Annie has been really awesome lately. And, she’s also been really awful. Her good moods can turn sour in an instant. But, she can also be screaming about something and then suddenly start laughing. At the end of each day, I feel like I have whiplash.
A taste of the things I hear all day:
“I do it.”
“No, you go get it.”
“Thank you, Mommy!”
“NO I’M NOT!!”
“Mama, this is so beautiful!”
“I don’t WANT time out!”
“Oh I love this!”
“I DON’T LIKE IT!”
Also lots of shrieking, which is typed out like, “EeeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEE!”
It’s another round of hard-core testing, but it feels more intense than last time. I don’t know if it’s because she’s older and smarter, or if she’s just a tiny evil genius. Maybe it’s all of the above.
Pouting because I told her Rigby couldn’t go to the mall with us.
I have been keeping boundaries and staying consistent. I’ve also been working on my patience, which I’ve never had an abundance of. But man, is she stubborn. A few nights ago we had a three-hour standoff over a diaper, specifically that she didn’t want me to change hers. Three. Freaking. Hours. of crying and remaining in a dirty diaper. But then yesterday I gave her a baggie of grapes and she hugged my neck and said, “Thank you, Mama, I love grapes!” over and over for fifteen minutes.
One day she *hates* spaghetti, the next day it’s all she wants to eat.
One day she is begging to go to a movie, the next day she says, “No, I want to stay in my house.”
One night she fights bedtime tooth and nail, the next night she puts herself to bed.
Yesterday morning I said to her, “Annie, can you try to not be a stereotypical toddler today?” And she replied, “BUT I WANT TO.” Then she fed breakfast to her dolls while she sang a song she made up about each of them.
She’s such a cute little nut job.
If you tell me that age three is worse, I will sic a toddler on you.
InDueTime says:
Okay, fine. I won’t say three is worse, but I’ll just say it finally gets better around four. How ’bout that?
Lol
Jos says:
Hehe, I agree!
MMD says:
We are heading toward 3 1/2 and I cannot WAIT to get to 4! It’s my light at the end of the tunnel.
Rachel says:
Yes, I agree with InDueTime, but wait until age 12 hahahahaha! =)
JMH says:
I am with Rachel..enjoy the years between 4 and 10, because the ‘tween years are like living with a very tall toddler
AmyT says:
I agree! My girls are 3.5 and 11.5. I am lucky to still have my sanity!
Elizabeth says:
To say it nicely, three is just a little more challenging than two but I agree with the comment above, 4 is a great age where things magically improve.
lisa d says:
Yes, four is downright delightful–and then better and better after….at least until around 13 (or so I’ve heard).
boomerang jane says:
Keep believing it gets better and better Lisa, and expecting your teens to remain the loving, kind, funny, thoughtful people they always have been, and im pretty sure they’ll rise to the occasion. This was my philosophy and they did not disappoint. I’ve got two who are heading out of their teen years & maybe I just got lucky? But I think because I never expected them to go all hormonal and moody, I never talked about teens in that way, it never happened. Most teens are amazingly wonderful young people and rise to that calling if you treat them so. I’m sure yours, too, will be wonderful and fun.
Heather, as for two & three year olds…give me teens any day. But don’t forget that Annie is very clever for her age and may well be exhibiting her 3 year old behaviour now. She might pleasantly surprise you earlier than 4.
maggiemoo says:
Wait…I was about to warn you…..fours have been HORRIBLE around here! For all 3 of my kids!!
Audra says:
It all depends on the temperament of your child. Seriously, I didn’t get all the hype about three with my first. Then we had Miss M at 2….and 3….and 4…and 4 1/2 and I’m wondering if it’s just time to accept that her personality is VERY DIFFERENT from her sister. She is MUCHmore temperamental…but she is also a much better cuddler.
