I went on anti-anxiety medication when Maddie was ten months old. After everything she’d gone through in the NICU, I had pretty major post-partum anxiety. I woke up one day and realized I didn’t need to live my life with crippling anxiety, and I went on a medication to help even me out. I was able to go off it about four months later, and it was a really simple process. I went BACK on anti-anxiety meds after Annabel was born. I was in therapy and my doctors had actually been recommending it for a few months, but I resisted until I was no longer pregnant.
After Annabel was out, my anxiety was much worse than it was the first time around. My therapists played with my doses, and eventually put me on a second medication to compliment the first. The two medicines worked well together and really helped me feel like I was on even ground, and even though I would still have anxiety, it was a million times more manageable.
A few months ago, I realized I’d been on the meds for fifteen months. They were a big help, but I wanted to see if I could live without them. And, the doses were at levels that aren’t healthy for extended use or pregnancy (and no, I’m NOT pregnant, but would maybe like to be again at some point some day). So my doctors and I discussed the process to wean off my anxiety medication.
For the last eight weeks, I’ve been slowly weaning off the meds, and holy. crap. It has been so hard. I just wasn’t prepared for the side effects of weaning off medication I’d been on for so long – especially since I’d stopped taking it in the past with zero side effects. I felt like I was going to scratch my skin off. Then I felt like my brain was literally bouncing around in my skull. I’d be achy one day, and clumsy-loose the next. It was a really bizarre, uncomfortable experience.
In retrospect, stopping anxiety medication RIGHT BEFORE BUYING A HOUSE AND MOVING was a really stupid idea. I feel bad for Mike, I was not an easy person to be around. I was even more emotional than usual. My patience (not one of my strongest personality traits in the best of circumstances), was at an all-time low. But, Mike pointed out, we made it through escrow and the move, and I didn’t kill anyone or make them kill me! As Annie would say, “ahsooo!” (awesome).
One of my friends asked me if I thought this was sustainable…and I don’t know. I’d really like it to be. However, I’m realistic and I’m not going to set myself up for failure. I think that I can function on much lower doses than I WAS on, but right now my goal is to go without. Through all of my therapy and interactions with others, it’s solidified my belief that it’s OK to use medication. So many people have tried to make me feel bad about it, and that’s just absurd. If you can get through your whole life without needing a little extra help sometimes, that is amazing and good for you! I’m not one of them. I’m certainly not going to feel bad about that – and neither should anyone else.
Leah says:
Hope it continues to go well for you. People who have opinions on other’s looking after themselves, rather than what, failing to get the help they need until something tragic happens like an addiction or suicide or even a life wasted in turmoil, those people need a reality check.
Sasha says:
You have been through SO much in the past few years. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for needing a little help. Maybe those people are just afraid to admit that they could use some help,too. You are so incredibly strong,screw what negative things anyone has to say. Do what works for you and your family. For every one negative person,you have a thousand people in your corner routing for you.
Cinthia says:
People are lame…. Meds save lives, end of story. You rock on with your rad self, we trust your judgment.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Good for you! On all counts.
edenland says:
Ok I’m just gonna come out and say it ….
I don’t think Annie is saying “Awesome” … pretty sure she’s saying “ASSHOLE.”
Just sayin, Heather.
I have been unmedicated for a while now. It’s like a fucking joke – a laugh I have to myself. I am UNMEDICATED isn’t that RIOT! Life is so goddamn dumb and ridiculous and outrageously precious.
Whatever gets you through, sweet pea.
XXOO
Audra says:
It is so frustrating to me that in 2011 there are still people who criticize others for taking meds for anxiety, depression, etc… Whether or not someone would benefit from meds is based on their BRAIN CHEMISTRY for crying out loud. No one would begrudge a diabetic insulin, would they? It’s the same thing.
Jennifer says:
I can really relate. I just did my final taper of lexapro and it was HARD. I have been writing about it on my blog, trying to keep myself in check. I did it slowly, and had the guidance of a doctor while doing it, but still, it kinda sucked. I was fine at first. Then I went through a period of feeling rage and anger. Then I was fine. Then sadness and ennui (yes, ennui. How very first-world of me!) I am beginning to feel stable/normal again.But in the end I really want to try this life thing unmedicated. And like you, I reserve the right to medicate again, damn what anyone thinks, if I feel myself slipping. It is not a sign of weakness to take pills, it is a sign of our brilliance and optimism, that we KNOW life can be better with a little help from medicine. Oh, and for the record, I kept waiting for the best time to wean too, and here really never is one. I did it during a “good time” and turns out, it wasn’t a good time. Things always come up! Though I AM impressed that you went through a closing!
