That last hour of the day before Mike comes home is always the longest. Annabel is pretty over me, and I am pretty over playing games on the floor. I’ve started instituting quiet time for that last hour, which keeps Annie busy and lets me make dinner.
Yesterday I was nursing a bit of a headache, so instead of making dinner I was laying on the floor next to James, while Annie colored a few feet away. I was semi-dozing when I suddenly heard BAM BAM BAM at the front door. Annie started screaming, “It’s Daddy! He can’t come in! I haven’t finished his picture!” Rigby was going nuts, James began crying, it was chaos. And since I’d been drifting to sleep, I had no idea what was going on.
If I’d been more clear-headed I might have remembered that something similar happened a few years ago (although later at night), but in that moment I was just trying to figure out what everyone was yelling about. Then there was another BAM BAM BAM on the door. It was the kind of knocking/banging you do when you really want to get the attention of the people inside the house. A quick glance at the clock told me it was way too early to be Mike.
My gut told me it wasn’t good, but I walked quietly to the door to look out the peephole…and saw darkness. That threw me, because I’d turned the porch light on earlier for Mike. So, something was blocking the peephole. I turned around and saw Annabel, who’d walked up behind me. I was suddenly very aware that she was watching me. Instead of freaking out, I calmly walked her back into our living room, sat her on the floor next to James, and did what any rational thirty-four-year-old woman would do: I sent my mom and dad a text message that read something like, “OMG CRAZINESS AT MY FRONT DOOR FREAKING OUT SEND DAD I LOVE YOUUUU.”
My parents live close by, so they were here quickly and my dad did a sweep of our property. He found nothing, thank goodness. They stayed at our house until Mike came home. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this irrational fear of people bursting into my house. The only thing that could make it scarier is if it were giant spiders bursting into my house. With fire. Even though we live in an extremely safe neighborhood, I always have this nagging fear that something bad is about to happen. I don’t really know what to do about that.
At least I kept it together in front of the kids. Annie had no idea I was scared, and for that I’m glad. She did want to know why we weren’t opening the door, but I was able to deflect her attention elsewhere. I just need to get a handle on this. I can’t be getting freaked out by what was likely a group of kids playing pranks. I don’t want my kids to grow up with (my) irrational fears. Except the giant spiders with fire, who wouldn’t be scared of those?
Stephanie says:
Ok so I was scared just reading this post. I have a similar fear of people bursting into my home and when the peep hole is blacked out… hello why is someone puposely doing that unless they want to freak you out? Do me a favor even though you don’t know me (it will seriously make me feel better and I am positive you as well) install one of those cameras at the front of your house. If this ever happens again, all you do is turn on your TV, go to the “SPOHR” channel and get a look at whoever is at your door. Please do this.
defendUSA says:
Lots of people don’t like weapons. But, maybe they are indeed a necessary evil. I have finally relented. No one wants to have to use it, but it can offer you some sense of security to be able to protect you and the family if needed. Everyone took a safety class and it is only accessible to the legal adults at home.
Sue says:
Heather,,,,,,,
I was going to say exactly what Stephanie suggested,,,,,,,,,please do it!!!!!
Laura says:
I agree, install security cameras, front and back doors. PLEASE do not keep a gun in the house, especially with small kids around. They can’t take safety classes and you can never assure that they won’t be able to get access to them. Some good info here:
http://www.homesecuritystore.com/blog/2012/04/30/will-a-gun-protect-your-home/
Allison says:
You can assure it if you keep the gun in a small safe with a 4 digit key-code. That’s what most safety training classes recommend. Along with age-appropriate safety training for the kids (which at Annie’s age means hands off). They also tell you to do “home invasion drills” like many of us do “fire drills” with kids.
Stacey says:
That kind of stuff freaks me out so bad. I’ve watched entirely too many Criminal Minds episodes to even begin to have the rational “teenagers playing a prank” thought that you had. Whenever strangers knock on my door my kids become excited and start yelling for me to open the door. All I ever want to do is have them walk quietly with me to the panic room. Note to self: Build panic room. Im glad your parents were able to come over and help you out!
shannon says:
OMG, I would have been terrified..and I don’t know if I would have held it together like you did. You certainly held it together very well. My kids are a bit older, they would have probably known I was scared. One thing we do have in common is that not so fun hour before Dad gets home….here it’s usually filled with talking back and complaining about what I’m cooking for dinner!
