Hey party peeps!

Annabel here. I’m breaking my blog silence to talk to you about something very important to me – birthdays. More specifically, how I think I should get to celebrate one every day. My mama, however, has brutally rebuffed this idea, and this is why I’m coming to all of you.

Ever since I celebrated Rigby’s birthday last December, I have been completely into birthdays. My mama says I’m obsessed, but I don’t like the negative tone that word implies. Then it was my cousin Spencer’s birthday, my daddy’s birthday, and then it was my birthday, and then my cousin Danny’s birthday…it was celebration-city around here. And you know what? I got used to it.

What’s not to love? Singing is awesome. I know all the words to Happy Birthday. Blowing out candles is super-rad, it’s the closest I’ve ever been allowed to fire. And tied for most-awesome, cake and presents. Man, if I could somehow eat cake off of presents, it would be the best thing that ever happened.

eating birthday cake

But then one day, I woke up and said to my mama, “Happy birthday party?” And she said, “No Annie, no birthdays for a while.”

Are…you…kidding…me? That was completely unacceptable. So I formulated a plan. I would just every so slyly drop, “Happy birthday!” into conversation, and the people around me would be tricked into giving me cake. It was foolproof.

The first time I tried it, my daddy and I were watching SportsCenter. I climbed up next to him and said, “Hi Dada! Happy birthday, Dada! Sing song now? Hap-py birth-day, daaaaddyyyyy. Blow out candles now? Eat cake?” My daddy looked at me like I’d just recited 100 digits of Pi. “Annie! That’s so cute! We don’t have cake, but how about some ice cream?!”

Man, he is so easy! Turning 16 around him will be awesome.

But my mom you guys…she’s proving to be much harder. I tried my same move on her. “Mama! Happy birthday, Mama! Blow out candles! Eat cake!”  I started to sing, but she interrupted me quicker than Kanye interrupted Taylor Swift. “It’s not my birthday for a few more months, honey. We’ll have cake then!”  I got mad, and she knew it. Probably because I also yelled, “NO! Birthday now! Annie eat cake! Mama’s birthday! Annie’s birthday!” I totally lost my cool, you guys.

I’m just a kid, so I’m not great with the poker face yet.

I keep trying to wear her down. Every morning I greet her with, “Happy birthday, Mama!” but she seems totally unimpressed with my cuteness. I don’t understand! Why doesn’t she want to have cake every day? When I’m a grown up, I’ll eat cake for every meal.

My mama says that birthdays are special and are only celebrated once a year. I think that’s poop! I want to celebrate birthdays every day! A vote for Team Annie means cake for everyone, and a new bag of plastic choking hazards every day.

Happy birthday! Peace out!


dictated, not read (because I can’t read)