This past Saturday was the moment I’ve been waiting for for eight long months…Britney Spears in Las Vegas. And it was…exactly what I expected.
I’ve actually seen Britney in concert a few times before this. In 2000 I was interning for a record label that had one of her opening acts on its roster. I wasn’t a fan of hers at the time, but I was won over by her kindness and work ethic. Plus, the girl could dance. Her show was a spectacle – I’d never seen anything like it. Her dance moves were crisp and precise, and her vocals were as good as the recordings…you know, because they usually were the recordings.
Since then, Britney has been my guilty pleasure and I’ve always rooted for her. I watched her spiral through postpartum depression with dismay, but was thrilled to watch her get her life and career back together. She lives not far from me and several of my friends have seen her out and about with her kids, doing normal family stuff. She’s just like us. Except, you know, she’s a zillionaire and is one-name famous.
So anyway! Mike’s co-workers and friends thought it was hilarious that Mike was going to a Britney Spears show. I personally thought it was about time he went to a big party-concert where everyone is dancing and having a crazy time. YOLO and all that.
I spent two hours getting ready, because I had no children around, and also because Britney demands greatness. When we arrived at the theatre the lobby was full of bachelorette parties posing with iconic Britney costume displays.
We walked past her merchandise stand, where just about every article of clothing included the word “Bitch.”
So…nothing that I could bring back for the kids.
Mike and I posed for a picture before we went down to our seats.
Right before the show started, I told Mike that I’d just seen this was Britney’s second show back after a summer break. “Oh good, then her voice will be fresh,” he replied. Side-eye.
When the lights went down, the crowd went crazy. Mike shouted into my ear, “This is fun, I’ve never been to a screamy concert before!” Double side-eye.
Britney came out and started doing her thing, and I watched her thinking, “Damn, she looks amazing.” She’s in fabulous shape and definitely didn’t look like she’d eaten to the point of illness at the buffet that morning like I had.
But besides noticing Brit’s hot bod, I also noticed that she seemed a little…sluggish. Almost like she’d forgotten some of her dance moves over her long hiatus. She still looked good but she just wasn’t crisp. She seemed half a beat behind sometimes. But no disrespect, Britney. I get it. I have two kids, too. I’m always tired and when I dance I look like a baby learning how to walk. The good news for me is that my job doesn’t rely on my dancing ability. Lucky for Britney, she has her singing to fall back on OH WAIT.
Yeah, she did not sing live. At all. When I went to all those shows back in the day, Britney always sang her ballads live on a handheld mic. Maybe she still does that in her residency shows but she didn’t on the night we went…or if she did, she has a magical microphone that eliminates the sound of a person breathing really hard after dancing. Hey, we put a man on the moon, we probably can invent a microphone that can do that.
But let me tell you something. You don’t go to a Britney Spears show to hear her sing live. You go for the
dancing production! And her show was really, really amazing. Tons of costume changes, amazing sets, and fantastic backup dancers.
It was 85 minutes of non-stop hits and I was on my feet dancing and singing along almost the entire time. At one point I thought, “Surely Mike will be enjoying himself and not have his Very Serious Concert Face on…”
Mike also took pictures of me on the sly.
I had so much fun. If you love Britney, you’ll love her show. If you don’t love Britney, WHY DON’T YOU LOVE BRITNEY? Really though, if you’re looking for good singing and audience banter, go down the street to see Celine Dion. If you want to dance like crazy and feel like you’re in an extended episode of Total Request Live, Britney’s your gal.