says:
There are four of us and we go boy, girl, boy, girl, so there were always mixed gender toys. If I can recall, my little brother loooooved his guyas (action figures) and anything he could turn into a weapon whereas I preferred babies and the space shuttle (I wanted to be an astronaut). Once my older brother threw my American Girl Doll down the stairs and it ripped her arm off. Hysterics ensued and poor Molly (the doll, not me) had to go to the doll hospital. My little sister loved blankies and stuffed animals. One of the few things we all played with was playmobile stuff. Although I just liked setting them all up and my brother wanted them to attack each other.
I don’t think it could hurt to get annie some “boy toys” but at the same time like you said, she could just totally ignore them.
Jennifer L says:
I say, why not? My daughter is 3, and she looooves cars and trains and the big chunky (toddler safe) legos. She adored matchbox cars and cannot take a bath unless she has all of her “Fars mom!” (still working on that ‘c’ sound). She loved trains so much, that Christmas of 2009, Santa brought her a train table complete with wooden tracks, farm & construction buildings/men (you try finding a train table geared towards girls, lol, the construction men weren’t optional). She adored it and played at it as long as we’d let her. Sure she has an older brother, so she was automatically exposed to certain things, but I wouldn’t have had a problem buying her some of them if she didn’t have a brother. Also, while I didn’t intentionally buy him dolls, when my son was this age he did have a toy kitchen that he loved, and also a fake vacuum. I’d say he got a couple years of good use out of it before he started hiding booby-traps in the little platic cupboards and having his action figures take death defying leaps off the top of the little fridge.
I don’t think you’re denying her anything, but if Mike wants to run out and buy her a toy car or two, I say go for it!
Lora says:
When my son was tiny, he had pretty much all boy toys. Then he had a sister, and it became clear that he would need his own baby doll. So now he has a doll and a stroller. He plays with them regularly. My daughter has always had access to his toys. She plays mostly with her stuff, but does like to join him playing tractors. We have one friend who has an only daughter who is 7. Her parents bought her a variety of toys–dolls, trains, trucks, dress up dresses. She played with trucks and trains for a long time, but now pretty much prefers her polly pockets and princess dolls. I say to get Annie a few cars and trucks, and she’ll sort out the rest.
Heather says:
I have a 2 1/2 year old son. For his 2nd birthday, we got him a blue and grey kitchen toy and a bunch of toy food… he loves it! He loves pretending to cook. When we go play at the play centre in town, he likes the dolls there, I mostly don’t buy him one for home, because I am pretty sure it will be the “someone else’s toy” thing, so we leave certain toys just at the centre. I am not really worried about gender specific toys, but more so the look of it. We liked the kitchen set because it wasn’t pink and shimmery, so it could be for both genders (same with the shopping cart he got).
I even remember as a kid loving playing at my neighbours house with their trucks and other boy toys, boys just have better toys!
Have fun with it.
Therese says:
I have a boy (and a girl on the way) and although he has mostly “boy” toys, we have made a concentrated effort to have “girl” toys as well. He loves his trucks and airplanes and balls but he also loves pushing his baby doll in the stroller. He also really likes anything kitchen related. Right now, he just has a small set of kid sized plates, cups and utensils to play with but a small kitchen set could be in his future (if we can figure out where it would go). I will say that we have based our “girl” toy choices for him on things he has liked while playing with at his cousins’ houses and/or at his daycare. Overall, I think it’s nice to have a variety of toys, no matter the associated gender.
Kate says:
My little boy who is 3 LOVES playing with his kitchen set, and dishes, and play food. I would say it his in his top 3 favorite activities. We got the whole kit and kaboodle at a yard sale for like 20 bucks. I basically just get whatever catches his eye. Mostly he goes for “boy” type things – but once in awhile he wants a “girl” type thing. I could care less – whatever keeps him occupied. Maybe once Annabel is older and can help pick her own toys, it will be easier.
Angie says:
I am a tomboy and when I had my first child (girl) I was all about not putting her into gender roles and having both dolls and cars for her to play with. I preached (along with all the other things I “knew” before I was a mom) about how girls and boys are the the same and we shoudn’t be sexist to them from birth.
Turns out my daughter was a girly girl (still is) she wanted nothing to do with balls or cars or “boy toys.” She always chose dolls and the most sparkly, princessy things around. She was accessorizing with hats and necklaces before she was two. When she learned to talk we would go to the store and when we got out of the car she would say “got purse mama?” ( I didnt even carry a purse but she did) Anyway, that child is just wired as a girly girl. Dont get me wrong, I’ve influenced her and she can play in the mud and throw balls and play outdoor but she always looks good doing it. I’ll say “kids we are going on a hike” and she will run into the house to get the right shoes and bag for the occasion.
Then I had a son, he love all his sisters toys. He has cars and trains and all kinds of boy toys but he spends equal time with girl and boy stuff. Now that he is almost 5 he is starting to not want to dress up as a princess and is becoming aware of gender differences but for a while he LOVED playing princesses and barbies and whatever else his big sister played.
My third child is a girl. She was born into a house with both boy and girl toys. She is less of a girly girl than her sister and she has played with a lot of different things. She will dress up as princesses with her sister BUT she LOVES spiderman. She plays with trucks, blocks, dolls, spiderman, batman, cars, and balls and a lot of other things. There does not seem to be a preference yet. She is two and a half. It is so interesting to watch each little person in my house. They are all so unique. So my answer to your question is let her have a couple cars and see if she likes them. Let her play with whatever she wants. (my daugter has a very simple remote control fire truck that sounds an alarm the whole time it is running. She loves it and laughs so loud everytime she plays with it.
MS says:
Sounds like you need to start a theme with this year’s birthdays for all your friends’ kids…toys for the opposite gender! My sister and I had a ton of toys for girls, but the most loved toys were always those closest to “reality.” Trucks, cars, kitchen stuff, all super fun. We had these metal tractor trailer trucks and the doors actually opened. They were awesome (and I think a free giveaway at a convention or something my dad went to). Either way, kids like to imitate. Imagination is fun, but exposure to all toys is too! Go get that girl some dump trucks and Transformers!
Hayley says:
My 5yo girl has a mixture, she has no boy siblings or cousins but loves to play with cars, lego, Ben 10 & Toy Story things just as much as she enjoys barbies and dolls. We buy her a mixture of things, not particularly gender based.
I have friends with boys who have dolls and pushchairs!
Ashley says:
My first daughter is a girly girl. She loves all things doll and doll related. My second daughter has always been into cars and trains and stuff like that. In fact, this year (she’s 2, by the way) Santa brought her a big farm implement thing ( I don’t pretend to know what the thing actually is called) that makes noise and she loves it! I don’t mind buying her what she wants, even if it’s a “boy” toy, as long as she plays with it, which she does.
Becky says:
My girl is 2.5 and she loves, loves, LOVES cars, trains, Tonka trucks, and other typical “boy” toys. I just gave her some Little People construction trucks for Valentine’s Day and you’d have thought I gave her a pot of gold.
Now, granted. I gave them to her in a ladybug purse, so… we’re all about integration here, people.
Editdebs says:
I absolutely bought a baby doll for my son when he was little. He named it Baby Boy Claire (his best friend’s name–a girl), and he carried it everywhere. He mostly played with any kind of ball and his Playmobil “guys,” but he loved that doll.
Missy says:
When my son was little, he had pretty much all boy toys, or at least gender neutral stuff. But of, course, since my daughter came second, she had access to all his toys as well as her own. She’s now 3 and plays with race cars and legos as much as her dolls and dress up. My son love to play with her in her Kitchen, and they’ll sometimes play dress up together. They also love to play board games together. So I’ve never really worries about boy toys vs. girl toys. But both were also in daycare up until last June, so had access there to all kinds of toys as well…
Julie says:
When my boys (now 14 and 11) were young, a “Mommy & Me” teacher told our class that all boys should have a doll to teach them empathy. My husband freaked, but it made sense to me so I bought a small plastic doll. We mostly used it for role playing …”be nice to the baby”, “don’t hurt the baby”, etc, but that doll was often dragged around the house. Fast forward to now, Baby Buddy is still in a small bucket of special toys that my kids want to keep as special memories.
Sunny says:
I bought my now almost 3-year-old son an infant Cabbage Patch baby for his 1st birthday and he has 2 kitchen sets (one upstairs, and one downstairs), which he plays with nearly non-stop. He also has several Barbie’s and dress up costumes. I think it is wonderful to not “genderize” toys, and allow each individual child the opportunity to see what they like!
BethRD says:
My daughter (3.5) has an older brother and has inherited a lot of toys that were more boy-ish, and she plays with them and her girlier toys about equally, although she disdains baby dolls and only wants to play with grownup dolls. My son was honestly never much interested in toys at all, gender-appropriate or not, so all of the trucks and trains and dinosaurs people gave him were in perfect shape and my daughter has taken them all for her own. I honestly think balls are gender-neutral so I would definitely make sure there are some of those around. If you’re looking for some gender-neutral things that roll, the Little People bus is a classic and can carry a lot of things!
Melissa says:
Our kids go like this – Boy, Girl, Girl, Boy. Our first daughter (despite having every pink thing possible) loved to play with her brothers cars, imparticular. We let her of course – but then I found matchbox cars with little girl themes! It was a nice medium. Fast foward 10 years – our final baby – is a boy with 2 older sisters. He is only 7 months, but he is all about the bazillion girl toys we have – and even cuddles with a huge dora doll. He also has adopted this cast aside cheapy baby doll as his friend – he pounces on her and kisses her. I really don’t think it’s a big deal , or will effect his manhood or whatever. I think it’s just part of interacting and developing, influenced by whatever other kids are around.
Mary says:
Since I have a boy and a girl only 17 months apart exposing them to all sorts of toys hasn’t been an issue. It is interesting to see what they choose though. My little boy has always adored the doll stroller. He fills it with Matchbox cars to push around. Meanwhile I bought him some Thomas stuff and his sister is totally obsessed with it. She assigns personalities to the different trains and takes them everywhere with her as I’d hoped she would have done with her reedonkulously expensive American Girl doll she got for Christmas. We have some neat toy stores that actually have the toys out for kids to play with in the store. I like to take mine there and see what they are drawn to.
Kari says:
I’m kind of surprised to hear that a ball would be described as a “boy” toy. I never thought of them as gender-specific. My son loved his kitchen set and vacuum. He also had a few dolls too. I figure boys/men cook, clean and take care of babies, so I tried to stop defining things like that as boy/girl toys. My daughter has been more into typically girl things, but she liked pushing around cars/trucks when she was younger. Buy Annie some “boy” items, but keep an open mind. They might not all keep her interest, but it’s the same as how not all “girl” toys keep her interest. It’s the toy, not the gender it’s intended for.
Linda Campbell says:
Hi Heather – I must admit I am like you. Our three year old son has toys for boys. He does, however, have a Bar-b-q, and loves it, but that really is a “man” think anyway. I have never given him a doll or anything to play with. In fact the “little men or women, aka Guys” that come with Fisher Price garages, airports, etc., he doesn’t even play with. He just uses the cars, truck, planes, or boats without any drivers. Hope that helps. Hope you are well.
PM says:
My 2 year old daughter LOVES cars, trains, pirate ships and especially her Handy Manny tool set. She still plays with her “babies” and cooking sets but I think she’s more drawn to transportation toys right now.
Jen @ Freckle on the Nose says:
My nephew is about two months older than Annie and his parents buy him every toy under the sun… but he’s really quite satisfied with measuring cups and Tupperware bowls.
I’d say as long as Annie’s having fun with what’s she’s got, that’s what’s important, but you could always throw in a race car or two just to change things up a bit (and to make your hubs happy!).
Catherine says:
I had a similar epiphany. My daughter (who’s only a month or so older than Annabel) had always gravitated towards “girl toys,” even at daycare where there is an option for both. So that’s what we bought her. But one weekend we flew to visit her great grandmother, who had two wooden train sets. Molly loved them! And it occurred to me that she didn’t have a single car, train, or rolling toy in general. Since then, we’ve rectified that. Her great-grandmother sent her home with one of the trains (which she loves) and for Valentine’s we gave her a little pink & purple Little People car (which she also loves). So while I’m not insistent on “boying up” her toy collection, I am trying to diversify for her. That seems to be working so far.
K D says:
My son’s favorite toys are his stove/oven, pots and pans, and shopping basket full of foods. Oh, and his slice-able fruits and wooden knife from Melissa and Doug.
