I’ve gone to gyms off and on since I was in high school. I would always do my workout, then head home. I never used the locker rooms because I lived close to the gyms.
Well, now that I’m forcing myself to exercise again, I’ve started using the locker room. I mean, I can shower for TWO HOURS if I want because there is childcare at the gym! Do you know how awesome that is? Seriously, I motivate to go to the gym because I have a wonderful reward waiting for me – the hottest, most worry-free shower. It’s worth the price of admission.
I’m one of those people that works out in yoga pants and a ten year old t-shirt. This puts me in the minority. In LA, ladies love to work out in booty shorts and sports bras. Whatever, they’re models and actresses, so it’s basically an audition. I expect the almost-nudity on the gym floor.
I was NOT prepared for the constant nudity in the locker room. I know, you’re thinking, “Heather, it’s a LOCKER ROOM. Of COURSE there is nudity.” And to that I say no. No. This is not normal. The second I walk into the locker room, I am assaulted with body parts that only my doctor and husband get to see. Ladies just walking around like it’s no big deal that any gal who wants to can see their lady parts.
Chicks are walking around naked. They sit on the benches – BENCHES! – butt nekkid, and talk to each other. How is that sanitary?! They blow dry their hair au naturel. They walk from the shower to the dressing area without towels, just air drying. Which I’m sorry, that’s just an accident waiting to happen. The last thing I need to see is a naked lady slip and go ass over teakettle.
Yesterday, I was getting dressed after another awesome shower, and a woman started chit chatting with me. In the buff. Who was making no effort to get dressed. She was just…NAKED. TALKING TO ME ABOUT THE RAIN. And all I could think was, “look her in the eyes, look her in the eyes!” And then I wondered if she was like, judging me because I was using my seventh-grade-gym-class moves to get dressed without anyone seeing my special areas.
I’m all for positive body image. I’m getting better at liking my body, but I am not like, “WHEEEEE! LOOK AT ME, STRANGERS!! I’M GOING STREAKING!”
Call me a prude, but I just don’t want to talk about the weather while my hoo ha is on display.
dude, I totally feel you. When i was a member at equinox in the city, i would walk in and all i saw was boobies. women just have no shame. There are private dressing areas for a reason ladies!! I dont need to know if you prefer landing strips are natural. sheesh.
that reminds me of the time i was looking at my blackberry as i was entering the locker room and i almost knocked kelly ripa on her ass. she gave me a dirty look.
FYI my tshirts are from 1994. and not retro like either, I’m talking holes and everything. as you can tell, i care a lot about my appearance when i go to the gym, which is like umm, NEVER.
I’m thinking of that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine falls into Jerry’s girlfriend and totally grabs for the ta-tas.
“Well? Are they real?”
“Oooh yeah…and they’re SPEC-tacular!”
Yip, I’m in SA and the same thing happens at our gym. I try to look the nakes girlies in the eye when they talk but it’s distracting lol
Haven’t been to a gym in quite a while. And then I had a limited time for the exercise so didn’t spend time in the locker room. I’ve been thinking about going back, but ummm, thanks for the warning.
Annie Y says:
Naked strangers totally gross me out.
I TOTALY agree. Urgh. It’s so awkward. I used to live in Germany. It’s totally the norm there too. You get looked at like a weirdo if you’re not in the buff. Andy the benches thing…..disgusting…..not hygienic at all. Get a towel to sit on or something people. This is how diseases spread!!!!
Good for you for going to the gym….
Bobbi Janay says:
When in college, I took my friend from Germany with me as guest one day to work out. And yep I got to she more of her then I ever wanted.
Ugh, I feel the same way! WTH is up with these chicks!?
When I was younger and only had 1 baby (I’m 30 now, with 4 kids) I actually started going to the gym regularly almost just for the long, uninterrupted shower (young single mommy working and going to school full time and living at home with parents who refused to watch the baby even long enough for me to take a shower. ) The only downside? EVERYONE was naked. I actually started to feel super self conscious that I was the only person ever walking out of the showers with clothes on. (Yes, I’d bring my clothes in and get dressed after I dried.) I would actually sneak out of the shower area so no one would see that I wasn’t naked! I thought they’d think there was something wrong with me! lol I even made it my New Year’s resolution to be comfortable being naked in the dressing room! (I didn’t succeed. Went out in a towel and awkwardly changed holding the towel to cover my lady bits. )
The worst was that I worked at a ritzy private school at the time, and even though I was a poor single teen mom, I still went to my parents’ gym (Think Farrah from the MTV show) and I would run into moms from the school I worked at, and they would just sit and chat totally naked! It was SO weird seeing them later at school.
Honestly though, if I could have that totally fit, skinny little 18 year old body back right now I would TOTALLY walk around the gym naked! hehe
I’m curious to see from other comments. Is this the way it is everywhere? Or only in LA?
I’m also a yoga pants and old (usually my hubby’s) t-shirts to work out kind of girl. I feel SO out of place around the booty shorts and sports bras.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Hahahaha! This reminds me of when I did pregnancy aquarobics at the public pool. There were private changing areas, but quite cramped when you’re several months along, and there were more of us in the class than there were private cubicles. So – especially after class – we’d all get dressed together at the same end of the large change room. It was always funny seeing other women’s faces when they walked in to see a dozen heavily pregnant women struggling to put on their socks! (Or even, helping each other with their socks…)
We didn’t just swan around naked, though – we got out of the pool, showered, wrapped in (never big-enough) towels, and got dressed. No mucking around.
I am SO not moving to America!!!
Here in New Zealand we are obviously still pretty much prudes, well at my gym (not that I have been for over a year, but who’s counting) and swimming pool anyway . I totally have the getting dressed 7th grade style down pat.
Just before I got pg with my first child, I started going to the gym. And everyone did the naked thing. Walk into the sauna, everyone’s naked. Walk out of the shower, everyone’s naked. What the hell?? I felt like a freak for being dressed and hiding my lady bits!
I’m probably about halfway in between — I don’t see any reason to put myself on display, but I also see no reason for the total prudery you see at gyms here in Japan. It’s as if everyone’s back in 5th grade again, totally ashamed to show even a bit of SKIN — despite the fact that this country goes in for nude, group bathing at hot springs where you see EVERYTHING.) But once you’re in a locker room they stare at you if you don’t have a muumuu-type garment (gathered at the top, loose otherwise) to dress under. Hello, we are grownups, aren’t we? This may explain why many Japanese say they have sex once a year or less….
It’s weird, then, that nobody’s shy in the hot springs. You make a token effort to cover your bits with a towel when moving from shower to communal bath, but then you’re all in the bath together and see everything. AND many women walk around without even bothering with the coverup. Very schizo.
catherine lucas says:
Hmmm, I have decided a long time ago that my nude times are over. Not that they were really ever existing. We had those special towels in school with an elastic around the neck, some kind of a towel fabrics burka…
Guess you have to have been raised with nudity to really appreciate it.
