My kids hate sleep. They fight going to sleep with every fiber of their being. My mom says it’s because they “don’t want to miss anything,” and that I was the same way. I am certainly not that way now, though. I think sleep is amazing and I would do it all day every day if I could. But not my kids, man. Don’t even suggest it within their earshot or you’ll be rewarded with one of them screeching, “I’M NOT TIRED!”
Annabel gave up regular naps at eighteen months, and I’ve been determined to not let that happen with James. I put him down at the same times every day, but lately the little stinker is like, “Oh hey, now’s the time I get to play around in this soft cage thing.” He just plays around. I’ve taken all the toys out, he doesn’t care. He’s got his hands to twist and his feet to chew on, and this week he discovered his crib mattress is bouncy. So he pulls to a stand and bounces in his crib for an hour while I stand on the other side of the door and shake my head.
Annie has quiet time for a couple of hours every day. This will eventually segue into “homework time” but she doesn’t need to know that now. My rules for quiet time are simple: pick a room, stay in it, be quiet. I think that’s one rule too many because it’s nearly impossible for her to follow all three rules at the same time. Do! Not! Ever! Suggest! that quiet time take place on her bed because “BEDS ARE FOR SLEEPING AND I DON’T NEEEEEEED TO SLEEP.” The funny thing about that is I don’t even want her to take a nap, because daytime sleep = worst bedtime ever.
James and Annie would both easily be night owls like me if I’d let them. I’m actually pretty sure Annie could come close to pulling an all-nighter in the right circumstances. Annie begs every night to “stay up with Mama,” (she knows Mike goes to sleep shortly after she does), but no dice. I always tell her that I’m not doing anything fun after she’s asleep: I’m working. “I can help you, Mom!” Last night I said, “How about I go to sleep, and you stay up and write these blurbs on Fuel Efficiency.” She readily agreed, but then realized she couldn’t spell or type. Dealbreaker.
The good news is that once my kids are finally asleep, they stay asleep. When Annie dropped all naps, she gave me thirteen to fourteen hour overnight stretches. GLORIOUS. I don’t want to jinx James but he’s been giving me some amazing stretches lately (*cough eight hours cough*), only waking because he wants a new diaper. The bad news is that these kids of mine hate waking up. HATE. IT. I physically have to drag Annabel out of bed for preschool (and this is after, at minimum, twelve hours of sleep). James is the same way. Also, without fail, James sleeps late on the mornings we have to get up early, and wakes early on the mornings we have nowhere to be. Basically Annie and James conspire to make sure we’re late to every morning appointment, or right on time to watch every minute of The Today Show.
I’m counting the days until that “teenager sleep” starts.
Kristen G. says:
My son was that way and hate to a buzz kill but he’s not a typical teen. Regular sleep cycle but nothing super long. At least at this age he can fend for himself in the weekend morning, etc
TamaraL says:
My daughter was just like Annie, and she too, gave up naps before she was 2. Now she is 17 and she LOVES to sleep. She also works, goes to college full-time, and has a social life…but if she’s home she has no problems going to be before 9:00! I am finally being rewarded…
Maria Keil says:
I did not nap as a baby/child but slept all night and to this day the minute my head hit the pillow I’m out. My mother will tell you that the reason she survived those years was that I slept all night!
Erin says:
I could have written this as well. My deepest, zombie-like condolences, and coffee cheers.
Jenni says:
Oh, this made me laugh! I was a non-napper, too, and it’s one of the things I’ve apologized to my Mom for as an adult. “I’m so sorry, Mom, that I was so terrible” lol. We had game where she’d convince me that my little sister couldn’t sleep unless I laid down with her, and that she’d come get me when my sister was asleep. She never did, but I think it gave her a half hour of sanity every day
Jen says:
I’m right there with ya!
Gina says:
I have three kids and have totally lucked out in the sleeping dept. Someone told me that I did not know what it was like to have a newborn because I was never up all night with any of them. My son who is now two will take a 3-4 hr nap on the weekend and with my other two being older means an awesome nap for this mama. I am with you I love to sleep and with working all week I feel that my weekend is not complete without a nap.
Jenny says:
I feel your pain! Our daughter is 7, and from birth she hasn’t so much fallen asleep as succumbed to its evil clutches against her will. I hope James and Annie cut you some slack today!
Lanie says:
Wish I could send you some sleep! I know I can’t so I am sending hope and hugs. xo
Mary Brock says:
My kids love naps, and still get to bed by 9 every night! However, they are exactly like James and Annie on the weekends. During the week its so hard for me to wake them, but on the weekends they’re up by 7. Driving me crazy!!!!
Kim says:
My sister and I both napped every single day almost until we began school at 5. Now at 39, I could still happily nap every day.
My kids? Not so much.
ldoo says:
The chart at the bottom of this page has been my lifeline! http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/02/wake-time.html
I realized my babies wouldn’t sleep because I was waiting too long to put them down for a nap. Or conversely as they got a few months older – I wasn’t adjusting their nap time to their new needs.
Heather says:
I love this chart! My pediatrician gave me a print out just like this, it’s sooo helpful!
