At Annie’s 18 month visit, Dr. Looove gave me a pamphlet about potty training. POTTY TRAINING Y’ALL. I had no idea this was something I was supposed to start concerning myself with already. But Dr. Looove is the expert, so I read the pamphlet…and I took some notes. I decided I’d use the weekend to implement some of the pamphlet’s suggestions.
Well, not only am *I* not ready, but THREE MONTHS? It will take THREE MONTHS to potty train Annabel? I can barely make it three months without soiling MYSELF. And now I have to dedicate three months to teaching Annabel not to crap herself? This is problematic.
When I first read this I thought, “So what you’re telling me is I now have to invite Annabel to be with me the two minutes I get to myself every day.” Awesome. After living with the idea a few minutes, however, I told myself that I was a gamer and could do it. So I brought Annabel into the bathroom, and she was psyched. I showed her my…business…in the toilet bowl, and she gave me a confused look as if to say, “And why exactly are you showing me THAT?!” I then taught her how to flush. She did it once, then, for her own amusement, flushed the toilet again. And again. AND AGAIN. All within the span of five seconds. Thanks, pamphlet… our water bill is now going to be astronomical.
OK, we don’t have a potty chair yet, but I figured cutting out the middle man was fine. So back into the bathroom we went, this time with a dirty diaper. Annie was THRILLED to be near the toilet again. I started the big show of dumping her dump into the toilet when she interrupted to say, “Annie do!” Instead of telling her no, I tried to speed up the process of pouring out the contents of her diaper…and missed. Ugh. As I began the (disgusting) task of picking up poop off the floor, Annie maniacally flushed the toilet over and over while chanting “fush fush fush!” I am traumatized.
Um…is wiping not a step? WITHER THE WIPING?! Isn’t this where we are supposed to teach her about front to back? I feel like it is a CRUCIAL step. Also, if the person who wrote this pamphlet doesn’t know about wiping, should we really trust them?
Where do I begin…
- Teach the vocabulary (pee, poop, potty, etc.)
- I am happy to teach this vocabulary, but will someone please tell me what etcetera is in this case? Seriously.
- Clarify that everyone makes pee and poop.
- I have it on good authority Oprah doesn’t make poop.
- Point out when dogs or other animals are going pee or poop.
- I’m pretty sure this will give Rigby a complex, but fine.
- Clarify the body’s signals when you observe them: “Your body wants to make some pee or poop!”
- This actually isn’t hard, as Annie likes to hide behind the couch when she poops. So I said, “Annie! Your body wants to make poop right now!” and she looked back and me and replied, “Elmo.” I feel like maybe there is a communication barrier.
- Praise your child for passing poop in the diaper.
- High fives are now issued whenever someone poops.
- Do not refer to poop as dirty or yucky stuff.
- I am in the market for adjectives for poop that aren‘t “dirty,” “yucky,” or “holy mother this stinks.”
- Make changing diapers pleasant for the child so he will come to you.
- When I change Annie’s diaper, I place her on a table covered with the softest material I’ve ever felt. Her body is cushioned and the wipes I use are room temperature. I do not know HOW I can make this experience more pleasant for her. I can think of a MILLION ways to make the experience more pleasant for ME though.
The last page of the pamphlet says that your child is labeled “resistant” to potty training if the approach described doesn’t work after six months. I think it’s safe to say that if it takes me six months to potty train Annabel, I’ll end up in diapers in the looney bin.
So realistically, when is the rough age that little girls potty train? And if you have a gifted child who potty trained at 18 months, lie to me.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
We were thrilled when Pearl was fully trained at 2 1/2. Fainjin (4 1/2) is only just trained. Babess just turned 3, we haven’t started with her yet (mostly ‘cos it’s winter and she is so small she falls in the toilet!). So I wouldn’t panic about Annie just yet
But good luck!!!
Cindy says:
I waited until they were ready, my daughter was 2 years 3 months old and she only took three weeks from nappies all day/night to no nappies day and four weeks to day/night. Make sure they don’t have a drink after 30 minutes to bedtime and go to the toilet before bed. My son was 2 years 5 months and took approx 5 weeks to no nappies day/night. I had a few friends that wanted the perfect baby milestones and started at 18 months but their children weren’t ready, they perservered for more than 5 months and still hadn’t got it and were closer to 3 years old. A couple of others did ok by 2 1/4 but started two months earlier. It really does depend on the child. Everyone is different.
Good luck with it Heather!
Kara says:
I have 4 teenagers but they potty trained between the ages of 3 & 5.
I had to laugh because you made me remember that my oldest use to hide behind the sofa when she had to poop too LOL
Robin says:
I introduced my daughter to potty training around 18 months. Maybe even earlier. I was due with baby #2 around when she was 18 months and I didnt want 2 in diapers. Yeah, well easier said then done. She did pick up pooping in her potty really quick but still peed in a diaper until she was almost 3. I do have to say,it was so nice not having to wipe smashed poop off of her but for nearly 1.5 years. No matter what I did though, I just couldnt get her to pee on the potty. She finally did it when she was ready too. GOOD LUCK!
Kristen says:
My daughter was potty trained at 3 on the dot, son was 3 yrs 2 months. Both wanted to do it at that point, and it was quick. I originally tried at 18 months, and again at 2 and had zero success with both. They did it when they were ready, end of story.
Noelle says:
Same here. I tried to potty train my daughter around 20 months. She seemed up for it until the potty seat was cold one day, she sat on it, popped right back up and wouldn’t go near it again until she was 2-1/2. I tried all the tricks: princess underpants, m&ms, potty chart, promises of preschool, etc. She could do it, she just didn’t want to. Until she saw a bright red Dora potty seat in Target. She was obsessed with Dora, asked what it was, I told her, she asked if we could buy it, I said we would get it if she would use it. She said she would and she did. Done that day.
They do EVERYTHING when THEY’RE ready! Don’t worry about the super-pooper who potty trained himself at 18 months. Most kids get it by age 3, and that’s fine!
Sheryl Macnie says:
Both my daughters were trained at about two and a half. Started at around two half heartedly and then in earnest at about two and four months. Toughest bit is what to do when you leave the house. You´re not supposed to use pull ups or anything as that just confuses them. I uses some really good cloth training pants which let them feel wet but don´t let the pee or poop escape to their clothes. Good luck!
andy says:
BURN the pamphlet!!! The people who write these things DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN. Also, only take advise on this topic from Dr Love if SHE has children. She may be a great doctor, but they do not teach doctors about potty training. So unless she’s done it herself, she’s in no position to pass on info about it.
And then wait for Annie to start telling you that she is uncomfortable in dirty diapers and then offer her the option of going in the potty instead. You can spend 3-6 months training yourself to recognize signs about what Annie is doing, or you can spend 1 month watching Annie learn to do it on her own.
Good luck!
Island Mom says:
This is EXACTLY what I would say. I had a friend who attempted starting to potty train her daughter at 18 months, and you know what? The kid still wasn’t fully potty trained until she was three.
I know that boys typically train a little later than girls, but Island Boy was fully potty trained at 3 yrs and 2 months. I wouldn’t say that we fully devoted three months to it, or at least not officially. It was more, we’d sit him on the potty before baths, and any time he said he wanted to use it. And we started rewarding him for pooping on the potty (he learned to pee first).
And I believe in this case, the “etc.” refers to body parts…bottom, vagina, ureter if you’re so inclined.
Mom again says:
Etc also refers to other words a family might use for poo or pee. Ranging from quite reasonable variations due to ethnicity to bizarre things because some people are just weird.
Island Mom says:
I should also add:
The BEST piece of potty training advice I ever got (at least with regards to boys) was to wait until he started consistently waking up dry at night. I know some kids take much longer than others with this, since it’s physiological more than daytime potty training is. BUT….I did. He started waking up dry sometime around 2.5, and was consistently doing so by 2.75-3 years. I avoided having to use pull-ups altogether, even at night or nap time. When we finally managed to strong-arm him into underwear (that truly was the last hurdle…the kid absolutely hates change of any sort), he had all of about 2 accidents in the first week (never poop, only pee), and that was that. SO worth the waiting. I had the same spare change of pants and underwear in my bag for two months before we had to use them (just recently, and that was because of a lack of speed in getting to the potty on *my* part, not because of him).
erin says:
Yes- best advice (for girls, too):
“The BEST piece of potty training advice I ever got (at least with regards to boys) was to wait until he started consistently waking up dry at night.”
My first daughter was pott y trained at 2…my second and extremely strong willed child was 3- and it had to be her idea not mine… You’ll be fine!
Jen says:
On the flip side of this, if I waited until my oldest woke up dry at night, we’d still be in diapers (he’s 5 and starting kindergarten next month.) He’s such a sound sleeper that he doesn’t wake up to go to the bathroom. He was potty trained (day time) at 2 1/2 years old.
colerose says:
Ditto to Jen’s comment. EXACT same situation. Not looking forward to heading to school and wearing pull ups at night, but our doctor says he’ll grow out of it.
Dianne says:
@Jen: I have a 5 yo boy who also is starting Kindergarten in the fall and who is also still not dry at night. Not even close! He is such a deep sleeper (doesn’t wake when he falls out of bed) that there really is no way he could wake himself to pee at this point.
But with my daughter, I did start potty training her when she was consistently dry at night. My first step was to have her sit on the potty right away after waking up. She was full enough from the night that lots came out and it was very exciting for her.
With her, we also went straight from diapers to underwear during the daytime. (We still put her in a pullup for a week or two until we saw that she could wake up in the middle of the night and recognize that she needed to go potty.) When we first started with potty training, she would take off her diaper herself for a while if she wanted to pee and then I’d put that dry diaper back on. Soon, we went out and bought big girl panties…letting her pick them out herself. For the first few days in panties, if we were going somewhere that I was worried about accidents (church, etc.), I would put a pullup on her OVER her underwear to “keep your pretty panties clean”. That only worked with her for a few days, but it gave me the reassurance that I’d have no embarrassing puddles to clean up at church.
Stephenie says:
The best advice I ever got was from my mother. When they sleep all night without wetting their diaper/pull up, they are ready. And once that starts happening, take them straight to the potty when they wake up. Presto…potty trained. Oh, and when she goes behind the couch, take her to the potty before she starts or as soon as possible. Just sharing what worked for me, but I know you’ll do a great job!!
Colleen says:
OMG! You have to be kidding….sounds like a nightmare. Get the book, HOw to Potty Train your Child in One Day. I used it twice, once on my 18 month old girl and once on my 2 1/2 year old boy.
It took my daughter three days to poop in the chair, but she never wet herself after the first day…..if she’s ready it shouldn’t take more than a week.
Teki says:
Used that book too and it worked great!!
chris d says:
My daughter was 2 1/2 – it was summer here in the great white north. Had the potty around but never bothered “training” her. That day, I explained it was potty day and it was time for her to be a big girl. She loved pretty things, so I presented her in a pair of brand new never-before-seen pretty panties and put her in a dress and went outside into the back yard. With the potty and lots to drink. The inevitable happened, and she didn’t like messing up her new panties or the feeling of the pee running down her legs – so I explained if she wanted to keep her panties dry and pretty she had to put her pee and poo in the potty. Natural consequences – and she was trained in ONE DAY. And it wasn’t me wanting her to do something – it was her wanting to keep her new panties dry… so no power struggle. (Of course, we made a big exciting deal when she started to pee on the potty and had other new panties to put on in case of accidents.) A friend started before 18 months and it was way more trouble than it was worth – a lot more work and struggle for the parent and the results were similar. I agree – they do it when they are ready. Easy peasy.
katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
I don’t even bother trying to potty train until my child is at least two years old — 0ld enough to tell me, “Hey, I have to go the potty!”. I know that many potty train at 18 months, but I’m in no rush to get them out of diapers when they are still babies. Seriously, it can be a lot of work to potty train a baby. I’d rather potty train an almost-preschooler. It typically takes less time the older they are. All of my girls were out of diapers at age two/ two and a half, and my boys by age two and a half / three. It never took me more than 3 days to have a child completely potty trained, sometimes even less than that. The key is to potty train not when YOU are ready, but when the child is ready. When the child is ready, potty training can be fairly simple.
Tam says:
Lucy toilet trained at 2. Because childcare toilet trained her. I was all “no way, not ready nu-uh” and they were all “just send some undies, we’ll see what happens”.
2 Days, ya’ll. 2 days and she was doing EVERYTHING in that potty. At childcare. At home she was still pooping all over my floor for another three months.
Good Luck. I don’t envy you. But I will Pray.
Nancy says:
Yes for starting early! I was told by some moms in our playgroup that if they are started early ( by giving lots of water all day so they keep needing to go), you will skip over that “I’m going to pee/poop when I feel like it to piss you off” phase. So I was really really nervous (first time mom with a boy), but we started at 17 months. At 18, he was done! At age 3 now, he is still not night trained but I’m not complaining.
Holley says:
Both my kids were potty trained between the ages of 3 and 3 1/2. we tried to do it at 2 1/2 for our daughter, but she lost interest right away and we didn’t want to push it. We didn’t need to because my husband is a stay at home dad, but lots of families must do it earlier due to daycare or preschool requirements. I wouldn’t stress about doing it before you are both ready. As Andy said above, wait until she is expressing some discomfort at the messy diaper.
