My gramma died three months before I met Mike. I have always been so sad they never met, they would have gotten along so well. After Mike and I had been dating for a while, I asked him to go with me to the cemetery where my gramma’s ashes are buried. I knew he was a keeper when he said yes.
Now that we’ve moved, we’re much closer to the cemetery. I’ve gone countless times over the years, but they were all planned-out trips. It makes me happy to know that I can stop by to visit on my way home from running an errand. And I do.
Yesterday my mom and I went to the cemetery, and I brought Annie along. I haven’t brought her since she started walking because I had visions of her running up and down the rows, pulling flowers out of vases and generally causing massive destruction. I don’t know if I got her on a good day, or if she’s just at a good stage, but she was perfect at the cemetery.
She walked around a bit at first (with me close behind) but she really just wanted to stay close to me and my mom. She was VERY interested in helping my mom with the purple flowers we’d brought.
I reminded her that we were visiting my grandma and great-grandma, her great-grandma and great-great-grandma. She said, “Gamma?” and looked at my mom. She didn’t get it…or maybe she did, in a way.
As Annie walked in a small circle around the headstone, I picture my gramma’s smile and remembered her laugh. She would have laughed SO much at my funny Annie. My little performer would have loved making her great-grandma laugh.
When we were ready to leave, my mom grabbed Annie’s hand and lead her back to the car. My gramma used to hold my hand and lead me, too.
Meghan says:
so awesome that you keep connected to and remember the elders that have passed. You are teaching Annie so much about family and never ending love.
Nellie says:
So precious! I wish I had met my maternal grandparents because the way my mom is devoted to my daughter, I know her parents would’ve been the same way with me and my siblings.
Blessings to you and your amazing family!
Sue says:
So very touching, Heather,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Dacia says:
Heather, your Gramma still leads you. Thanks for sharing Annie with all of us.
keri says:
Heather, what a wonderful post. This really touched me today. My grandmother passed away 8 years ago today. My daughter was 8 weeks old. One of my biggest regrets is that they didnt get to spend alot of time together.
susanmig says:
great post! that last shot of annie is amazing….she looks like she really “gets” it. i love your photos….i’ve noticed they are getting better and better as time goes on.
Aubrey says:
What a beautiful post. Very touching. My grandma passed away a year ago yesterday. I miss her everyday. I have not been able to visit the cemetery yet since it is a 4 hour drive.
lisaj says:
I miss my grandmother so very much. She understood me better than anyone, except maybe my husband, who also never got to meet her.
I had several miscarriages before my grandmother passed away. I became pregnant with my first rainbow baby, my son, a few weeks before she passed. Her death was sudden, unexpected, and given our connection, ironic. She had suffered several miscarriages herself and was certain I would carry the baby to term. The day that the pregnancy book says his heart would start beating, my grandmother had a heart attack.
I felt so much guilt for so long. I felt as though I had made some horrible bargain. My grandmother was the kind of person who would have given anyone anything. I felt as though she gave my son her heart. And he is so much like her, it takes my breath away.
Anyway, I am sorry for rambling. This post touched me, as so many have, and I wanted to acknowledge how much your blog has helped me work through some of my own issues regarding grief.
Maybe our grammas are hanging out.
mccgoods says:
WOW just wow, my grandmother passed away before my miscarriages but I think she is up there in heaven with my babies probably singing a tisket a tasket to them and teaching them how to sew or something. thanks for such a great story.
Kate says:
This post made me tear up a bit. I was very close to my great-grandmother too. She has alzheimers, so towards the end, our relationship was not the same. But I always thought about the conversations she would have had with my now husband. How she would have grilled him. Anyways….Thank you for this. It reminds me how much I need to go to the cemetary to see her as well.
Angi says:
There is such a special bond between a girl and her grandma. This is a beautiful post. I miss both of my grandma’s and only wish that they’d known my children more.
Katherine says:
Oh, I keep wishing my daughter could have met her great-grandma too… especially the one she’s named after. I can totally picture them hanging out together, down to my grandmother being horrified by my little one’s table manners… A sweet post.
Pattie says:
This post made me cry. I too wish my Coraline had gotten to meet my Abuela, her great-grandmother. Her meeting my husband’s grandmother this summer was bittersweet for me for just that reason. I’m happy we at least have those pictures to show her someday, and I hope we can help her understand how amazingly special it is that she got to meet one of her great-grandmothers.
Katy says:
Is this Pierce brothers?? My whole family is buried there and I use to go all the time. The Kanan family plot. Now that I live up North in hayward, CA I cant go like i use to. That cemetery was my saving grace for everything that ever happened in my life. I couldnt tell you how many teasr and laughs have been shed there.
isabella says:
This is really a great post! It made me remember my grandma, she died in our province a month after I gave birth to my first child. I wish I was able to let them meet at least once.
Trisha says:
I haven’t taken my little one to visit my Dad at the cemetery yet for those exact fears and she’s 3, so kudos to little Annie for being so well behaved.
Lovely pictures as always and it almost looks like in one she is getting ready to blow a kiss when she is looking down at the purple flowers. Very sweet indeed!
mccgoods says:
My mom brought my niece to visit her great grandma (my mom’s mom) last year to the cemetary when they were getting ready to leave my mom looked over and saw my niece on the kneeling on the ground arms stretched out. My mom asked her “what’s going on?” She replied “oh just giving great nonnie a hug”
J. P Martin says:
Your post warmed my heart!
Jessica says:
What a sweet post, so hard to know what our kids understand about death but it is amazing how many sweet things they say that make us wonder if they know more than we think they do.
Shannon says:
Very sweet.
Pigtails. Are. Hurting. My. Uterus.
Mom of 2 boys
Skye says:
This brought tears to my eyes. I was lucky enough to have a great-grandma until I was in my teens- I used to talk with her on the phone but I never got to meet her. It’s one of my biggest regrets in life. It’s so sweet that your grandma and great-grandma are still an important part of your family even though they’re gone.
p.s. I love how in the second photo, it looks like the flowers are a pretty headpiece on Annie!
Lanie says:
Grandmothers and great grandmothers are the best!!
jess says:
Yeah this made me cry. I was so close to my gram. She died 8 years ago from leukemia. I miss her so much. There are so many times I wish I could pick up the phone and call her for advice. I know she’d like my boyfriend, and would really like him.
Before she died she had told me she was really sad she would miss out on two things. Me graduating and me getting married. I was sad she’d never see my kids. I know the day I have them she’ll still be there.
I know your grandma adores your Annie.
abegail says:
Grand mother are really great ..Thanks a lot for sharing it!