Gemini-Girl says:
Meds changed my life.. and my family’s.
do whats best for you.
love you.
Kim says:
I had a horrible time coming off anti-anxiety mess. After my children were born 3 months early, I needed a very high dose because I had PTSD from all the trauma. 3 years later I still have not lowered the dose and I probably never will. I know it’s what I need to live comfortably and I’m ok with that.
heather says:
I’ve managed to avoid anxiety meds so far, though in hindsight I should have been on them right after Miss D was born. I had horrible post partum anxiety. Not sure if it was from the actual birth, the fact that my husband was so abusive or if I’ve always had anxiety issues.
I find mine is so much worse in those few days before my period now, but if I remind myself that this is what happens every month it does help. I also make sure I take my vitamin D and my bcomplex because they both relate heavily to anxiety disorders. Not a ‘cure’ by any stretch, but so far I’ve managed to keep meds at bay. I expect it will change at some point in the future though.
Glad you survived the weaning phase! I hear it can be incredibly difficult depending on the meds, and here is to a long phase without! I’ll keep my everything crossed for you
Amélie says:
My dad is still on them, 30 years after my brother was born. My mother takes them occasionally when he has major health worries. I’m greatful my parents take them, it makes their and our we worried less as children about what was happening.
You just have to find out what works best for you.
Elle says:
I had a pretty normal pregnancy (except for being sick throughout most of my pregnancy) with my now 2 year old daughter but had an awful experience when it came to labor and delivery as well as afterwards because my little girl was in the NICU for 3 weeks because of low blood sugar and I was a mess and absolutely terrified.
My anxiety turned into depression last fall but my primary doctor refused to put me on anything. He’s very much into the natural lifestyle and while I try to be too, I knew that crying at the drop of a hat and not wanting to get out of bed wasn’t normal. I felt like I tried everything out there that didn’t involve medication but I just got worse and he still told me he wouldn’t help.
After several more months I found someone who did, although I still have the other guy as my primary doctor but I hope it’s not for much longer.
I know antidepressents and anti-anxiety meds aren’t some magic pill and I still feel like I’m on a rollercoaster ride of emotions after dealing with Postpartum PTSD but I know the meds are helping and it would have been nice if it didn’t take so long to get the help I needed and begged for because I feel like I’ve missed out on so much since my daughter was born over 2 years ago.
What I wanted to say in my own long winded way was that I know how hard things can be without medicaion and I wish you the best. Just make sure Mike’s diet coke stash is plentiful and I’m sure hell be a happy camper throughout this transition. xx
Kristin says:
I think you have an extremely healthy outlook about adjusting your chemistry.
It has always pissed me off that people view you as week if you need help to conquer a mental health issue. I wish more people had the outlook you have.
Jessica says:
Way to go on wanted to stop taking the meds. You and Mike make adorable babies, so I could see why you might want another. Do not let anyone else’s opinions make a difference in your medication though. Until they have suffered from anxiety or depression or anything else, they will never understand what it is like. I went through a severe depression in college and never want to go back to that. If a little pill can make that happen for me, I would not hesitate to go back to taking it. Good luck lady!
AmazingGreis says:
You MUST do what is good for you and your family. I’m behind you and your non-medicated self. I’m behind you and your medicated self. You are still you either way. XOXO
Becca says:
I COMPLETELY understand. When I went off my antidepressenants it was an intensly difficult experience. I know the brain bouncing you speak of. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that.
Also, no one.. NO ONE should make you feel less than for taking medication. It is a personal decision and not one open for judgement. Ever. Period.
gina says:
This is the second time I have to withdraw from my anti depressent meds that to me saved my life due to pregnancy.
Let me just say it is the worst thing ever. I feel so dizzy all the time but my husband made a joke and said people pay good money to feel dizzy.
Good Luck in which ever you should choose.
Sarah - { rad: renovations are dirty } says:
You know, I absolutely hate the discrimination against anti-anxiety/depressant medications. People would never berate a Type 1 diabetic who has to inject insulin… it should be the same for mental health issues. Good for you for doing what you believe is best.
