Annie is in the question-asking phase. On Monday during a thirty minute car ride, she said, “What’s that?” about 187 times. She was also pointing when she asked, but since I was driving I couldn’t look at what she was asking about. I started saying things like, “A tractor!” or “A lemur!” because if I didn’t reply she just started saying, “MOM! What is it what is it what is it!!!” over and over. Luckily, she realized I was joking and she started laughing.
The next day she was onto a new question, “What’s that sound?” Even when she knew the answer, she asked. So when the phone rang, the toilet flushed, the dog barked, the radio played, Annie said “What’s that sound, Mama?” Eventually our house was too quiet, and she started asking me even when there wasn’t any noise. So I started making up answers again (“A hummingbird! A lemur!” Apparently I’m into lemurs right now.) and she cracked up.
Yesterday I had to mail some things, so I brought Annie with me to our P.O. Box. It’s a small storefront, and there were a few people ahead of us. Annie stood on line with me, quietly holding onto my purse. I was mentally willing the line to move faster, because you never know when a toddler’s patience is going to wear out. Plus the wall we were lined up against was stocked with envelopes and random tchotchke impulse buys that I knew would catch Annie’s eye if we stood still for too long.
Annie surprised me and was really good while we waited. She got a little fidgety, but to be fair, I did too. We were almost to the counter when it happened. The guy in front of me (probably in his mid-to-late twenties) passed gas. Before the twelve-year-old inside me could react, the two-year-old next to me said, “Mama, what’s that sound?” Since we’re in the pre-potty training phase I would normally answer that question truthfully, but I didn’t want to embarrass the guy so I said, “I didn’t hear anything, honey.”
Annie wasn’t having it. “Mama, no. His butts say ‘thhhpppppt.'” She stuck our her tongue and blew a raspberry to demonstrate. The man directly behind me started guffawing, and the guy in front of me turned around. “Damn! That little lady is callin’ me OUT!” Then it was his turn so he walked to the counter, leaving me just when Annie said, “His butts talk, Mama,” to the great amusement of the people behind me.
I should have just told her it was a lemur.
Ok, that made me laugh until I cried. Perfect way to start the morning. Thanks for the laugh, Annie!
That will, I’m sure, be an all-time favorite Annie story for her entire life.
I actually just laughed out loud at that!!
“Mama, no. His butts say ‘thhhpppppt.’”
CRACKING UP OVER HERE.
Hahahaha, that’s the best story ever!
OH MY GOODNESS!! That is hilarious! My grandmother told me of a story when she once took my sister to the grocery store and while they were standing in line there was a bigger lady standing in front of them. Well my siser, who was about Annie’s age at the time was in to the “Why is…” faze and so out of no where she yelled out “Nanny, Why is that lady so fat?”. Apparently the lady turned around and scoweled at my grandma, and my grandma said to the lady “I’m not with her!” Lol! Love the honesty and innocent of a child.
Nicole G. says:
HAHAHA! That is funny!
This was absolutely hysterical!!!
alex m says:
OMG thats hilarious! When my daughter was 2 she called someone out on their BO. Unfortunately it was the “female” maintenance worker who was working on our dishwasher so it was just the three of us in our kitchen so I couldn’t blame it on anything. I still cringe thinking about how I just wanted to climb out the window and never see that maintenance worker again!
My 3 year old (in preschool) called some kid out for “touching her buhgina in the toy room!” very loudly. In the middle of quiet time.
Kids are awesome.
I should clear that up… kid was touching her own “buhgina!” not my daughters. Man, that would be a whole different bag of explaining to do.
HAHAHAHA! I am glad you cleared that up!!!
I’m sorry but I and my kids are too stupid about bodily functions. I let rip and the kids roll around laughing as I blame them and the dogs and their dad! We are all too immature really.
Although if it had been me in the queue I would have said the my already chuckling toddler “dont laugh we all fart even you!”
Butt talking….. have to figure out someway to get that into our reportoire…… *ponders*
too funny! she is a doll.
Amanda L. says:
OMG! I am laughing out loud and had my own kids ask “What is so funny mama?” The circle continues!
Annie speaks the truth! Haha, you can’t try to fool toddlers….
Oh my GOSH! Busted!! Annie, you are too much, kid!
Years ago, my little daycare boy (who was painfully honest) told the sweet lady at the Wal-Mart checkout that her teeth were rotten. They WERE , but still! She was so nice, and said, “Yes, they are! I need to get them fixed!”. Meanwhile I looked for a hole to crawl in. Ughhh.
ROFLMAO……….this made my morning…..I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants! (TMI I know)
Annie is just precious Heather she is truly one of a kind….love that kid and I have never even “met” you all!