Meyli says:
Eh, I work at a preschool – 3+ year olds are easier to explain things to! I’d be totally lost with a toddler just for the communication aspect D:
Brooke says:
3 is so. Much. Worse. 4 is pretty good. I’m liking where we are right now. She seems to get better and better as she gets older. Whenever my daughter has a sudden temperament change I call her Little Jekyll or Little Hyde. It fits because they’re all over the place emotionally at that age. Good luck. Maybe there should be an “It Gets Better” campaign for parents of 2 and 3 year olds too…I would have appreciated it.
cj says:
two to four was probably my very favorite age…..of course my daughter just turned 18 so maybe my memory is just bad! best of luck.
that picture of annie pouting is ADORABLE!
Courtney says:
Oh! You just described my 2.5 year old who also happens to be a girl. Other statements to add to this list:
In response to saying she is getting tired:
“NOBODYS getting tired!”
“I like you so much, Mommy!”
“I NOT sorry!!”
“Mommy you my best friend.”
Not to mention the unsolicited toture she dishes out to her older brother! Oh, but when she’s good, she’s golden and I love that girl! I also just love reading your blog and seeing your sweet girl. She is a beauty, like you! :0)
P.S I’m keeping her in her crib til she’s 17.
Heather P says:
OK, I won’t TELL you that 3 is worse…..
TonyaM says:
Um, that, my friend, is called parenting a GIRL. Get used to it. Buckle in and enjoy the ride. And I say that as the mom of 8 and 12 year-old girls, so all you moms of teens can go ahead and tell me I haven’t seen anything yet! Haha!
Tara says:
Your kid and my kid must plot together. I’m freaking exhausted from the conflicted stubbornness of my 2.5 year old.
And yeah, if I hear one more time that 3 is worse than 2…
Lamb says:
My husband and I have been having trouble deciding whether or not it’s time to have a baby. Usually, I think of cute little Annie as a pro. Thank you for sharing both sides
Amy S. says:
Ha, wait unitl she is 12.
Lesa says:
I have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old. Both girls and some days I feel like I am in some sort of a horror film/soap opera/dramedy – what with all the screaming and crying and dramatics. But then there are those moments, like when I was just sick with a horrible cold and the girls were making pictures and bringing me water to make mommy feel better – just melts my heart. I am counting the minutes until the older one turns 4 – hoping it will get better just in time for the younger one to turn 3 – can’t wait!!! I love your blog and read it everyday, you are so honest – it makes me feel not so crazy
Shannon says:
I laughed out loud when I read that about Rigby going to the mall. Carter just turned six and we had a showdown over a tee shirt this morning. He’s a boy…he normally doesn’t care….today he was all about NOT wearing THIS particular shirt…sigh. I won when I threatened to take his brand new nunchucks away!
Jeanne H says:
Maybe she is mature for her age and is already going through the terrible threes (yeah, they’re worse than twos in my estimation). Hopefully by the time she’s three she will be acting like a four year old. They are amazingly awesome and much easier to reason with!
Terri says:
Hmmm.. my daughter never got the “it gets better around 4 memo” She has the toddler version of split personalities. Yet she also has that I’m 4 going on 14 attitude. I miss the 2’s and 3’s. Then sometimes she throws in the sweetest hugs and I love you Mommy’s and I can almost see a little shopping buddy in my future.
Colleen from MN says:
Heather, watch those grapes. I have a friend who gave her son grapes (he is 2), and he choked and went without oxygen for 11 minutes. He is still not even close to OK and probably never will be. I would still cut those grapes in half! I tell everyone I know because I don’t want it to happen to any other family!
Heather says:
I always do!
Lisa says:
We are still living the split personalities here at 4 but with some too smart for her own good going 14 attitude thrown in the mix. Some days I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Ashley says:
Well, I have a tiny evil genius BOY. He fits the criteria to a T!
All of those “bad” things fade away when he says “Mommy, I love you. You my besssst friend.”
Krissy says:
Oh I think 2 was WAY worse then 3. My kid was AWESOME when she was 3. Now she is 4… turning back into an asshat. And stubborn? HOLY COW. You just have to be more stubborn then her!!!
