Mike and I have our fair share of experience telling people that a new Spohr baby is on the way. This last time, we had told our family and had just started to tell friends when we found out the baby miscarried. But that’s not the point of this post. Circumstances being what they were, Mike and I were usually together when we told people a baby was on the way, and we discovered that we had very different ways of making the announcement. So different, in fact, that we are still arguing about it. May I now present to you our two sides, without stating who says what (for fairness, obviously).
Technique Number One: We’re pregnant!
Pro: We are married, and the man is supporting the woman through the entirety of the pregnancy (emotionally, with food runs, etc). It’s his baby too and he deserves credit for helping to grow said child.
Against: Men can never literally be pregnant. To say otherwise makes people think of a crappy Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. A man certainly deserves credit for helping bring a baby into the world, but until men have uteruses (uteri?), men cannot claim pregnancy as a state of being.
Technique Number Two: We’re Expecting/Having A Baby!
Pro: This includes the husband and the wife in a happy, positive, equal way while avoiding the biological impossibility of a man being pregnant. This does not demean the man’s role or ignore how hard it is to literally be pregnant.
Con: The man isn’t just sitting around waiting for the baby, he is doing his part to help the baby grow by caring for and helping the mom with her needs. Saying, “we’re expecting,” is just splitting hairs.
Belly belly bo belly, banana fana foe felly, me my mo melly, BELLY.
So which do you prefer to hear or say? This is a very heated discussion around these parts.
Hayley says:
Definately number 2.
I hate it when people say ‘we’re pregnant’
Barb says:
I’m with you. Hearing people say WE’RE pregnant makes me cringe. Pregnancy is singular, not plural….I get that it takes two to get pregnant, but it is only ONE who IS pregnant.
Bianca S says:
Ditto!! I am a very pedantic person and to me “we’re pregnant” just sounds pretentious and incorrect :p
Kate says:
Yep, definitely 2. Gah I hate when men say we’re pregnant. It annoys me. Seriously are you going to birth the baby too!
Mary says:
I am firmly in the second camp. The man is every bit as important to the child but he isn’t pregnant. It would be like if I said “we are having a vasectomy” because obviously that would be a major life decision affecting both of us equally and I’d be super supportive and care for him. Only one of us would be actually going through the physical process though.
karen says:
Im in the second camp too. A man saying ”we’re pregnant” always makes me want to go “oh yeah? love to be in that delivery room to see YOU have that baby!”
Thats not to say I am putting down fathers in their role but lets face it, the growth bit is all down to the woman and food runs and massages dont really offset labour. Do they?
My husband is a great father (much better than I am a mother!) and a helpful husband. But I grew that child, not him! :-p
Dawn says:
Heh, I sidestepped that particularminefield by using t-shirts both times; once on me and once on the big sister. That being said, in Camp 2 because, well, just no.
Sinead says:
Definitely in the second camp. I hate hate hate when people say ‘we are pregnant’. No, you are not both pregnant. Number 2 says the same message and doesn’t diminish the dad’s contribution.
Vicky says:
Camp 2 for me too. I’ve never liked the term “we” are pregnant.
KH says:
Option two for sure.
johannamaria says:
Camp 2 here too! I would use the “we’re expecting” instead of “we’re having a baby” because sadly, a pregnancy does not always end with a baby being born, so it feels safer. Also, we don’t have that expression in my language (thus I’m stuck with “we’re going to have a baby” expression) so I’d use it whenever I could.
Megan@TrueDaughter says:
I’m with ya. I, and so many others have learned the hard way that being pregnant doesn’t always mean you get to have a baby. Firmly believe in life from conception…just to be clear….but a pregnancy doesn’t always mean you get to raise a baby.
Brooke says:
Definitely option 2 – the ‘we’re pregnant’ just irritates me. I love the vasectomy comparison!
Elizabeth says:
Yes! To the irritating and to the vasectomy comparison. Whenever a couple says we’re pregnant I just want to ask “have you called Science Times?! That’s a medical breakthrough!”
