I’ve never been good at admitting when I’ve had enough. Be it dessert, sleep, or clothes, I’m always going to try to squeeze in more than I need. But those aren’t unpleasant things to cop to. One thing I’ve never said or written is that sometimes I’ve had enough of parenting.
After everything we went through to get Madeline born and out of the NICU, I felt like I was a horrible person if I didn’t enjoy every single second with her. And let’s be brutally honest – it would take a saint to enjoy EVERY SINGLE SECOND of parenting, no matter WHAT the circumstances. When you haven’t slept for 63 hours, or your baby won’t stop crying, or you can’t even go to the bathroom alone – no one puts those on the top of their “Things I’m So Excited For!” list when they’re pregnant.
When Annabel came my happiness and relief carried me through the early rough patches – the times when a normal person would be like, “holy crap, I need someone to spell me.” As Annie got older and more willful, the feelings of needing a break would creep in, but I would shove them aside.
Unfortunately, ignoring my feelings only made things worse, and I began to get resentful. I wanted to share my frustrations, maybe vent a little, but I was afraid to. I felt like the second I said, “sometimes I just want a night off,” people would jump all over me. And I felt like I’d deserve to get smacked down. There are women who are sterile, or who’ve had adoptions fall through, or had miscarriages, all of whom would love to have the “luxury” of complaining about a child. I know after Maddie died I would have taken a million sleepless nights if it meant I had her with me.
But I really wasn’t being fair to myself. Parenting is a 24 hour a day job, and it is SO HARD. Hard in ways I never imagined. Other jobs come with vacation (and hazard pay – can you imagine what an explosive diaper would be worth?) and weekends to recharge. When you’re a parent, you only get wisps of time to take a breath before you’re back on duty.
I did Annie a disservice by not writing about the times I was frustrated with Maddie. I don’t want her to look back and see that I never once wrote about a time her sister was bratty and think she has a perfect older sister. There were plenty of times Maddie let her brat flag fly. I was just afraid that if I complained about them, I’d appear ungrateful. And that’s patently untrue – I am so grateful for my daughters. Even when they are bratty, stubborn, and frustrating.
Wanting breaks doesn’t mean I don’t love my girls. Bemoaning how hard it is to raise a child doesn’t mean I don’t love mine. Sharing the crappy parts of parenting (and there were plenty with Maddie) doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids! I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to admit this to myself.
Lisa says:
Thank you for writing this I feel guilty whenever I complain about my son who is in remission for leukemia. I should he happy and thankful I still have him and I am but parenting is hard thanks for making me not feel so guilty!! xoxo
Nicolette says:
So honest and heartfelt.. I can only hope that someday I will be the courageous, honest, compassionate and fantastic mother that you are thanks for being an inspiration to all of us..
Amy Collen says:
Love this, Heather. It’s all about being a parent. It can be gratifying, frustrating, wonderful, icky (poopy underwear GROSS!!!), pain in the butt, awesome, pull your hair out screaming into the night, and worst of all (especially for all of us whose children have passed away, are sick, in NICU’s, PICU’s) scary and horrible. Sometimes we need a break. Good for you for talking about this! It’s okay to want a break!
Nancy P says:
Amen! I think you just spoke for a lot of parents out there.
Amy Collen says:
Perhaps I should send you my Supermom shirt and the snarky look on my face. LOL! Nothing makes a mom want to take a break more than a kid with a VERY poopy diaper in a restaurant without a changing table. I think those owners should be reincarnated as dung beetles. I’m just sayin’.
Olivia says:
THIS.
I realize I don’t admit needing an occasional ‘parenting time out’ for fear of hearing what I oft read in comment sections (usually re: working moms struggling to find the balance) “Why’d you have a kid if you don’t want to be around to raise it?”
And while I’m sure there are folks out there who love EVERY SECOND of parenting, the rest of us join you in waving the white flag.
Melanie B says:
This is called being human. My baby boy hasn’t let me sleep since he was born 5 months ago and screams when his daddy takes him. I have been tethered to him night and day. I need a break but, can’t take one right now since I’m nursing and he isn’t good with other people. I know what you’re talking about, so do most moms. I always shake my head when I hear parents talk about never letting their child out of their sight.
Fiona says:
Thanks for this post….
Tricia says:
Oh mama, you’re so not alone. And it will help a million Moms today to hear you admit that you need a break. It took me so long to learn that – I still struggle with it. I’ve found, like you, that the pressure of being a good Mom fights with the reality that it’s exhausting some days, frustrating and never-ending. The good thing is when you take a day off, or a time out, you always come back better and stronger. (Or at least that’s been my experience). I think society and sometimes we ourselves put so much pressure into the “image” of being a good parent, that we completely miss the fact that it’s one of the most demanding, all consuming, selfless things we could ever do. If we didn’t feel resentful, or exhausted or want to run away sometimes, then something really is wrong. I often have days with my kids where I feel like the mother from hell, even though I’d die for those kids. On those days, I’m learning to take a step back, and tell them that I need a break and we always end the day with telling each other we’re sorry (if we’re the instigators and that we love each other no matter what.) No matter how fiercely we love, we are human beings.
I can only imagine how much more powerful that desire is when you have lost one of your precious children. Or when they’ve been in the NICU, or in any way compromised. Yet, in your situation you deserve a break more than the rest of us, much more. You are not only coping with the toddler diva demands, but dealing with the heavy, heavy burden of grief, each and every single day. I think you are completely amazing to be able to walk through all this and be the absolutely incredible mother you are. Remind yourself that incredible mothers are usually the ones who need the breaks the most, because they don’t willingly give them to themselves.
These days will try you, test you and exhaust you. It’s OK to say “enough” sometimes. I remember them clearly and yet they have faded, only to be replaced by my freshly thirteen year old daughter’s teenage version of her toddlerhood. (ahem ….). It’s a rollercoaster and I wish all Moms would be honest – I’ve always been and have been met with so much judgement for admitting it. We’d all be much more of a village if we damn well did admit it and stepped in for each other when those things do overwhelm us.
I have nothing but complete admiration for the mother you are Heather. Admiration and amazement for the way you have walked this journey of yours, this journey of grief and loss and yet you inspire the rest of us to be better. Not perfect, just better.
I hope you take some time for you today. Even a small increment of time to do something that reminds you of the Heather you were before you had your beautiful, feisty daughters. I’m right there with you.
