The other night, Mike and I were watching Friends, as we are wont to do. As we were sitting there, Mike suddenly started laughing and then he said, “And that is why Ross is my favorite Friend.”
Record. Scratch.
Sure, Ross has his funny moments. But is he worthy of being someone’s favorite? It’s like everything I knew about Mike was a lie. I mean, Ross? Seriously?
It used to be that before you got married, you had to answer questions that hinted toward your compatibility. When you said your vows, you knew your spouse’s blood type, if s/he wanted kids, and if you shared the same religious beliefs. Those are important questions. But there are other important questions that should be asked long before you put a ring on it. For example:
1. Do you prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter?
I am a smooth lady, but Mike likes crunch (Rigby likes whatever she can get her paws on).
2. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
I think gel toothpaste is of the devil but Mike loves it.
3. Do you need silence at night, or do you sleep with the TV on?
Mike prefers silence, but the insomniac in me must have something mindless on the TV.
4. Do you sing at concerts?
I think we all remember which sides Mike and I are on with this one.
5. Who is your favorite Friend?
It’s not that there are right answers to these questions…but there are definitely wrong answers. Like saying Ross is your favorite Friend. I mean, who ARE you, Mike Spohr?
I suppose it could be worse…he could not like Friends reruns at all.
I’m going to keep adding on to this list of questions one should ask a potential partner. James and Annabel need to be well prepared!
ClassyFabSarah says:
Ross, REALLY?! With so many other people to choose from!
Cynthia says:
I am cracking up, you & Mike sound exactly like me & my hubs!
We are both Trojan Alums, I’m the insomniac that needs the TV to drown out his snoring (but he requires silence), I sing at concerts (he says goes to hear the artist(s) sing, he can hear me sing at home anytime), but we have no toothpaste/gel preference. He likes Ross, but likes Phoebe too, so there you have it after 22 years of wedded bliss (well, most of the time)!
Jewl says:
thanks for the morning chuckle
Lori says:
Hilarious!
…but Mike’s right with this one.
Meg says:
Add where one falls on the Cilantro Spectrum. I love the stuff and several years into our marriage made a bangin’ homemade salsa with fresh tomatoes. As I placed the salsa and some chips on the coffee table (we were probably watching Friends) I excitedly announced that i had DOUBLED the cilantro because I love it so much. My husband chose that moment to tell me he really can’t stand the stuff. I was like, I don’t believe you disclosed that on the premarital questionnaire…? I believe it was around that time he also informed me is no big fan of shrimp – my favorite crustacean. It is a wonder we are still married, almost 20 years later.
Jenb says:
There is a gene called OR6A2 that leaves some people genetically predisposed to having cilantro taste like soap. So don’t blame your husband, it may be genetic!
Mary says:
Wow. I just found this, and I just googled OR6A2 because I just couldn’t believe it … and it’s true … wow.
Heather says:
Luckily, we both like cilantro! So you can make salsa for us anytime!
miranda says:
Who is YOUR favorite friend?
Heather says:
I would have to say Phoebe or Joey. Phoebe was so funny, but she had such great moments when she was pregnant with the triplets. And Joey JUST for his eyes – nothing makes me laugh harder than when he widens his eyes about something!
Becca Masters says:
i think its got to be Chandler, purely for his dancing. that always cracks me up!
Becca Masters says:
because – THIS. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rQjMw1DApU
Melanie says:
I love them all the same…except Phoebe. I can not stand her for some reason. I think it’s because she made me look at that awful hair for ten years.
Jill says:
Mayo or Miracle Whip?
Carla says:
But I love Ross! He is my favorite as well. I’m pretty sure my husband would choose Rachel for obvious reasons though
Damita H says:
Ross is my favorite too!! I was worried that this is wrong somehow, but clearly we are just special people. Smart people, I think! LOL
divrchk says:
Sports teams. In my case? Red Sox or Yankees.
Heather says:
Oh yes well, we are quite opposed on the sports front as well! Dodgers vs Giants!
Becca says:
I agree with Jill. Mayo or Miracle Whip could be a deal breaker.
Kitty @ LambAround: Life with my Sexy Nerd says:
Silly Mike. Ross isn’t anyone’s favorite!
It could be worse though. When my husband and I met, he said he liked Friends. I assumed he meant he liked Friends in the way all sane people do – by acknowledging that it’s the greatest show ever, watching the reruns, and quoting the episodes whenever applicable to everyday life (which is all the time!) Actually, he meant he’d seen bits of random episodes when other people had Friends on and he didn’t think the show seemed “that bad”. It’s his big flaw.