Kate says:
Option 2
Amy says:
The second choice, please. It bugs me when either spouse says “we’re pregnant.”
RzDrms says:
The “splitting hairs” defense made me sad for Mike, so I’m definitely going with Number One. It’s a little extra gift/thank you present for all of the help and support. And it’s free, and so easy to give, and it’ll make him happy and feel more included, and everyone already knows definitively the obvious (that only your body is pregnant). I vote the same way even if Mike’s argument wasn’t Number One.
Molly says:
I like “we’re having a baby!” bc it sounds fun and not overly earnest but if somebody said “we’re pregnant” I don’t think I would be offended or anything–maybe slight eye roll bc it’s not something I would say–but the “pregnant” part would be the more interesting part of the sentence!
Michelle says:
Definitely option 2….it annoys the bejesus out of me when people say “we’re pregnant”.
Kimberly says:
I think cause I’m old school, but I never liked the term “we’re pregnant.” You can still have a beer, sleep on your back, tie your shoes. No, I’M pregnant. So I go with We are expecting.
Lisa says:
I definitely prefer the “We’re expecting/having a baby” approach. I’ve never been a fan of the “We’re Pregnant” phrase, especially when uttered by a man, it just rubs me the wrong way.
Jenn says:
I can guess who said what. I would say #2. Until a man pushes a watermellon out of his penis and lives to tell about it…I think “We’re Pregnant” is a little too generous on his part!! ha ha
OR…you can opt out of on both of those ways & do something more creative?!?!
When we got pregnant with our 3rd baby I was just hitting the 12 week mark when our family got back from our family trip to Florida….so instead of uising either of those ways, I e-mailed all our family and friends with the subject line “OUR KIDS AT DISNEY WORLD”. The 1st 2 pictures were of each of my kids individual at Disney. The 3rd picture was an ultra sound picture of our baby. We let them figure out the rest…which by the way, some did, some for some reason had NO Clue!!!
P.S. Heather…I didn’t realize our b-days were so close!!! Mine was yesterday.
Missy says:
Number Two! Number Two! Number Two! Seriously….what female says, “We’re getting a vasectomy”??
Lauren says:
LOL! That is so true, Missy!
Cassidy says:
I like the first one, and actually kind of dislike the second, hah!
Jana says:
Me too. I like the first, marriage and parenting is teamwork. Everyone is well aware that men can’t be literally pregnant, but why can’t the team say they are pregnant?
Jessica says:
Always #2, I hate when people say “we’re pregnant.”
Lauren says:
Ummmm yeah… WE are never pregnant. WE are not throwing up every morning, noon and night. WE do not gain the weight, suffer from heart burn and all the other glorious pregnancy symptoms. Also? WE are not in labor. When HE can doze off or grab a bite to eat while *I* try to get a person out of my body? WE are not pregnant.
Option # 2.
Susan says:
Option 2. I find we are pregnant silly and irritating.
Charlie says:
OMG Definitely option 2! WE are NOT pregnant! SHE may be but HE isn’t!!!
Susan C. says:
Not like you need another vote for option 2, but that’s definitely how I vote. I agree with so many others, “we” can’t be pregnant but “we” can have a baby. Dads today are a lot more involved with the pregnancy and the kids, but they still can’t be pregnant.
Erin says:
Number Two! It always drives me crazy when I hear a couple anounce “they are pregnant”. They are not pregnant, only the woman is pregnant. Yes, they are having a baby, but no way does the man get credit for being pregnant.
Amanda says:
Personally, I have always cringed when couples say “we’re pregnant” and have never been able to bring myself to say that the times that I’ve been pregnant. For me, the word pregnant is taken literally and only a woman can actually be pregnant, so I find it ridiculous when the man is included in the statement. As a married couple (or any couple for that matter), it’s (hopefully) a given that when the woman says she’s pregnant, the man was the one who got her that way (i.e. of course he is included in the happy event). Back slaps all around for him. I much prefer when people say “We’re going to have a baby!”. This implies that it’s happening to both people in the near future. So are you going to tell us tomorrow which one of you said which announcement????!
