As I’ve mentioned several times, Annie has a love/hate relationship with me. Well, more like a love/ambivalent relationship. She loves to play with me, but still drops me like a bad habit when daddy is around.
This weekend is the March of Dimes walk, so I have lots of friends coming into town to support our March for Maddie team. Yesterday I picked up my friends Greis and Jen, and Jen’s squishy little five month old Katelyn. Baby Kate is so little and adorable, she knocked my baby fever up to 10.
When we arrived at Hotel My Parents’ House, I was anxious to hold Katelyn, but after experiencing her first flight she was pretty clingy with her mama. I was patient, and finally had my chance to cuddle her.
And Annie…reacted.
put that squeaky thing down and pick me up!
She started yanking on my legs and Katelyn’s blanket, hollering “UP! UP!” She was totally jealous! Once I handed off Katelyn, Annie didn’t stop hounding me until I picked her up and hugged her. Only then was she satisfied that there wasn’t someone new in the picture.
I’m not going to lie, I really liked seeing her act like I was HER mama, and that she didn’t want to share me. It was nice to see that she felt some ownership of me! Heh heh.
However. We do eventually want to give her a younger sibling (not for a while, mom, don’t worry), and as much as I like to see how much she loves and needs me, it does make me worry about how she will adjust to a “permanent” baby.
Is this a phase that children outgrow? Is this something I can prepare her for? Or will we just have to sleep with one eye open if we eventually bring home another baby?
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britt says:
I don’t have babies yet, but I just got a kitten 2 weeks ago and I have a cat that I’ve had for 3 years. Jealousy has been a major issue and there’s been a lot of fighting and hissing. I hope babies don’t fight and hiss like cats, for all our sakes
debi says:
By the time your next baby arrives Annie will be eager to kiss and cuddle her new sib. I have 5 kids and 10 grandkids and they all acted pretty much like Annie at that age. My 19 month old granddaughter and her mommy live with us and baby Bella gets possessive of me when the other kids are around. It feels nice to know you are loved. I know you will be great with how ever many you have. One more thing, Annie is so very cute.
Penbleth says:
There can be jealousy but you would have nine months to prepare her. Remember, all the time the baby would be baking Annie would also be growing and maturing. Just keep an older sibling involved, make sure you remind them how much you love them and talk about being a Big Sister, make it sound good. It doesn’t have to be a hissing contest.
Neeroc says:
It’s great to feel wanted isn’t it? *g*. V reacted the same was the first time she realized I was holding another kid. But now the more she sees it the more used to it she is. Also, she desperately wants a sibling now *sigh* join the line kid! Anyways, it’ll all sort out and she’ll end up sharing your excitement when the time comes.
Rachel says:
I think it could actually really help a transition to having a new sibling that Annie is such a daddy’s girl. My oldest is daddy’s number 1 fan, and while previously to us actually having a baby in the house she also reacted negatively when I would hold other people’s babies, when her sister came along she barely batted an eye. My husband just made sure that he was doing things with her just as often or more than before, and she loved it. She did want me to start putting her to bed, and kept it up for the first 4 months of her sister’s life, but then she wanted daddy again, and it’s been that way for the last 3 and a half years. Her sister is a total mama’s girl, so it’s worked out nicely.
Jenniferc says:
My son was like that at his age(maybe a little older, cause he could talk); even telling me “mommy, that’s not your’s. Give that baby back to ms. “other,-kid’s-mom’s name”. He eventually grew out of it and nowdoesn’t care if i’m holding another kid’
Audra says:
My girls are 22 months apart and Little Sister wasn’t an issue until she could move around and start playing with her big sissy’s toys. That’s when the tension began at our house.
Heather says:
My oldest was 18 months and 2 days old when youngest arrived and there were a few jealousy issues. I made sure to cuddle with her as much when I was holding youngest and when my ex husband was holding youngest.
Oldest also went straight back to bottle when youngest arrived, refusing to drink from a sippy cup and any progress we had made in potty training was basically undone.
That being said, if my fiancee was paying extra attention to another woman, I might hit the bottle and wet my pants too… maybe it’s something we can’t escape.
Jealousy is an ugly beast.
Eddy Nalls says:
Heather,
You gave my fiance and I our laugh for today with your statement of “hitting the bottle and wetting your pants!”
