Heather: Hey! All our shows start this week!

Mike: Oh yeah? Like which ones?

Heather: All of them! But I know you’ll be excited about Community and The Office.

Mike: Yes, those two are my favorites.

Heather: I’ve missed Jeff and the gang.

Mike: Which one is Jeff?

Heather: Wha? He’s the main character. Played by my TV boyfriend Joel McHale.

Mike: I don’t know their names.

Heather: WHAT? How do you not know the names of the characters on your favorite show? Do you know the names of the characters on The Office?

Mike: Um…Steve Carrell?

Heather: Oh my gosh! His character’s name is MICHAEL! Of ALL the names, you should know that one. Also, he’s not on the show anymore. It was a very special episode.

Mike: I know the characters, I just don’t know their names. I recognize them visually.

Heather: You would have been screwed in the time of radio.

Mike: Ha ha. I can still talk about plot lines, I just know them in my head as “the secretary” or “the preppy one.”

Heather: I don’t understand this at all. Do you know the names of The Friends?

Mike: Um…the dumb one, Courteney Cox, Brad Pitt’s ex-wife…

Heather: My head is going to explode.

Mike: One of them is named Phoebe!

Heather: I think we might have to divorce.

Mike: What, so you know ALL their names?

Heather: Yes! I know all the characters on the shows I watch.

Mike: But you watch like, twenty different shows.

Heather: The characters are my friends.

Mike: That’s creepy. So, on The Office, what’s the name of the ex-fiance of the old secretary that’s now married to the tall guy?

Heather: Pam is married to Jim, and her ex-fiance’s name is ROY, that’s so easy.

Mike: He’s a minor character, and you know his name.

Heather: He is not minor, a minor character is Madge, the female warehouse employee.

Mike: Wow. OK, what’s the name of January Jones’ daughter on Mad Men?

Heather: Sally Beth. You’re not going to stump me.

Mike: I shudder to think of the valuable brain cells you’re using to remember these things.

Heather: These are important things! You never know who is going to suddenly become a bigger character.

Mike: I think you’re right about our having to divorce.

Heather: I think that it’s weird you remember NO character names.

Mike: I think it’s weirder you remember ALL character names.

Heather: Well, I’m going to blog about this conversation and we’ll see who is right.

Mike: Great. Don’t come crying to me when everyone calls you a weirdo!