Two weeks ago the whole family was on a big outing to Target, or as I like to call it, The Happiest Place on Earth. It was the perfect trip: We got everything on the list, both kids were content, and I even got a coffee at the Starbucks counter (aka Starget). When we got back to the car, I started loading in the kids and Mike started loading in the groceries. Everything was going great until Mike, being helpful, grabbed James’ stroller and folded it up…except he didn’t realize my phone was still in the cup holder until it landed with a loud crack in the parking lot. When Mike handed the shattered phone to me…well, I didn’t say anything because Annabel was right there, and she was yelling, “Mama! Your phone bounced! Mama, is it broken? Mama, oh noooooooooooo!”

The good news is that it still works…kind of. The bad news is that it looks like this:

broken phone screen

There are chunks of glass missing from it, and even today, two weeks later, small slivers of glass shake out of the screen.

It was an accident so I told myself to not be mad, but it’s been hard. Especially because every time I look at Mike I feel like he is rejoicing in his non-broken phone.

damn him
He thinks he’s so great with his non-broken phone.

I spent the first few hours AD (After Drop) obsessively googling “New iPhone 2013” and “Next iPhone” and “Steal husband’s iPhone while he sleeps” and discovered that the next iPhone will be released mid-September. When that happens, all the current phones will drop in price. I decided I could wait that long to get a new phone, as long as my shattered phone could just hang on.

The phone wasn’t in the greatest shape to begin with, but it’s even worse now. It only rings about 80% of the time. Texts don’t make a sound at all. The touch screen works but has patches where it doesn’t always pick up my finger swipes.

Related, my fingers now look like this:

glass cuts

The sad thing is that the first cut didn’t stop me. No, it took two cuts on two different fingers for me to finally say, “Hmm, maybe I should figure out another solution.” Presenting my other solution:

hazard

iPhone in a bag actually works! It protects my fingers while still letting me use my phone. And, it has the added bonus of collecting all those tiny shards of glass! I should market this idea.

The problem with iPhone In A Bag is that everyone has an opinion on it, and none of those opinions are good. Most people say things like, “You know you can get that fixed,” or “Your phone will overheat in there,” or “The humidity inside the bag will ruin your phone.” It’s already ruined, guys! Where was all of your helpful advice before Mike dropped it?!

I refuse to spend any money fixing or replacing this phone since the cheaper phones come out in less than a month. HANG IN THERE LITTLE SHATTERED PHONE, you miserable son of a gun.

Three days before my iPhone shattered, my mom cracked her screen. When she told me about it I said, “Wow, I’ve dropped my phone so many times and it’s never broken!”

Damn it.