I went to Target today. Mike, Maddie and I are going out of town this weekend, so I needed to pick up some essentials – sun screen, a bathing suit for Maddie, and a bathing suit for myself. I hate buying bathing suits. In the past, I’ve just walked into Target or Old Navy, grabbed some tops and bottoms, and try them all on at home. I don’t like to spend a lot of money on bathing suits, and I HATE trying them on under the icky lighting in the women’s dressing room. But, this was the first time I attempted to purchase a bathing suit post-baby. I knew I had to try on suits.
I walked through the bathing suit section at Target, past the hoochie suits from my days of yore, and starting pawing through the “mature” section. Eventually I found a set of bottoms WITHOUT A SKIRT that looked like they would actually cover all the real estate of my rear, and a tankini thing to help camouflage my stomach.
Maddie and I took my purchased back to the dressing room. The attendant let us use the family dressing room right in the front, allowing me to leave Maddie in the grocery cart. I tried on the bathing suit, and I said to Maddie, “This looks okay, but the waist hits right in the middle of my muffin top and makes it look weeeerd.” Maddie chimed in by shouting, “ba ba BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.” She clearly agreed.
I changed back into my clothes and walked out of the dressing room. The attendant was RIGHT outside my door. She said, “so, those didn’t really work for you? Did you need a bigger size?” I looked at her, realized she’d been listening to me talking to Maddie, and said, “Why would you say that? These are fine. Thanks.” Then she sort of maneuvered so she was in my way. She looked at Maddie and said, “Oh, your baby is so cute. She’s what? Four months old?”
Listen. I KNOW my kid is small. But if you look at her face, she does NOT look like a four month old. She was four months old once (twice, even, if you count her adjusted age). When she was four months old, she was blobby. Now she talks and can SIT UP. End Sidebar.
Instead of being sarcastic, I gave my usual standard reply of, “no. She’s actually sixteen months old, but she was premature so she’s on the small side.”
The attendant shook her head at me and said, “Oh hon, you should tell people she’s four months old, then you have an excuse for this,” AND THEN SHE POKED MY BELLY!
I felt like time stood still. It got really quiet. I looked at her and said, “Did you just touch me?” And then the attendant laughed. “oh hon, I had four kids, you’re NEVER going to loose that belly fat, especially if you have more kids!” I stood there with my mouth hanging open. “Wow, well I hope if I have more kids I don’t lose my tact.”
Look. I have had a little belly pooch forever. It predates my kid, I had it even when I was 115 pounds and a size zero. My pregnancy has made it a bit more exaggerated but, eh. It’s my body and I realized a long time ago that I was never going to have a flat belly. But seriously lady? It’s not like I was wearing a tight silk shirt or something. It wasn’t my MOST flattering shirt, but it certainly wasn’t my LEAST flattering shirt either. And yes, I am TOTALLY sucking in in these pictures – just like I do when I’m in public!
I got ass for MIIIIILES!
Even though I joked about it on the twitter, it didn’t actually bother me that much. While I’m still not really happy with where my body is, I KNOW I’m not fat. I just had to laugh at the audacity of that woman. WHO just POKES the stomach of a total stranger? And I know what you’re wondering – she was in her late 60’s and at least 60 pounds overweight. I should have poked HER in the stomach to see how she liked it.
Still, in the last two weeks I’ve been called old and fat. What could possibly be next? I need to prepare myself.
Paul U says:
don’ be too hard on yourself. I don’t think that you are that fat.
Paul Us last blog post..The TV that blogging bought
Maria says:
That is SHOCKING, dude. I can’t believe anyone ESPECIALLY A RETAIL CLERK WHO SHOULD THEORETICALLY NOT BE A CUNT WHILE WORKING would say that. God.
I would have died.
You look fine. Not fine as in adequate but fine is in fine.
Marias last blog post..when I grow up
Fiesty Charlie says:
Babe…. you are smokin’ hot!
Sounds to me like there are people in the world of all genders and age groups having a hard time keeping their paws of that smokin’ hot body of yours…
Did I mention you are smokin’ hot and that Mike… is the luckiest bastard to ever walk the earth? He should so be groveling at your smokin’ hot feet… because babe… your WHOLE body is smokin’ hot!
