My mom has been going through a lot of her old boxes lately, unearthing some amazing treasures. She’s been sorting the items that were in and old metal box my grandmother (her mother) used to own. Inside of it was letters, old confirmation photos, and info on my uncle’s burial. There are so many questions I wish I could ask my grandparents about our family history. My mom and I are especially curious when it comes to my great-grandfather, who died very young – we think he was only about 25 or 26.
When he died, my great-grandmother was only 24 years old, with two very small children (my grandmother was only six months old). He was one of those subjects no one ever spoke about, so all information about him had to be pieced together. We do know that he was in the army, where he was gassed as part of his training, and we think he died of complications from gas exposure. My great-grandma had a picture of the two of them on their wedding day hanging in her room, and I was always struck by how handsome he was. Still, he was always a mysterious figure, because even as a small child I understood that the man in the picture was not someone we ever talked about.
This week, my mom discovered a small notebook that had belonged to my great-grandfather.
It has a lot of random doodles, math problems, and addresses, but a few pages in he’d started treating it like a journal instead of just an address book. It’s from 1920, when he was courting my great-grandmother. He pined hard for her.
I scanned the pages of the journal so my mom and I could blow up the writing and transcribe what he said. Some highlights:
~”Tonight Aug. 9 1920 I am in a strange frame of mind. It seems that since I have read my diary I am back again where I was two years ago. I feel a bit lonesome, perhaps it is because I am stranded or maybe because the only girl I really love is away.”
~”Tis but like the candle burns brightly for a time, then it will flicker and die out, but me along life’s pathway I shall struggle with a vision of her fair face before me to guide me to higher ideals. If it should be that I fail to win her, indeed my heart will be heavily laden, but I shall smile thru.”
~”I have dreamed of her not in passion but in purity and beauty. ”
~” Like a cool breeze upon the desert sands or the cool ministerings of mother’s gentle hands upon the feverish brow of her child, such is the effect she has on me. ”
~”To Him above I say this prayer may the Great God on High guide this pure maid along the straight and narrow road to both earthly and heavenly happiness. May every day of her life be lighted up by the eternal fires of heavenly love. In the name of our Heavenly Father may there not be one blemish or spot upon her soul. If it is thy will that she is not for me, it is my prayer that whoever may win her shall be true, kind, and loyal hearted, and never cause her one moment of bitterness. May her life be one round of sunshiny days. My love for her is inseparable from my soul. Tis but fifteen minutes and we shall have the new day. God bless you Mary.”
I mean….damn.
He also wrote about his dream to become a writer, and the things he hoped he could buy for my great-grandmother if she married him (like a parlour house). He has some pages of prose as well.
And this large sea called
waves and storms of trouble
seem to engulf us today hit
on the morrow there is sure
to come calm and quiet
the sun in all its magnificent glory will shine
upon the new day dispelling
the sharp pangs of bitter remembrances
leaving only faint memories
of the storm
A lot of the pages are incredibly faded, and I had to use special software to darken the writing so it could be read. The journal itself isn’t very big, only about three inches wide and five inches tall. Still, my great-grandfather filled every page.
It’s amazing to have this piece of family history that’s almost 100 years old, and to be able to hold in my hands something that he once poured his heart into. I still have so many questions, but if this is all we get, this isn’t too shabby. It makes me happy to know that while the time he and my great-grandmother had together was short, it was bursting with love.
DefendUSA says:
I am always struck by the beauty of the words and the penmanship. I bought several of these journal/business books at a flea market and really learned alot about what that generation aspired to, valued. You are so lucky to have that!!
Valerie says:
What an incredible find!! How bittersweet, this love story… Don’t you wish you could have even five minutes to meet and talk to some of the amazing people from your past?!? What a full heart your great-grandfather had, and passed down through the generations!!
MUCH LOVE from Ohiooooooo
Valerie
roshan says:
Blast from the past! Reading his diary is like time traveling to the past and sitting down beside him as he writes these words. Absolutely mind blowing.
Mel says:
Wow!! Incredible. Not much else to say.
Casey says:
Wow. Thanks for sharing – so amazing!!
Latie says:
Wow! That’s so amazing. It’s clear to see you have your talent for writing going through your veins.
I lost my grandmother last year and it hurts to know that when she left us so did so many amazing stories. It’s like a part of our history is gone too. Because of that, my sister and I got my mom a book called My Mom – Her Story, Her Words. We found it on Amazon. Its a small book with a lot of prompts. Some light (“How did your family celebrate Christmas when you were a girl?”) and some heavier (“What’s one thing you didn’t have growing up that you wanted to make sure your kids had?”). It’ll be so great to have this book, in her unique handwriting, to give to my kids and grandchildren.
My only complaint is that the book is that the book is SO small, probably about 3×5. If I were crafty, I would have used the prompts and made my own book on standard sized paper. It’s been hard for my mom to answer some of the heavier questions on just 10-20 lines.