We used a combination of video–quite possibly the most horrible moment for my husband but Angie loved it–and books. There is a board book for boys and one for girls that talks about going potty and both my kids loved their gender appropriate book.
My daughter hid behind the sofa too.
Mom again says:
If you want videos, Heather, I have 2 for you. ( the grown up sister forcibly potty trained by her step mom lives with us. At chromes, when she was home a lot, she was a bit bothered by baby bro still not being trained, and bought 3 videos for him to watch. One is boy specific but you are welcome to the other two.
Angel says:
I used Elmo’s Potty Time and Potty Power DVD for my daughter to introduce her to the idea. My ex husband and I took her to the store to pick out underwear (she picked Elmo). The DVDs worked after he watching them a couple times as well as watching me use the bathroom. She was about to turn 2 a few months later. But good luck!
Stephanie says:
Ok so it grosses me out to see a child who is 3+ who is not potty trianed. Anyway, I have potty trained two and they were both two years old.
Also- I am the third of three children all two years apart and my mother did not want two children in diapers at the same time so we were all two or younger when we trained.
I have a nephew who is a month shy of four years old. He is positively trained, does not have accidents, yet he will go to his parents and say “I have to poo put a diaper on my”, they will and when he is done he orders them to change him. He refuses to go poo in the toilet. This is absolutely disgusting and it is pure laziness on his parents.
es says:
I think you are being very close-minded. Just because you have been lucky enough to have no problems toilet training your children does not mean that parents who have older children that are not trained are “lazy”. Some children have a physiological readiness earlier than others, and there is nothing a parent can do to change that. My twins were toilet trained 6 months apart from each other (my daughter at 2 1/2, my son at 3) because I waited until they seemed ready- I never forced it on them. I have a friend who had major problems teaching her son to poop in a toilet, so much so that she took him to a psychologist specializing in toilet training. Many children have real fears about it that are difficult to overcome. It would serve you well to be a little less judgmental of others.
Mom again says:
I learned my lesson with food. My younger siblings and cousins and my older children were willing eaters. Didn’t even have to be food for them to be willing to try it. Each was a little hesitant at some point over some particular food but generally ‘good eaters. I was so all over the idea that if you offer a variety and model a good attitude toward it, they will eat just fine. And anyone whose child didn’t behave the same had obviously brought the situation on themselves as every new eater I’d ever dealt with opened their mouth like a little bird and let you shovel it in.
Then I began trying to wean my son. He turned his head to deny entry to everything. He rarely even chewed on tethers or other toys! Random stuff on the floor was no hazards. Even now it takes a great deal of convincing to get him to try an unfamiliar cookie or candy. He lives on unsweetened, unsalted peanut butter on sprouted wheat bread, baby carrots, and milk. There’s a small range of meat fruit veg he’ll eat and he’d probably just as soon have been ingesting nothing but milk all this time. He’s a real pain in the arse. But I don’t blame myself nor take credit these days for his sisters willingness to eat.
Then we began offering my son solid food.
Tommie says:
My daughter is four and a half years old. She’s still not completely trained. This is not due to laziness on my part, my mother’s (O’s babysitter) or my husband’s.
It is because Olivia was born with universal low muscle tone due to a deletion in her 5th chromosome (5p- syndrome). She WANTS to be able to control her bladder/bowel but sometimes, due to the weakness, she just can’t.
We try to be diligent about taking her to the bathroom on a schedule but again, it’s tough in day to day life. She’s doing really, really well these days and we celebrate this but to say that it’s “disgusting” and “lazy” when a child isn’t fully potty trained by a certain age is judgemental and wrong. There really are extenuating circumstances that you just might not know about.
Stephanie says:
In RARE cases you might be right, but in MOST cases it is due to laziness. It is the job of the parent to TEACH their child and if you wait for your child to be READY for everything then you are doing an injustice for your child. When it is time for school, do you not enroll them because they do not want to go? No, you bring them there, kicking and screaming, crying your way back to the car alone feeling terrible. But at the end of the day, when you pick them up and they have made a ton of friends, or learned a new song, etc, you realize that you have not done them psychological damage making them do what they don’t necessarily want to do yet. Call me judgemental all you want, I simply disagree with seeing kids ordering their parents to get them a diaper so they can go make poop in the corner, then come and tell that parent, “Im done, change me now”.
Tommie says:
Fair enough. I just wanted to point out one of those ‘rare cases.’ My older, typical daughter trained pretty much like everyone else described, between two and three years old.
And yes, if a child is self-aware enough to be able to ‘order’ his parents to get him a diaper to poop in, he’s old enough and self aware enough to sit on the toilet and do his business.
Monica says:
Stephanie I tend to agree with you. I work in a Peds office. Naturally we wouldn’t scoff at a child with a physiological problem that interfered with potty training. However for those children who do not have any physiological issues and are still pooping in a diaper at 3+ and are asking to have their diaper changed it’s a whole other ball game. It becomes a control issue on the child’s part, and the parent is the one who needs to have control.
Karen says:
My oldest dd trained for pee in 2 days but refused to go poop on the toilet. As soon as I put a diaper on her for sleep, she would poop. So, I stopped putting her in a nighttime diaper and she would cry and beg for a diaper in the evening to poop. I gave in for about a month and then one night we were at my in-laws and had no diapers with us. She was crying and doing the jig because she had to go so bad so my hubby picked her up and put her on the toilet and the poop fell right out(tmi!!! sorry) She looked at me and said “oh wow, that didn’t hurt at all.” She was completely trained from that day on. My other 2 trained in about a week because I waited until they were ready(about 2 1/2)
Shaynee says:
My son is 3 1/2 and is still not toilet trained. I will confess to not pushing it because he (here comes the tmi) poops four or five times a day, and usually will not do so in the toilet. Example: sit on toilet for thirty minutes when I suspect he needs to go. Do not have success. Get up and dressed. Five minutes later, “what is that smell?” He usually doesn’t even notice when he has gone, and he doesn’t care about a messy backside. I hate cleaning out poop-filled underwear, so I have not gone cold turkey on the diapers. He is not trying to be willful. He just does not care.
Gina says:
The nephew sounds like an animal
Jackie says:
I started to introduce her around 18 months… just the concept of the toilet and flushing & all that. Slowly she started to become interested. I learned the hard way……….. they will learn when THEY are ready. She was able to use the toilet since she was two but she didn’t stop wearing those pull-ups during the night until she was 3.
Tiffany says:
My little ones started sitting on the potty every day around Annie’s age. My son was potty trained a month after his second birthday and my daughter a month before. I talked to them the week before we were taking the diapers away, tried to make it sound exciting and stuck to it. My son was a little more resistant so a sticker cart worked great for him. I found after one very messy week they were pretty much potty trained. good luck!
Holly says:
My children were just past 2 when thy were potty trained. Both of them decided on their own and I just followed through. I take care of an 18 month old girl who has been fully potty trained since she was 15 months old. The key with her? She started going behind the couch to poop. Sound familiar? One day I said, “Hey! If you know you like privacy, I know you can do it on the potty.”. And she did. She pooped on the potty and sometimes peed for about three weeks. After that, it was undies and we haven’t looked back.
Also, we just started on the big potty. And haven’t ever needed a potty seat or chair. (just something more for me to clean-if I can avoid it, I will.)
Meghan says:
Honestly, training at 15, 18 months is awesome but totally rare. Everyone will say, “it worked for me, so it MUST work for you too!” Not the case. Follow Annie’s cues and it’ll be much easier. It took me TWO YEARS to train my oldest because, 1. I sucked at it, and 2. she wasnt ready. Lesson learned, it took two weeks to train my middle. I just waited until SHE wanted to do it, and that was that. Granted diapers get signifcantly grosser as they age, but we saved the massive power struggle I had with the first. If Annie is psyched about it, go for it, but if she resists, dont feel bad about waiting. She’ll be using the potty by kindergarten. Promise!
Eileen says:
Buy this: http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/0671693808/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1311593209&sr=8-1
I potty trained three year old twins in- no lie- one day with this. I was ready to drink at the end of said day, but it was a day well spent.
Lori says:
I LOVE Toilet Training in Less Than A Day. I just finished training my son in 6 hours. He had some accidents the 2nd day while learning the timing of getting to the toilet in time, but hasn’t had one since then. It is an intense day but it is very well worth it. They go to the potty totally on their own without reminders after one day- it’s awesome!! My oldest son is particularly stubborn and this method took a day and a half for him, but it was still very worth it. The book also has some readiness tests to tell if your child is ready.
Lori says:
Oh- and thought I should mention that I waited until my boys ready and wanted to try the potty. 3yrs for oldest and 3 and a half yrs for my 2nd.
Barbara HIll says:
My 3 year old daughter started following us to the bathroom around 18 months. After that we bought a potty seat and let her sit on it when she wanted, as well as ‘wipe’ and flush. Once she turned 2, panties were a big motivation, but she wasn’t completely potty trained until she was about 2 1/2.
Kim says:
My twin girls are 2 and a half and I just started potty training them. One is doing pretty well but will not poop on the potty. The other one wants nothing to do with it so she’s in diapers for now. I’d wait until you know she’s ready. Otherwise, it’s a battle!
MissyK says:
Ughh…I tried for what seemed like ages to potty train my oldest (now 22) son. I think I started half heartedly trying when he was about 18 mths or two yrs. He just had no interest at all. Then he spent a couple days with granny for a visit. Boom…two days she had him trained. No accidents, ever. NO IDEA what sorcery she used! Yeah I know…that gives you no help at all. Unless you want to see if your mom has the same Granny Sorcery. LOL!
My youngest (now 19) I honestly think my oldest trained him. I swear…he was so all about the “I can do anything big brother does but better” that I swear he just followed what big brother was doing. I guess he was about 2 then. But also during that time my mom was babysitting them for a couple hours a week so she may have whipped out that Granny Sorcery again so she didn’t have to deal with diapers while they were there. LOL!!!
Shannon says:
As everyone has already said, it varies tremendously according to the child. However, I have a friend with a daughter, and she found herself in the exact situation you are in, Heather. The doctor told her at the child’s 18-month appointment that it was time to start potty-training. The friend took this as a sign that her child was some kind of genius and _of course_ her kid would be potty-trained at 18 months. She planned to do a one-day “potty party” on a Monday, and I overheard her telling her mother-in-law the day before, “Look, I’m potty-training Emma tomorrow, so when you watch her on Thursday, she’ll be in underwear.”
Okay, I hate to say it, but you’re sort of just rooting for somebody that smug to fail. But of course when the friend called me on Monday afternoon in tears because the potty party had been a horrific failure, I was supportive. It took the girl another year to potty train. Now, as I said, you can’t really take any lessons from any other parent because every kid is different, but I do think doctors are too pushy about potty-training.
P.S. I have one son, potty trained at a little over 3, is now 4 1/2 and still soaking diapers at night. When will it end?
Porscha Is says:
My daughter was doing all her pees and poops on the toilet or potty at 23 months (with the exception of nap- and bedtime). We were really lucky in that she was ready for it… her daycare thought she was showing signs of being ready, and suggested that we put her in panties during the day, and since then, she’s been peeing like a big girl. I never would have known she was ready at that point, and I wasn’t in a rush to train her because I didn’t want to become a slave to the toilet, but it worked out really well. At that age, she was able to put on and take off her clothes and communicate to me that she had to go and if she pooped that she needed to be wiped (she wiped herself for pees).
I can’t believe that pamphlet says it will take three months to train your child. That’s crazy. I say if you watch for her signs, it will certainly tell you when it’s an ideal time to train her. The fact that you know she’s pooping when she goes behind the couch makes starting with poops a way to get success right away… get her to the potty asap and clap and dance and praise her when she’s had success on the potty. Good luck
Linda Campbell says:
My son is almost 3 and 1/2, we have tried, hard. He pooped once on the potty, and peed when he felt like it. Everyone was getting very frustrated, so we have just given up for now. That’s what we were told to do.
I don’t know when we should start again, I’m hoping he’ll let me know when he’s ready.
I know girls are quicker than boys, but 18 months seems pretty young!!
bethany actually says:
Some kids are ready at 18 months, but I think for most kids when you “train” them that early, it’s really the parents who are training themselves to ask every five minutes, “Do you have to go potty? Let’s go sit on the potty.” With my older daughter we started talking to her during diaper changes around 18mos about how pretty soon she’d be going potty on the toilet just like mom and dad and her older cousins. Around 2 we started offering her the choice to sit on the potty before bathtime/naps if she wanted, but no pressure. Three months before her third birthday she said she was done with diapers and wanted to wear panties. It took about a week of us reminding her every couple of hours and a couple of minor accidents and she was potty-trained.
Colleen says:
The book is right about one thing, start talking about it all now. When they are ready, they will go potty. 18 months is really early. It shouldn’t take 3 months! My son was ready at 3 and all it took was underpants and he was good to go. My daughter did it at 2 1/2, she had a few accidents, but was trained witihin a week. Just wait until she shows interest.