Colleen says:
Wait wait wait.., how is Ross NOT your favorite Friend?! The fake accent episode? The bagpipes? The keyboard? The teeth whitening? And one word: PIVOT!
He’s the best!
Rachel C. says:
Totally agree! Ross is the best!
Courtney says:
Ross is my favorite too (to the dismay of my fiance!) Heather, you guys should be friends.
Casey P says:
The teeth whitening AND the spray tan.
Katrina says:
The black leather pants, lotion and baby powder.
Melissa says:
Ok, with the PIVOT and tooth whitening reminders, I agree, Ross is my favorite too.
Karen says:
PIVOT!!!! remains my all time TV moment!!! A close second is “The Routine” Ross is awesome!
Shelly says:
Haha, yes! The more I read, the more I remember how funny he really is. I laugh whenever I hear the word pivot since seeing that episode but thanks for the reminder about the fake accent, that was a great Ross moment too!
Adrianne says:
And let’s not forget….my SANDWICH! You ate my SANDWICH?!?!
miriam says:
I was totally going to post the Pivot! Anytime anyone mentions furniture, I think of that episode. Or, the famous trifle episode “It tastes like feet!” While Ross can be the most grating and lame, he is often the funniest. But really, how can you select one friend? It really depends on the episode and context. It’s about their chemistry together and the humor from that. I think Phoebe is probably my least favorite – I find Chandler and Monica to be a better couple than Ross and Rachel – and Joey has really grown on me. Initially I didn’t think much of Matt Leblanc, but he does a lot with a slightly underdeveloped part.
Kris says:
Just reading “It tastes like feet” is making me crack up.
Ross isn’t my favorite, but reading all these Ross memories is upping his credibility.
Tara says:
Hilarious!! This is the best comment ever Colleen! Let’s not forget the spray tanning episode! OMG! And the turkey sandwich? WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!
LOLOL!
Heather says:
But the funniest part of the bagpipes was Phoebe “singing” along!
Jen says:
EXACTLY! Ross is my fave, too.
Maris says:
It’s odd because I realized a few years ago that even if someone said do you like Ross, I would’ve said not really…but then when I think about the funniest moments, it really is Ross’ character who is the best physical comedian of the bunch. My favorite part of my fav episode is the jump he does on the one where everyone finds out (about chandelier and Monica) and they’re in ugly naked guy’s apartment. Phoebe and rachel are trying to get him away from the window and they’re acting all excited that he might get the apartment, he does that ridiculous jump. He is the funniest physically on the show even though I thought I never liked him either
Shelly says:
I totally agree! He doesn’t seem likeable but is the star of many of my favorite moments too. I forgot about this one until just now, I’m cracking up just picturing him jumping with excitement that he might get ugly naked guy’s apartment!
Heather says:
That jump is so hilarious, along with his giggle/shriek!
Lanie says:
Always look for the positive! Yes – it would definitely be worse if Mike did not like Friends at all. xo
Ali says:
My husband won’t watch Friends. I know. I didn’t realize this before we were married, or maybe I just chose to turn a blind eye for love. I feel sorry for him, really. I’ve caught him chuckling at it before, and I want him to just open his heart – I’d be fine with him liking Ross best I’d he’d just watch and enjoy the best show ever.
noelle says:
I just posted on FB last week that I am STILL mad at Ross for cheating on Rachel. Lol
Kelly says:
THEY WERE ON A BREAK!!
Casey P says:
LOL
Casey says:
ROFL!!
Heather says:
HAHAHAHA
MG says:
OMGosh….of course Ross! Totally the best. My favorite Ross line has got to be “Whadya doing there GERT?” when the chubby girl at Monica’s wedding wanted to dance ON TOP of his feet. Classic.
(on a side note, have you ever watched mediocre media on youtube? First thing I thought of was “Of course Ross, don’t be so stupid” from the “drivethrough mayo one”, if you haven’t spent a few hours on their channel, please do.)
Shelly says:
Lol, I love that line too!
Elizabeth says:
Another to add to the list: Does Santa wrap presents or leave them unwrapped? Total deal breaker.
Heather says:
Mike and I are in agreement when it comes to Christmas presents but other than that, we are opposed on this issue!
Michelle says:
Ross? Really?? Really?? That is shocking information! He is clearly at the bottom of the list!
Amy says:
Ross is the star of every single one of my least favorite episodes. The One With The Leather Pants? OMG – If I had been there in real life, I would have throat punched him for sure.