Kristina says:
At my daughter’s 3 and 4 year doctor’s visits, when the doctor asked, “Do you have any questions about her behavior?” I started laughing and said, “No. They’re all eff-ing nuts.” He enjoyed that. But they are! I worked at her preschool. They’re all crazy!
anne says:
Every age has its good and bad parts. Mine are 17 and 21 now! There are things you will NOT miss when they are behind you, and others you will be wistful for when they disappear forever. My kids are beautiful, smart, interesting, reasonable, helpful, responsible. I also don’t see them very often and they don’t sit on my lap anymore!
karen says:
I have a 9 and a 17. The problems are different but every age is tricky!
Shani says:
At our house, we like to say that 3 is 2 gone pro.
Laura says:
My son was a joy until age 4 and that is why I call them the eff-you fours. He is back to being completely awesome at age 5. My 15 month old daughter has been hell on wheels since day one so I figure it has to let up at some point, right? Right? I am not sure I can make it if two or three or four are worse than this.
ldoo says:
Nope, 3-year-old girls are NOT worse. At all. There, I didn’t say they are. :|
Gail says:
#1-Three is worse. Well, at least the first 6 months of three. Sorry.
#2-Have you thought of teaching her how to change her own diaper? My three year old figured it out by the time she was 2, and has now taught her 2 year old sister how to take hers off. When she has to pee…she goes and sits on the toilet! Yay for self-potty training!
Then again, my girls might just be weird.
Wallydraigle says:
I’ve heard from a lot of people that three is worse. A three year old is just a two year old with experience.
That’s not been true in our house, though. First kid was awful from about 18 months to two years. Second kid, two years to 2.5. She’s just a couple weeks younger than Annie. She still has really horrible phases, but she’s not difficult all.the.time. like she was until recently. So! For us, it seems to get easier past about 2.5. Hope the same is true for Annie!
Bria says:
Three is worse. No need to sic a toddler on me…I already live with a threenager.
Kristin says:
It all depends on the kid. My daughter never went thru “terrible twos”. Her temperment is overall very happy, but when she’s not, she’s really not. She’s almost 6 and she is in tears most mornings over her clothing. I just have to remind myself than in about 10 mins she’ll be fine.
My son on the other hand…. Every age is harder and harder with him and he’s 8 1/2. He’s big into having an attitude about everything, lying (which before about 9 months or so ago he NEVER EVER did), and generally being a little punk. Its fun times. Just cherish the good times and hold onto those memories, you’ll need it for the next tantrum.
Molly says:
Well, my theory is that both 2 and 3 are not bad for the same child. Challenging 2-years-olds turn into agreeable 3-year-olds and agreeable 2-year-olds become more challenging around 3. My very easy 2-year-old was harder at 3 (also got a sibling then, so who knows?) but 4 by far has been our worst year. She just turned 5, so here’s hoping. I also don’t find it to be a girl/boy thing or for dramatics like crying and tantrums to be limited to girls.
Jen says:
To semi-quote Forrest Gump: Toddlers are like a box of chocolate. You never know what you’re gonna get!
My oldest daughter was SO easy until she turned 3. Her terrible 3s lasted from 3 until about 9. Now she’s 12, and I hate to jinx myself, but she’s pretty easy (I know, it’s probably just the calm before the storm). Daughters 2 and 3 never went through a “terrible anything.” It’s just a crap shoot with these kids!
I *love* the pouty picture of Annie!
Jen
Melissa says:
4 is fantastic. I agree.
Jean says:
4 was my favorite age for all my kids.
Tara says:
My almost-3-year old is the same way!
I LOVE the pouting picture! Oh gosh, too cute. My SIL likes to say “God makes kids cute so you don’t end up killing them”. lol
When my son gets stubborn about a diaper change, I tell him he can go learn to use the potty then!