You’re doing your daughter a disservice, yes–though a normal one. There’s been quite a bit of research indicating that a good chunk of the spatial-reasoning skills divide between boys-on-average and girls-on-average is actually attributable to the fact that “boys’ toys” freqently involve building/constructing/manipulating stuff in space; while “girls’ toys” don’t. So get her some blocks, and maybe a set of manipulable train tracks or a racetrack or something later. You can still get pink train cars if it matters to you. Or ones with flowers painted on them. The dolls might enjoy riding on them eventually, just as my son’s train cars sometimes get baked in his oven.
Mindy B. says:
My husband is so completely into trains, so we seem to have a lot of them around the house. While my daughter does love them, what she’s most often playing with are her dolls and stuffed animals. I often wonder the same sort of thing – should I get the toy in primary colors, or go with the cute pink and purple? Should I get her a toy truck or airplane? I just can’t resist, though – the girl stuff is just so much more fun!!!
Lisa says:
I’m like you, when Maya was a baby I was drawn to the pinks and purples and girly things. I tried to make sure she had balls and cars and what not but they were usually pink or purple too! Now that she is 3 she is all about the girly toys. Our house is filled with princess stuff. When we visit our friends with boys she will play with the boy toys but if at the toy store she always wants to walk down the girl aisles.
When she is old enough Annie will decide what she wants to play with regardless of what you give her when she is too young to decide for herself.
K D says:
By the by–it is *incredibly* cute when your two-year-old warns you that the “japperneeno” (cappuccino) he has made you in his upside-down-stacking-block “cup” is “vewy hot– cawrfuhl!”
But now he knows to give Daddy the jappernino, and to make tea for Mama.
Angel says:
When my son was younger he would always be drawn to our neighbor’s little girl’s toys. We didn’t run out to buy him dolls or a kitchen set. I figure it would be special to get to play with those things at her house. Now that I have a young daughter and her dolls and pink purses are sprinkled into the toy box, he ignores them for the most part and heads straight to his action figures. That is unless Darth Vader needs to hold a Moxie Girl hostage.
Kate says:
our youngest is a boy, he has a kitchen set, play food and tons of cars and trucks etc.. I loved cars as a kid, always had a pocketful.
Melanie says:
My daughter has always loved “boy toys.” We got a nice, new tv when she was maybe 18 months old. We saw the movie Cars playing on the display and it looked so awesome, so we bought the movie too. She LOVED that movie… so from there we started buying her Cars things. We already knew she loved cars and trucks from other toys she had and from playing with my nephews toys, but things escalated from there.
When her brother was born when she was 2, we had a hard time buying him gifts as he got older, because his sister already had all kinds of boy toys. Now she plays with a nice balance of things like her doll house, kitchen, dolls/stroller, cars, trucks, trains, tools, etc. I’m really happy with the balance. And her brother (now 3) is also known the push the babies around and play with all of the same toys as his sister, even though he is a very rough and tumble boy. He will occasionally say his favorite color is pink and ask for the princess vitamins rather than his Spiderman vitamins. I just go with it.
Lora says:
Kitchen sets are almost always a big hit with boys, up to about age 5. They make more gender neutral ones now too, they don’t have to be all pink and purple. But we have only one girl and 3 boys, so she also gets plenty of chances to play with boy toys and she owns THREE of her own lightsabers! lol I think boy toys rock, I’m glad Annie is going to have some of her own, but I think its pretty normal for parents with kids of the same gender one one kid to only buy stuff geared towards boy or girl.
Rebecca says:
When I was young I played with my Barbies and Legos equally. I also couldn’t bear getting rid of toys that were so much a part of my childhood (and cost hundreds of dollars overall) so they’re hanging out in a closet until I have children (but are rediscovered when my niece and nephew come to visit).
I grew up more as a tom-boy; running around outside without shoes, climbing trees, riding bikes and horses… But, I really liked baby dolls and barbies. I really liked the matchbox cars my brother passed down to me and the legos I recieved as gifts.
I am not a mother yet, but I believe, whether I have boys or girls, I will have dolls, a kitchen set, blocks and cars. I’m not big on buying a ton of toys, I feel like money is better off for experiences (going to a museum or the zoo or taking a trip somewhere, those are the things I want my children to remember, not that they had mounds of presents every Christmas and birthday). So, I think children should have the basic toys that all kids love to play with, whether they are a boy or a girl.
TamaraL says:
For my son’s first Easter (ummm, 20 years ago!) my neighbor gave him a baby doll with a note that, Boys need babies too! I still have that note in his baby book – but I honestly can’t remember if he played with that thing or not. He did have a kitchen set when he was little that he loved playing with.
My daughter has always loved girly things though!
Kim says:
I have twin girls and it’s pretty much all girl toys here!! And I had to laugh at Annabelle loving toys at someone else’s house. For a long time, I would run out and buy a toy my girls LOVED at someone else’s house. Too bad once they owned it they weren’t as interested!
Lisa says:
My daughter that is three definitely has more girl toys than boy toys. But we did get her a remote control corvette which she loves and a couple of other boy type things for Christmas. My sister has a son that is 17 months and he really wanted a baby doll. He plays with my daughters girl toys and that baby doll desire did not go away for him. So she bought him a baby. And he is so cute saying “bebe”. I guess boys like babies too, even if they are dressed in all pink. Lisa
Jo says:
Toys feed imagination. Imagination seeds creativity, expression, knowledge…. it doesn’t matter what the toy is. My boy and girl are both under 3 but they play with the same toys- kitchen sets and strollers are a hit with both. As are balls, trikes, and easy button remote control cars. It can be really tough to find certain things in gender neutral colors but for bigger ticket items (like a kitchen) maybe its worth it (not that the kids care now- but maybe they will later?). But that might just be because my husband does all the cooking and I want to keep it that way
Leslie says:
Emily has SUCH girlie toys, but she does have a train set and 2 dump trucks and the fisher price garage. And of course a lot of gender neutral stuff like water table and such. She goes for the girls toys mostly, or makes the dump truck a family car and loads all the little people in it. It’s nice to have some when boys come over they totally prefer those choices!
Tammy says:
My daughter is about as girly as they come at 5 years old, but she loves cars/trucks, spiderman, legos and all of a sudden, the Power Rangers. Get Annie some cars and the big, chunky legos. She will love them.
Lori says:
I have two girls (4 yrs and 3 yrs) and we have trucks, cars and balls in our house too. We still have all the girly stuff (dress up, dolls, strollers and more) but my daughters like to play with the boy toys too. When my older daughter was 2.5 years one of her favorite movies was Cars. She loved Lightening and Mater and we got her the cars from the movie to play with.
As my daughters are getting older they are choosing to play with more girly things like barbies and dress up but I have no problem with them playing with “boy” toys too. Hey, I am a girly girl who that loves sports (and understands them too) and I played softball my whole life, I don’t see why my girls can’t do both too. I seem to have turned out okay, or so I think
Ms. Moon says:
My grandson has trucks and books and stuffed animals and dolls and a shopping cart and he loves all of them and he hugs his dolls fiercely and kisses them too. But what he really loves aren’t toys at all. Give the boy a container with a lid he can figure out and four small potatoes and he is happy for a long time. A pen he can pull the top off of and put back on. A pan and a whisk to pretend to cook. A flashlight makes him incredibly happy. He likes real stuff.
LizL says:
My husband resisted buying our son a kitchen set, even though I KNEW he would love it. He relented this Christmas and Charlie loved it!! He makes me “Moni and Cheese” and “foffee” everyday. When he got his kitchen set for Christmas, he got a basketball hoop too, which he loved just as much
Gwen says:
Since I grew up with a brother, I was used to having a variety of things around. Now I have three daughters, and although they have lots of “girl” toys, (dolls, kitchens) that’s not all we buy them. They also have sports equipment, cars and trucks, tool sets, a couple building sets. They love hot wheels, they have a whole set that used to be my brother’s, with a garage and a racetrack. We have a train table with trains. Oh, and they love pirates, too, we have a pirate ship and a bunch of little pirates that they play with in the bathroom. My husband taught them to talk like pirates…nothing funnier than hearing three year olds saying, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…”
I”d say let Mike go crazy and buy some “boy” stuff. It’ll be fun for both of them.
guarros says:
When it comes to toys – we try to do a mix. Mostly because that seems to be her preference. Example: she LOVES building, always has – she also loves destroying too so blocks, tools, cars, trucks that all kind of goes with that. She brings her cars, Buzz Lightyear & tool box to Princess time though. She girls EVERYTHING up, but does like what might typically be considered a boy toy. I actually just shared a pic on twitter this am -she girls things up on her own so much – even her pjs. One of her fav pj sets is a toy story one (totally bought that in the boy section)… but she insists on wearing a tutu with it. No exceptions!
http://twitter.com/#!/guarros/status/40414853285945344
erica says:
i have a two year old son and a 8 month old daughter. so i have every kind of boy toy and every kind of girl toy. my daughter loves to play with her baby dolls, but she also likes to play with her brothers cars. or if she sees him play with something then she wants it. my little boy likes to play with baby dolls and it freaks my husband out. i was going to buy him his own way before we had our daughter and he flipped out. he’s not against gay people, because i have many gay friends and a gay uncle but he’s afraid that it will turn him gay, but now he really cant say anything when i say pick out a toy we are going somewhere and he picks out a baby doll. i tell him to leave him alone.
Rachel says:
We bought my son a play kitchen when he was just over a year old. He is now 3 and plays with it all the time still. He also has a couple dolls. He plays with them some, but not often. He loves his cars, trains, and blocks so much more than the dolls.
Amber says:
My nephew has a kitchen that my son LOVES playing with and he loves Dora just as much as Diego. 5 minutes later, he’s shooting mean guys and flying around with his batman cape. Of course, I have one of “those” husbands who think he shouldn’t have anything girly.
I think variety is good for every kid. You might find something they really enjoy that you hadn’t even thought of. As a young kid, I never owned one barbie and the closest thing to “girly” toys I had were care bears. Give me cars, tractors, and G.I. Joes and I was set for hours.
Sarah says:
both my boys had access to dolls and barbies at young ages …just to round things out so-to-speak. and now their little sister (a few months older than Annabel) has access to their cars and trucks and loves playing with them as well.
Mer says:
I have two boys, 3 years and 10.5 months, and they have a kitchen set. My older son loves to pretend he is cooking. We also have a cleaning kit, with a vacuum and broom and iron and maybe something else. My older one was on a big cleaning kick for a while (what a shame when that ended) so my sister got it for him. They are both “boys’ boys” in that they love cars, trucks, etc. but they do like other things too. Neither of them has a doll. The older one does have lots of stuffed animals though. He’s never expressed interest in a doll but if he did, I’d get it for him.
Oh, and my older one likes to pretend to put on makeup, because he sees me do it everyday. My thinking is “no harm, no foul.” If the worst I ever have to worry about is my son liking makeup, I think I’ll be lucky.
Sara Mc. says:
My niece, who is 11 today and requested a cabbage patch doll for her birthday, LOVES playing with cars. I did too. One of my greatest memories of playing at my Nana’s house, was pulling out all the hot wheels & matchbox cars and making a traffic jam. LOL..Go ahead and buy her some cars. I’m sure she’d love them.
Tiffani says:
I’ve worried about the same thing with my little boy but for Christmas, Santa brought him a kitchen set, which, along with his tea dishes, his pie set, and cookie set are his favorite toys. I fully expect him to grow up to be a famous chef who loves to cook for his Mommy. But totally get some cars for Annie, I’m sure you could find some in pink
Mitzi says:
Both of my girls love playing cars with their Daddy, and Daddy gets to play something he enjoys at the same time. I bet Annie and Mike would have a blast playing cars together! Little girls making race car noises are too cute.
Jenny says:
I recommend the book “Cinderella ate my daughter”. It will give you some insight into the situation without feeling like you have to ban anything. I have a four year old girl who loves things pink and princess, and I happily buy it all for her, but I did become more aware after reading the book.
sarah says:
we never did the gender toys. My boys had the general boy toys but they also had a dolls and kitchens. I think it is perfectly normal for all the toys to co exist in a all girl or all boy home. IF she liked them get her some.
Skye says:
My dad always made sure to buy me not just girly toys but “boy toys” too. I LOVED my cars. My dad even gave me his from when he was little! I think it’s sad that toys are so segregated “for boys” and “for girls”. Why can’t they all just be toys for whoever wants them? I think buying domestic toys (baby dolls, kitchens) for girls and not boys is old-fashioned and sexist.
Alyssa says:
As a gender studies student, I’ve made a definite point of not limiting my son’s life choices by exposing him only to traditionally gendered toys. He is almost 3 now and we have bought him both “genders” of toys (really, why is pink or blue innately female or male?). He’s always played with both trucks and dolls, dinosaurs and doll houses. Now that he’s old enough to make some of his own choices, we ask him what he wants and try not to put limits on what he chooses (sometimes it’s hard. Once he asked for a Dora the Explorer nightgown… I have to say I couldn’t quite go there). We just took him to the store the other day and asked him which bike he liked best… he picked the pink disney princess bike. Why not? I love that he has yet to utter the phrase “that’s for girls!” etc.
