Many people have spent the last six weeks riveted by the trial of Casey Anthony, a woman accused of killing her two year old daughter, Caylee. Lots of my friends and family have followed the media coverage religiously. Today when the not-guilty verdict was read, I watched Twitter and Facebook explode with hatred and anger, which didn’t surprise me. But I observed the whole thing from the perspective of a mother who has lost a child, and my feelings are all over the place.
One of the most popular arguments against Casey was for 31 days after her daughter’s death she was out partying like she didn’t have a care in the world. People pointed to her actions in this time as proof that she killed Caylee so that she could be free of the responsibilities of being a parent. If she had loved her daughter and lost her in an accident, the argument goes, she never would acted that way. Well, as someone who has lost a baby, I can tell you that’s not true. Until you lose a child you can imagine what you think you would do, but you just can’t know. Everyone reacts in a different (and often unexpected) way to such a loss. It is a HUGE thing to have to process, and can make you do crazy things even if you don’t already have questionable mental health like Casey Anthony. I don’t personally know any bereaved parents who went out on drunk dance binges, but she may have been in extreme denial. Anything is possible.
Don’t get me wrong…I have my suspicions about what happened. There was a lot of evidence pointing at Casey. I think that what it comes down to for me is that I WANT her to be innocent. I want to think her story about her daughter accidentally drowning is true. As a mom who lost a child, I can’t imagine killing a daughter when I would do anything to get my Madeline back. But my gut instinct here…well, I’m very glad I wasn’t on the jury.
Even if Casey had been found guilty, it wouldn’t have brought Caylee back. That’s the hardest thing to accept. Many people asked us if we were going to have a formal inquiry into the hours around Madeline’s death. We thought about it, but in the end Maddie was still going to be gone. Caylee is still gone. It sucks so, so much.
I have to hope that our courts did the right thing. I wasn’t in the room and didn’t see what the jurors saw. I try to believe in “innocent until proven guilty” and in this instance, the prosecution did not convince the jury of her peers beyond a reasonable doubt. I think Casey Anthony is a wretched liar who has manufactured herself a very difficult life. I wonder if she’ll be haunted by the things she admitted she did.
There are no winners when a child is dead.
Laura Scarborough says:
I think I am somewhere close to where you are thinking…although I just can’t imagine walking in your shoes because I haven’t lost a child like your exquisite Maddy.
I did not watch the trial. I did not tune into the circus-y, tabloid-y news channel talking heads who daily rehashed every detail of the trial. Honestly, I better things to do and not do.
But before the verdict was read…and after I found myself thinking on what the defense attorney said in his closing arguments…I might not like her. I might not like the person she is at all but did the prosecution prove that she did this…beyond a shadow of reasonable doubt?
Having sat on a jury where the case, as compelling as it was the prosecutor could not deliver complete lack of reasonable doubt, I can imagine the jury grappling over a fair and just verdict. I can only pray that they did.
Rest in peace sweet Caylee.
dysfunctional mom says:
While I still think that she was responsible for Caylee’s death, I wonder if it was some sort of accident and she panicked and covered it up. We’ll probably never know. But I agree that the jury was not presented with sufficient evidence to find her guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. So much of the evidence that the prosecution did present was discredited by the defense. Finding someone – especially a parent – guilty of murdering a child is a huge thing. The jury did what they had to do.
And like you said – nothing will bring her back.
Sarah G says:
I don’t know anything about the case because it hasn’t been covered in the Australian media, but I thank you for this post. It’s very easy for people to jump on to a wave of anger in situations like this and your perspective strikes me as very mature and balanced. You’re a wonderful person, Heather.
heather says:
We’ll never know what happened, and you’re right. Nothing brings back someone who is gone.
This is one of the most thoughtful perspectives I have read about the entire thing, I’m not sure how much coverage we’ve had in Canada though. I have no cable (by choice) and with our upcoming wedding, I have been avoiding news stations online in favour of planning and such.
I can’t begin to imagine what’s going on in her head or her heart. If it was an accident, like she said, she may very well pay for her actions following the drowning for the rest of her life in ways far more horrific than jail. If not, well…. time will play out in another way, and I suspect that found not guilty or guilty, she’ll pay for what she’s done in the public eye forever.
I can’t imagine life will be any easier for her now that the trial is over, she’s gained a notoriety that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. On top of having for little support among the population, there are unstable people out there so convinced that she did it that I am certain her life is likely going to be in danger for many years to come.
red pen mama says:
Thank you for this. When Twitter exploded, I just kind of ducked. I didn’t watch the trial, or read much about it. It broke my heart.
A child died, and a media circus ensued. While I think the jury did its best, they had to render a verdict based on the burden of proof. Regardless of Casey Anthony’s role in her child’s death (neglect probably doesn’t cover it), I think Nancy Grace was a horrible harpy for her role in everything too. I don’t know how that woman sleeps at night.
And, yes, I was tweeting with a woman yesterday who lost a 10-year-old son in january to brain cancer, and when the verdict came down, I wanted to find her and hold her hand. A child died, and even if her mother didn’t seem to be affected by the loss, many of us were. Because, like you say, we would give just about anything to have our lost babies with us again.