{grin}
I adore you and love the pictures, but where is your beautiful face?
I can’t say I wouldn’t find a way to poke you, if I were around you for more than a minute… lol
Jen says:
um….wow…there really aren’t words for that kind of a “shopping experience” this just further reinforces my “try it on at home” process.
ps I think you look great!
Jens last blog post..Sometimes you just need a smile
Tiffany says:
I’m 125 and still have the poochy belly, my second child is 15 months old. I even got called pregnant by a lady waaaaaayyyy fatter than me. YOU look great! You should’ve slapped her. And she’s an idiot for thinking Maddie is 4 months old, she clearly is over a year.
Amazing Greis says:
Wow, I can’t believe she totally poked a stranger. I don’t care how old you are, if I don’t know you, your finger better not come within inches of my belly fat.
P.S. You are so.not.fat!
Amazing Greiss last blog post..The Biggest Loser; I will not be…
catnip says:
Well you are neither old nor fat, and she is clearly crazy. I’m pretty sure I’d have told her manager what she did, but I’m mean that way!
catnips last blog post..you gotta love Miis
maya says:
Dude, you know you are beautiful. You are perfect just the way you are- you are not fat, nor old. I can say this because we have met in person.
I hate how older women think they can say whatever they want. Some people just dont have tact- just like when I wa sin Israel 6months post giving birth and everyone said to me “wow, you gained weight”- umm, really? I did just have twions 6 months ago!….. people are retarded.
Danes says:
Your belly and butt look just like mine and I don’t have the ‘excuse’ of having been pregnant. So, that means in my book – you look just like other never-been-pregnant before women and why didn’t you CUT HER?!? If it had been me I’d have burst into tears because I’m a wimp like that. You’re hhhhhhot, mama.
Amy says:
Oh my gosh!
Are you serious?
What the heck, you do not look fat, at all.. I have way worse stomach fat then you do. AND i am getting married in 3 months.
I would of went straight to the manager. You don’t tell that to a woman who just tried on a swimsuit.
Amys last blog post..Broadway
Lisa says:
Not even close to fat, you look beautiful. As for that clerk, well some people just have no tact and should not work in retail. It’s a good thing she doesn’t work on commission!!
Lisas last blog post..mysqlerror
ali says:
my belly predates my babies too…i had it when i was 96 pounds at my wedding. i have it now. seriously…if someone poked me in the belly i would NOT have been as kind as you. or maybe i would have but there would have been LOTS OF TEARS.
people need to learn there’s such a thing as TACT.
ShellyD says:
Holy crap girl what’s with the rude salespeople you keep encountering? Funny story though, and by the way, I think you look great!
ShellyDs last blog post..The Ultimate Bachelor Pad
AMomTwoBoys says:
That’s it. I’m coming down there and we’re going shopping. I need to be there when the next event occurs.
AMomTwoBoyss last blog post..Rob Corddry Called Me a Whore*
Tricia says:
Oh.My.God. Are you freaking kidding me?? I will go to that Target and kick that lady in the shin!
You are NOT fat….I saw you, you look great.
Old people are looney tunes, it’s a known fact.
Wanna tie her to a tree and throw bologna at her? I’m down.
Jen in Maryland says:
Seriously? What is wrong with people? I wouldn’t have handled that situation nearly as well as you did – and I’ve got quite the paunchy belly after 2 babies. I would have poked her right back and asked her what her excuse was for caring around all her extr weight. You look great!
Mama Bub says:
I really can’t believe some people are allowed outside without handlers. I’ve never been the kind of person with a super flat tummy either – pre-baby even. But, I wasn’t then and still don’t consider myself FAT. SO many people have no tact. Before baby, I was asked by MULTIPLE parents of my students on MULTIPLE occasions if I was pregnant. And that was in a body I would kill to have now.
I’ve been avoiding the Target bathing suit section, even though I know by the time I need one all that will be left are the hoochie suits.