Hugs and virtual love and support. Maddie and Annie couldn’t have a better mother, that’s why they chose you.
Tricia x
Ms. Moon says:
I don’t know why it took you so long either but I’m glad you finally did. Love from Florida…Mary
Kim says:
Great post!!! My daughters were born 3 months early and whenever I would complain or say I was tired I would invariably be met by a “you should be grateful they lived!” Usually this was from an older family member who had forgotten just how hard it is to be a mom! I used to feel guilty, too, but I’ve come to realize that taking a much needed mommy time out makes me a better mommy. So glad you wrote this post. I know it will help ease a lot of mommy guilt.
nichole says:
I love that you wrote about this. I felt some of the pressure, too, when my daughter was younger. My husband is a Marine, and we’ve only spent a few months actually living together since she was born almost two years ago. So I’ve had to play some of the parts of being a single parent. To top is off, I’m wrapping up grad school…so my babe has been in daycare since she was 6 weeks old. There were days where I was SO tired that I would wrap up with class at noon and go home and crash until I had to get her at 5:30. There were also days where I would feel the need to mentally “check out” for a bit and recharge. The guilt of being her only parent around and feeling as if I needed to love her enough for 2 people (and never let her down), and not complain about always being “on” to my husband who never gets to be “on” led to the night when she was about 4 months old and wouldn’t go down and I lost it. Also, it wast like I was with her a lot during the day…so that compounded my guilt. All I remember is my husband gently saying (over the phone) “put her down, and walk out…you can let her cry it out” and I did and then proceeded to sit on my balcony and sob big snotty tears over the phone until I eventually realized she had fallen asleep. Then came the (quiet) lecture of how I can’t be “on” for school and “on” for work and “on” for Ellie if I don’t take the time to do things for myself. When I apologized for being selfish since he can’t see her he laughed and responded with “are you kidding? I spent the first 5 weeks staying at home with her…I know she can be a pain in the ass.”
Even now there are moments where I’m like “ugggggh, can I just pee without you using me as a jungle gym?” But I’ve found that when I can pop her down with a book and get little breaks in mommyhood I am much more patient.
I just wish moms in general didn’t feel so guilty for taking a quick break. Afterall…we were “us” long before being “mom”, and we shouldn’t be pressured to let the “mom” title be the only thing that defines us.
Susan says:
Great post! To be the best mom you (or any mom) can be, you have to take care of you first. Moms need to recharge, rest, relax and go back into battle.
elizabeth says:
Amen! Preaching to the choir here. Easier said then done – and I don’t do it enough either – but always try and take some time for yourself. Our kids will be better for it.
Sue says:
LOVE THIS! I love the realness of your post and I am sorry it took you so long to feel ok with posting it (and I totally understand – we dont want to be judged as parents) but just remember that other people’s opinions of you are none of your business (cant remember who said that, someone famous). I just posted on my facebook account that when my husband came home from work the other night, I locked myself in my bathroom (only room with a working lock), turned on the fan, lit a candle, and filled the tub full of blankets to take a “blanket nap” while daddy entertained our 2 and 5 year olds.
We are not perfect, we do our best with what we have, we love our kids more than anything, and darn it sometimes we need a break!
AmazingGreis says:
I know so many moms that feel the same way. A mommy time out is definitely needed and well deserved!
Meghan says:
Dont you feel guilty for one second!! We are all right where you are and it is definately HARD. I’ve had my chance at being a stay at home mom and a working mom, and honestly, I thought staying home was much much harder. Its constant stimulation, and even when theres downtime, you are responsible for another human being, you can’t ever really let your guard down. Take a break girl, you deserve it, and need it to recharge!!
Julie says:
Taking care of you is the best thing you can do for your family. I have 2 teenagers and their Dad has pretty much bailed on them so it is ME. It is ok to get frustrated. Then when they do something totally amazing you realize you really are ok. My son just offered to give what little money he has in the bank to a friend whose house burned….i must be doing something right. My last year and a half has been from hell……lots of frustration and tears…..no one is perfect and honesty is great…..my sister never forgets after her daughter was born and I gave her the REAL DEAL an told her she really wasn’t going nuts……
take care from burning hot NC
Kate says:
I suffered two losses. Then went through surgery, twice. And then the IVF process, twice. Now I have two gorgeous children I would lay down my life for. Still, pretty much every day I vent to other adults about how the little demons are sucking the life blood right out of me. HA! I fully believe that parents who never complain are evil robots. You have to vent sometimes, to maintain sanity. Plus, having an outlet to release frustrations make it so you don’t vent AT your children. See? Healthy.
Brandy says:
My walk to have my two children was not one I would wish on anyone but it did make me appreciate them in ways I can’t imagine I would have had we not struggled. That being said, I have definitely never let it be known that there are times parenting is NOT fun. One of the most common things people have heard come out of my mouth is that at 3:00 a.m. me and my babies are NOT friends. I still love them but I do NOT like them. I am a person who needs sleep, and while it’s not that much at a minimum (really I can get by on 5-6 hours!) I still need those hours.
There were times I felt guilty about it but then I would remind myself that it’s okay to be frustrated and okay to need “me” time because becoming a mom does not take away everything that’s in me that still needs to be a regular, whole person too. I also am quick to remind new moms and seasoned moms alike that they need to take care of themselves because they are just as important. Just keep telling yourself that.
DefendUSA says:
Before the internet, I can tell you that saying this out loud wasn’t really done because people like to pretend that being a parent is the bomb. It is very rewarding but we are human for crying out loud. We love our children but we all have limits and days when we just want to run if we hear “Mooo-ommy!”
We all need validation that we are doing a great job when things are running smoothly, but we also need it when we feel like absolute shit and cannot possibly go on another second. It’s okay. Really, it is.
Colleen says:
You are healing and coping, and it isn’t always easy. Parenting isn’t always fun, what is? There is no reason whatsoever to feel guilty when you admit that sometimes you don’t like it. MANY times I didn’t like it, that doesn’t mean you don’t love the children. I am very skeptical of the parents who only have rosy pictures to paint about the joys of being a parent. Many LOVE the new baby stage and go on and on about it. I felt that I could never complain because clearly I was missing a chip since I didn’t love that phase, I was exhausted and clueless. We are what we are and it is what it is. The good parts (and there are a plentitude) are amazing and fufilling and the bad parts just suck. In total, the good outways the bad by a landslide and so we keep procreating and the human race goes on…… Learn to accept yourself as human and take joy when you are loving it and take care of yourself when you are down.
