As soon as Maddie’s pediatrician (looooove) said it was okay to give Maddie Baby Motrin, I ran to the store to purchase all of your teething suggestions. I was surprised that I couldn’t find ANY of the homeopathic teething tablets. Of course, I only went to one store, but I figured that since this is California, we’d have all that healthy stuff everywhere. Apparently the Ralph’s by our house doesn’t believe in that stuff. Alas.

Mike and I put together a four point rating system to determine what was the best remedy. We’re very scientific. The first point was ease of use – was it easy for us or Madeline? Second, did the crying get better or get worse? Third, did the remedy amuse us, giving us a ray of sunshine amid the screams of pain? And finally, could Mike and I be arrested for implementing this remedy? Armed with our system and our instruments of relief, we put them to the test.

Tastes like DowneyThe first thing we tried was a washcloth, as suggested by Memphislis, Danielle, Jill, and Baby B. We froze one end, wet another end, and left the rest dry. She definitely chewed on the washcloth, but only when we were forcing it into her mouth. Her crying quieted briefly, but then started back with a vengeance. However, with the washcloth in her mouth, it sounded like she was crying through a pillow. Funny! We’d probably get arrested if she smothered on it, though. Less funny.

I'm thinking of putting this somewhere else.Danielle also suggested letting her chew on a baby toothbrush. This one was easy for her to grab onto and put in her mouth. The problem was she was too busy smacking herself in the face with it. Then she hit herself in the eye, and you know what they say about fun and games and eyes. Needless to say, the crying did not get better, and while watching Maddie wield a toothbrush like a tiny sword was funny, we’re pretty sure we’d get arrested if we allowed her to poke her eye out.

A spoonful of quiet.Casey said she used to give her daughter cold metal spoons to gnaw on. Luckily we have some of those laying around, so we froze one and gave it to Maddie. It was easy for her to use and she loved it. Unfortunately, it lost the coldness pretty fast, and then she had no use for it, flinging it aside like trash. Since we used a serving spoon, sometimes her tongue would poke through the holes. Funny. We wouldn’t get arrested for this one, either!

Not KosherBridget suggested we give Maddie a pickle to chew on. She also said they got funny pictures of her kids chewing on pickles. We like funny! So we tried it. Maddie was NOT having it. The second Mike put the tiny gherkin in her mouth, she yanked her head away. The look of disgust on her face was priceless. We wouldn’t get arrested for this one, but I think Maddie would call the police on us if we made her eat a pickle again.

Do I look like a rabbit?SP said a peeled carrot is a good gnawing option. It might have been, if we hadn’t just given her a pickle. I think the pickle was where we started to lose her trust. She didn’t like the way the carrot tasted. Good for her, I hate carrots, too.

This is as big as my face.I ran into a problem when I was looking for the mini bagels suggested by Mom24 and Val – I couldn’t find any. I asked the guy at Ralph’s, and he said, “what are mini bagels?” Jeez Louise. I improvised and bought the smallest bag of bagels I could find, and froze them. I tried to get Maddie to gnaw on it, but she looked at me like I was mental. This is where I completely lost Maddie’s trust.

Organic!Just Me said peas or popsicles (or as I call them, Popstickles) worked for her kids, so I was all ready to go with those. Then Mike pointed out that Maddie has the hand-eye coordination of a drunk chicken, and maybe we didn’t want to do anything overly messy. So she got everything in the package.

Popstickles are good.She liked sucking on the wrapped popsicle, but it had the same weapon potential as the toothbrush. After she hit herself in her other eye I had to take it away from her, and that didn’t make her happy.

killed it!Jess, Gemini Girl, Jill, and London2434 all suggested booze. Yeah, we didn’t exactly try that one. We probably would have, if we hadn’t consumed all the booze in the house during the CRYYYYYYYYYING. Note to others, a crying baby does not make a hangover feel better. Also, Mike said this picture is child abuse.

The most popular suggestion (Bec, Mom24, All Saints, Kristin, Danielle, Jen B, Jody, and Jill) was Motrin or Ibuprofen. At Kristin’s suggestion, we called Dr. Loooove to make sure it was okay to give it to Maddie. We still tried all the other suggestions, because friends, drugs are not always the answer. Except in this case. Look how happy she is!


Drugs were the hands-down winner.

I am still determined to try the homeopathic tablets suggested by Shauna, Casey, All Saints, Danielle, Just Me, and Holli. I just have to find the time to, you know, look.

Seriously, thanks to everyone who left comments with suggestions! It was great to hear from so many people.

Tomorrow, really, I will let you know about her appointment with Dr. Lung. I swear.