Erica says:
My daughter was 18 months old when I found out I was pregnant with her baby brother, by the time he came along she couldn’t be bothered by him and 90% of the time she didn’t even notice that he was there. Now she is almost 3 1/2 and he is 14 months and they are best of friends.
Kris says:
I think the closer the older child is to age three or older, the less jealousy you’d have to deal with. My daughter was 2.5 when her brother was born, and she dealt with it by not acknowledging him at all. When she was almost 4.5, her younger brother was born and she was so excited (it was the “I love babies” phase that a lot of young girls go through). Interestingly, I don’t remember my older son being jealous (23 months old when his brother arrived), but I attribute that to either being too sleep deprived to notice or he had his older sister to entertain him so he was too busy to notice or care.
Sara says:
My daughter went through that, and I wont lie, I loved it. Otherwise she only wanted to cuddle Daddy. Now that she’s 4 she keeps telling me she wants a little brother or sister and we can just steal her baby cousin if we want.
amanda says:
Can I just say – Annie is so delicious in those pics!!! That outfit is completely adorable!
I hope Annie gets a sibling – only if just to see what she and Rigby have to say about it in their videos!
karen says:
My youngest HATED babies. He eventually started to dislike any child more than 2 years younger than himself. If he even saw me look in the direction of a baby or toddler he would get very jealous, start crying and really need his mommy.
The month he turned 7 was the first time I saw him attempt to engage with a baby and actually not get upset that I was holding one. He is now 8 and does not mind if I hold a baby but he will ask if he was/is cuter and if I love him more than the baby.
Jenn says:
I’m no mom but I’d say from experience from my own siblings and lots of cousins and friends, etc., the best thing is to keep older siblings involved and make them feel important about being the big sister/brother, let them feel like they will help with the baby, etc.
I’m the oldest and by the time my first sibling, Dan, was born, I was so into it I referred to him for over a year as “my baby Daniel” not “my baby BROTHER Daniel”. I was almost 4 when he was born, if that’s any sort of help.
Arianne says:
We were lucky; we haven’t really seen any jealousy; in fact, my son (3 1/2) has declared that he is planning to marry his sister (14 months). Yeah, we’ll tackle that if it’s still the plan at 16 *grin*
What I think helped him acclimate:
1: We always talked about “HIS” baby; He got used to the idea before she arrived, and by saying it was HIS baby sister, it made him more invested, and less jealous.
2. When I couldn’t pick him up any more, I didn’t blame the baby, I told him my back was hurt; Later, I told him that when I went to the Hospital to get the baby out, they would fix my back (so the baby is making mommy more fun, not less).
3. We taught him about the nature of babies in a fun way – we need to be careful with babies, because they are floppy (said with much flopping); What do babies say? Waah (said at top volume).
And of course, the reading the books, the buying a baby doll to practice (a bit disturbing when they punt said doll), and lots of extra cuddles and love.
Michelle Larralde says:
Some how it all seems to work out. We have four kids. Our oldest daughter was 4 when her little sister was born, and she was probably more excited about her arrival than we were! (Okay, not really.) She was like the 3rd little parent, and adored her little sister. 16 months later, when little brother #1 was born, she was like “Oh, goody, another baby” (sarcastic undertones here!) but it was my 16 month old daughter who REALLY had a rough time. Little brother had health issues and was hospitalized for RSV and spent several weeks in ICU. Suddenly my little mama’s-girl baby (I was a stay at home mom %100 with her) was missing her Mama as I spent nearly all day every day at the hospital. When we finally brought him back home, the look of horror on her face was pretty evident! He was a crazy-demanding baby and had lots of lasting health issues and feeding problems. She couldn’t verbalize what she was feeling, but she would try to push him over in his bouncer, lol. Even when he was getting older and learning to pull himself up on furniture she’d walk past and knock him right over (soooo mean!) When little brother #2 came around 16 months after the first one, (yup, we’re crazy) she was 2.5 years old and a completely different child. The jealous toddler was gone and she was smitten by the latest baby brother. They all were. Now the youngest is 5 and they all still adore and baby him like crazy.
Sometimes it’s rough, but it all works out.
Melissa says:
We still only have 1 child, but when she was Annie’s age she was really jealous of us holding other kids at all. She adored babies, but up until about age 2 she freaked when we held other kids. Now she is nearly 4 and has been doing great with other kids for about a year. I think partly because she is big enough to hold a baby, or to actually help us do things. With kids around Annie’s age that can walk, she loves to bring out her toys, hold their hand, share her snack or meal. She has been asking for a younger sibling for at least a year and she has a few younger cousins and now adores to have them around. She doesn’t mind us holding them and loves to help. So, I think it comes with age. Once they are big enough to enjoy being big enough to do things on their own, they do better.
