The other night, we were celebrating one of Mike’s accomplishments. He got to decide our method of celebration, and he chose ordering in (fancy food in sweatpants!). There’s a delivery service in LA that will bring you food from dozens of awesome restaurants that don’t normally deliver. Since it was his night, he got to choose the restaurant.
Mike was scrolling through the list of restaurants, saying the names of some out loud, talking to himself. Every now and then he’d go, “do you like ABC Restaurant?” and I’d say, “yeah! Whatever you want!”
He decided he wanted Italian food and narrowed it down to two places: Large Restaurant and Family Restaurant. He then asked me, “What do you think of Large Restaurant?” so I replied, “it’s not my favorite of the two options, but if you want it we can get it!”
He decided to go with Family Restaurant…and hasn’t let me hear the end of it. “You said it was up to me, but then you said Large Restaurant wasn’t your favorite! What was I supposed to do? Say that I still wanted it and look like a jerk?”
To which I reply, “You asked my opinion! I told you, but I said we could order from there!”
So seriously, what was I supposed to say there? He was deciding between two restaurants. Mike says I shouldn’t have given my opinion since it was his night to choose. I say he shouldn’t have asked for it!
Who is right? Also, it should be noted he ate all my leftovers the next day. Grrr.
Gratuitous judging baby photo:
totally on mommy’s side
kathy butler says:
I vote for Annie.and since he kinda sorta asked then it was okay for you to give your opinion which he did not HAVE to honor so you are of course right.
Nancy Smego says:
Yes, you are right. Sorry Mike. Don’t ask if you don’t want to know the answer.
erika says:
oooooh- adorable photo!!!!
i am so curious to know the restaurants AND the delivery service (since i’m local- west side of LA)…
so, spill it!
Heather says:
OK since you’re local and all. hee.
http://www.labite.com
it was Buca di Beppo vs San Gennaro
Ready…set…pick me!
Katie says:
I would have gone with San over Buca. Buca di Beppo is icky.
Miriam says:
definitely..also isn’t buca like for big parties…lots of people?
Katie C. says:
Me no likey Buca di Beppo.
I say Mike is WRONG in this situation. If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked you to opine!
mamaspeak says:
I believe Annie has cast the correct vote. Daddy is WRONG! Wait, what was the question?
Yo! Daddy! you are outnumbered. Just go with it. Resistance if futile, the girls are always right. Nod and smile and all will be ok.
.-= mamaspeak´s last blog ..Not Just Ruining Professional Baseball Careers =-.
Shnerfle says:
He’s totally wrong. As he knows perfectly well, or he wouldn’t be all whiny about it. Clearly, Annie is an excellent judge of these complex matters.
erika says:
oh cool! i totally would have gone with san gennaro! i forgot about la bite- i haven’t used them in ages- but now i am going to again…see…i always get so much from your blog!
.-= erika´s last blog ..This And That! =-.
Catherine Lucas says:
Since he did ask you had the right to your veto… But it is kind of hard, people are often afraid to not be polite enough and feel that they are obliged to ask for approval, and then when that approval comes out wrong both parties feel kind of cheated…
If it is your turn to choose Mike, just choose and stick to it, it was your day….
.-= Catherine Lucas´s last blog ..Bluebells and black snails =-.
Catherine Lucas says:
and Heather: learn to say that it is his monkey and put it back on his shoulder… ;o))))
.-= Catherine Lucas´s last blog ..Bluebells and black snails =-.
Noelle says:
That face totally says, “Men! Hmpf!”
Karyn says:
That is the cutest pic of Annie! And Mike shouldn’t have asked for your opinion if he didn’t actually need help deciding!
.-= Karyn´s last blog ..Strawberry Wine =-.
dysfunctional mom says:
aaaghh Mike sounds just like my hubby, right down to eating my leftovers!
So he is most definitely WRONG!!
debi says:
Well he did ask you. It’s sweet that he wanted to please you but still,
Farhan says:
I think answer of the second question should be the same as that of the answer of first question.
“do you like ABC Restaurant?”
“yeah! Whatever you want!”
“What do you think of Large Restaurant?”
“yeah! Whatever you want!”
