It’s the holiday season and blah blah blah. I am feeling totally ambivalent about it all this year. I can’t figure out why. I love giving presents, singing Christmas and Hanukkah songs (I’m not your average shiksa), Christmas lights, you get the idea. My mom has always gone all-out for Christmas. Our house growing up looked like Santa had barfed everywhere – you know, in a completely tasteful way, of course.

And really, to get more specific, the thing I am most ambivalent about is decorating for Christmas. Today I told my friends Meghan and Tara that Mike and I decided not to decorate at all, and they both completely flipped out. Maybe we’re out of practice. We haven’t decked the halls for a few years now. A couple years ago we skipped decorating because Mike and I were getting married and going on our honeymoon. Last year Maddie was in the hospital. This year we’re going to be in Northern California for Santa’s big show, and the idea of putting up decorations now just to take them down in two weeks makes me tired.

And really, just to decorate, I have to clean my house. And that REALLY makes me tired.

December is a really busy month for us. My nephew’s birthday, Rigby’s birthday, Mike’s birthday, our anniversary, Christmas, New Year’s, OH MY. I try to make Mike’s birthday really special and by the time Christmas comes around, we are both so exhausted from the shopping and the wrapping and the packing and the shipping that we both just want to scream.

But then, as Tara pointed out/lectured to me, this is Maddie’s first Christmas out of the hospital. We don’t have a stocking for her yet, we have to start our family traditions and work on memories and, of course, take lots of pictures. She’s right, we have to do all those things. We want to do all those things. So I’m rethinking our decision not to hang the mistletoe. Maddie’s breathing issues will require a fake tree (and don’t even get me started on how I feel about fake trees), so I am going to have to look into where you get one and how much they cost and oh jeez I’m already tired.

So really what I’m saying is, who wants to come to my house, clean it, and then put up my decorations?