I have chronic pain and was on Lyrica a few years ago.. my doctor said I could stop it without tapering (not true!) and I was in withdrawal hell for 1 month. I felt like a drug addict: vivid, horrifying dreams, itchy and crawly feeling skin, stomach upset, anxiety, severe panic during the night time, etc. I understand the horrors of withdrawals and hope you’ll be feeling better soon! Take care
Kayt says:
I’ve been on antidepressants for six months. I should have been on them for a couple of years by now, but I was so afraid of them. I can honestly say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made as a mother, wife, employee, and person! Our son will be three in December, and we’re talking about having another one. However, my doctor said to absolutely not get pregnant while taking Celexa, so we’re discussing the pros and cons of weaning off them in the near future.
Do what’s right for you, and your family, and be happy. Mike, Annabel, and most of all, YOU deserve it.
Shannon says:
I’m too terrified of what will happen if I ever go off my meds, so I think I’m a lifer. But due to my lifer status, I had to decide not to have another baby.
Susan/@Toastgal says:
I am on a daily dose of anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication too. I have Xanax as a backup on those days when I still get an anxiety attack. My medication has helped me function on a much more even tone…like I used to be…but still not 100% like I used to be. I also recently started therapy. It’s helped me more than I could have imagined!
I had always been considered the Strong One in the family. Everyone leaned on me. That alone was very stressful. Then within a five year period I had two diseases that had doctors telling me that I was dying. Actually dying. I recovered from both but the anxiety and the depression and PTSD were what was left over.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I understand. I know that always comforts me when I hear that from someone. I hope it comforts you too.
Kim Wencl says:
Bravo for you Heather! And don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you are choosing to feel better. I went on meds around the 5 yr anniversary of my daughter’s death, that was three years ago, I went off of them for a bit, but the anxiety returned so I went back on again and plan to stay on them indefinitely.
Until someone has walked in our shoes (and I hope they never do) they have no right to comment on our choices.
Adrianne says:
Who on earth would try to make you feel bad for taking anti-anxiety meds?! That’s ridiculous.
And I hear you on the weaning off bit. It’s rough. I had been on Zoloft on and off for a couple of YEARS when I got pregnant. Called the doctor to tell him that I didn’t want to be on while pregnant and he said to stop taking it. Cold turkey. I knew better, but was so worried (duh!) about it harming the baby that I did it. The withdrawal effects combined with newly pregnant crappiness was almost more than I could take. It sucked bad, but now I’m happy that I’m off it because I’ve been pretty okay. Just hoping having a newborn for the first time doesn’t cause so much stress that I have to get back on….because I never want to have to go off of it again. Misery, I tell you!
Nancy Smego says:
Heather, I couldn’t agree with you more. Why be miserable if medication can help? That’s just plain ridiculous. I have had that argument with people for years. If taking a zoloft every morning makes me a human being, then I will take a zoloft every morning! I admire you for lowering your dosage or going off if you are going to get pregnant, but when you’re not pregnant, you almost owe it to your family (and YOURSELF) to be EVEN.
tena says:
from someone that has been off of them for almost a year and a half (pregnant and nursing)and counting the days where I can get back on them, I IMPLORE you to take advantage of them when you can because MYGODIFEELTWITCHYANDCANTBREATHE way too much and there is no way to feel that way if you can help it.
Heather says:
People don’t take insulin because they “need a little help”; they take it because they need it. Same with depression/anxiety/whathaveyou meds. Taking medicine isn’t a crutch, it’s sometimes WHAT YOU NEED. Anyone giving you crap about that should toss their judgements towards people who take medicine to regulate blood pressure or ease their arthritis, cause they must be weak if they can’t function without those pills, right? “Just snap out it, grandma and be healthy!”
Christina says:
I have no idea what this feels like. I’ve always had a really good grip on my emotions, even through horrible shit. I can pull them out of me like a magician unraveling his long rope of handkerchief. I can set them aside when making decisions, in emergencies or when I don’t want someone to know what I’m feeling. I take that for granted sometimes. My own ignorance to others’ emotional problems really helps me remind myself that I don’t know everything and helps me remind myself that when others’ can’t relate to me, it’s not because they don’t care…. it’s that they just can’t. Thanks for writing about this. I have a friend who needs to realize this and consider medication for herself. My mother self-medicates with enough pain meds to kill a horse when anxiety and depression are her real problems. The more people talk about this, the more others’ who need it will seek help.