Mama Bubs last blog post..Up Next: Total World Domination
Daddy Dan says:
Let’s see……old and fat….the only insulting thing you’re missing is either ugly or stupid. (And I’m just trying to think of insulting things you’re NOT, like old and fat.)
Daddy Dans last blog post..Getting Organized with Toodledo
Daddy Dan says:
And by the way, your tummy’s looking FLAT in that last picture. Maybe your big round booty is just making it look like that in comparison.
Daddy Dans last blog post..Getting Organized with Toodledo
Sarah says:
I would have poked her back and said “Tee Hee” in my most annoyingly, spot-on, Pillsbury Dough Boy voice and then walked away.
BTW, you look great!
ms. changes pants while driving says:
you should have poked her in the EYE, then kicked her in the SHIN, then given her a wedgie.
ms. changes pants while drivings last blog post..Earth Hour 2009
Della says:
Laughing out loud at Sarah’s Pillsbury Dough Boy comment…. I think that’s the best response. But that’s not why I scrolled down here to comment…. I want to know why people think they can get away with being rude to you all the time!?
As for your pictures… you have a FINE bootay (and i don’t mean like “it’s okay” i mean like woowoo!) and also, cleavage? which means men will never even see your stomach, which, by the way, at least doesn’t look re-pregnant like mine does.
Which is horribly awful because I actually AM re-pregnant but not showing yet. But I LOOK like I’m showing, because of the belly fat which has accumulated in the perfect pregnant belly location and on mah THUNDERTHIGHS ™ and fanny. At work, I have to not wear pregnancy shirts because they’ll start getting suspicious. At the grocery store, I wear the preg shirts and flaunt it because hey, it’s not too early to start getting special treatment, right? but then… I remember… they’re treating me pregnant because I am so fat I look pregnant, not because I am so PREGNANT that I look pregnant. Depressing.
So the point is, kudos for your not fat, but lightly padded in my opinion, belly.
Dellas last blog post..Response to HBM, again
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach says:
And you didn’t drop-kick the nice lady? I admire your restraint!
Can’t believe someone would say that to you!! Wow.
Rudeness is never right at all. Did you comment to the store manager?
Barbara Ling, Virtual Coachs last blog post..Trampoline fitness even an elephant can do
Maura says:
I have to agree — Sarah’s response is the best. LOVE it.
But you didn’t answer the most obvious and pressing question: Did you buy the suit after all? Or did you just go buy a case of the “diet Coke of shame”?
Mauras last blog post..Since You Weren’t There
Amy says:
Some of these comments are cracking me up! The “re-pregnant” comment had me LMAO!
I am like you, had a little pooch Pre-BABIES at 95 lbs. I will NEVER have a flat stomach!!! No matter how many damn jack knife excercises I do on the Wii fit!
I think you look great and your stomach is WAY flatter than mine and I am 7 1/2 years post partum!!!!
Patti B. says:
um…WTF?
Becky says:
You are hot. And I will cut that bitch.
(I have a pooch too. Always will. Well, until I get my tummy tuck. WHICH I AM SO GETTING).
Beckys last blog post..White Matter
Issa says:
I think we should just work on what the next thing could be. Then, we can all help you have a quick response in your head. My problem is, I come up with great responses to rudeness….about a half hour too late.
Midwest Mommy says:
I am just so shocked that people actually have the nerve to say something like that. She probably just wanted to put you down to make herself feel better. I still say boo on her.
Midwest Mommys last blog post..Dinner-FAIL!
Molly says:
Ahhhhhhhh, how obnoxious. but yes, that was a great response. and you look awesome! my mom always says she’s trying to lose the “baby weight”, but then points out that I, her baby, am 20
I worked in retail and one day a woman came in with her daughter, who was a little younger than me. I was like 17. She goes “Excuse me, what jeans are you wearing? I think they’d look good on my daughter. She has big legs just like you do!”
I said “I’ll go grab those for you” and was like um what?
then she made me go into the dressing room and give her daughter my opinion, cuz you know, us big legged girls, we gotta stick together!
Amy says:
Wow. People really need to learn boundaries. I loved telling people that my youngest had almost quadrupaled in size since birth when they questioned his size. Shut them up while they tried to figure that one out.
