So this happened:

If you can’t see that because you’re, you know, “at work,” here it is in stop motion.

First she gets an evil “I’m gonna do something” face on her:

conquering the couch

Then she basically lifts her foot as high as her shoulder and plants it on the couch:

conquering the couch

conquering the couch

Then she grunts and wiggles and gets up on the couch, where she wreaks havoc on anything we dared leave on the cushions:

conquering the couch

conquering the couch

When that bores her, she oh-so-casually ESCAPES THE GATED COMMUNITY:

conquering the couch

conquering the couch

If we dare take her off the couch, a full-on tantrum erupts. Sorry Annabel, Mommy just doesn’t feel like letting you crack your head open today. Maybe tomorrow.

Mike and I are expanding the gated community while we completely baby-proof our place. Except Annie isn’t a normal kid – we really need to ANNIE-PROOF our home.

This is where all of you come in. Mike and I know the basics – block electric outlets, get drawer hooks, lock cabinets and the toilets. But remember, we are talking about a kid that uses toys as step-stools, who can open a drawer of her dresser half an inch and scale the entire thing. What are we not thinking of?

I’d tie weights to her feet, but I’m pretty sure she’d figure out a way to use them as a weapon against me.