Susan says:
Heather,
As one of the moms who have adopted my children after many failed attempts at having a baby, I completely understand what your saying. I can remember talking to my friends who were already moms and listening to them vent their frustrations, I would say calmly….well when I finally get to be a mom and I see that little face looking up at me calling me mama I can’t imagine anything they do could frustrate me. Ummmm yeah I applaud my friends for being able to not laugh in my face. I look back on those comments now and think….bwahahahaha. I had no idea. Who knew that those little faces calling me mommy 50 trillion times a day would make me curl into a fetal position in the broom closet humming the star-spangled banner. Ultimately as parents we all have those moments no matter how our kids come to us, whether its bringing them home from months in the NICU or going to a far off land and bringing them home on a plane. Parenting is f’ing hard dude….but I wouldn’t change a thing as I know neither would you. Your doing a great job Heather never doubt that!!!
Kate says:
I think this kind of speaks to the “judgy moms” thing you were talking about a few weeks ago. There are inevitably going to be people who turn up their noses and scoff because how dare you make any element of parenthood even appear momentarily challenging or unpleasant when it is a blessing and their worlds (the judgy moms’ world, that is) are filled with lollipops and sunshine and total joy!
Ignore them. Ignore the exploding diaper contents out of them.
I taught for four years at an at-risk school, and we had a teacher there who absolutely refused to acknowledge, ever, that the job was difficult. She put on this rosy facade at all times and would tell the rest of us off for ever having a moment of frustration because we were doing important work and how dare we have negative thoughts about it?! Which struck me as disingenuous on days when I spent my planning period cleaning up after a fight in my classroom, but c’est la vie.
What I realized when she left, though (she went to a different school; we weren’t lucky enough for her to leave the profession!) was that it created this toxic environment. Because she refused to acknowledge any bad feelings, the rest of us felt like we weren’t allowed to talk about our own – and we had to sneak around like students hiding cigarettes just to vent. I think not talking about your frustrating parent moments is like that; other people then aren’t sure if they should talk about it, and suddenly there are a bunch of moms smuggling glasses of Franzia during naptime rather than talking.
There are always going to be nay-sayers. Let them nay. Because everyone else actually needs to hear that stuff.
Stephanie says:
What a wonderful post. Don’t feel guilty, not even for a second. People who say parenting isn’t hard don’t have children. Just because you-and everyone- need a breather for a few minutes a day or a few hours a week doesn’t mean you don’t love her or love her any less.
Erin @ One Particular Kitchen says:
It’s SO OKAY to admit this! Good for you, Mama.
AnnD says:
I had one of those nights last night! I swear, everything went wrong…..my son got the Windex down off of the counter right before bed, sprayed it all over himself and we caught him and weren’t sure if he swallowed any and we had to call poison control. Meanwhile, I had 4 y.o. throwing hissy fit while I was talking to the poison control lady because she didn’t have the pajama’s on that she wanted. I told my hubby: “I’m going to call myself into CPS cause, apparently, I can’t do this job very well….”
Monica says:
Heather you are so real and honest and one of the reasons I enjoy following you. You are also human and therefore your feelings as a mom are completely valid. I would think you’re nuts if you didn’t have bad days every now and then.
Bridget says:
I wrote about this just last week. I tend to write about how GREAT! and FUN! and WONDERFUL! parenting is. But sometimes it’s not. And I think we are doing a disservice to our kids, ourselves, and each other by not sharing the times of suck as well as the times of awesome.
Brie says:
I always feel like I have to preface any complaint about my kids with “but I love them”. Since being at home with them is my job, I need to be able to complain. I wish I could do it without people saying “then go back to work”.
Lora says:
Part of blogging is getting to tell the story the way you want others to see it. I think they are few and far between, the bloggers who give the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I certainly never assumed that because you didn’t come right out and SAY it that you didn’t have your moments of frustration, difficulty and challenges just like we all do as parents.
On the other hand I think reading about some of Annie’s…..less favorable and less adorable behaviors might be quite amusing! So write and vent away! Anyone who has been here any length of time, or who is a parent, will not judge you for occasionally needing to say “Holy sh*t this is HARD!”
Lisa says:
When my first daughter was born after my last daughter had died, I too, had pangs of guilt over being resentful with the crying and sleep deprivation. But I realized the crying and no sleep was the whole parent package. It actually felt good to have that balance and feel like a normal parent again.
Ashley Tinius says:
Thank you for writing this. I’m one of those mothers that gets funny looks and “Oh, surely you don’t mean that!” comments from people who are A: Too old to remember what it’s REALLY like to have kids, or B: Have no kids, or C: Have, like 12 kids and think it’s “such a blessing!” or “the best job in the world!” (at least that’s what they tell everyone else). I have feeling of guilt for thinking/talking about the bad parts of being a parent, and although I love my 3 girls, there are plenty of bad parts. It’s just that no one talks about it. I think we’re all too busy trying to seem like “the best mom ever” and we don’t want other moms to see our weakness, or that we don’t love every minute like the “good moms” seem to. I’m the crazy lady that tells it like it is and comes unglued occasionally at the grocery store. BUT also love my girls and wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Becca says:
I remember thinking when my 5 kids were young, that if one more kid tugged on my shirt or pants leg and said,”mom, mom, mom” I would rip off all my clothes and run down the street naked! Parenting can certainly be overwhelming at times. Hang in there!
Heather says:
Thanks for writing this post, Heather. I have two boys, ages 8 and 4, and my husband is currently serving his second tour in Iraq. I live in the western U.S. but our entire extended family lives on the east coast, so it’s just me, all the time. When I’m about to lose it, I can’t tell my husband, because he’d give anything to be with the boys. If I say it out loud, I feel guilty for not being able to “do it all, all the time”. I think as mothers, we are way too hard on ourselves. I know this, but I keep beating myself up anyway. We all need a break, and it is normal and there’s nothing wrong with that. Anyway, your post was the reassurance I’ve been needing the past few days. Thank you.
Heather says:
It is the very real part of being a parent. I love my daughter and we went through a bit to have her (not as much as some but more than most). There is a reason that I work – I know that I am the type of person that needs a break from being Mommy and that does not make me a bad parent. Hang in there.