Jess says:
My biggest issue on the whole case is not how Casey reacted after but on how for 31 days neither Casey nor her parents reported that little girl missing. Who does that? No parent and no grandparent who claims to love their child goes 31 without reporting them missing. Their behavior beside the point. And her parents have some of the blame too they claimed to have wanted Caylee and would’ve cared for her etc etc then where were they the 31 days she was missing? Just assuming it was normal not to see her? Guaranteed if you and Mike disappeared or your parents stopped seeing Annie they’d call the police ASAP. That is what was not normal to me.
AmazingGreis says:
You know where I stand on this issue. The jury may have found her NOT GUILTY, but I believe that she is in no way innocent. Do I disagree with the verdict, yes, do I believe the jury did their job with the evidence presented, YES.
What saddens me is that the truth will likely never be known. I’m sad for the Anthony family. I’m sad that “closure” will be hard without real answers.
Leslie says:
Very well put, Heather.
Kate says:
Thank you, Heather.
I have watched otherwise reasonable people spend the last 24 hours making statements about how they’re disgusted, losing faith in the system, or (my favorite) now convinced that our society “doesn’t value children.” As both a reasonable person and a future lawyer, it is some of the most frustrating garbage I have come up against, and it really made it hard not to just de-friend a third of my Facebook in frustration. No matter what laypeople who were not on the jury think, the jury had reasonable doubt. And while we have a right to our own opinions on the matter, we don’t have a right to judge Casey Anthony or how well her jury did.
(One post actually attacked the foreperson personally. Something about how he couldn’t spell. Because that is relevant to the discussion.)
I don’t know what happened to that little girl and I don’t know what is going on in Casey Anthony’s mind, but I do know that if she was found not guilty by a jury of her peers, that’s good enough for me.
Samantha F. in St. Paul says:
Very well said. I do believe justice was served and the jury did the best they could with what they had. That being said I don’t think Casey wasn’t at least somewhat (if not completely) repsonsible for Caylee’s death, but that doesn’t mean that there was enough information to convict her of the crime.
Staci says:
I appreciate you speaking up on the topic. Its really good to get perspective from someone who could relate (in part) to her situation. I didn’t follow the trial closely, but I also have to hope that the jury responded in the only way they could with the evidence presented. Its so unfortunate that Caylee will likely never have justice but its not my place to judge her mother.
M says:
She is guilty and it makes me sick, but you are right- a guilty verdict would not bring that baby back. Nobody wins anyway.
Amanda says:
This is perhaps the most sane thing I’ve seen written about case in the last 24 hours (for sure) and perhaps in… forever. I agree with much of what you post above – I hate the her behavior has been so scrutinized and people feel they are sure about how they would react in the situation. Thanks for sharing your perspective.
Becca says:
Thank you for your thoughts on this. Often times, there is this overly emotional mass response from a people who are unrelated to what is going on. It’s just so easy to sit back and draw opinions/conclusions. Once that has happened we become blind to what could have happened, or might have been. You’re right, it’s a sad situation, and it has been from before Caylee was born. I think when people can’t understand something they desperately NEED someone to be angry at, and while I understand that human desire, sometimes all the mass anger first scares me, and second makes me feel so disconnected. I feel like “we’re” off on such emotional rage and there’s no one to reel anyone back in. It’s confusing and upsetting.
My point is – your post was the most rational voice I’ve heard on the computer since this has come about. And between all the “She should die and burn in hell!!!!!” (seriously) posts, it’s nice to read just a tad amount of compassion, even if that compassion is for someone who has not always acted in a perfectly complete “moral” manner. Thank you for being that calming presence. Lives are ruined here, so many lives. Let’s just let them do, or be, because that alone is going to be difficult enough.
Tracy says:
I think many jurors get confused as to what “reasonable” doubt means. It does not mean beyond ALL doubt. Only what is reasonable. That’s a pretty big difference. I also think with all this CSI stuff on t.v., people expect to see DNA evidence in every case. But that’s just t.v.
Juries don’t always get it right. I am an attorney and have seen some pretty crazy verdicts. There is no predicting what a jury will do.
dee says:
Amen @Tracy!
A friend of mine (who works in the system) reminded me of this: Jurors are listening to those jury instructions and forgetting the “common sense” part of the instruction and focusing on the “beyond a reasonable doubt part.”
It seems that this is just one more case where the jury got it wrong
Jenn says:
Well said, but I still get the feeling that in the next hours and days when people start making money off this (book deals, interviews, Lifetime movies) just like every other high profile child murder case… Caylee will become a foot note…. she is the reason for this circus and no one will stand for her.
Nasrene says:
Casey Anthony was found not guilty in the court of law, but guilty in the court of public opinion. I’m not sure which one would be worse.
While I do feel compassion for her because she really has no chance for a normal life at this point, I can’t help but remember that Caylee doesn’t either. And, in my opinion, it saddens me to think that her very own mother could have played a major role in that.
Sadly, I do think Casey Anthony is guilty, but I agree that the prosecution did not show enough to convict her. My Facebook post yesterday didn’t reflect anger at Casey, just sadness that little Caylee life was cut so very short.
And I wish for just one second I would’ve seen some sadness cross her face during the trial as they discussed her daughter’s death, versus looking like a bored college kid in the back row of a physics class.
