That last hour of the day before Mike comes home is always the longest. Annabel is pretty over me, and I am pretty over playing games on the floor. I’ve started instituting quiet time for that last hour, which keeps Annie busy and lets me make dinner.
Yesterday I was nursing a bit of a headache, so instead of making dinner I was laying on the floor next to James, while Annie colored a few feet away. I was semi-dozing when I suddenly heard BAM BAM BAM at the front door. Annie started screaming, “It’s Daddy! He can’t come in! I haven’t finished his picture!” Rigby was going nuts, James began crying, it was chaos. And since I’d been drifting to sleep, I had no idea what was going on.
If I’d been more clear-headed I might have remembered that something similar happened a few years ago (although later at night), but in that moment I was just trying to figure out what everyone was yelling about. Then there was another BAM BAM BAM on the door. It was the kind of knocking/banging you do when you really want to get the attention of the people inside the house. A quick glance at the clock told me it was way too early to be Mike.
My gut told me it wasn’t good, but I walked quietly to the door to look out the peephole…and saw darkness. That threw me, because I’d turned the porch light on earlier for Mike. So, something was blocking the peephole. I turned around and saw Annabel, who’d walked up behind me. I was suddenly very aware that she was watching me. Instead of freaking out, I calmly walked her back into our living room, sat her on the floor next to James, and did what any rational thirty-four-year-old woman would do: I sent my mom and dad a text message that read something like, “OMG CRAZINESS AT MY FRONT DOOR FREAKING OUT SEND DAD I LOVE YOUUUU.”
My parents live close by, so they were here quickly and my dad did a sweep of our property. He found nothing, thank goodness. They stayed at our house until Mike came home. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this irrational fear of people bursting into my house. The only thing that could make it scarier is if it were giant spiders bursting into my house. With fire. Even though we live in an extremely safe neighborhood, I always have this nagging fear that something bad is about to happen. I don’t really know what to do about that.
At least I kept it together in front of the kids. Annie had no idea I was scared, and for that I’m glad. She did want to know why we weren’t opening the door, but I was able to deflect her attention elsewhere. I just need to get a handle on this. I can’t be getting freaked out by what was likely a group of kids playing pranks. I don’t want my kids to grow up with (my) irrational fears. Except the giant spiders with fire, who wouldn’t be scared of those?