When Mike and I bought our house, we moved close to my childhood best friends. I was really excited about seeing them a lot more, and watching our kids grow up together. So far, it’s been great. The kids are all wonderful friends despite their age differences. They remind me a lot of when my brother and I were kids and our cousins would come over. We were four to five years older than them, but it didn’t matter because they were family. My kids and my friends’ kids play like family.
The problem is that we, the matriarchs of this “family”, rarely get time with each other without our kids around. Sure, we get moments together at birthday parties and playdates, but we can’t really get into any real discussions with little kids around. Even when we shove all the children outside or into a playroom, someone always needs a snack/band-aid/diaper. I sometimes I’ll leave a two-hour playdate feeling like I only finished half of a conversation.
We have to schedule our girls’ nights months in advance, and even then it’s hard. We have to coordinate around teaching and nursing schedules. We have to make sure our husbands aren’t working or coaching. And as our kids get older, we have to work around their schedules, too. And even with all the advanced planning, one of us usually ends up having to drop out at the last-minute.
Last night we managed a girls’ night with three of us. It’s so nice to have a leisurely meal, where we could talk freely without worrying that little ears were listening. I know I really need that time with my friends to vent and get advice. I get perspective from their struggles with students, or patients they’ve lost. Especially the patients they’ve lost. Hearing about the tragic deaths of mothers and babies (they’re all tragic) takes me back to that place…it’s a gut check.
But we laugh, too. Especially when we talk about our ridiculous kids, or reminisce, or make plans for our fortieth (or fiftieth, depending on who you ask) birthdays. We leave every girls’ night talking about how we need to have another one soon, but of course, it’s never as soon as we’d like. Until then, we’ll steal moments here and there while we watch our kids make new memories together.
You’re lucky to have that! I was never around those I grew up with because Of the Army. And my husband and I waited, unlike many of our friends– to have kids. It was a little lonely not to be able to share those times with others. Do it more often!!
This just reminded me again of how blessed I am to still ‘hang out’ with my girlfriends from high school. We graduated 30 years ago and the JUGs (Just Us Girls) still get together 2x a year – a Winter weekend-long slumber party and then again with a longer weekend in the Summer at one of the girl’s lake house outside of Austin. There’s nothing better in life than Forever Friends!
Wish I had had childhood friends I still wanted to be in touch with. I had 2 from HS that I did and had…but they moved out of state
What about using babysitters to take of children while you are out? Could that be done once or twice a month?
Love that photo, Heather.
The picture posted is amazing! Def a memory to cherish. You’re right though, having adult time, especially a girls night out, is vital to keeping your sanity as a mother! I think we all feel they’re too few and far between but so satisfying when we can squeeze one in.
Finding time with girlfriends is so challenging with growing kids. I am totally with you about feeling like you only finished half the conversation when you visit with kids around! When me and my girlfriend do finally get together without our kids we spend three hours at dinner (the waiter/waitress LOVES us!) and only leave because they are closing the restaurant down. Then we usually spend more time in the parking lot saying “goodbye.” When I get home my husband always says “What did you talk about for so long?” I never know what to say…we talk about everything and nothing at the same time. And I always feel so energized when we’re done!