Chris says:
Buca di Beppo is just….ehn. Not so spectacular. the one thing I have to say for this state which I want to leave with a firey passion is OMG the hole in the walll Italian that is TO DIE FOR. Oh wait I digressed. Annie! Oh the beautiful baby. That little girl gets cuter with each passing picture. Utter adorableness.
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
I didn’t even really need to read the post, just the title Poor Mike! But, yes, I’m with you Heather. He didn’t have to ask for your opinion, and when you gave it you said he could have whichever he liked better. And if he ate all the leftovers, he wasn’t suffering too much for having ordered from the “wrong” restaurant!
Annie is totally gorgeous (I may have said this once or twice already).
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..Bzzt! Wrong answer! =-.
Audra says:
When this happens at my house I counter with another question, “Are you asking for my OPINION or my APPROVAL?!” Usually the mister PRETENDS to want my opinion, but he really is just seeking rubber stamp approval for his already-made choice.
Annie’s face says it all.
Karen says:
I think they shouldn’ ask opinions if they don’t really want it. You, baby, you.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Shutter Island =-.
cj says:
too funny! miss Annie has got the judging gig down……you are completely correct and apologies to Mike but he is soooo not!!
Sarah P says:
That photo of Annie is priceless. You can see it in her face. Definitely on Mommy’s side.
.-= Sarah P´s last blog ..Indian Jones and the Fire of Truth =-.
AmazingGreis says:
I’m with you. Don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want it!! Love that picture.
.-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Bucket list… =-.
Leigh says:
awesome picture of Annie!
….and Mike’s wrong.
Sarah says:
Exactly what I was going to say!! Such an adorable photo of Annie. What an expression!
charlane says:
I hate to say it, you know being as this is YOUR blog and everything, but I think that Mile may be right, but just a smudge. Sure you wanted him to chose but he wanted you to also be happy with his choice, so he got too choose to a point, then he took your opinion into consideration and chose what he believed you wanted him to.
Oh and the judging photo was a great shot!
.-= charlane´s last blog ..Lazy Cake Days =-.
Kandi Ann says:
This is “almost” what I thought too. Who wants to celebrate alone? Mike wants Heather to be happy with his choice too. And with that said, he may have been reiterating to her that he chose that choice for her out of love. Men have a strange way of being all showy when they do something for their partner. I mean even taking out the garbage deserves a pat of the back in the men I have met, minds. Maybe he just wanted huge gratitude or something? (Which eeeps. I would have said what Heather did, You! asked me. )
For the record, Next time pick 2 of your absolute fav’s so it doesn’t matter a bit. and eating ones leftovers is sooo not cool. xoxo, Kandi Ann
Sue says:
Yeh,”I’m pretty sure Mike is wrong”, too! If he wanted it to be solely his choice; he shouldn’t have asked for your opinion at all, and it must have been pretty tasty since he ate your leftovers the next day. That wasn’t fair at all!
OMG,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Annie just keeps getting more gorgeous each and every day!
Mary Ann says:
Sorry Mike but I am on Annie’s side too. It was nice that you asked Heather’s opinion, but seriously you made the ultimate decision. Next time just choose the one you really want, it’s only dinner.
Jenn says:
I have to side with Annie on this one! You don’t want to factor in someone’s opinion, don’t ask!
Love that picture
Paty says:
I’ve always been told that if I don’t want an opinion I shouldn’t ask for it so I say you are right Mike simply shouldn’t have asked lol Annie is beautiful
Java says:
It was Mike’s choice…he chose it…end of story!!
No matter what I would have chosen you anyhow cause us women stick together no matter what!
.-= Java´s last blog ..Venti’s Graduation!! =-.
Julia says:
That’s called “married conversation”…..haha.
.-= Julia´s last blog ..Pardon me… =-.
Kelly says:
He asked, so you win :))) And Annie totally looks like she is on your side!
Ginny says:
Yep, I have to agree with Annie. It was very nice of Mike to ask your opinion, but if he wasn’t prepared to hear your vote then he should’ve just chosen what he wanted and been done with it!
Christine says:
Oh, Mike. You’re wrong.