Tonya says:
Even if Casey’s bizarre behavior after Caylee’s death was the result of grief or denial, I cannot imagine that, three years later, the reality of whatever happened has not hit her. I watched her sit in that courtroom day after day and show no emotion whatsoever as her child’s life and death were discussed. Emotion came only when focus shifted to HER. Plenty of emotion was showed yesterday as the not guilty verdict was read, though. Big, real tears. Huge smiles, even a laugh or two. Watching that group literally celebrate with hugs and tears and smiles made me nauseous. I agree that either way, Caylee is gone and won’t be back, but the WHY she is gone is what so many of us can’t get past. One way or another, her mother KNOWS the answer to that, and she selfishly, stubbornly, manipulatively refused to tell what she knew. And it worked. Her child is dead and she will walk free tomorrow.
I completely agree with Tracy above. Reasonable doubt is not all doubt.
Noelia says:
This is something that really bothered me yesterday, seeing her almost jumping up and down when they read she was not guilty.
I still have a hard time believing she was found not guilty. But like many other commenters said: we weren’t there in the courtroom, and we don’t know what really happened to Caylee. She won’t come back to life, and like Nasrene said: the public opinion could be a worst sentence than the one the juror c ould have given her. Now, she’s gonna have to live with the knowledge that whenever people Google her all they’re gonna find is all the stuff that happened to Caylee.
Julie says:
I felt the same way. She was grinning and laughing and so excited with the “not guilty” verdict. Um, hello!!!! You admitted that your daughter drowned, you found her, and together with your father, threw her tiny lifeless body in a swamp to make it look like murder. I personally don’t see how she could celebrate. Even if Caylee died as a result of a drowning instead of murder, how could she throw her in a swamp? I would’ve thought she would be stoic for either guilty or not guilty. Because her daughter is still gone, and I would hope she’d feel awful for how she disposed of her body.
Courtney Contos says:
Amen. Exactly. And thank you.
Jules says:
Very well put. I think the evidence pointed towards her, but it was all circumstantial from what I can tell. Either way, her child is gone. That is something she’s going to have to figure out a way to deal with. It’s just so sad that this little girl didn’t have a chance to grow up, whether by malice or accident.
Lisa D. says:
Heather- thank you for one of the best takes on this that I’ve read yet. So many people jumped to hateful anger. Maybe that’s justified, but it’s not helpful. Because as you said, no one can bring that little girl back.
Nikki says:
Well put…at the end of the day, Caylee is gone and nothing will bring her back.
She, and precious Maddie, will forever be missed.
bessie.viola says:
You have offered a really rational voice in all of this. I feel sad about the whole ordeal. I don’t think that she’s entirely innocent, but since the truth hasn’t been told… who knows. It’s done, I guess, but like you said – I’m just so sad that another child has been lost and there is no way of bringing her back. The thought that it was at her mother’s hand is something I can’t even imagine, and don’t want to imagine.
Well said, Heather.
EmilyInCocktailLand says:
I watched the case and I told my husband that if I was on the jury the verdict would either be guilty to murder (to some degree…not sure that capital murder would stick but definetly criminal homicide or manslaughter) or a hung jury. There is no way that I would have let her off…
I think the hardest part for me was that the jury only deliberated for TWO days, at the most. TWO. Caylee deserved more than that.
Yes, the two of you have something tragic in common…but the circumstances surrounding your “common event” are night and day. You reacted in your own way…in a healthy, visceral, natural way…your journey has been raw and cathartic for so many of us. I am pretty sure that NO ONE would say the same about Casey’s response. She is a manipulative sociopath who DESPERATELY needs help.
Minnyc says:
I agree.
Kim Wencl says:
As a mother who knows what it is like to lose a child – Iwatched Casey’s trial with great interest. I agree Heather that no one can ever know how they would react if they lost a child. However Casey’s actions don’t reflect sadness or loss. The not guilty verdict was stunning. But I respect the jury for their decision.
Casey will now have to go back out into the world and live her life … after alienating her entire family it won’t be easy. She may have gotten by with it here and now, but some day she will stand before God and will have to answer to him for her actions.
Brigid says:
Perfectly said.
Lindsey says:
Ditto.
Liz says:
“I think that what it comes down to for me is that I WANT her to be innocent. I want to think her story about her daughter accidentally drowning is true.”
Thank you, that is how I’ve felt about this case the whole time and I haven’t been able to express that without backlash. Like you, I have a gut feeling about it but I just don’t want to think that a mother did that to her child. It’s definitely a tragedy and hopefully karma will take care of things in the end.
Tracy says:
Very thoughtfully said. Thank you.
Nicole says:
Thanks for the perspective, Heather. You are a great writer. I love coming to your blog every morning to get my day started – sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry and sometimes you have to make me think before 9AM :).
Megan says:
I agree wholeheartedly with everything you just said.
Yes, a child is still dead, a child who was special, who mattered, and who deserves so much better than to be a pawn in a media circus.
Rachel C. says:
I live in Orlando and have been watching this circus for 3 years, so I am glad it is over. But, also very sad that there is still no justice for little Caylee. I do NOT agree with the verdict, but that is what the jury decided and that’s that.
I believe it’s now between Casey and the Big Man upstairs.
