I got my hair cut. I still go to a place in my old neighborhood because I love my stylist. She was totally booked this week but rearranged some things to squeeze me in yesterday, because she knows that I haven’t felt that great the last few months (I might have fainted in her chair a few months ago…good times.).
I showed her how much I wanted cut off, and then she got to it.
That’s a lotta hair that’s no longer on my head.
She dried it and styled it and it feels great, much healthier.
I’m pointing to my former length, not my boob.
In the car on the way home, I hit traffic (always traffic, damn you LA) and my mind wandered. I’m 28 weeks pregnant, just a few days away from Madeline’s gestational age when she was born. I’m stressed out. I started to go down thought paths that weren’t great. So in an attempt to yank my brain out of the abyss, I decided I hated my hair cut.
I came home and cried about it.
Then Annie came over to me and said, “Mama, where’d your hair go?”
I cried about it while I ate a sugar-free, low-carb, high-protein dinner.
I cried about it while that dinner came back up a few minutes later.
When I put Annie to bed, she patted my hand and said, “It’s okay, mama.”
I sat on the couch and felt stupid for crying about my hair. I don’t hate it.
But yesterday, it was easier to say I did.
Alexandra says:
Thinking of you and your lovely family Heather.
Lynda says:
I LOVE your hair cut!! it really is flattering and lovely
Oana79 says:
It will be okay. Fear will always be there, I suppose but you can choose to declare life and a full-term baby boy this time. Not a “wish it better” sort of attitude but trusting in the Maker. God can do it, wait till you see :-). I will keep you and your baby in my prayers. And by the way, your hair looks great!
Tam. says:
Your hair looks fabulous and so do you!
Mammasaurus says:
Boob pointing aside (heh heh) you look fab. I had all mine cut off last week in a fundraising stylee and having gone from long to ‘boy short’ I’m really struggling to like it. It will grow on me – literally I’m sure but it takes a lot of getting used to.
Although like you I am loving the new, super condition of it!
defendUSA says:
Your hair is bee-u-tiful!! You look refreshed and ready!
Sue says:
It really looks beautiful on you, Heather!
Autumn Canter says:
Your hair looks great cut. As you said, much healthier.
You have every right to be upset. Your body and mind are under so much stress. I am sending good vibes to you to get you over this next milestone! You are so so close to being done and he is almost here!
Tracy says:
Your hair looks amazing!
AlisonC says:
I just realised that this is your natural hair colour and I might hate you a teeny bit for that! I spend lots of time and money to get may hair that colour. You look gorgeous.
Heather says:
oh, it’s greatly enhanced!
Jenn says:
Hi Sweetheart,
When I read your post this morning, I wanted to just take you in my arms & comfort you. This is a difficult time in your pregnancy and you’re heading into an even MORE difficult time – I know but please know Heather, you are NOT alone in your Fear and/or Sorrow!!! It will be okay!!
I love your hair and it will be even that much easier once baby boy gets her. I’m so glad you like it.
There is just so much to look forward too but I kno=w that doesn’t take away the hurt of the past and the reality of the present and future…..I just really wish it did.
Remember I am ALWAYS here for you…although I am 3 hrs a head of you please know all you have to do is text or e-mail & I will be there to support you in cyber space!!!
Sending you a BIG Hug & much Love!!! xoxo
Shea says:
Even though it’s not really about your hair, it does look beautiful. I’m sorry you’re struggling emotionally — you are getting so close and your little boy is almost here!
Nellie says:
Ohh, your hair looks Fabulous! You have the face that can go either short or long…I envy that.
Sending you lots of love, hugs and happiness to touch you today and every day!
By the way, thanks for explaining the picture of you pointing – I honestly thought at first that you were pointing to the color on your shirt and was getting nothing by way of explaining that in my head.
AmyG says:
I love it! I’m sorry you’re dealing with a lot emotionally right now.
alimartell says:
I cry every time I get a haircut, even if I like it…and I keep my dinners down most nights. So what I’m saying is, cry. CRY woman. God knows you deserve it. But just know that your hair looks lovely.
Jen D. says:
Thinking of you.
(You’re hair looks FAB by the way!)
Lisa says:
I glad you cleared up the pointing to your boob thing I totally thought you were and wondered why LOL. Your hair looks great the color looks amazing. I felt sad for you and wished I could just give you a hug.
Ya know you look SKINNY for being 28 weeks. with that new hair cut you are looking fantastic!
Johanna says:
Your hair looks great!
Steph says:
You obviously weren’t crying about your hair ’cause it looks absolutely beautiful! This point of the pregnancy must be extra hard. Sometimes we just have to cry. Wishing you much peace and love.
Lisa says:
Obviously I know it wasn’t about your hair, but I must say, it looks beautiful! So healthy!
And I’m sure The Acrobat is too! Deep breaths – as little stress as possible is best for you both!