Marsha says:
2 1/2 for Courtney and 3 for my boys. I didnt even consider trying any of them until they were already 2 years old. I also didn’t push the issue because it just hinders the whole process for toddlers.
heather says:
I read this post to fiance B… who laughed hard enough he had to excuse himself to pee.
I high fived him even though there was no poop
christina says:
My first child was day and night trained at 18 months, BUT he doesn’t like to be dirty so I think that was a BIG motivator for him. My 2nd son took until almost age 4. 3rd son was about 4 as well. Last child our daughter was trained around age 2.
As you can see even training from the same parents can have a huge range in child readiness, LOL
Chris says:
My daughter started asking for a little potty to sit on when she was 2. She would poop on it, but was not fully trained until she was 3 years and almost 1 month old. When I brought her little brother home from the hospital, my MIL told me she was trained (and she was).
My son was more difficult and we had many false starts before he finally trained between 3 1/2 and 4. He is just now 5 and still has accidents because he waits too long and is not dry overnight.
My kids are heavy sleepers though and take a long time to be dry overnight.
Michelle says:
Our daughter was 3 or 3 1/2 before we started toilet training. And she was trained in a matter of days. She just decided, and it was easy. She was not in day care, so we didn’t have the pressure from day care to get her trained by age 3 so she could move to the next room. The good thing about waiting so long was that she had hardly any accidents, and she stayed dry through the night. The bad thing was buying diapers for three years. But we also didn’t have to spend months training her.
Mom again says:
Yes buying diapers for older toddlers who are also big and tall, like my son, and Annie is troublesome. We eventually went to pull ups because diapers didn’t fit and Target was always sold out of his size cloth training pants. Eventually I bought a dozen heavy cotton training pants plus old fashioned rubber pants for away from home, online.
Sara says:
My daughter will be three in November and we just started. Went cold turkey from diapers to panties. It’s a lot better than I expected, but she still has accidents. I didn’t see any reason to push her any earlier, and waited until she seemed ready. Good Luck whenever you do try to take this on!
Robin says:
I started introducing the potty to my daughter when she was 18 months. Nothing consistent as she wasn’t ready. I was told that when her diaper remained dry for several hours, her bladder was developed enough to start training. Around 22 months that happened, her diaper would remain dry for 2-3 hours. She had also had several months of “potty exposure” so she knew what to do. I bought cotton panties and put them on her. The first day I took her to the bathroom every hour. She only had one accident and she HATED having pee run down her leg. As I changed her I told her that if she to the potty before she peed, it wouldn’t run down her leg. The next day I just asked her every hour if she had to go. She again had one accident and was unhappy with the result. The third day, I didn’t ask her, she started telling me! She is now 3yrs old and has had about 5 pee accidents since training and is out of diapers at night. Poop took a bit longer because we are dealing with constipation issues, that took about a month for her to understand and we did the dumping poo in the potty technique.
Nicole says:
The Poptart is two and is just about potty trained. We think. She makes it 90% of the time to the toilet. Except when she has a case of the twos and decides to shriek about it. She’s dry when she wakes up most of the time and seems to have a bladder of steel and will go HOURS without peeing.
The “experts” say there’s a window between 9 and 18 months that’s ideal to potty train because otherwise they become stubborn and teenage like and won’t. I don’t know. But I know I haven’t seen any teenagers wearing diapers. Or they don’t say anything if they are.
Anyways, according to my mother, I was potty trained by 8 months. This? Is really my only claim to fame.
Kim Q says:
Holy heck, laughing my diaper off over here!
We dabbled with potty training starting at 18 months, quickly abandoned all efforts, and tried again at 2 years. At 2 years, Zoe was more open to the idea, but still not at the point where I would say she was “ready.” So we abandoned efforts again. Three months later and all seemed to be a go. We tried again, and at that stage she moved to tiny underwear and had a grand total of 2 accidents EVER (she is 5 now).
I expect that since we had an easy time with Zoe, we will have the opposite with her 9 month old sister. :o)
Neeroc says:
V started being dry through the night at about 9 months, so we’d make a game of getting to the bathroom in the morning and putting her on the potty. She was out of diapers by the time she was 2, but with very little ‘training’ or effort on our part. Once she started having dry diapers for longer and longer periods we’d just start taking her to the bathroom on a schedule (every 1/2hr, then every hour) and then she was done. But I think the key was that she was ready. There was no fight or fear or drama, and she’d been used to using the bathroom for a long period of time before we transitioned.
We used cloth diapers, so the other thing we did is we’d start putting her underwear over her diapers so it was like she was wearing undies, then rather that pullups or cloth trainers, we’d just put a doubler in her undie and call it a ‘bum lite’ (we called diapers bums…I have no idea why)
And I agree with one of the previous commenters about how great it was not to have to wipe poop out of a diaper and off her bum for the longest time. Poopy diapers make me hurl.
Jaclyn says:
We tried training M around 2 and she sort of picked it up, but not really. So around 26 months we started putting her in big-girl underwear about once a week. We told her if she could keep them dry all day we would take her for ice cream. Each time, within 30 minutes, the underwear (and the carpet) would be soaking wet. She would respond “Oh well, no ice cream for me!”. We repeated this process once a week for a couple of months and one day she kept them dry! On her own! She was fully trained with minimal effort from us, and minimal power struggles! Easiest process ever! I think waiting until they are ready is the biggest key! Our next daughter is already 26 months old and has never gone in the potty once. We are pretty sure she will be going to college in a diaper. Oh well, it will be her roommates problem at that point!
Lora says:
Ha! Funny post. My daughter (second child) started potty training without any encouragement from me at a little over 2 years old. It did take about 3 months until she stopped occasionally wetting herself. The thing is, I didn’t really do anything. I just responded if she said she needed to pee/poop. She led the whole thing. It was pretty easy. My son on the other hand…
Heather says:
A family friend once told me that her twin boys were potty trained in a day. When asked how she did it she said that she went away for the day and when she came back they were potty trained. Her husband took the boys into the bathroom and they all peed together. For some reason I find that hilarious. All of my siblings (with the exception of my youngest brother) were all potty trained by the time we turned two (my mother is a very determined woman and she would reward us with m&ms) With my littlest brother, the pediatrician said to wait until he was three to start potty training because boys were at a higher risk for urinary tract infections if they were trained younger. I don’t know how true that is but good luck with Annie!
Susan says:
Hahaha…this whole discussion makes me laugh. My boys are adults now (I was a young new mom though ;)) and this is so not rocket science. When I was in the throws of potty training, I read nothing and listened to only a few. Key is “ready” (meaning both parent and child not just parent) and consistency. Once you start, keep it up. All my boys were potty trained by 2.5. It wasn’t easy but considering what you will be going through as teenagers, piece of cake!! I say that laughingly.
AmazingGreis says:
I like it when people praise me for pooping too!
Jennifer says:
My daughter was easy to train, we started around 2, and she was potty trained for the day within a month. The big thing for her is she wanted to be a “big girl” so we used the whole “Big girls use the potty, babies wear diapers” and she gave up diapers pretty quickly.
My son on the other hand just didn’t care aboit going potty. Peeing waa pretty easy, but he has bowel issues, so pooping was another few months (he’s 5.5). We’re STILL working on night time.
Good luck!
Lisa says:
I started potty training Maya when she was just shy of 2 and a half. She was old enough to get what I was saying and was definitely showing signs of being interested. It took a few weeks to get from accidents and pull ups to big girl underwear and pretty much accident free. My word of advice when you do decide to get started is to not use pull ups, go straight to the gerber padded underwear. Maya just thought pull ups were diapers so she treated them like diapers. It wasn’t until we used the padded underwear (they contain accidents pretty well), that she got the hint and really started trying to use the potty.
Oh, and we did buy a potty chair when she turned two and just left it in the bathroom and let her sit on it and get used to it before we started the actual potty training. It seemed to help.
AnnD says:
I think parents wear this like a badge of honor. It’s ridiculous. “Susie was totally potty trained when she was 16 months old.”
What she fails to mention that it was a totally hellish experience for them both and how many messes she had to clean up to get there.
I have had some people tell me: “Start on Friday night, leave them in their underwear and they’ll be potty trained by Sunday night….”
Um, I’m not willing to ruin my carpet to have a potty trained child.
My daughter began seriously potty training at 3 years old. I went by HER cues and not MY need to make myself feel superior to my friends. When she was about 18 months old, I would re-introduce her potty pants and the potty and see how she did every few months. Up until she was 3, she resisted and ran screaming from the potty.
I am doing the same with my son now (who is 20 months old) and he loves his undies but, again, doesn’t like sitting on the potty so much.
Mandy says:
My oldest boy was potty trained right after 2 years. Our only set back was in public, an automatic flushing urinal scared the life out of him. For MONTHS we couldn’t keep him accident free in public.
My baby is 23 months (today) and we’ve been training for three weeks. I’d sat he is 95% day trained. We will wait a little longer for night training
Lora says:
My daughter didn’t potty train forever. I think she was 3.5 before she finally GOT it. She also used to potty chair for a million years before finally taking on the real potty, but she is super short and I think the main issue was being able to get ON the toilet safely.
Anyways, good luck! I personally think 18 months is too early unless your kid seems to hate being in a dirty diaper and might train really easily. Otherwise I think you are just inviting a power struggle upon yourself!
Melissa says:
I tried it at 18 months but my daughter wasn’t really into it. She was ready at 2. I suggest just leaving the bathroom door open when you go and if she doesn’t follow you in then she’s not ready. Once she gets curious as to what happens in that room then she’s ready.
suzanne says:
We got out the potty chair at around 20 months, and she peed in it sporadically. She was trained within a few months after her second birthday, which was on the early side.
I credit two people: her daycare teacher and her pediatrician. At her two year check-up, her pediatrician took her aside and said in a very serious manner, “You are getting to be a very big girl now. You can do a lot of things for yourself. You are so big that you are ready to make pee pee and poopy in the potty.” That day, she asked to use the potty. Her teacher, who interestingly enough, used the same message of being ready to use the potty because she was such a big girl, had her in cotton underwear within a month. Over the next month she started staying dry overnight. We had a small regression that lasted about a week.
For whatever reason, the positive reinforcement /big girl message really worked with my kid, but I also saw other kids who just did not want to do it, and were really strong-willed in their resistance. I think it all depends on the child’s personality.
suzanne says:
Forgot to add — we did have resistance in the mornings with the obligatory pre-day care pee. For some reason, she never wanted, and still does not like, to take that first pee. M&Ms turned out to be the perfect motivator.
Ragan says:
I have three daughters and potty trained them all the exact same way. First, I waited until they were at least 2 and ready. I never used pull-ups except at night. I took them all out to buy “big girl panties” (the training undies which are cotton but are a bit thicker) and we sewed bows on the front so they knew which what to put them on and I bought the plastic covers. I told them that if they peed in their big girl panties they had to clean it up (mean I know). My oldest Rainey was 2.2 years old and she trained in one day! She had one accident while on the computer playing a game and I gave her a bucket and had her clean the chair and put her panties in the laundry. She seemed to like this so I was worried but she made it to the bathroom every other time. Crazy! Kt was 2 years 6 months and took about 3 days. She hated the wet feeling in her undies so she was quick to make it to the potty. I honestly don’t remember how old Ella was but I am assuming it was over 2 1/2 since she didn’t start walking til then and I fell down the stairs with her during potty training and crushed 3 bones in her foot. The cast was not great for potty training and after the 2nd time of me taking her to the ortho to have the “wet” cast changed they told me to hold off on the training So she took a little longer. Honestly, don’t start too early or it will take a LONG time! I had friends that started at 9 months by holding their child over the toilet! CRAZY!!! and…my kids were trained before them. Just make it fun and make her excited about it! Also, I had a container of Mike and Ikes behind the toilet that they got to take one out when they made it o the potty.
Have fun!!!
Cassondra says:
My first child, a son, was completely potty trained at 18 months. My second, another boy, potty trained by just over 2 years old. My third child, a girl, was completely potty trained by 2 years and about 3 months. But potty training is something that we really focused on when the kids hit one year old. I started putting them on the potty after nap time, after meals, and moved on from there.
Katie says:
Our motto: “Front to backie, wipe my crackie.” They’ll never forget after that. After torturing myself for years with my son, I adopted the “she’ll do it when she’s ready” plan with my daughter. She was completely trained by 3 y. 3 mo., beating her brother’s hard-earned record by a full six months. I declare it a success!!!
Amy W says:
Your motto made me LOL!! Love it!!!
marcia says:
I am in the “burn that pamphlet” camp, LOL!! My MIL kept after us about training our oldest when he hit about 18 mos. I asked our pediatrician about it & he told us that we “could” start that early, but it would likely backfire. He was a firm believer in watching for the cues from the child (as they are all different). With his advice, we had an “open door” policy when we went to the bathroom. We would say “mama (or daddy) has to pee so I am going to the bathroom” and would let him follow if he wanted. We would also dispose of the diapers in the bathroom & tell him that’s where the ‘pee & poop’ goes. He gradually showed more & more interest and was trained right around 26 months. My youngest two were slightly different — they are b/g twins and my daughter was ‘day-trained’ by 20 mos & day/night by her 2nd birthday. Her twin brother, however, didn’t train until close to 2 1/2. (all my neices/nephews were also between 2 & 3 when trained)My advice would be to go with the flow (no pun intended!) and follow your instincts. You know Annie best & will be able to pick up on her cues. You’re doing great!!