If you ask for an opinion be prepared to receive it and deal with it. The deal with it part means to either take it into consideration or not. Mike took it into consideration.
My philosophy: Don’t ask, won’t tell… but I am really opinionated.
Deborah says:
Don’t ask the question if you don’t like the answer. You are more in the right than he is, but he’s still pretty cool. (Don’t tell him I said that, okay?)
(((hugs)))
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..I Scream, You Scream =-.
Amy says:
I love Mike, he seems great! He’s totally wrong here though. When you don’t want an opinion, don’t ask for it!!
Lindsay from Florida says:
Agh, both sides have some merit. So I think I’ll stick with congrats to Mike on his accomplishment and Annie is too adorable for words.
Lisa says:
I totally on your side on this one. My husband does this to me all the time. If he didn’t want your opinion to sway his decision than he shouldn’t have asked for it. What were you supposed to do, lie? And if he enjoyed the end result what difference does it make.
Adorable voting photo. Annie is right to side with her mama on this one.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..The Perfect Saturday Morning =-.
Tracy says:
I believe that since it was his celebration, you should have said “Either one is fine, honey. Pick the one you want.” But any points you may have lost by not doing that are completely negated by the fact that he ate your leftovers! That’s just wrong!
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..How I feel today =-.
cindy w says:
I think the general rule is that if you don’t want the other person’s honest opinion, you shouldn’t ask them what they think. This is why I never ask my husband if a new outfit makes my butt look big. I don’t really want to know the answer.
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..and yes, we’re getting a baby-sitter on Saturday night =-.
Terri says:
This made me laugh.. not because Mike is wrong, or you are wrong.. but because I would totally do the same thing Mike did! lol And my husband gets soooo mad at me for it and protests with but I didn’t tell you to do what I wanted.. or I didn’t tell you to take that back.. blah blah.. but I ALWAYS feel guilty and go with what he wants. SO I have to vote for Mike… It’s your fault Heather .. you’re voice subliminally made Mike get the wrong Italian food!!! AND then he had to eat your leftovers, as your punishment!
Jodie Brooks says:
Sorry, Mike!! Heather is RIGHT!! If you don’t want an opinion/approval, you shouldn’t ask for one. Not sure what you were celebrating, but CONGRATS anyway! Oh, and ANNIE is just the cutiest little thing. I can’t believe how big she’s getting!! I miss that age. They grow so fast, don’t they?? Have fun!!
Megan (Best of Fates) says:
Wait – was the food bad, or is he just upset you offered an opinion? ‘Cause if it’s just that you offered an opinion, he shouldn’t have asked!
.-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..The Mascot: Unraveling the Mystery of My Jewish Father’s Nazi Boyhood =-.
MS says:
This happens all the time at my house! And I’m sorry Mike, but I’m on Heather’s side here. If you didn’t want the opinion, you shouldn’t have asked! P.s. Annie says you both win!
NotAMeanGirl says:
The rule in our house? Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know! Mike is wroooooooong.
maya says:
I just think you are both crazy
.-= maya´s last blog ..Bumpy Ride =-.
Kim says:
Mike is so totally wrong here – it’s a no brainer. You gave him proper instructions and authority to make a choice – the ball was clearly in his court.
He asked for your opinion and you gave it. It was then his choice whether to take it or go with his choice. He chose you! And that is suppose to be your fault? I don’t think so!
.-= Kim´s last blog ..Listen Live Tonight At 5! =-.
Kelly says:
You should never ask for someone’s opinion unless you want to hear the truth – Gandhi (or Roseanne Barr, I forget)
Sarah says:
You win. He shouldn’t of asked your opinion if he really didn’t want to hear it.
Smoochagator says:
Okay, on the one hand, I think that Mike shouldn’t have asked for your opinion if he didn’t want it. On the other hand, if you know that he is easily swayed by other people’s opinions and he would have chosen according to your input despite the fact that it was “his nite” to choice, you could have kept your opinion to yourself and said, “Either one works for me!” Which would not have been untruthful, since although you may prefer one or the other, either one would have worked for you.
He really can’t be all THAT mad, though, if he ate all your leftovers. Clearly, the restaurant choice was a good one!