NAtalie says:
Definitely number 2! I hate hearing “we’re pregnant”, ugh.
Amanda says:
P.S. I love the vasectomy comparison….such a great analogy….I plan to use it in the future. Imagine a happy couple with matching “We’re having a vesectomy!” t-shirts?! LOL!
Meghan says:
I agree with most others…”we’re pregnant” is lame.
keri says:
#2, I don’t like “we’re pregnant”
TonyaM says:
Poor, sweet Mike. I totally want to go with the underdog and say one because, unlike the slippers/shoe debate here, he’s not getting any support…..BUT, I just can’t. Two. All the way.
Erin says:
Camp 2 for me. If you don’t actually have a baby in your belly, you can’t claim to be pregnant.
Heather says:
Firmly with option 2 over here. I had a mother who was a stickler for proper word usage (and will still correct anyone who misuses between and among) and just can’t wrap my head around option 1. And the husband agrees with me, for what it’s worth.
ColleenMN says:
We’re expecting. A man can’t be pregnant, sorry, he can’t.
robyn says:
As many have already pointed out, two people cannot be pregnant. Is it just semantics? Maybe? But splitting hairs? Absolutely not. The word “pregnant” means physically growing a baby. That being said, I’d never begrudge or question an expectant father friend who said “We’re pregnant!” I’d just smile and think to myself, “No, silly, SHE’S pregnant!”
However, this argument leads to my personal favorite parenting semantics soap box: A dad cannot “babysit” his children. Nothing sets me off quicker than hearing a father say he’s babysitting while his wife is out with friends. I’ve heard women say it, too. “Sure, I’d love to get together next week, but I’ll have to see if Geronimo can babysit.” HELL NO! You have to see if Geronimo is available to take care of the children. If a father is home alone with his children, he is not “babysitting,” he is “being a parent.”
Mijke says:
I totally agree with you on the babysitting semantics!! They are his kids, too…
Michelle H says:
I gotta agree on the babysitting issue too. This drives me nuts! You don’t babysit your own child (though is sures as hell does feel that way some times!!!)
Helen says:
Option 2 ALLLLLLLLLL the way. It makes me vomit in my mouth a little anytime someone says ‘We’re pregnant’. The husband was bothered by that, until I got hit with morning sickness. He changed his mind pretty quick at that point
Adrianne says:
For me, it totally depends on who says it! If the woman wants to say “we’re pregnant” then I’m fine with that. After all, if SHE’S okay with that wording, then I shouldn’t have any problem with it. If SHE wants to be nice and inclusive and use that phrase to make her husband feel more involved, no problem. But if the man says it? No way, Jose! I realize that it’s probably pretty difficult to have a pregnant wife at times (at least I know I was difficult!), but it is soooo not the same as actually being pregnant 24/7 for nine months. Just don’t go there.
Sorry Mike, but you gotta let Heather have this one!
Mijke says:
Hmm… I guess I’m in the minority camp here… Despite being a woman…
Thing is, until your baby is safe and sound in your arms after a nice long pregnancy, there’s no way of knowing you will actually be ‘having a baby’. Therefor, I have my feet firmly planted on the ‘I/she/we am/is/are pregnant’ side of the fence.
Also:
No, a father will not be physically pushing a baby out of his gentleman-parts. Or spent day after day with his head stuck in a toilet vomiting his brains out. Or end up with huge stretch marks, a permanently floppy belly or empty-teabag-breasts that hang over his belly button.