Cara says:
I know the feeling. I’ve finally come to accept that I will most likely be in anti-anxiety meds for the rest of my life. After trying different drugs and hating them, weaning off and going through withdrawals, I’ve finally found a degree of satisfaction with Buspar.
As much as I’d love to not have to take it, I know that I can’t live a ‘normal’ and ‘happy’ life without it.
You do what you need to do, whatever is best for you and your family. If you can live without them, that’s great. If you can’t, that’s okay too.
Cierra says:
The hardest part about medication for me is the stigma I’m 21 and went to college and my emotional world fell apart. I was stubborn and didn’t get help when I should. I wasted two years of my life being in a fog. It’s hard to see my peers and friends starting their senior year or graduating. I went from a pre med student at UT Austin to starting from scratch at a community college. It’s hard to get over the anger of time lost and the fact that I may need this my whole life and regret over the damage done.
Walkingborder (Karen) says:
Uh, you lost a kid. And ALL you needed help with was anxiety? That’s unreal. And don’t let anyone tell you being on those meds was wrong. Having to bury your child, at such a young age at that, is what’s wrong!
susanmig says:
i am one of the ones who can not be unmedicated. i’ve tried. thought, “hey, i feel pretty good! i can DO THIS!!”. um, not so much. depression and ADD hit me when i was around a freshman in high school. however, no one in my family or circle recognized it as such. just thought susan was “emotional” and “lazy”. i was finally diagnosed with depression in my late 20’s. yay!! the diagnosis of ADD came much later…late 40’s. being diagnosed and treated for both of these common illnesses has done wonders for me. the people who judge can kiss my ass. they haven’t walked in my shoes or lived in my head. i’m NOT a pill-popper. in fact, i rarely take a pain pill when i’m hurting. i just had a minor surgery and was afraid to take the rx-meds because i was fearful of becoming addicted. some people don’t realize how difficult it is to reach out and admit to having a problem…especially a “mental illness”. don’t you love saying that, LOL! i wish the label came with the padded room sometimes, i could use it….i have a 17 year old boy and a soon-to-be 15 year old girl, gah!! but, would the padded room be for me OR for them???
anyhow, hang in there and good luck with the weaning. been there, done that and it is a mind f@#k!
peace,
susan
Bella says:
Anti-depressants saved my life. Like, literally. I was on Zoloft after my daughter was born because at 9 months post partum I had a horrific breakdown. I have been on one or the other since thenm 4 years now. Through pregnancy with my son, and nursing. But it always made me feel totally zombie like. So, so tired.
Then I went to a nephrologist after I had Sam. My bp was erratic, up to 170/110, down to normal. I was a stroke waiting to happen. She put me on Prozac and bam. BP level out to normal and has been that way since. Those meds are no diff than insulin or chemo. If you need it, you need it. Period.
Anyone who says anything about your need for meds is a moron. I applaud your efforts in getting off of them. You are a rockstar.
TracyKM says:
So many people who slam anxiety/depression meds just use “an acceptable” method to “try” to cope…smoking, alcohol, knitting, obsessive exercise…
I’d just like to mention Omega 3 supplements. There are some geared to “emotional health”. Look at the ratios on that bottle, then buy a cheaper brand with the specific designation but with similar ratios. Omega 3 supplements help me from becoming a witch with a capital b.
Jeannine says:
i wish there wasnt a perceived stigma with medication for depression or anxiety. But honestly i think the people who have a problem with it have their own insecurities in some fashion. How’s it different than taking insulin or BP meds? Its not. If you need it, you need it, so what.
I have three kids and ive been on ADs during all three pregnancies. And other than the occasional tantrums, i’m pretty convinced my kids turned out just perfect. I’m pretty sure that a happy mom with patience and low irritability and a relatively happy & calm demeanor – and some meds in the blood – is much better than the opposite.
xoxo
Heather says:
There will always be judgers when it comes to medication and those who suggest “natural” alternatives like diet and exercise. But sometimes, people, even that’s not enough.
I’ve been on and off anxiety meds for a few years to help me cope with stress and mild depression. The last time I went on them, I was working at a job that made me so unhappy and stressed me out so much that I began acting just batshit crazy.
Now that my situation is better, I’ve weaned off them over the last several weeks. It’s going okay, but readjustment is hard. I’m feeling things again more intensely than I did before (which means a LOT of crying), but so far, the other bad feeling have stayed at bay.
Just do what you need and what you think is right for you. You’ve been through so much, I can’t even imagine.
