I threw my back out yesterday. I was sitting on the floor with Annie and it just seized up. I yelped and fell over onto my side, and I stayed there until Mike came home.
In my prone and vulnerable position, I learned a lot of things.
– Annabel will climb anything, and this includes her injured mom. In fact, she thought it was the BEST! THING! EVER! and my pleas for her to stop were met with her mimicking me and then clapping.
– I calculated that she will spend 1/4 of her adolescence grounded if she doesn’t outgrow the mimicking.
– Dogs are sympathetic to the injured, but not helpful. Rigby licked my face a lot. Lassie she is not.
– Texting “hurry up and get the EFF home” doesn’t magically make my husband able to avoid Los Angeles traffic.
– Said husband didn’t understand how I could text and tweet while I was in so much pain.
It’s a skill.
– There are a lot of random things under my couch. I have my suspicions as to how they got there.
– Based on my up close and personal perspective of Annie’s playtime, it seems like what Annie would like most for Christmas are some dog toys, remote controls and a new set of silverware.
– My rug is a year old and it still pills up no matter how many times I vacuum it. Annoying.
– When Annie gets tired of mimicking and clapping, she likes to blow very wet raspberries right in my face.
– Unprompted kisses from babies can heal the soul. They do not, unfortunately, heal the back.
After what felt like hours, Annie and Rigs had finally settled down – Rigby curled up at my head, and Annie leaning her head on my hip. Then Mike came home, and they both blew me off and scrambled to him as fast as their hands and feet could get them there. That’s when I learned that:
– Upright parents are WAY more fun than injured ones.
I hope you’re feeling better! The things I’ve found under my couch still have me scratching my head. An unopen box of crackers, a spoon, and some “we moved” postcards that we supposedly mailed a year and a half ago. oops!
I blame my hubby though because when he looks after our daughter, he lets her get into absolutely everything so he ‘s the more fun one.
We’re just a bunch of jungle gyms to our kids. My little girl likes to pull some wrestling moves when I’m down on the floor. I’m just waiting for the day when she’ll tag team with the cat.
Oh Heather, you crack me up!!! I soooo enjoy reading your blog. I cry with you about the sad parts and I laugh my a… off about things like that! Thanks for sharing your life with us!
A dog with a spoon in this mouth with remote will be the perfect gift :))
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
I feel guilty – I am laughing at your expense! Hope you feel better SOON.
Often we are the source of our children’s amusement. And to those that read our blogs. I hope your back is better soon!
You should think yourself lucky, my dog is an unneutered male English Bull Terrier cross, and therefore 60lb and horny. I can only *imagine* what would happen to me if I were stuck in your position.
Hope you’re back is feeling better soon, Heather. Annie is no lightweight to have to tote around! I know you were in a lot of pain, but it sure would have been fun for us to watch all of the entertainment that Annie and Rigby were displaying!!LOL
Bill had the same experience a few years ago when his MS relapse occured. He lay on the floor for 3 hours begging our youngest, then a toddler to ‘bring Bill to the phone… no, the real phone, I don’t want to take to Elmo’
Ouch! Hope you feel better! Entertaining post though!
Oh no. I hope you are feeling better soon.
When Maya was little she was really drawn to dog and cat toys too. What is up with that. Whenever we went to the homes of friends with dogs she would make a b-line for their stash of dog toys.
Aw, Heather! I was totally giggling at this – but genuinely hope your back is better soon, that’s the pits.
Momma Lioness Michele says:
Oh, Heather, I am so sorry! I’ve done this to my back a few times and it’s horrible. On Sunday I was dangerously close to throwing my back out and took it easy, and even that hurt like hell. I really hope you’re better today. Your ability to write something as funny as this post while in the pain you’re in is truly a sign of what a talented writer you are! Take it easy today!
I would love to see Annie blow rasberries, that would crack me up. I hope you are feeling better. Rest and let Annie take charge.JK!!
I feel horrible for laughing on your expense but I can’t help it. I hope your back gets better soon!
Oh no! I hope your back feels better soon!
(Although the post still made me laugh, sorry! )
Take care of yourself Heather!! Hope your back gets better soon!
Please let us know how she mimicking you. I mean was she lying on the floor grimacing or what?? Curious minds want to know. Love your (and Mike’s) writing.
I am trying so hard not to giggle, Heather. Because 1) you totally don’t deserve to be writhing in pain and 2) because karma is a…well…you know.
I have to say, I empathize. Saeryn treated my last migraine with lots of “love” taps to my general head region. And yeah, mamas on the floor are totally synonymous with “rock climbing adventure”.
wish i could virtually send you one of my muscle relaxers. i popped one last night for my jaw, of all things. i’m still stoned as hell from it.
back spasms are not supposed to happen to a mom!!! feel better soon!
This reminds me of the time i took care of my BFF when she threw her back out, she was single at the time therefore no strong man around and all. I had to shower her. Change her. Cook for her. AND help watch her FOUR kiddos and my own:/ Yea i pretty much won the prize for best friend ever!
Recently when she threw her back out again.. i told her I’M SO glad you have a fiance now!!! lol
ALSO- please get better soon..pretty sure you’re gonna get tired of your face being licked and thought of as a climbing toy.
Hope your back is back to normal and doesn’t give you any more problems!
Hope you’re healing! Feel better!
OMG…the SAME. EXACT. THING. happened to me last year when we were moving. Right down to staying on the floor for about 3 hours until my husband could get to the old house to get my muscle relaxers and then back home. Teaches me to actually, you know, PICK UP the house and then DARE to lay on the floor to play with my child.
I hope you are feeling better today…or at least have some nice drugs to help block out the pain
my daughter would like those same exciting things for christmas hahahah
I hope you are feeling better!!
I hope you feel better soon. But your pain made for a very funny post.
Putting your back out is the worst. Especially when you put it out by doing nothing. I’ve put mine out sitting down, picking up a paper plate, and by doing nothing.
Wet baby raspberries can be quite healing.
You in pain – not funny. Your notes from the rug – hilarious. I’m sitting at work laughing and I think they’re on to me now that I wasn’t working but reading your blog.
I am so sorry your back went out. I am glad that you were in a safe place and that Annie and Rigby could be safe with you. I hope you get to feeling better very soon. Back pain is no fun at all!
Oh noes! I hope you feel better soon. On the bright side, at least your baby leaned against you when she got tired. Mine abandones me without a backward glance when she gets bored. And that is in the absence of an upright parent.
owie! Get better soon!
(Oh and I figured it out, babies and animals think it’s hilarious to lay ALL over you when you hurt or are sick. I think it’s in their DNA.)
Feel better – hope that you are an upright parent again soon! Take care.
Random but is your rug from pottery barn? They will refund you because that pilling problem is a known issue ( we returned ours after 2 years for a full refund!)
Hope you are feeling better.
My son climbs my husband regularly. He calls it the “daddy ladder”. Hope you feel better soon!
I hope your back feels better soon, I know how miserable that can be. My husbands is *thisclose* to going out, he twisted it the other day.
“Momma mountain” is a regular game around here – more fun when you are not in pain!
I had a similar experience with my son. I have a problem with motion sickness and the stupidest thing will get the world to twirling and I am down for the count. My sympathetic son who was probably around 2 at the time would mimick the gagging noises Mommy was making when she got sick.