Toddlers have unfiltered honesty :-). My daughter was loudly counting the number of white people and black people in the bathroom at a restaurant. She shouted out “Mama, why are we the only 2 white people left in the bathroom?” Not sure that I responded at all but lemur would have been a good answer.
That just made my day!! I am STILL laughing!!
She’s a riot!
OMG – cannot stop laughing. My boys never did stuff like this but my DD was the typical toddler who could be counted on to say things like “Why that guy have no hair?!?!?”
OMG! That made me laugh out loud at my desk at work! I’m going to be giggling about that all day long now! Thanks Annie(and Heather for sharing)!
Jessica Makuh says:
I find it fascinating that you said “on line” instead of “in line”.
I am from VA and say “in line” but my friends from NY and NJ say “on line” … I guess they say that in CA too! I find language variation like this fascinating too.
I just thought it was a wrong spelling and she meant in. Learn something new everyday!
No, in CA we say “in line” but when I lived in NYC EVERYONE said “on line” and I picked up on it. I slip every now and then and go back to “on line” without even realizing it!
Jessica Makuh says:
I figured it was a NY thing since I’ve heard that’s where they say “on line” the most. I’ve always been fascinated by this difference since I heard about it several years ago. I thought the story was really funny, too. I felt bad for you! My three year old embarrassed me quite a bit just last week. I will not repeat the story, though! She is in her way-too-much-talking phase. Today she actually asked me, “Why?Why?Why?Why?Why?” She just never stops! It’s funny because she actually had a speech delay until 15 months ago. We worked on getting her to talk so much! Now we wish she would be quite sometimes.
AH! I did! I slip back and forth between both when I talk, but I usually try to keep it to “in line” in my writing!
Oh my god, I’m from So Cal too Heather and I also thought that was a typo! I mean “on” line would be what I’m doing now, right? Strange East Coasters.
And I think real tears came out when reading this story. I would have died, DIED. Definitely as one poster said a story to be retelling for years and years to come!!
Autumn Canter says:
My son drove me bat shit insane each car ride when he entered this phase. I’d start going, “Shhhh. Let’s just listen to one song in silence, please.”
Oh, my…thank you so much for starting my day with LOL!
Laughed out loud, thank-you for that.
I”m sure my co-workers are wondering why I’m cracking up in my office. Thanks for the hearty laugh this morning, it made for a good start to the day.
OMG I needed that this morning. She is hysterical!
OMG – in my VERY quiet office in a VERY quiet bank, I am laughing VERY VERY loudly!! I love your posts about Annie!
I enjoy all of your writing, but this was the funniest entry by far! Thanks for sharing all of your stories with us!!
I am crying–she is the best ever! (As are you.)
Kids say the darndest things! Thanks for a good belly laugh to start my day!
This is hilarious! My co-workers gave me funny looks when I laughed out loud and started crying, but whatever.
hahahaha love it!
That is Awesome! Oh, the innocence of children. You, and Annie, just made my day!
Lindsey Cote says:
LOL – Out of the mouth of babes!!!
That is so awesome! Love reading your Annie tales, but this one really helped make my day! She is just do darn adorable and that line “mama, his butt talks”… bwa ha ha! SO AWESOME!
I’m actually crying with laughter. These tears are for reals.
Leslie K says:
Oh my gosh, this is HILARIOUS!!! I have laughed and laughed!
Our youngest (who still talks SO much that we want to cry sometimes) went through a “what do dat ‘mell yike” phase. (Meaning what IS that smell??) It got interesting once while waiting in line and someone’s “butts talked.”
Oh, thank you! I needed that laugh!
Ahahah! Annie is the BEST! This cracked me up!
YES! Love it.
Hahaha, I love it. The things kids can get away with I love that the guy played along.
Oh, that was too funny! I need that laugh today.
hilarious!! I know I brace myself daily for the ‘mom, why does his face look like that?’ or other such embarasing questions! That is hysterical!
This story made my morning! I am laughing at work. I love that “butts” is plural!
Tammy M. says:
That is hillarious! I can’t get over how cute she is – and the way you write shows her adorable personality.
This is one of many reasons why two year olds RULE!!! LOL!
When my daughter was about Annie’s age, she was on a walk with my parents & my dad passed gas loudly & my daughter asked “what was that?” & my mom said someone stepped on a frog & it croaked. Of course my daughter then wanted to SEE the frog! So, they had to pretend to look for it while cracking up! To this day we still hear that story & call passing gas “stepping on a frog”. As in “Ewww who stepped on the frog?”
We step on ducks in our family
HAHA, that’s funny, in our house we call them barking spiders…but I like the frog idea too!
My dad calls them barking spiders! HA!
Haha, that’s too funny! Love it!
When my son was around Annie’s age he really got into the Wizard of Oz and we watched it everyday. all day. multiple times. ahem… One day we were out at a restaurant and there was elderly lady sitting at the table beside us. She was being polite and trying to get his attention to chat with him when he turns to me and asks “why that wicked old witch wants to talk to him & where is her broom?” We left shortly after
oh god! that is hilarious!!
Thanks so much for sharing that story. I just laughed out loud and snorted at my desk. It definitely made my day. I also have to give props to the guy for taking it in stride when Annie called him out.
Oh, I should add that my grandaddy always used to say “that was a mouse on a motorcylcle.” When I’m with my cousins now we always laugh about that.
Oh my Lord, if I ever need a good laugh, I’m going to read this story over and over again. That was priceless. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, but your audience appreciates the share!
We were once driving to visit family, about a 9 hour drive, and we stopped at a rest stop. My daughter was about Annie’s age and newly potty trained. Anyway we were using the potties and a lady in another stall was taking care of her business. Her bowel sounds were incredibly loud and everytime my daughter would ask what was that sound mommy? Of course she was not quiet at all about it. Once she heard the plops in the toilet she was dying laughing! I wanted to die or stay in the stall forever. However it got rather stinky fast and with my unpredictable honest daughter I knew we had to get out of there fast. As we were washing our hands the lady finished and came out of the stall. Once again my daughter had more questions. “mommy is that the lady who made all those funny noises?” “p.u. she is stinky, I have to plug my nose.” I was soooo embarrased. I couldn’t get out of that bathroom or rest stop fast enough!
oh my gosh! This made me laugh, but also cringe because that is soooooo my future.
Excellent job. I owe you $5. (Annie is way, way too cute)
Oh My I could just picture that, I laughed till the dogs were looking at me like I was nuts..
Thanks Annie for the morning giggle
My youngest, he is 8 now, but due to his premature birth is somewhat delayed, Went through a phase of “Why arent they speaking English”
We were in Walmart and they Philppino lady had a very heavy accent, My son looks at her and says to her” Why arent you speaking English?” She looked at him looked at me with a WTF look on her face and walked away. I should add, My husband is born and raised in the Philippines. So her accent wasnt new to him. He is also the one when my Husband tells him he is part German, Irish, and Philippino, he will look at him and say “NO I am a USA person (Meaning an American)
Priceless and the most perfect American Express commercial!
Off the subject, Children’s Place is doing a Model Search and I think your Annabel would make a perfect contestant and fabulous WINNER!!
Oh, that’s so nice of you to say! Thank you!
Laura M. says:
That so made me just laugh out loud…..that is something my two year would have done too, and when they get that way there is no way to deter them….hillarious!
Wow, this freaked me out because my son Connor, who is exactly a month older than Annie, has done this exact same thing. Asking “What’s that noise?” constantly. And when someone passed gas, he too made a comment about talking butts.
They are so on the same wavelength!
I love it. So glad the people cracked up over Annie’s comment! How can you not?
Tell Annie thanks for the biggest laugh I’ve had all week! From the mouths of babes …
I just laughed out loud! Kids are THE BEST!!!! Thanks for sharing such a funny story:)
Ha! Yes, I laughed out loud at that one too!!! How did you keep from just falling over?!?!?!
That’s too funny. Props to the guy for making it funny and acknowledging her comment!
I absolutely love your Annie stories! She is tutu cute!
Amber Bunn says:
That’s great! If you can’t count on your kids to embarrass you, then what can you count on? The lemur part cracks me up! My son has Asperbergers and therefore is always painfully truthful and often puts me in awkward situations… one time involving a lemur (kind of). We were on his 2nd grade field trip to a wildlife exotic park and they brought out a little lemur for the kids to pet, a bear cub, and a hedge hog. The woman was telling the kids all the great things the hedge hog could do (like climb the tree behind her). My son raised his hand and asked her to demonstrate his abilities and let him climb the tree. The lady said no because she didn’t want to have to catch him. Then she laid him on his back where he played dead and she said, “Besides he’s a lazy hedge hog anyway. I don’t think he’d climb for you guys.” My son’s response- “That’s okay, my mom is lazy too! She lays around all the time!” Several things happened at once- 1. His teacher quickly said: “Your Mom is pregnant and your Dad is deployed- she needs rest!” 2. Everyone busts out laughing 3. Everyone knows who his mom is since I am a highly involved parent and am on the PTA Board- so they all quickly turn to gauge my reaction. And what am I doing… sitting! I was sitting down! With a very embarrassed and shocked look on my face! That was 2 years ago- and everyone remembers it like it was yesterday!
OMG! This made me laugh out loud. So, SO funny!
i can’t stop laughing at this! kids are so painfully honest that is actually hurts sometimes. but you gotta love em.
I’m looking forward to that phase of toddlerhood, if nothing else because it can’t be as annoying as having a kid who likes to say “no” 5oo million times.
I would have been right there with you pretending I hadn’t heard anything. That said, when you have a kid who just won’t let things go (I feel your pain), they’re bound to call you on that white lie.
Hilarious! There is nothing more truthful in this world than a toddler.
this is one of the funniest things i have heard/read in a long time. i am very sick with the flu and coughing like crazy, but even that did not stop me from enjoying a big laugh. thnx!
Ha! “His butt talks.” This made my day. Thank you.
Thanks for the laugh on a day I really needed it… I love it when kids say the darnedest things,, just be glad she wasnt calling you out!
Now that just is too funny. Also loved ready all the little stories in the comments. Lol.
My son has a hangup on peoples faces. He has been known to tell people, even family friends, that they have old faces.
‘You have an old face.’
Honey that isn’t very nice to say’ says mommom
‘But he has an old face!’
Yeah…. so glad I was not around when that one happened.
That made me laugh so hard I cried! Thanks for sharing a great story!
Bwahaha, I love it!
Funny, funny, funny! Out of the mouths of babes.
This is my absolute favorite thing today.
Oww. My abs hurt from laughing so hard! That was hilarious!!
Oh,,,,My,,,God,,,,,was that ever funny!!!!!
I just had a terrible day, but reading this story just totally cheered me. Too funny. You’re going to be telling that story for many years to come. Thanks for sharing!
I am a lurker and I have never posted! I just about ROLLED off the couch laughing! That story made my day! That is soooooo funny! You go girl! Nothing like what comes from the mouth of an innocent child! You better put that in your baby book!
bahah! Love her, she is hysterical! Wish I coulda been there too.
on a side note, I agree you should enter her in the childrens place contest. I entered my little girl Jordyn # 16300 vote for her and I’ll vote for Annie!
HAHAHA! I can’t stop laughing at that.. sweet Annie!! Hahahaha. I just about DIE when we’re in a store and my 4 year old says, “Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?” Too bad these kiddos can’t come with a filter! lol.
I hope that made you laugh as hard as I did. So sweet and innocent.
That. Is. Hilarious. Sometimes that lack of a filter is a beautiful beautiful gift.
P.S. when my 2.5y/o starts asking me never ending questions – especially in the car – I always ask “What do you think it is?” She usually gives the right answer, and I don’t have to guess. I can just praise her brilliance. Lazy & effective.
I thought that would work with my daughter but her answer is, “I’m asking you. You know what it is. Tell me!”
Well…it could be a segue into potty training. Just tell her that her butt can talk, too! Funny little kid.
DYING of laughter over here!!! that’s one for the toast at her wedding!
That truly has to be one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time!!
I lol’d legit =)
This made laugh out loud! Annie is a trip! Thank you for sharing her stories with us.
This is hilarious! But what I am amazed about is the fact that Annie had never heard a butt talk before! I guess your butt and Mike’s butt don’t talk in front of Annie!
Mommy Boots says:
Annie reminds me of my Nellie SO much (I’ve said this like a billion times). Nellie says “What’s THAT sound?!” all the time, usually cackling when she does it. If it’s a sound she doesn’t recognize she’ll sit up straight, make a surprised face and say it very exaggerated. “What’s. THAT. Sound?!?!?!”
This cracked me up so hard. Nellie’s never called anyone else out on their poots before, but she makes sure she announces it to the world when she does it. Also when she has to pee. “I HAVE TO PEE PEE NOW.”
laughed till i cried when i read that last paragraph. still can’t read it without cracking up. #hisbuttstalk
LOL!!!!!! Couldn’t. Stop. Laughing!!!! Embarrassing and hysterical all rolled into one.
This song came on at work today, I almost died hahaha
I just laughed so hard. I really wish there was an option to Facebook “share” that post. Lol!!!
Leigh Elliott says:
I love this!
That is the most AWESOME STORY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love what the guy said!!!!!!!! Go Annie!
Thanks for the great laugh!! From now on, don’t call them farts, gas, toots, or any other name: just call them lemurs!!!
kari weber says:
I swear this is probably the funnies thing I have read in a long time, Heather! I needed to hear it too! It is also great to hear humor from you again, it has been a while…
On a lighter note, I LOVE lemurs, and totally appreciate your facination! LOL!
Oh my goodness, that is TOO funny — and I agree with others: that’s definitely an awesome story to tell when she’s older!
I am LOLing right now. Love that kid!