Eventually he’ll go to school and no matter what we’ve taught him he will be conditioned to believe in the gender binary we’ve tried so hard to deconstruct. But hopefully the messages he gets at home will counteract it enough that he will know he is free to be whom ever he is without the filter of traditional masculinity and allow others that same freedom. Personally I believe traditional gender roles are harmful, for the individual and for society, and have mainly been constructed to keep women “in their place”. The roles we are used to don’t exist everywhere in the world. We start learning those subtle messages from the time we are born whether we realize it or not. For my son, but particularly for my future daughter(s?) I hope other parents are working toward the same future I am. Not to get preachy. This is kind of my “thing”. There is no one right way to be a parent and your girls are both lucky to have you.
Emily says:
My little boy is almost two, and one his best friends is a little girl who is five weeks older. He LOVES playing at her house with all her pink and purple toys. Two of his favorites are a little cooking set and a tea set, so we’re planning on buying his those (in different colors) for his birthday. I think it’s fine for them to play with toys for both genders. After all, adult men cook or drink tea, and adult women play sports or some love cars, etc.
Heather says:
We always had both gender toys but only because we had our son 13 months after our daughter You could always get her *girl* cars
Ash says:
I would strongly recommend reading “Cinderella Ate My Daughter.” It’s a brand new book and a fascinating study on how we genderize our children. As momma to a daughter, I would definitely pick it up. And buy the girl some trucks, too!
themoira says:
My 18-month son loves to “help” – sweep, wipe up spills, pretend to cook, etc. We bought him a toy dust pan, cooking set, and vacuum (pink). He LOVES it. I know some of my friends think it’s weird, but I think the idea of gendered toys is ridiculous. Kids know what they love and they should be able to play however they want to play. He looks so incredibly proud of himself when he sweeps (albeit ineffectively) under his high chair.
marilyn says:
My daughter, now 12, loved action things and things she could build. Never was into dolls ever…barbie sat unopened. I would get Annie some thomas trains and some wood tracks. These are a hit for both genders and they can build and push trains all day.
She did love the Little people.. we had all of those, house, train, etc. and she really could spend hours with them. Duplos and stackign cups were another cool thing.. all about knocking stuff down. Very fun age !!
Shannon says:
I watch kids at my house, so I have both types of toys. My son loves to play with the kitchen and occasionally he even picks up a doll to feed it. The girls I watch love playing with the train table and the cars too. One little girl really likes the boy toys more than the girl ones. I think it’s good to have a variety, but most of the time, the girls will return to the more girly toys and the boys will do the same with the boy toys.
Anni says:
My son has a kitchen but he is all boy, too.
They make PINK cars for girls
jennt says:
I’m in nursing school in peds class and just took the exam over toddlers yesterday!! It is very healthy to expose your toddler to both genders toys, they have no preference as far as boy toy vs girl toy, but by 18-24 months they will usually have picked what toys they like! Having 2 daughters your house is probably all pink toys! I would let mike buy her some cars
Angela says:
When I was a little girl there was nothing more fun than stealing my brothers matchbox cars and driving them around our 70’s tile in the kitchen that had designs like roads. I remember doing it for hours. My daughter loved to play with cars, and dolls, and legos..etc. I think it’s harder for some Dad’s to let their little boys play with dolls or kitchens. That said we just bought our 14 month old his first doll to get him ready for our next adventure aka baby. So far the present to get him ready to be a big brother has ended up in the trash, toilet, and dog water. This does not bode well for our future child. In the end I just buy them whatever I think will keep them quiet…I mean that they will play with.
cindy w says:
Annie is still young enough that I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. Pretty soon, she’s going to start indicating very clearly which toys she prefers. When Catie was somewhere in the 2 year-old range, she developed an obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine. To the point that one of our potty-training bribes was to buy her (boys’) Thomas underwear. But that wasn’t me pushing it on her, she figured it out on her own and zeroed in on it. Now, at 4, Catie has zero interest in baby dolls or Barbies or even princess stuff (for the most part). She’s obsessed with animals – stuffed animals, action figures, whatever. She wants them ALL. Everything from dinosaurs to puppies to unicorns.
My cousin has a 4 year-old girl and a 2 year-old boy. Her son decided very quickly that he liked his big sister’s “girl” toys just as much as his own “boy” stuff. (His dad is not such a fan of him getting into his big sister’s princess dress-up clothes, though!) He has a little Polly Pocket doll that he calls Mommy and carries around with him everywhere. It’s kind of adorable.
I’m not sure what my point is here. I guess it’s just that eventually you’ll know what her preference is, and you’ll shop accordingly. But no need to worry about it too much in the meantime.
Dianne says:
When my daughter was 3-ish and we threw away her last pacifier, she got to go to Toys R Us to pick out an “I’m a big girl now” toy. Out of all of the toys in that store, she picked out…a Home Depot tool set!
My son loves his cars, trains, legos, tinkertoys, etc., but also loves Barbies & Groovy Girls, baby dolls, toy strollers, purses, and toy kitchens/play food.
My advice is: make sure she is exposed to everything. It will make her well-rounded! And as Annie grows up, make sure that she is just as comfortable doing the “boy” chores (lawn mowing, tire changing, etc.) as doing the “girl” chores (dishes, laundry, etc.) in your house.
Robin says:
I just read an interesting article on just this subject by a woman who wrote a book with the hilarious title: ‘Cinderella ate my Daughter’
http://www.scpr.org/programs/airtalk/2011/02/17/cinderella-eats-me-daughter/?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d5d8058ee5c6789%2C0
Here’s the link if you’re interested. =-)
Madeleine says:
I am guilty of being a mom that has bought so-called girl toys for my son. His first was a wooden kitechen. Since he was a baby he loved all things cooking (maybe do to the fact I never allowed cartoons only cooking shows, lol) His next was Cinderellas castle from Disney World. I know, I know. He really wanted it and I thought why do we as adults put labels on things. We bought it (it’s blue and grey just like the castle in Disney) and the first time he played with it we were oh boy, princesses and furniture. But then Spencer came running in our room. “look momma look” and there he was standing with his dragon who had just eaten prince charmings horse, LMBO, “what a boy” My son loves all things including My little Ponmy ( I shudder) and Strawberry Shortcake ( brings back memories) yet he already says things like “thats for girls.” I think it’s sad they can’t remain free.
This turned into a long one, sorry.
Madeleine, mom to Spencer 12 weeks 4 days early & Scott full-term
Michelle H. says:
I have both a boy and a girl. They each enjoy toys from both genders.
My son will put on a princess dress, push the stroller and cook me meals in their kitchen. He also LOVES his cars, trains, planes, etc. He has his own doll.
My daughter builds trains with him, races cars, but loves her doll house, cooking, shopping, and dress up!
I agree that exposure to everything is a positive thing. Let them pick what their interests are.
samantha jo campen says:
Our son just turned three and he got a kitchen from Santa and LOVES it. Complete with apron and oven mitt. He ‘cooks’ almost every single day. He also has a boy doll named Baby Andrew and is very sensitive with him. He also has a bunny finger puppet he likes to wrap up all snuggly in a blanket to put down for a nap, etc. But dude, he’s SUCH a boy. ALL trucks, trains, bulldozers, army guys, super heros, balls, bats, VROOM VROOM VROOM running here and there and jumping and yelling and, well, you get the idea. I’ve made very conscience decisions to get him gender neutral toys, as well as boy and girl toys. He also LOVES his cousin’s tea set and baby doll stroller. He’s also at the age where I let him guide the toy choices without much bias from me.
Jenb says:
Both of my boys went through stages where they had baby dolls and strollers for them. Its not just the girls that are parents, so I wanted to encourage that aspect of thier growth. Some of the kids in the neighborhood scoffed at them, but then later they would be playing with them and the dolls. And they are now both big burly teenage hockey players who would be very embarrassed that I’m sharing this!
char says:
I say go for it. It is good to expose her to everything. be a My suggestion is the playskool Cushy Cars. They are around 3.00. Good for small hands and for dads to play.
LD says:
I wouldn’t worry about it yet. She’s not really old enough to self-select, and once she does it won’t matter what you want to buy her. She’ll pick her favorites. I mean, there’s a reason my husband’s 2 (because his mama’s a feminist) cabbage patch kids are in pristine condition. Even if one was an astronaut, he was more into his GI Joes.
Kristin (MamaKK922) says:
I live in a household with both the girls and the boys. And my oldest son to this day if you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up he will tell you a Ballerina or a Mommy. And I say whatever you want to be Boy. I think it’s because of his sisters influence. Because all the toys are around they get to play with everything. My youngest tends to stick with the girls toys but she to loves her some cars I don’t know why but cars seem to make all children happy. In my eyes that is what I have seen. So it wouldn’t hurt to let Annie maybe pick a few cars to play with. But that is purely my opinion.
Tracy says:
My son has a whole bunch of toys… not always gender specific. He has a lot of balls and cars yes, but he also has a kitchen set (the pot that talks, and has a few food items), he has stuffed animals, and he has a baby. My sister in law does home day care so she has a ton of toys (and my son is the only child she watches now so he has EVERYTHING to choose from)… he has a baby there that he loves! He carries the baby around and nutures it… and he also slams it against the wall and runs his truck over it. Much to my husbands dismay, I allow it. I think it’s important to encourage all sorts of emotions and want him to know that it’s okay to be gentle. We’ll see how long it lasts… he’s really been into his nerf guns lately too.
Tara. says:
Well, I have one girl and 3 boys, so they’ve all been exposed to the “other gender” toys. My boys love their trucks and cars and action guys, but they also all have a special baby. My youngest is almost 4 and he’s all about Cinderella right now-this last trip to TRU, that’s what he picked as his toy. And a Batman figure. Go…. figure.
I don’t think you should worry about it now. When she’s older and makes her own toy choices, I think it’s important to let her have some freedom and take her down the dress up aisle as well at the Hot Wheels aisle. Kids don’t know the difference at a young age and they don’t care. They just want to play and have fun.
Kelly says:
We had a bit of a mish mosh of toys. My Dad is a huge train freak, so both of my girls had toy trains of some sort. Mea’s was one of her favorite toys. She also has a pink remote control car.
She still loves balls and cars, but she loves Littlest Pet Shops, babies and all other girlie things now too.
Brook says:
My daughter is almost 2 years old and she loves “boy” toys. She has a couple of baby dolls and a stroller, but if she sees a truck the doll is dropped to the side or dragged by her feet. There is nothing wrong with buying your girls “boy” toys. My middle child is a boy and he use to go to my friends house and play dolls with her daughter a lot.
shaina says:
i took care of my nephew when he was a toddler/preschooler, so i had a stash of boy-friendly toys at my house always. when i gave birth to my daughter, she had boy & girl toys to pick from, but she ultimately went for the dolls and tea party stuff. then i had my son, and he loves to play with my daughter’s kitchen set. and now my daughter prefers to build towns with legos and play with toy cars. it seems like kids just play with anything that looks like a toy. or that doesn’t, as i saw my son playing with a scotch tape dispenser. sooooo, all that to say, my advice is: it can’t hurt to mix it up and Annie will probably weave in and out of the boy-girl toy genres. just have fun playing with that sweet girl!
Dale says:
Get her the boy toys, really. I remember one Christmas when all I asked for was a car, and all I got were dolls. I was PO’d!! Luckily my Grandma had one car for my brother and she gave it to me, and I was happy and it was the BEST CAR EVER!
And in other news, I have two boys (ages 6 and 4) and they each have baby dolls that they even nurse. We also somehow have polly pockets too that they bring out occasionally, and they love to play kitchen.
So, yes they prefer the shoot’em up boy toys, but nto all the time.
Kristy says:
My 8-year-old daughter plays with some boys toys. She has had a few Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles throughout the years. She has some Matchbox cars. She has had Nerf guns (there was no objection from my husband here). She also is really into Littlest Pet Shop, make up and dolls. My 18-month-old will play with anything available: Balls, baby dolls, stuffed animals, cars or remote controls. I don’t think Annie is old enough to really care if it’s a boy or girl toy or anything. If she likes it, she’ll play with it. If I had a boy and he wanted to play with dolls, I’d have no problem with it. My husband? That’s a whole other story. They are just toys. Sometimes a doll needs to ride in style, too.