Mandy says:
First, THANK YOU, I woke up this morning, & I swear, you wrote this post just for me. I’m a SAHM to our 3y.o. dd, and she is an only child. I bit the bullet and have enrolled her in 3 day/week preschool and she starts next week b/c she seems board and she WANTS OTHER KIDS AROUND. I’m doing it b/c I want her to have the social environment that she doesn’t have at home. In the same breath, I feel like I’m make excuses & wimping out as a mommy & all I want to do it cry!! S.O.S. to all mommies who read this….I FEEL LIKE I’M FAILING B/C I DON’T WORK AND I’M PUTTING MY DAUGHTER IN 3 DAY A WK PRESCHOOL. I swear I’m doing it b/c I really believe it will be good for her, but like I said, mommy wimp???? Thank you for posting this, Heather:) It took a bit of the edge off for me.
Veronica says:
Don’t feel guilty and you are not a failure – she needs a social environment of her peers, that is how children learn social skills – this move is going to be so good for her!! and for you too! If I were a SAHM I would do the same thing, kids need each other, you are doing such a great thing for her!
Mandy says:
Veronica ~ Thanks so much for the vote of confidence! They mean more to me than you’ll ever know!
Alison says:
you are abslutely NOT a failure! enrolling your daughter in daycare is a fantastic choice for her and for you. she needs that social interaction and the “school” type of environment is excellent practice for real school in a couple of years. you will get the breaks that you need, whether they are spent running errands in peace or taking a much needed nap. i am a full-time working mom, my daughter has been in daycare 5 days a week since she was 3 months old. some days i feel really guilty, but then i see how happy she is and all the little friends she’s made and i know we’ve made the right choices. don’t tell anyone, but a couple of times a year, i take the day off work, and still take her to preschool for the day. sometimes i just need a day ALONE in the house. daughter at school, husband at work. and i finally get a few hours to do whatever i want for a change. we all need a break in order to be better parents, in my opinion. chin up, you’re doing the right thing! hang in there.
Mandy says:
Alison ~ Thank you! I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. I just always felt guilty for feeling that way. Sometimes when we get wrapped up in life, i.e. kids, marriage, etc… we think we’re the ONLY ones that go thru or deal with any of life’s daily challenges. For the longest time I’ve felt so alone & guilty in how I’ve been feeling. Thanks for showing me that I’m not:)
Dora says:
OMG, YES!!!! As a single, full-time working mom I daydream about the days I take off from work and bring her to daycare. My daughter is the light of my life. My miracle baby. But LORD am I tired!
And she LOVES, LOVES, LOVES her daycare. She loves her teachers and her friends. She’s my 20 month old social butterfly.
Heather, have a great time at BlogHer. Have a few drinks. And give Eden a big hug from me!
Heather says:
TOO MANY MOMS feel like they HAVE to do it all on their own or they are bad mothers. Because of this, more and more women get burnt out on it and can lash out with bitchy judgmental bullshit. I have begged my mother to keep it real with me and tell me the truth of how much being a SAHM mom must have sucked sometimes and she’s like, “Actually, it was almost always pretty great. But I frequently used a baby sitter and put you in day care and back then that was normal.” WHY ON EARTH do so many women NOW feel like THEY are the only people who can take care of their kids? I feel like I’m gonna be the worst mom evar because I PLAN to hire a regular babysitter and put my kids’ butts in daycare as soon as possible. This American mentality that we have to do everything on our own PERFECTLY otherwise we’re failures at life has harmed too many people. Screw that. Do what you want, moms! Hire babysitters! Put your kid in preschool! It will help the economy and your sanity so you can be a better-functioning adult all around, and it teaches kids how to deal with stuff on their own. IT TAKES A VILLAGE. USE IT FREQUENTLY.
Veronica says:
I had a moment yesterday where my lovely daughter was practically crawling up my butt, screaming Mommy a gazillion and a half times and then she proceeded to take off her wet diaper and throw it on the floor – I broke, I yelled, I huffed and puffed and then she cried – I should have been the one crying. I even dropped an F-bomb, bad mommy – I am really working on my vocabulary and that blew it for the day.
This parenting gig is tough and I will never deny that reality, our kid is high maintenance. We love her, but sometimes we really don’t like her much and that is OK to say. I am not perfect and never will be and any parent who claims to LOVE every second of the day is just fooling themselves. I struggle each day to get some alone time – it is a necessity for me so I make it happen, even if it is just to go to the bathroom by myself, I need those moments to stay sane with the little tornado that resides in our house!
Bria says:
Many hugs to you, Heather. I know just how you feel (as I’m sure every parent does) including the guilt. But it’s really OK for us to want (and take) a break sometimes. It’s better for us AND ultimately better for the kiddos too.
Kristin says:
This is awesome and honest and you are so not alone in feeling this way. We all need some time off every now and then to re-charge.
Shell says:
Having raised or been involved with raising 9 children myself (my younger siblings, 3 steps and a bio with Mr. Shell #1, and 3 steps with Mr. Shell #2) I can totally relate.
I’ve always said that parenting is the only job which can be described as both thankless and rewarding in the same breath. I was fortunate enough to learn early on that I couldn’t be all things to all people and still remain sane. Take that break. Let grandma or grandpa babysit for an afternoon while you get your hair and nails done. Even if it’s for 2-3 hours, you will be a stronger and healthier parent for taking that time for yourself. Honest! (And any judgey-types can kiss my skinny white ass.)
Nancy Smego says:
Heather, you are so cute. Everything you said was right on the money and there would definitely be something wrong with you if you didn’t need a break from parenting once in a while to recharge your batteries. It’s the perfect time for grandparents if you have the luxury to plan a time off in advance for you and Mike to go away togther. Or, for those times when you just want to scream at 2:30 in the afternoon, it’s perfectly normal. It’s not good for the kids if you don’t take care of yourself, too. DON’T FEEL GUILTY!
Julie says:
Thank you for writing this, Heather, and once again being open and honest. I know it’s not always easy to put the good times out there, let alone the crappy times. I have been a long time reader of your blog and this is not the first time you have brought me to tears – but I wasn’t expecting them this time. But you hit the nail on the head. I think I am too afraid of sounding ungrateful or like a bad mom if I admit that I just need a break. We struggled with infertility, lots a son and daughter (twins) at 5 months pregnant and have been blessed with 3 boys since them…I am so very, very grateful and I love my boys so very much. But lately – I just need a break. I need a break for me, from my boys, from my husband – but I also need more breaks WITH my husband. That’s been the thing we’ve struggled with is the so very important couple time. And lately – with twin boys who are 3 and a half and refusing to finish potty training, well a lot of days we are both at the end of our ropes and at each other.