Amys last blog post..Things I learned at Disneyland
Kristin says:
In general, people are rude, stupid and ignorant. I don’t know why people think they can say and do anything they want.
Seriously~I think it’s a letter to Target time.
You. Are wonderful. Don’t let them get you down.
Kristins last blog post..The Good Stuff
Erin says:
seriously Heather… you are HOT!. that woman can suck it;).
Erins last blog post..Today’s Pick-Me-Up
Domestic Extraordinaire says:
I would have so asked to speak with the manager. You are HAWT! I can’t believe she said that to you.
I am glad that you took it in stride and didn’t really let it bother you, but where is common courtesy-it seems to have flown out the window lately.
HUGS!
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Wordless Wednesday-The Warm Glow of the T.V. Edition
Sharon says:
Oh.My.Gawd. Seriously?!?! I would have burst out in tears then smacked the $h!t out of her. She had NO right to say or do anything.
Swim suit shopping is the worst, especially post-baby. I’ve been putting it off for a while but like you need to brave the store soon.
You look great, she can kiss it.
mommymae says:
fuck that noise. you look fabulous, whether you had a baby 4 months ago, 16 months ago, or never.
mommymaes last blog post..new music monday xvi
Nakia says:
Seriously? Who *does* that? That’s almost worse than walking up to a pregnant woman and rubbing her belly. You look great.
Nakias last blog post..What the French(toast)?
MazingAmy says:
Oh MAN! I’ve never had a baby (yet) and I get asked on a weekly basis when I’m due. Um, the boobs, they are real. And the tummy, is, well, about as “big” as yours in that pic, which is to say, NOT BIG AT ALL.
I can’t even be NICE about it anymore when it happens. It happened when I was a size 6 (and dd) and it happens now at a 10 (and dd) and I am btw 5’9. So whatever.
You look neither Old nor Fat. People are stooopid.
patois says:
Further proof — as if we needed any more — that Target “associates” are not paid on commission.
patoiss last blog post..Great Expectations
Amanda says:
OK so….I am at work and for some reason the evil work computer isn’t letting me see your pics. But seriously, I don’t care what you look like, that woman was a stupid bitch!!!! Who does that???? Wow!
Elizabeth Barrette says:
Some people are just rude, but your “tact” comment was great!
A soft belly is considered attractive in Turkish culture. It goes with the dance style; you need something to roll with.
Elizabeth Barrettes last blog post..Three Questions: HR 875
kate aka the bossy yankee says:
In no way would I ever think you are fat! People never really shock me but to touch someone else and to make a remark about their weight is just rude. I mean really who the hell touches people! Yikes!
I am shocked both those women still have jobs talking to customers that way!
Have a great weekend!
Susan says:
Holy shit!!! Thankfully, you responded appropriately to her instead of knocking her out. Which, by the way would have been appropriate, too.
Susans last blog post..Spring has sprung
Bonnie says:
Oh no she di’ent! I don’t care how old, out of shape or bored you are working as a dressing room attendant, you DO NOT poke the belly on anyone! What world does she come from??
Screw her and go wear your bathing suit this weekend and know that no one looks at you anyway when you’re with kids as cute as yours!
RookieMom Whitney says:
I don’t even know what to say. You look great. The baby looks perfect. The woman is crazy.
RookieMom Whitneys last blog post..I am truly in love with my Oxo Travel Mug
Peggy says:
I don’t know what is funnier, your story or those pictures! (love the laundry girl!)
Peggys last blog post..Silly Me!
Sara says:
I think you look great.. I question everything I wear each day for fear of someone accidentally calling me pregnant or fat. I do this because I will kill them if they make the mistake. Anyway, thanks for making me laugh. I love reading your blog.. I can write similar posts often!
Joe @ Irrational Dad says:
I don’t know how to feel or what to say. I want to laugh at your post. I want to be angry at the lack of tact of the stupid employee (and I normally LOVE Target). I want to join the hordes of people that have already told you that you’re totally smokin’. RAWR.
Joe @ Irrational Dads last blog post..Little Blog on the Prairie