Rachel says:
I have a 14 yo girl & 11 yo boy, so it’s been a while since we’ve been in the potty stage, but I know that training wasn’t a big stressor in our house. Both kids were out of diapers before age 2 during the day, and age 3 at night. We have video of our daughter dancing and cheering because she went on the potty. In the video she is wearing a cast on her leg. She broke her leg when she was 18 months old & only had the cast on for a few weeks, so we must have started around that time. With both kids, I put a potty chair in the bathroom & we talked about the process, read the book “Once upon a potty” a few times, and the kids let us know when they were ready. I figured since training our daughter was easy, our son would be difficult, and wouldn’t be ready until much later. I brought the potty chair into the bathroom when he was 20 months or so, and he saw it & showed interest right away. I was surprised, but happy. I think the key is not to stress out about it. Good luck. =)
Lori C. says:
My girls were early to use the potty, all three of them were trained by the time they were 2…BUT, they all had an allergy to their own urine, so if they sat in a wet diaper for more than about 5 minutes, they would end up with a raging case of diaper rash, with a dash of yeast infection for good measure…NOT comfortable, obviously.
So they were basically naked babies, and I couldn’t have them just peeing on the floor…much less pooping…I just told them “okay, if you are gonna be nakie, then you have to use the potty to poop and pee in” & they were pretty much good to go. (it should be noted that my siblings and I were all trained really early also, so maybe the kids in our family are just ready earlier than others…)
Audra says:
My oldest daughter was completely trained at a little over two years, but we started when she was about 18 months old. The impetus for starting was that she pooped in the bathtub…twice in one week. I would rather MOVE TO A DIFFERENT HOUSE than clean up poop in the bathtub. So we decided that we would put her on the potty before her bath each night and it worked Here’s a tip that may have been mentioned in the previous 54 comments but I didn’t read them: skip the little potty. Seriously, the “transfer” as your pamphlet calls it, is disgusting and you don’t want to put yourself through that. Plus, my younger daughter got really attached to the little potty that my parents have for her at their house and sometimes with them she still insists on using it. I’ve told them and told them to just get rid of it and not give her a choice, but apparently they LIKE HAVING SOMEONE POOP IN THEIR KITCHEN. Just buy a little seat that goes over the seat on the big potty and you’re good to go. The main thing is just that kids don’t get scared that they’re going to fall in. I was feeling PRETTY DARN SMUG when my older daughter was potty trained at 2, but then her sister totally TOOK ME DOWN by waiting until she was 3 to be potty trained.
Sherri says:
Heather–I have a home daycare, and of the more than 90 kids Ihave cared for over the years, only *2* of them were completely trained by the age of 2. All others were between 2 1/2 and 3. Just saying.
Also–can I tell you a funny? My oldest was fine peeing on the potty, but pooping on the potty scared the …well, the crap out of her! Anyway, her sister is 19 months younger than she is…so when she needed to poop, she would get one of sister’s diapers, go to her room, take off her undies, PUT ON THE DIAPER, poop in it, take it off, shove it under her bed, put her undies back on and go about life as if nothing had happened. Then, I would go to her room for something and OH MOTHER OF GOD!! The stench! ACKK! I would have to fish out the diaper and dispose of it. Sometimes it was under the bed, sometimes under the dresser, and once in a while in the closet…
Sigh.
She wasn’t toally trained til almost 4. Pee-wise we were done at 2 1/2. Poop was a scary and long proposition!!
PBPDesigns says:
Not much to add since all these other moms have pretty much covered it, however, now that Annie is interested in flushing the toilet, you need to be super vigilant about her potentially flushing other things down the toilet. My sister flushed something once that required 2 plumbers and over $350 to remove.
Good luck!
JMH says:
Both of my kids were 3 when they were totally potty trained. With my second child (a boy) we didn’t even officially start until he was 3….but we built it up for about 6 months before his birthday. “When you turn 3, you will be a big boy and no more diapers!” He was completly trained (night too) in 2 weeks. We started my daughter waaay too early and it took over a year. I would recommend waiting
amourningmom says:
Both twins were not fully potty trained till they were 3 – but they still wear pull ups at night. My mother-in-law used to always tell me not to worry because they won’t go to college in diapers (hopefully they won’t get any ideas from Lisa Nowak – the astronaut lady who wore diapers on her frive). Good luck!
Glam-O-Mommy says:
I say WAIT. Don’t start too early. We’ve been at it for over a year and I am beside myself. Potty training is the bane of my existence!! My friend, a mother of four, swears if you wait longer to start, the whole process goes faster. I wish I had listened to her! I recently wrote about my daughter’s potty issues on my blog here: http://glam-o-mommy.blogspot.com/2011/06/potty-progress.html
Megan says:
YOU ARE SO. FUNNY. I laughed so hard at this someone almost had to give ME a high five, if I ain’t being too subtle.
Re: pleasant diaper experience, I recommend candlelight, Michael Bolton playing softly in the background, and a cheese and wine sampler within her reach.
Sara says:
Heather – this post made me laugh out loud – you are too funny!
I think you wait until you feel she’s ready. I have friends who started early with their girls and were dealing with accidents for months. I waited until my son was 3+ and really ready, and it was so quick. Don’t let anyone pressure you – I think you’ll know when she’s starting to be ready.
Also – try just having the potty in the bathroom and see if she wants to sit on it – I liked the Baby Bjorn one – very easy to clean!
momof2 says:
Every child is so completely different. Have to say dedication of parent is important, but clearly not all there is to it.
Tried toilet training with both my kids at 18 months. Didn’t work. Had to try again after 2. With my son it took a month. Took six months with my daughter. But they were both fully toilet trained by 2 1/2. Great not to have to buy diapers anymore. But a little of your freedom is gone too. You won’t be able to take kids on long trips without making sure there will be a toilet for them to use. And you’ll have to use whatever you find, even if it’s disgusting, because little ones can’t wait until you find another! And there will be the occasional accident for which you won’t be prepared, b/c by god they’re supposed to be toilet trained already. It’s never easy…
Sharyn says:
Instead of a potty chair, I used one of those deluxe, padded seats that clips on to the toilet seat and can, should you desire it, be placed in the dishwasher. There’s nothing to empty. We also had a foldable potty seat for away from home.
One piece of advice that is crucial: consider placing her backwards on the grown-up potty whenever you’re not using a clip on potty seat. For one thing, there’s less chance of a mess. Another thing is that, with her legs splayed open to straddle the seat (TMI?) it is virtually impossible for her to fold in half and fall in, and makes her feel more secure.
Rachel says:
I have 2 boys and a girl.
My boys were 3 1/2 and 3 1/4 when they learned. Since we both work it was harder to coordinate our methods with that of day care so we waited until we had a week off, and spent every day reminding and asking them to try and trying to let them go diaper-free. Lots of congrats when they went in the bowl. At the end of that week, each of them was 95% trained.
My daughter took even longer. For some reason she was afraid to poop in the bowl and starting holding it in. For days. Then when she finally couldn’t hold it any more she would pass a tennis ball sized poop. not kidding. She was 3 yrs and 7 months before she was completely trained.
It seems that there is a window of opportunity around 18-24 months but if you miss it (or don’t use it effectively) it seems they lose interest until they are at least 3.
Jana says:
I have 5 kids and after my first 2 I learned that there are other things to worry about then making sure they are potty trained at a certain age. All my kids were trained by 3, but for my own sanity I waited till at least 2 1/2 to even start and If I approached it and if they acted interested we pushed forward, if not I left it for another month. I never pushed the issue till they were 3.
I have 3 girls and all 3 were trained with in 3 days, I just striped them naked and let them run around like that and they figured it out pretty much right away. My boy’s on the other hand are a different story, they both took a tad longer, but I found the letting them be naked was the best and fastest system with all of them, as long as you don’t mind cleaning up a little poopy or pee off the floor for a few days.
But I agree with the earlier comment, get rid of the potty instruction book! And don’t rush it, honestly for your own sanity I would wait till you think she is ready, you will know the signs…she won’t go to school in diapers right??
And anyone who has a 18 month old trained always impresses me, they must have been determaind and willing to put in the time to get it done, or has a genius for a child because it is way more work at that age…So long story short, I would just wait till she is older you will save yourself alot of frustration.
I will end my novel now. Good luck!
Amy says:
We are in the process right now – we started when she was 18 months, but were very casual about it. I think had we been a little more serious and disciplined she would have been done by now. Shes 22 months now and is pretty much trained at home, she doesn’t wear a diaper at home all day except for nap time and uses the potty without being prompted (not to say there arent accidents, but really, how could I expect no accidents?). Our problem is when do we start leaving the house without one on??? Her carseat cover isn’t machine washable (damn you Britax and your #1 safety rating!!!) so I HATE the thought of an accident in her seat… then what?? And I feel like I would probably faint if she peed on the floor (cuz it totally leaks through her panties and pants into a puddle on the floor) of the coffee shop or something.
We started out by letting her be naked, and I think it totally helped… plus, its summer so she can be outisde in the yard in nothing but a dress and if she pees on the grass, no big deal. Although I did have to clean a poop off the floor of the deck and well, you know whats it like, its just gross.
good luck. My only (very humble) words of wisdom would be to try not to get too stressed about it. Every kid is eventually trained (I think) and it would be crazy to think it happens over night. Patience, my friend. And lots of it! Good luck!
Carrie says:
My 2.5 year old has been in underwear only since he was 26 months old. We still have accidents, but I figure that since we use cloth, cleaning pants and underwear is just like cleaning diapers and he gets it more when he pees or poops his pants (it doesn’t happen very often anymore). But (and this is why I’m commenting) last week we were at Starbucks and he peed a river on the floor and a little kid walking by pointed and said, “LOOK Mommy!” and was horrified and his mom said, “I think I saw a rainbow!” I was mortified, but everyone around us was really nice about it.
Bummer on your car seat. Can you put a towel down or something?
Mom again says:
Good old fashioned rubber pants are what you need. Also, is she in cute, single layer panties, or training pants. Training pants and a plastic cover should be enough to save the britax and the cafe floor
Elle says:
Where did you get Annie’s super cute t-shirt?
Constance Reader says:
Yes! I need one for my own Annie!
dawn says:
My oldest son was four before he was completely potty trained. He was “resistant” and would only poop in the potty, not pee. So, one day I freaked the f**k out after he yelled at me to “change his pull-up so he could pee” in the post office. I went home and threw out every single pull-up and diaper product in the house. He wore underwear and went consistently with no accidents, even at night. Son numbertwo is three and potty trained himself six months ago while hanging out in the bathroom while his brother went pee. I. Kid. You. Not. He went straight to underwear and wears the pull-ups at night. Baby number three will be here in March and I’m just going to let number two teach him.
Lori says:
I have 2 girls, 10 years/7 years old. The best advice I can give is DO NOT stress over potty training! I learned this from my first child (in addition to a discussion with her preschool teacher); and it made potty training the second child much easier. Bottom line, children will do it when they are ready. You can introduce the words and the concepts, but if you stress out, it will become a power struggle. There is a short video called “Once Upon A Potty” my daughters liked to watch that seemed to help spark interest on their part, (there is a girl and boy version). They started watching it around 18 months. It has a catchy song, that will drive you crazy – and my husband and I laughed at the video; but I think it helped. My younger one was also motivated by a sticker chart Charmin offered, but you can create your own. Basically she got to put a sticker on depending on pee or poop; and there were also columns for wiping; flushing and washing your hands. My oldest was fully potty trained at around 3 years and the younger one was 2 years. Good Luck!
Karly says:
With my first, a girl, I started at around 18 months – a disaster. She was not trained until she was almost 3. Wanting to avoid the whole fiasco again, with my son I waited until he was almost 3 and it honestly only took 2 days to train him and only 3 accidents. It disgusted him to be wet and soiled so he always ran to the toilet. I skipped using a potty chair – could not bring myself to empty it out! Used a padded insert that fit onto the regular toilet seat. Both kids loved the flushing! Sounds like that won’t be a problem for Annie.
My sister-in-law trained all 3 of her children by age 2. She would make them sit on the potty chair for hours on end watching movies. Not my idea of the ideal way to train, but it worked!
Good luck!
Betty S says:
Burn that pamplet! Annie is YOUR daughter and you and Mike know what’s best for her. At this point, you would not be training her, but training yourself to run her to the bathroom every ten minutes. I have three children, and of the three, only one of them was trained before two. And that was her doing. She saw older children using the potty and decided she could too. My son seemed to have no desire to go a day without peeing on himself until he was 4, although, he was in underwear by three. The youngest was about two when she started showing interest. Again, it was her watching the older children do it. Going to the bathroom is natural. You don’t need a book to tell you how to do something you have done since you were born. If a child doesn’t take to it quickly, it’s because they are not mature enough for what you are pushing on them to do yet. Give them time, and they will be eventually. Do what feels right for you, Mike and Annie and don’t worry about what society thinks!