I think you’re doing a fantastic job with Annie!
statia says:
I’m not going to be an asshole (maybe a little), but three is definitely worse. But, I have to say, that three seemed way worse with my boy, than it has with my girl. She’s definitely more stubborn, and more head strong, and always has been, so perhaps that’s why it doesn’t seem as bad. She’s been difficult from the get go. Four is a pretty magical age, and so far, my favorite, at least with my son. I’ll see how it goes with her. She’s way more expressive and articulate at three than he was. So it makes up for her being an asshole on a regular basis. I guess each age isn’t necessarily harder, it becomes different. I think it’s harder when they become more opinionated.
Janet says:
There is no such thing as terrible two’s! I have no idea who made that stupid saying up?!?!?!
It’s HORRENDOUS THREE’S!!!!
4 is somewhat better because you can finally rationalize with them but really IMO from 3-7 is a nasty blur but then it turns quite lovely
Jean says:
Yeah, I never got that either. All my kids are adults, but when they were two, I couldn’t understand what idiot named that age the terrible two’s. Three was horrid and two was fine.
M.Penny says:
I agree with the post that “3 is 2 gone pro” funny how memory is because I thought his twos were fine but I just consulted my email history to my sister and it seems to have started at 33 months. It seems longer than that… he is now 40 months and it just amps up and up every week. It has to hit a wall sometime, and there will be peace in the valley…please? Pretty please with sugar on top?
Jean says:
Three is worse. The ages that I liked the least were 3, 13, and 18.
skat says:
The threes will make you long for the care free days of the terrible twos!!!! I swear that those threes are so bad. Maybe it is my daughter who has a temper and it is getting oh so fine tuned in her fours, but from what I heard from other moms, this is not uncommon. It’s the girl gene or something. Sorry
Glenda says:
LOVE the pouting face!
Kristin says:
Toddlerhood is so much harder when you have a smart kid and you definitely have a smart one.
Annie has the most beautimous pout.
hdj says:
For me it was age 4. But ages 2 and 3 were nothing like you describe for me, so maybe you’ll have the opposite experience and 4 will be like dream for you. You can hope, right?
Tamara S. says:
I have to agree… two was beyond difficult but three’s were HORRENDOUS. It’s gotten slightly better at 4, but still acts like shes going on 14 oftentimes.
The most difficult thing about disciplining at this age (almost 5) has been her size. I remember it was a pain putting my daughter in time out when she was little, but now that she’s near 50 lbs when she gets out of control I literally can barely manager her. She will go into complete hysterics, flailing arms, totally out of control… raising girls is NOT easy! My son is so much more even tempered than her. She is twice as much work.
Tammy M. says:
She is so adorable I’m tempted to tell you that the threes are worse just so you’ll sic her on me!
Mommy Boots says:
You’re not alone. Everything you’ve described? My kiddo is doing almost the exact same things. What really struck a chord with me was the movie thing – she brought up wanting to see a movie last weekend (“In the tee-tur! With popcorn and Coke!”) and when the day came, she wailed and cried that all she wanted to do was stay home. 0_O Whiplash is the perfect way to describe it. She’ll wail and cry if we put a stuffed animal to bed with her that she has deemed unworthy to sleep with her that evening, even if said stuffed animal’s been sleeping with her for a week.
Chris says:
My granddaughter is 5 and she is like Jeckle and Hyde. One minute loving and sweet, and BAM, the devil child, unbelievable how she can change in an instant, you don’ t even see it coming. WTF? just happened…it’s scarey, and then she’ll calm down and become the sweet loving child and say I’m sorry, and I love you and all that. We just shake our heads in disbelief. Good luck with it, I think it’s harder when they’re smart and stubborn.
Keri says:
I have a daughter a little younger than Annie and a son who is four. For both of my kids, they seem to go in these two-week spurts a few times a year where they are nuts more often than not. Then they are back to being sweet. I blame it on phases a lot, but it seems to be the case for us. Right when I’m at my wit’s end, it’s almost like they know it and they go back to normal. So hopefully it’s the same for you! And with any hope, maybe it ends for them all by the time they’re five
monica says:
Good thing I’m not her mom because I would never be able to say no to that lil face. N.E.V.E.R.
