We just finished another round of doctor visits for Maddie. I just love spending beautiful late summer days in doctor’s offices, waiting areas, and x-ray rooms. Try to contain your jealousy.
Remember last week, when I was talking about how Maddie is going through a growth spurt that causes her to wake up every two hours to eat? Well, I know nothing. Since July 8th, Maddie has gained a whopping 2.8 ounces and a mere 1/4 of an inch in length. Oh, but don’t worry, her head is still growing right on target. Maddie is a bobblehead! Dr. Looove was perplexed by this development. We have to up Maddie’s caloric intake, and make sure she drinks at least 32 ounces of formula every day. We also have to feed her solids twice a day.
Mike likes having goals, so he is very focused on getting all that food into Maddie. Yesterday he got about 24 ounces into her, plus some pears. Today, Maddie turned to us and said, “yo dudes, I feel like a heffer. I am going on a hunger strike.” No solids, and far less formula. But hey, she’s sleeping more, so bonus. The other good news is that Maddie is right on target developmentally for her adjusted age. In some ways, she resembles a nine month old (she’s nine months old already! Crazy.) with the way she grabs things, follows people, etc. But physically she is still off the bottom of the adjusted chart.
We also had more moments with Dr. Lung that I will just treasure forever. Have I talked about how she is scared of me? I guess if you lose your temper enough on someone, they finally think, “hmm. I don’t think I can play my usual games with this mom anymore.” Mike is the good cop, I am the bad cop. It drives me crazy when Dr. Lung asks us what Dr. Looove has prescribed, only to say, “oh, no no, that isn’t good. You should do this instead,” and then changes doses, calories, etc. I’m sorry Dr. Lung, but Dr. Looove has been around longer than you. She visited Maddie in the NICU. She knows what’s up. You are making stuff up as you go along. I can’t wait for you to not be Maddie’s doctor.
Dr. Lung CAN NOT allow Maddie to have an appointment without some sort of test or procedure. This time, after examining Maddie, she decided we needed to have Maddie’s neck and face x-rayed. Why? Because Dr. Lung thinks Maddie may have enlarged adenoids. Uh, wha? Fine. Whatever. We spent FOR.EV.ER. in the radiology waiting area. My hair grew like four inches. Mike taught Maddie how to read and spell her name. I solved world hunger and still had time for a book of sudoku puzzles. FOR.EV.ER.
Have you ever tried to hold a baby still for anything? Like, really, really still. Oh, and that baby is only wearing a diaper, laying on a hard x-ray table, and you are wearing a very heavy led jacket to protect your delicate baby-making parts? It is like wresting an indignant pig slathered in baby oil, except I’m fairly certain a pig can’t scream with the same fervor as Madeline. We managed to hold Maddie still long enough for a “decent” picture, according to the x-ray tech, and then we decided to leave before the results were read. We couldn’t be in that waiting area any longer. If she has enlarged adenoids, we will probably have to see an Ear Nose & Throat doctor. Yay, another doctor!
I think my favorite part, though, was when Maddie peed all over Dr. Lung’s scale. I’d been considering a similar move myself, but I think if I’d peed on Dr. Lung’s computer I would have been sent to the psych ward.