Maddie had a weigh-in today. The last time she was weighed, she tipped the scales at 12 pounds, 15 ounces. Her weight today, five weeks later?
Twelve pounds, 15 ounces. She didn’t gain a single ounce.
The good news is that she DID grow an inch in height, and her head circumference went up three more centimeters. Remember when I said she was a bobblehead? Well, now she really, REALLY is.
Mike is more up on all the details of the appointment. Once the doctor said Maddie was going to have to see a nutritionist, I went to my happy place. I started thinking about Maddie’s entourage. She has her manager (me). Her bodyguard (Mike). Her tiny white dog (Rigby). A dedicated team of groupies (her grandparents, aunts, and uncles), plus doctors, nurses, and worldwide fans. Now she’s adding a nutritionist, and soon she’ll have a physical therapist – and seriously, physical therapists are like personal trainers.
It then occurred to me that Maddie’s entourage prepares her perfectly for Hollywood. And, being tall and thin with a giant head, she’s totally got the right physique. So tonight I took her out to a premiere, where she was a hit with the photographers. She’ll be a TV star in no time.
So, hey Darren Star! When you’re looking for a lead actress for the New New 90210 in 10-15 years, I have your New New Brenda!!! Isn’t she gorgeous and not at ALL frighteningly thin?
Sigh.
Daddy Dan says:
You’re hilarious, Heather. Maddie’s looking good!
Like I commented on Mike’s blog, my prayers go out for Maddie. I hope you guys can get her fattened up soon. She can always lose the weight back later when she’s ready to kick off that acting career!
Daddy Dans last blog post..The Office: Recap of Last Year’s Season Finale
Raging Dad says:
If you guys are gonna blog about the same stuff, you need to have your stories straight! Mike CLEARLY said she gained two cotton balls!
Good luck. Sounds tough, but clearly she’s a tough cookie and has managed to figure out how to do so many things that are much harder than eating. She’ll be downing high-calorie beer in no time.
Raging Dads last blog post..On Genitals or The Day Sonny Found His Erection
Fiesty Charlie says:
Heather,
I left a comment on Mike’s blog, only because I read his first. I did not want to be redundant.
I am sending good thoughts your way.
Fiesty Charlies last blog post..Knots…
Ms. Moon says:
It is quite apparent where Miss Maddie got her spirit.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Things I Know As Well As Things I Don’t
A Free Man says:
Your mash-up photo there is pretttty disturbing… Hang in there, though, it’ll come.
A Free Mans last blog post..In which I write about something of which I know very little
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
Great dress, Maddie!
Mary Beth says:
I think she looks marvelous but next time I’m not sure I’d match that toe-nail polish with that dress. I will send lots of fat thoughts in Maddie’s direction – believe me I have some I can spare:)
Mary Beths last blog post..IT’S A BOUNCING BABY BLOG!
Tara says:
Don’t worry, her boyfriend thinks she’s cute no matter how much she weighs!
Em says:
Orange is definitely her color!!
And as well all know, only the super cool folks have entourages these days. Now, when she starts requesting only Evian in her sippy and yellow m&ms in her snack bowl, I,m positive you will set her straight.
Em
Ems last blog post..Somewhat Wordless Wednesday
Em says:
Good golly – seriously, who do I need to talk to about getting spell check on comment posts!?
Let’s try this again…”as we all well know” and “I’m.” You guys do the cut and paste.
Peace, Em
Ems last blog post..Somewhat Wordless Wednesday
Anna Marie says:
Damn that preemie weight gain battle! The good news is her head is growing – our pediatrician said that as long as the head is growing the brain is getting what it needs…
Good luck with the avocado!
Anna Maries last blog post..And she’s off!
Amy says:
My “babies” (not babies anymore though!) were not preemie’s and I also had trouble with their weight gain. They were/are just small. My youngest is still teeny tiny, and I STILL have people ask me if I feed her! DUH! Ummm….no I starve her which is why child services hasn’t taken her FROM ME! Please people, I know they are being funny, but it’s really NOT!
I hope Maddie gains the weight she needs….off to read Mike’s post now….
mandy says:
if i could i’d bring some of my weight/fat over to maddie in a wagon just like oprah had hers in. uh-huh. i have some to spare so it would actually be helping me out if maddie would accept.
Becky says:
Damn, girl. She is SEXY. I want legs like that.
My Alex is a slow gainer, too, truth be told. His metabolism is one that I would probably sell my kneecap for. Perhaps even both of them.
I won’t bother with assvice, because what do I have to say about NOT gaining weight? Hell, I LOOKED at some cookies at the store today WITHOUT TOUCHING THEM, and I gained 5 pounds.
Beckys last blog post..Why So SERIOUS?
merlotmom says:
Feed that girl some cake! Don’t worry a nutritionist will fatten her up just in time for Thanksgiving. And, fyi, the movie is Rashomon. Get it together guys.
merlotmoms last blog post..Give Me The Grateful Life – Monday
Lauren says:
Yes, I believe your daughter is ready for the runway and an entourage.
Anissa@Hope4Peyton says:
And while that might be nice for ME, I’m wondering what sorts of things the nutritionist is going to offer to help her add some ounces. Can I just suggest krispy kreme donuts and white chocolate mochas? Worked for me with baby #2, 40 lbs in 6 months….me, not the baby.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..Do I hear him now?
ali says:
she’s the perfect Hollywood lollipop girl – big ole round head, teeny weenie stick body. only way cuter than, say, Christina Ricci.
alis last blog post..totally tubular…man.
AMomTwoBoys says:
OH! Slapped down by Merlot Mom.
Uh…she’s totally destined for Hollywood, so this totally makes sense. Just explain to her that the anorexic stage is supposed to come when she gets her first big role. She’s just ahead of the times.
And yes, I realize that’s totally inappropriate, angry commenter who is sure to follow. Get a sense of humor.
AMomTwoBoyss last blog post..The End of an Era
Shauna says:
Oh man, I’m sorry. I hate watching those numbers on the scale. I have no advice, since I’m sure the doctors have probably smothered you with advice (have they suggested melting butter in everything? That’s when I was like, aren’t we just trading one unhealthy thing for another?). I just want to say that you’re doing great, Maddie is so lucky to have such an awesome mom, and she will grow. Probably not as fast as anyone wants her to, but she will. Hang in there. And also? Maddie looks HOT in orange!
Shaunas last blog post..
preTzel says:
Okay, I’m gonna say it: I want to pinch her cheeks. I can’t stand it. She’s so adorable! I think she looks and sounds perfect.
preTzels last blog post..Isn’t It Ironic?
Joe says:
Wow… she surely is going Hollywood, huh? I wouldn’t worry about it too much until you wake up one morning and find out she’s in rehab.
Good Luck!!!
hrm… CommentLuv isn’t showing my most current blogs… I must look into that.
Joes last blog post..My baby girl!!
Rebecca says:
i have some fat i’ll courier to her.