But neither will he ever know the sensation of having a human being grow inside him. Of feeling the little one move around inside. If I were a father instead of a mother, I would voluntarily push out a dozen watermelons just to be able to have those two unique sensations. I think…
If it makes a dad happy to say ‘We’re pregnant’, why not just let him? You can always secretly wink at the other women there while he does so, can’t you?
meoskop says:
#2. He’s not pregnant. She’s pregnant, we’re expecting, etc. Enough things in life become All About The Men without adding this one in. Yes, both of you are having a baby. Only one of you will be ill / at risk.
pb says:
Yeah, I find “we’re pregnant” to be pretty obnoxious, though I’m not assuming that that is either Mike or Heather’s preference. I hear women say “we’re pregnant” all the time. I’ve even heard a couple say, “we’re pregnant” when they were expecting via surrogate. I did not like that at all because it seemed to completely erase their surrogate. I am also a bit annoyed by terms like “paper pregnant” for adults hoping to adopt a child.
I’m all for being inclusive, but “pregnant” is a specific state of being, and I think that claiming it when you aren’t pregnant belittles the risk and sacrifice of pregnancy. I don’t want to be melodramatic, but I wouldn’t say I had cancer if my partner did and I were helping support him/her.
tracy says:
#2.
Mer says:
I HATE we’re pregnant. I have an amazing, amazing husband who is a true partner in parenting, but he’s not pregnant, he’s never been pregnant, and he never will be, and so saying he is, or we are, is plain inaccurate and super annoying.
tricia says:
#2 for sure!
meg....ct says:
Bugs the crap out of me when people say, “we’re pregnant”
I have always gone the “we’re expecting” route.
Dee says:
Hmm, it seems like most of the responders so far have pretty strong emotions one way or the other. For me though, while I prefer option two, I don’t really feel as though anything is necessarily wrong with number one. It’s just words; the meaning is the same, and that’s what counts.
Linda Stewart says:
How about neither? If you tell family together then Mike should be the one to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pull you close, and say “Heather is expecting/pregnant and we couldn’t be happier!”
AJP says:
I like this!
I definitely cringe big-time when people say, “We’re pregnant.” It’s like fingernails down the chalkboard for me. I also cringe when people in relationships cease to speak using the singular, and everything is we this and we that. While I adore my husband, I’m still my own person within that relationship. Like Linda shows, there are ways to express things that involve both people in the couple, yet differently, without having to use “we.”
Kristen says:
I cannot stand when couples say “we’re” pregnant. No, father of the child, you are *not* pregnant. When couples are established and married and the father is supporting the mother, etc, etc, I feel like it’s just understood that he’s the one that helped make the baby. SHE is pregnant. SHE is gaining all the weight. SHE is the one who has to go through labor and delivery. SHE is the one sacrificing wine and medium-rare steaks and sushi for nine months (a big deal for me…those are the things I’m craving this pregnancy). It’s HER body that’s doing this, not his.
That being said, I don’t get upset when people say “we’re” pregnant…it’s just a pet peeve…like fingernails on a chalkboard. My husband phrases it, “Kristen’s pregnant,” or “We’ve got number 2 on the way.”
Michelle H says:
I’m totally in camp 2. “We’re pregnant” just sounds weird. Kind of rubs me the wrong way. Unless of course each of you are carrying a baby in your bellies
Rick W. says:
For both of my kids, I said “SHE is pregnant.” She is doing all of the work…she should get all of the credit for carrying the future bundle of joy.
Linn says:
Anything but “we’re pregnant”. Insta-cringe.
Antonia says:
Number 2! Without question!
Shannon says:
Either way. Who is anyone to judge……mix it up..lol.
Beth says:
I liked saying we’re pregnant when I was expecting. I don’t think my husband would ever had said that though. I like it because it implies that the father WILL, whether he wants to or not, be experiencing the pregnancy in a major way. When I was cranky, couldn’t sleep, extra tired, had to pee several times in the middle of the night, he was going to experience that up close and personally. Meanwhile, I hate when people are so literal. Yes, everyone knows a man cannot actually be pregnant. But, WE are pregnant and dealing with all that that entails.
Sarah says:
“We’re pregnant” is so gross. No you’re not – she’s pregnant and you’re expecting a baby.
cindy w says:
Between the two, I’d pick the 2nd option.
Although when I told my dad, I said, “Hey, what are you doing next May? Nothing? Well, keep your schedule open because you’re getting a grandbaby then!”
kristin says:
I HATE when men say, “We’re pregnant.” It is annoying!
