I’ve had my share of embarrassing stories when it comes to, uh, women things. I never thought I’d top my first period story, but then yesterday happened.
I got my period for the one billionth (third) time since Annabel was born. I don’t know what the deal is, but this time has been especially rough. Cramps so bad that I was breaking into my c-section stash of ibuprofen and it was barely making a dent. Unfortunately, I had a lot to do so I couldn’t just curl up on the couch with a heating pad.
Mike’s mom is in town, so we met up with her for dinner. We had a leisurely meal, talking and passing Annie around. After we were done, his mom walked the two blocks back to her hotel, and Mike, Annie and I walked through the outdoor mall back to our car. We were about halfway down the block when I suddenly realized I was literally three seconds away from a massive tampon fail.
At this point, I knew I could do only one of two things. I could turn around and walk the half block back to the restaurant and use their bathroom, allowing the entire mall to see that I had my period, or I could improvise.
I chose the latter, and before Mike even knew what was happening, I pulled him and Annie into the nearest store. I quickly fashioned a barrier of a clothes rack, Annie’s stroller, and Mike, and then I reached into my bag, pulled out one of Annabel’s diapers…and shoved. it. down. my. pants.
Mike saw what I was doing and said, “are you PEEING? In the ADIDAS STORE?!?!”
Luckily, when I explained what happened he was sympathetic. And also completely grossed out.
As for me, I’m traumatized. But at least I can now curl up with my heating pad without Mike giving me a hard time.
Lisa says:
I hope you feel better soon. My first few after babies were evil!! And men just never get it!
Alice says:
Oh Heather. That is pretty traumatic. We’ve all been there, though. How about the time I dozed off on the schoolbus and woke up 30 minutes later, stood up and strutted off in my little yellow sundress… onto to realise I had not only gotten my period, I had soaked through the dress, the seat and had blood all over my legs.
It’s FUN being a girl.
Erica says:
Good Morning Heather,
I hope you are recovering from your traumatic experience and can spend today curled up on your sofa with your heating pad and baby Annie for company. I’m sure Mike will take very good care of you.
Sending you a big hug from afar.
Love Erica
Veronika says:
I went to the movies once with my dh, sometime last year actually. Came out and realized that my period started and was slowly soaking its way through my cream colored pants. I was completely unprepared and pulled my sweater down to my knees to try and keep things covered so I could just get to the car. Being a girl rocks.
My daughter turned 13 weeks old yesterday and I’ve had my period twice since she turned 6 weeks old. What is up with that??
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Oooh, I hate that feeling! Top marks for ingenuity, though. Now curl up with that heating pad and lots of chocolate, the trauma will fade
.-= Kate @ UpsideBackwards´s last blog ..No no no no yes =-.
Heather says:
you, too? It’s so unfair! Stupid periods!
Rebecca says:
excellent thinking mama!
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..father and son nap =-.
Lindsey says:
I was in the ER with my little girl — had a major tampon fail. Stuffed a diaper in my pants. Very resourceful, us mommys.
edenland says:
I am in AWE of you sharing your epic tampon fail on your blog. That takes balls, mate. Big kahunas.
.-= edenland´s last blog ..Remember that scene in Poltergeist when the mother turns her back for five seconds and the ghosts pile all those chairs on the kitchen table? =-.
Della says:
word.
also i’m sorry it hurts so bad! I got mirena to prevent that kind of ow, and apparently the side effects are
[size 112 font plus pause for emphasis]PMS!!!!
So I hope they do something for you, but think twice before trying mirena as the fix.
Mary says:
I have mirena and no side effects, no periods. It’s WONDERFUL! (So ask your doctor what she thinks)
Whitney says:
I had the Mirena for 9 months before I saw any kind of side effects. Then like the drop of a hat I went ape shit!!!! I had PMS from hell, was losing hair by the handfuls, gaining weight like I was pregnant, NO sex drive– You name it… My body went on BOYCOTT! You should really reconsider it especially if you are a low hormone kind of person. The Mirena has WAY too much in there for me… It was basically like being 9 months pregnant 24/7. You know its bad when your husband says “Can I just take that thing out of you?!?!?!?!?”
Tess says:
The Mirena has actually only a tiny little bit of hormone. The lowest amount of hormone available in any type of hormonal contraception – and it is generally accepted that for most women, periods (and bleeding) do get lighter with hormonal contraception use – but especially with Mirena.
That said, contraception is not a one size fits all topic, and I don’t mean to invalidate Whitney’s negative experience. I just think that we have to approach these things on an individual basis.
(my background is that I work in contraception clinical research at an academic Ob/Gyn department – and we always recommend that each person explore her options for herself, but try to stay away from he said she said anecdotes because each person is so unique!)
Jen the Catalyst says:
I have the Mirena too – I’m on year #4. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it and no side effects.
.-= Jen the Catalyst´s last blog ..Kendall’s Favorite Paris Memory: Donuts =-.
Kate says:
I had Mirena for 9 months after my daughter was born and I HAD to have it out. I was crazy! Angry all the time, bloated, plust I NEVER LOST ANY BABY weight! AND I had horrible horrible headaches. I had the mirena removed a month ago and I’ve since lost weight and no more headaches. OB said it was a sensitivity to the progesterone. Some of us ladies are just sensitive to ANY hormones added no matter how little it says it is. I would not recommend Mirena to anyone, ever!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Memories =-.
Krissa says:
First, I am sorry for your pain. I have endomitriosis and so this is one pain that I can sympathize with and know what it feels like. … I have to say, that story is hilarious! But only because of Mike’s “are you PEEING? in the ADIDAS STORE”? That actually made me lol. Feel better soon.