Tanya says:
My son loves girl toys, as a matter of fact, a huge portion of his christmas toys, were girls toys…like dishes, vaccum cleaners, mop, broom, etc. He also loves mommie’s high heel shoes, and to top it off, he always matches my shoes with what he is wearing. I joke all the time about being “a little worried” but i’m not. The main reason we bought him alot of girl toys, is because he was a micro-preemie and is in therapy and his therapist said to buy him real life toys and teach him about real life. But he also loves to vaccum and clean. I hope he is ok…lol…but i have also raised two other boys and they played with a doll here and there and i never stressed, so i think it is a good think to expose them to both gender toys. Let’s face it, annie might be a “tomboy” lol
Tanya
Chrisitne says:
My son has a kitchen set and a male cabbage patch kid and loves brooms and vacuums and household cleaning items. Several of my friends have bought train sets for their little girls!
Betsy says:
I think about this a lot. My 2-year old son loves all kids of toys, and we mostly have boy toys in the house. But he LOVES playing with baby dolls, doll strollers, kitchens, doll houses, etc. And honesly, the only reason I don’t buy him that stuff is because I know many members of my family (not my husband; he’s cool with whatever) would judge me for letting him play with “girly” things. Isn’t that silly? (Why I care so much what they think is another issue altogether…) I’m sure if I had a daughter I wouldn’t worry about people judging me for buying her trucks and construction sets, but something about seeing boys play with baby dolls and dress-up clothes makes some people uncomfortable. Which is just silly, but that seems to be the way it is.
tela says:
I bought my son a play kitchen, food, etc. He loved it. Still plays with it (at 4). Also bought him a doll. He was into it for a hot minute–even named it the name of a friend’s child: “Baby Lana.”
It was cute.
Then he threw it in a corner and was forgotten until it became a chew toy for our golden retriever. Try explaning *that* when Baby Lana’s mom comes over, and asks to see the Baby Lana doll. Oy.
Meagan says:
My nephew has had both, a doll and a kitchen set. The kitchen set was his big “santa” gift when he was 16 months old and he LOVED it! He would play w/ it for hours! He also has a boy cabbage patch doll who wears jeans and a shirt (but is mostly naked). He still has this doll, but it is just on the shelf w/ other stuffed toys now.
He is 6.5 now and ALL BOY. He loves wrestling and baseball, but he has a soft side. He loves playing with little kids and babies, making them laugh when he does silly stuff! I think that us giving him options brought this out!
Heather says:
Lots of people buy their sons “girl” toys. My daughter is 3, and obssessed with Iron Man. Did you ever read the blog A Cops Wife? She let her son dress up as a female character for Halloween last year and there was major backlash about it. It can go both ways. We let our little girl play with boy toys all of the time. She has toy dirtbikes and race car tracks, and “shake and go” toys, which Annie would probably LOVE. My kid is the one decked out in the princess dress, the tiara and the shoes, digging in the mud for worms with the neighborhood boys. Do what you guys think is best!
Allyson says:
My boys have a kitchen set, and they ALL play with it. I’ve never worried about other “girl” toys, though, because when they are with my nieces, they have zero interest in those toys.
Glenda says:
Having a son and a daughter 3 yrs apart they played together with both sets of toys.
My son played with his sister with the play kitchen, baby dolls, tea parties and barbies.
She played with his wrestling guys, ninja’s, matchbox cars, swords, football, baseball, soccer…etc.
They were both exposed to both gender type toys and had tons of fun playing.
Buy Annie a Barbie car/ truck… why not?!
Lisa says:
Like some previous posters, my 2.5 year old boy LOVES playing with kitchen toys and loves to “bake” cookies and play with all kinds of play foods. He doesn’t care too much for dolls or stuffed animals, though.
Kelly says:
We have three girls. We have more dolls and stuffed animals and dress-up clothes than we know what to do with.
We also have train sets, remote controlled cars and Nerf guns. One of our girls is a girly girl. She likes make-up, fake nails, dresses and doing her hair. Our middle daughter is a tomboy. She’d rather be flying by on rollerblades than inside playing with dolls. Our youngest is a mix of both. She loves lip gloss and dress-up, but she equally enjoyes a good Nerf shooting competition and playing with a train set or with her mud-pie machine.
I’m all about exposing my kids to everything. If my daughter would rather play with GI Joe than Barbie, it just ups my imagination abilities!
We do have some neighbors with a son who has a kitchen set with a BBQ, so it’s more manly! He plays in the kitchen while my youngest daughter BBQ’s. You never know!
Kristin says:
I have a boy and a girl. They are two years apart, but I’d swear they are twins! They are very close and are always playing with each other’s toys. I’ll find my boy (6) sitting at his sister’s vanity (4) playing dress up and then 5 minutes later they are playing with cars. I think at this age is just all about play, not boy vs. girl. Most of their pretend play centers around what they experience in real life, no matter what toys they use in their play. They often play school and house together.
I think getting some toy cars (they have bigger, softer ones so you don’t have to worry about the choking) and some more gender neutral toys would be great for Annie. I think cars are fun for all kids! I used to spend hours playing with Legos and my dad’s old matchbox cars.
Never under estimate the power of “other kids’ toys”. Another kid could have a box and it would be infinitely more fun that any of her toys.
Nanette says:
I made a special trip to Toys R Us to buy Em a car. Then Brent chastised me for buying the ONE pink car they had in stock. Oops.
Kim says:
With 1 boy and 2 girls, we have a mix of everything. And honestly, my kids ALL play with everything. It is not unheard of to have Legos, Transformers, Toy Story guys, Barbies, Ponies and babies all playing together.
I think that exposing kids to a mix of toys is a good thing. Just like it is good for boys to have baby dolls to learn to nurture, girls should have cars so they can learn how to change a flat tire
Michelle says:
my daughter has a blend of girl and boy toys. She loves her play kitchen and dress up, but also has a train table and loves cars and pirates and dinosaurs., and wont touch a baby doll. She also loves star wars and tinkerbell. They do sell ‘chunky’ style cars for younger children so you dont have to worry about small parts.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=4356095
Jannette says:
I would most definitely buy her boy toys. My 2 year old daughter loves playing with matchbox cars, big dump trucks, and tons of animal figurines. She also plays with dolls, kitchen sets etc. It just depends on the day.
Something I’ve learned from my first girl: Rotate the toys. Leave a few out and put the rest away. Then every two weeks put out new toys. It sounds wierd but for little ones: more is NOT better.
Melanie says:
My 20 month old girl has both gender toys and prefers cars and action figures over her dolls any day. In fact, her Toy Story toys are her favorite. She has toy story everything, so she has alot of blue, including bedding and clothing. I think you need to buy her some! I bought my son a boy doll and a kitchen set as well.
Amanda @ willful/joyful says:
When we let my 2 year old son pick out a couple toys with the birthday money from my in-laws he selected twin baby dolls and a toy chainsaw. Odd, but he loves all of them. He LOVES his babies and prefers them over any stuffed animal for his lovies. Growing up my sisters and I received many “boy” toys. Remote control dump trucks, rock tumblers, sporting goods, you name it. My dad always bought toys that he was interested in teaching us or helping us play with — a good choice because we played together and strengthened our relationship. It made it a lot easier to learn car maintenance and household repairs later on.
Priya says:
I do not understand how people can assign genders to colors and toys. It is shocking to me if I see a little boy reaching for a doll, and the parent tells them they can’t play with it because it is a “girl toy”. How does that even make sense?
If you want to teach your kids that they can be whoever/whatever they want to be then you should not restrict the toys that they play with based on gender stereotypes.
When I do have kids, I plan on monitoring the toys, but based on them being age appropriate, too violent, etc. And if they naturally gravitate toward a certain toy/game (ex: princess toys), then I would not discourage it…boy or girl. But I want to at least give them the choice.
Let’s just call them what they are, simply…toys!!!
Meyli says:
Yeah! More or less what I wanted to say
Chrisie says:
My daughter got a train table for her 3rd Xmas, she was just over 2 years old. She loves them! One pretty awesome thing you could get Annie right nowt hat would be safe for her are Wheel Pals. They come in 2 different sizes and a bunch of different varieties. They have the fire trucks and police cars for boys and they have animals. My daughter is 3.5 and she still loves them. They are big enough she can’t choke on them. She has some “boy” ones and some “girly” ones.
Here is a link
http://www.hasbro.com/shop/details.cfm?guid=6B2D7E40-19B9-F369-1025-581B89EAE88E&product_id=27109&src=endeca
They sell these sets , but then they also sell the Wheel Pals individually. You can find them at Target pretty easily. Amazon has alot of the “boy” ones.
Kris says:
I loved cars and trucks as a child and so my parents bought them for me. Hours of fun was had in the backyard building dirt tracks. I had dolls and enjoyed those too. I will admit as a teenager my dates may have found me in my tree house if they showed up a little early.
My son has a sister 4 years older. He enjoyed playing with her dolls and in her Little Tykes kitchen. I thought that was great, but when he started wearing her dress up high heels, well honestly I was a little nervous. Lol!
Meyli says:
I personally hate the idea of strict ‘girl’ and ‘boy’ toys. Toys are toys; whatever Annie has fun with is right for her Expose her to all sorts of things – she’ll grow up to be super well-rounded!
My boyfriend and I were playing with his old set of legos, and I realized I had no idea what to do with them. I haven’t got a creative or engineer-type bone in my body. And I think its at least partly due to the fact that my parents never encouraged me to BUILD stuff – play with blocks and legos and other building sets. Dolls, pretend kitchens, and dress up were what I got, and while I know I had tons of fun, I wish I’d at least been given the chance with other things.
Its great that you care about Annie’s toys and interests so much
Michelle S says:
We have one boy (7) and two girls (3) and (1). Because of the boy coming first we had all the “boy” toys…Thomas the train (everything), hot wheels, etc. When our first girl arrived we bought a few girl things but she was predominately surrounded by boy toys. She played with both until she was about 2.5 then it became all about princess and barbie stuff (I didn’t direct or encourage that in any way) but secretly I’m enjoying it so much.
While our son doesn’t play with dolls he loves “stuffies” and has lots in his room. He has also been know to sit with his little sister and play with her at the dollhouse she got for Christmas (but he would of course never admit it).
Our littlest is too little to really have a preference so she just plays with whatever is closest to her at the time. But I honestly don’t care what she decides to play with. She will have her choice of either .
Kristi says:
My daughter has a ton of girl-oriented toys but we’ve also thrown in cars, a Mega blocks dump and load wagon etc. She really loves all these toys equally. Plus, I’ve tried to buy her some gender neutral toys like a riding toy that a boy or girl could play with in case our next baby is a boy.
I also went as far as buying a kitchen that had red curtains and details rather than pink and pastel in case we have a boy. I read reviews about this kitchen where moms shared that their sons played with this kitchen because it was boy-friendly and didn’t feel girly.
I saw a little boy in church over the weekend who had a purple doll with hearts that he was holding tightly to. Clearly, he loved that doll. So, I think boys are getting exposed to “girl” toys, too.
Kira says:
I have 3 boys and we have baby dolls, a toy kitchen, shopping cart, & dress up that includes my old prom dress & necklaces among the batman & spiderman costumes. I say, why not? If it makes them happy, let them play with it!
Darla says:
Hi Heather! I have 2 boys ages 7 & 4 and when I was potty training them I bought them each a baby doll geared towards working on that. 2 years ago my in-laws bought them a kitchen set and they LOVE it!! I don’t think there is anything wrong with giving boys and girls non-gender specific toys at all. More power to Annie!!
Christina says:
Reading some of these posts is so hard for me. I wish the “boy things” and “girl things” commentary would just fade away already! Grilling being more of a guy thing and girls and all the pink and even saying guys make better friends! Yikes! It hurts my head and my heart. We all look at the world through our own colored lens, however, so live and let live, right?
The lens I think is best to look through in this case is the developmental one. Play is SO IMPORTANT! It promotes so much learning. Just think about that. What will best promote her motor skills, nurturing skills, problem solving skills and stimulate her senses while at the same time entertaining her and making her smile? Children may have their own natural preferences, but then also there will be plenty of interests that will be encouraged or enhanced or even completely formed by others. Someone in these comments mentioned models of play. That is a very good point. Sometimes we have to teach play. As parents we mode/teach play and reinforce the behaviors in very subtle but impactful ways. And of course we naturally model and reinforce our own preferences or simply what we think is cute. Which is fine as long as we aren’t too narrow in that or as long as we pick up the cues on when to adjust our behavior (i.e. what Heather is doing in her assessment of the toys Annie was exposed to). I say, just stay open like you are and you will serve Annie well! The opposite of that really sucks. This is coming from a girl whose mother pushed her own preferences on me as a girl. It took me rebelling too far in the opposite direction to find my own balance of who I want to be. And my mom still buys me things for Christmas that are what SHE wants vs. what I want. Sigh. I am sure that you, Heather and Mike, will not be that way. You guys just seem like spectacular, smart and loving parents to me!