Corri says:
Heather, I also lost a daughter — in 2009, my daugher Lucy died after a difficult struggle with heart disease, when she was 11 months old.
Often your perspective of loss and grief is very different than my own experience, but this is one instance in which my reaction feels very similar to yours. I wondered if I was numb because of Lucy’s death. I didn’t feel the outrage that many others have been articulating.
What you say is absolutely true: No one can predict how they would react to such a loss. I’ve heard many people say things like “I would never XYZ” or “I could never XYZ” if my child died. I KNOW that they don’t KNOW.
Lisa says:
My feelings on the situation are very similar to yours, especially the part about there being no winners, a child is still gone. My gut tells me she played a role, but it is up to the prosecution to convince the jury beyond a reasonable doubt, and I guess there were just too many missing puzzle pieces. The jury was not convinced and so had to decide the way they did.
The saddest thing for me is there is a little girl who died much to soon, nothing that happens in a court room will change that.
Laryssa says:
This post is so well written, Heather. When my husband got home and started telling me what other people were saying about the verdict, I said the same thing you did: no matter what the verdict was, Caylee isn’t here, a guilty verdict wouldn’t have brought her back.
It’s clear that Casey is a deceitful liar – that was proven. But most of the speculations and some evidence that we, the spectators see via the media, isn’t presented to the jury. We hear a lot of the ‘bench talk’ and witness accounts of her actions but a lot of that wasn’t presented to the jury; the jury gets excused from some of the discussions. The jury can only decide on a verdict based on what they are allowed to see and hear. It’s unfortunate but it’s the way our justice system functions.
Kodie says:
You can ALWAYS remember the truth but in time will forget the lie.
Someone posted that on FB today and it’s so true.
I just find it very ironic that they found her guilty of lying yet her lies are what got her off of the murder charge. Karma will catch up to her and she’ll have to answer for what she did one day.
Joie says:
Well put, Heather.
I did watch the entire trial and followed it quite closely.
I am absolutely sick to think that inside that head of hers, Casey knows exactly what happened. But nothing she ever says will ever be believed anyways after all of her deceit.
Well, that is assuming that she isn’t so bat shit crazy that she really has no clue what is going on.
Poor Caylee.
Trisha says:
Being a Central Floridian, I was following all this very closely. I think the jury believes that Casey is guilty of covering up a horrific accident. I agree that the evidence to prove murder beyond a reasonable doubt just wasn’t there for the state and that as crazy as Baez was in the defense theory, it was enough to shed doubt.
Like most, I find it unreasonable that she drowned in a family pool and that George and Casey covered it by making it look like a murder that would eventually implicate Casey and her family. That is just bizarre, but for a family dynamic like what theirs seems to be, it’s not too bizarre to possibly believe.
The part that hurts my heart the most, is that whatever happened to little Caylee, she did not get justice and we might never know what really happened to her. I jsut hope wherever that beautiful, bright eyed little girl is, she is happy and dancing in the sun.
I am sure stories like these are especially hard on you Heather.
Sending (((HUGS))) from Florida
ldoo says:
I want to believe she’s innocent, too. I’ve come up with so many scenarios in my head that would point to her not being a child murderer.
But in my gut, I think she did it. Not because of the way she behaved in those 31 days, because you’re right, everyone grieves differently.
But if you look at her police interviews, her jail and phone conversations, listen to lie after lie after lie – she is not to be believed. She does not have a good account for herself during and after her child’s death.
I truly wish common sense were allowed in the court, because to me, common sense – and a boatload of circumstantial evidence – points the finger at her.
Bampa says:
If a person isn’t witness to a crime occurring… then they are right in having a reasonable doubt as to a defendant’s guilt. But if after hearing the evidence in a court room they believe the defendant is responsible for the crime…then they have overcome the burden of reasonable doubt. Most people confuse reasonable doubt with beyond the shadow of a doubt.. they are not the same.
Laurie says:
Totally agree!
lisaj says:
as always you are an inspiration. thank you for your words of grace and wisdom.
Brittani says:
I’m sorry Heather, but I have to disagree. I agree with the part about everyone grieving differently, but I just think there is NO WAY she could be out partying after the death of her daughter.
As a fellow mother who lost a daughter, I feel like I have a unique perspective also. I just know deep in my heart that if it was an accident, she still would have been upset about it. torn up about it, and not SMILING when the not guilty verdict was read.
Laurie says:
I appreciate your always giving people the benefit of the doubt, Heather — in fact, I love that about you. However — in this case, I can’t agree with you. I too have lost a child and have been a juror on a rape case where we had to convict a 21 year old who was only guilty of having concentual sex with a 17 year old (minor in our state at the time). Her father forced her to testify that it was rape, but based on the law there was nothing we could do. I still lose sleep over that. I do understand that the law is the law.
Based on the evidence presented, Casey Anthony had something to do with the death of Caylee. The prosecution didn’t prove that it was intentional, but she was involved. Also, Casey is insisting that while she was partying like a rock-star, she only thought Caylee was missing. For 31 days, and not reporting her missing. Oh. My. Gawd. What kind of human could even breath knowing their child could be being tortured, calling for their mom, cold, hungry, etc. Casey Anthony will be free, most likely by tomorrow and signing a million dollar book deal shortly thereafter. I am sickened and hope justice finds her, in the manner in which she deserves. May poor little Caylee rest in peace and know that millions of people care.
