Heather: Hey! All our shows start this week!
Mike: Oh yeah? Like which ones?
Heather: All of them! But I know you’ll be excited about Community and The Office.
Mike: Yes, those two are my favorites.
Heather: I’ve missed Jeff and the gang.
Mike: Which one is Jeff?
Heather: Wha? He’s the main character. Played by my TV boyfriend Joel McHale.
Mike: I don’t know their names.
Heather: WHAT? How do you not know the names of the characters on your favorite show? Do you know the names of the characters on The Office?
Mike: Um…Steve Carrell?
Heather: Oh my gosh! His character’s name is MICHAEL! Of ALL the names, you should know that one. Also, he’s not on the show anymore. It was a very special episode.
Mike: I know the characters, I just don’t know their names. I recognize them visually.
Heather: You would have been screwed in the time of radio.
Mike: Ha ha. I can still talk about plot lines, I just know them in my head as “the secretary” or “the preppy one.”
Heather: I don’t understand this at all. Do you know the names of The Friends?
Mike: Um…the dumb one, Courteney Cox, Brad Pitt’s ex-wife…
Heather: My head is going to explode.
Mike: One of them is named Phoebe!
Heather: I think we might have to divorce.
Mike: What, so you know ALL their names?
Heather: Yes! I know all the characters on the shows I watch.
Mike: But you watch like, twenty different shows.
Heather: The characters are my friends.
Mike: That’s creepy. So, on The Office, what’s the name of the ex-fiance of the old secretary that’s now married to the tall guy?
Heather: Pam is married to Jim, and her ex-fiance’s name is ROY, that’s so easy.
Mike: He’s a minor character, and you know his name.
Heather: He is not minor, a minor character is Madge, the female warehouse employee.
Mike: Wow. OK, what’s the name of January Jones’ daughter on Mad Men?
Heather: Sally Beth. You’re not going to stump me.
Mike: I shudder to think of the valuable brain cells you’re using to remember these things.
Heather: These are important things! You never know who is going to suddenly become a bigger character.
Mike: I think you’re right about our having to divorce.
Heather: I think that it’s weird you remember NO character names.
Mike: I think it’s weirder you remember ALL character names.
Heather: Well, I’m going to blog about this conversation and we’ll see who is right.
Mike: Great. Don’t come crying to me when everyone calls you a weirdo!