Sarah kate says:
It sucks, it truly does. Well done buddy.
MF says:
Heather, I would LOVE for you to write a detailed post on withdrawal, unless this is as far as you want to go into it (which of course is okay). There are so many people, even in the medical community, that think benzo withdrawal doesn’t exist and that if it takes you more than 2 weeks to get off neatly a decade’s worth of them (due to the severe withdrawal) then you must’ve misused them. So ridiculous! It’s like no it’s a problem without the GABA receivers and a shock to the central nervous system you idiots! Anyway, Im sure I’m not the only person in withdrawal who would love to have you give more of a voice so they show people “see if not the only one & this is real. withdrawal is real” thanks heather & I hope you are back to your old self soon. Some things I learned: stay away from coffee, sugar (sucks I know), quinolones antibiotics (if you google you’ll see why). Take care & great post
Glenda says:
You have to do what is best for you and your family.
People will judge…but they are not walking in your shoes.
They are the ones with the bigger issues.
Great post!
Trisha says:
I have had to use anti-depressants several times throughout my life. Sometimes just talking to someone isn’t enough. Sometimes meds aren’t for everyone.
Ultimately we all have to do what is best for us and our families and the rest is just useless opinions that won’t make us or break us.
All those Judgy Judgerson’s with their high and mighty pointy fingers have probably never experienced depression or anxiety or something tragic in their perfect little glass houses.
I’m proud that I was able to admit I was struggling and that I got the help I needed and you should be too!
Penbleth says:
Best wishes with weaning of your medication. Make sure you take your doctor’s advice and keep well.
Alivia says:
I have been on my meds going on Five years now. I don’t know if I will ever be ready to go off of them. But that’s okay. And it is okay for you to do what you feel is best for you. People who haven’t been through what you or I have been through have no right to judge. Good luck to you and I hope it all works out for you.
Alivia
Abigail @ Skywaitress says:
Take care of yourself in whatever way you feel is best. On medication or off you are an incredible person.
Molly says:
There’s nothing good or bad about medication, it’s up to you to decide. As someone who also struggles with anxiety, I’d just really really recommend continuing with talk therapy and the forms of self-care that have so greatly improved my life: yoga, meditation, exercise, and massage. I know that sounds cliche, but seriously, these are the building blocks of me being able to handle stress and keeping it from getting out of control. I wish doctors prescribed them, and frankly I don’t know why they don’t. I’d also recommend acupuncture. (I go to one yoga class/week; start every day with some quick meditation/stretching; ride my bike to a pilates class twice a week; and get a massage once a month. that’s it, and pretty doable. i was in talk therapy twice a week for two years until last year and I’ve never felt better.)
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
I have anxiety issues – they can be pretty nasty at times. Horrible PPD. Really bad panic attacks, etc. With what you have been through in the last few years, I think you are amazing to just need a little help in the meds department now and then. I have had some issues, but nothing, nothing in comparison, and man, there are days when I wish I would let myself call someone and do something about the panic. I ended up in the ER, and they gave me a prescription, but I never filled it. Now I am pregnant with twins, and really thinking I may need something if the PPD is as bad as it was last time – or worse. It has gotten worse with each subsequent birth.
You are living, Heather, and seem to be doing a pretty good job of it. You’ll never get over what happened to sweet Maddie, but if you need a little help once in a while to be a present mama to your little Annabel – then I say you are doing the best thing you can do – take care of you, so you can take care of your family. Good for you!
Cecilia @ Parenting Controversy says:
Half the moms I know have been on anti-anxiety medication at some point. And judging by the comments above, so have many, many other moms. It doesn’t really seem so taboo any more. Good luck to you with the weaning though, I hope it all goes smoothly for you.