I don’t mind other people going naked, I just don’t like it for myself… Since I have never of my life stepped into a gym, not in Belgium and not in UK where I live now, I would not know what the customs are… Now I know that I am right not go go… Bwaahahahahahahahaha
I can’t even imagine. Lol! This reminds me of the Sex and The City episode where Charlotte can’t disrobe in the steam room. The thought of ass sweaty benches are just…ick.
Ass sweaty benches are just…ick!
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Must be a West Coast thing. Out here on the East Coast, folks are less inclined to walk around nude in the locker room.
Lynn, I was about to post the same thing. In the YMCA locker room, I am naked long enough to get myself out of the swimsuit and into the clothes. Not quite seventh grade, but then I didn’t have a two-year-old grabbing my towel back then.
Also, I think it depends on the clientele of the gym. A bunch of suburban moms is probably less of a gratuitously naked crowd than a bunch of well-waxed, no-tan-lines LA starlets.
You’d be surprised at how many of our moms here fit better into the latter category!
I am an east coaster and the nudity at a gym my husband and I used to frequent a long time ago was bad enough that it ended our working out entirely for a number of years and inaugurated our own personal “age of greatness” (by which I am referring to the size of our bodies, natch). Also, I was traumatized by seeing my boss naked in a locker room. And finally, in college, I was victimized by the sight of a woman drying her ladybusiness with a hair dryer. Shudder. Oh, now I don’t know what my point was going to be. This post brought me to a dark (yet brightly lit!) place in my past.
All I can say is UGH! Never liked that walking around naked thing..too awkward. And the sitting on the bench–I think I’m going to lose my lunch.
I totally know what you mean. Sure it’s a locker room, but get dressed as quickly and subtly as possible ladies, please! You don’t need to parade your bits around. I also have a problem being comfortable discussing the weather with my hoo ha on display!
I can’t say much about the gym because I don’t go often, but I have to say that the walking around naked thing starts young. When I was working at a summer camp that had swimming the girls in my group (3rd – 5th grade… not little kids who needed help getting dressed) would walk around and try to talk to each other naked. I finally had to make a rule that you can not talk to me unless you have clothes on. It was just too weird.
Trust me, it makes no difference where you live, i happens here in the UK too.
I walked into the changing room once to see a large, almost elderly, butt-nekkid woman, frantically towel drying her hair. I was momentarily shocked, but though “No, be a grown up, don’t run out making retching noises, we’ll all have grey pubes one day”.
And then she decided to TURN HER HEAD UPSIDE DOWN to dry the underneath.
That’s right…a butt-nekkid, almost elderly lady, frantically towel drying her hair, with her head between her legs. And her arse FACING ME.
I will NEVER forget that image, or how hot I had to have the shower that day, just to feel clean again.
This one TOTALLY cracked me up!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning. And sorry you had to endure that, I can’t even imagine! I would have run out of that place so fast…
mary c says:
Ha! Ha! I just peed myself a little. You are to darn funny!
OMG, the germaphobe in me screaming right now. The pilgrim in me is screaming right now. This whole post gave me the heebie jeebies!
Exact same thing happens in our gym too!!
I don’t get it, I do not want to see anyone else naked!! I’m for moisturising but seriously put some underwear on whilst you do it!!!!
The first time I saw other women naked was in the pool change-room at my Canadian university. I could hardly believe that this was what real women looked like — not like airbrushed fashion ads but like seals, round but firm. Beautiful in a different way. It was an eye-opener in more than one way, and I have to say Ive always appreciated learning this.
Of course, these weren’t aspiring actresses showing off their implants. Or sitting naked on uncovered surfaces. At least at nudist resorts people carry a towel around for that.
FreeRange Pamela says:
I love that you know about customs at nudist resorts
I’m cracking up because this is exactly how I feel! The worst was when I took water aerobics with all of the senior ladies. I blindly walked into the locker room one day after class and was, uh, greeted by a 75 year old woman – spread eagle on a bench FACING me – trying to get her panties on.
I never went back to that locker room!
I just posted about the same guilty pleasure of a solo shower at the gym! Love it, don’t blame you for a minute for enjoying it too.
Second… wow, you must have a different brand of crazy out there. No one seems to walk around the change area of my gym here. There are signs reminding people not to sit naked on the benches for sanity reason, and most people stay covered in a towel. Maybe it’s because I go so early?
um, sanitary reasons… not sanity
although both would apply
Um, YES. And I live in Detroit where the majority of us are neither models nor actresses and it is just – gah. Horrifying. When my mother – a nurse! – complained about it, I knew I wasn’t being picky.
Also let’s talk about seeing a dangling tampon string. You don’t recover from that.
I too, have encountered that. I don’t mind it, overall. I just will not sit on a bench myself, completely naked and I try very hard not to seem as if I am trying not to stare. And I do my best to be cordial if someone should talk to me.
I can tell you a funny story…When I lived in Germany, my future husband and I went away for the weekend. It was winter, and we went to the hotel pool. Still cold, even if it was inside. After a swim we are in need of warmth…
They had a sauna, co-ed. I didn’t even bat an eyelash, no. I get my towel, he gets his and in we go. He sits behind me directly. We are all sitting ON our towels. There is one woman directly across from me and several other men. I do notice she is beautiful.
Pretty soon, I get very warm. And I am leaning back on my FH, as if I were a baseball player on the bleachers. Yes, you get the picture! Legs not crossed, completely naked with other men and the pretty lady, whose legs are crossed, in the sauna. I had no idea that I was doing it, I was just hot. It never occurred to me, either until several months later and the FH, he never said a word. We still laugh pretty hard and I still get embarrassed. I was 21.
LOL at the changing like you are in 7th grade gym, because I’m the same way! I pick the least crowded area to change and then change as if a fire alarm was going off. I’m amazed at the women (of all body shapes and sizes) that will just dawdle along. It became quite depressing to look at the young women and think – well, that was my body before kids. And then to look at the 80 year old women (the gym was connecting to a senior home) and think – well, that’s what I have to look forward too.
Lee Cockrum says:
The sitting on the benches without a towel bothers me, and I like to take a shower with shower shoes on, but the nekkid does not bother me. I am the oldest of 5 kids, we lived in a little house, shared bedrooms etc. I have probably flashed some people(through some tree cover!) when I let my dog out in the backyard in the am. The gyms that I have attended usually have some that go naked, some that do not.
Here in the South (Alabama), the gals don’t run around the gym locker room naked…. maybe we are behind the times (things get here from LA eventually!!), but in this case, I’ll take it!
They do at the YMCA in Mountain Brook, FYI. Blech.
OH MY! At Gold’s Gym and the YMCA in Huntsville, it’s towels, THANK GOODNESS!!!
You’re right. It’s not normal. Well, I guess I can’t speak for the area where you live/go to the gym. But I worked and worked out at gyms in Indiana, Kansas and NYC (Manhattan and SoHo). And that is not normal, the level of nudity you are experiencing. I wouldn’t like it either. Now I live in Germany. Germans have no problems with nudity and not just at the gym. But anyway…. just always remember to wear shower shoes!!!
