Now that Maddie has herself a teenager-like crush, she’s also developed some teenager-like attitude. Maybe you’ve heard that little nursery rhyme that goes, “There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid.” Well, look who has some new hair developments:
First of all, yeah, NICE LOOK Madeline. Sorry if Mommy interrupted your busy screaming, kicking, and whining schedule. Maddie is a total Eddie Haskell. When she’s around other people, be it at baseball games or baby showers, she is perfect. A freaking shining example of why all people should procreate. Don’t get me wrong, most of the time she’s a good little girl at home. Emphasis on most of the time.
It’s just that lately…well, Maddie has a few things working against her. The first is that she is STILL TEETHING, and no teeth have popped through. I’m sure that’s frustrating. We do what we can to make her comfortable, but we aren’t going to to drugs/teething tabs, etc every night. I think that would be illegal.
Another issue Maddie is working through right now is attachment. She is MAJORLY attached to Mike – to the point where if Mike puts her down she freaks out. I can put her to bed, in her swing, on the floor for tummy time with no problem. If Mike does it? SHRIEKS and SCREAMS, and she literally throws a tantrum complete with kicking. How the HELL does she know how to do that? It’s clear to me that Maddie has already figured out her dad. Mike can’t stand it when she cries…so he gives in and picks her up. He knows he shouldn’t, but he can’t help himself.
Which leads to our final issue with Miss Attitude. We’ve started the “crying it out” process. Unfortunately, the first night we let her cry it out, she got so upset she barfed. The next night, she worked herself into such a tizzy she had a little asthma attack. So, now when she cries, I have to physically restrain Mike from going in the room.
To be fair, we DO have to give in when she starts having breathing issues, which…well, it annoys me. I feel like she has already figured out how to work us. We obviously can’t ignore her when she starts wheezing and gasping, but I am scared we’re going to get into a position where she’ll learn to fake a breathing attack just to get what she wants. And, I’m scared that we are NEVER going to get a full night’s sleep. She’s ten months old this week! Her adjusted age is 7 1/2 months – it’s time to START SLEEPING THROUGH THE FRIGGING NIGHT! Mom and Dad are tiiiiiired, Maddie!!!
I’m about ready to start throwing tantrums myself.
Oh poor you guys. If it’s consolation it’s easier with your second. Lol. Sorry that’s not helpful. me – i was never a fan of the crying out technique though i did it forever and a day with my eldest. She never really came round. I’m with mike – it totally broke my heart. So i haven’t done it with my second. I feel better and that’s the main thing. you go with what suits you and your kid. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently.
My mom always said it this way:
There was a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad she was popular.
Middle-Aged-Womans last blog post..The Suckiest Toaster
moosh in indy. says:
You want to talk about curls in the middle of foreheads?
WELL SIT RIGHT DOWN.
I HAZ A STORY FOR YOU.
Don’t worry, the moosh is almost four, wicked smaht and girl can’t fake anything for attention to save her life. Coughing, crying, sneezing-nothing.
Does that help?
moosh in indy.s last blog post..blog fizzle. fo’ shizzle.
Cry it out is SO HARD, but it works, and then everyone is so much happier. Once you get through it, you’ll be glad you did it. Good luck.
Oh, and about the tantrums, you only have to read my latest posts to see that those won’t go away. They’ll only get worse. Sorry.
Zellmers last blog post..The terribles
Awww, chipmunk held off on sleeping through the night until right around then. We did crying it out but he never really cried THAT hard so I think I got off pretty easy. He’s actually worse about it now every once in a while when he attempts to regress so that maybe I won’t bring little brother home.
Maddie’s hair is rocking out.
Marias last blog post..smell ya later
We’re still not sleeping through the night either, but I can’t bring myself to do the cry it out thing. I hear it works, but it is sooo hard. I am going a little crazy though from the lack of sleep, so I’m not far from giving it a real go.
Caras last blog post..How Long is Too Long?
Ms. Moon says:
Oh. She’s still a little thing. My kids never slept through the whole night until they were way into their first year. I could never stand to let them cry it out. It was too painful for me. So I was a wimp mommy. But I’m with Rebecca- every family has to work this issue out for themselves.
Ms. Moons last blog post..Yikes! Ike!
Black Hockey Jesus says:
Jackson used to cry till he puked. The gag reflex thing.