So – long story short – thank you, thank you, thank you for being honest, real and true. I appreciate your words more than you know.
Now – time for that break!
Marie says:
When my 3 children were little, I made some me time. I also worked so had a break during those days. But I had 3 things just for me. Well four if you count grocery shopping (which I hate).
I belonged to the Lady Lions club and we met once a month, plus any benefits or outings we had. I also bowled once a week during the evening in the winter. My other outlet was the library. One hour a week at the library was so peaceful. I should tell you that during all those things my husband was home for the kids. And he did the same kinds of things and I was home. So switch it up. Join something. Get thee to the library. And Mike can stay home with Annie. Everyone needs a break – EVERYONE!
Good luck from Minnesota
Marie
Amy says:
Oy! This comment takes me back to when my girls were babies (twins) and son 4. I HATE grocery shopping but it was so damned FUN going without any kids hanging off of me. Seriously, motherhood is challenging when your most enjoyable solo activity is GROCERY SHOPPING! All by yourself
Terra says:
I personally think it’s a mom thing. I don’t have a problem admitting that I need a break, but TAKING a break is about impossible for me. I feel like I’m the one that should be with my kids, not anyone else. Drives my husband batty.
All kids are difficult, admitting that makes you a GOOD parent.
J+1 says:
Amen. I struggle with this– I wanted my daughter so much; am I a terrible mother because sometimes I want nothing more than a couple of hours away from her?
We’re doing no one a favor (including ourselves) if we’re not honest about it. Parenting is hard work. Needing a break does not mean we love our child(ren) any less.
Trisha says:
AMEN Sister!!!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Jeannine says:
You’re awesome.
It’s more than OK to say this
Crysi says:
I had one of those days yesterday. I texted my hubby at work & told him I needed alone time when he came home. I was only gone 90min, but he was totally relieved when I came home. The girls were hellions for him too. I always told him that my idea of hell was twin 2 year olds. Yep, welcome to my world.
Yesterday was particularly awful because we were up at 6a which left cranky children even if it was their fault we were up. Then, all before 10a, I had cleaned up 3 pee puddles, 2 nasty poops, a flooded bathroom & started tackling the pantry moth invasion. It was just too much.
Jackee says:
Thank you so much for writing this post. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt awful guilt for just wanting to vent about my screaming child. I wish more people would discuss the difficulties of parenthood and not just the rewards. The rest of us would feel a lot more normal!
Cristy says:
how timely… I just got back from a girls weekend and all of us were saying how much we love our kids but holy shit it felt awesome to be away. and we even got to say shit out loud! and one of the best parts of the weekend? walking in the door to smiling faces thrilled to see me and being genuinely thrilled and recharged (despite the lack of sleep)! time away is good for everyone and we as moms should take it and never feel guilty about it. Cheers to you. I hope this post and all of the comments help you to see that you’re normal and should never feel bad about how you feel!
Rachel R. says:
My daughter is 13 months old and in that whining stage. She whines the moment she sees me and it drives me crazy. She doesn’t do this with anyone else (except her father, sometimes). I took to the internet and found that it’s common for children to start whining at this age and I came upon numerous examples of parents posting proof. There is something in us that feels… relieved? Grateful? That we are not alone. To know other parents are facing the same struggles is somehow comforting.
Thanks for being brave enough to post this.
I think we’ve all been there. We’ve all wished for a day off.
You are not alone.
Veronica says:
OMG mine has been a whiner from day 1 and I can’t stand the whining, I would rather poke my own eyes out!!! I can listen to crying no problem but the whining, ugh! Do you know when it will end??? Mine is 16 months and NEVER whines to anyone else only me and only when I am in the room, the minute I leave she stops, drives me crazy!
Beth says:
You are so real and so honest and share so much of yourself. This is why I love your blog. Thanks
Marnie * says:
You are definitely NOT alone in feeling like this. I love my kids, but DUDE, being a stay at home mom with 3 kids, on summer break, is hard. I need to go on vacation, all by myself. I’m really looking forward to the 2 older kids starting school next Monday. My husband does’t understand how I feel, so it makes it hard for me to get time to myself. I tell him all the time, that he gets to go home from his job, but home *is* my job. I never get any breaks. On the very rare times that I do get some time to myself, I get the stupid “Mom guilt” and I can’t really enjoy myself. *Sigh*
I need to learn to take time for myself and enjoy it, so I can be a better wife and a better mom.
Jessica V. says:
Heather – thank you for sharing. What struck me about this post is that you, Mike and Annie are in such a unique situation here because so much of your lives are shared with thousands (zillions?) of people through this blog and, while the overwhelming majority are super supportive of your family, there are those who WILL jump all over you and criticize if you dare to “complain” about the fact that parenting is hard. I can only imagine how tough it must be for you to balance what you want to write with whether or not you are ready to deal with any potential blowback. And that is just plain crappy because it doesn’t matter if you’ve suffered loss/hardship getting to parenthood or not…it is HARD and it is up to us, as parents, to force ourselves to take that break (since we don’t exactly accrue vacay days). It helps us be better parents in the long run. I’m so glad that you shared this post – I hope that it helped you to get it out and that it helps even one person stop and think before they criticize. I also hope that you get a break really soon – you definitely deserve it!
Courtney says:
Thank you Heather…I am a mom of a preemie that was almost lost to us….and a surviving twin. I am afraid of saying how hard things are even now that I have a healthy and happy 3rd child. I feel if I don’t hold them and cherish every second I am not valuing the gift we were given. My girlfriend once said to me, we are human and life gets in the way we were meant to cherish every second or there would be nothing valuable and great about the good times. Having good and bad is what makes the good so memorable.
Lisa says:
Thank you for writing this. I’ve been struggling with the same thing lately. I’ve never really written about parenting struggles on my blog, other than a brief line here and there hidden within a happy post. I’ve always felt the same way you have described, that people would think I didn’t love my children. Parenting is hard, and wanting a break every now and then doesn’t mean you aren’t a good parent and don’t dearly love your children. We just all need a break every now and then.
Pattie says:
Thank you so much for this.
Valarie says:
Thank you so much for this post Heather!
We all deserve breaks and although I completetly inderstand why we allow ourselves to feel guilty, it makes me crazy that we all do it!