Kelley says:
Heather, my heart was racing reading this. It is truly m biggest fear as well and I ended up rearranging my bedroom so I couldn’t see the hallway/shadows/imaginary anything while I try to fall asleep.
I recommend a front door camera and Channel Spohr. In “safe” neighborhoods people usually comes to the front door. I’m anti posts like this!! Stay safe please!
Jenn says:
Heather….that IS Scary!!! Who BANGS like that?!?! The blacken peep hole really bothered me to read. That’s just not right! I like Stephanie’s idea (although, I didn’t know there was such a thing). We’ve had our share of like jerks in my safe neighbourhood too and I must say….it SUCKS!!! I’m glad you and the kids were safe…that’s the important. God Bless your parents for being so supportive & coming so quickly when you were so frightened. Sending you lots of HUGS & now that I think of it….I think maybe I should come to LA & keep you company when Mike is at work? Work for you? Works for me!! xo
Mel says:
Heather you absolutely did the right thing. It is nice that your mom and dad are so close. I also agree with Stephanie. I also wouldn’t call it an irrational fear. If you don’t fear, you aren’t always careful. Some people just open the door without even thinking about the peep hole. Stay safe.
Emily says:
Heather, I don’t mean to feed into any anxiety but that is terrifying. Anyone who purposely tries to frighten someone in their own home is not a good person (even if it’s a teenager.) That last hour is difficult enough, you certainly don’t need fear on top of everything else. When I was little and alone with my mom at night, I always felt uneasy. I don’t remember my mom being on edge, so I don’t know if my feelings were caused by her anxiety or what, but your children might pick up on your fears (which is normal and natural and ok!) Do you have an alarm system? It helped me to feel super safe, especially on the nights that I was “home alone” with mom. And make sure your blinds are closed!
Janice says:
Aaagh now I am hyperventilating….always a big fear of mine. Feeling so bad for you and know exactly how you feel. I would agree with the camera comments. xxoo
Casey @Waffling says:
One time in University my friends and I woke up to someone banging on our door at 4am. It wouldnt stop! We ended up calling the cops and it turns out it was a VERY drunk person who thought our house was theirs. The cops said we did 100% the right thing by calling.
Anyway they ended up calling this poor person an ambulance because they were THAT drunk and even injured (no way we knew that having not opened the door), so it was all good for everyone in the end since they got the medical attention they needed
Heather says:
OMG scary!!!
ColleenMN says:
I would have called 911. If it had been a very bad person who meant to do bad, your parents could have been in trouble. Just this past week, a man banged on a door in Mpls and claimed he was being chased. The homeowner let him in, locked the doors and then was shot by the crazy guy. If you fear for your safety in any way, call 911. They can usually respond quickly and are equipped to deal with a potential nutcase. A camera is also a great idea, as is an intercom to talk without opening the door. By the way, when my kids were little, I installed a sliding lock up about 6 feet on the door so they couldnt open the door before I could get there!
Johanna says:
When I read this post, I thought of the same story from earlier this week in Minneapolis (I live in the city). It was terribly sad.
Heather says:
Oh my god, this is a terrible story! How awful. Ugh.
I actually have a lock just like that so Annie can’t open the door. We put it on when we realized she was tall enough to reach the doorknob!
Brooke says:
That would have scared the bejeezus out of me! I’m so glad you’re okay. I agree with getting a camera and maybe an alarm system, just in case you’re not there. Spiders would have been easier to deal with in this case. And I HATE spiders. But at least I know they aren’t knocking on the door.
Kitty Deschanel says:
We’re getting ready to build a house, and my husband has been strongly against adding a security camera by the front door because he thinks it will look ugly. This post has convinced me that he’s just going to have to suck it up and get me my camera! When I was in college, a drunk, angry man I’d never met actually did try to break my front door down while I was home alone at about 4am, while screaming that he was going to rape and kill me. Thank goodness my apartment complex had a security guard (and that I’d thought to grab my cell phone when I went to check the door!) Now, I jump a mile whenever there’s an odd sound in my house.
