I’m not going to go so far as to say I’m nesting or anything, but yesterday I walked through my front door after getting the mail and I was like, “OMG CHRISTMAS HAS TO GO.” Yeah, I think that’s just a normal person’s response to having Christmas decorations up two weeks after Christmas. But unlike when I was putting the decorations up and needed to do a little bit every day, yesterday I took everything down in a few hours. I just needed it down. Annabel was upset about it, but I kept saying, “but Christmas has to come down so it can be your birthday!” She accepted this, but still needed to say goodbye to every single decoration and that is no exaggeration. She kissed every ornament and hugged every Santa, stocking, and wreath. It was cute but slow going.
Annie’s birthday party is next weekend, so now that Christmas is all put away I can make my daily party-prep to-do lists for Mike. Spoiler alert, his daily tasks all involve cleaning. I tell him it’s because he’s just so good at it, but it’s also because if I said, “you can put together these goody bags,” he’d just eat the candy. Also because I hate actually cleaning. Although maybe I am nesting because I willingly vacuumed today.
After Annie went to bed, Mike and I were sitting on the couch, watching quality programming, when I heard a faint chirping noise. “Do you hear that?” I asked Mike. He was super-engrossed in Parenthood and didn’t realize what I was asking at first, but after I muted the TV he could hear it. Chirp chirp. Chirp, chirp, chirp. “IT IS A MOTHER EFFING CRICKET IN THE HOUSE I JUST VACUUMED.” One of us might have yelled that.
Mike got up and did some searching, but he couldn’t figure out where it was unless it was chirping, and it didn’t chirp if either of us were moving. After a few moments of standing still, we heard a chirp and Mike said, “Heather…it’s coming from inside the house.” He was not taking it seriously.
“Mike, somehow a cricket got into this house. I think whoever let it in should have to dispose of it.”
“Rigby probably let it in when she went to the bathroom.”
“Um, Rigby doesn’t leave the back door open when she goes in the backyard. I know a man who does, though.”
He just stared at me.
“Okay, can you at least google, ‘how to catch a cricket, and then kill it so it never chirps in our house again?”
While he googled, I slowly started walking around the room. I felt pretty confident that it was under the couch, but Rigby, who normally goes nuts over these things, was completely uninterested. In fact, she was laying on the couch with her eyes closed. “Look Heather, Rigby is so relaxed by the chirping that she’s asleep. It’s like she’s in the great outdoors!”
Instead of telling me ways to catch the cricket, Mike instead told me all sorts of facts about crickets. Like they can live for a month (GREAT). That some people keep them as pets (not us!). Some people even bring their pet crickets to fight against other crickets as a sport (omg).
“MIKE WE ARE NOT KEEPING IT.”
“Heather, what if we find it and it has a tiny top hat and a wise word for every situation?”
We didn’t find the cricket but Mike apparently wants it to be his conscience. Not gonna happen. But if there is still a cricket in my house in another month I will GO CRAZY. Anyone ever caught a cricket before?
I’ve never caught one unless it was out in the open, but I have tracked it to the appliance where it chose to hide. Then, I usually spray under and around with poison. Yep. I said it. My guilty confession of the day. But I can’t sleep if it chirps either, so I’m really doing it for my family, who will take the brunt of mom’s overtired grumps the next day.
Out of interest, I Googled it too.
1. Slice a long loaf of bread in half lengthwise, and hollow out the two sides.
2. Mix some of the bread you removed with granulated sugar, and place the mixture in the bottom hollowed-out section.
3. Replace the top, and hold the loaf together with rubber bands or toothpicks.
4. Slice off the ends of the bread, exposing the hollowed-out section, and place it in cricket territory. In the morning, you should have a full loaf of crickets.
I am horrified and scarred. I’m never going to be able to eat bread again without checking for crickets.
This makes total sense, and I say that from experience. Growing up, my brother somehow dropped one of those giant Costco muffins between our fridge and a cabinet. We later had crickets in our kitchen, and my dad eventually found them living INSIDE the giant muffin, which they had managed to hollow out themselves.
kandi ann says:
They are so bad here in Fl. That when I was walking my dogs a tiny bab baby one jumped on me. My cats catch the house goers!
My son has a pet frog (remind me again why I married a man allergic to dogs?) and we have to keep crickets in the house to feed it. Of course, they escape routinely and I have to catch them all the time. Walk towards them and move them to the corners of the room–I usually catch them there. Good luck!
I caught a cricket once … in my HAIR!!!!! I had fallen asleep on the floor in my boyfriend’s parent’s family room when I felt … a weird kind of flick of my hair. I opened my eyes and THERE IT WAS, STARING ME IN THE FACE! It was 15 years ago and I can still see his eyes. *shudders*
Heather, find that cricket and GET RID OF IT!
A roach once FLEW into my hair while I was growing up in FL. (Until that time, I was unaware they could fly.) There were screams; there were tears. I’m still not over it.