Oh I so agree with you! It’s the same up here where it is winter for over 1/2 the year. The extra special part of it is the Y that I go to doesn’t have family change rooms…so when I take my nephew (who’s 4) swimming, there are lots of questions (he’s at the 10 million question stage). Oh the joys of the gym!
I feel the exact same way. I mean can’t people just put a towel on when they walk around? I don’t get it. I avoid the locker rooms except for a quick change.
I’m so with you on this! I love your 7th grade changing antics. I AM a prude, I change in a bathroom stall! If I have to take off my bra and struggle into my sports bra…. well no one needs to see that!
I live in Southern Ontario, Canada and there are always naked people in our locker rooms, but not usually chatting or sitting naked on the benches (ICK!)…just drying and dressing. I sneak my clothes into a stall where no one has to be subjected to my cellulite.
you are correct in your observations and i agree with you!
I 247,000% AGREE!!!
I DO NOT LIKE nudity at the gym….well, let me clarify. I get it, in the locker room, but is it necessary to parade around? I mean seriously, even at home I dry off and get dressed, I don’t walk around naked.
OH I totally agree! SO gross! Just because it’s a locker room doesn’t give you the right to let it all hang out!! Use a bathrobe or something!!! I live close to my gym as well so I don’t have to use the locker room. Plus I totally prefer to shower in my own place and be naked all alone! LOL
I very briefly went to the local Y every week last year and was stunned (stunned! I say!) by all the naked ladies in the locker room. I *always* used the two little changing rooms to change, but I was clearly in the minority. Every single thing that you’ve described in this post has happened to me, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be the same again.
Oh, how I can relate… I feel the same way you do and thought I was the only one who felt uncomfortable with all that nakedness running around. When my daughter was small she took swimming lessons at a pool that also had a water aerobics class. I was amazed at the older women who came and and then just totally stripped down in front of the little kids. Needless to say, I got her changed quickly and ran for the door. This was a great post to start my morning with, made me chuckle.. Thanks!
YIKES – gross! I agree naked is naked, but then there is all the time naked. When I was a collegiate athlete there were some places we would travel and play that we had to take “open showers” really it didn’t bother me, I was comfortable in my skin, but I didn’t lollygag and stand around … I did my thing and covered up. Some girls wouldn’t shower – and THEY STUNK!!! (getting back on the bus was hell with a bunch that didn’t shower) but then we had places we traveled that had stalls and really we ALL covered up – I mean of course you would see the occasional naked body getting dress, I didn’t try not to let anyone see nothing, but I did respect my body and their eyes – Wonder if the guys walk around like that too?! Gross … anyway happy showering and good luck not running into a bunch of people you know – it would be hard to look at them later in clothes! Hahah
HILARIOUS! Although I don’t bother with the 7th grade gym class moves anymore, I’m certainly not comfortable chatting it up until I’ve at least covered the special parts! Good luck!
I hear you. I never understood that level of comfort. Even when I was 25 and had a body that looked presentable nekid, I would wear my towel until I had my undies on and then hurry with the rest.
I can’t even imagine a locker room full of actresses and models doing that. I guess if you are in that line of work, any attention is considered a good thing?
Jen @ lifelove'n'wine says:
Haha, through this whole post I was like…I know, right?
Now I live in RI, so there are no movie stars here, but I can relate to the whole naked talking thing. I work at a college and we have a gym on campus. Last year I took a yoga class there and after class went back to the faculty/staff locker room to get my things and head home. While I was putting on my coat, one of my yoga classmates…a coworker….took off her shirt and bra and pants(!!!) and just started chatting about the class. I was in complete shock…the woman is like 50 so I’m trying to be all mature and not turn bright red. I was definitely focusing on looking her in the eyes. Awkward.
Oh my god, I was beginning to think I was the only person who thought locker room nudity was weird. I avoid the locker room at our gym for just this reason. I can do without seeing a bunch of women prancing around nekkid doing things people shouldn’t do in the buff, like talking to me, flipping their head upside down to blow dry their hair (not a pretty sight when you’ve got not clothes on!!).
I’m totally doing the seventh grade stealthy quick change in the locker room just like you
This post totally cracked me up….I am SO WITH YOU on this!!! There’s a similar attitude at my (East coast) gym, and I am just not into it at ALL. I mean, I’m all for positive body image, but c’mon – sitting on a BENCH?!?! That is nasty!!!
Jen L. says:
I’m SO with you on this! Over the summer, my son and I took swimming lessons at the YMCA. It’s about 15 minutes from our house and, inevitably, I always had to pee the minute we arrived. EVERY time Iwalked into the locker room to use the bathroom, there were about 30 pre-teen girls prancing around nekkid. It made me very uncomfortable.
Jen L. says:
I’m SO with you on this! Over the summer, my son and I took swimming lessons at the YMCA. It’s about 15 minutes from our house and, inevitably, I always had to pee the minute we arrived. EVERY time Iwalked into the locker room to use the bathroom, there were about 30 pre-teen girls prancing around nekkid. It made me very uncomfortable.
Love this post! 7th grade gym class moves. I am with ya!! I hate when I come into the locker room and of course my locker is next to the naked lady plucking her eye brows. Its just wrong!!!
Oh, if we lived closer, I would totally be your friend. I also work out in ratty clothes. I mean, I’m getting all sweaty and gross so I see no need to get primped before hand. Also, what is with the naked people? At least put on some underwear BEFORE you sit on the bench. That is just completely disgusting!
It makes you think twice about sitting on those benches doesn’t it? I totally agree with you, I will never get used to that scene and I will never be comfortable with it!
In the Minority says:
“Call me a prude, but I just don’t want to talk about the weather while my hoo ha is on display.”
Well, no one’s asking you to, but why do you feel the need to judge other people for doing so? I’m not very comfortable with my body, and I tend to get dressed as quickly as possible in the locker room. But kudos to the women who couldn’t care less – more power to them.
Agreed! They are called PRIVATE parts for a reason, people!!
I lived in Italy years ago, and I joined a gym there. I walked into the locker room, and there, naked as a jay bird, was my Italian language teacher Elisa cheerfully trying to engage me in conversation. Um. I could not even come up “buon giorno!”
I’m with you!!! That’s why I don’t use the locker room.
Michelle H says:
We are half/half here. Some of each. This made me laugh.
I heard the men are worse – especially the older they get!
I used to live in L.A., and now I live in the midwest, and I was just thinking the other day how I never see people in skimpy workout gear at the gym anymore.
My gym has a large senior citizen membership, and they are the least modest locker room demographic. I try to get myself dressed as quickly as possible and not initiate any conversations while naked.
Oh, and I could also do without people shaving their legs in the gym shower, giving themselves full-on pedicures in the locker room (like, cutting off cuticle skin), and waxing their mustaches. I think those are at-home activities.
I am SOO with you there. I just started back after a LOOONG hiatus (50+ pounds) and have been going for about 3 weeks. I go at a non-peak time and am able to use the staff locker room because I work at the university and use their sparkly new gym. Yesterday I went a little earlier and there were actual people in the locker room – three middle aged women who yes, were traipsing around nekkid. I’m not sure what was more disturbing, the woman whose parts had obviously not seen a razor in years or the woman who had just come in from jogging and had full, perfect, unblemished makeup.