Zoe says:
It hurts me to my core to even think of my beautiful lil girl’s ashes tucked lovingly in a container in my bedroom. I saw Casey Anthony sit in a courtroom and listen intently as people discussed the maggots eating her baby girl’s flesh as her little body lay thrown away in a swamp…and I saw her shed not one tear during that discussion. That speaks volumes to me. And I just don’t understand how any juror could find her not guilty with that.
Nasrene says:
Agreed, Zoe, and that’s the point I keep coming back to, as I mentioned in my waaay above post.
I’ve never experienced the tragic loss of losing a child, and I pray to God that I never know that pain, as Heather does, as my grandmother does, and from what you wrote in your post, as you do too. It’s a pain that when I even think about for a second scares me to my core. It’s why I come hear, and read Heather’s story of coping and resiliency, that she details so honestly and eloquently.
I can’t imagine what that must feel like.
But there is no way–NO WAY–I’d be able to sit in a courtroom for 30-some days as the death of my daughter was discussed over and over again, every detail rehashed, and show no emotion.
The only emotion she showed was at the end. And that’s when broke my heart for baby Caylee.
Sarah R says:
Totally agree! And hugs to you… I’m sorry for your loss.
D. says:
I have followed this case carefully. I reached the same conclusion this jury did. The evidence did not prove murder or child abuse. I believe Casey was “over-charged” with first degree murder and child abuse. Remember she was not charged with either child negligence or illegal disposal of a body.
I believe that Caylee likely died accidentally and that Casey panicked and covered it up. I believe her father was involved. I believed that the family knows much more that they will admit. I believe that the family (not just Casey) lies. I believe that Casey was abused and that she deals with trauma by disassociating.
Until you’ve walked in the shoes of an abuse victim, you can’t possibly know how you might react after the death of a child. Kudos to the jury for having the courage to deliver a just verdict.
I hope Casey can heal and move on with her life.
Chloe says:
As a survivor of pretty traumatic sexual abuse from ages 4 to 10 — I absolutely despise when someone tries to blame their actions on being abused. Take it from someone who was giving blowjobs at age 5 and being raped vaginally by age 6 — there is no way that Casey was sexually abused by her father and then: a. continued to have a loving relationship with him as an adult and b. let him have a relationship with her daughter. I’ve struggled with the ramifications of my abuse for years, but I can tell you that I never allowed my abuser access to me after I became an adult or to any other children in my family.
So, yes I’ve walked in the shoes of an abuse victim and I’m telling you that I totally don’t believe Casey’s claim.
I just hope that Caylee’s at the gates of heaven sending Casey on a straight slide to hell.
Sarah R says:
Exactly, Chloe. I wasn’t ever abused sexually, but verbally and physically, my four siblings and I and my mother were all abused (my mother, he could have killed on numerous occasions, as his grandfather killed my great grandmother before taking his own life). I HATED my father. He has been out of my life for 10+ years. I can’t see myself wanting to have contact with him or live with him if he had done MORE than physical and verbal abuse.
I am nothing but a loving parent and do NOT blame my abuse for anything.
Taryn says:
Your reaction to the verdict was pretty much the exact same as mine. I WANT her to truly be not guilty, because I can’t fathom a parent killing their own child. And now nothing can undo whatever happened to that poor little girl anyway.
Christina says:
I wanted to tell you how much I have learned about he grieving process and about love through your posts, and Mike’s posts. I am not sure that I woulod have ever asked to learn this much, and I am sure you likely would have never volunteered to teach this much, but I feel you have been a true gift.
I can honestly say that I am now more open minded to the fact that I *don’t* know what I would do or how I would feel in any sort of tragic situation. However, before reading your words, I would have been adamant that I would never have done this or that, and there are certain things that must be said to someone grieving. In fact, I think I would have taken offense had I caused further tears by telling someone that God always has a plan. It never occurred to me that when someone grieves, it is up to us as friends to support them wholeheartedly and that means not having any expectations regarding that person’s acceptance of your condolences.
I am sorry to go on a tangent, I just wanted to tell you how I very much appreciate your honesty over tragedies such as this. I really do feel that I am a less judgmental person directly because of your eye opening and honest accounts.
The true tragedy of the Anthony’s story is the death of Caylee, no matter how it came about. A deceased child should be forefront to all of our thoughts rather than anger or elation from the trial.
Rebecca says:
I’m sure the whole family (the grandpa and the mom) had something to do with Casey’s death. It all saddens me greatly.
Avitable says:
Nothing brings back Caylee – I think that’s the most important point and it’s what people seem to be missing. Excellent post.
Laurie says:
No. Nothing brings back Caylee and that’s a huge tragedy, however — people are acting like because Caylee is gone forever, it’s okay to allow a murderer to walk free. Whether it was intentional or an accident, Caylee’s mouth and nose were covered with duct tape and her little, precious body was thrown into a marsh to be eaten by animals. The monster responsible for this must pay the price.
DisneyMom72 says:
It seems to be a continuing argument here, and on social networks, that the outcome “would not have brought Caylee back.” What does that even mean???