So you’re right (I suspect).
ItsAmy says:
Totally camp #2 for me~ when I was pregnant, a few times I accidentally said “we are pregnant” and then totally corrected myself by saying, “well, not WE so much as ME, I take all the credit for the pregnant part of this baby”
jackie says:
Definitely, we’re expecting/having a baby!!! Hands down!
Katie B says:
Definitely “We’re expecting/having a baby.”
Saying “We’re pregnant” sort of glosses over that the woman has to do all the “heavy lifting” of the pregnancy.
Shannon O says:
I don’t think it really matters. Both ways sound acceptable to me. I think this is just an argument for arguments sake.
Nellie says:
Without a doubt, the second one is the one I’d love to hear, not the first!
Sarah says:
Men cannot be pregnant. The end.
karen says:
I simply cannot stand when a man says we are pregnant.
He isn’t pregnant. The woman is pregnant. He is expecting a baby. End of story.
Jay- The Dude of the House says:
I’ve always been a big proponent of the Costanza-esque:
“My boys can swim!”
But as long as it’s his, I think he can say it however he wishes.
Melissa says:
It makes me crazy to hear, “We’re pregnant.”
Sarah says:
I am a bit sad to think that so many people are bothered by how others might share this news! If the phrase “we’re pregnant” helps a man to feel more included in the development of his child? Hooray! We have far bigger issues in life than being upset about a man who is already invested in his offspring. And/or if the same phrase helps a woman to feel less alone during what is an exciting, but also potentially stressful and scary, time, then what’s the harm? No matter how anyone shares the news, I am just thrilled and strive to be supportive.
Lindsay says:
I agree. If I ever get to share this news with family and friends, I would be so beyond thrilled to do so that I could care less how it’s worded. This argument is, at best, silly and semantic in nature (as you really ARE conveying the same joyful news either way … no one is going to misunderstand #1 to mean you’re both carrying the baby), and at worst, stinging to those who would give anything to share the news at all.
Jessica Makuh says:
My husband does not like it when people say “We’re pregnant.” Men can’t get pregnant. He likes the man to say, “My wife and I are expecting a baby.” I don’t really care either way.
Jeannine says:
My husband and I say that we’re currently expecting. It just sounds REALLY weird if the guy is claiming to be pregnant.
Heather says:
I HATE “we’re pregnant.” The man is not pregnant. And while the man helps, please, it’s almost insulting to pretend that he’s going through the same thing as the woman. At the end of it all, she’s the one who has to push 7 lbs of human out of a very tiny hole!
But the man and woman are, however, expecting a baby. So, option #2.
Amber Bunn says:
Number 2! I definitely would not be happy with my husband walking around saying “We’re Pregnant!” After all I am the one going through the high risk pregnancy, the c-section, and the never go as it’s supposed to recovery… when he experiences that then he can say, “We’re Pregnant!” Until then… I prefer “We’re having a Baby!” Luckily so does he
Adria says:
I like “we’re having a baby!” Not pregnant or expecting.
Denise says:
I’m a fan of “We’re having a baby.”…That’s what we said when it was time to share the news.
Chantel says:
Oh, I’m absolutely a fan of “We’re expecting!”, for all of the reasons mentioned above. Something just bothers me about the images that the first option brings to mind.
Marnie* says:
Definitely, We’re having a baby. Or even, I’m pregnant.
My Husband can’t stand it when people say, We’re pregnant. And I agree.
Rachel says:
I hate hearing “we’re pregnant.” Option #2 all the way.
Carole says:
Another for option two, when given those options. But I must admit, when I was in the situation, it never crossed my mind to say anything but “I’m pregnant!”. And I’m pretty sure that whenever the hubbie told people on his own, he never have dreamed of saying “we”.
And I was another who vetoed the word “baby” until I was about 5 months gone. Pregnant I accepted as a biological fact; baby was theoretical.
Dina says:
My vote is for #2. I hate it when men say “we’re pregnant!” Um, no you’re not. She’s pregnant, but you’re both having a baby.
