When I was at my parents’ house last week, I saw the old growth chart my dad used to keep on the pantry door. It reminded me of when I was a little kid how obsessed I was with being “the biggest.” I remember being excited when my shoe size went up or when I passed all the boys in height (I was the second-tallest girl for most of elementary school. The tallest girl ended up being six foot four.) It was a HUGE deal to me when I passed up my brother in height (albeit temporarily).
My grandmother used to have a scale in her bathroom. I vividly remember standing on it and seeing the needle hit 100. I was so excited I went and bragged about it! I was ten and I was stoked.
It makes me laugh to think about running across the street to tell my friends that I’d GAINED weight. I can’t imagine doing that now. But. I woke up this morning and realized that my 30th birthday is five months away. I’m not depressed about turning 30 – far from it. I love my birthday and 30 is a great reason to celebrate. I want to end my third decade on a high note, and start my fourth decade feeling good about my health. I go above and beyond to make sure Maddie eats healthy foods and has healthy habits, but I don’t do the same for myself. It’s time to start.
I’ve gone out of my way to hide my weight from others. Why? It’s not like people can’t LOOK at me at SEE what I weigh. It’s not like someone will suddenly hear my weight and think I’m fat. And really, so what if they do? The only thoughts that matter are my own, and weight is only a number.
A number I plan on only being at temporarily. This morning I weighed 157 pounds. That’s more than I’d like on my five foot three frame. I want to lose twenty pounds. Twenty pounds in five months. I can do it, I’ve done it before. I exercised today and I’m actually looking forward to exercising again tomorrow. I followed a diet and I didn’t cheat. I’ve turned a corner. I have a goal and I’m making myself super-accountable by writing about it here. On June 27th I’m gonna feel great.
I’m a regular Valerie Bertinelli up in here!