Four years ago, I wrote about the time I had Glamour Shots taken. I knew there was a sheet of proofs floating around somewhere, but my mom and I couldn’t find them. I worried the hilarity was lost forever…and then last week I stumbled across the proof sheet in some of my old photo boxes. YAY! These might be the best/funnest pictures taken of me ever. I just laugh and laugh looking at them because I look so different. I look like I’m forty in the pictures, but I was freshly fourteen years old. When I showed the proof sheet to Annie she said, “Who’s that?” Exactly.
Annie pointed to the third one from the left and said, “I like that one.” Which is interesting because that’s the one my parents chose to blow up all huge and display by their front door. I really can’t believe they didn’t pick the second picture. Who doesn’t want to look at a faux-sexy fourteen-year-old as they walk out the door?
The second picture! OMG. What is even happening?! I am too young to show that much shoulder. The first picture I look like a dear in the headlights. And in the third picture, I kind of look like I might key your car.
Nothing can even compare to the cowboy hat/pleather bedazzled jacket combo. Nothing.
Again with the weird faux-sexy face. My hair is pretty rad, though. I wish it was still naturally that color.
I love these photos, but I do wish there were some nice studio portraits of me taken without all that hair and makeup, to show Annie someday. Ha, I just googled it and Glamour Shots is still around! I think taking Annie there would be hilarious, especially if they gave her giant hair.
Oh, Heather. There are no words. Aaaaaahahaha. 14?! 14?!
I did something similar when I was about 17 and the results were… not good.
Becca Masters says:
I had mine done when I was 8. I don’t look 8 at all!!!
Can’t believe you were 14!
Scary how older they make you look!!! But I suppose it was all good fun at the time!
My parents also have ones of me round the home. As does my grandma, my aunt and recently my grandad did.
I think I may have a few clips on my Facebook page. *goes off in search*
Ooof. My mom thought it would be a wonderful idea for her, my sister, and I to have Glamour Shots done together, and give them to my father as a gift for his birthday or Father’s Day or something, I don’t remember what. I was like…9, maybe 10? Please imagine, if you will, a 10 year old with giant Jersey hair and more makeup than a drag queen. We laugh now, but wow, it was not good. I especially love the red cowgirl ensemble, btw.
U remind me of Stevie nicks here
I was just thinking the same thing!
You are so rad. That is all.
Erin Christine says:
So at first glance, I thought you were wearing a wig…your hair is huge, it practically defies gravity but my gosh it is gorgeous! No wonder you’ve always had a love for hair/long hair! I am soo jealous!!! And I can’t believe you were 14. You have been beautiful through all stages of your life! I think I met today’s quota for exclamation points!!
These are hilarious!!! Aside from the cheesy poses and 90’s outfits, I have to say that I’m loving your hair color….you suit blonde
these are amazing. My grandmother took me to get glamour shots done when I was about 7 or 8 and when we found them several years later, realized I looked exactly like JonBenet Ramsey. scary.
I’m trying to decide which is cheesier (in a good way!): these shots or you singing the Debbie Gibson song with the arm movements.
I LOVE that you can laugh at yourself, Heather. This is fantastic!
Too funny! Glad u found these treasures!! Will we see these on Ellen??
Great hilarity!! I never had Glamour Shots, but heck, I never looked that super at 14 anyway! Yes love you as a blonde, you should try it again someday
Whatever you do, do NOT do a google image search for glamour shots. I am frightened.
My mom took me to get them done around the same age, and they convinced her to get some, too. There is one where we are in bright blue pleather jackets BACK TO BACK doing the collar grab. I’m pretty sure this picture is still in my parent’s bedroom.
Thank you for so much joy on a ho-hum thursday morning!
Love that you found these and were willing to share them with us. I’m getting the giggles picturing your precious little girl with big Glamour Shots hair.