In some cultures, crickets in the house are thought to bring good luck, and it is definitely bad juju to kill them. We occasionally have one hitch a ride in with our firewood, and it will chirp for a day or so. When I find one in the house, I always catch it (a water glass and a piece of cardboard work well) and then take it back outside. They aren’t dirty like roaches, and they won’t hurt you.
Yup, a broom, patience and agility are all involved.
We’ve had crickets in our house before and have HAD to catch them to get them out because…my husband is terrified of them! He literally has a fear of crickets because they are so “unpredictable” lol! Try to narrow down where the noise is coming from and have a good size solo type cup to toss on it when you see it. Then you can scoop it up and bring it outside.
I actually can’t handle crickets. They came in here all through the Fall, and once I called my mother from work to catch it and get rid of it. (Spoiler alert, I’m 27). My husband is like Mike, and I find it infuriating!
So no, I have never caught a cricket. But there were probably at least 10 in the house this season, and they all succumbed to the dog, my husband or my mother. Just check under your sink before you stand there in your bare feet, or they will crawl across your toes while you are doing the dishes.
Sure, blame Rigby.
We had a gecko for the holidays (my son’s class gecko) and they eat crickets, so we had to keep some around. Did you know crickets stink?
Heather! Reallly? How long have you lived in California? Crickets are part of every year and they manage to find their way in to warmth etc. And usually you can NEVER find them. .you just have to hope they die.
I don’t think I’ve had a cricket in my house since I lived with my parents, and I moved out of their house in 1997!
Totally agree with Leslie…I think it’s the Chinese that believe crickets are good luck in the house and remember reading that they have special tiny cages to keep them in their houses….
If you find it, just let it out far from your house as they are pretty harmless….I do this all the time with most little bugs, except those lovely roaches!!
Becca Masters says:
I’m actually dying reading this, because as I did, Give A Little Whistle started playing on my iPod! HA!!
There’s nothing funnier than reading about a cricket when one is singing along with Pinocchio in your ear!
Don’t kill it! Crickets in your house are supposed to bring good luck to all that hear it
I have however caught them before and set them free – but it was usually just a case of…accidentally stumbling upon them, cornering them and then picking them up and taking them outside….
Let’s talk about parties…lalalalalalalalala…no bugs, no chirps, no “can’t find it”. Parties.
We have used a paper cup and a fly swatter. Cover the cricket with the cup and slide the fly swatter under it and remove the cricket to the great outdoors. I will kill everything else, but for some reason hate to kill these guys. Maybe the Disney connection.
I love cricketts, lol. Thanks for making me laugh with Mikes top hat comment. I love Jiminy Crickett!!!
BTW we still have all our Christmas stuff up since technically Christmas doesn’t end til the week after the Epiphany. My boys love it.
Good luck catching that cricket. I’ve never managed to catch them since as soon as I get close they do their crazy jumping-in-all-directions jump and I freak out and run away. We usually end up disposing of cricket bodies every few days. :-\
I was tortured by three crickets in my garage for a month until I caught them…first, you need to carry bug spray on you at all times. Not raid…you need something with a stream. The importance is a direct hit when you see the little bastard. It’s okay to scream when you spray them too. Next you use the same bug spray to form a perimeter. I sprayed a semi circle in my garage around my door to keep them from crossing the barrier and entering my house when I opened the door. I have also run them over with my car when necessary…might be hard to do in your house though. If you can’t use bug spray because of rigby, get 409 or something like that. Good luck! Crickets are evil and must die. They also like Cheerios, so you might be able to bait them.
I don’t kill crickets. I think they are clean insects, and I thought they ate other bugs? Don’t they help with something? Hmmm…I thought they did. But anyways, we don’t get many in the house. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen/heard one in the house. Okay, maybe you’re laughing at my mentioning they are “clean” insects. Truth: I have no idea if they are clean or not. They just don’t look dirty, lol. Okay, don’t listen to me. Even that sounds crazy. Bugs are bugs, right? If you want it out, then get it OUT. Who am I to tell you which insects are acceptable to cohabitate with?
Sarah Shohet says:
The hardware will have cheap glue traps, which work miracles. Your cricket/s will be gone in no time.
Mrs Marcos says:
Check the vacuum bag, you might have sucked the cricket up already?
I was peeing one morning this week and a cricket skipped by me. I squashed him with my house slipper and felt guilty.
It’s unfair, really, that this story did not end with you finding a top-hatted cricket. I’m just saying.
We get crickets ALL THE TIME. I brought in a wrapped bundle of wood that had been in our patio for months, opened the plastic with scissors and out jumps a family of crickets, OMG, I wrapped it back up fast and put it outside, a least 20 jumped out. I have been finding crickets for the last 2 weeks in my family room. There was one that found its way into the toilet, now how could it do that!!!!! Anyway, I kill them even though I’ve heard about their good luck. I hate the sound. It’s bad when they’re in the walls. Good luck on finding it.