Let’s add a similar pet peeve of mine. When a man is going to medical/dental school and they always say, “We moved here so WE could attend medical school.” or “We’re going to medical school.” Huh? He’s going to medical school. Why the need to have everything be plural? (This could be reversed if it’s the wife attending medical school.)
Yvonne I. says:
Agreed – “We’re expecting” makes more sense than “We’re pregnant” – only one of the parents can physically be pregnant, yet both can be expecting the baby! Sorry if this means Mike wins – even my husband cringes when he hears someone say “We’re pregnant”. Makes him crazy!!!
Yvonne I. says:
Oh, and just for the record – would we say “We’re having a vasectomy”???
Miriam says:
that’s funny!
Annalisa says:
I hate “we’re pregnant”, because honestly as much as my husband tried to share in the process of pregnancy, the truth was he didn’t have to suffer through the constant heartburn, the backaches, the gestational diabetes, and the big old head that got stuck after 36 hours of labor.
We used “we’re going to have a baby” when telling people, because it seemed to properly convey the information without triggering any splitting hairs (i.e., there’s a baby on the way, and presumably it’s going to be related to whoever “we” is). If and when there’s a number 2 to announce, we’re probably going to say “we’re going to have another baby”.
Jess says:
I fully judge any couple who says “we’re pregnant” So, so, so, annoying. I get that a father wants to be involved in the process, but he isn’t/will never be pregnant. It’s a bit ridiculous that a man would feel the need to say he is pregnant… HE ISN’T.
Hope says:
I hate we’re pregnant.
My husband drove me to appointments and helped me put my socks on when I was about to pop, and did a million other things to help me. Still doesn’t mean that he was pregnant. He was expecting a baby but he was never pregnant.
Holly says:
A friend of mine’s husband (a nurse) said one day “I made the baby!” and friend said, “Uh, no you didn’t.” He replied, “Well, when you make cookies, you don’t claim that the ‘oven’ made them, now do you?” He he he.
Annalisa says:
I’d have replied that with cookies he would at least put in a few minutes of work measuring, mixing and stirring the batter. It doesn’t work that way in a uterus. Both the prepping and the baking is done in that oven. It’s like claiming “I added the sugar to the batter, therefore I made the cookies”. Nuh-uh.
On the topic (we revisit it routinely) my engineering husband goes “Well, I contributed to the building blueprint, and I took care of the builder. That was me contributing.”. That’s pretty much all the credit we’ve mutually agreed on.
lucy says:
I’d go for option 2, but I think it’s Heather who prefers option 1, not Mike. I love it when you guys have ridiculous disagreements like this, though! You’re so funny!
Traci says:
I always said “we’re pregnant”. “We’re expecting” seemed too casual and “we’re having a baby”… that’s too many words. I liked using “we’re pregnant” and although I’m the one who is physically pregnant and endured the morning sickness and everything physically negative, my husband had to endure is own negativities will the pregnancies. Complaining. Getting up and down to fix me something to drink, something to eat. Cleaning up that night’s dinner because I didn’t make it to the bathroom. When I think of all the things he had to do because I was physically ill with a baby in my belly, I think I made out better. We were definitely pregnant together.
Liz says:
I’m personally not a fan of either of those. I think saying ‘we’re pregnant’ is frankly just weird and creepy. No sir, YOU are not pregnant, your wife (or significant other) is pregnant. I also think saying ‘we’re expecting’ is just strange too. I’m always SO tempted to say , “You’re expecting what? A pizza? A furniture delivery? To get some bad weather?” I think we’re having a baby is a much different and better option than saying we’re expecting. Personally the last time we announced a pregnancy I just said “I’m pregnant!” And my husband just said “Liz is pregnant/Going to have a baby!”
This was a very hot topic in our house as well
Nina says:
I really really really loathe option number 1. Because no, mate, you are certainly not pregnant. And unless you are the one puking for three months, or injecting yourself daily or being so incapacitated with stupid ligament pain that you cannot walk for more than five minutes then no, you are nor pregnant. No more than you have been in labour.