I used to go to the Gym last year, but I NEVER used the locker rooms, I always went in the clothes I was working out in, and then went home and showered and changed (only lived about 3 mins away) but my neighbor Ryan used to use the Locker room and take a long hot shower after a workout, and he said this one guy would stay in the buff and to dry his balls and his butt crack he would hold them up to the hand dryer and turn it on and shake all around…….LOL!! EWW!! I was really glad to not be a man at that point!!
Blech and blech!!
Robin Oswold says:
I need to go back, but I was doing water-aerobics for about a year and a half. Mind you I was definitely the baby in the pool. It’s mostly for people with arthritis or people that need it easier on their joints. So………. are you ready for this visual……….. the people were still walking around naked only they were 70, 80 and possibly 90 years old. Can I say Yikes!!!!!!! I dressed quickly and got the heck out of dodge
I would totally be eying up the girly bits to see how many have had a wax job or who shaves, who just trims and who does nothing at all to their bush. And I’m a biggie on nip size. Are they small little dimes or are they big as saucers? But I’m a freak……..super freak. That girl is Super freaky……..
Anyway, I used to always EVERY SINGLE DAY get dressed in the private stall when I was in school. I was the only one who did that every day, but I’m super shy and have a horrible body. Even when I was only 90 pounds.
mary c says:
Your not kidding, people just don’t care. You’ll never have to go to a strip club, just go to a female lokcer room. Sometimes I feel so uncomfortable. I have to say my girls don’t look so bad after all. I refuse to sit in the jacuzzi and hang out if you don’t have a towel and we won’t even talk about the hot tub.
And the outfit is not sexy, why look hot, I’m going to workout and sweat!
This post made me laugh! I’m not sure which gym you go to, but I go to the YMCA. The kid friendly place. All I have to say is if any of the kids go into the locker room it will be HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Cause it gets pretty darn scary in there.
I am with you 500%.
I get that it’s uncomfotable to be walking around a locker room when everyone is naked. I agree that the bench is NOT a place I would want my happy bits on, uncovered and exposed.
I feel all of that.
But I am so disturbed by the amount of comments that are using the words “gross” and “ewww” and “blech”. This implies that the naked body is disgusting because… why? It’s old? It’s had kids? It’s flabby? It seems everyone commenting here is a woman. So am I. I don’t find my bits to be gross and I don’t find anyone elses gross, either. I may not want to SEE them, but I certainly don’t find them disgusting. I think people are beautiful, no matter their shape, size or age. I would not want to be the one who destroys someone self esteem with a look of disgust or an overheard comment. I don’t want to carry that. No one does.
I hope that no one who has seen me naked at any point feels that I’m gross. Doesn’t that kind of attitude contribute to the hatred women already seem to have for their bodies?
No offense to anyone, this is just my opinon!
I live in San Francisco, where people are even more “free” when it comes to nude conversations. A lot of them are also very, very old and have way too much body hair. My shining moment in the gym locker room was when a buck naked woman came over to not only talk to me, but also ask if I could help her hook her bra.
I feel like a weirdo but this does not bother me at all. What’s the big deal? We all have the same parts. I am one of the ones who will have a conversation with my friends in the locker room with no shirt on. It’s a locker room; at some point you get naked. Some of the women who don’t like it get changed in the showers and that’s fine. I think you gotta expect it in a gym.
In the Minority says:
I’m right there with you, Heather!
I went to a local rec center for open swim and had to confront many naked ladies in that locker room … WHAT?? I live in Cleveland, Ohio, so I’m definitely not surrounded by actresses and models … Far from it!
Trisha Vargas says:
I was like that in middle school, high school and now as an adult. I just wipe my brow with a towel and head home with the hopes that I might be able to sneak in a 5 minute shower before everyone else steals all the hot water.
I don’t even go in the locker rooms for fear of seeing someone nekkid and feeling all awkward if they talk to me.
Totally with you on this post.
My oldest daughter just went away to college, and her roommate is a naked girl. She likes to just take her clothes off and dilly dally around getting dressed and/or getting ready to go shower. When Mack first told me about it, I thought she was overreacting, but now I don’t think she is.
The girl has done this in front of some of Mack’s friends, etc. I think the last straw will be if she decides to pull a Naked Girl in front of Mack’s boyfriend. There might be trouble over that one!
Um, I’m just a little disturbed. I had to stop reading all the comments. Way to many tales of scary naked encounters. Guess I’m a prude too Heather!
Whew. I thought I was the only one quietly pretending to think it was normal but feeling a bit strange. A lot strange, actually.
The bench thing is creeping me out. It is unsanitary. Ugh. MRSA up the hoo-ha!
Heather I am the same way as you! I dress in the locker room as a “7th grader” and I am shocked at how some of those people just prance around in there.
In fact, last week I asked my sister in law (who works out with me) if it is weird that I look at the floor when I’m in the locker room AT.ALL.TIMES.
She’s like “You do that too?!”
I guess we’re all prudes.
I think this is SO gross but hey my butt hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 5 years. You should totally cover up the locker room sign and tape up a nudest camp sign. hahaha
Blech! That was one of the things I dreaded about my daily trips to the gym (back in my single days when children didn’t consume those days). It actually used to make me consider the men’s changeroom, I know they’re naked in there too, but the view potentially is better. Then I thought of Old School….maybe not so much better.
Maybe instead of a 10 year old t-shirt you should get a new one that says, “Nice Ass, please keep it to yourself and COVER UP!”
This made me laugh out loud in evidence class today. Ass over teakettle. AHAHAHA
I agree 100%. It GROSSES me out!!! “Perfect” body or not, I don’t want to see it.
judi mitchell says:
omg – you are so damn funny……I agree whole heartedly with you – put your clothes on before starting up a conversation and NOBODY needs to be naked to dry their hair. I don’t even do that at home in the privacy of my bathroom.
Ugh! Now I admit when I was in highschool and before I had my son i was one of those girls who worked out in a sports bra and booty shorts.. But as far as getting dressed.. Chuck the 7th grade stuff I got dressed in a stall.. I don’t want anyone seeing me naked! And I’ve only had a few nekkid experiences.. One being after my NOT EVEN TWO year olds swim class… Lady just walking around naked.. doing her hair and such.. uhm there are young kids in here (there were 4 diff swim classes ranging in age from 1-8… and I’m sure there were a lot of questions from the 4 year old boys in there!
Respect other peoples kids at least ya know?
I work out a a gym with a very large senior citizen population. A lot of them are European, and very comfortable with their bodies, even though they’re not in the best shape. It was uncomfortable at first, but it’s been a good lesson in accepting myself. Except I think sitting bare-bottomed on the benches is disgusting.
