As you all know, the show Friends is a staple in our house. We watch the reruns all the time, and I can’t imagine a time when I’ll ever say, “I don’t want to watch that Friends episode.” I have seen every episode numerous times over, but I still laugh at every joke like it’s the first time I’ve heard it. I don’t know many people my age that didn’t grow up watching and adoring the show. I am personally at the point where I don’t even realize I am quoting it half the time. In fact, Friends is so ingrained in my life now that I find myself living by many of its funniest quotes.
Joey: Joey doesn’t share food!
This is especially true if I am on a special diet or eating ice cream or breathing. My food is MY FOOD. And don’t even think of trying to grab “just a taste” without asking me first. You’ll get a fork in your wrist.
Phoebe: You NEVER run on a barge!
I’ve never been on a barge, but if I am ever even near one, I’ll know how to comport myself.
Joey: I’m not gonna go commando in another man’s fatigues.
This sounds like a no-brainer, and yet in college I knew a person who often went commando in borrowed clothing. Yes. YES.
Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when it hits resistance!
When I watched Lena Dunham’s character Hannah ignore this advice once on an episode of Girls, I realized her generation might not have watched Friends with as much diligence as mine. I felt sad for all the abused ear drums out there.
Joey: You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like Fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas.
The Joey Special is especially great because no food sharing is required.
Monica: No… no honey… Not like that, we’re not a barn dance. You wanna fold them like swans like I showed you at Christmas, remember?
I always fold my napkins fancy now, lest anyone think my house is a barn. I haven’t quite mastered the swan fold, though.
Joey: What? You made a bet. A bet is a bet. You bet on a bet, and if you lose you lose the bet.
And never, under any circumstances, bet your amazing rent-controlled New York City apartment.
Rachel: How long do cats live? Like assuming you don’t throw ‘em under a bus or something?
But replace “cats” with fish, and replace “bus” with into a toilet. Yes, Bubbles and Uptown Funk are still alive almost a year later. Yay.
Joey: Here come the meat sweats…
I literally say this anytime I’ve had too much to eat, even if it wasn’t meat.
Ross: You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.
This applies whenever anyone tries to argue with me about song lyrics. I AM NEVER WRONG ABOUT SONG LYRICS, MIKE.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, look, I’m melting butter.
Monica: That’s great, Rach. You now have the cooking skills of a hot day.
Melting butter is literally my best cooking skill.
Joey: Jet aplee blooo
What I sound like when I try to speak a foreign language.
Chandler: I’m not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
When it’s time to be serious, 97% of the time I will become uncomfortable and make a joke. The other 3% of the time I will run to the bathroom.
Rachel: Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic.
This is what I say about the fish still being alive.
Lisa says:
OMG this is my favorite post EVER. Friends is my life. I quote it all the time and the people (idiots, all of them) around me that don’t know Friends live in constant confusion. Trying to explain Friends to a millennial is a moo point!!!!
Stacey says:
LOVE FRIENDS! My husband an I constantly quote, PIVOT!
Stacey says:
*and
Tracey says:
That’s our favorite too!!
Casey says:
YES! pivot, pivot, PIVOT!!!
Mel says:
OMG – I was never a faithful watcher of Friends. Yes, I have seen some episodes but the last quote I have not heard and literally laughed out loud. Not sure if it was the quote of the comment after or probably both.
KellyKelly says:
OMG. I LOVE Friends!! We quote it all the time at my house too. Pivot! is a big one, but I also say “I KNOW!!” LIKE Monica does quite a bit.
“Nutter Butter” is used as the answer to a lot of tie-breaker questions.
ldoo says:
You’re speaking to my soul. I obsessively recorded all the episodes (even years later when they were in reruns) and love that show more than life. I work with a couple of millennials, and my heart sinks knowing they don’t really have an interest in FRIENDS.
Erica L says:
This is a great list. We also frequent the following:
– “a moo point, like a cow’s opinions it doesn’t matter”
– “Salmon skin roll”
– “Could I BE anymore…”
– “Oh no two women love me, my wallets too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!”
– “No I’m a positive person. You are like Santa Claus, on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!”
Just the best show ever.
Jill H says:
LOVE!!!
Melissa says:
I’m in my early 30’s but I never watched Friends growing up, however, my husband watched with his younger sister and insisted I watch a few episodes when we got married. Three years later I’m loving it like I grew up with it (and quoting it too!)
Jordan says:
WE WERE ON A BREAK!
He’s my lobster!!
Basically every quote Chandler has said!
Could I BE loving this post anymore? I think not.
Rachel says:
I was so happy when my teenage daughter binge watched the entire show from start to finish on Netflix. That’s a parenting win!
I love this post.
Ali says:
They don’t know that we know they know we know.
Val says:
UNAGI.
kathi g says:
Massapequa! It sounds like a magical place!
Katrina says:
When my son died last November, I came home from the hospital and stayed in my room for almost two weeks and FRIENDS was constantly playing on my bedroom tv. I just had it on Netflix, playing constantly. I would hit “next episode” as soon as the other ended. Over and over and over. FRIENDS was on 24 hours a day. Once, my husband woke up at 3:00am, saw that I was sleeping, and turned off the TV (it had frozen on
the “are you still watching?” mode) I sprang up in bed and yelled, “NO! Don’t turn it off!” out of a sound sleep. I needed it on, even when I slept. I needed it in the background. It distracted me. It made me laugh. It was familiar. I’m not sure how many times I got through all the episodes before I was finally ready to turn it off. I was almost afraid to turn it off ~ like free porn, I think I was afraid it would go away! <—– (kidding, but you know I had to throw that in there!) Seriously, though, FRIENDS is and will always be my most beloved comedy series.
Peggy says:
Friends is my favorite show of all time. I own every episode on DVD but if there is a rerun on TV, I HAVE to watch it. My husband and I speak to each other almost exclusively in Friends quotes
This was my absolute favorite post!!!!
Kelly says:
Anytime my husband and I talk about getting something for free (or really, really cheap) we say we got it for “so bucks.”
a says:
It’s ironic that you got the quote about ‘not being wrong’ wrong. You were quoting Russ, not Ross. Sorry honey
RD says:
To my husband, you know…sometimes…: “I’m very happy we’re gonna have all the s€x.”
When I see things that are super duper annoying, like when the clocks on the microwave and the stove aren’t perfectly synced: “my eyes! MY EYES!!!”
Jess says:
How could you not link the post of Annie doing Friend’s quotes in this?! ?
Anna says:
Yes, Friends is the show that I will watch anytime. I’ll just leave it on while I’m doing things around the house. The earlier episodes are not my favorite but I’ll still watch them! And anytime I hear anyone mention Yemen I always have to say “15 Yemen Road, Yemen.” My husband was in law school and then working 80 hours weeks during most of Friends’ run, so he never watched it much and initially didn’t get my references. Although now that we’ve been together for 8 years, he understands them more!
Cathi says:
“The point is moo” is my personal favorite.
Laura says:
-Yes, it’s a very large plane.
-I could die an unsuccessful, regular sized man!
-The cushions are the essence of the chair!
I could go on all night…
Laura says:
And a bonus one for people who have the DVDs: “But you left the chair area!”
Kristin says:
These are hilarious! And the comments great too! Friends is my all time favorite show. I always say that there is always a quote from Friends for every life situation.
RD says:
I’m actually a bit sad that no one made any mention of possibly the best character of all: Regina Phalange! PHALANGE!
Holli says:
Ross: You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful”
Actually Russ said this, it was the episode where Rachel was dating Russ, who was Ross’s look a like.
Ok. I’m going to get a life now.
Thanks for your time,