When my darling daughter was forcibly removed from me, the first thing I heard after her tiny cry was Mike saying, “she looks like me! She has dark hair!” And boy did she.
why are you looking at my hair when I have been forcibly removed from my home?!
She had so much dark black hair that I wondered a) if Mike had been lying to me all these years and he was actually FULL Portuguese instead of half, and b) how much hair she would have had if she’d been able to cook three more months. I had dreams of the plaits I’d weave into her hair, the elaborate up-do’s she’d wear to pre-school. Then, when she was in the NICU, a section of her head had to be shaved. I often found myself rubbing her bald spot, willing the hair to grow back. By the time she was released from the hospital, there were buds of hair where she’d been shaved, and I had high, high hopes for my daughter’s hair growing abilities. After all, I had hair to my chin by my first birthday! Surely my daughter would be like me in every way. Unfortunately, she is like her daddy as a baby (and maybe in 40 years) – balding.
now I'll never be a hair model!
She has that special pattern of baldness that is really hairy from ear to ear but just wisps of what used to be on top. Instead of the cute little baby clips I thought she’d be sporting by now, she now needs baby hair plugs! Or a Nelson’s Baby Toupee.
Bill Hader, comedy genius

Maddie went straight from adorable newborn to brooding teen today. She was upset about something, I don’t know, maybe she wanted to hang out at the mall? She doesn’t communicate her feelings well. All I know is that my sweet baby is…a cutter. She was all worked up and then she took her her tiny razor-like finger and slashed her cheek! What’s next, Maddie wearing dark eyeliner and listening to emo?
sweet baby cheek, bloodied!