Krissa says:
p.s. I meant to put “only” in all caps!
ClassyFabSarah says:
Stupid stupid girly parts…. I am still convinced they were designed to TORTURE woman-kind.
.-= ClassyFabSarah´s last blog ..My Lunch is So Depressing =-.
Karen says:
I am on Seasonale now because my periods got so bad. It worksreally well. Hillarious story, but also I feel for you.
.-= Karen´s last blog ..Forsythia and toilets, signs of spring. =-.
Lisa says:
I’m on Seasonale too. But that’s due to eight week periods that never end!
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Ponytail Parfaits =-.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
Heather, you are definitely a quick thinker!!
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..My husband is immune to pouting, darn it. =-.
meg says:
Awesome story! haha Sorry it had to happen to you, but I have been in similar situations, you are lucky you had a diaper to use
.-= meg´s last blog ..LOTS OF Birthday Pics!!! =-.
Sue says:
I was dying laughing at Mike’s asking you if you were peeing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good thing that you had Annie’s diapers! You’ll have to tell her that story when she’s old enough to have her period!!!!
Kristen McD says:
It’s awful, how wonky periods become after giving birth. I’m glad you were able to improvise!!
charlane says:
I would have never thought of that! Embarrassing but much better than a tampon fail! l Good thinking!
.-= charlane´s last blog ..Let’s Play! =-.
Heather says:
Late last summer I was at the beach for a friend’s kiddo birthday party and was giving my new Diva Cup a whirl.
I sneezed hard, three times in a row
The cup shot straight out of my vagina on the third sneeze… in th emiddle of a public beech while i wore my swimsuit…
In short, damn, I know how you feel
.-= Heather´s last blog ..heatherpi: @AnnieBeeKnits hw are you feeling? anything new on the pain management front? =-.
Nanette says:
Oh.
Em.
Gee!!!
.-= Nanette´s last blog ..Em’s big break =-.
Cathie says:
I had to Google “diva cup”. But now that I KNOW. I’m with Nanette. OMG!!!
Heather says:
my mouth is haaaaaaaaaaaaanging open right now!!!
Heather says:
hope it makes you feel at least marginally better about your story :o)
Lisa Marie says:
You go girl! Way to MacGuyver your way out of that situation! Isn’t it GLORIOUS being a woman?
.-= Lisa Marie´s last blog ..He’s My Brother… =-.
Suzanne says:
Quick thinking!! Don’t you just love being a woman sometimes??!
Hope you feel better soon!!
rachel cortest says:
LMAO
Cara says:
Way to go on the quick thinking!
It could have turned out a lot worse though….if some teenage employee thought you were shoplifting.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..A Case of the Mondays – Swapping makes it Better =-.
Johanna says:
Every girl has at least one story. I too have endo so I have countless stories. My big one was age 14, about to step out onto stage to sing with the band in front of a whole school assembly when my boyfriend who had entered the hall a minute or two behind me came running at me as fast as his legs could carry him and hissed furiously in my ear “You got your girl things!”. I ended up wearing his huge jumper tied around my waist 80’s style over my lovely -formerly sky blue now partly bloodstained – dress which i had picked especially to make me look fab for the performance lol I’m still fond of that dear boy to this day for preventing what would have been the biggest catastrophe of my young life
Johanna says:
P.S – Just read your post about your first period and found it eerily familiar. I was 9 (Yeah I know, someone always has to out-do you lol) and wearing light blue jeans at school when it happened. Mum was nowhere to be found and her female boss at the time came and got me and took me home. I think the most humiliating thing was that Mum told Dad who decided my ‘entry into womanhood’ was a joyous occasion and took us all out to dinner to celebrate LOL
Panni says:
I think your dads reaction was quite awesome actually.
Anna Marie says:
Those spare diapers come in handy at the oddest times, don’t they? =)
Catherine Lucas says:
Wow… quick thinking. It should be ruled by law to have a diaper at all times when menstruating.
My solution for this re-occuring problem was to get on a baby pill that you take 28 days on 28, no menstruation what so ever anymore… Who needs it anyway? (I am outside of baby zone, too old… so I do not NEED it anymore! Thanks… It has been enough) – And why is it that we are all embarrassed about a possible leek… It’s only a leek, right?????
.-= Catherine Lucas´s last blog ..A sad day in the barn… =-.
Sarah P says:
You are the smartest woman alive!
Jenn says:
AAAAWWWHHHHH – Poor Girlie!!!!! I’m sorry! But, look at it this was…. You can ALWAYS pitch an new ad for Pampers now….
“PAMPERS…..Their Just Not For Baby Pee or Poo ANYMORE”!!!! You could be the spokes person and do a reenactment while, Mike sings a new paper song on his guatar and of CoURSE, Annie would have to be in it with a diaper on to show they can still be used for the regular baby poo & pee. Hey….Rig could even be in it too since you have those pictures of her in a diaper!!! Only person who has not had the whole diaper expressince is Mike so maybe he can wear one when he sings his song?!
Sheesh, I should be your frickin agent! ha ha
SMILE & Feel Better….cuz my sweet friend….you just made about a 1000 000 people do so!!!
Lots of Love & Pamper Dreams…
Jenn
xoxo
Brittany says:
“are you PEEING? In the ADIDAS STORE?!?!”
THIS IS MY DYING RIGHT NOW OMG!
And for the record, if I was going to pee anywhere in the mall, it would be in Bebe. The girls there totally deserve it.
.-= Brittany´s last blog ..It’s like I need a chastity belt. For my boobs. =-.