Paula says:
I was so glad to read this – we are going thru the exact same thing. Fifteen minutes to get her into the car this morning! Insists on wearing her pjs wherever we go! Tears, tantrums, hitting…and then sweetness and light! I live her dearly but I am SO glad when it’s bedtime lol
Sue says:
I won’t dare say that 3 is worse, Heather,,,but I’ll add a 1 in front of that 3!! Please don’t sic a teenager on me!! LOL
Kitty says:
In my experience, 3 is…just more intense. It’s not that different from what you describe in your post. The highs are higher (my son spent our commute yesterday telling me, “You look so pretty, mommy!” and “I love my mom and dad so much!”) and the lows are very, very low (“NO!!!” “I don’t WANNA go!” etc.). I love your description of having whiplash! What a perfect analogy.
On another note, sounds like she is really ready to try potty training, no? I have only potty trained one child, but it seemed like when it became a real standoff, it was his way (maybe even subconsciously) of telling me he needed to have control of the whole toileting experience. Everyone told me that his success would be gradual, and his preschool room had a very organized system of taking them to the potty every couple of hours and charting their progress, but he NEVER went on the potty while he was still in diapers. NE.VER. When it became a fight to diaper him every day, and he was closing in on his 3rd birthday, we just went cold turkey. It worked – not without a few accidents, but it worked.
Lisa says:
Three is tough man, and Annie seems to be on the same kinda level as my darling Ava. Similar personalities, one minute she is sweet as sugar. The next she does Karate on me. And smart/funny as she can be. Ava is four, going on five. And lemme tell you, four is rough. The good part, they can go potty by themselves, like totally by themselves. She tells me to leave the bathroom! Heaven…. She can go in the fridge and get food. YAY! Bad part: No more spelling. She is so smart, even though she really cant read or spell yet, she almost always knows what I am spelling. She is like negotiating with a terrorist. I have to be one step ahead of her, cause she is SMARTER than me. She thinks of things before I do. And then I just feel dumb. She can argue with me like a 15 y/o. Its freaking unreal. My advice? Time out, like ALOT of them. And if she screams at us while in time out, time out gets doubled. And we take her stuff (dolls, toys, etc) sometimes ALL of it. I put her in time out this morning for saying “piggie” to me when she didn’t want to get dressed. While in time out, she kept yelling “No one loves me, NO one loves me ANYMORE!!” Which I had to ignore b/c we do not acknowledge her when she is in t/o. FUN way to start the morning. Much luck to ya! Annie’s a smart one.
LibraryGirl62 says:
Three is worse, but the good news (at least in the case of my darling daughter) is she was over being a nightmare angst driven toddler by five (seriously-I didn’t think I could survive 2-5) and then a FREAKIN’ DREAM CHILD! No kidding-awesome middle schooler-even better high school kid-incredible college student. No girl drama, honor student, chose a good boyfriend who respects and loves her, her own unique person who doesn’t care what other people think. I bet Annie will be the same
SnarkyMommy says:
This is my third, she will be 3 in December. I declared with both the others that 3 might be the age that sends me to the asylum. Or prison. It’s far, far worse than 2 because they are bigger, stronger, have more language and are generally aware of the power they hold. There’s a book, “Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy” and their best parenting advice, and this is completely straight-up, is to get a babysitter as much as possible. Seriously.
lisa gleeson says:
I am sorry to say that 3 is sooo much worse. As a grandmother, I totally enjoy it, but as a Mother it’s not quite as pleasant :(. However, your Annie seems a little precocious, so perhaps you are seeing those awful 3’s early and you will find yourself in the 4’s early as well :). Here’s hoping!!
Erica Reinhart says:
I am almost to 4, well I am not but he is .. anyways I would have to say 3 has been pretttttyy bad, I also have enrolled him in school and noticed a huge change (for worse) after that, as far as his little smart remarks and what not- I am actually looking forward to what a lot of you have said about age 4 and it being/getting better