I’m glad everyone is safe over in the Spohr household
Karen says:
When I was 21 and living in a small apartment alone, a high, angry man I did not know did break in and rape me for hours, beat me up a little, and abduct me briefly. My husband used to leave our doors unlocked every night when he went to bed (after me). I finally had to remind him I had good reason to be jumpy about it! Get that camera, smart lady!
Damita H says:
Wow, Karen, I am so sorry that happened to you. Really happy that you made it out of that horrible ordeal.
Kitty Deschanel says:
Oh Karen. I’m so angry for you. Reading that gave me goosebumps. I wish we lived in a society that would never, ever let a horrible man like that back on the streets. We are 100% getting that camera!
Heather says:
Karen, oh my gosh, I am SO SORRY that happened to you! I am seriously so horrified. Yeah, you have MORE than enough reason to want that door locked. OMG. xoxo
Heather says:
That’s so scary, Kitty! I think that if you’re building a house, there MUST be a way to add a security camera so it’s subtle and not ugly. Insist on it!
Caressa says:
This happened to us — banging to see if anyone answered so they could know to break in if there wasn’t a response. I know you didn’t want to interact, but they were probably trying to see if you were home, so a response is a good thing. So very scary.
Heather says:
Ugggggh. Well, they got a reaction out of Rigby, so at least they knew a very loud dog was home!
Aubrie says:
Oh, I hear you girl. I am terrified of that. I hate being home by myself at night. I try to rationalize and say “ummm..you are a 31 year old woman, chillax” but it doesn’t help. I’m sure having kids makes the fear worse. Good thing your parents are close.
Jessica Stringer says:
SO.FLIPPING.SCARY!!!! I have a one year old and if we are home alone, I never answer the door and we always keep them locked. Too many crazies out there! Glad you all are safe!
Stacey says:
I live out in the country on a gravel road so I’m shocked how many people who live in town/cities have had this happen to them? People are so odd – if it was a prank that is.
My husband teases me a lot because he’ll come home after me and the door will be locked. I don’t care – I’m locking it! If I’m in the shower, in the basement, upstairs in another room with the TV on there’s no way I’d hear someone sneak into my front door. Plus if someone is out in the middle of no where, banging on my door and I can’t see their car outside… NO GOOD can come of that.
Glad you’re all safe – scary situation and I was terrified of how the post would end!
Amy says:
You may have already done this, but it is a good time to remind Annie that she should never open the door by herself if someone is knocking/ringing the doorbell. She doesn’t need big, gory details why she shouldn’t open the door, just a simple statement that an adult should make the decision. It also might be worth getting some motion sensor lights that are really bright and shine in your entryway. Even goofy teenagers aren’t going to want a bright spotlight on their stupidness! (And I think giant spiders would shy away from it as well!!)
Stephanie says:
Good tip. My older daughter, who was three at the time, opened the door to some Jehovah’s Witnesses while I was upstairs. I didn’t hear the doorbell ring, but she did and came upstairs and brought me a pamphlet. I freaked out, she started crying at my reaction, but she’s never done it since.
Heather says:
Yes definitely!! I have told her that a few times but it’s always good to remind her. I also have a lock up high that she can’t reach, so luckily she can’t open the door even if she wants to.
Lisa says:
Someone else mentioned this above, but often criminals are attempting to see if anyone is home because they want to break into an unoccupied house. I used to be a 911 operator, and I’ve heard of this same situation far too many times. They don’t want you to be able to give a description of what they look like if you called 911, too. I know when I was younger my parents used to tell me to be quiet if someone knocked on the door so they would think no one was home, but that’s exactly what they’re looking for in this day & age.
Lisa says:
This is the very reason hubby had a security syestem installed. Infact the company came to the door gave me the details and left since I said hubby has to talk to them. Hubby FREAKED out when they did not offer proper ID and asked questions. He called the cops and they came and talked to him, the officer lives in our area and had saw theese people before and was aware. Long story short they came back with proper ID and spoke to hubby, we now have a geat system with a great monitoring discount. All doors are alarmed so I know when a child comes and goes thru any door (they all have thier own ding) ADT thank you for keeping us safe.