Brandy says:
They do get over it but it sure as heck does make a mama feel good!
Trisha Vargas says:
My older girls are only 15 months apart. There really was not a whole lot of the sibling rivalry until the tween years began. When they were small, they played well and shared well for the most part. They had the occasional spat over who was playing with a special doll or toy first, but for the most part were inseperable.
When the tween years began, it all changed. They have spats over the silliest things now, like clothes and make-up and using all the hot water in the shower. They are 15 and 16, so go figure.
Since I started all over with a new daughter 2 years ago, she has added a little calm back into the household. Since she is a sponge and watches and idolizes her big sisses, they have simmered down a little for her.
She loves babies but only if I am not holding them. She gets very clingly and drops whatever she is playing with if I hold another child.
I think most kids experience that a little, but once you have a new baby and Annie sees she will have a new playmate and friend in time, I am sure she’ll adjust and love being a big sister.
I am sure it will be great once you decide to add a new baby to the family!
Jamie says:
I think it works out, as oddly as that sounds.
Before I was pregnant with my third and my second was a toddler, she couldn’t tolerate other babies at all. I wasn’t allowed to be near them, hold them, look at them, breathe on them, give them things, think about giving them things or refer to them. Same with my husband. I had a little get together at my house one Saturday and one of the ladies brought her baby. The baby was fussy, so my husband picked her up. My middle daughter actually climbed him. And he was wearing shorts!
But, when her baby sister came along she did great. She loved her. She wasn’t jealous and we were allowed to talk/touch/look at/hold the baby.
Now the baby is the jealous one.
Nellie says:
My daughter was the same exact way – personality and all! It’ll change (for the better) as she gets older. My daughter is now 3 1/2 years old and talks about wanting a little baby so she can feed him/her, change his/her diaper and dress her (doesn’t care much for dressing up a boy). No more babies for me but she’s got plenty of dolls to do that with and tons of little cousins to love on.
By the way, I really love your red hair – great color and so shiny!
Rumour Miller says:
I think that there are naturally going to be periods of jealousy no matter what the age. When I was pregnant with my last, I wondered the exact same thing about my second daughter. She was her Mama’s girl. You know what, she just adjusted when her little sister arrived (she wasn’t quite two yet). I didn’t really do anything different. I think that Annie will be fine.
Kristy says:
I think we got passed this one with spacing of children. My oldest is 8. My youngest is 20 months. There is 6 and a half years in between. There still is jealousy, don’t get me wrong, but it is easier to tell my older daughter that my younger needs something, but I can still listen to her story. I think there is always jealousy. Each child wants to feel loved and special to mom and dad. I try to make sure I give my oldest hugs, kisses, attention, concern and all the things she needs. It was hard at first because going from having a self reliant child to a baby. Toddlers also require a ton of time and attention. I notice sometimes my oldest acts out because she feels ignored. It’s tough, but watching the moments where they hug and interact with each other is worth it.
Wallydraigle says:
In my experience, most kids are more prone to act out toward their parents than they are their new sibling. My daughter was this way. They’re only 16 months apart. I was expecting several months of horrible behavior, possibly having to protect the newborn from the toddler.
She ADORED her sister from the very beginning. Until very recently (that newborn is now Annie’s age, and the older one is 2.5), I had never, ever seen her intentionally hurt the baby. She has amazing empathy and sensitivity; I don’t know if that’s normal, or if she’s emotionally precocious, but I love it!
From the start, I had her “help” me as much as possible. “Help” is in quotes because half the time it wasn’t really helpful at all. I’d have her fetch me a diaper even if I could reach it easily; I’d have her help me burp the baby after a feeding, anything I could think of, no matter how useless it actually was.
We had a short time of extra tantrums and needy behavior, but she loves her sister more than I think she even loves US. The baby is enormous now, and very physical, so she has started needing to defend herself, but that’s the only time I ever see her be anything less than gentle and tender with her sister. She only pushes gently, or sometimes hugs too roughly; it’s never malicious.
Rebecca says:
Once she realizes that the baby doesn’t play music or light up or require batteries, her interest in the baby and jealousy will fade.