Annabel is SO on mommy’s side. And SO cute.
Candice says:
If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked!!! Totally! What were you supposed to do? Lie? I think not!
.-= Candice´s last blog ..Thank You =-.
Jennifer says:
I must say that I agree with Mike. Sometimes we asked for opinions but don’t really want them. Yes, that can make relationships a minefield, bec. you never know when you are going to be stepping on toes! It sounds like he just wanted to please you too, which is why he asked, and was just looking out t make sure you enjoyed the meal too. If it was clear that he wanted the other option, I think I would have just said “What you picked sounds great!” Saying you prefer the other sets him up for failure!
Jennifer says:
Wow…I just read thru some comments and am SHOCKED to see no one agrees with me!! Yes, in general, I think if people ask your opinion they should be able to hear it. But in real life, in marriages, in happy relationships, we all need to learn to censor ourselves every once in a while. Especially over silly things like dinners choices or clothes, etc.
pixielation says:
Gorgeous picture! She definitely agrees with you!
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..In which I try, and fail to beat Pygmalion =-.
Adrianne says:
There’s no right or wrong, just different communication styles. But since poor Mike is getting no votes, I’ll give mine to him! I think by asking “what you do think about Large restaurant?”, he was actually saying “I want Large restaurant, but I want to make sure it’s ok with you, so what do you think?” He should have just said “Is Large restaurant ok with you?”
Because you couldn’t have replied with anything other than, “that sounds great!” or you would have sounded like a big meany who wasn’t really letting him choose:) He just worded it wrong. At any rate, he should get some major points for skipping over his first choice to go with yours. That was nice of him, and some men wouldn’t do that.
Anyway, ADORABLE picture of Annie!! What a cutie.
P.S. Mike didn’t pay me to make this comment:)
Adrianne says:
oh, and one more thing to all the women who are saying “if you don’t want the truth, don’t ask for an opinion.” Seriously?! Haha, women do that all the time (and yes I am one!). You know the old “do these pants make my butt look big?” or “what do you think about my new swimsuit/haircut/jeans?” Do you REALLY want the truth? Or do you just want confirmation that you made a good choice? LOL.
mel says:
In the end, Mike made the decision since it was his decision to make. However, he was trying to make the wife happy so he get points for that. Then we come back to, he chose to make the wife happy so again, his decision.
I’m on your side Heather. He’s sweet and all, but he he had the final say. Sorry Mike. At least you know where not to order from next time.
Any is gorgeous as always. Love her!
.-= mel´s last blog ..Around Town =-.
mel says:
wow, can you tell I haven’t had coffee????? wicked good speller over her. Sheesh!
*Annie* is as gorgeous as always
.-= mel´s last blog ..Around Town =-.
mel says:
OMG *here* not *her*
going back to bed now….
.-= mel´s last blog ..Around Town =-.
lacey says:
OH MY GOSH. i NEVER leave comments, and i am leaving my intense comment-seclusion to say WHY IS MIKE BEING SUCH A JERK? it generally seems that he is the awesomest of the awesome husbands and fathers, but right now, not ONLY are you SO SO SO right, but he is being a manipulative little snit. SO MANIPULATIVE. SUCH A SNIT.
Veronika says:
Heeeyyy! Now I feel bad for Mike.
lacey says:
i tried to make this not-too-harsh by using the word “snit” … i still think it was a manipulative move! BUT i haven’t read his rebuttal yet, so i’m about to head that direction, and i still love mike, so i am trying to remain open-minded …
Jen at Cabin Fever says:
Goodness… my husband does this to me all the time! He can’t make up his mind so he asks what I think and then he goes with whatever I end up saying. I think its a secret excuse so that if he doesn’t like it he can complain saying “well you were the one that suggested it!”
Marriage Ref Says: I think you are right. He couldn’t make up his mind and asked for your input. If he didn’t want you to affect his decision he should make up his own mind!
And you so should get a back rub for him eating your left overs.
Cabin Fever in Vermont
Michelle says:
If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked! You are totally right!
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Another week… =-.