O. M. to the G ya’ll!!! Those are classic! I always wanted to do them but, alas, it was never meant to be! Yes, I am wondering why G.S. is so obsessed with the “collar grab”…too funny. Your true beauty still manages to shine through, despite G.S.’ best efforts to cover up (ie, huge hair and lots of make up on a natural beauty). Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing these with us!
It’s a shame all their outfits had such heavy collars that you had to hold up. Heh.
In the first picture in the last group you look just like Stevie Nicks!
Kate Schade says:
These pictures are AWESOME!
The cowboy hat and jacket! Priceless. I can’t believe it’s you, and I can not believe you’re only 14 in these photos. Just awesome.
Wow… what are you doing with your collar?!
Marin D says:
I was 13 when I did Glamour Shots. Cheesy? Yes. But I loved them. And honestly, I still do. I would love to do it again as an adult. My aunt had something like them done when she was 40 (about 20 years ago) and they were less cheesy but gorgeous. I would love someone to do my hair and makeup and have a fun photo shoot. Love your photos.
OMG, I did these at 17. I came home and my 70 year old aunt, who is a nun, told me I looked like a hooker. LOLOLOLOL
OMG, I would’ve been so envious (perhaps I am a little..). When I was 14 I wanted Glamour Shots SO badly but my mom wouldn’t get them for me. And I just knew, KNEW, that if I could get them, the love of my life (the cute boy that sat next to me in math) would instantly fall in love with me when he saw how HOT I was.
Basically my mom ruined my life.
Too funny. I had so many friends that had them done, but I never did. I almost wish I had.
Love the pictures- too funny!
The HANDS. THE HANDS. Why did they have people take pictures like that haha. These are awesome!
I think senior photos is pretty much the same a glamour shots half the time! I love how you are rocking the sprayed up 80s bangs.
Amazing hair and such great skin. My 14yo self is jealous.
French Cannes Cannes says:
Oh yeah you did! AMAZING. Props to you – and to all that collar poppin you got going on…;-)
You should send these into the Ellen show. She does a segment about these.
ok. i’m done.
PLEASE submit to Awkward Family Photos!
Oh my god it’s Robin Sparkles!
A lot of these shots seem to be saying “I’m very concerned about my collar/lapels.”
I LOVE how you just could.not.let.go of that collar! LOL Thanks for the laugh, that was sooo funny. You looked amazing though.
OMG! You were only fourteen??? You do look very mature…
Your bangs are bad ass. Also, the person I pictures when I saw row 2 was Tori from Saved By The Bell.
OMG – I have the same black leather coat pictures & poses! Except you look much more fabulous than I did! I was 19 and took these for my now husband. My faves (insert MUCH sarcasm) ended up being where I was wearing this big green number (think floofy 80’s prom dress) and my hair is all up high, with big clunky jewelry. Think Chiquita banana babe.
Thank you for posting these – you just reminded me I need to hide these from my children. They are teens, these pics could be a valuable weapon against me.
Hahaha! This is great. I can’t believe you are only 14 in these pics. I came across this link today and was cracking up too. Lots of glamour shots. Thankfully you were not included!
Oh woooow lol! You must send those to the Ellen show for the segmant “Bad Paid for Photos” – don’t know if you paid for them or not but who cares lol! Tooo funny!
Sarah R says:
OMG, what was your mother thinking? 14? LOL. I know this was a trend back then but I know my parents never would have doled out money for me to have them done. You were in with the times and look pretty so there. It’s definitely something to look back and laugh about now. Hey, you know what I was thinking? You could have sent these in and been a star on Saved by the Bell. LOL! The hair would have fit right in.
They were a gift!
BAHAHHAHAHAHAAH Oh Heather…
@ RC, that link is awesomesauce!! lol
Hot Glam Girl!! Haha. They’re not so bad though!
ha! blast from the past! Love it
So is the portrait still displayed prominently in your parents’ house?
Luckily no! When they redid their front entryway the portrait thankfully did not return!
I’ll admit I am slightly disappointed.
Thanks for sharing
This is just awesome!