Carrie says:
This is why I hate morning school dropoff with every bit of my being. My kids and I are not morning people and we’re all grouchy and constantly running late. No matter what systems I put into place and even with everything ready the night before. We just do not move quickly. I live for the weekends.
Jenn says:
Sometimes, I just come here to be reminded of all the joys and challenges of parenting…and yes, tweens-teen sleep can be just exactly the same as toddlers. It was amazing to see how much like toddlers tweens and teens are. Waking up a tween or teen vs waking up a toddler to five years old…can be such fun!
With two little boys that are not so little now, my heart and sympathy go out to you!
Jenn
Annalisa says:
You know, everyone who has teens I know never fails to point out how teens and toddlers are alike in many ways.
I know it’s more of a “don’t feel bad, we’re all in this together” sentiment, but sometimes I wish they’d keep it to themselves.
See, I’ve had enough screaming and drama from my 3 year old this week alone to last me a lifetime. The last thing I want people to point out is that I get 6 more years of that in a decade or so. =[
At this point, I’d rather be lied to and be told “it gets better”. Honest.
Mary says:
Actually, it depends on the teen. I was ready to put my daughter up for adoption at three. Worst age ever! As a teen, she was fun and funny and has since grown into a woman I’m super proud of. Don’t give up hope!
amanda79 says:
I haven’t visited in a while but your son is just gorgeous….of course Annable is to, gosh she’s getting big. I was just on a site for april fool jokes for kids and came across this ….you might like #18!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mikespohr/awesome-april-fools-day-pranks-your-kids-will-totally-fal?sub=3112897_2678265
Heather says:
Yes! Mike wrote that (he works there now)!
amanda79 says:
lol! Well that would explain why his name is in the link….didn’t notice that till now
Annalisa says:
I feel for you. My daughter (3) stopped napping at the same age and never does, unless she’s sick (last time, it was a stomach flu so bad I am still getting over it nearly two weeks later). She also woke up once a night with night terrors until 2 1\2. At which point, I developed hormonally related insomnia (yeah, I get pregnant, and rather than puke, I stop sleeping :(). My 7 month old just went back to nursing every 2 hours (d@#% baby teeth!) after a stretch of 4 hours nursing (bliss). He won’t even nap without a boob within arm’s range during the day.
Tl;dr: I haven’t slept more than 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep for over a year. I haven’t gotten a normal 8 hours since 2010.
Paula says:
There should be night school for kids that don’t want to be up during the day. I think we’d see less drop outs and I know of some educators *cough* me *cough* that would LOVE that schedule too!
Heather says:
That is a GENIUS idea!
Jess says:
I still like to sleep. I’m a night owl. Love my naps. The day I have kids I’ll probably cry, not really due to happiness (though I’ll be happy) but because there goes my beloved sleep!
Leslie says:
We had quiet time for A when he stopped napping. He thought of it as a negative thing because he had to stay in his room the entire time. He could choose what to do during his quiet time, but had to stay in his room. I kept trying to tell him that it was a good thing! He got to do whatever he wanted without being interrupted. Do you know what I would give if someone told me to go to my room and I wouldn’t be interrupted?!
Heather says:
PREACH!
Lissa says:
Well, I’m 32. I’m a complete night owl and have been for probably all my life, though only allowed to live as such since I was 16 and on my own. In fact, part of the reason that I quit high school at 15 was due to my hatred of being up at 6:30-7am and how HORRIBLE I felt for HOURS in the morning because it was so unnatural for my (admittedly wonky) timeclock. I now work the overnight shift at an emergency veterinary hospital (have since 2005) and I love it. I LOVE sleep and can easily sleep for 14+ hours. Or I can get 3 hours and function. I do not nap well and I do not wake easily/smoothly. But if I was forced to operate on a ‘normal’ daytime schedule, I’d probably die 20 years sooner.
Embrace whoever you children are born to be and help them find their path in life that works within that. It’s my only advice and one I know you already take instinctively.
Mary says:
Aaaah teenage sleeping. I’m in that heaven right now : )
Laura says:
Heather, have you guys heard of the book called Go the F*#k to Sleep? I was cracking up when my co-worker showed me a sample on Amazon just yesterday. As parents of young children we can all relate!
Megan says:
I could have written this. Every word. Except, my kids are often up once during the night too and I have a 3 week old so mama is getting no sleep right now.
Rachel says:
Heather,
I hope you won’t take this the wrong way – but I think you are complaining about nothing here: You are VERY lucky as it comes to your kids’ sleep!!! My firstborn started sleeping through at 18 months – and sleeping through means 8-9 hours max a night. He is now 4.5, and if we force him, he will sleep an additional hour tops during the day – for a total of only 9-10 hrs. Our 2.5 year old “just” started sleeping through now – and still often wakes up once after 5 hrs (which means I am often u for the day after that!). He sleeps for maybe 8-9 hours a night, with an additional 1.5 hour nap. So comparing your kids with mine – I’d say your kids love sleep, and you are very lucky in that regard!
Another Amy says:
I don’t know, sounds like your kids are doing the teen sleep thing already Mine like late nights and sleeping in much like yours now!