Sarah says:
I just had a second little one she is 3 mths old and my older daughter is 8 days short of 3 years old and she LOVES her baby sister. I think 3 years is perfect because they are sort of independent and you can get them excited for a new baby sibling and they will actually understand what you mean. Making her a big helper has been great she loves that role!!! Kaeleigh went to stay with Grandma when Libby was born and Grandma was honest with her; all this little sister is going to do is Eat, Sleep, Poop and Cry!!! She thought that was hilarious and told everyone the only things her sister could do. The best part is when she makes Libby smile and laugh its the best part!!! I’ve heard that 2 years is really hard u can’t turn your back and it seems your newborn is always in danger of being struck on the head…i’ve seen it first hand with my niece and her younger sister 19mths apart and then the younger sister and Kaeleigh 18 mths apart. But is only for a little while then they become the best of friends!!
Alice H. says:
This is my experience. When my son was almost 7 we had our daughter. Today he is 19 and she is 11. Guess what, not only was he jealous then, but he is still jealous of her. For the first 7 years of his life he was the master of “kiddom” in our house and then a little queen came along. But, he understands that this is life and he truly loves his sister. Everything always works out and it will for your too. Good luck.
Heather says:
My son is four and he would LOVE to have a younger sibbling. I think my friends daughter was 2 1/2 when she had her second and she was fine with him. I think once they are old enough to have the understanding of what the new baby is they adjust better.
alimartell says:
ha. Emily is TEN and still gets jealous if I cuddle with Josh or Isabella!!!
I’m with Annie on this one. Totally jealous that you get to hold Miss Katelyn. HEE.
Sara says:
I like to think it’s just a phase. I’m currently in the process of preparing my 22-month old daughter for a sibling (who is due 4 days before her birthday). At first, I was horribly nervous about the jealousy thing, but after months of talking with her about “the baby in my belly” and making sure I give her tons of hugs and kisses in the meantime, I’m pretty sure that while some jealousy might exist, she’ll transition fairly easily.
The other thing I’m trying to remember is that once the baby is here, I’ll have her help me in the ways that a 2-year-old can (get the baby a blanket, turn pages of a book so Mommy can read it to her and the baby, etc.). Fingers crossed!
Kirsten says:
One thing a lot of the preschool moms I work with do is tell the prospective big sister that they’re busy making them a baby. All the time, especially once the mom starts showing, they tell them, “Come kiss your baby, feel your baby kick” etc. When I’ve got a future older sibling in my class, I make a big deal about the fact that they’re going to be the cool older sibling and they better help mom and dad out with everything and be the big kid in the house. It works quite well.
That’s not to say there won’t be some adjustment issues, regardless of age, but as long as you always make time for her and make sure she knows she’s still special, everything will turn out fine.
Jenifer says:
I think kids know when a baby is a permanent addition or a temporary distraction. All of my boys LOVED their younger siblings as soon as they were brought home.
My oldest did have a few moments of jealousy (he liked to hide the baby under a pillow when I left to use the restroom. Talk about a panic attack when I got back.) But he never demanded attention or threw a fit when I nursed or held his younger brother and within a few weeks they were thick as thieves.
Plus you have The Awesome Mike to back you up. ;0)
Jennifer says:
I dont have children of my own, but my mom has a now 4 and 3 year old. they are 21 months apart, and the bigger one was prepared and ready for baby sissy. she has never had any jealousy issues with her or any other babies. the 3 year old still gets clingy and jealous if me, my mom, or step dad hold other babies. normally she is strictly a mamas girl, and wants nothing to do with dad or nannie (Me) but if one of us have another baby, she becomes a barnacle to us. been that way since she was old enough to realize there was something coming into her space. she is also very territorial of her things. I think it is mostly to do with she is the baby, and it is part of her personality. she likes her things just so, and God forbid if someone or something messes with it. Annie is prob just not used to the idea of mommy giving her attention to another baby, but if you prepare her for it, she will begin to understand.
Maggie says:
I think that Annie’s age is more clingy than other ages. I had my second when my first was 4 and she was so fantastic with her. She was a big help and just adored her. I can’t say that she is as enamored with her now at ages 9 and 5, but she is still her greatest protector, even from me!
Betsy says:
My son is 2 1/2 and is still insanely jealous when I hold another baby. He usually ignores me when I go pick him up at daycare until I pick up one of the other kids. Then he’s running over, tugging at my legs saying, “Mommy, I want you to put that baby DOWN and pick me UP!” I am due with my second in a few months, so this is something I’m worried about! I guess he’ll just have to get over it.