Jill Sarven says:
Heather….i trully hope you read my email or post…YOU have nothing to be ashamed of for your medications…i myself have been a long time sufferer of Anxiety and at one point depression with anxiety and also insomnia for 3 months my kids were young at the time 5 and 8 ..not toddlers or babies but enough for them to remember when mommy was sad and cried alot…what happened was i lost both my grandpas months apart, a dear young friend to leukemia, and then i was given my own health scare which through me into a state of total dismay….it was all just too much …granted not in comparison to your situation with Maddie..but i had it in me that i was going to die and that my kids would be without me…it was soo horrible….i never wanted to go through that again..and off to docs and pschy and such…which i did not want to do either..Medicine for me..no way i was way above that..well needless to say i got my dads genes with alittle bit of OCD to boot…i have been doing well for so many years 14 in fact and then our oldest graduated and went off to college and then now graduated college and moved an 1 1/2 away and my daughter also graduated but still with us at home but we too bought a house out in the country and have been working non stop and also our closing on our other home was a nite mare so yes Jill is back on Zoloft and Xanax…just a bit to get by but keep me on an even kill…its OKAY i would love to email with you I feel your pain in withdrawal etc…life is too short to have to deal with anxiety thats for sure…and i love to laugh and smile to much to be depressed…I myself am a preschool teacher…i LOVE life, children , family ……i don’t have time for this …isn’t that how you feeel…well hug Anabel they grow up too quick i found and move away but its going to be okay..cause i have my life to live too and they will always be there for me…take care Jill
Susan says:
Coming as a long time lurker because this is an issue dear to my heart. Do not fret for one moment if it turns out that medication is appropriate for the long run. This is a physical illness like asthma or cancer. You wouldn’t tell somebody who has life threatening asthma to just get over it and stop taking medication. This is the same thing. It is smart to test the waters with medical agreement and monitoring before deciding that it is a long-term medical need. However, if that reveals a need, then take it. It’s for your good and your child’s good. A child with an ill, unmedicated parent is not better off. Lots of women have healthy babies with appropriate monitoring on psychiatric medications. It’s just a matter of figuring out the risk-benefit balance that’s right for you.
dysfunctional mom says:
People are going to have something to say no matter what you do. You just take care of yourself.
Lisa says:
Oh, I so feel your pain. I was on 2 complimentary depression meds and quit cold turkey… yup, you read right… cold turkey about 6 weeks ago. In hindsight, not a great idea. But what’s done is done. I was a wreck. Aches. Pains. Nausea. Brain shocks. Anger. I remember hearing from my doc I might become suicidal… um nope. But all that other stuff ten-fold. Oh and I got my restless leg syndrome back with a vengeance so I basically wasn’t sleeping at night.
It’s great to wean off them, but as others have said, there is no shame. You are a wonderful person!
erica @ expatriababy says:
Thank you thank you thank you for writing this.
The more people like you, with public platforms, who can get the word out about mental health – it’s symptoms, effects, and treatments – the more the topic will become destigmatized, and the more awareness will be raised.
I am a new mother to a daughter who is 15 months old. I was a typical type-A crunchy granola pregnant lady, reading everything I could get my hands on. I was fully informed about PPD, but not, for some reason, about post partum anxiety. And now, looking back on the first year or so of my daughter’s life, I realized that I suffered immensely form anxiety. It was crippling. But I thought it was normal. Mums worry about their kids. It’s their job. I wasn’t crying every day, therefore couldn’t be depressed, right? Yet, I was walking around in a fog, needing to check my daughter every 7 min to make sure she was breathing, sleeping terribly, and carrying a sense of impending doom.
Anyway, my point is, that even though I was really well informed, there was more I needed to know. I suffered needlessly. Had I read something like this 12 months ago, maybe things would have been different.
However, I’m happy to know that these words, I”m sure, have helped other woman.
Here’s wishing you health, mental and physical, whatever form it takes, either medicated or not.
Leigh Elliott says:
I have been on anti-anxiety medication for years. I actually have no desire to go off of them. I feel “normal” when I am on them, and much too “raw” and scary when I am off of them. I fully support meds and am grateful they are available.
Alicia says:
I have no idea why anyone would try to make you feel bad about meds. I mean, NOBODY should feel bad about taking advantage of something that helps them function, least of all YOU. I mean, come on. You’ve survived the absolute worst thing that can happen to a human being. I’ve taken some crap for taking anti-depressants/anti-anxieties, and I always just want to be like, “YOU LIVE IN MY BRAIN AND SEE WHAT YOU THINK.” Ugh.
Jenny says:
I don’t know why anyone would judge you for the meds. Opinions… Everyone has one. If the comments here are any indication, the medicated are the majority. I’m glad to hear that you’re working with a physician.
Best wishes for your peace, well-being and happiness.
kris (lower case) says:
anyone that would try to make you feel bad about taking medication is a moron. take it if you need it and stop when you don’t need it.
amourningmom says:
Thank you for sharing and writing about this. I am glad you are unmedicated and that if you need it you will go back on it. Take care.
Ally says:
I was always anxious but had horrible postpartum anxiety. I went on paxil and it helped so much.