I suppose I do not understand this argument or line of thinking because our justice system is not set up to right the wrongs. The purpose of our legal system is to maintain order so that people do not commit these crimes in the first place. So, for example, that mothers who lack morals have a real reason to not kill their children…such as spending the rest of their lives in jail or suffering the death penalty.
I didn’t want Casey Anthony to be found guilty because I thought it would magically bring back Caylee. I wanted to her to be found guilty because I believe she is responsible for the death of her child. And I believe that we must all deal with the consequences of our actions.
And, what I would like to ask each of you who are so quick to use the ” the outcome doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change what happened” argument, would you be defending a not guilty verdict if YOUR child was killed by someone else and you KNEW they did it but got off with, what amounts to, a smack on the hand?
Karen says:
Very well said.
Lindsey says:
Amen.
tonya says:
I agree. SO well put. The last line puts into words what I’ve been thinking for over a day now.
Meme says:
“responsible for the death of her child” – I agree. But the prosecution could not prove HOW. They could not prove that Caylee was murdered. The prosecution should have gone with a lesser charge, such as one inclusive of negligence. No one but Casey knows what happened. I believe it COULD have been an accident, it COULD have been catastrophic negligence, or it could have been something much worse. They did not prove anything beyond a reasonable doubt.
The justice system did not fail; the prosecutors tried the case on completely circumstantial evidence and our justice system does not allow that as standard. Nor should it.
Emerson says:
Oh if you could see me, I’d be standing up and applauding, because this is exactly how I feel.
Heather, I have to respectfully disagree with the statement that no one wins because a child is dead. I think that’s dead wrong. I think justice CAN win. It can, and it should. When someone (anyone, not just a child) is dead because of someone else’s actions, that someone deserves to rot, as far as I’m concerned. And that’s not happening in this case, which is why the US justice system failed Caylee.
No, it won’t bring her back. But that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t happen.
Heather says:
A LOT of people think it would have brought Caylee back in some way. There is a thirst for revenge, a tit for a tat, and that is not what the judicial system is about. You defend a not guilty verdict because that’s what the system decided on. Like I said, none of us were jurors. We don’t know what they saw, we only know what we saw on TV or read about.
I am NOT quick to use the “the outcome doesn’t matter because it doesn’t change what happened” argument. I have EXPERIENCED what happens when someone else was responsible for my child’s life. And she died! It wasn’t murder, but it certainly wasn’t an open and shut case. So to say that I am quick to use this is insulting.
The point of saying that it doesn’t change what happened is to remind people who are so blinded by rage that a child is dead. Too many people are screaming Casey’s name, and not enough are screaming Caylee’s.
Emerson says:
Justice is somewhat about tit for tat though. Not in a vengeance way, and that’s the careful distinction but one of the oldest symbols for the law is scales – and I think what many people are angry about is that they feel the scale hasn’t been anywhere close to balanced.
This isn’t a mother who’s child tragically died because medical professionals couldn’t save her, despite best efforts. This is a mother who’s child died under her care, under suspicious circumstances, who lied about it repeatedly and has definitely caused the doubt that people have. I think it’s safe to say that this case has become the 21st century OJ Simpson, and the anger about that seems pretty deserved to me.
Pamela Gold says:
You’re right, no matter what, Caylee is gone. I’ve shed tears over it even though I didn’t know her, just as I have for your Maddie. It’s a sad, sad world.
Glenda says:
I think it was an accident and she tried to cover it up. I don’t think it was an accidental drowning. She was the last person with Caylee. She went on living for 31 days before the rug was pulled from underneath her. Her parents believed that it was Zanny the Nanny, and when the lies snowballed out of control, then they had her back.
They all lied to save Casey from the death penalty.
The parents statement after the verdict states the “baseless defense”. That says a lot.
Nothing will bring Caylee back!
Laurie says:
I agree wholeheartedly with DisneyMom72.
Susan says:
The last line. The last line says it all. THANK YOU!
Kayla says:
I believe to the marrow of my bones that woman killed her child, and that without question our court system failed miserably.
All roads lead to Casey. If it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and looks like a duck. . .
Then it’s probably a duck.
tonya says:
Agreed. Too bad you or I were not on that jury.
amourningmom says:
Thank you Heather. I like you, would give anything to get my sons back and find it impossible to understand why anyone would harm/kill their child. You are so right – there are no winners here.
Anne Lalla says:
I enjoy your blog, but today’s post really made me think about the “situation” in a different light. You are right…”There are no winners when a child is dead.”
I follow three blogs: Matt Logelin and Jennifer Silvera. Yep, I’m a Minnesota Gal! But my sister and her family live in Windsor, CA, so I have a connection in CA too!
Legally Fabulous says:
I had been hoping you would post about this.
You’re absolutely right… this is a tragedy all around.
Thanks for a level-headed take on a terrible situation.
Denise says:
I also too reserve the judgement of Casey Anthony. I had a friend back in the early 80s who partied too much. In her own way she loved her daughter, but she could not take care of her, so I took over for 6 months. I felt so sorry for her daughter. Maybe Casey had the same problem; too many emotional troubles to take care of a child, but that does mean that she killed the child. I don’t know, but the emphasis on the trial was way, way overdone. There have been a lot of murderes who did not receive the attention that this trial did. And it is true that people react to stress in many different way. I am nother judge, but I reserve the right to question whether she is truly guilty of not. So many act as if they were there; they absolutely know what happened, but prior to the media coverage none of them knew who Casey Anthony was. The hype was unprecidented. I do not know; I was not there, so if she is guilty it will all come out in the wash, but I am not getting caught up in the media hype that she is guilty and everyone is throwing a stone.