Here’s a link in case you want to check it out: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1932319638/ref=pd_aw_sim_b_6?refRID=17HD3CXSXEHJQBS8F031
Sinead says:
That’s a great idea. Thanks for sharing, Latie. I think I will get one for both my parents. I was recently talking to my dad about my grandparents (who are all dead) who had gone abroad for their honeymoon (I live in Ireland). This was very unusual for the 1930s when they married. My dad had no idea why they did this as they wouldn’t have been considered well off. I think it is sad then stories
like this are lost to generations.
Kelli says:
I am so in awe…it blows me away how eloquent he was and makes me wish people still wrote like that today. What an amazing gift you were given.
Susan says:
Heather, this is awesome. Items like this are simple priceless. And what beautiful writing. My sister and I have a wonderful memory of spending an evening with my Dad in January 2012, mom was recovering and sleeping and Dad sat with us girls for hours talking and telling stories of the past. So unusual for my Dad to do this and we loved it. We talked until 2AM. Unknown to us, Dad would be diagnosed and gone in December of same year. Oh those precious memories. Thank you for sharing!!
Terri says:
Wow, he had a way with words. I’m teary just reading it. What a gift from the past.
Lindsay says:
I see where your gift from words comes from. Wow.
Lindsay says:
*for words
Must have more coffee.
Jen T. says:
So special! What an incredible thing to have.
Jesabes says:
So amazing! Did your great-grandmother ever remarry?
Heather says:
nope!
Kate says:
Amazing! What a treasure for your family. His handwriting is exquisite.
Glenda says:
That’s truly awesome LOVE and to hear your grandma never remarried and widowed at 24 is being faithful till the end. Love love his handwriting! Thanks for sharing!
kw says:
I got chills reading this post – there are so many eerie similarities to my great-grandparents. My great-grandfather fought in WWI and married my great-grandmother upon his return. They had 2 daughters. He died from complications from gas exposure when my grandmother was about 7 months old. They were only married for 4 years before he died, and my great-grandmother never remarried. Over Christmas I found a box of my great-grandmother’s notebooks, photos, and letters that I pored over for hours, trying to learn more about the great-grandfather none of us ever got to meet.
Just wanted to share because the similarities are so striking! Amazing that you have that journal.
Lanie says:
How fantastic!! I am so glad you and your mom found his notebook. Thank you for sharing – true love – I am so glad that they did end up together (even if it was not long enough).
Nicole says:
That is amazing to have something like that! My grandfather once gave me an old book of poetry. I loved that book. I only wish that younger me had put it somewhere safe so I knew where it was now.
Andrea says:
What a blessing your mom found that, and you’re able to find out about the amazing man your great grandfather was. What struck me most was his desire to be a writer. As his great grandchild, you are living out his dreams as a writer and reaching countless people through your blog posts. He would be so proud of you and how you are able to touch peoples lives through your written word.
Jeanie says:
I love coming across things like this. After my mom died (four years after my dad), my sister and I found letters my mom had written to my dad during WW II.
Timolyn says:
I am so glad you shared these! I am going to save this page. I have been thinking a lot about our family and have a lot of questions.
alimartell says:
Oh I love this so much.
GreenInOC says:
What an incredible treasure!
nic S says:
Wow.
Lesley says:
That is so, so special. Thank you for sharing
Ciji says:
Wow, I’m so jealous of you for having such a keepsake and of your grandmother for being in an era where love was so passionate and strong! I work in an assisted living building and i love reading old journals and love letters. One resident i had saved all her and her husband’s letters while he was in the war and would read them almost nightly. One guy told me how he just saw his wife once and he knew he wanted to marry her. He told me of how he had his mother help court her and now he waits to be reunited with the love of his life because everyday without her means nothing.
Jerilynn says:
Heartbreakingly beautiful story and incredible writing. Thank you for sharing. Reminds me of how far removed we seem to be from this in a society where all is electronic and sometimes impersonal. Very glad you got to experience such an important and moving piece of your family’s history.
Jacquelyn | lark & linen says:
This is unbelievable! What an amazing treasure to find.
Paula R. (fka preTzel) says:
I have love letters that were written between my husband’s grandparents when they were dating and married. At one point his grandfather had to live separate from the family for work and so they wrote back and forth all the time. There are probably more than two hundred letters. I need to get them typed up to preserve them.
ksj says:
Beautiful. The quality of the scans is great. Which scanner did you use?
Heather says:
I used an HP Photosmart eStation!
Kim says:
I am fortunate to have journal entries from a multiple-times great grandmother who lived during the mid-1800’s. She writes of slavery and of her courtship with my grandfather.
I also recently got my hands on a travel journal written by my grandmother when my father’s family was on a trip to Europe the summer my father graduated.
So much fun to have a personal connection to history, feel connections with past family and see other sides of our loved ones.