I weaned off for pregnancy and went back on after my daughter was born 8 1/2 years ago. I am not going off; I am a better mom on it. If I hadn’t been taking them when my husband became critically ill 2 years ago I would have been worthless. Don’t tell your friends if they are not supportive , they don’t need to know. You have been through such trauma. Surround yourself with supportive friends and do what you need to do to find joy in life…
Jill Sarven says:
Any other moms out there 45 or older doing the pre menapausal anxiety stuff it has to be…cause i have been fine until last summer and now this year and summer and turned 45 ugh HELP any advice …..Jill bcsjms@yahoo.com
my email
Giselle says:
Heather, you are strong and an inspiration. I have been on anxiety meds for.. gosh, three years almost and I’m not sorry and I’m not ashamed. I spent a large portion of my life worrying needlessly and feeling sick to my stomach. And finally when something big happened at work and I went into a depression and just unlivable state, my boyfriend insisted I go see someone. I will never be able to repay him for that because it gave me my life back. I am so happy now and I hope that other people have the courage to get help when they need it because it’s really a wonderful thing.
Rebecca says:
I am in the process of weaning off anti-anxiety medication and it has been awful. I feel like half a mom, half a wife and half of myself. It really reminds me of the process of starting them, which was equally awful. There is a reason it takes a while to get the right dose I guess.
If you have any tips for dealing with myself as I wean, I would appreciate it.
statia says:
Rebecca, try L-theanine and fish oil. I’ve had great results with both. Helps with the ups and downs, and the brain zaps.
statia says:
I’m so there. I’ve had anxiety pretty much my whole life and recently, I found out, depression (I didn’t FEEL depressed, who knew?) I’ve been trying to find the right dosage and have been tweaking meds for the past four or five months (I’ve done the whole, eff meds, I hate them and I’m never taking them, thing, but it didn’t help anyone). I’ve stopped pretending to be “normal” and just learned to deal with the fact that I’m crazy, and I embrace it and just make it a part of who I am.
Libby says:
I explain it to people this way: If I had one leg shorter than the other, you wouldn’t think anything if I had a special shoe made. I don’t HAVE to have the shoe- but without it my quality of life is much lower and I risk other side effects such as hip issues. However, the special shoe evens everything out and improves my quality of life. Meds are the same way.
Sarahviz says:
Thank you for this. I needed to read this right now. I had been on an antidepressant for postpartum since the birth of my third son…he is now 6. I stopped cold turkey in March this year after I got a stomach bug (I do NOT recommend either – the bug or the quitting cold turkey). But I made it through. But 6 months later, I began struggling. BAD. Constant depression. This month of August was the worst. Needless to say, I’m back on my Celexa and am having a hard time with the fact that I probably need to be on it forever.
Cheryl says:
One thing that they don’t tell you is the side effects in trying to get off of those things. My husband was on them and in trying to get off he was getting brain zaps and everything else. I found a book in how to wean off them with fewer sided effects. Have to do it very gradually, half doses of half doses. Took him over 2 months to get off of them cleanly with minimal side effects. The best thing though was that the book helped him realize that he wasn’t crazy and that the side effects were real.
Joseph Glenmullen (Author)
The Antidepressant Solution: A Step-by-Step Guide to Safely Overcoming Antidepressant Withdrawal, Dependence, and “Addiction”
MJ says:
Holy crap, Heather. I just had almost that exact experience 3 weeks ago. I, also, have an amazing doctor, and am now getting help. And feeling just a little better. I’m now hopeful for the future.
Donna Y says:
Thank you for sharing this. I just went on anti-depressants a week and a half ago and have been struggling with how I feel about being on them. Reading the post comments helped, too! You have awesome readers.
Savannah says:
I’m currently weaning myself off Effexor and am going really really slowly, like decreasing a tiny amount every month. May seem a bit extreme, but this med is pretty notorious for exceptionally bad withdrawL effects.
I’ve found that now that I’ve reduced, the slightest change in when I take my daily dose can be felt. If I take it an hour later than normal, I’ll feel it that day. It was never that sensitive before when I was in a full dose, but I’m dealing with it one day at a time.
I’m seeing an incredible Mindfullness-based therapist who has taught me so much about dealig with anxiety and emotions. It’s all about feelig all of our emotions and accepting them fully–instead of “pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps”. It’s, of course, more involved, but having her in my life has been priceless.