Tenley says:
Wow, so glad you all are safe! You did the right thing by appearing calm and not answering the door. By sharing this you might save someone else, thank you for doing this.
I might need to arm myself with giant fiery spiders after hearing this, a girl’s gotta be proactive about safety!
Karen says:
I was going to add about security cameras, too. My husband (the techno geek freak) just got a motion sensor camera on Ebay for a great price. (not because WE need one but just because he saw a deal on one and seems to have a need to fill our house to the ceiling w technological everything)
Hopefully you don’t need to be afraid, but maybe your gut is picking up on something.
Maybe a motion sensor light too for the yard?
Heather says:
We have the motion lights in the back yard, but I think the front yard is a good idea!
mary ann says:
I’m so happy you are all safe. I too live in an extremely safe neighborhood, where all the neighbors are super friendly and look out for each other. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Last year our house was robbed while we were at work – they broke in through a back window and ransacked the house taking whatever valuables we had, along with irreplaceable, sentimental things, and worst our piece of mind. I never in a million years thought anything like this would happen to us – stuff like this only happens to other people. By the way our neighbors on both sides and across the street were home at the time and saw nothing unusual. The detectives told me it was most likely a drug addict looking to sell things quickly for drug money by the things he took. There was a muddy footprint on the back of my house leading to the window and worst one in my bedroom near my bed. They never caught them or recovered any of our things. Our detective told us not to hesitate to call 911 if anyone comes to the door unexpectedly, if we see someone who we think doesn’t belong in our neighborhood and we feel afraid or uneasy – that’s their job. Please don’t hesitate to report this to the police it may be nothing but you never know. I don’t want to scare you but I have learned a lot from this experience, better to be safe than sorry. Always be aware of your surroundings, hide your valuables, keep them out of your bedroom – that is the first place they look, lock all your doors and windows, leave lights, or a radio on when you are away. I’m so sorry this happened to you. What is wrong with people today???
Mary Brock says:
Back on NOvember 1, 2008 2 men broke into our home. We had our 3 yo daughter in bed with us and our dog was also in our room. The day before my husband had casually told me he loaded his shotgun and put it in the closet next to our bed, safety on, just in case I ever needed it. Around 5 am my dog woke us both up growling like we had never heard before. As soon as he realized we were awake he became silent. It was then that we could hear people walking around our house. It was pitch black, and our phone wasnt in our room. My husband leaned over, without saying a word, grabbed the shotgun and took the safety off. We sat there for a moment, and then “he” came in. All we could see was his profile and a gun in his hand. He said “lay the f down” and my husband immediately shot in the intruders direction. I grabbed our daughter and laid on the floor with our comforter over us. She woke up and wondered what was going on, I told her we were just playing hide and seek and to be very quiet. There was only 1 more bullet in the gun, so my husband waited a moment before exiting the bedroom. We had no idea if he had shot him or if anyone was waiting to shoot us back. Unfortunately, he missed and 2 men ran out of our house and into their car. 2 weeks later a few miles down the road, a couple were broken into same situation. The man confronted the 2 intruders and was shot in the head and killed. We were blessed to have the loaded gun, because otherwise we probably wouldn’t be here today. I was never someone who thought I would have a loaded gun in my house, but now I know how important they can be. I still have nightmares and it has been 5 years. So happy nothing happened to you and your family.
Karen says:
Oh my gosh, how absolutely terrifying. I am so sorry you had to go through that and have to have the memories of your ordeal and the knowledge of what happened down the road. How fortuitous that your husband had just prepared your self-defense for your family. Wow.
Heather says:
Oh MY GOD Mary! That is so terrifying, and I don’t blame you at ALL for having nightmares. I would probably be in an institution! Thank goodness you all were okay!
Ashley says:
I agree – get the cameras. I did, and it’s helped my fear as well. They’re totally worth the investment and easy to install.
Rachel says:
This is *not* an irrational fear. Yup, could have been a prank, could have been burglars hoping the house was empty, could have been even worse. I wouldn’t get a gun, but I would get a security system, and perhaps a camera.