My son has a leopard gecko that we have to buy crickets for as his food. One night the cat decided to knock over the cricket “house” and all 20 crickets escaped. The next morning I thought I had all of them rounded up, but no, ONE was on the loose and it found it’s way to living in my dresser in my bedroom. By the 3rd night of listening to that think chirp, I was ready to haul the dresser into the back yard and burn it in the fire pit! But my other son saved the day when he pulled all the drawers out and found the bad @SS hiding in a crevice. Die sucker!
I recently moved to Arizona. During my “fun” sugar ant invasion a cricket happened to get in somehow. It chirped for five days. FIVE DAYS! It was behind my dishwasher, which I could not move. It was awful. I hope you catch yours!
Okay, seriously… this post made me laugh out loud, especially the part about Mike wanting it as his conscience!
I thought for sure you were going to end up saying that it was just your fire alarm.
I am sorry that it wasn’t. At least when you have a chirping fire alarm, you can change the battery and be done.
My cats catch them. Does that count? Oh, and they pull off their legs for some reason. (Cruel cats.) Random chirping at my house usually means my partner’s pager battery is low. Good luck with solving your chirping problem with a minimum of drama!
No, don’t kill it! They are good luck when you find them in the house! If you find it, just put it outside, but don’t hurt it. They won’t hurt a thing in your house, don’t be scared!
LOL Amy, I was just going to say chirping in my house usually means one of the batteries in the smoke detectors needs to be replaced!
Killing them is supposed to be bad luck – I figure if I at least try to rescue them, and they get squashed in the process, it was the thought that counts – right?
Diane B. says:
I’ve tried all the weird cricket traps from online and none of them ever worked. I just kill them with a tissue. You gotta be fast. My great claim to fame is that I’ve killed a cricket while nursing. It’s not easy–hold the baby with one hand, get a tissue/paper towel with the other and hop around following the cricket and thinking like a cricket to anticipate its next move so you can kill it. And do it at 2 am. You desperate things when sleep deprived in the middle of the night…
We had them constantly until we cleared out all our old paper grocery bags from next to the fridge. They liked to hide there. Eliminate their favorite hiding spots and they don’t bother you as much.
Here’s what my parents did once: Record the chirping sound (digital recorder, phone, etc) for a few minutes. Next, playback the sound in a nearby corner of the room. The cricket will follow the sound and you’ll have a corner to trap him/her in. Hope this works for you!
Another cricket fact for you: My daughter buys them at Petco in San Francisco to feed to her tarantula she’s had for about 20 years. For realz. I don’t think the ones she buys are your typical household variety (ha!) cricket, though. Hope you, er, Mike caught the chirper and disposed of it.
We use honey to catch them. It works pretty well and is safe if one of the animals tries to eat it. Put a small bowl, best to use paper if you have them, with honey in it, on the floor near where you’re hearing the cricket. Try to stay out of the area, if possible. The crickets are attracted to the sweet and then get stuck in the sticky. Once caught, just toss the “trap” out (this is why you use paper!).
I once had a cricket behind my fridge that refused to be caught and also refused to stop chirping. In a one bedroom apartment. I tried to catch it and spare its life, but ended up vacuuming it.
I was at Petsmart recently and at the checkout, there were two or three crickets hopping around the floor and everyone was all, ha ha there are crickets, I guess they escaped from the reptile food section. Omg, I could NOT handle the thought of one jumping on me so I had to leave. Soooo gross. They are ugly and scary, like any bug. I just kept looking around at the other customers like, we are all ok with these bugs? Wtf?? I guess I forgot about the Disney connection. Still, yuck. What if it hope in your mouth while you are sleeping??? *shudder*
Get that mofo out of your house!!!!!
*hops, not hope. I’m so grossed out I can’t type.
We found one once on our ceiling fan…couldn’t find it for what seemed like forever. So look up on hanging items too!
A cricket ain’t so bad. Not unless you also had to catch a mouse, spitfire caterpillar, red back spider, white tail spider, huntsman spider, moths of all shapes & sizes, a mozzie & a lizard. Just like my week that was ps HATE ALL bugs. So you can imagine my delight. Hope you find Jimminy.
OMG! Dying laughing! Between the post & the comments!!! I grew up with a brother who had a reptile zoo in his bedroom. We figured we were lucky if it was only the “food” that escaped!! Haha Fond memories!
Now I live w/my mom again (I’m in my 40s; she’s in her 60s) and being a consummate gardener she won’t let me kill any bugs–those inside get released outside–EXCEPT crickets (or roaches or aphids). But I won’t kill crickets because to do so you have to really grind them underfoot and that sends shivers up my entire spine just thinking about it!!!
Good luck to ya! (I agree with the cup and cardboard method of removal)