Angela says:
I’m a Pre-k teacher so we are all about the toys. I once got a parent who was so upset that his son was playing in our pretend center (which is set up like a home) all the time-pretending to cook, clean, and care for babies. He said that I should encourage him to play cars or blocks with the boys. Even though I wanted to slap him, I explained to him that pretend play is crucial to a child’s development because they can learn how to be someone else or empathize with what they do. I also told him that playing in there doesn’t mean anything other than that he likes to play and pretend. What I saw was someone who is going to be a great daddy or hubby someday, or maybe even a chef. He calmed down after that and I suggested he let him just be a kid, cause they have to grow up way too fast these days. Even though toy companies gear certain toys to boys or girls by the color, I think it’s important that we don’t do the Sam and just let them play
erin says:
I have 3 girls (5, 3, and due in May). I went crazy with all of the pink and purple stuff with our first. When she was about 1, my Mother-In-Law dragged my husband’s Matchbox cars out of the closet. My daughter fell in love with them instantly, much to my husband’s delight. He was beginning to despise the princesses, tutus and stuffed animals. So he decided to introduce her (and now “the sisters”) to super heroes. They love them. My 3 year old loves the Incredible Hulk (Super Hero Squad and Lou Ferigno- downside being that it’s not easy to find little girl underwear with the Hulk!). The five year old is an Xmen fan.
Basically, if Annie likes the “boy” toys, go for it!
Sparkles + trucks/heroes/etc= coolest girls ever!
Melissa says:
I have two boys who love all things boy…I never set out to specifically purchase “boy” toys for them, but that is what they both seem to gravitate towards – not sure if it’s nature, nurture, or a combination of both. Both kids – my older son in particular – love playing with anything they can get their hands on. They are exposed to both “girl” and “boy” toys at day care (younger one) and at school (older one). I pick up my older child in the afternoons and frequently find him wearing fairy wings and running around with the girls – but I also see him on the Playmobile pirate ship work as well. At his school (a Montessori school), they encourage the students to play with whatever they would like without gender bias – even in the afternoons where they don’t have lessons (at his age, which is 4). He has started to say things like “Pink is for girls” or “the dolls are for girls,” but he will still play with those “girl” toys if he is exposed to them. However, he does not request that I purchase them….we’re always looking at planes and trains…
Rebecca says:
We started out with mostly gender neutral toys. Blocks………lots of blocks. Then we moved on to gender toys…..but for the most part, my daughter will play with boy toys, but is most definitely a princess kinda girl when it comes to playthings.
My son…..loves EVERYTHING. He goes in his sisters room to play with her toys as much as he plays with cars and trains in his room.
Michelle says:
As the mother of a 21 month old boy, I do worry about this. Sure, Jack has tons of cars, trucks, balls, tools, and other “boy” toys, but he also has a baby doll, a cooking pot toy, and other things. He loves the play kitchen at his cousin’s house so much that we are thinking about getting him one for his 2nd birthday in May. I think that Annie would love cars and those stereotypical “boy” toys just as much as her girl stuff!!
Kathryn in Berlin says:
I have a boy and a girl, so we’ve always had boy & girl toys around the house. My son really doesn’t bother with the “girl” stuff too much, but my daughter loves playing with the cars too, especially the carpark garage where the cars can go down the ramp and they both have loved playing with Duplos/Legos.
nel says:
Hi Heather – delurking to say, buy her some boy toys! I think of it this way – it can’t hurt right? Worst thing that happens is she doesn’t play with them as much.
I’m going to echo some others regarding legos and (later in life) k’nex. They’re *great* for spatial awareness. I always put my brother’s stuff together and years later I’m still hearing, “Wow, you’re really good at this…for a girl.” Especially when I’m putting together pieces of furniture or using power tools. (I own tools…many a manly mind has been blown by this fact)
There are a lot of boy toys that teach very practical things that come in handy later in life (girls too – babies, cooking, etc) and I’m glad to have been introduced to them at such a young age. Even if she doesn’t pursue it, the basic knowledge is still there. Tool sets, cars that I could take apart, legos…why not let her try both sides?
(ps: Love love love your blog. You really can’t go wrong given how much thought and effort you put into giving her whatever is best. I know she will be happy with whatever you get her!)
Amy says:
Well, we have 3 boys and a girl, so we have both, but I can tell you that the boys LOVE the toy kitchen, toy vacuum, etc. Molly plays with cars, soccer balls, superheroes, etc. She has a pink monster truck that is called “Scarlet Bandit” so that she can play with the guys, and just a couple of days ago, was very disgruntled that her brothers had nerf guns that shoot rockets and she didn’t get one. So yes, I think it’s good to branch out every once in a while (though I think mostly she wants the nerf gun for protection purposes).
Amelia says:
My daughter’s almost 2 year old boy cousin does have a baby doll, they were at the store, he wanted it, and absolutely loved playing with it ever since. On the flip side, while walking through a thrift store, I expected to encounter problems with my 18 month old grabbing everything in sight when we went by the baby doll/stuffed animal section. She was completely indifferent until we got to the remote control cars which enthralled her, and this is a girl who LOVES her princesses. She tries to wear her princess pjs day and night, as much as I’ll let her. I say buy a couple cars, everyone will be happy!
Maile says:
I bought a fire truck, airplane and a t-ball set for my 2 year old. She loves them all, but still runs around in her Ariel heels with necklaces and a princess wand most of the day. She did just tell me yesterday she wants a basket so she can play basketball with her pink princess ball. She loves her building blocks too, but of course the only thing she builds is castles for princess aurora… She is exposed to everything, but is clearly very girly by choice (my husband tried to dress her this morning and she started crying because he wasn’t putting her in a dress)
Liz says:
We have two boys and we do have a doll or two around the house, as well as a little kitchen set, an extensive fake food collection, pots, pans etc. (I doubt they would see this as girl stuff as Dad does all the cooking!)
They’ve never been too interested in any of it. From the time they were infants, they have been all about trucks, cars and other boy stuff. My 14 month indicates that he wants to look at the same book about trucks over and over.
I’m a life-long feminist and would have argued that this stuff was culturally learned before I had my boys. Now I have to admit that sometimes some of this stuff is hardwired.
I say give Annie full truck access now before she gets old enough to notice that she “should” be playing with dolls!
Kona says:
This is something that, as a mother of a two-year-old boy, I’ve given a lot of thought to. I remember the first time I had to buy a little girl a birthday present, and was overwhelmed by not only the prevalence of pink and purple in the girls’ section of the toy store, but by how much of it focused on domestic duties. I didn’t want to buy my son cars and buy this little girl a fake iron – so I ended up in the gender-neutral Crayola section.
That’s not to say that girls shouldn’t play with fake irons or the like, I just have a problem with it being marketed solely to girls. My son got a play kitchen for Christmas, and he loves it. He’s constantly “making me coffee,” but he’s obsessed with trucks as well.
The point is, kids don’t understand gender roles. They have a wide variety of interests, so as a parent, it’s important to let them explore those interests. Maybe Annie will ultimately choose her dolls over cars. Maybe she won’t – but she’ll have fun playing with everything.
Melissa says:
I bought my son a kitchen set last Christmas when he was 1 1 /2 years old, because he loved his (female) friend’s kitchen, and he is now 2 1/2 and still plays with it! It’s funny, because I definitely do not buy him other female-skewed toys like dolls and such, and he is definitely into his cars, trains, dinosaurs and pretty much has no interest in his female friends’ dolls and stuff, but he still LOVES to put on mommy’s high heels and necklaces and click down our wood floor hallway, it is adorable! While my husband cringes, I love that he feels comfortable in doing whatever he wants to do when doing exploration play, as long as it is safe of course!
Heidi says:
I was fortunate to have both a girl and a boy and they are only 20 months apart. My daugher, despite my urging, is NOT a nurturing type and never liked dolls or even stuffed animals a lot. In fact, she asked for and had a Buzz Lightyear birthday party for her 3rd birthday. It was a good thing that she had a lot of cars and trucks and “boy” toys to play with because of her little brother. On the flip side, my son, is VERY nurturing. He’s the one that tucks his stuffed animals in carefully, feeds them and gives them kisses and drives them around in the stroller (my daughter pretty much never used except to push her little brother around in). My son has a doll and does play with it too, but usually does more with his animals.
When my daughter finally discovered princesses (at around 4) I was so happy to indulge her with princess outfits and high heals. Of course, her brother also discovered them and loved to wear them too!!! My husband used to hang his head (in JEST) when he’d see Tristan clomping around in Snow White high heels and a princess dress and tiara. I’ve got some priceless pictures to use at his wedding of those moments.
But even to this day, my daughter doesn’t get into the typical girl toys. No Polly Pockets. No Littlest Pet Shop. No American Girl dolls. Sometime it makes me a bit sad because *I* would love some of those things, but I like that she’s her own little person. Her brother, on the other hand, would probably love some Littlest Pet Shops except that they are considered “girl toys” now.
Now both of them have and still do use our little play kitchen and Legos are a great gender neutral toy they both love too.
Definitely get Annie some cars and trucks and even some trains. They are just fun!
Sonia says:
I’ve got 2 boys, and we have the usual mix of trains, legos, and lincoln logs. But they love their dress up box (nothing elaborate), the tea set, and they have enough stuffed animals between them to open their own plush zoo, and they play with them all the time. The little one’s favorite color (for now) is pink. He also plays with the kitchen set and the baby dolls at daycare. I keep meaning to get out my old dolls for him to play with, but I haven’t done it yet. I think he’d love them, and I will do that this week!
I HATE that toys are geared to one gender or the other, often reinforcing gender norms that don’t do women any favors. I think all kids should have a selection of toys that encourage free play: dolls, blocks/legos, trains, kitchens.
Katie says:
Heather,
I donot feel that cars and airplanes are just for boys stuff. Mommy drives a car and mommy also flies in an airplane. So let her have cars and airplanes. My girl plays with cars. She pretends that she is going grocery shopping in the cars and also to her “work”. She also has a space ship and loves to learn about astronauts. She is just 3. I agree that every child is different but we do need to expose them to different types of toys.
I am an engineer and work on buildings and bridges. She loves asking me about construction projects and knows about diggers, haul trucks etc. And , she also has dolls and plays with them very day too.
Amelia says:
My son is in daycare, so he is exposed to girl stuff as well as boy stuff. I have picked him up at daycare and found him playing with the kitchen set (which I figure is fantastic, as I hope to teach him his way around someday), dressed up as a princess, and loving a baby doll, as well as playing with trucks and tractors, dinosaurs, and farm animals. Lots of exposure is good.
Sam says:
As a girl whose dad didn’t want her growing up in a gender role, I was prioritized boy toys and cartoons. GI JOE, He-Man (and She-Ra, of course), anything really. I had one Barbie (Peaches & Cream) which I begged for but was then rather bored by as she didn’t have any cool toys. So I grew up into a woman who likes action movies BUT I also have a love of things that are girly. My favorite color is pink, I have 6 or 7 Barbies (that I bought as an adult AND PLAYED WITH) and I love glitter.
I would say you should pick out toys the way an adult picks toys for themselves: take Annie to the store and let her roam around the toy section picking which ones she likes. At this age, she doesn’t know there’s a difference, and later on she’ll be more well-rounded for not having been shoehorned into an outdated concept of what ‘feminine’ should be.
Marin D says:
I have two little girls (ages four and two). We have both “boy” and “girl” toys for them. They love playing with cars, legos, action figures, etc. They get plenty of boy exposure from their five boy cousins. They love a little bit of everything. I also try to have some boy stuff for when the boys come over. LOL. I think boys should have exposure to dolls and kitchens though. They need to know how to be dads just as much as a girl needs to know how to be a mom. It is good to mix it up a little I think.
DKM says:
I have 3 sons and my oldest boy was always into the “boy” stuff – he had trucks, balls, legos, cars etc. My middle child was always drawn to the kitchen and dolls – maybe b\c we already had the boy stuff covered? He’s 2 and for Christmas, he got 2 baby dolls, a shopping cart, and pretend food and he loved it all! His older brother (6 yrs old) also really enjoyed playing with the dolls and the food. My youngest is on 3 weeks, so we’ll see where his interests take us, especially given that we already have it all in the house!
