A few minutes ago I was just sitting on my couch, procrastinating my evening away. I looked up when I realized the TV was quiet.
“Did you pause it?” I asked Mike.
“No, looks like it’s frozen.”
I went back to procrastinating on my computer, then looked up at Mike again.
“I can’t get the Internet to load, can you?” I asked.
“No…and the TV is out, too.”
“Oh no!! Check the phone!!”
“Why do I need to check the phone, Heather?”
“Because we have one of those all-in-one plan thingies, if the phone is out then we know there’s a problem.”
“…there’s no dial tone.”
“OH MY GOD!!! SOMEONE IS GOING TO KILL US!!!”
“Heather, what are you talking about?!”
“Someone probably cut the line to our cable box so that we can’t call the police when they try to break in. Our box is on the side of the house, and when the cable guy was here and I said ‘hey, that makes it vulnerable to murderers cutting the line’ he said he’d only heard of that happening once in his career!!!!”
“Heather, he was messing with you! You’re crazy. No one is going to kill us.”
“OK well, please go check all the doors and windows…but be nonchalant, we don’t want the murderers to know we’re on to them.”
“What?! Why? Wouldn’t they just abort their mission if they knew we were on to them?”
“So you DO think we’re going to get murdered!! I’m gonna get Annie.”
“You’re being irrational.”
“Am I, Mike? You won’t think so after you’re murdered.”
“Fine. I’ll check the front windows, you check the back.”
“Nooooooo…you know I don’t do windows at night!”
“It’s OK to admit you’re afraid of the dark, Heather.”
“I’m not afraid of the dark!!! I’m afraid of what the dark HIDES. It’s NORMAL.”
“Well, too bad the Internet is down, or I’m sure you’d be all over getting people to tell you it’s normal to be scared of the dark at age 32.”
“….OK, normal might be too strong a word. Maybe I should have said ‘adorable.'”
“Awwww, now we’ll never know the answer.”
“Hey, I can type it out on my cell phone! It’s what Steve Jobs would have wanted!”
“Good luck with that, Heather.”
“Good luck with not getting murdered!”
kristina says:
I’m 24 and not a fan of windows at night either. Especially ones that look into more darkness, like the woods or something, instead of happy street lights. Team Heather! Also, if the murder cut the power to the phone/cable/internet, couldn’t you just use your cell phone to call for help? lol
Kirsten says:
I’m 25 and I still freak out when it’s dark and my imagination plays tricks on me. I keep thinking I’m going to get shot.
Sara says:
You should not start watching Doctor Who, then. It’s made me even more afraid of the dark than I used to be.
Jenn says:
28 here, and I say it’s COMPLETELY normal. Isn’t that in the job description for husbands? Investigating scary noises/potential murderers in the house? Check the fine print… I’m pretty sure it’s in there.
mccgoods says:
The other night my key wouldn’t work in the door I had to sit in my car and wait for my husband who was about 25 minutes behind me. ( Did I mention it was dark?) His key worked but still gave him some trouble. I asked if someone maybe tried to break into our house and messed up the lock. My husband looked at me like I was crazy.
Adrianne says:
One of my most recent posts was titled “I’m Afraid of the Dark” about how much it sucks getting up multiple times a night with a new baby when you’re afraid of the dark.
I’ll be 29 on Sunday. I say it’s totally normal:)
Marissa says:
I’m 33 and I’m afraid of the dark. You’ll never catch me looking out the windows after dark, or even into any kind of mirror if the lights are off. It’s getting a little hard to play it cool and act like it’s not bad when I’m in front of my minis (who are 5 and 3 years old). I can’t let them know their own mother is a big scardy cat! Glad to know I’m not the only one in my 30’s with children who’s affraid!
Kay says:
I’m 20 years old and still won’t go into a dark room without a flashlight because I’m always sure something creepy is crawling around the floor (I once found a wolf spider in front of my bed) or that someone is hiding in my corner. We have a spare room right off of mine, so it always makes me think that someone is going to creep into mine and hold a rag with chloroform over my mouth. Yes, I have a vivid imagination…
Annie says:
I’m 24 and while I’m not ‘scared’ of the dark… it definitely makes me uncomfortable. I’m completely neurotic about checking (and double checking, and triple checking) my windows and doors before I go to bed at night to ensure bad guys can’t get in. Doesn’t help when I watch an episode of Dexter before I go to sleep like I did last night!
katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
So…..?
Don’t leave us hanging.
If you are still alive, post something, will ya?
I mean, your post began with, “A few minutes ago…” so I’m just wondering who was right: – no-fear-there’s-nobody-out-there Mike, or paranoid-they-are-coming-to-get -me Heather?
Hello? Hello?!!!
Kristin says:
“I’m not afraid of the dark!!! I’m afraid of what the dark HIDES. It’s NORMAL.” – LOVE IT!
M says:
I’m not afraid of the dark but I am afraid of being murdered. I always check the doors when i hear noises…and i sleep with a knife under my bed. My husband works the night shift & I live in one of the outer boroughs of NYC. Ya never know. I’m 105 pounds & I look 16 (even though I’m 29). I can’t defend myself. Im a tiny little woman. Doesn’t mike watch Dateline, 48hours mystery, anything on that ID channel? People are nuts. You’re total rational heather…or were both irrational
Lisa says:
I think you should write a noveltte on this freak out you just had. Who know’s if you write it out your fear will not look so scary.
susanmig says:
heather, you’ve just freaked me out….thanks.
Debbie B says:
I’m 55 and “afraid of the dark” – or what is lurking out there that I can’t see. I also would have had the same fears as you had if my TV, phone and internet went out and I’ve often wondered why the cable box is located where ‘anyone’ can get to it. Sorry Mike – Heather is totally normal!
Adria says:
It’s like we’re twins.
Cathy says:
26 years old. Still have to get into the bed before I turn the lights off. It’s totally normal . . . isn’t it?
Ray says:
24, here. I wouldn’t say that I’m afraid of the dark per-say. The dark just makes things creepier, and your mind plays tricks on you. And I think because of that, your mine goes to crazy places that it wouldn’t have in the daylight hours.
I always make sure that the doors are locked since I’m the last one to go to sleep at night (okay…early morning). Better to be safe than sorry.
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
It’s perfectly reasonable to fear what is out there in the dark! Doesn’t Mike know that every vampire, Freddy Crugar, ax murder you have ever seen in a movie or read about in a book is waiting for you out there? Sheesh, Mike. How long have you been married?
Janet says:
This is soooooooooooo funny!
Lissa says:
Ok, so right now I live in an apartment building of a lovely North of Seattle neighborhood, but I spent years 21-27 living alone in my house in the woods. Literally, as I was driving with my real estate agent to my soon-t0-be house, he was all “it’s like Deliverance!” Very reassuring. Luckily, I had never seen Deliverance so I didn’t know any better. I had city friends who wouldn’t come to my house because it was “too scary”. I blamed my house for not watching scary movies “I live alone in the woods”. Really, though, I have been scared for my life in reality and never found the feeling “thrilling” nor wanted to repeat it through entertainment per say.
Leah says:
“I’m not afraid of the dark!!! I’m afraid of what the dark HIDES. ”
I am SO using that line from now on. I’m 36, and I think I watched too many scary movies as a kid and adult, so I will never be ok with the dark though I pretend to be for my daughter’s sake.