Jessica says:
Oh yes, my baby was very jealous of other babies for quite a while. Now he is two and he likes to help me “hold” the baby, so his jealousy is mostly gone! I suspect Annie will be jealous for a while and then curious!
Glenda says:
My kids are 3 yrs apart (son older then daughter)
Thankfully at 3 yrs old he was Mr. Independent and loved, loved his baby sis. He loved to hold her and never once showed any signs of jealousy (thank goodness).
To this day he is her “lil daddy” that watches over her and protects her.
Lindsay says:
You’ll be fine Heather! I worried about this a lot with having a 2nd. I thought it was going to be the toughest part of having two. Last summer I got pregnant with my son when my daughter was around 2.5. Around the same time we had a playdate and I was holding a friends 5 month old and my daughter kept repeating things like “Give the baby back Mommy” and “Put that baby down!”. My son is 2 months now and she couldn’t be a better big sister and never gets jealous and always wants to include him in everything. It will probably be different when he can actually steal her toys, but I was very surprised.
Tammy says:
My son was 3 1/2 years when my daughter was born. He wasn’t jealous – as long as I could still watch him. He was into performing power ranger kicks (a.k.a. “pooming the yucky things”) so as long as I paid attention, he was fine. Otherwise, I heard “mamamamamamamamamamamm looooook” x 1000 daily.
That said, each child is different so we’ll just have to find out when your next one arrives.
Helpful, huh?
Sorry!
Lynnette says:
I just experienced this same thing last night. I got to hold a friend’s 4-month old and my newly 1 year old flipped out. She was in the high chair at the restaurant and just looked at me and screamed (she doesn’t have many words yet). This made me a little nervous because we are expecting baby #3 when #2 will be 17 months old. Wondering how this will all play out.
#1 was 8 days shy of 5 years old when #2 was born. She was super excited to have a baby brother or sister in the house (we don’t find out) and wanted another for about the first 2 or 3 weeks after #2 was born. Then she turned to not wanting any more babies in the house because they are so much work. However sometime over time that changed because when we told her about #3, I was told I was the “best Mommy in the world!” for having a baby in my tummy. I just worry for #2, but I know it will all work out.
I’ll let you know how it goes after #3 arrives.
I am sure that by the time you would be able to grow another baby Annie would be old enough to be a loving and wonderful big Sister.
Kristin says:
There will be jealousy but you’ll have plenty of time to prepare her and she will adjust. The biggest thing that helped with my boys was including them in little things and having them help me with the baby. They brought me diapers, picked out clothes, helped was the little one, and that made them feel important and included.
Virginia says:
At that age my daughter hated if I was around any other babies and since I knew 13 girls who gave birth right after my daughters first birthday there were lots of babies to be around. Eventually she came around to it and at 3.5 we had our son and she’s great with him.
GingerB says:
She will adjust, Heather, I am sure of it. My girls are 2 years and 4 months apart, and it seems absolutely perfect. The elder was so excited for the new one to arrive that she almost forgot to be jealous. I also included my older child in planning for the baby, and we read books about pregnancy, being a big sister to a new baby, all of those things the people who give advice say to do, and it all seemed to help.
Hang in there this weekend, dear Mama. I am sure this is an emotionally difficult event for you, and I am so proud of you for working to help others like this, putting others first. You are a lovely person.
Deborah says:
Heather, Take her on “dates” and leave “baby” at home. She’ll feel like a big girl and special that way…
Lisa says:
I’m just a few months away from giving Maya a sibling and I have no idea how it will go. She is 3 now and so she understands a little more but she is definitely still jealous if I pay attention to other kids or hold other babies, we’ll have to see how it goes.
I’ll let you know if I learn any magic tricks in the process
Holli (B's Mom) says:
I think that if she’s a little older she will be more willing to “share” you, but it’s hard for any kid at any age to have to share their parent. 30 years and 5 siblings later and I STILL don’t want to share my mom.