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Night Terrors In Tap Shoes
I don’t believe you. I think you must be making it up, because there’s just no way that sweet child could behave like that.
Kids figure out how to work us pretty early. And if someone buys into it, MIKE, they use it for all it’s worth. They’re crafty little suckers.
She’ll sleep through the night. She will. I promise. And soon enough when she DOES wake up at night, you’ll just be able to toss a bottle into her crib and go back to bed. Not that I’ve ever done that.
First – Pick her up. Hold her. Love her. Seriously. My first “baby” turned 19 on Saturday and I can’t pick him up and hold him anymore. Sure, I can love him but I miss that baby smell, the fresh diaper, the lotion, the look in his eyes as he snuggled in my arms. That’s all gone now. In the blink of an eye.
Second – Middle is 13. We let him cry it out. A lot. He still doesn’t sleep through the night. At. All.
Third – Baby was held all the time when he was awake. All the time. He fussed when we put him down so we picked him up again. He sleeps through the night. All night. All the time.
So – I think you should hold her and cuddle her and let her go to sleep in your arms. Don’t let her cry it out. That whole “self soothing” crap, in my opinion, is for the birds. Sure – you lose sleep now but wait until she is a teenager and goes on her first date. That is when you’re going to lose sleep. And a lot of it. Her attitude now? Purely normal baby attitude. Teen attitude? Invest in valium and, my boyfriend, Jose Cuervo. (Gold is much better for self – soothing.)
She’s adorable. I love to see her pictures. Those blue eyes just make me want to melt. Teen and Baby both have those eyes. Middle has my brown eyes and, like his mom, he’s full of shit 99% of the time. LOL!
preTzels last blog post..Ten Songs That Can Make A preTzel Weep….
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
My kids are 4 1/2 and 15 months. The first one slept through at 3 months. The second one, not till 11 months. But guess what? Once the second one was born, the first one decided to start waking up to go potty in the night and “needs help”. And NOW, the second one is waking up again, too.
So that whole sleeping through the night thing? Even with CIO? I’m 15 months without sleep tired. Good luck with that.
Ugh–that’s frustrating about the CIO/breathing issue thing. She sure is cute though!!
cindy w says:
If it helps, the freaking out every time Mike sets her down? That’s totally developmentally normal for a 6-9 month-old (so, right on target with her adjusted age). She’s not intentionally testing you, it’s just that she’s starting to realize that she’s a separate person from you and she panics when you’re out of her line of sight. (Oh, and this phase reappears around 18-24 months, which is what we’re in the middle of right now. Fun!)
Cate didn’t sleep through the night until she was a year old, and that was when we did CIO. It took one night, and then after that she was great. Total breeze. It’s been shot to hell since we moved, though. Now we’re sleep training all over again, and CIO isn’t working. So I sit next to her crib and rub her back until she falls asleep – not picking her up (which is what she wants), but still reassuring her that I’m there. After we do this for a couple of weeks, then I’ll sit next to the crib without touching her. Then I gradually move closer & closer to the door until she doesn’t need me to help her fall asleep. Didn’t know if that technique might work for y’all, but thought it was worth throwing out there. If you can’t let her cry it out because it triggers breathing problems, maybe it’s worth trying.
(Oh, and the Baby Einstein Lullaby music CD is fabulous. I have a small boombox in her room and the music really seems to help calm her down when she’s in her crib.)
This is a toughie.
Neve is a big drama queen. Everytime (without fail) that we put her down for the night- she will not stop bawling. She cries until she is so tired , she falls asleep. Soleil goes down pretty quickly though.
Its tough bec maddie has the breathing issues- so you kind of in btwn a rock and a hard place. I pray she starts falling alseep soon.
mayas last blog post..This is what happens when you’re bored on a rainy day.
Ah, tantrums. Try promising a car or something when she turns 12.
Hey man, whatever works.
Beckys last blog post..I Can Haz Ativan?
Ms. Changes Pants While Driving says:
wait until she starts faking asthma attacks to borrow the car…
Ms. Changes Pants While Drivings last blog post..things i love
I don’t have kids myself, but my brother has a 9 month old baby that just started going through the phase of wanting to always be held, and be held by only her mother. What they realized is that they had stopped spending as much time with other people with her, she was so used to just being with her mommy she got scared with outside interaction. They slowly started bringing her to play groups and having more people around to get her out of that phase… not sure if that will help Maddie, but know its totally normal.