Leslie says:
I let her sit on the potty for fun around 2 but was in no rush, I only have one. At 2 1/2 I started and it took a day since she was ready. We got the fisher price singing potty….made her really want to use it!!!!
Everyone I know who started at 2 finished at 3. Those I know who did 2 1/2 it was fast. 18 months seems a bit early to me!
VHMPrincess says:
Jess potty trained at 2 years 5 mos. She was harder to train than the boys, but that’s not saying much (they trained themselves at 2 years and 6 mos).
I think less than 2 years is too early, it’s just going to be frustrating for both of you. Jess took longer, but I think that was because she was the 3rd child, meaning I couldn’t just put her in underwear and let the messes happen as we had to be out and about all the time w/the older 2 kids’ activities. When I finally sucked it up and left her in underwear full time (GET THE WATERPROOF UNDERWEAR that keeps all the pee in to save messes!! TRUST ME) it took 2 days? Maybe 3 with lots fewer accidents happening each day.
Lisa says:
My daughter initiated potty training on her own when she was almost 3. We took her to Target to pick out underwear, but used no other rewards (other than praise), and it only took a week (with occasional accidents for another few months). All the moms I know recommend waiting until the child is old enough and is ready so it won’t take long and the parents won’t lose their minds.
Also, the no-drinks-before-bedtime thing is a myth. Most kids aren’t ready to make it through the night for another year or so after they are potty trained during the day, regardless of whether or not they had something to drink before bedtime.
Casey says:
I don’t think it matters when you start, they really won’t get it unless they are really ready. My kids were all fully potty trained at different times, my oldest was done a week after she turned 2, my middle at 2 and a half, and my youngest was just over 2. As long as you get it done before school, I don’t think it’s a huge worry, they don’t let kids in wearing diapers! Just be consistent when you start
Julie M. says:
I wouldn’t even think about it until she’s 2, and probably not until 2 1/2. For me, the signal was that my son could hold it for a while. Does she wake up dry from naps? Why put yourself through three months of accidents when if you just wait until her body is closer to being ready, it will be relatively easy and pain free (for both of you).
ldoo says:
Puh-lease. She’s too young. That pamphlet is full of it (literally?). My now 3-year-old did show some interest at that age, but she didn’t start actual potty training until just after 2. If you start too young, it will likely backfire.
Do not stress, and I say don’t bother looking at that pamphlet again for another 6 months.
Mom again says:
Why do all the pamphlets and books imply that the child will learn to deal with the subtleties of knowing when and how to pee first? All 3 of mine figured out the much more obvious cues and activity of poo long before figuring out how their pants got wet and that they could do something about that.
My 4 year old son was disinterested in all potty training efforts. We put off beginning until after moving back to the states as I had no interest in traveling alone on a 36 hour door to door trip including forever on a plane with a kid in potty transition. So we began a week or so later. Wed push it a week or so, then step back. At 3 1/2 he suddenly cared and at that point it took a week. And since then we’ve had 4 accidents of grown ups forgetting to take his bladder size into consideration when making plans.
Years ago, with my girls, the elder was easily convinced by age 3 to join the grown ups vs still using a diaper like her baby sister. Family members on her dads side were dismayed at her not being trained before 18 months, or before her sister was born 10 months later. Yes I did get bored spending all my time putting food in one end of them and cleaning it off the other. But by 3 she’d noticed the baby and adult options and chose not baby. I was similarly laissez faire with her sister. But dad and stepmom on a six week summer visit evidently made her miserable over it at 18 months. She returned home a constipated nervous wreck. It’s been two decades. I still don’t want to talk about it.
So, IMO, they are ready when they are ready. Pushing to hard will only create something they have to push back on. And I bet Annie can push back pretty hard.
Mom again says:
We first began suggesting and offering the potty when he was two, about a month after our move. After dad and the furniture arrived and the grandparents had left. We’d try for a few days, then leave it be for a week or two. I think the adult sister ( the one forcibly trained at her dads house) was the most bothered. She was all about the candy rewards and I had to make her stop because he was beginning to go in the bathroom and undress and expect an m&m for his trouble. then oh the tears when I wouldn’t pay up! It was worth a try but seemed to create more problems than it solved.
Erin W says:
I have an 8-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy. Both were potty trained completely by their 3rd birthdays. I think this is reasonable to expect. I didn’t have a hard time with either one of them because I waited until they were ready…and yes, by 2 1/2 I had all the freaks saying ‘why isn’t she/he potty trained yet?’. Just ignore. It’s better to potty train ONCE when they’re ready than MULTIPLE times when they’re not.
Kudos for using a ‘regular’ toilet. I HATE potty seats. First of all, other than the hole, they don’t look like a potty. Second, I don’t want to train a kid on a ‘potty seat’ then train again on a real toilet. When she’s ready just get the regular toilet seat adapter seat (they make fun patterns like Elmo, Dora, Spongebob) and a step stool. Save yourself some time and energy! :)))
Jen says:
I have two boys so no experience in teaching girls however, boys tend to train later and mine were trained by 2 1/2 years.
We picked a day to start and set the timer for every 30 minutes. Rolled back the carpets and had him play on the bare floor (easier to clean) and in big boy undies. (Someone told me undies for a few days equals a lot of laundry or pull ups for a year.) We also put him in sweat pants (a little more absorbent than say, khaki pants.)
Timer went off, we went to try. He got an M&M for every time he actually went in the potty and reminded him to let us know if he had to go if he had an accident. After about 2 days, we extended the time to 45 mintues. In about a week, he was good to go. (Still used diapers at night though and took them off first thing in the morning to start the day and our timer.)
It was a lot of laundry, and a pain going through it, but it was only a week. We bought several packs of undies to buy us time in between loads of laundry.
The key thing we learned between boy 1 and 2 was to skip the little potty chair. While “adorable” we found the kid seat you put on the adult toilet was far more plesant than cleaning poop out of the kid chair – something I find revolting. (There’s a word she won’t know and fits perfectly – revolting!!)
If she’s not into it/looses interest after a few hours/day or two, she’s not ready and it’s not worth pushing as she’ll fight it because it’s something she can control. 18 months seems early to me.
Good luck.
Shan says:
I have three boys and one girl. The boys were 3…and a half! My daughter was a few months past 2 years old. In my opinion..girls are much easier to potty train. I also think 18 months is a bit too young!
Kathy says:
This post was hysterical! We started our daughter around 2.3 and our son around 3.5 (autistic, so we waited). Give me the bad mother award, but we plopped their potty seat in front of a kid video a couple times a day, until they went. I’m not sure why it worked, but within a week, they were both trained. I guess they started to figure out the signs their body gave when it was time to go (?).
Heather Hansen says:
Wait until she’s absolutely ready. And she’ll give signs that she’s ready. Our daughter is almost 3 and we used the three-day potty training method. Worked like a charm. She’s totally trained, no pull ups or anything.
Rebecca says:
We have a very awesome lid on our toilet. Cuts the potty chair out totally and you don’t have to worry about her falling in
http://www.bemisseats.com/catalog/wholesale/model/7M583SLOW/
It is awesome!
Mom again says:
They had those in the UK and I wanted to buy one once eg got back to US. Nobody seemed to carry them or have heard of them and I guess that 4 hardware stores, bedbath&veyond a bathroom specialty store and our and a plumber hadn’t heard of them made me think it was pointless to look online. By the time I did, it didn’t matter anymore.
Amy K says:
My daughter is 28 months now, and we’re in the middle of potty training. Right before she turned two she started getting curious about toilets, so I bought her two books – Potty by Leslie Patricelli and an old out-of-print Sesame Street (she’s obsessed with Sesame Street) book called No More Diapers. The idea of both is that you get to pick out awesome undies once you learn to use the toilet. That’s been about all the motivation she’s needed. She still has the occasional pee accident (and wails, “Oh no, what happened to me?” which never fails to crack me up) but seems to have pooping in the toilet figured out. We haven’t bothered with nighttime training yet. I also skipped the potty chair and went straight to a Baby Bjorn trainer seat and matching stool. I wanted her to get used to the real toilet, plus the idea of emptying and cleaning a little plastic potty skeeved me out. And Hanna Andersson training unders are super expensive ($28 for three, I think), but they work really well.
Eighteen months seems early to me, unless she’s really expressing interest. I’d wait until she’s a little older and gets excited about undies.
Cheryl says:
I was so lucky, my daycare provider potty trained my son. She had a little girl in daycare who was 2 weeks older than my son and she said it is easier to train 2 at once. (she has been doing this for 20 yrs). He was totally potty trained by 2 yrs 10 months. Pee was much easier, he took a bit before he would go poop on the toilet, but she worked with him and once he started we only had to put a pull up on him at night.
cindy w says:
This pamphlet made me laugh. I don’t know anyone whose kids were potty-trained before age 2.
I started trying to potty-train Catie when she was 2. It took a year. A YEAR. She got the peeing part down pretty well, but she just would. not. poop. in the potty. She finally figured it all out when she was 3. (That’s 39 months of poopy diapers. Yes, I counted.)
Susannah says:
Our daughter was a tough one to train through the day. For some odd reason, she trained overnight quickly….go figure. Anyhow, we finally figured out that for her, the diapers kept her TOO dry and comfortable. We switched her to the thick, cotton training pants and it went quicker because she could actually feel when she was wet.
My son, other the other hand, would not poop in the toilet for love nor money. We actually ended up in the ER and the doctor was quite impressed by how much the little guy could hold. (It was verified by x-ray.)
Good luck, potty training is not for the faint of heart. And I agree with everyone who said dump (no pun intended!) the pamphlet.
Marnie * says:
First of all, Oprah *does* poop. Don’t you remember the episode, when Dr. Oz was there, and they were talking about her “S” shaped poop? I’m still tramatized by it, and now, I think you are too.
As far as my kids and potty training go, 2 1/2 is when I started. Depending on the kid, how close to their 3rd birthday before they “got it”, was different.
No matter what, potty training SUCKS. I wish you luck.
Heather says:
Have you seen these?
http://www.homedepot.ca/product/transitionsr-quiet-closetm-toilet-seat-in-white/929809
I feel totally gypped by only discovering them on my third child – now I feel obligated to share my discovery with the world!
(This isn’t the exact one we have, and we paid much less for it, but we DID get it at home depot!!)
Nicole says:
Laughed so hard when I read this post. Hilarious. My boys were fully potty trained around 2 1/2 years. It only took about 1-2 weeks for them. In my opinion, if it takes up to 3 months…they’re not ready. Although, my oldest son was pooping in the potty way before we ever really potty trianed him. Maybe around 2? It was always obvious when he was crapping his diaper…so we would grab him and set him on the toilet. That part was much easier for us than the pee part.
Meg says:
right around 2.5 years is the perfect age to potty train….if you start now it will just take 9 months and who wants to potty train for 9 months! if you wait until 2.5 years you can likely go cold turkey and she will be potty trained in one to two weeks! much better! (my advice – no pull ups – they are the same as diapers, just go straight to underwear!) I would suggest starting to talk about it now and have her use the potty if she wants to – but from everyone I know and from my experience 2.5 years seems to be the magic age! good luck. it totally does suck but when it is over it is awesome!!!!
Jenifer says:
Apparently girls are easier to potty train then boys. I sure hope so because none of my boys were potty trained before they were 3 (4 for my youngest.)
I am a potty training failure as a mother. My oldest sons were potty trained because they wanted to go to preschool. I was all, “Willy (then Michael) if you wanna go to super fun preschool with all the other cool kids you need to poop and pee on the potty.” And they were all, “Hell yea!!” OK, no son actually said Hell, but they did immediately start using the potty all on their own with no work for me. Does that actually makes me a potty training genius?
My youngest son did not buy into preschool. (BOOOOO!!!!!) His dad and I had divorced by then so I went back to work and he went to daycare. He didn’t give a rat’s patoot about preschool or daycare or potty-in. Fortunately his daycare provider was a saint and did all the frame work because he was the only one left in diapers and she had all preschool aged kids.
My sister, on the other hand, had both of her boys potty trained by 2 but they still had LOTS of accidents. Which I guess makes them not fully potty trained but the woman didn’t have to bring diapers everywhere so I call that a victory.
I have a baby girl 2 weeks younger than Annie and there is no way we are starting potty training. She doesn’t walk and the she doesn’t have the words yet. I’ve heard from trusted sources that the kid needs to be able to get themselves to the potty and I think walking will make that so much easier. As far as the words go she can get her point across so it’s not a huge deal. So if the girl shows any interest in the potty I WILL be carrying her 25+ pound butt to the potty so she can give it a shot.
Although I am no potty training expert the one thing I know about potty training is that patience is key. Another thing is that accidents happen and when you freak out so do they, and that sets you back. Keep those 2 things in mind, they are critical!
Annie is a baby genius and I’m sure as soon as she gets to flush some potty business of her own, she’ll be all in. You can do this!!!!
Suzanne says:
I have five children…four potty trained. None of them were trained before 3. Not sure if we’re just slow in that area or what. I have friends who’d claim their children were potty trained at 2, but they were always saying “do you need to potty?” or “it’s time to potty!” I am a firm believer that if you have to constantly remind your child to pee or set a timer than YOU are the one who is potty trained…not your child. If I were you I’d just relax and wait until Annie shows interest. She’s extremely bright and you’ll know when it’s time.
