In addition to Annie being a little nutcase, she’s also verrrry unpredictable. Or maybe that’s part of being a nutcase, I dunno. What this means is that Mike and I are very careful about taking her out in public. We never want her to have a freak-out and disturb anyone, so if we want to do something like go to a restaurant, we have to do some kid math to decided if it’s worth the risk.
Nine times out of ten, we make the right decision, and we get cuteness at brunch:
Lately, that complicated kid math has led to us leaving her at home with one parent while the other runs errands. It’s a thousand times easier to navigate a store sans toddler. Would she lose her cool at the drug store? Probably not. She knows what the consequences are if she is naughty. But we try to avoid the situation when we can.
A couple months ago, Mike was working and Annie and I were out for the day. We paid Dr. Looove a visit and did a couple other miscellaneous things while we were in the area. I needed to pop into the store to buy one last thing, and I knew if I waited to get back to our new neighborhood, Annie would be asleep in her car seat. So, I decided Annie and I would run into our old grocery store. I knew she was tired, but we were just grabbing one thing, so I figured we’d be in and out in two minutes.
We walked in past the shopping carts, and Annie immediately started protesting that we didn’t get one. “We don’t need one, honey. We’re just getting one thing.” But she wouldn’t let it go, and started complaining, loudly, that she wanted a shopping cart. I was practically dragging her to the aisle I needed while she was yelling, “I JUST WANT A CART!!!” I grabbed what I needed, then picked her up and carried her up to the checker.
The checker tried to calm Annie with the offer of a sticker, but she wasn’t having it. She was flailing around, and I needed to put her down so I could pay. I set her on her feet, but she went all crazy jelly legs and collapsed on the ground, screaming and kicking. I looked down at her, then turned to the checker and handed over my debit card real casual-like. It was just going to have to be a scene, but luckily we would be done in thirty seconds.
Someone came to get in line behind us, saw Annie doing tantrum angels on the ground, and slowly backed away. The bag boy came over and looked horrified. I gave him a “yep, she’s freaking out” half-smile. I punched in my debit code, then bent down and picked up a thrashing Annabel. The checker said to me, “Good luck with…this…” and looked at Annie while she handed me the one freaking item I’d had to stop for. A pregnancy test. Totally not embarrassing at all.
And that is why I try to run errands without her.
Julie says:
My 3.5 year old is the same way. HOW could I not want a CART? I suppose it must be hard to, like, know the routine and expect the routine and then the routine changes. But secretly I think “sure. That’s hard for you, kid. I am SO empathetic while you are writhing and screaming on the filthy floor.”
Here’s hoping for plus signs, or double lines, or pink bunnies, or whatever means a positive on the test.
Denise says:
Eh…she’s not the first kid (nor will she be the last) to perform “tantrum angels” at the store. Good luck with the math and please pass on the winning formula if you ever find it.
Heather says:
Please tell us the results of the test! Please? Please? Is there such a thing as a blog tantrum angel? I will throw one right now if you don’t tell us the results!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHA!! WHA!!! WHA!!!
Audra says:
Aside from “Have you tried these new kettle chips yet?” or ” I love it when raspberries are in season” cashiers SHOULD NOT COMMENT on the purchases of the people who go through their lines.
TamaraL says:
……WELL???……..
divrchk says:
Ummmmm….. Congratulations???? What kind of post is this???????
AudNoL says:
Ha! Love the punch line. Fingers crossed for you.
Sue says:
Fantastic post!!! Have to agree with Audra on this one. Sometimes the cashiers cross the line on the things they comment about.
Tracy says:
This post is hilarious! Hope the test result was worth the grocery store trip!
(I have a friend with older, high school kids who says “pay backs are hell.” Her girls are mortified by mom now doing all sorts of embarrassing things and she could care less – reminding them of just these sort of tantrums.
Amy says:
Well? What were the results? I have a friend who was very pregnant and checking out in Walmart. The boy who was the cashier said “when are you do?” and she said early November. He proceeded to say “You should have it on Halloween so it can be Satan’s spawn.” She was floored!
Annalisa says:
I would have just rolled my eyes at him and left it at that.
(My kid was born three days shy of Halloween. Is she the easiest kid to live with? No. She’s a toddler. But Satan’s Spawn? Far from it)
Jessica says:
I hope that the errand was worth the trip :). We have two triplets and a toddler all under 5 and whenever we decide to go somewhere we wonder what we were thinking about 2 seconds into the trip.