I say give her a chance to play with both and see what she likes. What is not to like about a toy train? I had an older brother myself when I was younger, so always had the opportunity to play with the boy toys along with the girl toys…
lissa says:
We have one girl and one boy. I – personally- don’t mind if the boy plays with girl stuff or the girl plays with boy stuff. In the end, it’s all toys ! As long as they are having fun, that’s all I really care about. Now go tell Mike to run out and gets some cars =]
Julie says:
My 3 boys have a baby doll, stroller, and kitchen set. They liked them more as toddlers. Two out of the three boys are more into trucks and trains, the third more into art, but each of them still enjoys playing kitchen/restaurant, and the little one still likes the doll and stroller. When I first had my twin boys, I worried about the gender/toy issue a lot (wanted to expose them to different kinds of toys), but with my 3rd it’s an anything goes type of situation. They have a range of toys, and whatever they like to play with most is up to them. We are now getting to school age, which means girls are telling the twins, at school, that they can’t play with a tea set or whatever. This does cause some confusion for the boys, who have had “girl toys” at their disposal at home but did not know that they were thought to be just for girls. I just tell them that kids can play with whatever they want, regardless of whether they’re boys or girls. We’ll see how it goes as they get older.
Iowamom says:
I think kids find other kids’ toys way more interesting! I would, however, get her some cars or trucks because they are fun to push around. Also, a small football, basketball, or even tennis balls around the house are great for coordination! Our daughter often played with her older and younger brother’s toys because they were including her. She’s still a true girly-girl and loves her dolls, stickers, and play make-up but feels totally comfortable shooting hoops with her brothers.
I say go for it and takes some pictures of Annie and her new toys!
Heidi says:
My kids, now 16 and 21, were night and day with gender toys. My daughter was not into “girl toys” at all. Ignored dolls, tossed them to the side, the whole nine. She preferred animals – plastic, stuffed, etc. She did enjoy a toy kitchen but that’s as gender specific as she ever got. Most of her play was creating scenes with animals…and drawing. Drawing, drawing, oh and? Drawing.
My son, however, was boy. B-O-Y. Trucks, construction equipment, trains, planes, Hotwheels, “manly job toys (like firefighters, etc)…all of it.
I guess what I’m saying is, I supplied a bit of everything and they chose their preferences. We let them lead from there.
momof2 says:
I am SO HEARTENED by the majority of comments here. I wish boy and girl toy sections would go away entirely! At first my 3 yr old daughter only received traditional girl toys like baby dolls and dress up stuff. But she quickly made her preferences known–she’s an engineer at heart. She loves her cars and trains and Legos and couldn’t be bothered by her dolls and stuffed animals. Last Christmas she only asked for figures from the movie Cars and more trains for her Thomas the Tank Engine collection. Thank goodness we had a ton of different toys already from my son, or I’m not sure we would have discovered her preferences as soon as we did. Our neighbor who has three girls has a much more limited (gender-wise) toy collection and her middle daughter loves to come to our house to play with all the moving vehicles. Of course we bought her Legos and a book about fire engines for her birthday!
Each child is such an individual. How can parents presume to choose for their kids based on what the stores and toy industry are trying to market to us? Why the heck is there only one color scheme in the “girls” section: pink and purple? My daughter says her favorite colors are blue, red and green, in that order. I can’t find even find clothes that she’ll wear because apparently girls just don’t wear green?!?! My son when he was small preferred pink–and that was a challenge too.
You are absolutely right to question Heather. And think of it this way too–why aren’t we promoting more science and engineering toys to girls? The world is increasingly technological. At Pottery Barn kids, a store infamous for its boy and girl divisions, on the girls’ side you’ll only find toys and books about fairies and the like (um, when was the last time you saw a job posting for a fairy coordinator?) and books and toys about space for the boys. Do we want to steer our girls to career service industry jobs which pay much lower than professions in biotech, computers, medicine, sciences, finance? A starting programmer at Google earns almost $100,000–a receptionist $24,000!
So I say bring out the Knex and the Legos and toy tool sets and let Annie go wild!
Emily says:
I have two boys and we bought them a play kitchen. They also have a baby stroller and a couple of dolls, although it’s usually stuffed animals rather than babies that get rides in it. They also enjoy playing “magic wand”, usually with un-sharpened pencils. I won’t buy them Barbies but they have totally played with them at friends’ houses! Get her a few trucks or cars, maybe a little basketball set…it’ll do her good!
Jennifer says:
My daughter always, always had pink toys and girl toys. Dolls, barbies, kitchen stuff, crafts, etc. You name it – it was definitely geared toward her being a girl. Even the blocks we bought her were pink and purple.
Now that she’s old enough to choose toys, we find that even though she was only subjected to pretty girly things for her first few years, she still has an interest in toys generally geared toward boys. For example, at a playdate at her boy friend’s house, she LOVED the tool set. So, we bought her a fun Handy Manny tool set and she loves it! We’ve bought my infant son some cars and such and she loves those as well.
Just because you only get her “girly” toys doesn’t mean you are conditioning her to only like those kind of toys. She’s little – once she’s older she’ll tell you what she does and doesn’t want and it’s not going to matter what she played with when she was younger. You are doing great! Enjoy getting to pick out her toys – you may not like the ones she wants to play with when she’s older
Rebecca says:
I bought my 3 year old grandson a toy kitchen for Christmas when he was 2 and he still plays with it today. He loves it. My kids bought him a baby doll one year to play with which he did but just for a short period of time. He’s pretty much a little boy now and loves all things cars and trains except that his favorite color is pink. We all figure whatever floats his boat!!
Heather says:
Fisher Price sells pink versions of their school bus and airplane and a purple minivan! (They might even be offering the pink recycling truck too but I’m not sure) You can have the best of both worlds! My 2 year old daugther is CONSTANTLY “vrroooming” her plane around the house , while wearing her pretty necklaces and princess shoes too. Check them out…… Its win-win for you AND Mike. Annie will like them too.
Sara says:
My daughter has her “girl” toys (snuggly lamb, cute puppy dog), but also loves “boy” toys (blocks, hot wheels/matchbox cars, dinosaurs). Frankly, she loves them both equally and it truly just depends on her mood. I say let Annie give the “boy” toys a try.
kris (lower case) says:
when connor was young he had a kitchen set. he ‘cooked’ on it. he had stuffed animals but whether or not he had dolls as such i do not remember. and let’s not even pretend it is not much more acceptable for girls to play with cars and trucks than for boys to play with dolls or makeup or whatever. w can all pretend that isn’t true anymore…but really. reality check!!
Samantha says:
It was most likely just that the toys were “new”. However, hot wheels are only a buck so go buy 10 of them. If she loves them longer than a week then you know you an start buying that stuff. If she is over them fast you’re only out 10 bucks and you have some “boy toys” for when boys come to play. I do have a friend who’s daughter is a total girly girl but has TONS of cars and plays with them alllllll the time. Ya never know.
Jessica says:
I have a 2 year old and he loves kitchen set and dishes. I just bought him a tea set (circus design) and he likes to drink “hot tea” with me. He also has a stroller and a purse. His daddy is none too pleased but Jacob likes to play with them and no one is going to tell me it’s not ok. I’d say get Annie some cars but don’t be surprised if they are more for Mike!
CorningNY says:
I would say absolutely expose Annabel to the so-called “boy” toys! My two sons (now 23 and 25) both played with a toy kitchen set, and my younger son asked for–and got from me–a Cabbage Patch doll with hair he could style. One of the cutest pictures of him is when he was a about two, holding a toy broom and dustpan and wearing an apron! And now he cooks and cleans for himself. Definitely give Annabel trucks and construction toys and science kits–how do you know otherwise if she’s the next Marie Curie or Frank Lloyd Wright if she’s never exposed to those things?
Monica says:
I noticed when we visited my daughters’ boy cousins how much fun they, too, had playing with the “boy” toys. In fact they LOVED playing with the cars and trains and action figures. It got me thinking along the same lines as you, why do I only buy girl toys?So on our way home we stopped at TRU and I bought a “cute” dinosaur set Cute meaning they weren’t too scary looking for my girls. LOL! The do make a lot of toys that are created more for males but are pink. I am thinking my daughters now need a little pink John Deere tractor
Issa says:
Ha. Actually I have a very cool toddler kitchen in my house. It’s my son’s. Bought just for him, as I’d gotten rid of the one the girls had before he was born. However, in general he throws dolls and such things aside. Ignores them. Couldn’t care less. He’s a big car/truck/plane type of boy.
I guess maybe you buy her some cars and trucks. Give her the chance to have it all. She’ll make what she wants known really quick.
Issa says:
Oh I guess I should add, he adored the kitchen. So you just never know.
Laurie says:
We have both for my daughter, and her love for certain toys doesn’t seem to have much correlation to whether they are “girl” or “boy” toys. She loves her kitchen, but since my husband does most of the cooking in our house, I don’t know if she’d see that as a “girl” thing. She loves dolls, but also loves cars. In my humble opinion, I think providing a balance is best, and once kids start showing a preference, it is important to support and encourage her interests while letting her know that there are always lots of options available. In my little bit of experience with kids, I feel like they are constantly changing and experimenting with their identities, and I would hate to box her in too quickly.
Jessalee says:
My son had a boy baby doll, and he loved it. He also carried a pillow around and pretended it was a purse all the time when he was 2. That and my heels.
Both my daughter (6) and my son (8) play with the kitchen set and other commonly gender-specific toys interchangeably, so I don’t worry about either one.
I did get a laugh the other night at the dinner table when my daughter was talking about all the ways she’s a tomboy and ways she’s not (she climbs trees, plays Star Wars and Harry Potter, likes sports versus dolls, make-up, clothes, jewelry). My son chimed in that even when they’re playing “make believe” he never minds being the mom or a girl role, which obviously makes him a “tom girl” in a way. I laughed and said that just shows they both know how to appreciate all sorts of things and just made them their own unique people.
Like others said, it’s balance!
Julia says:
my oldest son got a playschool kitchen and a cabbage patch doll for his 2nd Christmas — it did not occur to me that it was strange until I heard reactions from other parents — this was 23 years ago so times were different. I was an only girl with 3 brothers and 5 boy cousins — I grew up with Lincoln logs and trucks so I guess I thought toys were gender free.
Michele says:
My son loves his kitchen set and vacuum cleaner. He doesn’t have any dolls though, and has never been interested in them at friend’s houses.
Michael says:
I bought my son a kitchen well before his sister came around. He loved it at 1 and now at 5 he’s still a fan! My daughter (who is obviously younger) has had her fair share of boy toys and loves them, but she’ll play babies or princesses, too.
I have a great picture of her wearing my high heel boots, no pants, dueling her brother with a star wars lightsaber. I also have pictures of him wearing a princess dress. It’s all fabulous.
Kristin says:
My son had both a baby doll and a kitchen set! Let him buy her the toys!
Rachael says:
My son is 4.5 years old. He does have mostly boy toys – he loves cars and trains and action figures. He also has a dollhouse, a baby doll, and Strawberry Shortcake DVDs. I pay attention to what he plays with at other people’s houses etc and ask him what toys he wants. I love that he likes Iron Man AND Tinkerbell!
Amanda says:
I so love having some dark blues, blacks and greens in the sea of sparkley pinks and lavenders. I never force anything, but any toys that don’t fall into the Bratz or heavy artillery categories are a-ok!
KarenMac says:
I have 2 boys. I got a kitchen set for when the oldest was barely a year old. Both boys love to play with it….not as much as the trucks and tractors….but they still play with it. I made them chefs hats and we occasionally play restaurant. They also have a doll and I occasionally see it lugged around in a dump truck. I’ve found that Lego is one of those toys that doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl, kids love to play with it. I started with the large Lego and have slowly worked down in size as the boys got older. And my niece will happily play with it when she visits.
And sometimes, a box is more fun than anything else!
Becky H says:
I have three boys and they had a baby doll, doll stroller, kitchen, and Little People doll house. My middle even wore dress up high heels for awhile. Granted they used the stroller to push their cars, usually pretended the kitchen was for boiling monsters, and put the people head first into the toilet in the doll house…..but at least we tried.
katekatekate says:
My kid is nearly 1 and has mostly gender neutral toys. Musical things, teddies, basic stuff.
For her birthday I have bought her a doll just to see how it goes and if she likes it i am getting her a dolls pram. She is also getting a rocking dinosaur and a ball pool.
Her bedroom is orange/yellow jungle themed but her clothes are relatively girly (although leggings not dresses, she is active)
I dunno I just go with the flow really! And Im not girly so I didnt want a pink nursery.
All of her stuff which had pink/blue options (travel cot, highchair, sippy cup) are blue. Just incase I have a boy next. Makes sense to me.