KB says:
This, so much! My husband claims he doesn’t like Friends that much (he is fooling himself), but we both agree that Ross is the most painful to watch.
But I will admit that one or the other of us always has to yell PIIIIVOT when we’re trying to turn something heavy. Or not heavy.
Amy says:
Mike just dropped a couple of notches in my book, too Heather! Ross is by far the most uncool Friend! Total deal breaker. And, 3 divorces?????
Jordan Taylor says:
Ross?!? Really, Mike?!? I would’ve picked Gunther before Ross! (OK that’s probably not true)
Ross’s whiny-ness makes me want to punch him through the TV sometimes.
I will say though, I’m glad he’s a Friends watcher. No show quite like it anymore
Annalisa says:
We’re also flipped on crunchy vs. smooth peanut butter, though our rule is that smooth is the better compromise (I can live without the nutty bits, whereas crunchy peanut butter gives the husband the sads).
Also, marriage is all about the “pickle complement” rule. I hate pickles, but the husband will happily eat mine for me. We’ve asked every couple we know: it’s fairly rare you get two pickle lovers, or two pickle haters who end up staying together (the only couple we knew with two pickle lovers split up in an acrimonious divorce three years into their marriage).
Ryan says:
The first fight we got into after the wedding was at the grocery store! I won about the mayo (must be hellman’s light) and he won about the orange juice (no pulp). I miss pulp… We buy separate kinds of toothpaste, but never really thought about it until now. We both love friends, thank goodness. This was a great post!
akl says:
Ross has some good moments, but I can’t say he’s my favorite becuase I kind of hate his entire storyline (aka Ross and Rachel). I know, I know, that’s the whole point of the show. I’m a Chandler fan, myself. Chandler and Joey have the best relationship story by FAR!
Katrina says:
Agreed. I want to live next door to those two. Or across the hall.
Christina says:
Deal breaker.
The thing is, none of the “friends” are enough on their own. I think singularly, I would be annoyed with each and every one of them. Except maybe Chandler.
I used to choose friends based on how much they liked the Beastie Boys and how often they could work lyrics into regular conversations.
Heather says:
Yes! Together they are amazing. Apart…they’d all be grating!
Melissa says:
I think Joey is the WORST of all of them. I just dont like dumb I guess. Ross again. I am laughing at all the episode reminders. The leather pants one was classic too. I am laughing out loud at work. Which isnt necessarily a good thing. People can generally tell you are not working very hard when you laugh at the computer.
Shelly says:
I’m laughing so hard right now! I love when your Friends references pop up, I actually just commented on the post where you called Annie your little Ross Gellar, so this is hysterical. First, I love when you title your posts “The One…” cause it makes me smile & think of Friends every time. Second, you’re completely right! Ross had a few really standout moments-my favorites are when he gets his leather pants stuck around his ankles on a date & when he keeps yelling “Pivot” when they’re trying to carry his new couch up the stairs to his apartment-but he is NO ONE’s favorite Friend. Except Mike, I guess, haha. Your list of potential spouse questions is great & it’s too funny that you’re still learning new (and apparently disturbing) information about Mike!
Melissa says:
I’m 100% with Mike on this one. Ross was super annoying in the first few seasons but got to be the funniest character.
Kristin says:
What?! But Ross is so hilarious in such a nerdy way. I agree with some of the others that some of the funniest Friends moments involve Ross. Leather Pants?! Are you kidding me?? I can’t even think about that episode without laughing? Spray tan and teeth whitening? We were on a Break?! Just too funny.
Tracy says:
These comments above are BEGGING me to do a Friends marathon. Unfortch, I didn’t check the fine print and married a non-Friends fan.
Margie says:
My husband recently told me he isn’t a fan of The Goonies and Fraggle Rock. WTF? Had I known…..
Heather says:
GASSSSSSSP!!!!
Margie says:
I know!
He did save himself with a love of Friends, Seinfeld and Law & Order.
Jen Wenzel says:
This is hilarious! I have to say that Ross is in 1st for my favorite too and my husband always goes with Chandler. We’ve had many discussions about it over the years.
Adrianne says:
But wait, you never told us who YOUR favorite Friend is!
Heather says:
Joey or Phoebe! Phoebe was so funny, and she had such great moments when she was pregnant with the triplets. And Joey JUST for his eyes – nothing makes me laugh harder than when he widens his eyes about something!
Taylor says:
The Rachel/Joey storyline was awful but The One Where Ross is Fine has some of the funniest acting of the entire series. When Ross bursts into tears and says “I’m sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining” I lose it every single time.