Amy says:
Was he asking you your opinion because he wanted help deciding? Because if he was just curious, then he totally didnt need to use it in his decision making. Actually, either way… sorry Mike, you are wrong.
Nicole says:
Seriously are you inside me house?? My husband and I do the same exact thing all the time. My opinion is if you don’t want my thoughts don’t ask for theme! So of course I side with you
That picture of Annie is adorable! I think she agrees with mommy too!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Butterfly House =-.
Rita from the Chicago says:
That sounds like a conversation that me and my husband have had MANY times!!
Annie’s eyes are amazing in that photo…
Have a great Monday!
Dawn says:
I’m a faithful reader of this blog, but I never comment. However, i am so shocked with the lack of support for Mike that I feel the need to respond.
Under normal circumstances Heather I would always give my opinion, particularly when it comes to food. But, because it was Mike’s accomplishment and celebration I would have remained neutral to avoid influencing him.
I know that is what I would do with my husband, as he would for me. So sorry, but Mike is right. Regardless, I have been so moved by your blog and look forward to reading each new post. Thank you.
Jenn says:
I am always completely honest with my husband and sometimes he doesn’t like it. I figure there are always three options when someone asks you a question: you can be honest, you can ignore it completely, or you can lie. Being honest isn’t always what the other person wants to hear (but at least it’s the truth!), ignoring the question usually ticks the other person off anyway, and lying is just… wrong.
So yeah, I’m completely on your side! If he didn’t want the truth then he shouldn’t have asked! Also? It couldn’t have been TOO bad if he ate all your leftovers!
Tami says:
Thats a adorable picture of Annie!! You are Right. Sorry mike!
Trisha Vargas says:
The opinion was asked for. End of story in my book.
Annie is stunning in that photo. Love it!!!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Allyson says:
If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked for it. You tell him, Annie.
.-= Allyson´s last blog ..Relief =-.
Rachel says:
I am on your side on this one.
Last night we had a baby sitter. Earlier in the day, my husband asked me where we should go. I promptly gave him 3 places I would like to go (sushi place, a fusion restaraunt, and a Mexican place). Baby sitter came, we got in the car where he gave me two choices, NEITHER of them were the ones I suggested. Why ask me if he’s just going to do what he wants anyway?
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Common Sense is Not Common Enough =-.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
He asked for your opinion – it would have been rude not to give it!
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Happiness is… =-.
Tricia says:
Men! ::insert eye roll here:: He asked….if he didn’t want to know then he should have just said “Hey, I’m ordering from here, what do you want?” You are SO right! Annie totally agrees too, she was saying it with her eyes hehehe xoxoxoxo
GreenInOC says:
1. Apply to be on “The Marriage Ref”. Score 1 point each.
2. Buca di Beppo is NOT Italian, it’s, I don’t know but it is, but it’s not Italian and it’s not food and it’s not good. Score 1 point for Heather (one for recognizing this and also for being willing to eat there in the name of love).
3. If Mike feels like asking people for their opinion holds too much sway for him he should not ask for people’s opinion’s unless he really, really, really wants it. Score 1 point for Heather.
4. Heather must surely know of this character trait of Mike’s. When Mike asks for an opinion in these circumstances, Heather’s response must be, “It’s not my day, it’s totally up to you.”. Score 1 for Mike.
5. Next time choose Sisely. Score 3 points for me for making an awesome suggestion.
6. Suggesting celebrating by having delivery and eating yummy food (as long as it isn’t delivered in styrofoam. Score 1 point for MIke.
It’s a 3-way tie. Hmmmm….
Refer back to #1 !!!!!
.-= GreenInOC´s last blog ..Watch "Food, Inc." =-.
Kate says:
I think the fear that Mike was operating under is that, if you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t be happy with it and might ultimately be disappointed in the result of what was supposed to be a really good evening for both of you. Ergo, he chose the thing that would make you happier so you could both enjoy yourself, though possibly to his detriment.
A lot of people do this. It’s sort of the “does this dress make my butt look big” quandary but with food: you said your real opinion and it made him alter his approach. If you had just said “sounds good!”, all would have been well.
I think couples should just not ask questions like that, about anything, ever.