Melissa says:
My daughter was just over 4 years when her sister was born. My whole pregnancy she was so excited and would tell every person that she would come in contact with that she was having a sister. My husband and I did everything we were told to do as far as including her. I’m not sure what happened, but she was not impressed. We really struggled for about 3 months. Our oldest was our world for over 4 years and we were always doing fun things, but when you have a newborn, that had to stop for a while. She would really get mad when I would nurse her sister. I tried to include her and read to her during that time, but it seemed like nothing was good enough for her. I actually felt like we were walking on egg shells, so we wouldn’t upset our eldest princess. I got to thinking how ridiculous it was and how I needed to make sure I was bonding with my new baby. So, we got tough and then she got naughty, so we had to start a chart. She is great now and loves her sister. It was an adjustment, but we are all doing great. She loves to make her “sissy” laugh and is actually very helpful! Good luck!
Lisa says:
Yes, they do out grow it. I have a 3 yr old daughter, my sister has an 18 month old son. The first time my daughter met her new cousin and he was like 2 days old, she walked over to him all sweet and then smacked him right on his soft spot. And I mean, HIT the baby hard. My family and I were all NOOOOOO!!!! DONT HIT THE BABY!!!! I was mortified to say the least. And it took until about 3 or 4 months ago, but she now will play with him nicely and share my mom. My daughter LOVES my mom and was very jealous at first, but now she says: “Baby Kole, he’s my little buddy.” So freaking cute. Just watch for the bald spot smack down at first. Lisa
Expat Mom says:
I had Dante when Dorian was 16 months old. It was the first time we’d been apart for more than an hour and when he came to the hospital to pick me up, he was so excited to see me and started squealing and jumping around . . . then he saw the baby in my arms. The look he gave me would have melted stone, it was sheer, “You left me and BETRAYED ME with another baby?!?!” It was awful and I bawled my eyes out. Then he had nothing to do with me or the baby for three days, he wouldn’t even LOOK at me. On the fourth day, he climbed up on the bed, checked his brother out, gave him a kiss and held him and then tried to smother him. :S
Today, however, they are 5 and 4 and mostly best friends. They get over it. It’s definitely not something that should stop you from having another one!
Ciji says:
I dont have kids but i’m like the baby whisperer and am always around kids. My sister has a 2yr old that calls me HER Ciji. She will not let anyone get her in and out of the car but me if im around. She is super jealous if I love on her siblings, has to know where I am and dislikes me holding jer friends at daycare. Sometimes she has an attitide with me or if shes sick she wants mommy. But when she does that and I leave she will cry for a half hour because im gone. She just recently got a new cousin and she feels she has to take care of him. So i’m sure Annie will be a second mommy to her little sibling but still want some attention.
Marion says:
Annie’s such a cutie. It’s definitely heart warming when a little miss independent decides she still needs mummy! In my experience the jealousy often diminishes when the baby is family – a pride in being the baby’s older sibling, and having an important role to play as such.
Ray says:
Those photos are oh-so-freakin’-ADORABLE! Of course Annie couldn’t resist her momma. ;o)
Baby # 3? You make beautiful girls, the 3rd will be just as gorgeous.
Lawrence@CreditDonkey says:
This really depends on her environment, I think it’s up to you on how you control it. But everybody loves the undying attention
Becca_Masters says:
My niece is 8 months old, and my nephew is nearly 3. He loves his little sister and constantly gives her kisses and cuddles, however there are times he’s a little spiteful and mean to her (which breaks my heart)
Two days ago he got hold of a marker pen and coloured her in! He did get told off for that one.
About a month ago, he just went up to her and smacked her in the face. She was so shocked and then burst into tears, big fat baby tears rolling down her cheeks and boy was I cross with him. It broke my heart. What broke my heart even more was this his dad (my brother) cuddled her, but did not tell my nephew off. If ever I see my nephew doing naughty things, I promptly take him away from what he’s doing and tell him not too (which is what his parents should be doing, but don’t always)
anyway, so what i’m getting at is, a new baby gets a lot of attention and you’d have to be careful to give your toddler as much attention, so they don’t feel neglected, otherwise you see the spiteful behaviour unleashed.
My sister and I as well as my mother, ensure that when we see the children, both get equal fuss. My husband mostly plays with our nephew, mainly because I’m not sure he knows exactly how to interact with our niece. I’m thinking it’ll be interesting when he has kids and has to change a diaper!
Kirsten says:
When my son was born, my daughter was 3 and a half, and she ADORED him. She was out of diapers, and she enjoyed helping out, bringing me things, holding him, showing him things. When he was a baby, I can’t recall any times when she was resentful or angry about him. Now she does, from time to time (now that she is 7 and he is 3.5), resent that she is held to a higher standard of behavior because she is older and more capable of managing her emotions, but in general, they love each other so much.