I’ve been the big bad mom lately. Annie and Mike only get about an hour together every night before bedtime, so they squeeze a lot of fun-time hijinx into that 60 minutes. That leaves me to be the primary disciplinarian, and I don’t have even a fraction of Mike’s patience. I’m working on it, but it’s hard. I often feel bad that they are stuck with mean mom at home instead of nice dad.
Annie and I have been butting heads lately. It’s my fault. I’m still working on my scheduling and sleeping and I’m just not doing a good job at anything right now. She’s around, so she bears the brunt of my crankiness. We also haven’t done a lot of fun things lately – no breaks from the grind of sameness. While Annie does thrive on routine, I think everyone can benefit from the reward of spontaneity once in a while.
Annie loves surprises more than any other person I’ve ever met. I sometimes use this to my advantage and say things like, “Surprise! We’re going to clean the house!” and she’s totally into it, because it’s a surprise. Last Friday after a frustrating week, I decided Annie and I both needed a break. My mom watched James, and I took my girl out for a Mother/Daughter Reset Day. Surprise!
We kept it simple. We started at the mall, where Annie did one of her favorite things: hang out with mannequins.
She picked out some birthday presents, along with one shirt for herself. Watching Annie pick out clothes is such a trip. The girl has style, and more opinions than names in the phone book. Once we finished shopping, we grabbed our favorite drinks: venti latte for me, tall vanilla bean crème frappuccino for her (love the crème drinks for kids – no caffeine!)
My favorite thing was surprising her with a dinner date. I had a dress in the car, and when we arrived at our destination I told her where we were and what we were doing. She clapped her hands and said, “Oh boy, Mommy! A special dinner for just us!”
The restaurant had etch-a-sketches for the kids to play on, and Annie got busy drawing the blueprints for the house she wanted to live in some day. “Mommy, my house is going to be so big, but in the middle of your house and Jamesie’s house, because I need my own house but I also need to be near you guys.”
Sometimes she listened to me talk…
But mostly, she did all the talking.
When it was just the two of us, Annie told me about school and her friends. She told me about the funny things her different coaches and instructors say. She told me about wanting to grow up to be a Doctor-Designer-Architect-Butterfly. She asked me LOTS of questions. Neither of us were distracted, so we were able to focus on each other 100% It was so great. We held hands on the walk back to the car, and she asked me if we could have another special dinner soon.
Since our “reset,” the two of us have been doing a lot better. Before James was born I planned on lots of solo outings with Annie and it’s been far too long since our previous girls’ day. I’m not going to wait so long next time – my Annie and I both deserve it.
K.B says:
Your Annie is a lucky girl.
roshan says:
Good to know that she hasn’t forgotten her old friends – the store mannequins! It reminds me of the movie “I am legend” in which Will Smith befriends and talks to store mannequins.
Cindy says:
Which restaurant was it that had the etch a sketches? It looks like so much fun for kids!
Heather says:
Cafe Habana in Malibu. Yummy food!
TamaraL says:
So sweet! You both definitely deserve it!
Angel says:
Yes! My 4 yr old calls it “Girls Night Out!” no matter what time of day we have our outings. LOL! I make sure to switch off, one surprise GNO with her, one surprise “date” with my son. Since my son is the older one, I have felt it has really helped us to reconnect when we start to butt heads.
Debbie A-H says:
[Said in Chandler’s voice] Could she BE more expressive?
Maris says:
Such a sweet idea. Love the pics
Jen S says:
OMG! The pictures in this post. Her facial expressions are adorable. Love the idea of mommy/daughter dates.
Thanks for brightening my Thursday with this post
Kathy says:
I look at your pictures and think, “Hmm, I wonder what they were eating? Mashed potatoes? Spaghettios? Wait, maybe spanish rice? Is it lunch time yet?”. You should include food descriptions in your blog. Glad you had such a good outing with Annie!
Heather says:
HA yeah, the food DOES look weird! Annie had rice and a bean and cheese burrito (hold the beans).
Sara says:
So sweet!!!
JoAnn says:
I love this! I, too, am struggling lately. With a 7 week old to take care of, and a very rambunctious, talkative and cabin-fever stricken 6 year old in the house I have been failing at the “nice mommy” role, too. I know that I definitely want a moment like yours with Annie- just my William and I. No distractions, just an open opportunity for the two of us to connect just like the old days.
Denise says:
I need to do this more often! I love having one on one outings with each of my sons but I just don’t seem to remember to do it. Your post today reminded me how fun this age is and to soak it up. Thank you!
Melissa says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE. Annie looks SO happy and what a great idea, surprising her with a dress! I am due for a mommy-daughter date soon, too. Thanks for the reminder. We need it as much as they do. Thanks!!
Jolene says:
I don’t know exactly why but this made me emotional. It’s just so sweet. It made me so happy for your sweet Annie and you and it made me truly look forward to when my daughter is old enough to have mommy-daughter dates. Just so sweet. You are such a sweet mommy.
Jolene says:
Could I have used any other word but “sweet?” Geez! LOL
Amanda says:
I think the echo of our “mean times” are thunderous for us, but not quite so much to them. I am so happy that you found a way to find a reset. You’ve inspired me, so thank you!
christine says:
Being a Mom is not easy! I have started taking “Dong Quai” a herbal supplement. Amazed at how it calms by nerves without any side effects on me. I am not a big herbal person but this has really worked for me.
Heather says:
You are such a wonderful mom and Annie is so lucky to have you!
Glenda says:
Sounds like a fun date. I always did “mother/daughter dates” since my daughter was little. We still do them. Love them. We go get mani/Pedi’s and then lunch OR just a dinner date. Fun times!
Jeanie says:
What a great idea!
Sherri says:
This is awesome! You can see just how happy she is to be with you. I have great memories from mom/daughter and dad/daughter dates growing up. And at 35, I still look forward to getting together, just my Mom and I, for dinner.
Paula says:
I love this post. I love the love in Annie’s eyes as she looks at you. This day? Priceless.