Liz says:
That’s hysterical! God luck
Liz says:
Good^^ lol
Jaclyn says:
Oh, that post made me laugh out loud and choke on my drink! I can only imagine the thoughts running through the cashiers mind. Thanks for starting my morning out with a good laugh!
Jess Z. says:
Yes, it is so fun when they perform the tantrum flop in the checkout lane. Been there…still there. Fun times!
Jane says:
HA! Totally worth the read through (and I hope you got the +).
Jen says:
I totally know ‘crazy jelly legs’…Just last night my 3 year old did this and I was like ‘could you BE any more uncooperative???’ she responded by asking if she could have some cheese.
cindy w says:
Oh lord, that made me laugh.
I once bought a pregnancy test from the pharmacist (because they were in the drug section of the grocery store & it was quicker to go through that line than the regular checkout). He asked if I had any questions, I guess out of habit. I said, “Umm, pretty sure the only question I have, you can’t answer.” Heh.
Jennifer says:
Ooohh, tantrums are the worst but that story was sooo funny. When my daughter used to pull tantrums like that (and they all do – she’s 5 now) , I’ve been known to turn to a disapproving or fearful onlooker – usually a younger 20-something yuppie- and say, “Best birth control ever, right?” and they’d always look at me shocked and then bust out laughing – because you KNOW that’s what they were thinking.
Melli says:
So funny
Lisa_in_WI says:
Love the payoff, that you were getting a pregnancy test. Classic! Hope you get the result you’re hoping for!
Lisa says:
The ironey made me giggle so much I think I peed a little bit…
Abby says:
Drugstore.com.
Becki says:
How could you forget???
Carts are MOVING CAGES, lol. And tantrum containers. I ALWAYS used one just for that reason.
And prayers and hopes and wishes for the test . . .
Liz Sanders says:
oh sweet Annie!
I just went through a similar senario where 3 of my four where crying in the checkout line. 2, 5, and 9. I just started laughing like a maniac. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know what else to do!
Nikki says:
haha, that’s what I do when my daughter throws a fit..I can’t help but to laugh cause it’s so out of character for her..she’s 4! She is extremely easy going…I don’t really have to wonder if we should go somewhere..but I do get the normal…I have to go potty, can I get a cookie…and at our local Fred Meyer she knows just about every employee…she will say hi to each one by their name…and hold conversations with her favorites…KIDS!!!
Trisha says:
Hopefully the checker and bag boy were teens and you made a huge abstinence or birth control impact on them
Rebecca says:
Oddly enough (and be certain that I do count my very lucky stars on this one), mine respond well to the talk I have with them almost every time we go somewhere, “When we leave we leave with a happy face. Show me a happy face.” *the kids smile and make silly faces*. I respond with, “Exactly, now when we leave the toy store what kind of face will you be leaving with?” The respond with happy faces…and it works.
Becky Campbell says:
Hahahaha…oh and good luck!;) Lots of love, hugs and many blessings coming your way!
MG says:
Funny! Very similar thing happened to me. Only, it was a full grocery shop, I had my 3 boys with and I think I was buying pregnancy tests from the dollar section. For some reason that in itself makes me feel a little bit like a loser but I’m kind of a freak about taking pregnancy tests when I think I am so the real kind are too expensive! I totally felt like they were thinking WTH is wrong with you?!?!? Now…I stand here and type it with my little 8 week old (today!) girl in my homemade Moby Wrap! The trip was well worth it.
lara says:
two words–
Dollar Store.
A) the tests are only $1! and they’re right at the checkout, no scouring the store. (yes, they work!)
nobody is going to judge you at the Dollar Store
Emily says:
Oh no they judge at the Dollar Store!! The last time I was pregnant I was 99.9% sure I was so I didn’t want to spend $10+ on a test. In the check-out line (with my other children) I overheard a lady behind me say “maybe she should stop having babies if she has to buy a pregnancy test at the Dollar Store”. Priceless!
Annalisa says:
Could be worse. We live near a Children’s Museum. We have a membership. We live someplace it rains a lot. The math works out to: we’re there once a week save for the summer (and even then, we go a lot).
Kiddo has thrown a tantrum every time we’ve been there for the past month. I’m pretty sure the staff know her by name by now, and know she can explode at any minute.