Yo says:
i HATE it when people say we’re pregnant. it’s weird and makes me think of seahorses. male seahorses give birth, and i’ve thought it was gross and unnatural since the third grade. also, that alien dude in that movie… lou gossett junior… gave birth in a cave…my sentences aren’t even working right i’m so grossed out.
Dawn says:
Definitely #2 without a doubt. I can’t wait to find out which of you prefer #1.
1coolmom says:
I’d say option #2, for sure!
Diane says:
I hate it when a couple says “We’re pregnant!” The husband is NOT pregnant! It actually creeps me out a bit when I hear that!
Bridget says:
2. hands down, no question.
Lynnette says:
Wow. I’m surprised at the heat that one phrase causes. After having struggled physically and emotionally to get pregnant, I proudly exclaimed “We’re pregnant!” Our infertility dance was mutually danced as a team. Our journey was taken as a team. Our daughter was conceived as a team. So while I carried her, my husband, her Daddy, remained a very important part of my team. And we just as proudly proclaimed “We had a baby girl!” whether or not it was physically possible for him to “have” her.
Miriam says:
I’m fine either way – in fact sometimes when discussing my the past, I’ll say “we were already pregnant”
I do generally enjoy your he said vs. she said, but this was probably not your most compelling (for me).
Melissa says:
I prefer “We’re expecting” because you both are and it gets rid of the whole debate. Mom is pregnant but you are both expecting so it seems to fit better.
Diane B. says:
Option #2, but it doesn’t bug me when I hear Option #1.
Katrina @ They All Call Me Mom says:
Hmm, “We are pregnant!” so then….WE get morning sickness? WE get stretch marks? WE have to go through labor pains and push a watermelon-size kid out of you-know-where? OUR body takes a hit (or two or three, or in my case nine) and never, ever looks the same again?
WE are pregnant?
No, I don’t think so.
But yet, WE are BOTH expecting a baby.
Jane says:
YES, EXACTLY.
Sarah says:
I dislike ‘we’re pregnant’ not because ‘mums do all the hard work bla bla’, but because it’s just not grammatically correct, unless you mean ‘pregnant’ as in ‘waiting’, which… You don’t.
My feelings about this phrase are best summed up by the look on Steve Martin’s face in Father of the Bride Part II when his daughter says ‘we’re going to have a baby!’, and her husband says, ‘we’re pregnant!’.
AmandaPN says:
I’m shocked so many people are against number 1. I don’t mind it. No, the man isn’t pregnant, but my spouse and I share everything. When I’m feeling crappy, he’s there supporting me by taking care of the kids and letting me nap, or massaging my back, or getting me something to eat. He experiences sympathy nausea, too. I think it is extremely petty to dislike it so much.
Molly says:
I’m such a purist on this one I’m going to go with neither. I’d only accept “Heather is pregnant!” or “I am going to be a father again!” However you slice it, men play a supporting role in pregnancy. I don’t think that diminishes it–their supporting role is *hugely* important in terms of health, emotions, family bonding, everything. Isn’t it okay to have someone do the work and someone doing the supporting?
Kayt says:
I’ve always said, “I’m pregnant; we are so excited!” Because of the cons with both.
How about “Annie’s going to be a big sister!” ?
Ash says:
Okay, I understand the need to involve the man in the post-conception pregnancy process, and I believe in giving men FULL credit when they are involved in the lives of their progeny and fellow procreators every step of the way.
However, “we’re pregnant” is SO annoying.
It just does not make sense on ANY level. Personally, when someone says “we’re pregnant”, I picture them joined at the abdomen and simultaneously gestating the same baby.
It also doesn’t match the other phrases used to refer to pregnancy. Looking back, the man is never going to reflect on the experiences he had when he was pregnant. He will refer to what happened when SHE was pregnant. Maybe he’ll refer to how it related to him, but he cannot singularly claim pregnancy under any circumstances. He will never refer to how stressful/tiring/happy his life was when he was pregnant, unless he is seriously confused about what was going on for those 9 months.
