At first glance most people think my mom is pretty with it for someone her age.  She has an iPhone and uses it to take videos of Annabel, she has a Facebook page and knows more about what’s going on with my friends than I do and she even has a twitter account that she uses to stalk I MEAN follow some of my online friends, too.

So considering all of that  you’d think she’d be…I dunno, hip with the lingo? Down with what us crazy kids are saying? Up to speed with the slang? But nooo. The kooky comes out of her mouth constantly.

Sometimes she asks me the most awkward questions EVER. What am I supposed to say when she, out of nowhere, asks me, “What does ‘tea bagging’ mean?” or “Why is his nickname ‘Dirty Sanchez?'” or my favorite, “Why do they call it ‘dropping a deuce?'” After I laugh and turn bright red, I tell her to look on Urban Dictionary or ask my dad.

Then there are the things she says about Annabel. One time she was holding Annie and suddenly exclaimed, “Annie is motor boating!” I looked at them totally confused until I realized Annie was farting. I told her she wasn’t using the term correctly, and once again referred her to Urban Dictionary (and yet, she still says it).

Another Annie-related gem was when my mom said, “Annabel, you love to stick out your tongue. You give good tongue!” Mike almost choked.

She gets her expressions confused all the time. I have a very superstitious friend who was keeping her attempts to get pregnant very quiet. When my mom found out, she said, “Oooooh, I get it. She doesn’t want to tell anyone because of the stink eye.” She meant the EVIL eye.

And ever since she started watching The Office, she says Michael Scott’s “that’s what she said” all the time, but wrong. Example:

Waiter: And what will you have, sir?
Mike: I’d like the Chile Con Carne, please.
My mom: That’s what she said!!!
Me: That doesn’t make sense, mom.
My mom: That’s what she said!!!
Me: Stop. Just stop.

Don’t get me wrong – my mom is AMAZING. I don’t call her St. Gramma for nothing. She’s a great sport (although she insists she’s not the only one that says crazy stuff), and doesn’t mind our laughing at the funny things she says as long as we’re laughing. She understands just how important that is for all of us these days.