Mary @ Holy Mackerel says:
Stupid men.
I think Mike was just trying to trap you because he was uncomfortable about being in charge, or something equally as inane. :o)
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Guess Where I Was =-.
Jordan says:
I am pretty sure I have been in this exact situation before. Mike is totally wrong (sorry Mike) he just should have picked one and never asked you! I love the jerk comment because I would have been annoyed if I said I didn’t prefer the restaurant and he ordered from there anyway! Even though it was his choice. Love your blog. First time commenting. I couldn’t resist!!
Erin says:
Nevah evah ask for an opinion if you don’t want the answer. Judgey Baby is right!
Laura says:
Dude. If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked for it!
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Epiphany-ish =-.
Chrisie says:
You told him that it was HIS CHOICE, you liked the other one better but its not like you said “that place is disgusting I hate it, I don’t want anything from there!” LOL Im gonna have to go with Heather on this one.
(((HUGS)))
Katrina says:
If it were me, unless it was food that I would not eat (like sushi — I’m not a fan of raw fish) — I would have said “sounds good” to whatever he suggested, even if he asked my opinion. Because I know my husband: even if it’s completely 100% his choice, he always wants to please me. So he would want my input. And knowing this, if I truly wanted it to be 100% HIS choice, I would have said, “sounds good” to whatever he suggested (unless, like I said, it was sushi — but see, he would never pick sushi because he knows I won’t eat it)
I think Mike was peeved because he knows that by asking your opinion, he messed up his chance to have 100% say-so over the food choice. Because like most husbands, he wants to please you. It’s deeply rooted into the core of his being. Can’t fight it, Mike. Deep down, you’re just a true gentleman. It’s not a bad thing.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Christmas Present =-.
Lindsey says:
I should disclose that I’m a Couple & Family Therapist before I weigh in here…
I agree that if Mike didn’t want to know (or feel pressure to consider) your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked for it. You handled his question diplomatically by giving your honest opinion but making it clear that the choice was still his and you would go along happily either way.
Sorry, Mike!
Darcie says:
He’s totally wrong! He shouldn’t ask your opinion just so he can hold it over your head later!
Besides, he narrowed it down to HIS two choices, it’s not like you were begging “please please please let’s get __________”
.-= Darcie´s last blog ..wiggle worm =-.
judi mitchell says:
you are TOTALLY right!
Lora says:
I think if Mike ate the leftovers, he can’t REALLLLLY be that upset about the choice of food. That said, next time I guess you will have to remain neutral since he has told you now he doesn’t really want your opinion if its his night to choose.
Congrats to Mike on his accomplishment, whatever it was! Maybe you should have a food do-over.
.-= Lora´s last blog ..One of those "I can’t take any more of this" kind of days =-.
Nina says:
My vote goes to you. He’s wrong – if he didn’t want your opinion, then he shouldn’t have been asking.
.-= Nina´s last blog ..Teen Mom =-.
Judy says:
I’m totally on your side. If he didn’t want your opinion he shouldn’t have asked for it And Annie clearly has your back on this one.
Diana says:
Don’t tell him I said so…but he’s acting like a lady. If you don’t want the answer, don’t ask the question!
Sorry Mike.
wordygirl says:
YOU are totally right. If he didn’t want your opinion, he was under no obligation to ask for it, BUT HE DID. He was then under no obligation to abide by it, BUT HE DID. You were honest and open, giving your opinion and then even reminding him that since it was his special day he didn’t have to agree with you. He was NOT open and honest, first asking for an opinion he didn’t really want and then pouting when your response wasn’t what he hoped for!
.-= wordygirl´s last blog ..The Curious Incident of the Spider in the Night-Time =-.
ali says:
annie and maddie furrow their brows and bite their lower lip in the exact same way and the shared concentration and determination just about makes me melt.
.-= ali´s last blog ..What’s Your Story? =-.
missy says:
Team Heather. Sorry Mike , but you did ask. And you better get used to being out voted, you live with all females.
Kate says:
HEY MIKE! Don’t ask questions that you may not like the answers to? Having been there many times myself….I understand. Sometimes dad’s don’t get it.