Jodie Brooks says:
This is just HILARIOUS!!!! I totally agree. I’m all for coving up and putting my ‘under’ clothes on while wearing a towel. I’ve had two babies via c-section and no cosmetic surgery. I don’t want to see my own body, you shouldn’t want to either!!
sitting on the bench naked without a towel under you…is simply gross and a very unhealthy thing to do.
walking around naked, completely naked without even a towel on your lower half, I just don’t get the point in that. It’s not that I think the female body is gross. Not at all. But we wear clothes to keep our private parts private, and being naked is naturally a “private” thing…and yes, it’s a locker room so you are going to see some naked parts here and there…like someone next to their locker who is changing, you are going to see something if you stop to watch them change or even if you glance over at the time they are unveiling…but walking around naked, blow-drying your hair naked, holding a conversation with a complete stranger while completely naked…what’s the point in that? It’s not a nudist colony in the locker room, last I heard. Get dressed and get it over with. Sheeeesh. I’m with you 100% on this one.
Yet…I’m wondering…do men act like this in their locker rooms? Do they walk to and from the shower completely naked? or do they wear towels around their waists? I keep thinking of that one scene in Jerry McGuire when Cuba gets out of the shower… you know, the “Help ME help YOU” scene…and he’s standing there having a conversation with “Jerry” and he’s not wearing a towel. So maybe it’s a normal thing to do for men? Mike? what’s your observation in the men’s locker room? Maybe you can enlighten us.
Picture this–gym locker room, I’m about 15. Unsuspecting me walks in after my workout totally unaware of anything around me because I am fiddling with my Sony Discman. I reach my locker area and look up. What do I see? A middle aged lady who is butt naked and facing me hikes her leg up onto the bench and PUTS IN A TAMPON. Right there in front of me. No shame. At all. And me? Traumatized. For. Life. That was about 14 years ago and I’m still not sure I’ve recovered!
YOU ARE NOT A PRUDE OR ALONE! I’ve been traumatized numerous times in the gym locker room! First of all, just like Seinfeld said, there’s good naked, and baaaad naked! Secondly, one should know the difference and if they and what they are doing qualify as bad naked! And lastly, since when did the 70’s bush become so popular?!?!? *barf*
Rachel Witmer says:
ok i may have the worst naked-in-the-locker room story ever. one day, about a year ago, i was walking into the locker room after a yoga class, where I (along with a bunch of other women) were greeted by a 40 – something chick, sitting on the floor, facing the door, SPREAD eagled. the worst part was… wait for it….. she was clearly on her period because you could see the STRING. OMG.
Totally agree with you. I don’t go to the gym anymore, but when I did everyone was naked in the locker room, and I don’t live in LA. So most people you didn’t want to be seeing naked, you know like the 70 year old woman prancing around in the buff. *shudders*
Finally someone else who has experienced the onslaught of nakedness at the gym!!! EVERYTHING you just described is exactly what I go through! I just don’t get why they don’t wrap up in a towel from the shower to the locker, I mean come on! I can’t imagine that people dry their hair in the buff at home so why on earth is is ok in basicly public? At least you surrounded by models, at my gym I’m surrounded by 85 year old wrinkly sagging nakedness….
Haaaaaaaaaaaa…. ass over teakettle! Can I steal this from you? How f-ing fabulous is that expression!
Oh, and I’m right there with you. Besides, if I walked around the gym naked (if I ever got my ass to one), they would be begging me to cover up.
Oh yeah, it freaked me out the first time I walked into a locker room at a gym and experienced that too! I couldn’t believe it, and I don’t think I will E.V.E.R be that comfortable in my skin to do that. I don’t even do that at home!
I love the daycare at our gym! They take such good care of my daughter while I work out and take a shower without an 18 month old screaming at me. It’s amazing what it does for my sanity! I’m in STL so I guess people are a little more modest but I still see way too much. I like the nice private changing room I use. I wish more people would use it too!
OMG! too funny! I feel the same way….just too weird! The nakedness on the benches though makes me re-think where I set my cell phone and water bottle down! EWWWWW!!!!
My thoughts EXACTLY – too funny! Enjoy those showers though and what a motivaton to get to the gym! Now, if I could just pry my sons little fingers off my neck and into the child care, I may be able to make it to the gym too
Just Jiff says:
WOW. I am a Southerner and I would freak out if people walked around in the buff. I’m not a prude either, but seriously… HYGIENE and stuff. I don’t want to sit where someone’s naked vajayjay just was. I don’t know where they’ve been or what they’ve been doing. Sometimes a shower just doesn’t wash off tough cooties.
Amen. To all that.
I never have used the locker room at the gym. Mainly because showering in anything other than my own shower grosses me out. (I am not fun to travel with…)
The whole locker room/nudity think is also a part of why I never went away to college. Living at home while going to college was much better for me than facing the dorm bathrooms.
Lisa from WV says:
Hahahahahaha. I feel the same way. Down to the working out in yoga pants and old tshirt. Not a fan of the nude conversations either.
Hmm, LA is interesting, no doubt. We’re a little more modest here in the midwest, but I’ve often wondered where and why “Naturist Societies” exist … although, you’ve cleared up the “where” question. Ha! There are even cruise ships that allow you to share it all now. Umm, eww?! Last thing I want to see is some old man’s rinkadink. I mean, old men in SPEEDOS are bad enough, don’t you think???
Hey, good luck with the gym … and enjoy those showers! Your sweet Annabel is probably loving it just as much!
Angie M. says:
hilarious!! i actually vented about this on my FB status not too long ago .. LOL
also, what’s up with the ladies that wear a TON of make-up – i mean eye shadow, blush, eyeliner, lipstick. Then they get on the treadmill for like 10 minutes so their bewbies can bounce up and down and pretend to wipe sweat off of themselves.
I work in college athletics, and this reminds me of the time that I heard a rival team say about our team after they all came out of the large locker room: they are way too comfortable with their nudity.
Oh, and I am a pretty fit 29-year-old who also prefers my t-shirts and normal workout shorts to sports bras and booty shorts.
Totally agree. I’m almost 30, and I still do the seventh grade, wrap the towel around and put my pants on, etc. There’s NO WAY I would walk around naked. Bla
Eric's Mommy says:
I am laughing so hard I am crying over here. That made my day! I do the 7th grade gym class moves too.
Also the bare asses/hoo has on the benches, GROSS!
I use the work gym, at lunch. Which means I get the joy of seeing my co-workers in the buff. Groody. I mean really, they wash the towels for us, so it’s not like using one adds any laundry to their lives. *Shudder*
I am still tramatized from the time I was up there, with a good friend who shares my cover & mind your own business in the locker room mentality, when one of the fitness center interns was up there. Lotioning. Nekkid. With her LEG UP ON THE BENCH. And jumped into our coversation. I didn’t go back for a week after that incident.
You had me laughing at “ass over teakettle”. Classic post and I totally agree 100%
Just wanted to join the minority voice here. I belong to an all-women gym in the Northeast. In the locker room people generally wear a towel to/from the showers, but few people cover up while getting changed or in the sauna (but everyone does put a towel under them to sit down). This isn’t LA and there are all sorts of bodies, and I’ve really found the whole culture to be great for helping me realize I should be comfortable in my own skin, especially post-pregnancy.