I love your blog, your stories about Mike, Annie and Maddie – I honestly just love reading what you write. You are smart, down to earth and just so honest with your words.
Please know that you really make a difference Heather…. thank you!
Jenifer says:
OMG! I just want to hug you right now!! Not in a creepy stalker way but in a friendly you just said what I was thinking way. Guess this will have to do. (((Heather)))
Karen says:
Heather,
My boss recently commented on how nice it must be to bring my 5 year-old to camp at the college where I work. I could feel the tears and had to be honest when I told her I was mourning my drive alone. The 25 minutes in the car each day to and from was all I had and for three weeks, I lost that time. She made a face and I could hear the judgement in her mind.
I also have a 4 month old and between the jealously and just 5 year old normal behavior – I am about done. I have told the hubby that we are going somewhere next year for a couple of days. We have not EVER left the children and gone away. I think we’ve only ever had 2 or 3 date nights in 5 years! It just isn’t healthy and I find myself so tired and so stressed BUT so incredibly blessed to have all we do.
I love my sons more than life itself but I do see myself changing because of the exhaustion and that isn’t good.
Zoë says:
I live in Tennessee, my family is in England and my husband’s closest family is 1hr+ away so we don’t have any help with childcare. It’s all us. We have 3 kids – a soon-to-be 7 yr old, a 3.5 yr old and a 10.5 month old and I am not lying when I say the baby is my easiest child. The 3.5 yr old’s life is threatened everyday (not to her face of course), she is such a handful. And the eldest does not stop talking. As easygoing as the baby is though, I am in such dire need of some me-time that when I found out the baby’s caregiver would be closed for the day, I requested vacation rather than use up my two precious comp days (I worked in the summer when I was officially on vacation so my boss owed me some time). I’m not sharing those days with my kids – they are going to school/daycare. Yes, I love my children with all my heart, but I look forward as much to morning drop-off as I do to the afternoon pick-up.
Glenda says:
Heather,
You are not alone! Every parent needs a break… to refuel…
tonya says:
Amen, sister! Today is the first day of school for my girls, and it couldn’t have come at a better moment. My oldest (she’s 10) and I had a particularly rough day yesterday. In short, I’m not loving this age, and I know it’s not getting any better any time soon. Anyway, after making the mistake of venting to my mom last night, I got an email today telling me how blessed I am to have beautiful, smart, healthy girls and that I need to focus on that. Wow, mom. Thanks a lot. No kidding. Easier said than done. Also, I’m a stay at home mom. So, God forbid I vent about them making me crazy because I’m so LUCKY to be at home with them! Yes, children are a blessing. Yes, staying home (if that’s what a mother wants to do) can be a blessing. Blah, blah. The bottom line is that being a mom is HARD, all kids can be total twits at times, and we are all entitled to breaks and venting without fearing guilt trips or judgment. Now then! I’m stepping off my soap box. Thanks for bringing this up!
Ashley Tinius says:
OMG, Tonya, I get this all the time! If I try to vent to my mom or grandmother, I get the whole, “Your kids are so sweet and funny, you should be glad to be able to stay home with them, surely you don’t mean that” speech. Then I end up feeling guilty and that something must be wrong with me to feel the way I do. It’s so nice to hear that other people are in the same boat!
Barefeet In The Kitchen says:
This is such an important realization, Heather. You will be a better mama, just by realizing that you need to admit when the days are difficult and take a time out for yourself.
Kristin says:
Take a “time-out.” I have 2 boys, (3 1/2 and 2) and for a long time, I was conflicted about going out with friends, to work, etc. I even had second thoughts about date night occasionally. However, I have come to learn (as many have stated above) that it is a GREAT thing to take some time out for yourself. Just last weekend, my boys went camping with their nana and papa and were gone from Fri-Monday. I had NO idea what to do with myself lol. I ended up going on a couple of dates w/ my husband, to the mall with the girls, and had a day where I literally vegged out on the couch. I missed my boys, but it was so nice to have some time off from “mommy mode.” It can do wonders for you, and also, I find it’s nice for the kids to get comfortable trusting others and being ok on their own without mommy and daddy to run to (the trip also included another family with young children). I’ll also add that date nights or just time with your spouse is huge too. I have heard on more than one occasion, men who say, we’ve only been out a couple times since the baby (and their baby is nearly 1 1/2 or 2!). I don’t want to criticize parenting styles, because to each their own, but I will say that I am a fan of taking time to yourselves as a couple. I understand it is not doable for everyone but if you can do it, go for it. Not only is it time away from “parent mode,” but it’s a chance to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company and remember why you’re in love in the first place. I think that happy parents=happy children and you guys will appreciate the time together. Plus, it’s nice for me to go 10 minutes without being climbed on, used as a trampoline, having to break up fights over toys, or tell one of them to stop spraying their brother with the hose
Being a mom is hard work, so take a little break, and enjoy some “you” time =) You deserve it!
Mayme says:
Thank you. I cried tears of relief reading this.
Doreen says:
Thank you so much for writting this. I was in tears reading this. I think any mom can relate but we’re all afraid to voice it. I am very fortunate to stay at home with my girls(ages 4 & 6 months) but there are some days where I wish I had a job to escape to every now and then. Those feelings make me feel so guilty. I love my girls more than anything in this world, but mama NEEDS a break from time to time and us moms shouldn’t feel guilty taking one.
mccgood says:
I have lost 2 children one at 8 weeks and another one at 12 weeks. We really want children. However sometimes I fall asleep during the afternoon on the weekends and I feel guilty that I enjoy that nap. “If I love naps so much then I be crazy to think I want a kid” I know that doesn’t make sense. If I was to one day read a post from you that you had hit the end of your rope I wouldn’t think any less of you. Isn’t it funny how we imagine what people must be saying about us when we say things. I think we are so judging as a society I wonder when that started?
peace and love
Walkingborder (Karen) says:
Dude, you aren’t normal if you don’t have those times that you want to just walk away and catch your breath once in awhile. (Which is hourly some days… just wait til 3.) What matters is wanting to go back once said breath is caught. No matter how much you love/appreciate/fought for your kids, they are still put on this Earth to drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and down the other side. It’s their job. Just like it’s your job to love them anyway, which you clearly do. And sometimes, the best way to show that love is to take a much needed break. Because without it, you’ll go freakin’ insane, and that’s good for no one. Nothing wrong with having enough, as long as enough has a reasonable time limit. Besides, that’s what Grandparents are for and why each child generally has at least 2 sets.
