Thank you all so much for the abundance of love you’ve shown my family since James was born. We’ve received so many wonderful messages, we are a lucky family.

As Mike mentioned, my recovery has been very slow. It has really knocked me for a loop. This was my third c-section, and I felt completely prepared for what happens post-surgery. I did so well after Annabel’s c-section that I was discharged less than forty-eight hours after her birth, and I felt pretty damn good, too. I was expecting a similar recovery this time, but that wasn’t taking my new drug allergy or heart episode into consideration.

The heart thing is scary in hindsight. At the time, I was confused and mostly worried about James. I remember laying back on the operating table and chatting with the anesthesiologists, and then I told them I felt dizzy. I saw my heart rate on the monitor hit 167, and then I felt an intense pressure in my chest and watched my heart rate drop to 40. I remember telling someone I felt like I was going to be sick, and a vomit bag appeared next to my head. As I dry heaved, I saw the nurses searching for James’ heart beat. After that, I don’t remember much. Someone told me to close my eyes, and I thought that maybe they were putting me under general anesthesia. When I opened my eyes, Mike was there, and not long after that, James was out.

I really only remember bits and pieces of the first day and a half after James was born, which is kind of a bummer. Although Mike tells me I was in a lot of pain, so maybe it’s better that way!! I’m glad that Mike, my mom, and my cousin took lots of pictures and video of those hours because they help fill my memory gaps.Β The doctors and nurses spent the majority of my hospitalization figuring out a good pain management program that didn’t involve any NSAID drugs – much easier said than done, thanks to some unfavorable reactions to a couple of the different narcotics that were tried. And, the whole thing made Mike and me very, very certain that we are 100% done having kids. Every doctor that came to my room inevitably said, “So um…are you planning on doing this again?” And when we’d say NO the doctor always looked relieved and said, “Oh good.”

My family has been amazing while I’ve been recovering. My mom stayed with us for a week and sat up with me at night to talk to me while I breastfed James (the medications made me really sleepy). They are patient with me when I trail off mid-sentence because I can’t remember what I was going to say. Mike physically helps me up, waits on me, and is a wizard with diaper changes. My dad comes to play with Annie. Even my sweet Annabel comes over to where I’m resting and says, “Mama, can I do anything for you?” I am starting to feel like myself again, and I am so thankful they’ve been so wonderful to me during this whole thing.

But James, oh he was so worth it all. He is so cuddly and sweet and perfect. He’s a good nurser and sleeper and when he’s awake he’s incredibly alert. He had a touch of jaundice so he and I spent some quality time reclining in front of sunny windows where I got to take in his soft baby fuzz and baby blues. For being such a mover and shaker when he was known as The Acrobat, he’s incredibly mellow now. That works out well for me, since I currently have to take it very easy. He’s content in my arms, and I’m content with him there.

my kids
(Except when I have to share him with Annabel, that baby hog)