Jennifer says:
I have to agree with everyone else on here – get a security camera. And also please report this to the police asap. I know you live in a safe neighborhood, but even this is just teenagers, you need to report it to the police. And please, next time, call 911 and not your dad. If there is someone there with bad intentions, I’d hate for your dad to be the one to confront him/them. Now I’m worried sick about you!
becki says:
Pretty much certain this was a “knock knock burglar”. Happening ALL over the country – they are trying to figure out if anyone is at home AND like a previous commenter said, trying to block you identifying them if you chose to call the police. Next time call the police as well – they WANT to know if neighborhoods are being targeted/scoped. Plus then they will make periodic checks in the neighborhood. I always keep a radio on, on the table next to the front door regardless.
Colleen says:
I would have been terrified too. We had a rash of break ins in our neighborhood and one of the suggestions our homeowners association sent out was to keep your car keys with you and if you hear something suspicious hit the panic button so the alarm goes off. This will alert whoever is at the door that someone is home, plus attract the attention of your neighbors.
Heather says:
Setting off the car alarm is such a good idea! I never thought of that. I am going to remember that!
Pattie says:
That’s really creepy, even if it was just a prank. I’m on board with the other suggestions here in favor of a camera surveillance system. I’m lobbying my husband for one myself, even though we also live in a good neighborhood. Can’t be too safe when kids are involved.
GreenInOC says:
I don’t think being afraid when someone bangs on the door like that is irrational AT ALL adding covering the peep hole is beyond.
Call the non-emergency number of your local police department today to report it and ask if they know of anything that happened – if they have some information that might alleviate your fears.
The fact that you had the presence of mind to keep your fear under wraps is amazing! I do agree though, 1st call is to 9-1-1 next time and time to install multiple motion detector lights and maybe multiple, well hidden cameras.
One thing that I think is REALLY important for everyone is listen to your instincts. If someone at your door is politely asking for directions but you have that tiny feeling that something is not quite right, listen to it. Don’t choose politeness over instincts. We all need to practice listening to our instincts in our every day lives so we learn by instinct (ha!) to listen to them.
I have a neighbor who knocks like that when she wants to say “thanks” or anything stupid. Asking her to stop went unheeded. Finally another neighbor screamed at her that nobody appreciated her knocking like that, proceeded to list off the names of every neighbor that hated it and to STOP!
moll says:
My house was broken into when I was a kid, and I know where you’re coming from. I once lived in an apartment building with no peepholes, and I didn’t really know any of my neighbors (I was in law school, so I wasn’t there to socialize, and it was a cruddy neighborhood because … law school). I’d ALWAYS get knocks/pounds at the door – often in the middle of the freaking night – and had no way to look out. I just wouldn’t answer.
I’m a big believer in trusting your gut, and not letting anyone make you feel bad for doing what you have to do to feel safe.
Kathi G says:
How scary! I’ve had that happen too, in my own safe and lovely neighborhood. I won’t open my door to strangers. I was also robbed, when I was away at work and just my little dog was “guarding the house.” Love the idea of a security camera at the door. I’ve never thought of that. I have a security door, though, which is pretty effective. I can open the front door and talk to people without opening the bolted security door. I thought it would look cheesy but they make some lovely versions these days.
Megan says:
Oh my god. I live by myself, and I don’t think I scare particularly easily, but one of my biggest fears is someone breaking into the house or knocking and then forcing their way in. If I’m not expecting guests, the sound of knocks on the door definitely gets my heart racing, and the peephole just freaks me out even more. Occasionally I’ll realize I forgot to lock the door, and I spend the next few minutes being paranoid that someone came in and is hiding in a closet.
So I don’t think you’re paranoid at all. Honestly, I would call the cops next time if I were you. Hopefully it was just kids pranking or a salesman, but it’s suspicious and bad things do occasionally happen even in safe neighborhoods.
Sara says:
How scary! I DO NOT ever answer the door unless I am expecting someone. My girls are unfortunately picking up my fear. I tell them never to answer the door, and half the time if it is a very insistent knock, I make them shush and creep down (you could see through the windows in my old door). If the knocks persist, I peek to see if it is a delivery. Even then, I have my cell in my hands. I have tried to convince the hubby to get an alarm system, and I think it is going to happen this year.
Glenda says:
Scary! oh my goodness… at least your parents live close enough, but you wouldn’t want anything to happen to either of them. Call 911… and get the security camera. When I’m home alone I never answer the door. I have the alarm system armed.