Christina says:
Thank you. This is EXACTLY how I have felt about this whole thing. Everyone sits in judgment with no self-reflection or inspired insights or questioning what they think they know. I’m sick of it and sick of the ugliness. A child is already dead, there is no making this better. Nothing can be done “for Caylee” (as everyone is shouting) now. Justice is technically for the rest of us who have to walk this planet with a potential killer. But we have to respect the way our justice system works. Evidence is required otherwise we’d be locking up innocent people left and right.
I just don’t understand why we need to shroud this in more ugliness and form a mob in the streets demanding Casey’s prosecution. I feel like people are just going nuts but I know this case plays on everyone’s emotions (although I feel like we’re cavemen at the moment). We live in a world right now where people go into rages and get all upset over something (remember when Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift’s speech… jeez, people overreacted to that) and then they just forget all about it and move on to the next story a day or two later. It’s like we binge and then purge on information. We take nothing into consideration carefully, it’s all fly-by-night emotions and decisions, easy come, easy go. I blame it all on Fox News… grandiose statements and a puffed-chested, know-it-all, unjustified self-righteousness… it’s all the influence of Fox News. Kidding, kidding. Sort of. Not really.
Dragon says:
Again, FOX didn’t hype this trial. HLN (NBC parent company) carries Nancy Grace and the rest who have been hyping this up for weeks. People tend to rag on FOX, but they are reporting on events in our world and only provide intermittent reports as they come in. They didn’t carry the trial live as HLN did.
Heather says:
HLN’s parent company is Time Warner.
Laurie says:
Christina — there is nothing fly-by-night, unjustified, selfrighteous or puffed-chested about my opinion of Casey Anthony. She was involved in the death of her child….read the evidence. Also, thank you for clearing up the fact that all the ‘hype’ surrounding this case is the fault of Fox News. Wow.
Christina says:
Laurie, I’m glad you caught on that I was talking about YOU in my post. Because I know who you are and I was commenting in order to single you out. Everything is about you. < That's sarcasm. It can also be applied to my comments about Fox News. ("Wow" back at you for not understanding that… jokes, that's all, Laure!)
Just a thought… if a comment doesn't apply to how you feel/act, then maybe it's referencing someone else… a different type of person. No need to defend yourself if you're not guilty of what I talk about: being thoughtless and self-righteous. But you know, now that I think about it, thou doth protest too much!
Sarah R says:
The hardest thing for me to understand is why someone would dispose of her beloved daughter like garbage, left to rot. That is a HUGE crime right there and if it was an accidental drowning, I would call the police… BIG RED FLAG #1. Now of course, it went too long so there wasn’t enough forensic evidence to determine Caylee’s cause of death. It’s unfortunate for Caylee… I do understand that the jury had a tough spot to be in so I don’t blame them. They HAD to prove cause of death and weren’t able to.
Laurie says:
Christina, perhaps you should stop painting with such a broad brush. Read your comment. When you use words like ‘everyone’ to make your point, the implication is that you are speaking to ‘everyone’ who has a certain opinion. In this case, it would be ‘everyone’ who feels that Casey is culpable in her daughters death…and I would be included in that ‘everyone’. I am terribly sorry if I misinterpreted “everyone” to mean just a chosen few. I also apologize if my response sounded like I was defending myself. That was certainly not my intention. I was simply pointing out how rude it is to make such broad, negative, assumptions. Have a nice day.
Melissa says:
And why do you feel that way Laurie? Its because of Nancy Grace. You wouldnt have even known about this if she hadnt been screaming about it for 3 years. There are a LOT of babies that have been killed since 2008, some by their mothers, some by their fathers. Where is your outrage for them? You dont have any, because you dont know about it. PS Nancy Grace is FOX, and she created this shitstorm.
I too believe it was an accident and Casey panicked. And they could have charged her accordingly and the jury would have gotten her for it.
Have a nice day!
Christina says:
So I’m not Melissa but she has a point. There are so many news people and pundits fueling the rage and there are lots of sheep who just follow along. The TV tells them how to think and they don’t even realize they’re sheep. In my opinion, those “reporters” are irresponsible and a bit unethical. Most of them have the mental capacity to understand how their behavior affects society. Also, good point about charging Casey with something else instead of murder, they might have gotten her on it! I won’t pretend I’m a legal expert though. I don’t know what to charge her for. Just a thought.
I’ll leave this with a great joke on Twitter from Seth Myers… “It would be nice, to even things out, for there to be a very graceful woman somewhere named Nancy Rageface.”
Heather says:
HAAAAAAAA that Seth Myers quote is the best ever.
Kristan says:
I have never watched Nancy Grace, not once, and yet I know plenty about this case – clearly more than some here. You don’t need to go to TV media “celebs” in order to find out about cases like this. I do my research through other sources. I watched the entire trial, but I’ve also read up A LOT on this case. Nothing to do with Nancy Whats-her-face – at all, period. Too bad that’s where you seem to get your news from. If you want the truth, look beyond the simple TV hounds. Or, possibly, just use common sense.