I’m pretty sure the friendly guy who seems to always man the greeter spot says to himself “Oh, thank God I don’t have children” whenever he sees her. I mean obviously he likes kids, or he wouldn’t work at a children’s museum. That said, it’s much better to be around them and have them go home at the end of the day, than having to take them home with you when you leave.
Annalisa says:
Also also, I try to run most of my grocery store related errands between 9 PM – 12 AM. It’s just easier.
Kristin says:
No way! That’s too funny, and totally embarrassing. But oh well, kids are kids. Total nut jobs!
Jasmin says:
You just described a day I had with my 3 year old a few weeks ago. After experiencing a few of these, I feel that I’ve been desensitized to the public tantrum. As a parent you always feel the need to make others feel comfortable but at the same time you can’t keep them locked up while you are running errands otherwsise, how else will they learn that public tantrums are inappropriate?
Paula says:
Oh yes! Again, I am so glad you have this too. Mums need to band together at tantrum time
And I do hope the test was positive and now we are all going to keep checking back for news!
Paula says:
Bad mum story – I took a video of a tantrum which of course made her even more mad! But she watches it on my phone and I think it is a teaching moment lol
Jessica V. says:
Paula – I have several videos of my son tantrumming on my phone, and he thinks it is funny to watch them too! The other morning, I heard shrieking coming from his room and I hollered out “what is wrong now!,” thinking that he was crying…turns out he was just watching one of his fit videos. Oops!
Jessica Makuh says:
Oh my gosh! I have to do this!
Tara says:
Too funny!!
Tracy says:
Heather Spohr…you are a tease!
Alexis says:
Hahahaha! Please tell the results! I’ve been praying my rosary for you
We are in the middle of a job transfer so my hubby lives in another state. I am here alone with our 4 girls (8, 6, 4, & 1). I kid you not before I take them anywhere I say, “Listen, people already think I’m crazy for having four kids so close together. Please don’t prove them right!”
Kelly says:
Once, I actually had a woman congratulate me for ignoring a screaming Mea in my shopping cart at Target. She wanted something, and I had said no, so a total meltdown ensued. She needed to learn that throwing a fit doesn’t work. So I continued getting the stuff on my list and ignored the screaming child in my cart.
Not easy.
Jen L. says:
You are a tease, Heather Spohr. Here’s hoping for a big ol’ YES on that test!
And boy, oh boy, do I know those jelly legs well. There was about an 8 month period when my son was around Annie’s age that we NEVER took him out to eat or to the grocery store. I literally grocery shopped at 9:30 pm to avoid having to take him out.
Molly says:
Hahahahhahahaha!
Annie says:
Too funny! I had a similar experience when buying a pregnancy test (which by the way, was positive so here’s hoping for you also!). I had my 3 year old twins with me (in the shopping cart – like another person said – good way to keep them contained) and they were being loud and crazy. And the lovely store I was in LOCKED UP the pregnancy tests so I had to ask the 17 year old clerk for help. Mortified!
Wallydraigle says:
I’m so sorry, but I just laughed my face off.
Jeanie says:
How funny! I mean, under the circumstances. Heh.
Lindsey says:
Hilarious!! Reminds me of the condom commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWkZ_StRjU0)! When us kids would all start crying – five of us, can you imagine – my father would stand there and act like he was conducting a symphony orchestra!!! You have your devoted audience wondering “is she, or isn’t she?” — I hope she is!!!!!
Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
positive
+
positive
+
positive
+
positive
+
positive
+
I’m thinking positive…
+
positive
+
positive
+
positive
+
positive
+
sending positive vibes your way…
Christian Kay says:
I must be the only person who actually read the little IMPORTANT detail about how this happened a couple months ago…The story is hilarious and definitely great birth control!!
Gwen says:
I laughed so hard at the ending of this post. One of the best pregnancy test stories ever
Rebecca says:
HYSTERICAL!
You may want to go back and bold or highlight “a couple of months ago” — while at first read I was so excited to hear the results (because surely you weren’t posting without results) then went back and re-read.
Mine is almost 4 – it doesn’t get any better – they get more verbal and scream things like, “I said I don’t want to go to this store because it smells like POOP!” – yep, it happened, nope, didn’t smell at all.
Kerstin P says:
Best. Cliffhanger. Ever!
Lovely story Heather – and I know the feeling well, except my 2.5 year old isn’t yet able to articulate WHY she’s throwing seven kinds of fit in Aisle Ten. Good times….
Adrienne says:
Matthew throws the “I just want………….” tantrum, what the what is with the “I just want”?