Jennifer says:
Being a parent is exhausting, hard work. Both you and Mike need and deserve to have regular times to yourselves. The consequences for NOT taking the time is a drained, angry parent, and that affects the child(ren). Admitting it’s hard and taking regular breaks is a win-win-win (You, Mike, and Annie!) situation!
Kim says:
Echo.
I had a friendship end over this. My (at the time) child-free friend didn’t like that I had my stressful moments after having 3 children over 4 years and 2 dogs. I remember her asking “What part of this did you not choose yourself?”
I adore my kids. I love my dogs. But I have my moments. I get tired. My (now) 8 yr old is a sh*t-disturber. My 4 yr old likes to sleep with me every. single. night. My 6 yr old is pretty much close to perfect (as perfect as a child can be) but she loves art and my entire dining room looks as if a paper bomb exploded.
My kids are magical, wonderful and I couldn’t imagine life without them. But it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love to be able to go to the bathroom alone for once.
Kelly says:
Being a Momma is hard work. It’s even harder to admit it, and even harder yet to write a blog post about it for everyone to see. Good job Momma.
Take a break every now and then. It’s good for you, and it’s good for Annie.
Mama in the Moon says:
Wow, I just got home from a crazy morning of trying to run errands with my rambunctious 2- and 3-year old sons, (did I mention I am 6 months pregnant?). I am exhausted, irritated, and counting the minutes to nap time.
Every time I raise my voice or sigh in frustration, I feel like the worst mom in the world, so it is always so nice to hear that I am not alone in needing a break every now and then. I think us moms put so much pressure on ourselves to always have a smile on our face, and have it “together”, that we only set ourselves up for a let down. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Being a parent – while amazing and fulfilling – is a tough job, and it’s okay to say “I need a time out!” Thanks for writing this. Sooooo many of us moms out here are thinking it!
MelissaG says:
You are so right. I NEVER imagined that parenting would be this hard. Worth it, of course. I wouldn’t ever change it but it is hard. I hope that you feel you are able to share these struggles now. And I hope nobody is idiotic enough to put you down for it. You’re a great mom…but we all could use a little reprieve once in a while.
Heather Krauel says:
THANK YOU!!!
Jeanie says:
Amen!
sarah says:
This post has very interesting timing for me.
I had hyperemesis all 8 months of my pregnancy. Whenever I dared speak of it, I was slammed, hard. Then the baby came, with a rare disease. 2 months in the Nicu and last week he came home. In only a week, I felt like wow, I already do need a few minutes here, just for me, his care is VERY difficult. Today, he was readmitted to the NICU. So the guilt overwhelmed me for thinking I needed a break, when I was so lucky to have him home finally. But reading your post, it helps. Thank you for being so honest, and writing what you feel. No matter what the circumstances are, we are human. I think lots of us needed the reminder.
Ashley says:
Amen! I think we spend so much time trying to be “perfect’ to fit the world’s view of what perfect should be – size, hair style (ps. I have two girls and it’s styled when I managed to brush it…once a week), social status, as a spouse and mostly as a mom. Someone out there, she’s really even face and nameless, seems to make us feel as though “good parents” think screaming tantrums in Walmart are the way to party and who never mutters “Go to sleep already, Big Brother is on!”. I say she needs to suck it! If we didn’t complain just a little about the moments our kids make us want to pull our hair out, scream louder than they currently are or drive to another city just to go pee and maybe drink a Starbucks alone, then we would appreciate the moments when they hug you so tight you can’t breath or the last tiny “I Love you” before they fall asleep or paint all over the table, er I mean make a card. And I think by complaining just a little about those moments we take faceless mom and shove her in the diaper pail and say to the rest of the mom’s struggle out there too -” Hey! Today sucked, I need a break and that’s just fine!”
So glad you love your girls enough to complain!
Karen says:
Thanks for writing this. Sometimes it irks me that people always paint this rosy fantastic picture of motherhood and it just makes me feel like crap because it doesn’t seem like anyone else is struggling at times besides me. This post, and the comments that followed, has made me realize that perhaps I’m normal!! Thanks!!
Heli says:
I couldn’t agree more with those sentiments! The good news is that you are left with the fond feelings over time. Someone once told me that the days are long but the years are short. The years will suddenly fly by and we won’t be thinking of the poop blow outs or kids defying naps (like mine is right now), rather we will remember the fun experiences. Kinda like childbirth, you block out the bad parts
Sasha says:
Find me someone who hasn’t been woken up to at 3am with the words,”I just threw up in my bed” and have them say they didn’t wish they were on a beach in Cancun sipping a margarita. Parenting is hard and sometimes not fun. Breaks are necessary for everyones sanity.
Sue says:
I just laughed out loud at this one – thanks!!! Only in my house is it vom. As in “Mom, HELP! I just vommed on my bed!”.
jess says:
I’m pretty sure this is called being human. When I would babysit (right up until I was 25, so just until 4 years ago) I would get a call from parents who would say “I need a break, can you do an overnight?” or “I need a break can you do a weekend?” I didn’t think of them as bad parents or oh dear god that means they want to jump off a cliff and never come home. (Okay maybe once I seriously thought the parents were not coming back). I just thought they needed time to themselves, because hi you’re a parent now which means 24/7 kid patrol, no hubby and you time. I LOVED that they had the passion and the love and the spark to want to go away for the weekend. And I loved playing mom for the weekend. (Because I got to give the kids back, lol.)
Plan a weekend or an overnight with Mike, see if Gramma and Bampa want to take Annie (I’m not seeing the word NO coming out of their mouths because they are the AWESOME!) and enjoy each other.
LT says:
I have very often been guilty of letting meltdowns not get the best of me because I feel like I should be so grateful that I have children who are alive and can meltdown. Thank you for sharing. Take care.
Mindy says:
Thank you Heather! You ROCK!!
Iowamom says:
Your honesty is refreshing! You only want the best for your children and you know when you’re not feeling the best or handling things the best. It’s so normal to need to step back and take time for you. I told my beautiful, lovely, and intelligent three children today that I needed some time with no noise. They’re 11, 10, and 7 and they understood, thankfully.
Katie says:
You have every right to these feelings – anyone who thinks that a parent should love every moment has never been a parent themselves – it’s a rewarding, but tough job. There is a difference between enjoying every second we spend with our daughters, and being grateful for every second – you’re doing a wonderful job.