Unfortunately, Casey has made a name for herself in what she’s done (kill her child, fyi) which is why she is more marketable than the many other mothers who kill their children everyday. And guess what? She’ll continue to make money – millions even BECAUSE of media hounds like ABC, FOX, CBS, etc etc etc who will pay blood money for interviews with her. She will write books, her family will write books and people will pay for them. Sick, sick, sick.
I am in this 1 million percent for Caylee. I want justice for her. There is no justice in Casey’s verdict. Thus, unfortunately, there is no justice for Caylee. I implore all of you to research and sign the petition for Caylee’s Law. At least there can be justice for others…
Christina says:
Caylee’s law, if it were in place YEARS ago, would still not be relevant in this case. Casey didn’t do any wrong by not reporting her child missing because her child was not missing – she admitted that she lied about that. The only thing “wrong” in not reporting Caylee missing is that she didn’t take that extra step in creating her horrible lie. Not reporting Caylee missing is just not relevant… she wasn’t missing, she was dead! For us to ask, “How can you not report your child missing for 31 days?” is placing ourselves in Casey’s fantasy world. If you want to go on that trip, bring me a unicorn on your way back. To me, this thought process is a complete lack of common sense, unless you just focus on the word “common” in that it’s a common sentiment but “sense” – it doesn’t make sense to me!
And I don’t know who you’re making an assumption about but you don’t know where I get my news from. You know what they say about assumptions, right?
Kristan says:
She admitted about it, sure. But she still lied about it in the first place and Caylee’s Law would allow her to be prosecuted for said lie. You and I seem to agree that she lied about the whole thing and that her daughter was dead the whole time – so I’m not sure why there’s an argument. I believe Caylee’s Law is a type of justice, that’s all.
Also, you and I seem to agree on the frantic media frenzy as well that people are following without any other research into the case – so again, no argument there. My comment on not watching Nancy Grace and getting my info from better sources was directed at Melissa’s original comment to Laurie. I don’t think all people who are outraged about this crime have only become that way by watching Nancy Grace and other trash hosts. That was my only point.
Dragon says:
Please let me correct one comment. Nancy Grace is from HLN (NBC network) not Fox. Fox did NOT sensationalize this trial as HLN did for weeks and still is to this day!!!
Heather says:
Actually, HLN is owned by CNN, which is owned by Time Warner, not NBC Universal.
Christina says:
Laurie, I stand corrected – I shouldn’t have used “everyone.” I apologize! I wasn’t expecting a semantics game but still, I should have been more accurate. I still stand behind my main point, though. A lot of people are using evidence of sociopathic behavior as evidence of murderous behavior. That isn’t justice. Personally, I believe it’s possible that Casey did something dark and henious but I can separate my opinion from fact, something I don’t see a lot of people doing but I wish they would.
Laurie says:
Christina (or Melissa as you are opting to be called in this post), you are now officially embarrassing yourself. Your assumptions are not only ridiculous, they are beyond ignorant and your posts are not worthy of another moment of my time.
Heather, I apologize for having any part in this moronic ridicule. As a mother who has also lost a child, it was never my intention to disrespect you or Caylee by having this discussion turn into something so vile.
Christina says:
WHOA WHOA WHOA! I AM NOT MELISSA!!!!
Laurie says:
Christina, I do sincerely apologize for accusing you of being Melissa. Clearly, that isn’t the case. I also apologize for lashing out at you. Whenever a child dies (especially in this manner), I relive our own tragedy and am filled with uncontrollable emotion. I still believe what I believe, but respect everyone’s opinions.
Tam says:
This. What you said, it’s perfect.
The day after my daughter’s memorial service, I got Very drunk with friends of ours. I spent many weekends following those sad days intoxicated – drowning out my grief. To many, I looked happy, even joyful. My heart was broken into a million pieces and I wasn’t sure how I would breathe again. But I had no idea how to express that, and so I drank.
It would have been an easy leap for people to believe I was ‘fine’. Fortunately, those who knew me well, knew I was not and with love and care they snapped me out of it.
laurie says:
Firstly Tam, I am so sorry for your loss. Secondly, in my opinion this isn’t about someone drowning their grief and presenting a happy-on-the-outside face. This isn’t a tragic story about a mom who lost their child because that child couldn’t be saved medically, despite best efforts made by all. This is about a ‘chick’ who’s child died in her care, under very suspicious circumstances. This ‘chick’ continued to lie for a very long time about everything. This ‘chick’ disposed (or was aware of the disposal) of her baby’s lifeless body like a piece of garbage to rot and for wild animals to eat. This ‘chick’ tried to rationalize all of this because of being allegedly victimized as a child herself. THEN, when found innocent, smiled, seemed grateful and celebratory. I can tell you with ever fiber of my being that after 5 years since the tragic death of our son — I still have a tough time celebrating anything, let alone anything that has to do with his death. I know everyone is different…however, this ‘chick’ exudes bullshit to me. Casey is all aobut Casey, which is the root of my disgust. What about that gorgeous baby girl that she gave birth to and whose life was taken from her?