Also, I think you handled it perfectly!
Christina says:
Growing up,I had 2 younger sisters, we wouldnt even think of throwing a fit in a store, my mom had that “Look” and we knew that if we got it, then we were gonna get it once we got to the car, Fast forward my mom has another baby, there is 22 years difference between her and I and my son is 22 months older then she is…She was and still is a Drama Queen, and wouldnt think twice about throwing a fit in the store when she was told NO…. On day My mom, litte sister, my Son and I went to Sears, And Ashley started on her I want I want, My mom said NO, I said NO, so she sits on the floor and starts with the kicking of the feet, and was working her way up to a full fledged Tantrum…. Im waiting for my mom to pick her up and take her to the car, I even offered,,,,, Nope… My Mom sits on the floor with her and starts whining, then she starts kicking and My MOTHER worked her self into a Spot on copy of my sisters Temper Tantrum, With the screaming, kicking EVERYTHING…… Ashley, stops after a minute or so and gives my mom this WTF ???? Kind of Look… My mom then stops stands up and they go one with their shopping, 2 ladies came up to us, and you could tell they were mother and daughter, the mom is laughing so hard she has tears, and the daughter, says, My Mom Always used to threaten us that she was going to do this one of these days, I am SOO Glad that she never did….. and the mom, who finally could talk after laughing so hard, says, I ALWAYS wanted to do this when they would act up but never had the balls to do it.. to this day 20 years Later, My sister Still remembers this
Brooke says:
LOL. Good luck for sure!
Amy says:
Baaa HAA!!! Too funny!! I am sure you will recount that story often when Annie is older, especially if/when she becomes a mother herself!
Before I had kids I worked as a one on one worker for a woman with Downs Syndrome. She was around 23 and if she did not get her way she would VOMIT in protest. Yes indeed. I cleaned up many a tantrum in public places. Now THAT was lovely.
Cue to having kids. (Son and twin daughters). Them doing their little freak outs in public were nothing compared to projectile vomiting and thus never bothered me. They could yell, scream and thrash around like a demon child but they never got rewarded for it. Mom had seen much, much worse
Thankfully with no pay off (Mom giving in or dashing from the store humiliated) they cut that c*** out! (But yes, always made sure they were rested and fed before outings, they are kids after all.)
Try not to worry too much if Annie TT’s in public. Anyone who is a parent COMPLETELY understands!
Kristin says:
Oh man does this post bring back memories. My oldest and youngest were both kings of the public meltdowns.
BTW, what’s with the teasing us with the buying of a pregnancy test and not telling us the results?
anita says:
Oh my gosh, that is so funny. Brilliant writing.
Although, really not funny. My daughter sounds just like Annie when she was her age. She’s 9 now and waaaaay more mellow and cooperative. There’s hope!
I so remember those days, though. Fingers crossed for that positive!
laura says:
Oh so nice to read of another parent with a tantrum in public. I know it happens, seen it, been with friends as it happens with their kiddos. But as the parent of the tantrumming child, it kind’a/totally sucks! As the mother of a 21 month old this is all new to me and has only begun. I was the parent the other day in the back of TJ Maxx, son on the floor, who also went jelly-roll on me. Slipping out of my arms, sweet talking me into checking out a toy, wanting to walk first, then run, ditching the cart as I followed and only saw people turn and watch. ooh yeah, it was a golden moment.
Great post, classic–good luck!
karen says:
As EVERY parent will tell you – they all do it a some stage.
As EVERY person who has yet to have a child needs to know – it will happen to you!
Jessica Makuh says:
This was such a funny post! We’re having issues with tantrums right now, too. When we were trying to get pregnant with our second daughter, I bought a pregnancy test in town at our local Walmart. My husband is a dentist in town and someone who knows him saw me (why does everyone know me?) buying it. A few days later, one of his patients said to him, “My friend saw your wife buying a pregnancy test at the store. Are you having another baby?” I was not happy. So, the next time I had to buy one, I went into another larger town 20 minutes away to buy one and who was standing in that aisle? Our babysitter! I just couldn’t win! I think we should all buy them at http://www.drugstore.com.
Courtney says:
My son is Annie’s age, and from what I read here, also has her temperment (sweet and charming and precocious and sometimes a handful!). And now we have a newborn too – our 2nd son was born 6 days ago. So I totally understand the “good luck with that!”. LOL But somehow you manage, because it’s what you do!