If you’re not a fan of going naked, that’s fine. But the women here that are implying that we should be ashamed of our bodies make me sad
Maybe it’s the Northeast? That’s where I am too and the nudity is not a big deal.
NO! That is wrong, wrong, WRONG! So not okay.
Yeah, this happens at my gym over here, too, and it still drives me crazy every time I see it. I just do not get it. I can’t get over it. How can they do that like it’s totally normal? How can they stand there naked and have a conversation like there’s nothing out of the ordinary? I’ve been wondering this for three years now. And the blow drying, don’t even get me started on that one. Talk about bad naked.
Maybe it’s our brand of gym!
Couldn’t agree more. Maybe I’m a prude, but I’m okay with that.
Ass over teakettle. HA!
Ok, first of all, sitting on a bench buck naked? Isn’t that like, a disease waiting to happen? Gross.
Second of all, are we long lost sisters? I’ve never heard anyone else use the term “ass over tea kettle,” except my mother, and now, myself.
ewwwww – sitting on the bench NAKED – now that is just plain nasty… LOL
Totally cracking up at your descriptions. That is way weird! I’m a modest person myself, so that would freak me out.
The thought of a two hour shower alone sounds awesome though, so I guess I’d have to force myself to the possibility of seeing girly bits.
I would agree about the showers…But sadly, our gym…Excuse me…The most EXPENSIVE, most sought after, most talked about gym in our area…The one every one seems to think is social status around these parts…has shower stalls the size of a bathroom scale. Don’t enjoy the hot shower very much when your boobs are rubbing up against the wall. I let my membership go….
Ewwwww.. I’m traumatized now too just by reading some of these stories! lol. Not enough hand sanitizer in the world to get me to sit on a locker room bench now! Yuck!
The naked and sitting on the bench thing is so gross I can’t even handle it. That’s one good thing about exercising at the Y– NO ONE sits on those benches! When I went to the fancy schmantzy gym, it happened all the time. Ladies, there are germs at fancy gyms, too. Get your privates off the bench where I just had my shoes!!!
Seriously… this happened to me at my last gym and it pretty much caused me to not go back. It’s just so uncomfortable. I’m totally going to own up to my prudishness.
OMG I totally know what you mean about seventh grade gym moves! I had no boobs when I was younger (and still don’t) so I would get teased mercilessly about it. So I had to learn how to get my gym shirt off and get the new one on by taking my arms out of the gym shirt, then putting my arms into the new shirt, and then switching them in one fell-swoop. Pathetic, huh? I still do that to this day.
As for women who walk around buck naked? I hate that. Have some modesty, people!
I live in Virginia and in high school my mom added me to her fancy gym membership for a while. I had the exact same experience you did. Not only were all the women in the hot tub butt naked (yes, the hot tub was in the locker room, not with the pool), so I never got up the nerve to use the hot tub, but there were naked ladies EVERYWHERE- drying their hair, sitting and chatting, getting dressed s-l-o-w-l-y with everything hanging out. It made me feel majorly uncomfortable and it was so hard not to stare at them too! I understand if you have self-confidence and you don’t mind if someone happens to see you while you change, but to hang out naked for a long time and seemingly flaunt your body? Yeah- I don’t know. I’m 23, and I’ve gone skinny dipping with my college friends, but naked ladies in the gym still freak me out. And seeing people sit on the benches is definitely the worst!!! EW!
I have a question though, were these women of all ages? The gym I went to had a ton of older women, so I wasn’t sure if it was an older woman trend, or those are just the only women who go to that gym.
Some of my most horrid memories as a child are from swimming class at the YMCA. 80 year old women, talking to each other in the nude, their boobs looking like so many tube socks with a golf ball stuck in the end.
There is a woman at the gym I used to go to who has fake ones and gets dressed (BUT NOT HER SHIRT), puts on her makeup topless, earrings in, everything, and THEN puts her shirt on. CREEEEEEEEPY!
This is hilarious! Great post. I work at a large university and get a discount to their gyms, so that’s where I go. So tons of students, yes, but I go to the one with the pool so there are also lots of parents with little kids. When I first began going, I was very self-conscious and changed in a bathroom stall, but I’ve gradually become more bold. Still, I can’t see ever just walking around naked. I’ve noticed most of the women who do that are older.
One time I was getting dressed and there was a huge group of unsupervised middle school aged girls around me. I think they were part of a swim team. Even though I know it’s a locker room and it’s OKAY, I was really paranoid of being accused of doing something inappropriate around minors. Or that one of them would just yell “EWWWW!” when my bathing suit came off.
He he he! “Ass over teakettle!” love it! Still cracking up. I feel the same way when I go to the gym. I chant to myself *don’t look down, don’t look down!* Uncomfortable!!
Amanda M. says:
I’m trying to think of something insightful to say, but all I can do is laugh.
I’m happy for your worry-free showers though.
“The last thing I need to see is a naked lady slip and go ass over teakettle.”
I’m not sure what part of a lady is a “teakettle” but this made me nearly pee my pants!!!
Totally agree sanitary issues of sitting on the bench nekked. EWW!
Love this, I’ll be back for sure!
totally agree with you! You totally make me laugh!
That is the craziest thing! I go to a gym in TX and have NEVER seen naked women in our dressing/locker rooms. There are dressing stalls available and everyone uses them without fail, as they should. You are not at home in your own bathroom and you shouldn’t act like you are. If there were naked women in my gym locker room – I’d find a different gym.
I’d like to know HOW in the world it can be acceptable to have nudity in an area where minor children can be and are – present? Many gyms allow minors to workout, but if I were to show my parts to ANYONE else’s kid, I would be in jail. Please let me know how there is a difference – because in my mind there shouldn’t be.
To those who claim the prudes are villains who want women to be self conscious or ashamed of their bodies and are promoting the longsuffering years of abuse forced upon women (yadda yadda) you are really stretching it. I don’t find it appealing to look at your bouncy, hairy OR scary parts, so don’t force me to. You can feel however you would like about your own body, but don’t force me to form an opinion about yours – because I will – even if it isn’t nice. Further, if it isn’t nice, don’t complain because I say something to that effect. If you put it out there for critique, you just might get it.
HA, I had to laugh when you said hoo-ha. My husband and I use that term here and there and last night I said it out loud in reference to my 2 Y.O. daughter. My husband’s comment was “really, is that going to be the official term”
Anywoo, I totally agree, coverage is necessary in the dressing room…..
boy, I feel lucky that this is NOT the case in the locker rooms and small gym in my office building — we ALL use those seventh grade tactics to cover up. Once in a while I find myself alone there, and it IS liberating to walk from shower to locker clad only in my 55 yo sagging birthday suit, but I would never want to do that in company!
This post made my day! Thanks for the laughs! In Vermont, the majority of naked women in the locker room are NOT models…instead they are tree loving hippies mostly over the age of 60! I’ve seen things that will haunt me for years!!
P.S. Earlier today as I drove along and admired the beautifully changing leaves in the bright sunshine my thoughts led to your sweet Maddie! Just wanted to share that so you know how much of an impression she (and you) have had even on us strangers!
