I’ve been having another insomnia wave this week, and on top of it, I’ve had a headache that just won’t go away. When I had insomnia in college I would get out of bed and walk the halls. I’d do a few laps and climb back into bed, and I always feel asleep right away. I decided to try that a few nights ago. As I walked around my dark house, I remembered that I kiiind of don’t like the dark, and then I became convinced that something was going to jump out at me. I started to oh-so-casually sprint back to my room when something did, in fact, jump out at me.

This precious skeleton dog:

This fucking thing

The dog is motion activated, and Annie loves to play with it. She had no doubt left it turned on, shaving several years off my life. It’s been four days and my heart rate has finally come into the 190s.

So I’m extra-tired this week. Mike is great when I have my insomnia bouts. He gets up with Annie, encourages me to sleep, and this week he has even gone the extra-mile and brought my morning cup of coffee to my bedside. I used to have a major, multiple-cups-a-day addiction to caffeine, but now I am a one cup a day girl. I need my coffee before I do anything else. Like, if I eat before I’ve had my cup, I get sick. It’s part of my routine.

Anyway, yesterday I dragged myself out to the couch before Mike had made my cup. As I gave Annie morning snuggles, Mike went to the kitchen to brew my coffee.

“Since you’re awake, I’ll confirm with you what kind of coffee you want,” He called to me from the kitchen, “Do you want the breakfast blend or the donut shop?” He walked back to where I could see him.

“Breakfast Blend. Donut Shop is decaf.”

He got a funny look on his face. “Okay.” He started the coffee maker and then walked over to where I was sitting on the couch. “Your coffee this week might not have, uh, been full-steam.”

“What does that mean?” I was still very sleepy.

“I apparently made you decaf all week. I’m sorry! But this explains why you’ve been so grumpy!”

“I’m in caffeine withdrawal! I’ve had the worst headache for days and I also haven’t been sleeping! You’re lucky all I am is grumpy!”

Then I drank an entire pot of coffee. Okay I actually drank two cups, but still. My body needed it.

I can’t get mad because he was trying to do something nice for me, but I can get even by secretly draining his regular Diet Cokes and refilling it with the caffeine-free version.