D. says:
My son stopped wearing diapers at 20 months. He asked for underwear (didn’t like diapers) and it was that simple. Definitely an exception to the rule. My daughter was potty-trained at 3. We didn’t try until she asked to wear underwear. I think it’s much less of a struggle when it’s the child’s decision/timing. They’ll all be potty-trained by kindergarten.
Cheryl says:
We are using a similar method for potty training our 2yr old girl. The result? Any time she poops, she yanks off her diaper and proudly caries it to us proclaiming, ” I pooooooooop.” I think we will have to try the one day method because this other one is getting to us.
crystal says:
we started with both our kids at 18 months. our girl day trained within a week but had night accidents until she was 6. our boy just turned 3, he is trained but now pees on things because he thinks its funny. joy
Patricia says:
My daughter started using the potty at 2 1/2. It took her about 1 month to be accident free (although like any kid she occasionally has an accident). The best piece of advice I received about toilet training was to wait until they are ready & don’t push them because it will just backfire on you. Good luck
On a separate note, where did you get the cute “A” t-shirt in the pictures in your post about potty training? My daughter’s name starts with “A” and I think she would love the t-shirt.
Heather says:
I got it at American Apparel! They have all the letters.
Heather says:
here they are! http://www.americanapparel.com/search.html?r=Kids&as=&s=letters
Kayt says:
My son will be three in December, so… 31 months? And I can’t even convince him to go bare butt long enough to get his ass on a toilet. He cries and howls, goes and FINDS himself a diaper (even if I’ve hidden them), and will carry it around, holding it up on himself, shouting “NONONONONONO”.
He does, however, finds wiping fascinating. I made the mistake of inviting him in the bathroom to try and generate interest, and all he wants to do is wipe me. Umm, no thanks boo, I’m a pro. I got this.
As for girls, I potty trained at three years three months. Well, according to my mother, I was physically trained around two and a half, but I refused to use the toilet until three years and three months. My little sister potty trained herself at 17 months. She had accidents a lot. I never did. So the longer Annie waits, the more ready she’ll be?
melanie says:
My daughter turned two in June. I had won a potty video (and corresponding book) and gave it to her for her birthday. We put it in, she watched that day and has been day trained since.
Most annoying video ever but does the job.
http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Movie-Girls-Hannah/dp/0764193627
Gamanda says:
What really helped us potty train was constipation. My daughter would get backed up and have hard poops. So, it was pretty obvious when she was getting ready to poop. when we saw her start bearing down, we took her to the toilet and let her finish there.
Now, on to the etc. part of the vocab: sharts. Everybody does it, we shouldn’t be ashamed. Sure, occasionally laughed at b/c who doesn’t find sharts hilarious, but we should still keep everyone aware. Always be careful if you’re not sure how your fart is going to end.
Cassie says:
I started potty training a soon as my daughter was showing me she was prepared. She started actually pulling her diaper off as soon as she peed/ pooped. Probably around age 2. I bought her the Baby Alive and committed to just making her wear underwear for 3 straight weeks except at bedtime. When she peed, I had her change herself. She got really tired of it and by the end of the 3 weeks, she was trained!
Goodluck!
B says:
My daughter started showing signs of readiness at 18 months, but I discouraged it because I was preggo with our second child. I had read that a lot of times they digress for Attention with a new baby around. So we waited till he got here and then a month or two for things to settle. We really started working on it around her 2nd birthday and she just turned 25 months two days ago and seems to be completely trained, haven’t had any accidents in about a week.
Trina says:
they actually sell a full size toilet seat that has a little one underneith. my daughter bought one…. kids just lift up the big seat and waaa-laaa mini size toilet seat. i think she bought it at lowes.
AJ says:
My day care lady has been potty training children for 15 years. Her rule of thumb is the summer between when they’re 2 and 3, because that means here in Michigan they can wear nothing but training undies. It’s worked like a charm with my first two children, 1 boy and 1 girl.
Aria says:
I’m not going to lie, I potty trained at 15 months. My mom said she had a very hard time finding itty bitty underwear to fit my teeny tiny bottom (I was also very tiny) I don’t think this is normal though. I think the consensus is 2-3 years old. Girls tend to train earlier than boys.
Madi G. says:
My kids were all potty trained between 18-24 months.
But that’s when they were ready…they naturally started showing a curiosity, and we capitalized on that curiosity.
I’m not sure Annie is ready. It’s hard to tell from what you’ve written, but I’m tempted to say “Wait a while.” She’s curious, which is great! But you need more than curiosity. She also seems a bit unfamiliar with the bathroom and potty, which is problematic. Our last house had a tiny tiny bathroom (Victorian house; it was literally once a closet) so we removed the door and put up a curtain instead (more room, since the door opened into the bathroom.) The result: kids always wandered in while we were doing our thing. So they were exposed to potties and the like from a very young age.
Kids who do not have an older potty trained sibling running around tend to potty train a bit slower in my experience as a nanny. (Not true for my own kids tho — read on) My first two were trained at 24 mo., whereas the second two were at 18 mo. and 19 mo.
The two youngest were actually using a potty way before 18/19 mo, because I was one of those nutty parents who tried infant potty training. I saw a show on Discovery Health about this and I was intrigued. I read a few books and gave it a go. Sort of one of those “Why not? I’ve got the time.” It worked! In short, you learn to read your baby and anticipate their need to go. Then, you sit with them on the potty and say a “trigger word” that indicates that it’s time to go.
(Sounds nuts, but if you have the type of baby who has a dirty diaper at the same time each day, it’s really easy since you just anticipate that.)
The problem with this is that you can’t leave a 5-month-old on the potty. You have to take them every time. But we saved tons on diapers!! They still wore diapers as a precaution, but really only used them at night or on outings when we couldn’t get to a potty (or find a clean one — there was no way I was going to put my tiny baby on a dirty public toilet!)
18 months old was about the age where they could start going independently. That’s when they could manage sitting on the potty, pulling down their pants, wiping, etc.
I guess my advice would be “don’t rush it,” particularly if she doesn’t seem ready. I think readiness is one of those things where you know when you see it (and if you’re wondering, it’s probably not the right time just yet.)
*shrug*
-Madi
MOnica says:
Jordyn was around 2 1/2 when she started potty training. I will tell you what my Pediatrician said. You can wait until she’s ready and it will take a few weeks to complete as opposed to several months if she’s not ready. Your mommy instinct will tell you when she’s ready =) Push her too soon and eventually she’ll become resistant.
Marin D says:
My older daughter potty trained right after three. She seemed interested at about two but it didn’t go anywhere. About a month after her third birthday she told me she wanted to use the potty and she did. My younger daughter turns three at the end of August and has no interest in doing it. We ask if she wants to and she says no. I can’t make her do it and I don’t want to make it an issue so we will see what happens in the next month or two.
On a side note, when we went to our pediatrician with our first daughter for her 2-year appointment, the doc asked about potty training. I was pregnant with our second and the doc said not to worry because a lot of kids revert back after a new sibling comes. My sister is going through this. She had a baby in November and her three year old is just now pooping in the potty again. He’ll be four in a few weeks. Talk about going backwards. My poor sister. The point of this is that they will kind of do it when they are ready. I figure as long as they can do it by the time they are four or so, I’m good. They need to be ready for school. :o)
Kim says:
My daughter was fully potty trained at 2 year, 10 months. We started earlier, but she wasn’t ready, so I stopped the process before I lost my mind! Then one day she hopped on the potty, without me asking, and we never turned back! Thankfully, just in time for school!
Tauni says:
My oldest peed and pooed in the toilet at about 19 months then I got pregnant and miscarried and things were put on hold for a while. She did potty train completely when she was 2 years and 3 months old.
My youngest potty trained herself at about 2 years old…may have been like 25 months old. Her cousins told her she couldn’t play with them cause she was in a diaper and it was stinky. Broke my little girls heart (and mine). I had introduced potty training but she had no interest but a then a little later after that incident she was going on the toilet all the time! I have such mixed emotions for that teasing by cousins. It still breaks my heart some and in other ways I think I could have kissed them!
One BIG tip – when you go for the potty training big time – shirt only that are a little longer and don’t bother with pants for the first few days. Can make them have accidents having to worry about undoing the pants. I know some moms that don’t even have them wear underwear for a few days to help prevent accidents.
On a side note – I potty trained my kids through the night when I potty trained. Yes it did mean a few nights of wet bed cleaning but I didn’t have to buy the night diapers. They stayed in underwear all the time. I only had maybe 2 or 3 night time dramas with each child until they were fully potty trained. Almost every morning we woke up with dry panties and bed; however, if I put them in the nighttime diapers (only a couple times each with each little one), without fail they would wake up with a wet diaper.
Josee says:
just so you know – there IS an elmo goes to the potty line… we have the book, and the DOLL (which, I suspect would be a total hit at your house!) was given to us second hand.
Debbie says:
I have three kids I’ve potty trained and I also teach at a preschool, having taught 2, 3 and 4 year olds (changing up each year, it seems!). The booklet has one thing right – the child will train in 1-3 months when they are ready. The key is that Annie has to be ready. You springing it on her now is not her being ready. Her being ready is Annie showing you signs that she understands what is going on, meaning, she knows that she’s peed or pooped, doesn’t want the diaper to stay on when she’s done it, etc. You can’t force it on the child when she’s not ready – it’s just heartache for you both. But once she shows signs, then go for it, and she might surprise you. BTW, I’ve always heard the average age for a child to be complete potty trained is 3 years old. The held true with my boys, and my daughter was shortly before she turned 2. In our 2 year old class at preschool, most are not trained when they start, though by the end of the school year, most are trained (so close to 3), or at least willing to go on the potty though not fully trained.
Debbie says:
Sorry – meant that my daughter was shortly before she was 3, not 2.
Jeannine says:
i dont have time to read all the replies but my daughter we started PT at 2 1/4 ish and she was pee trained by 2 1/2. However poop training took about six months. . And it was not til age 4 1/2 till she didnt wear pullups to bed.
My son is 2 1/2 in September and he is alllmost there. (daytime)
My other son is 17 months this august and i can assure you that he will NOT be PT at 18 months. He only says five words, and no, one is not pee or poop. IN fact im pretty sure he doesnt even know what pee is. I know people have trained their kids early like that and i give them kudos and am envious of their diaperless household, but for our family, i would simply be training for years if i started that early.
I truly believe in waiting for the child to show “signs” of readiness rather than starting PT due to age. After all, all kids do everything else on their own schedule (teeth, talk, learn to walk, etc), why should PT be any different. . . .
Kelly says:
Mea was 2 1/2, and I did almost nothing. Her sitter did it all. She is the shit when it comes to the potty training business. When you think Annie is ready, come out here, let her go to my sitter for a week, and she’ll be done.
Seriously.
Pull ups are just diapers with no tabs. No matter what they say, they still feel like a diaper. Plastic covered training pants, or no pants while they are learning. They have to feel a little uncomfortable to make it work.
Jess says:
I only have a boy, and I’ve heard they’re different to potty train. My child, who is the most suborn person who ever lived, at 2 years old was potty trained in 3 days.
Day 1, “Max, you aren’t using diapers anymore, they’re for babies you aren’t a baby, poop in the toilet” He did..
Day 2, he said screw you mom, used the diaper all day.
Day 3 he changed his mind and it as been toilet all the way since then.
I think pull-ups are crap, they are useless and expensive. Just stick with the diapers – loosen them up to help her pull them up/down.
Potty chairs are also crap, get a seat for your regular toilet. Who wants to clean out a tiny Elmo decorated bucket of poop?! Just buy the Elmo seat for the toilet and a step stool for her.
Michelle Pixie says:
We are working on it now with my 2 1/2 year old and I am still questioning if I and/or she is really ready for this. We have the pee down but the poop is going to be the death of me. Oh and just for the record I am pretty sure I’ve broken every single rule in that pamphlet!
Autumn says:
I think that is way to early to potty train unless your daughter has shown interest in it without you prompting!
I wrote all about my adventures potty training my son, http://www.autumncanter.com/adventures-in-potty-training/.
It did not take us three months at all. It took about 3-4 weeks tops with accidents occasionally and missteps after.
Glenda says:
My son was 18 mos and my daughter was 2 yrs old.
It takes lots of patience.
Good Luck with Annie!
Jessica says:
Sorry…but anyone who tells you their child was potty trained at 18 months…is full of POOP!!!
My boys were both 3 yrs old, which is average age.
Sara says:
I recommend getting a toilet seat with a potty seat built in. We have one, and it is amazing. Our 4 year old loves having her own seat, she hated the potty chair, and I did too, because I hate cleaning the toilet and having to clean the potty chair was that times a million.
Molly says:
That was hilarious, and she is gorgeous! We started “talking about it” around 18 months but didn’t get it done till 3, so no advice here!
Liz says:
Initially I tried to potty train my daughter at 18 months and it didn’t work. at. all. Then we tried again about 6 months later, and again 6 months after that, then I just gave up. She was so strong willed I knew unless I physically wanted to take her to the bathroom every 30 mins or so I just needed to wait until she was ready and approached me about it. Two months after she turned 3 she just decided she didn’t want to wear a diaper anymore, put on her big girl panties, and started going in the potty. OMG that was so easy. Definitely waiting until after 3 the next time.