Angela says:
Well, in my case I had a son first. We got all the “boy” gifts and brightly colored neutral baby stuff too. When he was about a year old we visited a friend and my son who never sat still was so lost in the wonder of a play kitchen. My husband, naturally said he is a boy….wtf boys use kitchens too! That week I just happened to stumble across(seek out for hours) a garage sale and purchased a kitchen set for like $20 and then also to pour salt in the wound of my Mr. Cleaver husband I got a little tikes vacuum for $2.00. This toy, three kids and 11 years later is the most played with up until age four. It happens to be loud and annoying as well. All of this said, my first son is as “boy” typical as you can get. I had a daughter next and bought every possible girl thing and she loves it all…..she wouldn’t play with a car or gun if you paid her in glitter press on nails. My third child is a boy who I’m certain is gay. I mean certain as in I will be shocked if he isn’t and it helps having a gay male bestie as a perfect role model if my mommy instinct is right. That said, he loves all things girly and some boy stuff too….I have hundred of pics of his sister and him all dressed up and I always just let him do and play with what he wants. I support his choices and don’t lead. My fourth child who is 3 1/2 I wondered if he would be more into sports like Andrew or more variety like Tyler….he totally is into neither. He collects dinosaurs and already can determine herbivores and carnivores. He is a total freak. It is really funny to see what each kid likes. As a mom of girls, you are only doing what comes naturally. As she gets older you can take her to a consignment shop or toy store and see where her curiosity leads her. I’m sure she’d prefer toys in the category of …laptops, cell phones, keys and anything else that you wouldn’t buy at a toy shop!
KimPossible says:
Great thought provoking post Heather!
I am the mom to one boy who is 4 and I definitely think about this issue. In fact, I always assumed moms of girls perhaps had it a bit easier in that it would be more acceptable for a girl to have a car or a truck or something deemed as a traditional boy toy than it would be for a boy to go around playing with a doll.
Since my son started pre-K he has been exposed to a lot more traditional girl toys and activities (dolls, dress up center, kitchen play) and loves it. And I love it too, I think it makes him more well-rounded. I’ve noticed him being gentler with his stuffed animals, tucking them into bed, etc… and it makes my heart melt. It’s hard not to automatically stereotype by gender but trying to be open minded about it all is certainly the right approach.
Mindy says:
I had a boy first (and then a girl) and I bought him a kitchen set and a doll and doll stroller. My husband was kind of going “oh no” at first. But once my son walked over and put all his cars in his stroller and started pushing them around the room, he thought it was ok. I should say that my husband would have no problems with him playing with his “baby”, whatever makes our kids happy.
Christine says:
Someone may have already mentioned this but yesterday on Oprah, Lisa Ling was talking about something very similar. They talked to a family who raised their children “gender neutral” only to find out that their son preferred everything girly and pink. Oprah called them forward thinking and amazing parents for allowing their children to be who they are. Who says that because your child has a vagina, they have to like dolls over cars? Let Annie play with whatever toys she finds interesting.
KateB says:
Two boys over here and they LOVE their kitchen set. My youngest sleeps with “Boy Boy” (the anatomically correct doll my Mother-in-Law bought my oldest when we found out I was having a 2nd boy) every night. He even has a special bed for him and blankets and has to set him up just right before sleeping.
I say buy the cars…just skip the trains. They are expensive and so BORING!!!
Love to Miss Annie from her biggest STL fans, Ryan and Charlie!
Lynnette says:
Because Daddy is such a car nut, before our first was born (we didn’t find out the gender) we told everyone that even if it is a girl, this baby will play with cars. She is a very girly girl of 5 now and she is all about pink, princesses, royalty… and dinosaurs. Our 10-month-old daughter loves playing with her baby-safe bug cars (rubber cars in the shapes of bugs). Both have been given lots of cars as well as dolls and both love it all. I think Annie (and Mike) need a few cars to play with together. The junior grade Tonka cars are great for little ones with fat bodies and wide tires that don’t come off easily. Balls are also very fun for the little ones. In our church nursery, it is the balls that every child fights for, including the girls. Have fun with the new variety Annie!
Marguerite says:
Hi Heather-I have 5 kids, 12yo girl,9yo boy,6yo girl,3yo girl and 18 month girl. You would think with the girl to boy ratio it would be Barbie Palooza at our house-however our oldest girl loved matchboxes and our only son sleeps with my old cabbage patch kid. They all play with a variety-even the six year old princess has been known to put Ariel on the Millenium Falcon. It can’t hurt getting your daughter some cars and things-when she outgrows them you can donate them. Hope that was helpful:)
Liz says:
I have 2 boys. At a playgroup I go to they LOVE the play kitchen, and I mean LOVE. So silly me MADE them one. (and it was AWESOME, I also spent a small fortune on playfood and pots and pans) And guess what. They played with it once!!! I am still so upset! (I made it for nothing, I used old nightstands, but still!) Now it lives in the garage, waiting to be thrown out. =(
Bec says:
Buy her some cars. We bought my son a shopping cart and “groceries” when he was two. He loved it. He is obsessed with trucks and cars of course, but it was nice to change it up a bit.
Nicole says:
I am a mom of a son and I do worry about such things. Jackson has a few Barbie dolls, an abundance of my old baby dolls, my old dollhouse, Littlest Pet Shop animals, and Polly Pockets, in addition to the typical “boy” toys. He also has a dress-up box, complete with a couple of dresses, etc. He has always shown an interest in feminine items as well as masculine ones. Some family and friends are uncomfortable with this, but why wouldn’t I give my son the things I know he will enjoy?
Melissa says:
When Ryan was about a year old, we bought him a play kitchen because he loved one that he played with at a friends house. We were at another friend’s daughter 1st birthday and the dad made a comment to my husband about his son playing with a kitchen. I was so proud when my husband said something along the lines of – he has one at home. Ryan also wanted a baby doll and it took a few weeks to find one that didn’t have a pink outfit on. He carried it around for awhile and then he gave it to his sister. My daughter being a 2nd child has always played with boy toys and to be honest didn’t have many of her own girly toys until she turned 2.
Rachel says:
My son is only a few weeks older than Annie and he received a pink singing tea set and a small cabbage patch doll for his first birthday. He loves to pour tea (it’s genetic–his father is British!!) and as soon opened the doll he was kissing her through the packaging. He carries the baby doll around regularly. Are they the only things he plays with? No. He loves megablocks and cars too. But they capture his gnatlike attention-span as well as any “boy toys” and foster his imagination too. Plus, I think it’s great roleplaying. After all, he has a daddy who loves to cook and play with is baby too.
Stacey says:
My boys have a kitchen set which they use daily and a toy vacuum they use when we clean. When I was young I had a race track set that I LOVED.
While I wouldn’t think to pick up a Barbie for the boys there r a couple girlish toys we can’t live with out.
Cassie says:
Don’t sweat it mama! Your an awesome parent and I’m sure Annie has plenty of exposure. I have a little boy and he lOves his kitchen set, dress up corner, etc. But he loves balls and trucks too. And honestly whenever I am buying or making his toys, I usually just go for what appeals to me, regardless of what gender it’s geared towards. Little ones have no idea about male/female social roles, so why should we pressure them into one, right? I say whatever Annie likes, just go with it.
love ur blog, keep telling your story.
Nicole says:
I definitely think that you should expose your child to more “masculine” toys to encourage her imagination to grow. As a child, I found all my girlie toys enjoyable for a while, but I always loved boyish toys like model cars and gender neutral toys like K’NEX and Legos!! In fact, I always made entire worlds for my dolls and stuffed animals. I also loved to play with paper, markers, and Scotch tape.
I think that exposing Annie to these toys is a great way to give her options. I find girlish toys to be quite boring and sexist — I mean, why should I be introduced to cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing as a child myself when boys’ toys tend to be more creative and fun? Totally unfair!
Let her decide when she’s a little older what kind of toys she likes best, but I bet you she’ll appreciate puzzles and those Lego sets that will encourage her to create her own toys!
Kelsey says:
I have one boy and one girl and they love to play with each other’s toys. My son is about to turn three and all he wants for his birthday is a purse! (Because his six-year-old sister doesn’t like to share.)
However – I kind of talked my daughter out of a blue backpack with a basketball on it, in favor of a pink toned one with a butterfly. I worried that she would regret the basketball decision but I think that was a bad parenting move – I should have let her have her pick. I do in most things, don’t know why I had such a hard time getting her a “boy” backpack.
Erin says:
I have a 7 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. I certainly did buy my son a baby doll (a boy one) and a pretend kitchen! He is all boy and my daughter is all girl but I think it’s great to let them play with whatever they want!! They will figure out for themselves if its for them or not, not if its for a boy or girl!
Emily says:
My son is seventeen months old (today, actually!), and while most of his toys are of the boy variety (blocks, balls, cars/trucks, tool sets etc.) he does have some “girly” things that he loves (like the many fuzzy stuffed animals he likes to snuggle with … he also fell in love with his cousin’s princess wand while on vacation over the summer).
The husband and I have gotten into INTENSE debates over if a baby doll is in our son’s future … The husband is very much against it (even though he had a baby doll when he was young and obviously turned out just fine), but I’m working on him. I think it’s good for a kid to be exposed to as much as possible so that they can learn and ultimately create their own preferences.
Bella says:
As an only child (and a girl) I never had my own boy toys.
I LOVED playing with my neighbor boy’s hot wheels cars and especially loved setting up the race tracks. At home I rigged up Rube Goldberg contraptions until my parents insisted I take them down. I mixed a variety of household chemicals with the goal of creating mini-explosions (luckily I was unsuccessful).
Now I am a mechanical engineer and I understand my how my youthful innovative curiosity helped shape my career path.
I have a son and daughter and they each played with all the toys. My son loved the toy kitchen and my daughter enjoyed Lego’s and cars. The best toys were the “new-to-me” ones.
Maybe find a playgroup where toys can be traded around?
Kayla says:
Not sure it’s been mentioned yet as I haven’t (nor will) sort through over two hundred comments, (yowza!) but –
I’ve actually heard of a lot of parents in the past few years buying play kitchen sets and baby dolls for their sons. And why not? There are plenty of male chefs and mannies. (;
But more so, don’t we want to teach our boys the ins and outs of cooking so in the future, their wives won’t be breaking their back every single night in the kitchen by themselves? Don’t we want to teach our boys to be gentle, kind, loving and nurturing towards baby dolls to cultivate a sense of gentleness and love?
Anywho, thanks for reading my novel! I should be going on tour some time soon. :p
amy says:
When my twin daughters were two I bought them a fisher price type multi-level garage type toy.. (Elevator to top, slide down..) They LOVED it. As they did most of their older brothers things..
Son had his share of stuffies, a tea set, and a Woody doll he got the day the girls were born. All big hits.
Jenn says:
Hey Heather,
I have a boy, girl, boy so together, we have a TON of different toys for both genders. When I became pregnant with my daughter, I bought my then nearly 2 yr old son a toy – his own “baby”. He didn’t touch it! However, when my daughter was old enough, she would play with her brothers toys. My 2 youngst children are very close. They play together all the time. My 7 yr old son thinks his sister ( 11 yrs. old) hung the moon. He will play ANYTHING with her…Dolls AND Cars! We were always under the mind set of exposing them to both gender toys and let the experiment and more important just PLAY. Soon enough they will be out of “role playing toys” and just into video games. Times flies fast….too fast and before you know it, your “little toddler” won’t be interested in toys but boys and you will long for the days when you wondered if you should have bought her a truck instead of a doll.
Tauni says:
2 girls – no boys and lots of “boy toys” in our place. We have the balls as well as the cars and trucks and lincoln logs and legos. We have star wars light sabers and the foam swords. I have tried to always have both toys available. I do find that most the boy toys often get left alone unless the barbie or polly pocket need an extra car or home to live in The light sabers and foam swords are ALWAYS pulled out though.
k says:
Hi Heather-
My baby boy who turns 23 tomorrow-oy vay!-was a typical boy and loved fashioning anything he could get his hands on into a weapon-lego guns and paper tube swords etc. from an alarmingly early age despite my no weapons rule. But he adored his baby doll which he asked for when he started preschool at 3. He named his doll after his best pal and carried a diaper bag for his “Henry James” everywhere for quite a while.
He was also fascinated with kitchen stuff and so he had a kitchen with the works and tons of play food. I think it is lovely how free toddlers are from gender role stuff-they are curious about everything. I just wish all our children were able to stay in that sweet and open place longer than they seem able to today.
I say let Mike go grab those hot wheels (the big yellow Tonka dumptruck is a must have!) and action figures for Annabel.
Noelle says:
They just don’t come any girlier than my daughter–pink, sparkly, and all about Barbie and fairies. But she has a train set that we bought when she was one and every once in a while she’ll take it out to play with it. I think it can’t hurt to have a few “boy” toys around…because you’re not always going to have friends who only have daughters come over, and at least the boys will have something to play with!