Elaine says:
We can’t like everyone all the time, even our own kids. And you made a good point when you said, no matter the circumstances, we all still need breaks here and there. I’m glad you’re now able to admit it. It’s healthy.
Caroline says:
Thanks for this!!! I have been feeling like I need a day to lie in my bed, watch girlie movies and not listen to whining, screaming, etc. Maybe a day to use the bathroom without a kid sitting on my lap? Then I feel guilty! Like God will get me for feeling that way and take one of them. Things could be worse I quickly tell myself! But man, I really do feel that way. Just the other night, I had a baby screaming his brains out and a little girl yelling, ‘Mommy hold me, Mommy hold me’, all while trying to cook, pack lunches for the next day etc. I looked at my husband and said, “I just want you to know, I am in my own personal hell right now!”. GASP!!! Who says that?!?! I obviously don’t always feel that way. Thanks for reminding us it’s ok to feel this way sometimes:)
Leigh Elliott says:
SO true Heather!!!!!! It took my husband and I six years to get pregnant with our daughter. (5 IVF’s). It is hard for me to feel comfortable complaining sometimes because I feel like I should always be so grateful and “cherish” these times…..I do cherish a lot of them, but man oh MAN do I get what you are saying. I feel the same way!
SUPAHMAMA says:
Thank you SO MUCH for this. I have felt beaten down by an old friend of mine who literally rubs it in my face at how “perfect” her imperfect world is because HER CHILDREN ARE GOD’S GIFT TO HUMANITY. Nothing involving the cleaning up of shit and getting whacked in the face amidst the tantrum to end all tantrums is gratifying. Children are blessings, yes, but let’s not sugar coat it so everyone else feels unworthy mkay?
And pssst, I never once thought your children were perfect. They are beautiful, funny and HUMAN… just like you.
Leslie K says:
I have such a big smile on my face after reading this and all the comments…. it’s so nice to know I’m not the only one. :o)
There are 8 years between our boys due to 6 years of secondary infertility and multiple miscarriages. This morning I prayed and thanked God for my children and asked Him to help me to treat them with kindness and love even when I am frustrated.
Then tonight… I YELLED at my 7 year old, “For the LOVE OF GOD, would you PLEASE JUST STOP TALKING for a few minutes??!!” Then I proceeded to mutter curse words under my breath after I huffed out of the room. :o)
sheri says:
I don’t believe there is a mom out there that cannot relate to what you just said. I tell my husband all the time that he gets to drive away from his job every day. I don’t. That’s hard. It took us 5 long years to have children and getting breaks is rare. I too feel so guilty wanting that. I haven’t had a night off ,ever. We don’t have anyone to watch them and haven’t found anyone to babysit. It is good that you realize its ok to need breaks because believe me, your marriage and relationship with your kid will suffer if you don’t recharge every now and then.
Amy says:
Completely normal reaction, don’t beat yourself up!
I remember putting son (4 months?) in his swing chair by the front door with a note just before hubby got home from work.
“Please take care of Me as my Mommy REALLY needs a break!”
I don’t remember getting out but it did open up the lines of communication that yes, sometimes Mommy DOES need a break!
Amy says:
Posting as a mom of teens. Trust me. With every year comes a new level of independence on their part. Do what you can to encourage it. ( Introduce daily chores from the get go! Kind of kicking myself on that one
The early years are HARD. You are there for them 24/7. I wish I would have eked out an hour every day for ME much earlier than I did. Talk to Mike about it and see what you can come up with together?
After the girls were born and all were somewhat reliable on going to bed at 7.30 I began to see some hope Hoping you find some time for you very soon. SO vital…
GingerB says:
Ok dear, I will confess a mommy” failure” over here since I haven’t the guts to do it at my own blog. I don’t want more kids. I have two, one was early but is fine, one has a metabolic disorder and post stroke CP but is also extraordinarily fine and dandy. But no more! I got this IUD for a reason! I have a full time job and two kids and that is enough. So when my IUD fails me and I have a “chemical pregnancy” that doesn’t take and I feel a twinge of “oh, there could have been another one for me” but mostly I just feel gratefulness that I am not having another one – why do I feel so guilty about all of my friends who struggle with fertility issues? I don’t want to write the posts that are in my head about what is going on because I don’t want to be insensitive to all those who struggle to get even a single child to love, and I don’t want to admit to myself and to others that I don’t want to take on any more parenting. I have a boatload of parenting – much of it wonderful but some of it a$$-kickingly difficult. I don’t want any more! Can this be our little secret, internet? I am not a bottomless well of mommy selflessness.
Heather and friends – thanks for helping me out with this!
Ashley says:
I just…cried my eyes out for a minute there. Thank you so much for writing this, Heather. I’ve spent the last month on the edge of sanity, resisting the very strong urge to just flee my house and run screaming down the street and never come back. I got divorced last year and my ex has been…less than awesome at taking the kids. Obviously I need to just suck it up, get a babysitter, and take the night off. It’s just so damn hard though.
Tracy says:
You never cease to amaze and impress this perfect stranger with your honesty and bravery. Kudos!
Rumour Miller says:
So true. People who say that parenting is nothing but swingsets and lollipops are lying. We all have days or moments when we just need a break. I don’t think parenting gets easier, either. It just gets “different”. There are different needs to fulfil as they grow.
Gail says:
Thank you for writing this. Makes me realize that you are human:)
Audra says:
One of the reasons why I love reading your blog is because you are so wonderfully honest. I can appreciate needing a break. Even more, I can appreciate hesitating to write about needing a break because of guilt over how that will appear to others. Sometimes when I write a snarky status update about my girls on FB I wonder if I’ve offended anyone who didn’t/wasn’t able to/ have any/as many children as they would have liked.
Rachael says:
I have had breaks from the time my babies were only a couple weeks old. I would go crazy without them, and they make me a better mother.
Aubrey says:
I too have been feeling guilty for needing a break. I am a single, stay at home mom of 4. I can feel myself wearing thin, the frustration starting to seep out. I usually lock myself in my room for awhile but that isn’t working anymore. It has been months since I had a mommy only day. I need a vacation, just me, no kids. And I am still feeling really guilty saying that out loud even though I know it is alright to admit.
Ray says:
Good for you for admitting this to yourself, and in turn allowing others to realize it for themselves. We all know how much you LOVE your girls. An insane amount!
I just hope you get the much-deserved time off that you need, from time to time. Because you deserve it.