Before I tell you about my run-in with a vicious gopher, I first must say that we had a lovely Easter. We met up with my Sister-in-Law and her family for a yummy brunch. It was one of those fancy buffets, and I wanted to enjoy it, so I started Annie off with the dessert. It was the best idea I’ve had in months – she sat there and slowly destroyed a plate of tiramisu while I made several trips to the buffet without incident. After we ate, we let the kids work off their sugar by running around the lake.
Making them pose for a picture was a bad idea.
The lake had ducks, and Spencer told us all about what kind of ducks they were, what they ate, and where they originated from (I retained…none of this information).
They ran faster than any of us expected.
After brunch, we went to my parents’ house, where we tried to get Annie to hunt for eggs. It took her a loooooong time to want to find them – she was afraid the Easter Bunny was going to show up, and she is still terrified of him. She eventually warmed up to the idea of hunting for eggs, after much coddling and the discovery that the eggs had presents in them.
It’s been gorgeous weather here lately, so we (me, Mike, Annie, my brother, his boyfriend Sebastian, my cousin Leah, and her boyfriend Ted) all went swimming in my parents’ pool after dinner. Most of the group was in the warmer spa, but Annie, Mike, Ted, and I were all still in the pool. I was telling some story when suddenly Leah SCREAMED, “OH MY GOD THERE IS A RAT COMING FOR YOU.”
Now. I was in the middle of the pool, and last time I checked, rats don’t usually enjoy evening swims. But I didn’t question it, I merely yelped and started swimming toward everyone else, pulling Annie with me. When I felt I’d traveled a safe distance, I turned around, expecting to see them all laughing at Leah’s hilarious prank…except there it was…a freaking rodent…swimming towards me. I yelled for my dad, who ran out of the house and fished it out with a pool net. He then looked at us all witheringly and said, “That wasn’t a rat, it was a gopher.” Oh sorry, my bad.
Leah and Sebastian were laughing. “It seriously was less than a foot from you when I saw it,” Leah told me. If a freaking GOPHER had swam up on me in the freaking pool and actually touched me, the entire world would have heard my scream. Talk about things you are not expecting to happen to you ever, let alone in a pool.
Mike drew you all a picture so you can see just how close and large and clearly rabid the gopher was.
I asked Mike what he was thinking when he saw the gopher, and he said, “The first thing I thought was that these things always seem to happen to you.” I don’t know how to respond to that.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Great. So Annie is scared of the Easter Bunny and you’re scared of the Easter Gopher. Perhaps you should go Australian and have an Easter Bilby?
PS if I ever need my portrait drawn, I want Mike to do it!
Man, I just laughed so hard at that. Awesome.
OMG – You guys crack me up!!! I seriously cannot WAIT to come out to visit you guys!! ha ha I love the picture of the little girls holding hands, running. It’s a framer for sure!!!
I’m so happy you guys had a lovely Easter!! You all deserved it!!
Oh my GOD. I would have freaked!! I agree with Mike (and have said this in comments before) that you just can’t make this stuff up!!
Love the drawing and Mike gave you such nice, perky, um…yeah…
Ha! I noticed the same thing.
Hilarious story! I would have freaked the heck out too…
Uh, yeah, I was thinking the same thing…he gave Heather her own floatsom devises! (And such perfect hair for having been in the pool!)
I am sorry that these things happen to you. Oh, who am I kidding? No, I am not – this gave me the best laugh ever. Hilarious.
For the record, I might never swim again.
Sounds like a great Easter minus the gopher and so jealous of you warm weather.
I’m wondering how Mike even noticed the gopher with the size of your bosom? I’m sorry, that is so inappropriate to point out but I’m seriously laughing so hard I’m crying right now at that picture. You guys are hilarious! Take care!
Oh my…I’m sick with some sort of stomach ailment today…but I couldn’t help but giggle..and it hurt….a good hurt. How does this happen? A gopher..in a pool?
How does this happen”? Gophers are pretty much blind and the prolific little guys are always looking for new territory. In the front garden and yard they are TOAST but after watching the little guy struggling in the pool..I netted him out and released him in the back garden. As cute as they are..they are not too smart. The next morning I again fished him out of the pool…this time face up.
I just peed a little…… Thanks for a great laugh with my morning coffee.
I’m glad you escaped a swimming-gopher attack, but, boy, was this fun to read. And Mike is quite the artist — who knew?
SO. FUNNY. Actual lol before my coffee. That never happens.
I like the attention to detail Mike gave your rack in his masterpiece. Way to go the extra mile, Mike.
Did Annie see the gopher?
Katie B. says:
Choked on my breakfast from laughing so hard. Freaking love your stories, Heather. Needed a little cheering up this morning, and I came to the perfect place. Thank you!
To funny!! Annie looked adorable as always is her Easter dress.
The look on her face when she saw what was in the egg is priceless. Just sweet!!
I’m not sure what’s funnier… The story or Mike’s drawing. Thanks for the laugh out loud moment on the Bart train! So happy you had a nice Easter!
I’m not sure what’s funnier… The story or Mike’s drawing. Yeah, the story wins. Thanks for the laugh out loud moment on the Bart train! So happy you had a nice Easter!
Kari weber says:
I think the part that made me laugh the loudest was Mike’s comment about how all these kinds of things happen to you. That is so my life.
And nice rack!
Wow Mike, you’re a pretty good artist! Props.
Also? The picture just made my day and it is not even 10:30 yet. Also also? I may have laughed so hard I was nearly in danger of peeing myself.
Also also also? Said picture will sustain me all through the crappy week to come. So thank you Spohrs! And Clearly Rabid Gopher!
I have an irrational fear of rodents and would have gone into hysterics if it was that close to me. Your husband made you look so pretty in his picture. I love the fangs that he put on the gopher. lol
On the plus side, Heather, you look almost exactly like the Little Mermaid.
Heather Spohr: hilarity magnet
Ok~first the obvious: Annie is adorable in her polka-dot dress!!! And the look on her face when she saw presents in the eggs? Priceless!
As to the rabid rodent! OMG!! That is the funniest story EVER! A gopher? In a pool?!?!
And like everyone else, I must say, I am amazed you were able to swim away at all with those large perky floatation devises that Mike gave you in the drawing! LOL!!!!
But the best: his comment–these sort of things always happen to you?! True that! hahahaha
So glad Easter was lovely and that the gopher did not get any closer! Annie looks adorable. Heather, the photos are terrific and Mike, you are such a good artist!
Mike drew some great boobies. Go Mike! VERY smart man.
Jacquie Holley says:
I would have had a heart attack and died on the spot! This was one of the most hilarious stories I have read in a long time. Your father was so nonchalant about the whole thing. Is this a regular occurance?
Tears in my eyes, Heather. Seriously, that is how hard I just laughed! Interesting enough you do seem to share a lot of misfortunate events which do occur to You Heather.
Kristen @ The Chronicles of Dutch says:
Its like Jaws…pools were the only safe place to swim and I think you may have just ruined that for me
Agree with a previous poster…if I ever go missing I want Mike to draw my “have you seen this person” photo.
Sarah G says:
Ahh! This totally freaked me out. I am going to be afraid of being attacked by a stupid gopher the next few times I go swimming – that is SO freaky but seriously hilarious.
Wow. You look like a classic Disney princess in that drawing (you know, before Disney princesses were allowed not to have a required hourglass figure)!