I decided I wasn’t going to let a little thing like no job, no prospects, and an army of paperwork bum me out. Or a migraine, the sudden onset of a massive toothache, or my bad back get me down. Or cleaning out my office, turning in my employee badge, or handing over my keys depress me. No sir. I just put those things in the back of my mind and did what any normal person who’d just been laid off would do – I went to the pumpkin patch.


There is a pumpkin patch near my parents’ house that has some rides, a petting zoo, and of course, loads of pumpkins. I was planning on going on the rides. You know, climb the bouncy slide, go on the trampoline, spin in the teacups. But all the rides have weight limits. SUCK.

maze, bounce house, slide

We thought our little hammy daughter would love to sit with pumpkins and put hay in her mouth. We set her down amongst some pumpkins on a bale of hay and…she wasn’t so sure about it.

doesn't work with pumpkins

So we thought we’d go look at the petting zoo. We didn’t go in it, but Maddie liked looking at the animals. There were two goats that were in a fierce head-butting match. One goat would climb a bale of hay, rear up on its hind legs, and then dive head first into the other goat. The entire time we watched, this clueless little blond girl was a foot away. I kept yelling, “WHERE IS A PARENT?”

fighting goats, stupid child

After we watched the goat on goat on little blond girl death match, we thought we’d try to get Maddie down with the pumpkins again.

doesn't work with pumpkins

It didn’t go over well.

I finally sat down with her and she calmed down, although she was still pretty pissed.

Mommy & Maddie at the pumpkin patch

Eight hours later she still has that pissed off expression on her face. This bodes well for pictures with Santa.