TRUTH! Oh my gosh, I’ve been traumatized by gym locker rooms and no longer will step foot into one!
I can definitely not relate to not wanting to chat with a lady with her bits hanging out, but I think people are overreacting here. They’re just bodies, folks. No wonder we have so many hangups about how we look — we can’t even handle some nudity in the locker room! I’m not a fan of walking around in the nude but that’s my choice. If another woman wants to dry her hair (up there AND down there) in the nude, that’s her choice. Live and let live. And teach your daughter to be OK with her body.
Lindsay from Boston says:
When I visited Istanbul, my friend took me to an authentic Turkish bath and neglected to tell me that we wouldn’t, ahem, be keeping our bikinis ON once we entered the main area. Once I got over my initial shock, though (and that of one of the also naked matrons coming over to give me my massage), I actually got into the spirit of things. Still a little unsanitary, sure, but it was really cool to see so many women of all shapes and sizes taking pride in their bodies.
Now, mind you, I did all this in the name of a cultural experience. In an American gym, I keep myself covered!
I’m with you! I pull those same junior high locker room moves to avoid being au natural.
Denise Jones says:
haha Heather, I can SO relate to this! I am 55 and NO ONE is going to see my lady parts!! I am all about MODESTY. There are some things that are better left to the imagination!
I love my body, but i don’t flaunt it around strangers. I’m not ashame of my body…just modest. Sounds like the females in your gym think they’re at home. At home that’s a diff story. Although they feel comfortable…doesn’t mean all the other females there want to have a full on convo w/ a naked stranger at that! Ewww! and sitting naked on the bench… totally not sanitary. Gross!
soooo with you on this. It’s worse though if you don’t live in LA and the people parading around the locker room are 70 year old women.
Ah the joys of the locker room. I work out at a Y, and the women’s locker room is always interesting… NLs (naked ladies) and NOLs (Naked OLD Ladies) are always chillin’ in the sauna sans towel (shudder) and putting one leg up on the benches to put on lotion (no, I dont want to see your pink bits thankyouverymuch). I just try to go with it and look up and away, like I am thinking about something important.
Also, thank you for using the phrase “Ass over teakettle” . I used it all the time when I coached and my girls thought I was nuts. At least I’m not the only one!
Dawn @ What's Around the Next Bend? says:
“Call me a prude, but I just don’t want to talk about the weather while my hoo ha is on display.”
THIS just cracked me up!!!
Hey… and 7th grade locker moves come in handy in ALL kinds of situations, not just in the locker room.
I couldn’t even pull off 7th grade-style. On my (very few) gym visits before our wedding I locked myself in the bathroom stall to change. Partly though, I was hiding from the lady who stood in front of the mirror at the entrance of the locker room giving herself the once-over after putting on each piece of clothing or jewelry.
How does my butt look with the left earring on, how about with the right one…and on and on. It was endless…and horrifying
I have a gym inside my work (which reminds me I so have to get back there) and I really do the seventh grade omg hurry and change so no one sees me change. I really would NEVER be naked because the next woman walking in? Could be my BOSS. And I could never look her in the eyes again if she saw me naked or vice versa. I mean I could not see myself getting changed and her going, “So Jess, about that Spohr account, do you think they got their security worked out? Are they okay now?” while butt ass naked. No not happening. When we all did our girls weekend a few weeks ago we didn’t walk around naked in our chalets either. We were in our pjs but not naked. So yeah.
Not normal. I’m with you on that.
Sarah M. says:
Amen, sister! Sure they work out & sure they’re proud of their bodies, but why do I have to see every inch of you from head to toe? I’ll be honest, I have an okay body, but now those butt nekid women have me all self consious. Damn them & they’re perky boobs & cellulite free butt.
im with you, heather! although i dont know if gym-goers here in nyc are as “free baller” as they are there in la. i think some of it is context. when i was a dancer (not exotic! ha!) in a former lifetime, i used to walk around the dressing room naked, hold conversations about lord knows what and think nothing of it. its kind of like a locker room, teammate sort of thing. at the gym, however, these people are not my fellow dancers or teammates and *that* part is what gets me. im a nurse who spends more time than id like to admit up in everyone’s business. i dont have any sort of body issues with myself or anyone else. but, man, im not interested in getting that personal with some random lady at the gym!
kris (lower case) says:
ok…i don’t want to se myself naked…i sure don’t want to see anyone else naked… i mean really.. no thinks. not in jr high, not in high school… not in the locker room of your local fitness club..
HA HA HA! You are so right on with this entire post!!!! I don’t do the showers much at my gym but I have a time or two and I also LOOOOOOVE taking a shower without my 2 yr old screaming at me or poking his head into the shower 3 million times to see if I’m “done yet??”. Luckily the ladies didn’t walk around naked, or any that I saw, however I remember doing the wiggy jiggy jig in high school trying to get my lovely undergarments back on while holding my towel in front of me…usually over my chest, I’m on the small side up there…:(
Anyway, thanks for the chuckle!
Robin S says:
I think that is the best ending I have ever read, anywhere. (& for the record, I totally agree!)
OMG Heather, I am DYING. I think I honestly had a tear rolling down my cheek at one point. I’m also very excited because I get to share my own naked gym story! Huzzah!
Okay, so a few weeks ago my mom and I went to the local pool together (the Y to be specific) just to swim and hang out. A few hours later when we decide to head home, we figure why not just take showers here and call it a day.
So we head inside the locker rooms, and yes – naked female body parts as faaaar as the eye can see. My mom works out regularly and is quite used to the site – I am not. Like you, I try my damndest to focus on eyes ONLY.
Now for the greatest part of the story – we head into the sauna.
Naked woman in said sauna with us.
Naked woman in said sauna doing full-on NAKED WOMAN CRUNCHES. NAKED. SIT-UPS. PARTS WERE FLYING AROUND THAT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN FLYING AROUND EVER HEATHER.
Oooh the memories are coming back now. . .-cries-
The Husband is forever complaining about the Old Man Junk that’s on display in his gym locker room. Ew.
Ha!! My husband HATES our family gym for this very reason and goes to a completely different gym now because of this issue. Seeing the Governor of Idaho NAKED during his lunch hour was enough to make him switch…dude, you’re the Governor – put your testicles AWAY for Pete’s sake.
I SO GET IT. I was at the gym a few weeks ago and I was going to wash my hands before getting my things out of the locker and leaving. when a woman completely nude (and elderly) aside from the towel on her HEAD opens the locker directly next to mine (OF COURSE). When i try to delicately open my locker without making eye contact she says.
Naked Lady-‘Oh I’m sorry am I in your way?’
Me- No no You’re good
Naked Lady- blah blah blah gym, great, loves it, excuse her (but not for her nakedness).
holy cow people!
btw I’m from Dallas, TX. I would’ve thought there would be more prudes there than LA
Dude. My gym is sort of a fancy schmancy gym in my area that I splurged on because it has a hot tub in the locker room with a waterfall and menthol in the steam room. Heavenly.