Kari says:
Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. I mean, what is life without love? … O is for OH WOW! V is for this very surprising turn of events which I am STILL fine with, by the way. EEEEEE! is for how extreeemeely normal I find it that you two are together…
I wanna cry laughing just thinking about it! Ross isn’t my favorite either (reppin’ the Chandler fan club) but he has his hilarious moments…
Lindsay says:
That episode is GREAT!!!!!!!!!! Along with the lines already quoted, I die every time at the “Ding” – Super confused look on Ross’s face – “I don’t even know what that’s for” – Wanders into kitchen. “I GUESS I MADE TATER TOTS!” Hahahaha. Love Ross. Love ’em all.
Heather says:
haha, that line is funny, I just watched this one a couple nights ago!
Rita Mannelli says:
Maybe he’s Mike’s lobster?!
Julie says:
100% Ross. He had me dying when he was screaming “I WASN’T FARTING” at that little girl at the wedding but it was actually Mona. Ha!! MY SANDWICH was something we used to bellow at our little girl to get her to open her mouth so we could shove food in it when she was little. ROSS!!
Paula says:
I agree with your list Heather except: I have no favorite Friend because, well, I never really watched it. *ducking*
Anna says:
Phoebe is definitely at the bottom of the list for me. I’d say Ross is down there, too, but the comments are reminding me of a lot of great moments of his.
So the thing that constantly happens in my marriage is I refer to/compare something to a Friends episode all the time, and my husband doesn’t get it because he spent most of the run of that show in law school and then working crazy hours as a young lawyer. But then he quotes Simpsons episodes all the time, and I don’t get it because I never really watched that show. We’ve learned to accept these differences in one another! Haha!
Chris says:
Oh I so agree- I just can’t stand Phoebe. I’ve actually argued with the TV about how I’d “cut her out” if she were MY friend (And Ross is down there). Fortunately, my husband while he thinks I’m a little extreme agrees with me- we both love Chandler.
Sadly, I’ve had to give up the pulp in my orange juice.
And we each get our own toothpaste. I ALWAYS slept in silence, but I’ve gotten used to the mindless TV. But, I’m picky about what it is because I wake up so much during the night. So, I control the remote.
Karen says:
How about the one where his shampoo exploded in his luggage and he says “why do bad things always happen to good people?” And Rachel says ” I guess this is a bad time?’ And he says “YA THINK????” Cracks me up every time.
Sarah says:
Chandler’s my favourite, but David Schwimmer is the most talented comedic actor out of all of them, I think.
Jess says:
You guys forgot about Ross and his “kara-tay” and “unagi”… hahaha hiding and trying to scare unsuspecting women?! Pure comedic awesomeness.
Jill says:
Aahhh…. salmon skin roll!
Amy says:
Now I am laughing my head off at Phoebe singing along to the bagpipes. Eeee eeeeeeeee eeeee. If you watch closely you can see Jennifer Aniston laugh for real. Who wouldn’t?!?
I think my favorite friend is Rachel, pre-Joey. Once she started liking Joey she got childish and weird. Ross and Chandler are tied for second.
Heather says:
Seriously, that is one of my favorite moments ever! And I don’t know how they ALL didn’t start laughing at that!
Amy says:
Oooh what about when Rachel is at the ob and she tells Ross to seriously breathe louder. His response of “you know, we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that’s half human, half pure evil!”
Hahahaha, I have tears in my eyes.
Meg says:
My husband HATES Ross (which is hysterical to me, because if I had to pick which Friend he is, he’d be Ross.)
Jackie M says:
My nineties self would have completely agreed with you…I found Ross to be sometimes funny but mostly annoying and whiny. However, in watching reruns over the years, I’ve developed a new appreciation for Ross and his quirks. David Schwimmer is a phenomenal comedic actor! In addition to the scenes people have already mentioned that have me laughing out loud, let’s not forget such gems as him playing the keyboard, his hand gesture for “keep it down”, plus all of the Ross-Monica stuff. And while I can’t say that he’s MY favorite, I can see where he might be a guy’s favorite character.
I, too, love when you talk about Friends! I think you should create a new blog category where you discuss Friends topics and we can all weigh in! Do I need a life or what
JMH says:
Chandler M Bing is the BEST Friend…ever!My husband even looks like Matthew Perry
Marin D says:
I love, love Friends. My husband likes the show but he can’t figure out how I can watch it over and over again. I liked Ross in the beginning but then he started to lose me. And I hated Monica at the beginning of the series, but by the end of the series, I love her.
Becca Masters says:
OMG. I am in stitches reading the comments here.