Tamara says:
A really big dog dish on your porch, with a pair of really large men’s work boots and a copy of Gun and Ammo magazine could be a deterrent for weirdos….if you actually get a really big dog with a big bark that would be good….and when my husband is out of town or we are staying in hotels I use a security door jam I bought on Amazon
Susan says:
I am a 911 dispatcher just north of Detroit, enough said =) Always, always call 911 FIRST and parents second. That’s all =) Glad it turned out the way it did but that’s no joke and should always be taken seriously!!!
Jean says:
Do you have any windows that you can open and ask who it is? I never open the door without first opening the window and yelling “Yes?” The person tells me what they want, and from there I decide to answer the door or not. Nine times out of ten, I tell them that I’m not interested right from the window. I may look like an uncivilized zoo animal yelling out a window, but it does the trick. My door answering method caught on. My parents do that now, and the neighbors do it too. It was pretty funny when I lived in a house and did that from the second floor bedroom window. The person would be looking up to the sky wondering where the voice was coming from. lol
Heather says:
My only windows that would do that would require me opening my shades and basically exposing my entire body/front room to the street/porch. And I would be too scared to do that! But sometimes I holler through the door, lol.
Leah says:
One time I was at a B&B in one of their “extra” rooms behind the house with a door that opened right to the outside. This was in downtown Charlottesville VA, which is mostly charming but has a sketchy element. I had had too much wine and dozed off with the space heater on, so the room was roasting hot and I opened the door to let some air in. Just as I was closing it I felt the handle turn, but I was able to lock it in time. I said loudly “ha! you can’t get in!” or something of the sort, and went to bed. Then the next day when I was sober I had a good shudder when I realized what almost happened.
Stephanie says:
OMG that is so SCARY Leah! I am so glad you are ok.
Heather says:
Holy crap! Thank goodness you were okay!!
Meg says:
Like others have said, it’s not irrational! I feel much safer living in an apartment than in a house, despite houses often being in “nicer” or lower-crime areas. I also have a dog who sounds much bigger than she is, which helps.
Jess says:
I just bought a house with my fiancé. One of the first things we are doing after we close is installing a security system. While we both work for a security company & will get a deal on the install, it’s something we would have done regardless.
I also agree on reporting this. One if the calls I took at my company was an elder woman who had someone unscrew her porch light and bang on her door and ring her door bell. When she’d look out her peep hole it would be dark & no one was there & she was terrified. I had Central call the police, called her daughter on the other line, and then stayed on the phone with the woman until the police arrived. I was so worried for her. Police found her light bulb unscrewed. Said teenagers were going around doing it all night, but said the woman did the right thing.
roshan says:
When you wrote that when you were at the door Annie had walked up behind you, for a fraction of a second I imagined that Annie was wearing her superhero costume ready to take down the evil-doers at the door. Anyways, joking aside, get the surveillance cams, stat.
Heather says:
HAHA this seriously made me laugh out loud. If she’d known I thought there was a “bad guy” at the door, she seriously would have grabbed her cape.
Karen says:
I wouldnt call it irrational! The door bell ringing while Im asleep is enough for me to be disorientated!
We have a flood light on the front of our house and when someone approaches it switches on. Its great apart from the fact our lazy neighbours keep turning the sensor to work on their drive instead of ours as their light is broken! Dont go there, I want to put anti vandal paint on the light now
Our dogs only react to the light going on when we’re all in bed and BOY do they react. They also react to people coming over our fences as the Police Officer who chased a ‘youth’ through our garden found out. We’d heard the first person go over the gate, my husband had let the dogs out quickly just as the second person came over the gate. Second person quickly screaming “Call them off, Police!”
Susana says:
How frightening! I’m so careful and aware on the street, yet somehow don’t take the same precautions in my home. I’ll definitely be more vigilant now, after reading all these comments.
A woman in Alexandria, VA (just outside of DC) was just shot an killed at the entrance of her house after opening her door to a stranger.
http://m.washingtonpost.com/local/crime/police-investigate-double-shooting-in-alexandria/2014/02/06/1a31164e-8f54-11e3-b46a-5a3d0d2130da_story.html?hpid=z2 Horrific.