Julie from Michigan says:
Oh Heather, that is awful. 3 weeks ago my best friend had her baby and I was one of her birth coaches, and I also had a major tampon fail while she was mid push, I was so embarrassed. My son is almost 9 months old and my period is still all over the place (sorry if that does not shed any rays of hope), but I was so mortified, here SHE IS having the baby and I AM THE ONE bleeding all over the place, I could not just walk away and ask her to wait ya know! So needless to say I felt like a high school girl with a sweat shirt tied around my waist for the rest of the day, it was a long labor!
Jen says:
I am impressed with your quick-thinking! I would have panicked and probably cried.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Maggie snippets =-.
Mary Ann says:
Been there, haven’t thought of that, great thinking!
Linda Campbell says:
OMG, that is the worst feeling! After I had my son, via c-section, I bled for FIVE MONTHS, yes, I said that right!!! I finally had to have a hysterectomy, after my first, and now only child Because of the two surgeries so close together, my bladder is not quite the same. While at my parents house recently with pneumonia, every time I would cough I would pee! Not to wake my parents to get up every time I coughed at night, I stuck one of my son’s diapers “down there”! They work great, for a lot of people/reasons!! Thought you’d get a chuckle out of that one!
Meg...CT says:
We have all been there…had to leave an school event for my children just last month to go home to SHOWER and return.
Christy says:
My husband always says, “it’s good to be a guy!” when it comes to these kinds of things. I agree. You are very quick on your feet. I don’t think I would’ve been to clever! Hope you feel better soon.
.-= Christy´s last blog ..Love and Hate =-.
Claire says:
omg that made me laugh…but i also sympathize! You poor thing. Hopefully the pain passes soon!
Mary P says:
I had really heavy periods when I was young. I remember my second or third period EVER we were on a family trip up to Banff. I ruined forever the cloth back seats in our Volkswagon Rabbit because I couldn’t stop bleeding like a stuck pig. Worst family trip ever.
.-= Mary P´s last blog ..Outrageous or just sad? =-.
Kelly says:
Good thing Annie is still wearing the tiny baby diapers….that could have been a bit um, bulky, if she was a bigger baby!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..A Targety Shopping Trip. =-.
Rebecca says:
Oh, thanks for the laugh!
As for me, I’ve always had bad cramps so I really don’t want to know that they’ll get worse after having a baby. RIght now I plan on crawling back into bed with an aspirin and skipping my first class because I’m dealing with it right now.
Eating bananas actually helps with cramps amazingly. That’s what I always do as soon as the thought of eating anything doesn’t repulse me. About ten minutes later it doens’t hurt anymore.
Nicole says:
done that in a car during bad traffic. either that or soil the seats.
Deborah says:
Boy, I can’t wait until the security footage of THIS little maneuver ends up on the news!!!
(((hugs)))
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..New Camera, New Lenses, New Excitement =-.
mamanathalie says:
DID YOU CHECK FOR CCTV!!!???
because would NOT be funny…
Lisa says:
Oh.My…let me just say I can feel your pain and embarrassment. I’ve totally been in a very similar situation :}
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..Seasonal Allergies in Babies and Toddlers =-.
cindy w says:
Oh lord, that’s awesome. At least Mike’s mom had already left by the time your “incident” happened. Because that could’ve been A LOT worse.
Also, I don’t know why, but this is what your story made me think of.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/10234/saturday-night-live-annuale
.-= cindy w´s last blog ..This is what happens when you have a girl =-.
red pen mama says:
I call that a “breach”. And while I have been there, I have yet to have to resort to a diaper. Good thinking!
Of course, now that both my girls are potty-trained, that will not be a backup plan for me. Dang it.
.-= red pen mama´s last blog ..Me Time FAIL =-.
Java says:
haha…too funny! The things us women have to do! One time I had to stuff a bunch of paper towels in my underpants…talk about uncomfortable! I had marks on my legs for day from the roughness of those cheap paper towels!
.-= Java´s last blog ..Tuesday Beauty Tips-Wrinkles and your Pillowcase!! =-.
Megan says:
Oh noooo. I feel your pain! I had massive issues in 8th grade soon after my first period, thanks to my mom not bothering to explain to me that whole absorbency thing and the fact that pantyliners do NOT offer the same level of protection as the huge foot-long with wings big enough to fly away on pads. The most embarrassing day of my life, by far. It was years before I realized the same thing had happened to lots of other women. Periods suck. Thank goodness for makeshift barriers and Annie’s diapers!
Tracey says:
my mom did not explain the absorbency thing either. I was in grade 6 when this happened to me.
I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me!!
leslie says:
UGH! That’s a bad one. Once when I was in Paris all of the stores were closed so I couldn’t buy tampons. Like ALL DAY LONG! So I used some toilet paper….and it FELL OUT. As I was walking next to a train in the train station. So I continued walking and never turned around to acknowledge the bloody pile I had left…
Men have nothing that even comes close.
Nikki says:
Periods SUCK. I feel your pain.
XOXO from GA,
Nikki
Jodie Brooks says:
This is the funniest thing I have ever heard!! I love it!! Good thinkin’!!! You made my day!!
Kelly says:
I really feel for you. How awful!! Awesome quick thinking
I’ve heard that if it keeps up (bad periods) that acupuncture can do wonders. I’m just about to start that myself after last month having a D&C to try to calm things down!
One thing that I have done that I’ll never look back from was move to a menstrual cup. Most women should only need to change them approximately every 12 hours, so if you’re fresh before you go out you’re much less likely to suffer massive fail. Of course, my post baby period problems exclude me from that pleasure (34ml cup taking me half an hour to fill!! No slowdown overnight, bleeding 10 out of 28 day cycle, anemic and getting more and more braindead by the month). The cup takes twice as long to fill as a maternity pad, so it’s all win as far as I’m concerned!! I’m using a ladycup – you can get them in purple (which mine is
hope things normalise for you FAST, and that you don’t have too much pain.