CIO was so horribly difficult for us…the first night, Avery cried for an hour and 48 minutes and I thought I was gonna die. The next night, it was 1 hour 15 minutes. The third night, 47 minutes. The fourth, 29 minutes, and so on until the 8th night, when he went to bed without a sound and has been sleeping 10-13 hours a night ever since. :o)
We started when he was 10 months, and I honestly wish we’d done it sooner. SO hard, but SO worth it! I’m not a very good mommy when I’m tired and cranky…now I have the energy to be the kind of parent I want to be.
Ugh, the CIO is so hard, but in the end, worth it. We did CIO with my son around 8/9 month, but then he got an awful ear infection, and you can’t CIO when they are sick.
Truth? I night weened him at 10.5 month, which got his night wakings down to once a night. We did CIO again around 11.5 months and in two night he was going down with out a fight and sleeping through the night about 97% of the time (wakings now ususally coincide with sirens, barking dogs, illness, etc., which is acceptable in my book.)
Jennis last blog post..Reason #2 Why Pregnancy is Awesome
Unfortunately, I have a 25 month old that still wakes once a night. It’s crazy. And we try CIO, but they always throw up. Or wake all the other siblings up. But, my now 3 1/2 year old does sleep through the night, so it will happen. But, probably not soon. Hugs!
Loris last blog post..Just a quick note
Give her drugs. Every night. Slip ’em in her bottle. It’s not illegal.
I joked that when the boys were babies, they ate more Mylicon than formula with all the gas they had. And they were on a steady 8 hour stream of Motrin until their teeth popped through.
She may be attitude-y because it hurts. Teething effing hurts.
I say dose her. (But if your doctors say otherwise listen to them. Clearly, I do not have my MD…)
The attachment stuff is normal at her age, but if her mouth is hurting, it may make it worse. Sometimes when you feel like crap, you just want to be held.
Is she less clingy when she has Motrin?
Love the curl!! She is so impossibly cute! (Do you ever get tired of all of your commenters saying that all the time? )
Danielles last blog post..Holy Hot Red Head
Headless Mom says:
Dude, sorry to break it to you but mine are 17, 8, and 6 and I still don’t sleep through the night. All of those things that you talk about are normal and some of it will pass, but mostly you just go to another stage of which waking will still be normal.
Oh, for teething get a small washcloth damp, wring it out and freeze it. The cold will numb, the texture will help, and the only mess will be a little water. My boys loved this. Good luck!
Those beautiful eyes though, they’re like, come pick me up and squish me, I am so cute, you can’t resist.
They can’t fake an asthma attack, but they can bring one on by freaking out. Nata still does it sometimes when she gets to upset..come to think about it, I can too. But I’d keep doing the CIO thing and only go in there if she is wheezing. She’ll get used to it and hopefully learn to sleep one day.
Issas last blog post..T- one week. Am still pregnant.
My mom used to recite that saying to me, I had very curly hair and still do! My youngest has pretty curly hair, but not as curly as mine, and I say it to her. Maddie is as cute as can be, even with the attitude!!! I hope you find something that works so you can sleep! Amazing how they know how to “work” each parent to their advantage!!!
laurie of the seven stories says:
I don’t know. I always held my kids, picked ’em up when they were crying, let them crawl into my bed/ sleep with me at night when they were scared.
My philosophy probably isn’t popular, but I don’t think that you can spoil a kid with love. After a while, they all sleep in their own beds, they don’t want held…hell, at some point they don’t even want to be seen with you, let alone touched by you in any way.
I know its tough, but try to enjoy these days, they are fleeting.
Sorry, I’ve got no good advice for you – just my sympathy and best wishes for a good night’s sleep! – and yeah, she is still adorable!
Backpacking Dad says:
When we sleep-trained Erin the first few nights she cried for up to half an hour. If she hadn’t passed out by the 30 minute mark we’d go in, but we just steeled ourselves for that first half hour.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Four Fathers
Sleep? Please. My sons are 3 and 5 and I’m STILL waiting for the through the night phase!!
On the other hand, she is so freaking adorable, even with the ‘tude!!
pgoodnesss last blog post..Soc(cer) it to me, baby!
OH! I’m sorry. I hate the sleeping through the night crack down phase. I hit the wall at about ten months with both our babies. With the first, I went from maybe possibly ageeing with the no cry it out people to ‘yeah, maybe we could let him cry for just fifteen more minutes because I MUST sleep.’ It ends. And then you get to sleep. Hope it happens fast.