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Almost Single Parenting =-.
Adrienne says:
Sorry Heather, but I side with Mike. If we go with your logic then he gets to be totally honest the next time you ask if you look fat in something.
annie says:
He is wrong.
Baby is beautiful.
Glenda says:
LOL! it was his night to choose, he shouldn’t have asked for your opinion and since he asked that’s why you gave it to him. But it wasn’t what he wanted to hear I’m sure. Team Heather! and Annie is gorgeous!
Cheryl says:
Annie is beautiful! 1)he should not have asked, if your opinion was going to change his decision, 2)he should have made his own decision even though yours differed, 3)he should not have eaten your leftovers! You and Annie are RIGHT for so many reasons.
rachel cortest says:
I agree with Heather. And by the way, in case I have never mentioned it, that baby is BEAUTIFUL.
Anjie says:
Yes, he’s wrong. Hands down.
Veronika says:
Mike, Mike, Mike… ** sigh ** … you should know better than to ask your child’s mother for an opinion on your night. I feel bad for you, so bad, but you’re WRONG! Ha! Ha! Next time, just order what you want.
Veronika says:
Oh yeah! Gorgeous, gorgeous pic of Annie!
jacky says:
Clearly Mike should not have asked if he had a big preference. He should have simply said I want large restaurant and you would have said fine. And you did say the large restaurant was fine.
Annie you are so right to be with Mommy!! Sorry Mike
Amanda says:
Unwinnable
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..Angles of guile =-.
Heather@Triple Blessing says:
You’re so right.
.-= Heather@Triple Blessing´s last blog ..Friday Funnies =-.
Jess L. says:
Mike’s totally wrong. Either don’t ask, or Man Up and get what you want anyway.
Also, Annie makes balding look adorable and stylish. Just sayin’
Brianne says:
He’s a guy. Aren’t they always wrong?
Agnes says:
As a single person I say you are lucky to have each other. Don’t sweat the small stuff. (But you were right. You should be able to give your opinion and he should be strong enough to still do what he wants.)
Jennifer says:
Team Heather!!! You are so right! Men are just crazy!
Love love love the pic of Annie! She is more precious every day!
Issa says:
Oh how I miss LABite. Sigh. My favorite is Louise’s. Although it’s so much better if you go there.
Oh wait, what was the question? I’d go with, well you. If he didn’t want your opinion, he shouldn’t have asked. but once asked, then your opinion should count. Just sayin.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Monday rambling, because it’s what I do best =-.
Billie says:
The answer is clear. He shouldn’t have asked!
.-= Billie´s last blog ..Cycling Is Fun! =-.
Jenn says:
Can’t we all just get along?? jk.
That picture of Annie is sooo yummy!! What a beauty!
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..For my mom =-.
Ray says:
Well: since he ate all of the leftovers I say that, “you win!” Hehe. =P
And Annie makes one supah-dupah-cute judge! =D
Amy Collen says:
LOL! I side with Mike on this one actually :). Since he seemed like he really wanted the other restaurant, perhaps you should have just said fine (Amy ducking to avoid flaming, dirty diapers, and empty peanut butter jars). True, he shouldn’t have asked but perhaps he was just being considerate? (Amy ducking again) However, you shouldn’t feel too guilty since he ate all the leftovers. LOL! :). Um, and I kinda like Buca di Beppo (Amy running out of the room by this point).
Sara Maria says:
Im sorry Heather, I love the Spohrs but I just don’t care about your argument. You shouldnt have posted an absolutely delicious pic of Annie if you wanted me to care about anything else. Who’s with me??? :):)
Just kidding cause you were totally right. DONT ASK IF YOU DONT WANNA KNOW, SILLY MIKE!
.-= Sara Maria´s last blog ..Bachelors degree totin’ unemployed… =-.
Giselle says:
I think what should’ve happened is he asks, you tell him how you feel, and he says, well i really want A, so is it ok if we still get it? and you say of course! and then you get icky food from A.
I picked stuff that my boyfriend doesn’t want aaaaall the time. I just say ‘I know you don’t really like this but can we pleeeease get it?’ and he says yes. Men can be lovely that way.
Cheryl says:
Um, I actually have to go w/ Mike on this one.
Men want to do two things when it comes to life and especially when it comes to Their Woman…
1) WIN
and
2) Make Us Happy
There was no way he could win in this scenario (b/c you were NOT clear about what you wanted when you said the phrase men most dread, “I don’t care”)… So he did what he *thought* would make you happy. And it still didn’t make you happy, so he didn’t win, which for a man, is kind of the point.
Yes, they really are that single focused. And yes, it’s what *I* LOVE MOST ABOUT THEM…. how focused they are on making us happy. No. Matter. What.
I’d suggest that next time this kind of conversation happens, either tell him exactly what it is you want for dinner (b/c Heather, you DO have an opinion about that even if you don’t think you do — you’re a woman, how can you NOT have an opinion about what you wanna eat?), or, you get to be totally okay with letting him choose and then not have an opinion about it after the fact. At least not about the choice he made, because of course you can BOTH comment on whether or not the food was good, as long as it isn’t a mechanism by which you get to cut off his jewels for being “wrong” for choosing it in the first place.
Just saying.
Go Mike GO!
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Beachy West Seattle Afternoon =-.
Sue says:
I say that Mike is ………my GOD that is a cute kid! Look how adorable her little face is…..and her expression is priceless……
What was the question?
.-= Sue´s last blog ..Whaaaaaaa???? =-.
Cheryl says:
P.S. Ladies, I suggest you go back and read all your comments… there is a LOT of man bashing going on here, and it’s all over what Mike chose for dinner. Yikes!
I really wish we’d give up the right to castrate men over crap like this. Really, how is this helpful? It doesn’t build partnership w/ our men. It tears them down. And makes us shrews and bitches… and I don’t want to be a bitch. I want to be cherished, loved and respected. Can’t be any of those things if my guy is afraid I’m gonna call him an asshole or a jerk b/c he chose the “wrong” restaurant.
Btw, I don’t think this what HEATHER is saying about MIKE… It’s what I think some of you are saying about Mike, or your own men.
Again, yikes.
.-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Beachy West Seattle Afternoon =-.
Molly says:
I’m on your side but I have to admit I’m totally swayed by the darling picture of Annie!
Me says:
Happy wife… Happy life!
.-= Me´s last blog ..Apple Turnover =-.
Amy says:
Cutest. Picture. Ever
Katherine says:
OMG the picture just totally made that entire post. Love it all, esp her! So adorable.
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Solo Social Time =-.
Lisa says:
I see why he’d pick the one you like better, but shouldn’t have held it over you since he DID ask your opinion.
That is one beautiful baby photo.
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Letting It Flow =-.
Rebecca says:
I’m pretty sure we need to hear Annie’s take on how this ship went down.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Look What I Did =-.
Debbie says:
I just scanned through all the previous comments looking for ANYONE who would agree with Mike in this situation. I just don’t get it. Is there some subtle way he thought he was asking your opinion while sending off the signal, “Don’t actually give me your opinion”?!
Personally I go with 100% “I believe what you say to me.” Don’t tell me you don’t want a birthday party if you secretly want a birthday party. Don’t ask “Does this look good” if you’re going to be broken hearted by me saying, “It’s not my favorite.” Don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want my opinion! (The only exception is asking comfort questions for which the answer is clearly unknowable and thus a kind lie is warranted, such as asking, “Will everything be okay?”)
If he chose to be overly swayed by your opinion in the name of “politeness,” that’s his option and a perfectly fine choice … except he doesn’t then get to complain about it! So much for politeness!
He is so clearly WRONG, he’s the king of WRONGVILLE. I bow to King Mike.
Deidre says:
Love that baby! Scrumptous!
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..End The Funeral With A Wedding =-.
Al_Pal says:
Great photo!
I’m definitely a believer in, “Don’t ask questions that you don’t really want to hear the answer to”…of course, I’m not usually thinking takeout on that, but it applies here too. ;D
Skye says:
Heather is right. She didn’t bug Mike to pick a restaurant she wanted- she only offered her opinion when asked. You can’t ask someone’s opinion and then get annoyed when they give it!