Erin Christine says:
Thinking of you Heather! Your haircut is gorgeous. For some reason when I saw the first picture, I immediately thought of a Princess Merida wig.
Sending positive vibes your way for the safe arrival of your son, and for your health. Hugs for the entire Spohr family:-) xoxoxo
Julie says:
I have been thinking about your beautiful Madeline so much lately. My daughter was born at the same gestation as Madeline. I totally understand this week being really unsettling and sort of panicky, the whole trying-to-stay-above-water feeling. I really wish you peace and calm.
Anyway, I read days and days worth of posts about her and admired tons of pictures…she was just walking “Joy” (note capital J). That smile of hers still lights up my heart. And yes, your hair is gorgeous.
Lisa says:
Hugs, Heather. Thinking about all of you.
Your hair looks great by the way.
giselle says:
Oh Heather. I’m so sorry. Thinking about you. Your hair looks great, but I understand that it’s easier to hate it and cry about it when you need to cry about something.
Christina says:
I have cried over so many things that were not really the things I wanted/needed to cry about. I just needed to cry. Sometimes it’s good to let it out.
Elizabeth McKinney says:
You look gorgeous!! Your haircut is fab. I’m sorry that everything is so stressful. Not only the 28 week milestone, but I know this time of year is always so hard. I’ll be praying for you!
DHall says:
Coming out of Lurkdom to tell you that you look gorgeous, younger, beautiful!
Glenda says:
Your hair looks perfect! Healthy and the color radiates! Thinking of you, Maddie and Mr. Acrobat. xo
Courtney says:
You look beautiful, your haircut is lovely. Thinking of you and wishing another 10 weeks of pregnancy on you.
Casey P says:
Yep, you hair looks fabulous! Very stylish and healthy. You’ve been through a LOT. In life and in this pregnancy. And feeling sick all the time must just take it’s toll Hoping you feel better, have a healthy pregnancy, and love that rockin’ new cut!
Miriam says:
Love the hair cut and I suspect you will too.
Plus, if you really really do hate it, the great thing about hair is it grows back. If all problems were solved that easily
Stephanie says:
Sometimes hate is the easiest emotion to feel, all the while being the emotion least justified.
Feel better, Heather! All of your supporters are behind you.
Tara says:
You look gorgeous!
Trisha says:
I love it. The layers look great and as the weather warms up I’m sure it will be so much easier on you to manage.
Sending you lots of love and prayers as you soar through the rest of this pregnancy and meet the new man in your life!
Leslie K says:
Your hair looks great! So healthy and full and lovely! I’m sorry that you had a hard day. Hoping and praying for peaceful, happy days for you!
wendy says:
Your hair looks great
monica says:
LOVE your haircut! Gorgeous. Praying for you & sending you hugs.
Julie says:
Hair looks great. But can we talk about that iPhone cover? Where did you get that???????????? I want!
Heather says:
It’s from http://www.casetagram.com/, I loooove mine and my mom loves hers, too!
S says:
I absolutely love your haircut.
And maybe I’m nuts, but if saying you hate your haircut helps cope with all the other stress, then go for it. All of us will keep telling you how fantastic it looks (it really does…I wish my hair looked half that good right now!).
Katrina says:
I seriously thought you were pointing at your boob. So after looking at your right boob, I looked at your hair. I really like it! Really, really. You seriously have the best hair.
Auntie_M says:
Oh honey! I’m so sorry! But how great to have something to blame the tears on besides the real reason??? (Nothin’ like a little denial or playing mind games with one’s self every once in a while!)
But your hair does look lovely. And you’ve made it past 28 weeks now, I believe.
And Baby Boy is still in there cookin’ away. Phew!
An there is really nothing like a good cry sometimes, is there?
xoxo
Auntie_M says:
Also, admit it: you are totally just randomly pointing to your boob!
Ashley says:
Let me start off by saying your haircut is super sassy! I love that length on you!
I’m a hairdresser and a few years ago I started a rule with my clients. If you’re planning a wedding or are pregnant, big changes to your hair are not allowed. It may sound harsh, but I know how it can be when life gets crazy. I’ve been a hairdresser long enough to know that people take out their frustrations on their hair. Not in a bad way necessarily, but I think everyone just hopes that a new cut or color will cover the other stresses that invade your daily everything, when in reality, it does nothing but aggravate them. Plus, then you’re bummed about missing your pre-haircut hair.
Maybe have a hair-do-dad styling party with Annie? Because toddler hairdressers = awesome!
Jessica says:
The cut is so cute. My triplets only made it to 28 weeks too and, when pregnant with my rainbow baby, I was an anxious mess the whole time. He made it to 34 weeks and did great, hoping for the same for you.
gorillabuns says:
I get it. I’ve been yelling at my husband about everything and anything. So many angry words. WE all know why I am so angry.
I fucking hate this time of year.
Heather says:
I have been thinking about you, S. I hate it, too.
Michael says:
You look beautiful.