Anywho – the lady bits. Take your gym – and age it’s members by about 30 – 40 years. The old naked rich ladies walking around all proud with their saggy old lady bits. And did you know you really DO go gray down south?!
Oh sister, do I hear you. And I’m the chick who keeps the towel around her while putting on her pants and bra.
OH! And for the record, at my gym if you sit your nekkid butt down on a chair or bench without a towel under you you can guarantee some old ladies are gonna raise some ruckus. There are even signs that essentially say – get your nasty self a towel before sitting down.
Bravo! You’ve totally sold me on never entering a gym again.
I totally know where you are coming from! i took my 2 year old son to swim lessons and the group before us was 80+ year olds. I know, obviously, that women get old. BUT OMG, I have never seen some body parts that begin to look like a horror movie before either. We would do the swim lesson, put our dry clothes on over the wet suits and get the heck outta doge before i saw something that would scar me into wanting all KINDS of plastic surgeries…Yea, we drove home wet and gross but it was worth it to sheild not only my eyes, but my innocent lil’ boys eyes. some things need to be covered up ALL THE TIME.
I’m with you on this one, I don’t understand it!! If I’m in a public place I will use my towel to cover all my “lady parts” and get dressed using that as a shield.
Heather I 100% agree with you! I am sorry but I think your “private” parts should remain private to everyone except ur signification other and your doctor. My husband and my doctor are the only one who seems me like that! I just don’t understand how people could do that… walk around butt naked and sit on benches were others have sat before..naked…. gross!!
I completely feel your pain – a trillion percent!
I hated walking into LA Fitness’ locker room and seeing nothing but naked ladies. HATE. It’s awkward. And I am always worried that they are sitting on the bench where I put my ipod or my socks. ICKY!
And I always felt weird because more than half of the women really needed to do some grooming. Seriously, it was like they were all in a secret competition for best 70’s “hairstyle”. ICKY!!
I commented when you first posted – but I have to tell you –
A few days ago I noticed a house in our neighborhood that had 2 storks out side with blue bundles … the family had twins – Yesterday on my way home I noticed that someone was outside, I backed up and decided to stop and say welcome to the “mother-hood’ and congrats. I talked to the man outside for sometime (my kids in the car ages 2 and 3) begging to get out – I told them NO the babies were too small at this time, but maybe in the next couple weeks – the nice man was a neighbor – he said he would watch my car if I wanted to run in and introduce myself … I said thank you …
He walked me to the door yelled at the “mom” who was breast feeding one of the boys – then he went to entertain my babies … I talked to the lady (mom) for a few minutes and told her I had lots of boy stuff – she then stood from feeding and began to cry! She asked me if I would take the baby … I did … she then continued to stand there with her breast hanging out – I tried so very hard to comfort her and ignore “it” but it was very hard.
(I breastfed both mine so it wasn’t that) ANYWAY I talked to her for a few more minutes – asked her if I could run my kids home and give them to their dad and return – she said “yes’ while sobbing. I returned to chat and help her … all the while her breast hanging in my face, but this time the other one – while I was uncomfortable I chuckled to myself that you had MANY of them your face!
Sad went away she laughed, I cried with her, and I got a new friend who by the time I left was terrified that she had left her breasts exposed! Hahahah
Had to share!
I am so with you on that topic. My friend loves to have conversations naked in the locker room. I have no clue where to look and she knows how uncomfortable that is for me. Then there is my friend’s mother, that is even worse for me. If your tatas and meow were meant to be displayed then it wouldn’t be required to were clothing in public. Just my opinion, but it is very uncomfortable for me.
I go to the gym. I do not go naked in the locker room and I keep most of my clothes on. I have yet to see a fully naked woman in my gym. I won’t be waiting for it. And now? I will NEVER sit on a bench in there. EVAH! ACK!
Well…At least you are looking at models and actresses. My gym time always seemed to coincide with the seniors water arobics class. Those little biddies were very naked. There were a few “changing” areas…like a toilet stall without the toilet. I often used those…or after my shower, I put on a clean bra & panties, then wrapped myself in a towel and pulled my pants on under the towel…and whipped off the towel at the same time I pulled on my shirt.
Rach Langer says:
I am SERIOUSLY impressed by how many euphemisms made it in to this post.
This was hysterical because I feel the exact same way. Half the time my only gym injury is from trying to get dressed behind the privacy of my towel.
HA! It is the same at the West Hollywood branch of the gym, only instead of totally nekkid, the ladies are ALL wearing Black Hanky Panky Thongs. ALL of them. Blowdrying their hair, hanging out talking, etc.
My sports bra was digging into my side and needed adjustment and I took my yoga pants and 15 yr old t shirt wearing self into a bathroom STALL to adjust. No way in hell is my belly going on display in a see of women with not a spare inch of flesh on them.
At the gym I go to it is mixed. You get the really old ladies that walk around nekkid with their boobs hanging low and the really young ones walking around nekkid with their perky boobs and then you get the rest of us that try to 7th grade or fight for the handicap shower stall so you can take clothes in with you and get dressed in there! I always feel so awkward around the naked ladies and I PRAY I never see a neighbor or person I know in there naked…some things are best left unseen!!!
Kristy H says:
When I did Physical Therapy last year, I did swimming as part of it. Now, I’d go in wearing my suit under my clothes, but after the therapy I had to change out of my wet suit.
I would go into one of the changing stalls, but there were 3 older ladies that would sit around naked, chit chatting, and I’m sorry but it wasn’t a pretty sight! I could deal with bras and undies, but BUTT NAKED? Nope! I got out of there as fast as I could, lol!
I’m a nursing student and I had to take a CNA course over the summer so I don’t even care about this kind of thing anymore, lol. I saw so many naked old ladies and had to touch so many naked old lady bits that I’m just like whatever. I don’t personally think I’d want to be naked in the gym locker room and the women at my gym don’t walk around naked either but if they want to, I don’t care. I figure if you’re confident enough to wander around nekkid, go for it.
I am so far behind on posts, but just read this and laughed my ass off. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who is like OMG lady parts!
True story: I am bi, and for a long time after I came out (to myself and others lol) I thought that my awkwardness with the naked in the gym locker room and in middle school locker rooms, and just all the locker rooms and places where there are naked ladies was stemming from that semi-attraction and fear that somebody would notice? But I realized not too long ago that it’s just that I’m not that free spirited. Like, I’ll drop trow around friends no problem but strangers is a whole other story. I’m gonna need some booze before I can make that happen, and I’m pretty sure they don’t sell alcohol with the sports drinks at gyms.
I do not get the aggressive lockerroom nudity. Yes, you’re fit (or not in my case), yes you’re naked, and you’re talking. That does not make you cool…well maybe a bit chilly but you know what I mean.
My husband relates the time he was in the locker room and he was treated to a dude on the phone, buck naked, doing lunges. Picture that. On the phone. Doing naked LUNGES. I’m not sure he ever went back.
Naked lunges?!? That’s genius! (I’ll stop now. This is a family blog.)