Considering the people in my life who say “we’re pregnant”, I always feel like they’re trying too hard to seem stable. Like they’re trying to make SURE you know that Dad is sticking around, and will gloss over the biological facts of the condition to drive the point home. People who are secure in their relationships, in my experience, are comfortable admitting that the female partner is the one tasked with the actual process of incubation. Then SHE will go into labor (not both of them) and then they will BOTH parent the child.
Marin D says:
I hate the “we’re” pregnant. “We” are doing anything. “We” aren’t hanging over a toilet 24/7 puking our brains out. “We” don’t get poked, prodded, monitored, put on bed rest, get cut open, etc. But “we” are expecting a baby. Granted my husband put up with a lot of crap from me because I was so sick and had so many complications. On the other hand he got to go to work everyday while I tethered to a machine in the hospital or doctor’s office. LOL. Am I bitter about my pregnancies? Just a little. I know it could have been worse but, hey, we all need something to complain about and that is what I choose.
Mommy says:
I’ve never really given this one much thought. I hear people say “we’re pregnant” or “they’re pregnant” about a couple and it never bothered me at all. I think when a daddy or mommy says this they are just excited about the joy that they both feel. No harm, no foul. But based on the comments it really bugs some people! Funny, now I will totally notice when people say it and think of said Arnold movie!
When hubby and I announces our first, we said that Santa was coming early that year and bringing us a baby. For our second, we had our son wear a “I’m going to be a big brother” shirt at a family event and just waited until everyone noticed. It was fun! If we have a third, who knows how we will announce it!
Oh and one more thing, I have a same sex couple friend who were both did invitro at the same time over and over, hoping that it would work for one of them. After many failed attempts, you guessed it, they both ended up expecting, so they announced their news by taking a pic of each wearing a shirt that said, “We’re pregnant!” It was really cute and in that case, literally the case!
Any way you announce it, it’s so exciting so I say whatever way you want to phrase it is perfect!!
Mommy says:
Ugh ignore all my typos. Typing on my phone while a 3 year old and 1 year old try to grab it from me!!
Shauna says:
I feel bad saying it, but “we’re pregnant” makes me roll my eyes a little bit. I understand and respect how supportive some men are during pregnancy, but they still aren’t actually pregnant. “We’re having a baby” or “We’re expecting!” is a great way to acknowledge that support, if that’s how you want to word it.
Kayla says:
Without reading the other hundreds of comments, (so I’m assuming I’m probably being a parrot here but w/e squaaaawk) most definitely #2. Of course the father is every bit as important as the mother, but it’s just fact: The *woman* is pregnant and *together,* they are having a baby. Sorry, Mike!
Because we aaaall know who said what here. (;
hdj says:
Honestly, as long as men don’t say “we’re pregnant” I don’t care how they announce it. I guess if a pregnant woman wants to say that, they should be able to, but I completely agree that the man is most definitely NOT pregnant. Suffering the consequences, perhaps, but not even close to the vicinity of pregnant.
Natashajk says:
I always said “We’re pregnant” because, while I was the one technically pregnant, my husband was the one who dealt with the rest of the house and family while I lay in bed and threw up for months. He also catered to my every whim and need and held my hand whenever he possibly could. While I was the one who was technically pregnant, because of how difficult I found pregnancy (especially my last one) it definitely impacted both of us.
My husband was never comfortable with me saying “We’re pregnant!” because he pointed out, he wasn’t the one who was pregnant. I just had a different view of it.
Kelli D says:
I don’t much like either. There isn’t much “we’re” about the actual pregnant part. Also, “we’re expecting” well.. expecting what? A dinosaur? ha My husband and I always joke we will just tell people I am knocked up I get the arguments for both, but neither have ever really settled with me. Maybe “we are going to be parents” will be our approach.
Becca_Masters says:
saw this today and thought of this post!!!!
http://cheezburger.com/6409981696