All I saw was blah blah blah FREAKING ADORABLE CURLS blah blah blah.
You got tons of advice, so I got nothing new to share, but she is just yums all around. Mine all have straight hair, so I don’t know what THEIR deal is.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..I can almost hear the Metropolitan Museum of Art calling
Can you give her a breathing treatment and put her back down? Apparently the key to CIO is not interacting or engaging the child at all. So they tell me. I used benadryl. (and I AM joking, put the phone down)
Shanias last blog post..Let’s have a bit of humor, shall we?
I didn’t know seven-month-olds ever slept through the night. Mine didn’t. Inconvenient little buggers.
I hope this won’t upset you, but I really urge you to try and turn around the way you look at Maddie and this. I have kids that are on the other end of the spectrum (grown and nearly grown, as well as little), and I have seen kids relationships with their mom’s when their mom looked at things in a similar manner. At 10 months, I do not believe that she’s doing any of this to manipulate. She’s just expressing herself the best she can. She’s been through a lot in her young life and if she needs/wants some extra cuddling, holding, attention, whatever, it’s not that much to ask. I totally relate to desperately needing sleep, but some babies just don’t sleep well. I think that’s a dirty little secret of parenthood. My oldest didn’t sleep well until he was 3 and a half. Sure, we contributed to that, but we could have done everything right and he still would not have been a good sleeper. It just wasn’t who he was. My second had a condition where she vomited easily. As she grew it was exaggerated by being upset. If she cried for a good 60 seconds, literally, she would vomit. She didn’t do it on purpose, it was the way she was built. Crying it out for her was never an option for us. When we were having sleep issues, my friends, truly trying to be helpful, would advise me she was manipulating us, just let her cry, if she vomited let her lay in it. That went against everything I believed in. I’m so glad that as I look at my beautiful girl now (she’s 16) that’s not a memory I have. We got through it, she became a beautiful sleeper, and we did it in a way where she got the comfort and security she was craving. That’s the memory I treasure. My grandson has breathing issues, I know without a doubt he doesn’t do it to get his own way. It’s just that when he’s upset, he gets physically stressed and he loses control of his breathing. In severe cases, an asthma attack follows. That’s not manipulation.
If you can try to not see what’s going on as purposeful or manipulative. If you can just steel yourself to grin and bear it and try to get through it without being resentful, your relationship down the road with Maddie will be so much better off.
I’m honestly not trying to judge you or criticize you. I truly, truly empathize with what you’re going through. But I’ve seen the path you could be on farther down the road, and I would like to spare you that. How we look at our children, how we relate to our children the patterns that we use later on truly are being created now.
Mom24@4evermoms last blog post..Voices in my head…
I love your blog and this is my first comment. OK now that’s out of the way and I’m no longer a lurker, I have to say: you will sleep again. I had the same exact feelings for almost the first 18 months of my daughters life. And then by some miracle of God she not only started to fall asleep on her own but stayed sleeping for 10+ hours. It will happen. Send Mike away at bedtime!
I think your little girl is 10 months going on 17 years! She is too smart for her own good!
Kristabellas last blog post..Bacon Crashes My Pity Party
Well, I can’t say that I agree with the cry it out method, but I can say for sure that at 10 months old, Maddie definitely doesn’t know how to manipulate you or Mike. Especially something as complicated as faking an asthma attack, so don’t worry about that. The fact is that at 10 months old – 7 1/2 for her adjusted age – she’s going to be waking up several times a night. Babies at that age don’t sleep “through the night” the way that parents do — “sleeping through the night” for a child her age is likely a 4-5 hour stretch – anything more than that is very unusual. Since Maddie goes to bed so much earlier than adults, it may seem like she’s not sleeping much at all. She’s probably waking up soon after YOU get to bed! Very frustrating, I agree. We chose to work through it with our daughter more slowly – she’s 2 and waking only once at night now – with gentle reassurance and attention when she needed it. Not every method is for every family, though, so I won’t push mine on you
Anywho, don’t worry about manipulation – some things may seem like manipulation, but really she’s just communication as best she can to get what she needs – be it cuddle time, food, attention, whatever. Once she’s 2 or 3… well, then you can start to worry!
iMommys last blog post..Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt…