When I was a kid, I was always hyper-aware of fairness. Kid-defined sibling fairness, that is. You know, the “He got a longer hug!” or “Why is his piece bigger?” or “He got more presents than me!” The things that are of the utmost of importance to kids. I think this is because I am a twin and we were constantly compared to each other. Not usually in a bad way – I think comparing two children who are the same age is natural, especially for twins. But since we were always in the same stages of life, and often had the same interests, the comparisons went beyond reaching milestones. I’m sure our competitive natures didn’t help things, either!
Luckily, my parents were always extremely fair, not only with material things but with their time. Back then, I might have cared more about making sure I had the same amount of Lego sets as my brother, but now I can really appreciate the time I had with my parents. I especially benefitted from the time I had with them away from my brother. It was good for us to have that individual non-twin attention.
I actively try to give my kids equal time, which isn’t easy given the demanding stages they are both in. Annabel needs a lot of adult interaction and help with things, and that often means James gets set in a swing or bouncer while I take care of his sister. I know that right now, his needs are pretty basic compared to Annie’s outrageous demands (Mommy, I need help turning this chair into my pretend boat), so he often gets shortchanged. I feel guilty about that.
Except on Tuesdays and Thursday…those are my days with my boy. Annie is at preschool and I get that special time with my little guy. He’s almost six months old! I can’t believe it. When Annabel was his age, I was so nervous. I was terrified she’d get sick like Madeline, so I wanted her to grow bigger and stronger as fast as possible. With James, I can keep that nervousness under control and enjoy him. He is one of the sweetest babies I’ve ever been around, and I love our one-on-one time.
I’m especially enjoying the silly pictures we take while Annie is at school. I hope that he’ll look back at these pictures and see that we had fun together, even when he was a little guy. I also think it’s good for Annie to see me doing things with her brother, and it’s so cute how excited she gets over the photo and the outtakes (I post the outtakes on Instagram or Facebook). Annie has a wealth of silly home movies, and James will have the preschool photos. I hope these babies of mine will look at both and see how much I love them.
My wife made a comment about how he is so insanely adorable and perfect it is almost scary. I absolutely agree. You two Spohrs make some amazingly beautiful babies.
I was thinking the same thing. He is such a beautiful and happy baby that he just makes me smile whenever you post a picture. To be fair ;), Annie does the same thing.
If this little guy gets any cuter than he already is,,we just won’t be able to stand it! These photos of him are just unbelievably funny,,,love each and every one of them!!!
James is so cute! We have a child in our infant room that looks just like James and I had to stop myself the other day from calling him James. Even more interesting his sibling sister looks like Annabel in the toddler program.
Do you have relatives in the cold North East part of the United States?
The toothpaste one looks like Maddie! He definitely has his older sister in him, especially in the eyes. My kids look nothing alike
I don’t think they will have any doubt how much their mom loves them. love the pictures (& the videos). xo
Debbie A-H says:
I agree that there will be no doubt about how much you love them, but you’ve also made us love them. Thanks again for sharing. They make my mornings start with a smile.
These pictures are the cutest thing ever. They always put a smile on my face. I just can not get over how perfect and adorable this little boy is. God Bless your family.
So cute. He makes me smile. He looks so happy!
Love “while you were in preschool” pictures of James. He’s a cutie!
I completely feel what you’re feeling. I”m a second child and it’s always been a joke in my family about how much smaller my baby book is compared to my sister’s (my younger brothers is tiny and has maybe 2 pages filled out)…but now that I have two (my son is a few months younger than Annie and my daughter is 5 months today…come to Chicago…we’ll have a playdate!) I am constantly aware of the things I did/do with Noah that I’m not with Sonia. Luckily I’ve been keeping up with her baby book, but just this morning as me and my husband were running around trying to get out the door, and get my son dressed and ready to go, our baby girl was hanging out on her playmat by herself…she got fussy and I literally said out-loud…”Oh Sonia…our poor neglected second child!” But speaking as a neglected second chlild…we turn out ok, so don’t worry!
i don’t think i’ve ever seen such a smiley baby. jamesie is SUPER adorable!
I have b/g twins who will be 7 in December. I too tried to make things equal and fair because I felt like it wasn’t fair they both arrived together. But, it’s backfired. Because life isn’t fair or equal. My daughter is hyper competitive with her twin and tries to take away the spotlight any time it shines on him. Case in point, she has already lost two teeth, he lost his first tooth on Friday. She wanted it to be about her! I felt awful for him. This is a long winded way of saying, no matter how hard you try the fairness thing is losing proposition. And, no matter how much time you give, it probably won’t be enough (for a three year old).
My twins are 6 months old and my son is Annie’s age. Thank you for sharing your experiences as a twin. That helps me a lot as this is still a whole new ball game for us.
Your kids are going to get such a kick out of looking at these pictures when they’re older.