I have a confession. I’m 29 years old, and I still sleep with a teddy bear.

This is Theodora.


This is her fresh out of the wash. She’s been loved HARD.

I’ve had Theodora for close to 23 years now. I think. I can’t remember exactly when I got her. My parents went on vacation to Colorado, and they came back with a teddy bear for me. I’m not sure WHY Theodora became my favorite, but she rarely left my side when I was little.

She’s made every move with me, and I can’t fall asleep until I have her in just the right nook in my arm. When I was on home bed rest, she helped support my aching belly. I like to think that she was helping me hold up Madeline.

Theodora is the one toy I don’t let Rigby or Madeline near. So of course she is the one toy they desperately want. My theory on this is the teddy bear smells like me. I have woken up in the mornings to Rigby curled around her. Of course, I snatch Theodora back right away lest Rigby get to humping. I think I will eventually let Maddie cuddle her, if I have to go out of town or something. Maybe. I dunno. Maddie has to get that barfing thing under control first.

I used to be somewhat embarrassed that I still have a stuffed animal to cuddle with. But I’ve come to realize that my teddy bear is my link to my past. She makes me feel comfortable, like I’m still a kid without a care in the world. When I go to sleep with her tucked into my arm, I feel like everything is right in my world.

I’m lucky Mike is understanding!

Maddie has tons of wonderful stuffed animals and beautiful cuddly dolls. I wonder if any will be her security blanket. I hope someday she has something that always brings her comfort.