Kristin Bagley says:
Just remember as you read all of this advice that every child is different. My son was fairly easy to potty train (at 22 months). I wrongly assumed that my daughter was ready when she got to that age. She started peeing on the potty shortly after, but she started holding her poo because she didn’t want to go in her diaper and we went through constipation issues for A YEAR! For her, I should have waited. Good luck… And be patient
Chris says:
My children were trained at 2. My siblings and I were all trained at 18 months. I think the advent of disposable diapers is responsible for some of the later potty training. Given the choice of cloth diapers, use of which would cramp the style of mothers in public, and the convenience of disposable diapers, who would really want to be hassling with little bundles of soiled cloth diapers? Where would you keep this aromatic little item – purse? Big old diaper bag?
Debbie says:
I used cloth diapers for my daughter from about 6 months until she potty trained at 3 years. She kept having a reaction to the disposable diapers, so I gave in to cloth and loved it. Her bottom had no problems. And the cloth diapers today are so much more advanced than those of the past, as are the ways to carry around soiled diapers. It was never a problem for me to use them.
alicia says:
I have experienced the potty training of just one girl child (plus two boy children, plus one more still in diapers). Girl children seem to be a lot faster, smarter, earlier. My daughter potty trained right at 2 years, like exactly 24 months. It seemed like it took more WORK on our part, though. Like, lots more accidents, reminding, etc., for a lot longer duration. My oldest son only potty trained after I forced him at age 3.5. My thirdborn was potty trained right at age 3. So, my daughter was a full year and a half ahead of her earliest trained brother. Still some months for Miss Annie, even if she’s a prodigy.
patty says:
My kids are all adults now- the oldest son was about 4- he just was not interested at all. My middle child, my daughter, about 3 and my youngest son was 3.5- but he would yank it out in the backyard and pee, too damn lazy to come inside and he wet the bed until about age 8. And they are all well adjusted adults My grandson, age 3, was totally potty trained in about a month, no accidents, don’t even have to remind him about it. I would say that 18 months is a bit young. And I would either block the handle on the toliet so Annie can’t reach it or keep the door closed!
Sarah Shohet says:
The pamphlet approach looks waaaaaaaaay too involved and long. My daughter was ready to potty train at 2 years 4 months (which I think is on the early side), my son at exactly 3. In both cases, it took a week. I think if you start too early, it takes too long. Wait awhile, so the pain is much shorter lived.
Erin says:
I second what everyone else has said about waiting until Annie is ready. That said, think that talking about it now is good. But if you’re planning to move soon, at least wait until after you move…you won’t want to be running to the potty every 5 minutes during the lovely no if process, and moving is a big enough change that it often causes kids to regress a little. But good luck!!
Alli says:
I’m ashamed to admit, I’m a regular reader and lurker, but this post has brought me out of the shadows. Your writing often draws some kind of emotional response from me (thank goodness I can’t read this at work anymore, because I was about to be driven to the looney bin in diapers), but this one…what can I say: POOP IS FUNNY!!!
My mom potty-trained 4 kids who were (still are) less than 5 years apart while she and my dad both worked outside the home. She says she just waited until we took our diapers off and went to the bathroom in the toilet on our own. She also tells stories of the time my brother came home from preschool with his diaper duct-taped on, so, you know…follow her example at your own risk.
statia says:
Everyone told me that boys were much harder than girls, so I waited until my son was three to train him. We used the three day method, and it worked like a charm. It was hard, don’t get me wrong, but overall, he trained quickly. But again, he was three, and generally more easy going than my daughter.
My daughter, now, gah, I read stories about Annabel, and I feel for you guys. She’s 26 months and “spirited,” defiant, stubbborn, you name it. I wanted to train her early, for this reason. And I can already see that she’s ready mentally, but I’ve missed that “pliable” window, where she would go easily. I tried my hand at underwear and she pissed in them, while standing next to the toilet. She had no desire to go. She wanted the bribes, without doing the work. She’ll hold her bladder in the pool, or tub, and wait until she’s out and pee on the floor, and then TELL ME she peed. The other day she removed her soiled diaper, because it didn’t get changed fast enough. So she doesn’t like, sitting in dirty diapers, but she won’t try to use the potty. I’m already stressed about potty training her, because I know we’re going to have a giant face off, and it could be bloody.
The three months thing, is just that you’re going to have accidents more often in those three months.
melanie says:
we always did it in a day or two (with accidents sometimes following for awhile afterward) right before they turned three. i like the “potty training in a day” approach, but only when they are really showing their readiness.
Heather K. says:
Our oldest daughter did everything early, she was walking at 9 months, she was potty trained by 19 months. We bought her a little potty & M&Ms & away we went! She was very into the potty & learning what it was all about. She would run around the house in her underwear, we would take her to the potty every 20 minutes for the first few days and after that she was going on her own, in her little potty chair.
Our second daughter was trained by 18 months, we think it had a lot to do with the fact that she saw her sister using the potty. But we did the same thing with her. Running around in her underwear, her own little potty that she could use whenever she wanted.
Our third born, our son. He wasn’t potty trained until he was 24 months. We did all the same things that we did with his sisters, I just believe that it’s because he’s a boy! :o)
Just introduce Annie to the potty & make sure she’s interested in it otherwise you’ll find yourself frustrated & getting no where. My kids loved going shopping for underwear!
Amy S. says:
started with my daughter at two, she had it down in no time but did.not.want.to.do.it. I too would catch her pooping behind the couch, it was hilarious (but also a reminder that they know what they’re doing). some quick notes: pull ups were too much like diapers to her, didn’t fase her. Had to use cloth panties with the thick crotch. Other moms told me to just use panties with vinyl covers but I found a pack of the cloth panties (Gerbe) at Walmart for like $6. They did the trick because after 3-6 months of going when she felt like it, she woke up one day more or less completely potty trained. FYI though, our daily commute to work was 35-minutes so I had a back up potty in my trunk so I could pull over when needed. One time we had to pull over in Daddy’s truck without said potty and I could see the cows running off in fear from her blood curdling screams. P.S. I had to wipe her until the age of 4-1/2.
Amy S. says:
Daily commute mentioned above was one way, so over an hour total…hard on a female toddler’s bladder, lol. Now I have started on my son…this is a whole different child, for sure! Annie will let you know when she’s ready.
Mommy says:
I wish you would have blogged about this about 5 months ago- before I foolishly bought a *case* of pull-ups at Costco. The mamas that said they are kind of useless (and expensive) are right- my 2.5 year old thinks they are super cool (because they have Buzz Lightyear or Lightning McQueen ob them), but he definitely does not use them like underwear. Instead, he sometimes tells me when he wants to use the potty, but if he is busy he just pees in them like they are diapers. Sigh…. I should have just gone straight to underwear.
Good luck with Annie! Only she could be so cute sitting on the porcelain throne!
Mommy says:
* on, not ob. Typing one-handed, nursing the baby!
Kay says:
I have a feeling Annie will be a pro when she is ready!
None of my boys started before 2 to 2 1/2 yrs and when they did they trained quickly, well worth the wait. If you do it too young you are training yourself, not the kiddo.
Also I have a friend of FB who was convinced she was going to potty train her 9 month old who couldn’t even walk. Gave m&ms for treats. 9 MONTHS OLD! I almost had to delete her to keep my mouth shut that for one it wasn’t going to be effective until the child could walk and speak and two, quit giving your child choking hazards, she has 2 teeth!!! Eeek!
Emi says:
My grandmother swears on the bible she had my dad and his siblings trained by the time they were 9 months old! She says she simply put them on potty chairs in the morning, after meals/drinks, and at night! I have a little trouble believing they stayed dry over night though…and my mom also swears she did the same for my sister and I. Pictures show us in panties at 18 months! I think it just depends on the kiddo because it took my little brother much longer to be potty trained.
TracyKM says:
It’s called elimination communication, and is practiced around most of the world. Most cultures teach their babies from day one that pee goes in a pot. Babies don’t need to be able to walk or talk to know their bladder is full and feel uncomfortable. Every baby will give cues (just like telling us they’re hungry or bored or sleepy); it’s up to the parent to learn these cues.
Not doing EC is my biggest parenting regret! I wish I had known about it sooner (it can be started anytime from birth to about 12 months, after that, it’s usually called potty training, but you can still use the same philosophy).
Ashley says:
We found that there is no exact time. Each kid trains in her own time, and the easiest thing to do is just relax. My oldest who’s 4 now took until she was almost 3 to train, I stressed, I worried, I tried 40 million “tricks” and nothing worked, then it clicked. She struggled with the pooping thing for a looooong time after, but eventually she got it. My youngest is 2 and got up one morning and decided she was going to be trained – and she was. It was awesome.
kris (lower case) says:
when annie comes to you and say..’mother..i would like to use the toilet now’.. she is ready to be potty trained. don’t rush it.. it is nothing but a pita so why rush. you have total freedom when you take her places now.. you don’t have to worry about any ones potty but your own.. enjoy this while you can.
Shelle says:
I have got to tell you, I had a long, challenging work day today. This blog post was the freaking funniest thing I have read in a long time and totally made up for the day I had. I cried, I was laughing so hard. I loved the Elmo comment the best.
In the meantime, I wish you so much luck. And, will be sending a check to help with the water bills.
Kristin says:
Ok, seriously, tears running down my face from laughing. Those are usually reserved to DYAC.
Good Luck. My ClaireBear is only 10 months, so I figure I still have a bit of time…
jessi says:
Both my girls were 2.5 and it took only a few months for them to be completely potty trained. I didn’t do pull up because isn’t it contradictory to teach a kid they are not allowed to pee in their pants but give them pants they can pee in? Anywho! My kids thought it was fun to sit on the potty younger too but I found that when we actually went to do the whole pee in the potty thing it didn’t stick until 2.5
Good luck!
Catriona says:
My son is 2.5 and we have not even started fully on potty-training. He could care less. Sitting around in a poopy diaper no big deal…hey is that a full diaper of pee no biggie….
Oh and I totally need a link to post this on Facebook because this is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amanda says:
Oh my stinkin heck! So funny, thanks for the laughs!
Emi says:
The toddler I nanny is 18 months old and just started potty training. He is definitely into it and asks aalllll day long to “Sit…potty? Potty? Potty? Pwease. Potty?”. And all of his toys have to go potty with him “Twucks, potty?”, “Whale, potty?”, “Fwog, potty?”, “Elmo, potty?” Pretty sure about 80% of the time I’ve spent with him lately has been in the bathroom while he tries to poop but mainly just sits there.He usually asks for the potty AFTER he poops in his diaper but he definitely gets the idea of pooping in the toilet since when I plop him onto the toilet he starts farting and grunting and pushing…so hopefully he’s trained soon because this boy is a stinker!
My grandmother swears all of her children, including my dad were ‘trained’ by 9 months. My mom had my sister and I sitting on potty chairs starting at about 6 months and we were in baby panties by 18 months. Pretty sure my mom was just very in tune with us and didn’t have anything better to do then take us to the bathroom every five minutes because when my brother came along he wasn’t potty trained until he was about 2 and a half and wet the bed probably until he was 8 or 9? Endless teasing from his older sisters for the rest of hist life. Haha.
MrsBott4u says:
We started talking about the potty at around 14 months, just explaining and let her sit on it if she wanted (she’d say UP so I’d hold her on the potty after I went). The second or third time, she actually peed and we made a big fuss, but weren’t “training” her. Every time we went in the bathroom she came in too, so it wasn’t something she was afraid of. We didn’t really “train” her until she was about 2.5 but even then it was her doing it. We had bought some panties for later on and she found them and wanted to wear them to the store. I told her that if she wore them, she had to tell me if she needed to go potty and keep them dry and she did! That was it for her. It was like a light switch! I say wait til she’s ready, get the vinyl panty covers for in case you are going to be in a position where you can’t take her right away and don’t stress!
Kirsten says:
I would second the advice of people who have said DO NOT get emotionally invested in potty training until your kid decides it is time! My daughter was clearly capable of potty training shortly after 2 years old, but it became a frustrating power struggle – so, we gave up, then she declared she was ready 4 months later and trained herself in one week over the Christmas break before her third birthday! Our son was not fully potty trained until a couple of months after his third birthday, but again, it took about one week when he decided he was ready. We let both of them sit on the potty and praised for potty-going whenever it happened, we just did not establish potty training as a goal until the kids declared they were ready. Good luck!
Kirsten says:
I forgot to mention that we used the kid potty seat that just fits over the regular potty seat, with a stool (pardon the pun) so they could climb up onto the big potty….never used a kiddie toilet.
TracyKM says:
Your doctor hands you a pamphlet, so she’s an “expert”? LOL! Ask her how much time was spent on teaching parents how to potty train a normal, healthy child, while in med. school
Some people start potty training at birth. Why not? Just like we teach carseat safety everytime we put them in the carseat, they can learn about the potty, and most babies will give you cues they need to eliminate, and they also don’t like being wet/dirty.
