Mike, Annie, and I were out running errands this weekend, as we are wont to do. We went to the mall so I could finally return a pair of shoes that didn’t work for Miss Annie’s feet. I managed to wait until the last possible day to return them per the return/exchange policy of the store. I’m so good at procrastinating. We walked into the store and it was packed – a Presidents Day sale, yaaay. I was the seventh person in line, and after waiting for a few minutes, I looked over at Mike and Annie. Annie was, predictably, grabbing every item off the rack, handing it to Mike, and saying, “Wear it! Annie wear it!”
I immediately knew Mike was not going to survive. I told them to head to the food court and I’d meet up with them. Off they went while I waited in the World’s Slowest Checkout OMG ™.
When I finally walked out of there fifteen minutes later (it felt like fifteen hours) I was surprised to see Mike and Annie walking towards me. Mike had a weird look on his face, but Annie looked fine.
“What’s wrong? You didn’t want to get anything at the food court?”
“Some lady just yelled at me and then she went to the food court so I didn’t want to go there.”
“WHAT?! A lady yelled at you?!”
After Mike and Annie had left me in the store, they’d walked the length of the mall to where a food court/kid play area is (or as I like to call it, the Germ Store). Mr. Massive Diet Coke Consumption needed to use the bathroom, so he took Annie with him into the men’s room. Upon leaving, a woman stopped him and said, “I can’t believe you took that little girl with you into the MEN’S ROOM. Think about all the things she just saw!” and then she TSK’d TSK’d him.
So I asked him if he gave her a headbutt (if I was as tall as Mike, I would headbutt all the time), and he replied, “No, I said, ‘What was I supposed to do, leave her outside?’ and she said back, ‘Try not going to the bathroom until you get home,‘ and then she walked over to the pizza counter and I wanted pizza but I couldn’t wait in line behind her so we came back here.”
I immediately wanted to go to the food court so I could see this woman and tell her to chill out but Mike was firmly against this. He started to fret that he had done something wrong by taking Annabel into the bathroom with him but I told him that was ridiculous. Mike’s tiny lady bladder could never wait until he got home – ever. He carried her into the stall with him and carried her out, and she is TWO FREAKING YEARS OLD jeeez.
When I suggested to him that Annie probably had no idea what was even going on, he said, “well, when I flushed the toilet she yelled, ‘BYE DADA PEE PEE!’ so I think she understands the basics.”
Two days later and Mike is still worried that he has scarred Annie for life. I, on the other hand, am going to hunt down that woman and headbutt her.