Love and hugs to all
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Wedding belle =-.
Katie says:
I’ve had bad days too. I had the period from hell at work and guess what? All of the water was shut off. ALL OF THE WATER. IN AN ENTIRE STORE. AND. THE ENTIRE MALL. AND THE ENTIRE BLOCK. So basically… It was the worst day of my life, ever. I would have killed to dive into a clothes rack with a diaper..
Just Jiff says:
I’m sorry, it’s not funny but that made me laugh really hard!
And that was awesome, quick thinking!
.-= Just Jiff´s last blog ..Happy Easter 2010 =-.
Jessica Harrison says:
Girl! I can totally relate to this! That is so something that would happen to me! I get TERRIBLE, and I mean terrible cramps, like black-out-from-the-pain cramps. I started buying these heating pads that you stick in your underwear and they are pretty awesome! You need them if you don’t have them already. They stay hot for 8 hours and there’s no dang cord to keep you tied down! Best of luck with “happy periods”! LOL!
Olivia says:
Ooh… Where can I find these heating pads?
Jessica Harrison says:
I get them at Wal-Mart over by the Icy Hot. They are AWESOME!! Hope they help you like they do me!
Ms. Moon says:
Smart, fast thinking. Now- you’re not still on your anti-clotting meds are you?
.-= Ms. Moon´s last blog ..Special Day =-.
Molly says:
Way to improvise! I guess those newborn diapers aren’t much smaller than a maxi pad anyway, LOL.
Funnily enough, I got my period at 11…and I was dead last among my friends! I guess we Texas girls must be fast
Lisa says:
Funniest thing I have Ever Read. Hilarious!
Lisa says:
The store cameras will love that! LOL
Amanda says:
I am so sorry… but that was the funniest thing I have read today.
kristen says:
HA! LOLOLOL!!! I am SO sorry to laugh at your expense, but I needed that! I loathe my period and can sympathize…though, luckily I cannot empathize! I sure hope there were no security cameras watching you-an Adult Woman-diaper up! Way to think on your feet, girl!
Hoping you feel better!!!!
Katie says:
Mike’s confusion made me laugh out loud and I am in the library.
You get bonus points for thinking on your feet!
I wonder if maybe at some point you would like that birth control pill where you don’t get your period? Seasonal?
Libby says:
That is totally BRILLIANT!! I never would have thought of that. Kudos to you!!
Jess says:
Now, I’ve never had a shove-a-diaper-down-my-pants-by-the-sports-bras period moment, but boy howdy you should see this mama run when the onset of total tampon fail is commencing. It’s like a weird, bird-like/raptor thing that probably does anything BUT keep that mess from making its debut with sparkly baton twirling fanfare.
I’ll most likely try the diaper thing next time. Size 6 diaper though…may look a bit funny in my skinny jeans…
mtobin says:
You are so brave and SOOO funny. Been there.. Check out NovaSure… had it done and it CHANGED my life. No drugs, no hormones etc. You may not be ready to do it, but once you are .. it is easy and wonderful!!
Take care.
Vicky says:
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do! I love creativity! Way to go!
Eric's Mommy says:
What a way to improvise!
Love Mikes comment “are you PEEING? In the ADIDAS STORE?!?!” Made me laugh out loud.
I’m sorry you had to go through that though.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] says:
oh
mah
gah
thatisall
.-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..The Most Famous Celebrity in the World Loves Wasabi =-.
Tracy says:
OMG! I think this may have been the funniest thing I’ve ever read…EVER!!!! I’m sorry, I know it’s not funny, but it’s sooooooo funny! I can barely even contain myself right now! =)
Aunt Becky says:
Bwahahahahahaha.
Please tell me when I come out to visit, this will happen so that I can tell The Internet ALL ABOUT IT. PLEASE?
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog ..Go Ask Aunt Becky =-.
Tracy says:
OH MY GOSH I’m DYING!!!!
That is hilarious!
*waving hi … apparently we live pretty close, well kind of close and i’m just excited because all the bloggers i talk to are far – as in states – away*
Mary @ Holy Mackerel says:
Awesome. I hope we can meet someday, because I know we’d be best friends.
.-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Anxiety Brings Out The Vennom In Me =-.
MamaCas says:
I’m sorry to laugh at your horror…but DAMN that’s funny.
Christine says:
Ohh that sucks and I’m sorry that your periods are so brutal now.
However as I read the part about the diaper all I could think was “Brilliant!”
.-= Christine´s last blog ..End of an era. =-.
Amber says:
LOL! OMG!
.-= Amber´s last blog ..14th Month Birthday Post… =-.
Kelly says:
I don’t mean to laugh at your traumatic experience. I can’t imagine the horror that crosses your mind when you know you don’t have many options. I think you get a Girl Scout badge or something for being the MacGyver of the feminine world.
Kudos to Mike for handling as well as he did. My husband would NEVER let me live it down. EVER.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..The Pink Dot =-.
Diana says:
Did the same thing when I was stuck in traffic from Disneyland and I had to pee so bad that I was afraid I wouldn’t make it home. I stuffed a diaper down my pants while sitting completely stopped on the freeway. Although I felt semi-safe to pee in my pants, there’s some mechanism in your body that won’t allow a person over the age of 4 to consciously wet themselves, so I never actually used it.
Mary M says:
And at the other end of the woman’s fertile life are the perimenopausal periods, called The Red Sea by my friend Bertha. One day at WORK I suddenly felt the whoosh – no warning, just the sea, through my maxi pad, my cream-colored linen pants, and into my office chair. Had to toss my spare sweater over the chair, limp soaked to the bathroom, clean myself and my pants, dry them to wearability, back to the office. Not a very good day.
Your resourceful inspires!
Hugs to you,
Mary
Ashley says:
You are far more ingenius than I, I would have done the walk back and felt like a fool. A diaper never would have occured to me. You’ll be telling this story to Annie when she’s 16 and she’s going to promptly purchase some pampers and fire one in her bag, just in case
Sorry that happened to you, hope you feel better soon.
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Cindy’s Wobblog Giveaway! =-.
Katrina says:
Hey, I like your quick thinking! I’m impressed!
I have had my share of bad period stories, so I can totally relate. I always go about a year without a period after having a baby, though. I’ve been lucky in that respect. And since I have nine kids, well, the same box of tampons have been sitting in my bathroom cabinet for, oh, I don’t know…about 10 years? LOL.
.-= Katrina´s last blog ..Just a Pet =-.
Miss Grace says:
Thanks for the early-morning Laugh Till I Cry.
.-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..MOAR PIKSHURS! =-.
Kim @ Beautiful Wreck says:
Should I apologize for laughing and thinking that was the most fantastic idea ever.
.-= Kim @ Beautiful Wreck´s last blog ..Follow the Rabbit =-.
monica says:
wow, regarding another comment,just looked up a diva cup, that would be seriously embarrassing. You get an “A” for quick and smart improvising. Sucks being a woman.
Kimberly says:
Oh my! LOL
Trisha Vargas says:
You are mad fast under pressure with the improvisation! I wouldn’t never thought of that in a million years.
Hope your cramps get better and sooner rather than later!
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Jeannine says:
when i was in high school i was watching a neighboring school’s soccer game. One of the girls (whom i knew) on the team was making a run at the goal. Sprinting full speed down the field. And then what happened? Her pad fell out of her shorts and flew in the air behind her.
Can you imagine? 21 other people on the field, the referee and everyone in the stands suddenly got REAL quiet.
Thanks for sharing your story. I needed a smile this morning!
Jennifer says:
I don’t post often, but I have to say that I laughed out loud at this post!! It was so funny!
Poor girl – I feel bad that you had to deal with that, but I am reading your story in public and I burst into snorts of laughter.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog .. =-.
Vhmprincess says:
Hmmm. That sounds like A LOT….is it always like that or just recently? Is it possible you have a tiny bit of placenta or something (my DR said a piece as small as a fingernail clipping) can cause the uterus to be irritated…I’ve had it happen twice (with each of my last 2 kids) where there is a bit remaining causing excessive bleeding….
Melissa says:
I like everyone else can relate. I work at a desk job. Sometimes sitting for hours at a time without getting up. You KNOW what happens when you sit for long periods of time when you have your period right? Even if its not time for changing the tampon cannot withstand that kind of a rush flow.
I am invariably wearing khaki’s when it happens.
Erin says:
OMG….I don’t know what I would have done. It sucks to be a girl!!!
Laurie SL says:
You are too funny, Heather! Don’t worry, no one will remember (if they even knew what you were doing)…and believe me, husbands are forgiving and their memories are very short. Almost every mother has a horror story like this, don’t worry, you’ll laugh about it later.
Glenda says:
it’s definitely has happened on many occasions. it sucks to be a girl! i’ve had to wrap the sweater around my waist and get home to a mess and sometimes wearing white. the worse. at least Mike was sympatheic, but grossed. men usually are grossed out lol hope you feel better soon!
Mary says:
And this is exactly why I don’t own any light colored pants, shorts or skirts. If I want my cycle to start, all I have to do is wear white pants. Even if I just finished, I will start again. It’s like a red flag to a bull.
danielle says:
Thanks for this post – it made my (already crappy by 9am) day MUCH better. It’s such a gift when we can laugh WITH each other and ourselves.
Lisa from WV says:
Okay, I feel bad for you, but as I was taking a bite of a leftover chocolate Easter rabbit, I spit half of it out and got choked on the other half when I came to the part where Mike thought you were peeing. That’s hilarious that he thought you would just stop and pee in a diaper in the middle of a store. I’m just picturing the play by play in his mind, and I am cracking up.
Chrisie says:
THAT SUCKS!!!!!! Hope it normalizes soon!!!
(((HUGS)))
Michelle Pixie says:
Ahhh After each baby my period got worse…The joys!! That was some quick thinking on your part!
.-= Michelle Pixie´s last blog ..Pop Goes The Weasel =-.
buffi says:
Okay, I think that was just PURE GENIUS! Good for you.
Donna says:
Oh I just hate to laugh at your misfortune but this is seriously funny! lol
Yo is Me says:
omg. i HATE that feeling! wow. glad you had a diaper on hand.
.-= Yo is Me´s last blog ..Rachel’s House =-.
Janet says:
Since this last baby of mine (now 2) I have had MONSTER periods from hell!! Like I used to have before kids all those years ago.
I started taking a B complete about 3-4months ago and they are WAY better!
.-= Janet´s last blog ..Calm and peaceful Saturday morning to ya =-.
Erin says:
Have I told you lately that I love you? ‘Cause I do.
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Gosh, I Kinda Like Taxes =-.
Lex - @laprimera says:
If I didn’t love you already, I fall for you right now for sharing that.
.-= Lex – @laprimera´s last blog ..Remembering Madeline Spohr =-.
Jennifer says:
OMG. That is an unbelievable story. It’s hilarious that Mike thought you were peeing in the store – in a diaper?!
That’s pretty ingenious.
So sorry your periods have been so bad. Hopefully, they’ll lighten up!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Signs, signs, everywhere signs… =-.
Jenny says:
I just LOLed and HARD. I’m not an LOL overuser, but Mike’s response made me almost pee! Are you peeing in the Adidas store? Hope you feel better!
samantha jo campen says:
I would have done the same damn thing. Honestly.
Glad you were able to prevent a trauma!
.-= samantha jo campen´s last blog ..Why we keep him =-.
Procrastamom says:
Ugh, judging by all of these comments us women are in good company when it comes to epic tampon fails. I haven’t had a baby in twelve years and I still have those whoppers. It’s why I wear an overnight maxi pad along with a tampon. I may have “diaper butt”, but at least I know I’m safe from an errant sneeze or cough…learned THAT the hard way!
Joie says:
FYI – You? You are awesome!!
Sam says:
That’s fricken hilarious!
Procrastamom says:
Oh and I was left wondering (and hoping they didn’t have one) about the store having cameras on you. Can you imagine what somebody reviewing that tape is thinking? “Is that woman stealing gym socks and stuffing them down her pants?”
Sorry I brought it up, but it was the first thing that popped into my head when you said Adidas Store.
amy says:
I am sorry, I had to laugh.. Mikes reaction was priceless but really, you probably shocked the heck out of him with your maneuver!
jfedds says:
LMAO
Heather@Triple Blessing says:
I’ve done the same thing The things we have to go through. Curses to EVE for eating that blasted apple in the garden of Eden.
.-= Heather@Triple Blessing´s last blog ..Melting =-.
Mary says:
Hystercial! At least you had the good fortune of having a diaper handy! Thank you, Annie!
Having never had children, I never was fortunate enough to have diapers handy. In retrospect, I think all women should carry an emergency-infant-diaper with them at all times!
Or they could do what I just did: hit 40 (almost) and have all those women parts permanently removed! I danced with joy (or would have if I wasn’t still recovering from the surgery) on the morning my calendar reminded me that my period was due that day…and realized I WOULD NEVER HAVE ANOTHER PERIOD AGAIN!!!!
Hope your flow & pain eases.
~M
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Talk about Comfortable =-.
Nanette says:
I have to break my emoticon ban for this one…
.-= Nanette´s last blog ..Em’s big break =-.
Amanda M. says:
That is traumatic! But kind of brilliant. I’m going to have to applaud your ingenuity here.
.-= Amanda M.´s last blog ..Planning a Trip to Japan: Part 1 & 2 =-.
Peggy Brister says:
Just reading that makes me so thankful I dont have aunt flo visit me anymore!
Yolanda says:
Heather –
Good afternoon. Only a woman can understand that story. One day you will think about yesterday and laugh out loud, not anytime soon though I am sure.
Jen C. says:
Been there, and wish I had had a diaper with me. Smart move!
Meg says:
I may need a diaper soon – I think I’m going to pee myself laughing! Excellent McGyvering!
Mindy says:
Heather, I have not actually laughed out loud in a LONG time, but that line…
“Mike saw what I was doing and said, “are you PEEING? In the ADIDAS STORE?!?!””
did it for me!! That was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Thanks for sharing! I have a 21 month old and a 4 month old colicky baby… sometimes I really need a laugh. I do however hope that never happens to you again!
Danny says:
That is SO funny!
Especially Mike’s comment.
Rachael says:
Oh my God. I can totally imagine it. At least you had something to rig up, because not having anything? So much worse.
.-= Rachael´s last blog ..35 Weeks: UGH =-.
JustAMom says:
And somewhere in Los Angeles, Adidas store employees frantically scramble to make sure last nights survalliance tapes have not been erased…….
Jen L. says:
Our first period stories are freakishly similar. Way to improvise with the diaper! Wish I’d thought of that a couple of years ago! Enjoy your heating pad.
.-= Jen L.´s last blog ..Comfort Food Saturday: Stuffed Shells =-.
casey says:
hey, desperate times call for desperate measures! i’ve done worse and have never even had a post-pregnancy period to deal with, lol.
Katie C. says:
After my miscarriage last year, the periods that followed were SO heavy that I often had fails like that. I would highly suggest only wearing pads for a while – as gross as they are – because the flow is just too much for even the super-est of tampons.
I know what you feel like, girl!
Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves says:
After my second c-section I bled like I’d never bled before. I totally had those huge gusher moments where I wore super max pads and tampons at the same time and still had to change every hour. It was ridiculous. Thank goodness you had a diaper with you! Good thinking
.-= Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves´s last blog ..An Unexpected Gift =-.
Rebecca says:
I love it that embarrassing things happen to beautiful women with adorable children. I thought things like that happened to me….who isn’t’ so beautiful, but does have adorable children.
.-= Rebecca´s last blog ..Nobody Asked Me, But…. =-.
mythoughtsonthat says:
OK, your husband made me laugh out loud.
.-= mythoughtsonthat´s last blog ..Guess The Joke’s On Me =-.
Meg says:
I applaud your McGyver (sp) instinct! I’m not sure I would have been quite so clever. Filing that one away for future desperate moments…
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Shedding the training wheels =-.
Mama Kalila says:
Oh no! I actually had a pad fail in high school and have never been so embarrassed in my life. Def not fun. Love your idea though
.-= Mama Kalila´s last blog ..One Size Cover? =-.
Meg says:
BTW, while we’re talking about it? The new “Ultra” size tampons that a couple of the manufacturers make have been a significant help to me during my times of need. However, all of a sudden I can’t find them on store shelves. So either you all discovered them before I did and you’re buying them out after they restock – or they’ve diverted them all away from the Mid-Atlantic. When I see them again I am buying a cartful.
.-= Meg´s last blog ..Shedding the training wheels =-.
QCMAMA says:
Heather. I am completely impressed with your umm….ingenuity? I would have never thought of that and since my csections I have had some tampon fails too. I usually double up with a pad too. And I would have never thought of a diaper.
So glad it didnt turn into an even more embarrasing moment for you and that you caught it and ‘stopped up the dam’ before it broke completely.
c.c. says:
oh wow. funny stuff. i’m kind of impressed that you did the diaper shoving on the sales floor. and mike’s reaction is hilarious.
.-= c.c.´s last blog ..hosrich in houston =-.
Christine says:
Like many have already said, I made the switch to a cup and I’ll never look back! I never have to empty it during the day or in the middle of the night. I also can’t feel it, and can wear it no matter how heavy/light my flow is. I don’t have to think twice about absorbency or TSS. It’s like a dream!
Alison says:
This made me laugh so hard! Oh, Mike’s reaction… classic.
Guys just don’t get it.
xoxo
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Missing Maddie =-.
Carrie says:
My periods post-2nd child have been insane too- I’m scared to even leave the house for fear of something like you just mentioned. But brilliant thinking on using the diaper in the emergency!
Jen says:
I thought I was the only one who had bad luck with periods. My hubby and I flew to Cancun. I had a major leakage ON the plane. Were talking through my jeans onto the seat on the plane. I didnt realize it was on the whole backside of my jeans until I got into the Cancun airport and went to the restroom. So…I walked off the plane with a hundred or so people behind me with blood all over my booty! Luckily I had my winter coat (I’m from MN) and I wrapped it around my waist until we got our luggage and then quickly changed in the airport bathroom. I could of just died!
LibraryGirl62 says:
Friend of mine shoved a rolled up pair of her husband’s used sweat socks down there-desperate times
Lindsay @ Just My Blog says:
Oh my goodness! I almost died laughing just now! My husband thought I was losing my mind so I explained it to him and he didn’t even bat an eyelash….Odd. Anyway, that was quite resourceful and very eloquently handled!
.-= Lindsay @ Just My Blog´s last blog ..Post-It Note Tuesday: Brain Fart Edition =-.
AmyA says:
I am laughing out loud right now! I love this story and the way you told it, you handled the situation perfectly! Thanks for the laugh tonight!
Catherine says:
OMG Heather! That is classic.. That was really quick thinking. I bet Mike was totally grossed out.. Men have no clue what we have to go through!!
Monique says:
Oh wow genius. i dont think i would of thought of using the diaper. i had a class at the court house one day and i put on khaki capri$ feeling pretty confident that that day wouldnt be a heavy flow day. a few cuties were in there and when i got up to strut out i realized i felt wet. sure enough i had a nice big stain on my a$$ and no jacket or long shirt to cover it. i kept my head high and walked as fast as i could to my car. i hate aunt f(ow.
MBKimmy says:
LOL … not at you but with you!
i have a similar story … but get this … it was on the soccer field at a HUGE tournament in college. I completly forgot the game was getting ready to start and my girls had to circle around me with shirts held inbetween of them … our male coach thought we were having a pep talk and started to walk over as I was yelling at him to GO AWAY … he almost benched me because he thought I was being a ass …
so sorry this happened to you … wonder why they are so bad for you … hoping it gets better!
.-= MBKimmy´s last blog ..Circus =-.
Alexandra :) says:
LOL Heather!
Tara says:
Oh. My. God. That was hilarious! I am so sorry that you experienced the epic tampon fail and I can totally relate but thank you for making me laugh. I definitely needed it tonight.
Alexandra says:
Oh my gosh!!
Desperate times, desperate measures.
He sure is 1000 times more understanding than my husband ever would have been.
NO wonder you married him.
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Dead Sea Whaaa? =-.
Sher says:
Ha hahahaha ha ha
That was a good one! Better than the time I walked out of my office with the back of my skirt stuck in my nylons…good thing I wore undies back then instead of a thong.
Tara says:
Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I laughed so hard though when Mike asked you if you were peeing in the Adidas store.
You poor thing. This is so NOT fair!
Tracey says:
Well, I am peeing at hubby’s comment!!! I love a woman who can improvise in a heartbeat, I”ve been there myself, well done! (and let’s hope it never happens again
p.s. You make beautiful babies.
Alicia @bethsix says:
You are AWESOME.
.-= Alicia @bethsix´s last blog ..A Scene From the House of Beths =-.
Allison says:
Why can’t you just admit that you didn’t have an extra tampon because you used it to snort your xanax?
Mr Lady says:
I peed in a size 5 diaper once, when I was 3 months pregnant. In front of my sister in law. The fail was epic.
.-= Mr Lady´s last blog ..It Should Be Against the Law For Your Child to Reach the Same Age as Your First Boyfriend. =-.
Koo & Poppet says:
Heather, believe it or not, I have also worn a diaper as a pad!
the first time i got my period back after my daughter was born, I was shopping in Vancouver. I went into a changeroom, to try on, what else, a pair of white pants. I didn’t realize what had happened until after I’d left the store (without buying the pants) and to this day, it remains a mystery whether or not I “soiled” them. mortifying all around. to make matters worse, I happened to be wearing leggings that day and it is hard to disguise a “pad-diaper” when you’re wearing leggings!
I have been a reader of yours for some time now. Your Annabel is so beautiful, and your Maddy, well, I just feel so much adoration for her. She has touched so many people with her infectious smile and her presence will always be felt, even by those who never met her. hugs to you xo
Vera says:
I’VE DONE THIS!! It was four days after my second baby was born and I was alone in the ER with her (she had stopped breathing and I refused to leave her side AT ALL, even for a minute to go to the bathroom even after she was okay) – I waited until a moment that no one was in her room and did this exact same thing. About half a second after I got done shoving the diaper in my pants, a resident walked in. You gotta do what you gotta do!
Jessie says:
You just had me laughing hysterically, calling my sister over to read your post. I am sure we can all sympathize — way to go on the diaper idea!
maya says:
Sadly, I can relate to this on so many levels.
.-= maya´s last blog ..Giggles Echo Through My Hallway =-.
Marti from Michigan says:
Heather – it might not be a bad idea to visit one of your doctors to find out if you may still have pieces of placenta in your uterus? Or perhaps you may need a D&C? It certainly can’t hurt to check.
Being nearly 59 years old now, and gone through menopause, my periods are done, THANK GOD!!!
evonne says:
Good thinkin’…I don’t think that I could have thought of something so awesome on the spot!
.-= evonne´s last blog ..wordless wednesday: we are all in desperate need of pedi’s =-.
Kate says:
HAHAHA I have been there sister!! I once had to change a tampon behind a bush, as well as in class during a lockdown (I was in college, at a womens school, and the only man in the room was the professor…AWKWARD. Luckily, everyone knew there wasn’t much I could do about it.
The diaper was GENIUS!
Mama Fuss says:
Don’t your kids’ diapers come in handy? Once upon a time I had a medical mishap in the form of messing my pants while at work and my only option was my 1-year-old’s diaper to get me through the rest of the morning. Awful, but I was so glad I had that darn diaper.
.-= Mama Fuss´s last blog ..MIL rant =-.
Ray says:
Who would of thought that a baby diaper could be such a lifesaver. Thank goodness for Annie, huh?! And so great that you’re quick on your feet. I hope that doesn’t happen again and that you’re feeling better now.
Take, care.
OperatorGirl says:
This happened to me too! 3 weeks after having my daughter via c-section – in the mall! Thank goodness I was wearing dark jeans that day. I felt a slight twinge and realized my gigantic maxi pad was suddenly going to overflow – and it did…. I waddled as fast as I could go back to the truck. Long story short, I ended up in the hospital that day and missed my friend’s wedding! I was monitored for blood loss. They told me my lady parts had let go of an entire period in about 30 seconds. Now that’s the way to do it!
.-= OperatorGirl´s last blog ..Spring has Sprung! =-.
MommyP says:
I’m breastfeeding 2 girls, and af showed back up at 3 months pp! Not only did she show up, but showed up with a vengance! I bleed so heavily for at least 36 hours–like 3 overnight pads. I actually went and bought the super ultra tampons and can use those for like an hour. It’s seriously crazy. I actually try to plan for not leaving the house when AF shows up now.
Always praying for you!
Marsha says:
That was funny and not so funny all at the same time! As for the bad cramps, I suffer through those as well and discovered those Thermacare Menstrual Cramp Patches. I don’t know how, but those things really do stay warm for 8 hours or more. Just stick them to the inside of your undes and you’ve got a portable heat pad! It was a godsend for me, especially when I am suffering at work!
Angelina Lucento says:
Excellent idea Heather! Super resourceful! I’ll have to remember it in case I’m ever in a similar situation…The others are right. It’s sooo fun to be a girl sometimes.
Anita says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I think since you shared it you recognize the value of the humor in that story.
(we’ve all been there at some point I think)
TracyKM says:
LOL!
At least babe is still in tiny diapers
Nel says:
Thanks for the laugh! I needed that today :o)
.-= Nel´s last blog .. =-.
Rhonda says:
OMG!! I feel for you! That was soooooo darn funny, though!! I’ve had to do toilet paper, paper towels, wash cloth (cuz forgot to stock up)! UGH!! I just realized I scheduled our Disney trip and I’ll be starting in the middle of it. I’m going to call Gyno and see if there’s anything she can give me to put it off…I love being a girl but, not during that time!! I friggin’ love your blog!
Two Makes Four says:
You may not have peed in the Addidas store, but I think I just peed my pants laughing.
.-= Two Makes Four´s last blog ..Eight Days A Wean =-.
Chelsea says:
Well that sure was some quick thinking! I don’t know if I would have thought of that. So glad I read this today and went back to your post about your first period. The reader comments on that made me laugh so hard I almost needed my own diaper!
.-= Chelsea´s last blog ..Life =-.
Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy says:
Desperate times call for resourceful measures!
.-= Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy´s last blog ..I Gave My Kid an Eyeful Yesterday =-.
Michelle says:
I had Mirena for 9 months after my daughter was born and I HAD to have it out. I was crazy! Angry all the time, bloated, plust I NEVER LOST ANY BABY weight! AND I had horrible horrible headaches. I had the mirena removed a month ago and I’ve since lost weight and no more headaches. OB said it was a sensitivity to the progesterone. Some of us ladies are just sensitive to ANY hormones added no matter how little it says it is. I would not recommend Mirena to anyone, ever!
.-= Kate´s last blog ..Memories =-.
Lucy says:
Hilarious! Good for you with the quick thinking. I don’t know that I would have thought of using a diaper. Although it makes perfect sense!
.-= Lucy´s last blog ..Things I Love Thursday: Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs =-.
Martin says:
Thanks for the laugh! I needed that today :o)
.-= Nel´s last blog .. =-.
Pamela @ 2 Much Testosterone says:
Oh my be-jeez-us! Greatest period story ever told girlie…
.-= Pamela @ 2 Much Testosterone´s last blog ..Post-It Note Tuesday – – Parenting a Teenager =-.
Al_Pal says:
*giggle* and OMG. You poor dear…Mike’s comment really “makes” the story! Oh, man…