I found that the earlier I tried to start (like, 18-24 months) , the longer the whole process took…until they were about 3. The kids that waited till they were almost 3, were “trained” by the time they were ….3; sure I had to trade off puddles on the carpet for more money on Pull Ups (most stupid parenting invention ever), but it was a better experience in many ways. If I had another chance, I’d do EC from day one.
Now though is a great time to do “dream pees”. Gently get her up and to the potty about an hour after she goes to sleep. The cold potty on her warm bum will usually make any kid pee. Don’t talk, don’t turn on lights, etc. It might take a week before she can stay asleep while you guide her, but it’s a great habit to start young. The earlier you teach that pee goes in the potty and that diapers are just for “accidents”, the better…in theory
Mary says:
This made me laugh out loud! I have a 2 1/2 year old son and we’ve been “potty training” FOREVER. Um yeah… That’s probably not helpful. Good luck!
Expat Mom says:
I only have boys and let me tell you . . . it’s been a nightmare. I decided to let them start when they were ready, except they never were! Finally when my youngest was 2.5 and the oldest was almost 4, I decided they had to try. They picked up peeing really fast, but poop . . . didn’t happen. My youngest is 4.5 now and he FINALLY started pooping in the toilet, and it was accomplished with much kicking and screaming the first two days . He is now 100% diaper/pullup free.
My 5 year old is more problematic because he actually has a birth defect that means he can’t always control his continence, so he uses the toilet but still needs diapers at night and has accidents from time to time. We don’t worry about that, because most kids with his problems don’t fully get control until age 8.
So, with Annie, DO NOT worry about it! It will happen. And she’s so darn smart, I bet she’ll just up and tell you she’s using the toilet one day.
Katie says:
Heather, I am actually about to start potty-training my almost 3 year old daughter (in the next few days, actually), so I don’t have any advice or suggestions for you but I wanted to tell you that I was laughing OUTLOUD at my desk just now reading this. Funniest entry I’v ready all day. Thanks so much!!!! Don’t stress on potty-training…I’d give it another 9 months to a year until you start….but that’s just me!
lisa says:
I simply can not imagine having to teach a child how to use the potty. Matt and I were talking about it the other day, randomly, and we were both extremely wierded out by the thought and quickly changed the topic. Just another reason why we are not ready to be parents. Good luck!!
Mama Bub says:
I’m pretty much sticking my fingers in my ears and singing LALALALA on this one. Having finally fully potty trained my boy, I’m ignoring the fact that I have another one to train one of these days. But, I have to know where is Annie’s shirt from?
Becki says:
Pamphlet=ridiculous.
Seriously, burn it. Hide it. Forget everything you read in it, because it was probably written by someone who has never potty trained a child.
Potty training is a CINCH…if you wait until THEY are ready. Not you. Them. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for them to be PT’d at about week 2. Blech. In fact, I have 2 PT’d right now and my youngest is almost one and I’m *this* close to making a countdown calendar to when I can say ‘see ya’ to Pampers.
I tried to train my oldest too early and he crapped in his pants for six months. With my second, I just waited until she was ready. I gave each time we tried three days. If by the end of 3 days she wasn’t going by herself and had more accidents than success, we put the potty away and waited. Sure enough, on the 3rd try (I tried first when she was 23 months, then 25 months) she had it by the 2nd afternoon and hasn’t had an accident since. She was 26 months.
Do not spend 1-3 months training her…that’s insane. For a child that is ready, it should really only take a few days!
Amy says:
Someone suggest (21 years ago) when training my son to wait until summer becuase if they get a cold chill in the winter he’d wet his pants and not recognize that he had to go. So, he turned 3 at the end of July and we started in May and he was trained within a few weeks for peeing…pooping was another story! He would hide too and we were constantly looking for him to try to catch him in the act. LOL Then the wiping thing took forever until he could do it on his own and do a good job at it. He’d go to the bathroom and when he was done he’s yell “Mommy – I’m ready” or our most favorite “hey guys??? I need help” Many time hubby and I would look at each other and say “it’s your turn”….LOL Best of luck Heather!!!
Amy says:
Also training during the warm months makes for less laundry, less to wash when there’s an accident and also easier/faster to pull down shorts and undies then jeans.
Emily says:
Both of my kids (boy and girl) both trained in under 10 days… I am quite certain they must be freaks of nature. I hear lots of parents say to have a reward system. Like everytime they successfully go, give them a small prize (like one M&M or something else they dont usually get but like to have) Also, maybe have a little chart with stickers and when she gets a certain amount of sticks she gets a new toy or something. I know she is a little young to understand charts and all but it could be useful when she is a little older. Pullup diapers are great because they go on and off like undies and gets the child used to pulling them up and down (but they have velcro sides so if there is a “holy month that stinks” you dont smear it down her legs LOL)
Good luck!!!
Ashlee says:
‘She isn’t going to be 18 and still in diapers’ is what I always told myself. Just wait and they will basically train themselves, but that means diapers for another year or two.
amanda79 says:
My 1st son was potty trained at 2.5 years old in 4 days. It did not take 3 months at all. It all depends on how willing and ready your child is. Always praise your child, even if accidents happen. If they can feel that you are upset it will just set them back. Also if you choose to us pull ups treat them and call them underwear and remind them not to get there cool underwear wet….if they do, it’s ok, just change it right away so they aren’t staying wet like they would in a diaper. Also if you have a portable potty put it where they are while training. I did this for my son, if he was in the living room i had it there and each day i slowly moved it back to the bathroom that way it gave him time to actually get to the potty…..same went for night training, we had it in his room, then slowly moved it back to the bathroom.
I hope it all goes smoothly for both of you when both of you are ready
Kadee says:
My mom started potty training me at 15 months and I was completely trained just before 2 years. She also had a very tiny and sick preemie at this time; I have no idea how she managed it all.
My eldest niece was a potty training nightmare. They had two potty chairs – one in the living room and one in the bathroom – and she could not manage to get to them in time (at 3 years). They tried sticker charts, and finally resorted to candy rewards (something my SIL said she would never do) and that still didn’t work. They tried letting her run around naked so she wouldn’t have to remove any clothing to go. They let her watch TV on the potty. It didn’t matter how long she sat there; the moment she got up she would poop or pee on the floor. Or the furniture, or on her bed, or their bed…. etc. I don’t know how many times I had her shopping with me and she would pee herself in the store. She flat out refused to use a real potty for the longest time. Once she started to occasionally use the potty, she would refuse the first morning pee. She could hold it for hours and hours and no amount of bribery worked. Multiple bladder infections later, and almost at 4 years old, she finally trained.
My youngest niece was sort of the same. She simply did not care. She could sit in a poopy diaper all day and not be bothered. When she stayed with my mom for a few weeks, mom thought she would have her trained before she went home again (at 3 years). Not so much. After one particular incident involving a poopy diaper and a piece of crap being flung past mom’s head, efforts were doubled. Alas, to no avail. Magically though, one day she decided that she was done with diapers and started using the potty. She’s been virtually accident free since then – until now. At almost 4 years old, she’s regressed and started peeing the bed at night and having daily accidents. I put her in a pull up when she spent the day here at my house – I had no other choice.
My own daughter I tried potty training at 16 months with some success. She was pooping daily on the potty and it was wonderful not to be changing those diapers anymore. She was getting the pee in there too quite often, but of course I was still changing diapers. Often she would wake up dry in the morning. Then Christmas came and completely messed up our schedule. All of a sudden she was refusing to sit on the potty (at 18 months). I tried to force it, but she resisted. Every month after that I tried again, and backed off right away when it wasn’t working. She just turned two and I was thinking of starting her up again – when her cousin beat me to it. She watched her 3 year old cousin using the potty and that was the kicker. She always had interest in the potty, flushes it for me and gets me toilet paper and such, but watching her peer use it made something click. She now tells me when she wants to go – and she refuses to use the potty chair – only the big kid potty will do. I’m prepared to back off and wait another month though, if it doesn’t work out this time, but I have a good feeling about it.
Leah says:
Hahaha…I just have to say this a real ‘LOL’ post! Thanks for the giggle! My turn is still a while away as my bubs is only 7 months. I’m dreading it already
Martha H. says:
My daughter was potty trained at 2 years, 1 week. I started taking her potty with me at about 17 months, when I sat on the potty, she sat on hers. After she was used to just sitting on it, about a month or so, I started taking her diaper off to sit there. I also put her there right before her bath while the water was running to encourage her to urinate. At about 19 months, she told me potty, and went one day in the potty, but the next day, it was a no go. I just always treated it very naturally and casually. So a week after her 2nd birthday, she once again said potty, and just started going regularly. During that time though, we did bring her potty with us into the living room, so she could go whenever she wanted with us right there, if we were too busy to take her! I think it helped alot that I run a home daycare and she always saw “big” kids going, too. My son was also trained by 2. His cousins took him when they went and I took him when I went and it just happened naturally. Not to mention both of my kids loved to check out every new potty we could possibly visit in every new place…..they never had to hold it very long when we were running errands..LOL.
elizabeth says:
That pamphlet is awesome! So upset I didn’t get one at Q’s 18 month appt. Anyhoo, this topic is near and dear to my heart as we are potty training right now. I am taking a very laidback approach and it seems to be doing alright. Finally had some actual successes that I blogged about today. As for potty training and when to take the bottle away and everything else, I think age limits should be seen as middle of the road guidelines and NOT mandatory. Good luck with annie!
Kristafied says:
Just potty trained my oldest. Since she has been barging in on us since she could crawl, the basic procedure was certainly not a mystery to her. Starting around two, she would have these flares of interest and then back off, and just as I was about to seek professional help (mostly for me because I was getting worried that she was about to turn three and not potty trained) something just clicked in her head and she got it.
What I have learned from this experience: know your kid. I could give S sticker charts and cute pink butterfly underpants from here to the moon, but if she’s not internally motivated to do something, it ain’t happening. Why? Because she is my husband, but three feet tall. She has to observe and cogitate for a long time before she finally just jumps in and does stuff. That is how she is programmed and she’s been that way since birth.
The other take-home point I got from this was that flogging the dead horse with the broken stick gets you nowhere. You’re better off trying intermittently — practice sitting on the potty, wearing underpants, etc. If the kid generates an industrial pallet of laundry in 12 hours, take a couple weeks off, then try again. This isn’t a badge of honor proving your worth as a parent, it is a developmental milestone.
Lisa says:
I once read that whether you start the potty training process at 18 months or at 33 months, most kids will not be trained until 36 months anyway. In our case, it was the truth, but actually older. My daughter is just recently trained in the last couple of months, (she will be 4 in November), but only for peeing..still poops in a pull-up. She will ask you for a pull-up to put on (takes underpants off!) so that she can go in the corner and poop. 3 months would have been a dream. We’ve been “training” for the last year. What I have concluded from this process (and it truly is a process) is that “training” is a misnomer or at the very least misleading–they will do it when they want to and if anything they may be training us!
Wende says:
My daughter started training at preschool around age 2.5. She was in Pull-Ups, understood the concept, could occasionally hit the potty – but basically just wasn’t interested. I kept her in Pull-Ups, kept just the idea of the potty forefront in her mind, but did not make a big deal about it. One day, out of the blue, she suddenly decided she wanted Princess panties. She wore them for a while, but still just didn’t show much interest in the potty – so as a result, I was cleaning up dirty panties regularly! I put her back in Pull-Ups, explained to her she couldn’t wear panties or go to big girl school until she was using the potty correctly. Suddenly, one day right before school started, she declared she was using the potty – and that was it. She never had a single accident. Not ONE. It was all about her deciding it was time.
Don’t rip your hair out over it. Just show her the way, be consistent, and be patient.
Jane says:
Umh, I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging but rather as encouragement. My daughter went from diapers to potty in TWO DAYS. Also, no nighttime diaper. At 22 months. I am well aware this isn’t due to fabulous parenting but sheer LUCK and maybe a little bit miraculous. You have NO IDEA how stressed I was about potty training (preparing to spend the summer wiping up pee from the carpet) and then boom! I still can’t believe it. She’ll turn 3 in a week and I have forgotten what a diaper looks like.
Maybe it was an advantage that we used cloth diapers and did a bit of Elimination Communication. I’m a not a zealot by any means, but making her poop in a plastic container was the only way she would poop as a baby at all. Otherwise she could go 8 days without a BM. Eight days. As a two month old. So she was used to making her business outside the diaper already.
And then one morning I decided to do away with the diapers, so I explained to her, look, you are getting big girl underwear now and you need to tell me if you gotta pee, otherwise you’ll be all wet, ok? And she nodded ok, and then she peed herself TWICE in the following two days, and, like, never again.
Clearly, this is plain luck. But hold on there. I think the braver you are, the faster it gets. You’ll have REAL problems when she hits toddler puberty and you try to potty train her then.
GOOD LUCK! Annie is just A-dorable
Kim says:
Wow. I hate potty training. Because I am lazy, my kids basically have to beg me to stop wearing diapers. I let them set the pace so that I am not cleaning up pee and poop off the floor everyday all day long…although I do that a lot too.
Good luck Mama. Oh, and poop is gross. There is no way around that one.