Courtney says:
My daughter is 3, loves to dress herself in cute clothes, barbies, horses and all things pink and purple. But she also loves Toy Story, sleeps with Woody every night. She has had a dump truck and tractor since her first birthday. She loves it all! I can’t help but think we are breaking down the girl vs. boy for her. Yes, there is an innate difference between the sexes, but I don’t want to be guilty of putting her in a “box” so young.
Ashley says:
We have two girls and we have a mix of both toys. We have dolls, and a kitchen and two strollers but we also have a tool set (like Daddy’s), balls, hockey sticks (duh) and cars (ps. They are wicked on your feet, should you step on them in the middle of the night without socks.) and they play with them all. My oldest leans towards the cars and tools while my youngest is my “little momma” I think the best thing is give them a mix and let them choose.
Kaleena Richardson says:
I was in the same situation around Christmas time. My grandma had gotten my son Jace a Toy Story Jesse doll…I did not mind him having the Woody and Buzz but I was hesitant to let him play with a “girl doll.” Needless to say, I gave in, and he loves her!
Melissa says:
We bought my little guy two baby dolls. He loves them. He feeds them with one of his old bottles and loves to be ‘the Daddy’. When it was time to talk at pre-school about things you can be when you grow up, he actually said he would like to be a Daddy!
We also have a kid’s kitchen, and on Fridays when I work from home he makes me eggs and then does the dishes. I like that a lot!
He does spend the rest of his time with boy things like cars and trains and dinosaurs. But I am happy he’s playing things that encourage nurturing and caring as well!
Jen R. says:
My son mostly has typically boy toys- lots of trucks and Buzz Lightyear action figures. But he likes to play with kitchen toys and his favorite thing he received for his 3rd birthday yesterday? Mrs. Potato Head.
Liz says:
My daughter is 3 and my son is 9 months so we mostly have girl toys–given to us by others. My husband loves trucks/machines/etc so he likes to buy her all that stuff and she LOVES it. But she also loves her babies and blankies and kitchen and tea set and the new dollhouse her Nana got her for Christmas this year. Of course, we got her a drum set so she’d have one just like her Daddy. I’m pretty sure we’ve got both sides covered for her and for my son, when he’s ready to actually play with toys instead of chewing on them.
My sibling-in-laws all have boys and their kids have mostly boy toys with a few dolls here and there. Mainly trucks and books though.
Liz says:
My daughter is 3 and my son is 9 months so we mostly have girl toys–given to us by others. My husband loves trucks/machines/etc so he likes to buy her all that stuff and she LOVES it. But she also loves her babies and blankies and kitchen and tea set and the new dollhouse her Nana got her for Christmas this year. Of course, we got her a drum set so she’d have one just like her Daddy. I’m pretty sure we’ve got both sides covered for her and for my son, when he’s ready to actually play with toys instead of chewing on them.
My siblings-in-law all have boys and their kids have mostly boy toys with a few dolls here and there. Mainly trucks and books though.
Elle says:
It’s so funny that you brought this up today… I have 3 boys, 10, 8 & 4. We do have a toy kitchen set, complete with the plastic cooking/food essentials. (Though the younger one is the only one who still plays with it.) Anyway, my middle son’s best friend is the little girl who lives across the street and they are the same age. She has an American Girl doll and now my son wants one. Honestly, being the age he is, is my main concern (along with how expensive the doll is.) I am completely comfortable with my son playing with dolls and frankly don’t like playing into others’ stereotypes- my hang up is how other people will react to it. I worry that he’ll be teased… Kids can be very mean and tease each other without reason… I feel letting him get this doll would only give them ammunition and I want to protect him. His birthday is in 2 weeks and the only thing he has asked for is an American Girl Doll. What should I do? What would you do?
kw says:
My 2yr old son has lots of boy toys, mainly because they came from his 2 male cousins. He also did get really into tractors and cars and trains, so we’ve gotten him some of those kinds of toys.
BUT, last year he was obsessed with a newborn we went to see, and so I bought him a doll (and one of my male friends had a huge issue with this). He liked the doll and ever since has randomly carried it around, and lately gotten into diapering it and changing its clothes. I love that this might help him be a more nurturing and caring person, and that he is SO gentle with babies he meets, and he spends more time talking to babies when they are around than he does playing with toys.
And for his 2yr b-day, his main present was a kitchen set and food/dishes, and he LOVES it. He spends part of each day playing with it, loves to pretend he’s making oatmeal or yogurt for people, and gravitates to kitchens at other kids’ houses. Luckily my husband thinks whatever makes our son happy is fine, but some male friends have commented that “boys don’t belong in the kitchen” and “what a waste” when they found out we had a kitchen. I think it’s ridiculous. I want to help my kid find his likes and interests, and the kitchen is one of the best things we’ve bought him.
I think the same goes for girls – you can buy 1 or 2 “cheaper” boy toys that she appears interested in (matchbox cars are $1!!) and see if she takes to them, then go from there.
Lisa says:
It really shouldn’t be about “girl toys” and “boy toys” they should only be “toys” – especially at Annabel’s age! Just my opinion
jim dean says:
As a dad, I had a great time building and playing with Thomas train sets with my first-born daughter (now 8). It’s great for imagination, creativity and logic. She still loved and loves her dolls more. My son is now 3 and goes through phases, including one now where he wants to play with his sister’s dolls. I agree encouraging all types of play, particularly imagination, is best.
Molly says:
Whoa, who isn’t buying their sons kitchen playsets and dolls? Boys want to pretend to be the adults they see around them, too. My husband grew up with those kinds of things mixed in and he’s now a strong, sensitive man without a bunch of gender insecurities (I’m looking at you, men who have “man-caves”).
I grew up with brothers close in age, and while I preferred my dolls, it was great to be able to play with their cars and planes and space ships, too.
And by the way, no matter what you bring into the home, even babies know when they’re being gendered, and they’ll respond to gendered toys that way. The question is whether parents are conscious of it or whether they have (typical, sadly) gender-role paranoia.
Jenna Anderson says:
I have two girls (ages 4 and 3) and we buy them girls toys, of course…but they also have legos (in mostly girly colors) and other types of blocks. We have balls and maybe even a car or two. And they love dinosaurs. I regret to say my 4 year old is already into video games. Mommy doesn’t love this, but she has a great time bonding with her dad! They also have tinker toys (in girl colors) and they LOVE to build and play with their more “boyish toys”. And I think it’s good for them!
Most of my friends have boys…and some of those boys have kitchens and that type of thing, so I think it is important to expose them to toys that aren’t just geared specifically to their own gender!
And yes, a huge part of playing at someone else’s house is that someone else’s toys are ALWAYS more fun and fascinating than what you have at home.
Erica says:
Being that my son is my third and his sister’s are girls, we have a lot of girl stuff here. It bothers my husband some that he wants to play with the girls stuff but I tell him to pipe down (nicely) because I dont feel his being exposed to or playing with girl toys defines who he is now or who he will be. He does have ‘boy’ stuff that he plays with but he just for the most part plays with whatever. As a former teacher, I do think it is important to expose kids to both ‘boy’ and ‘girl’ toys. So what if a little boy pretends to be a Mommy or little girl pretends to be a Dad? I think society has skewed our vision and I seriously don’t worry about my girls playing with boy stuff or my son playing with girl stuff. They’re kids!
Jessica F Guidry says:
My best friend bought her 2 year old son a kitchen set this Christmas. It was gender neutral. He absolutely loves it. He is always in the kitchen “helping” her cook, clean and help with dishes.
Who knows? He may become the next top chef.
Just like Annie might be the next Danika Patrick!
rachel says:
I have two boys and we have kitchen sets and baby dolls and fairy wings and Disney princess books. We have every toy imaginable. including 999999 cars, trucks, trains and balls.
Boy mamas worry about too much testosterone and counter act it with a little pink and glitter.
at least this one does.
Cassie says:
Buy both!!! She’ll play with what she wants, and Mike can play with the rest!
MelissaG says:
I have three boys and I’ve bought them all dolls…both regular and my youngest two have Waldorf type dolls. They have cleaning stuff (of course not only girls can clean but they have that stuff in the girl section). I also had a kitchen playset for them but gave it to my niece because of space issues, they LOVE playing w/ it there. Even my 7 year old. They’ve all gone through phases of loving their doll and carrying around BUT mostly play w/ Lincoln Logs, Legos, cars, dirt etc. I think it would be wonderful for you to get some of that stuff for your daughter. I can’t imagine that girls wouldn’t love to build and play w/ that stuff. You’re a great Mom for even thinking about these things!
Vanessa says:
I have four sons, and when I was pregnant with no. 2, I bought my eldest a cabbage patch doll with a stroller in preparation for a new baby. It held his interest for a few days, taking the doll out on our walks, but by far the most fun he had with it was when he let the stroller go from the top of a hill! That being said, all my boys love tea sets and kitchen utensils. Hey, they do make pink hot wheels
Jayme says:
My oldest three are all boys and they had dolls, Barbies, and a kitchen- before we added girls to the mix. And of course, having older brothers, my girls have always had access to boy toys.
Katie B says:
I have a 2.5 year old boy and he has a kitchen set and tons of stuffed animals and loves playing with baby dolls and doll strollers at his female friends’ houses. I think it’s all about the options. As long as they have options and aren’t forced into one gender role or the other you can feel confident that their choices really are their own. And that makes for a well rounded person down the line.
Dana says:
As a kid growing up in the 1980s I had a mix of both. I remember having a butter tub full of matchbox cars. Also, boats, trains, race car set w/ hand held controllers, legos, star wars action figures, I always kinda thought those types of toys are gender neutral. I mean I played with a toy car and now I drive a real one =)
But in my opinion it’s super fun and good for the imagination to have that variety available. My little girl friends and I played with dolls but some days we did play with cars, boats, or trains and we always had a blast. I believe Matt Logelin’s daughter has an adorable little wooden train set that she loves. I saw a cute video of it on his blog once. I thought it was awesome, made a mental note to myself to get a train set up like that when I have a kid, whether it’s a boy or a girl.
Leanne {The Bugs' Mama} says:
I have three boys (ages 5, 4, and 9 months), so our house is definitely full of “boy toys” – cars, trucks, space ships, dinosaurs, Legos, trains, etc. However, when we have our second son, I got our oldest a baby doll. Our 4 year old has pink gold clubs (off Craigslist), and they love to play kitchen and bake. The thing that irritates me is that certain toys are marketed towards one gender or the other. I know that my boys would love an Easy Bake Oven, but I feel like the packaging is SO girlish… couldn’t they put a picture of a girl and boy on the box? Our 5 year old is starting to pick-up on things like that. If we even have a girl, I’m sure that she will have more than her fair share of pink and girlie, but with three older brothers will also play with lots of “boy toys” and probably hold her own in a wrestling match
Lisak says:
I absolutely bought baby dolls, strollers, play kitchen, etc. for my boys. Equal opportunity play.
emily says:
without much thought, i bought my son a vacuum for christmas because he loves things he can push and make obnoxious noises. and then i picked up a play kitchen for him and he loves them both. they are his favorite toys. my husband was more weirded out by the kitchen set than i was but now he’s on board.
i would just say try buying her a car to play with and see how she does. i don’t think you need to revamp all of her toys but maybe just start slowly incorporating more gender neutral things.
niki says:
definitely get her some cars/trucks and dinos too!
we bought our firstborn son typical boy stuff AND not-so-typical boy stuff. among other stuff, he had a doll (a cabbage patch kid) and a stroller for it too (finding one in ‘gender neutral’ colors was a bit of a feat let me tell ya, but we did it!), lacing beads & lacing cards, and the all important toy kitchen which he begged for for ages before we were able to move to a larger place and get him one ’cause we finally had the space! (fortunately that item is a bit easier to find gender-neutral!). our second son has his ‘own’ doll and plays with all that other stuff as well, i’m happy to say. our daughter is just a baby now but i feel pretty sure she’ll claim their ‘boy’ stuff as her own, since there’s tons of it to go around. i like going gender neutral as much as possible with kid toys. bright colors, etc. i don’t think that will change with having a girl. i personally have an aversion to pink. ha!!
pgoodness says:
Sorry, behind on commenting!
Yes, buy her cars. Definitely. In fact, you want some? I have a GIANT container full of matchbox/hot wheels that I would be thrilled to send her!
My boys favorite thing of all time is kitchen – they have a kitchen, fake food, a market, carts, the whole setup. Now that it’s mostly in the basement, they’ll cook up anything. THeir latest was using playing cards as coals in a bowl and a few rolled up ones as hot dogs, poker chips as hamburgers. We let them use the real kitchen stuff (uh, minus the knives of course) and they have a ball.
My boys are both very nurturing – my oldest has more stuffed animals than I ever had and they both love them up.