Madeline was my easy child. When she saw the baby gate, she stopped there. She didn’t do anything until she was certain she could do it well. She didn’t take risks.
Annabel is the opposite. She pushes gates until they give. She tries everything with full steam. And she changed her middle name to risk.
In a week, Annie mastered crawling and started pulling up on things and cruising.
She is really good at pulling herself up. She is…less good…at cruising. Which means lots of falls.
I am struggling with this. Do I follow her around with a pillow? Do I put a helmet on her head? Catch her before her bottom hits the ground? Or do I let her fall?
The other night Mike and I were both sitting on the floor with her, and even though we were only a few feet away, she managed to fall straight back and slammed her head. We got the silent cry for fifteen seconds (The longer the silence goes, the louder the scream will be. It’s basic math.) before the real crying began.
If I don’t follow her around, she will hit her head at least five or eight times a day. I think Maddie hit her head five times TOTAL.
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be this helicopter parent, but I don’t want her to get hurt. I want her to test her skills and get better. She doesn’t like it when I hover:
So do I wrap her in bubble wrap, or memorize the signs of a concussion?
InDueTime says:
I think, at her age, it’s completely normal to hoover around. I still find myself a little to clingy and A is 4. It’s hard to let go sometimes.
Ah, Annabel is growing up fast
Annie Y says:
We’ve managed t0 memorize the signs of concussion. We have a 2.5 year old that is into everything, climbs and jumps off of anything and we got unbelievably tired trying to protect him 24/7. He’s made it 2.5 years without a serious injury from any of it so I’m not to worried. Good luck!
Kate @ UpsideBackwards says:
Love the mischief on her face in the first pic! Umm, perhaps a crash helmet? Just kidding! I’m sure she will learn quickly, and I haven’t heard of a baby concussing themselves learning to cruise. Remember, she’s not really falling that far, since she’s close to the ground to start with. And she’s falling onto carpet, right? Not concrete. The cries are probably just as much shock and frustration as pain – and she’ll soon learn to sit down instead of falling back. Best of luck!
Lauren says:
It’s SUCH a complicated balance, right? I think all you can do is minimize the potential hazards and do your best from there. It’s realistic to supervise her consistently; it’s probably not realistic to have her within arm’s length at all times.
Does she do a Gymboree class or anything? Something where she can climb all she wants on padded material, so you don’t have to construct a padded room in your own home?
Jayne says:
We’ve been through the exact same thing with Edith, who is 26 months. I am a TOTAL helicopter parent, jumping at the slightest yelp or fall. My husband is determined that we should be laid back and don’t make a fuss if she falls. He even started doing what he calls ‘Bravery Training’, which involves taking all of the cushions off of the sofa and encouraging Edith to jump off of things onto them. The first time he did that, I stood there agog and paralysed with fear.
The thing is though, I was a fearless kid and I want Edith to be the same, so I think we do have to sit on our hands and let them have the (minor) falls. It’s the only way they learn.
Gemini-Girl says:
keep an eye out, but dont helicopter. Remember, I had two running in opposite directions. I couldnt keep my eyes on them all the time.
My pediatrician said, not to worry- and that baby heads are built to withstand injuries… so everytime Neve hit her head- which was AND IS a lot, I dont worry. Just watch out for puking or if she acts any different after a fall.
Sally says:
I’ll be interested to read the responses, as right now I am raising exactly the same child! My Angus and your Annie would be TROUBLE together! He’s just mastered crawling this week as well! The fun starts now it seems!
Heather says:
You just have to let her fall. It kills you, but falling happens on the road to walking.
As for signs of concussion, I think their heads are WAY harder than we give them credit for! Yesterday my youngest (she’ll be 3 next month) fell straight backwards out of a dining room chair to the floor… Not once, but TWICE in less than 5 minutes!
Katrina says:
Memorize the signs of concussion.
Remember, if you see a bump, that’s good.
A hard fall on the head with no bump? Umm..could be bad.
1) check for pupil dilation. A blown pupil (large pupil that will not shrink in direct light) is a sign of bleeding in the brain.
2) vomiting after a bump to the head? bad sign
I’m sure you already know this stuff…but just thought I’d mention it. Don’t do the helicopter-thing. It will only drive you and Annabel crazy. A fall from her own height shouldn’t have enough force to cause much damage. Just keep her off high places, if you can. (I know it’s hard with an active baby) A family in our town lost their toddler when she climbed up on a bar stool and fell onto the tile below. She hit her head and never woke up. So sad. But it can happen so easily when you have a climber. I’ve had a few climbers in my crew…and it’s not easy keeping them off things. I’ve been tempted to keep them in bike helmets all day long.
Lynn from For Love or Funny says:
I followed my babies until they were more sure on their feet; it sure is heartbreaking when they fall and hurt themselves… Annie looks so cute!
Audra says:
Wow, what is it about birth order and risk-taking? My two girls follow the SAME pattern as yours with the first being very wary and the second being a daredevil. We’ve baby-proofed to the extent that when she does fall there are no sharp edges where she could really hurt herself….but she has bumped her head. Somewhere along the way someone told me that babies heads are extra hard to compensate for all of the falling early on. Oh, and in case you haven’t discovered this fun fact yet, when a small child has a bump on their head, the bump can “shift” in the night while they are laying down, asleep, so that they surprise you with a black eye in the morning. Major freak out the first time that happened.
Veronika says:
As hard as it is, bumps and bruises are part of growing up. Since you have a gated area, you can always buy those foam mats just for that area so she’ll have a softer landing when she does fall. It’s no fun to watch them get hurt.
catherine lucas says:
I would not worry… They mostly fall on their bum, which is protected by a thick pamper in most cases, and since they are not that tall as yet, they don’t fall from high. I think it belongs to the natural way of how babies learn to walk and stand up… Present day moms worry way too much if you should ask me… Relax Heather, ;o))), she is one sturdy baby, give her a chance to explore and learn from her mistakes… As long as she is not bunji jumping from tables and window sills, she should be ok…
Have fun with the new Houdini!
Mijke says:
I say memorize those signs. And keep breathing…
We have twins, and helicoptering just wasn’t possible with both going in opposite directions. Added to all the falling over were several incidents involving wooden blocks hitting baby/toddler-skulls. Accidental as well as on purpose. Both of them are still here. And although they sometimes act a little silly, I honestly don’t think it’s because of all those bumps on the head.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for their little 7 month old brother though. He seems so vulnerable compared to the both of them (even though he’s already as big and heavy as they were when they were twice his age). What will happen when he starts crawling/cruising and grabbing their stuff (they are a bit overprotective of what they perceive as theirs)? I’m seriously considering sifting through their toys and removing everything heavier than a feather. They won’t be able to do much harm with a feather, right?
Elle says:
I suggest getting Annie a toddler size hamster ball to walk around in. I would buy one in a flash…if only they existed. It’s so terrifying to watch them fall and it always seems to happen in slow motion.
Back in June my little girl was walking around with her blankie and tripped. She slammed right into our entertainment center and I heard a crack. She cried for a little bit but I think I was more traumatized than her.
Just a few days ago an awful bruise developed right in the middle of her forehead and the hubs and I have no idea how she got it since she’s falling down so much and loves to run. I suggest investing in a lot of red wine and chocolate. If only we could wrap them in bubble wrap. But then they would probably just chew through it.
Lisa says:
I’d donate in a red wine and chocolate fund.
What everybody basically said, there isn’t much you can do besides hold your breath. And if she’s crying, distract, distract distract!
Lindy says:
My basic rule of thumb was, if it ain’t bleeding it’s OK. She’s wearing a diaper so that’s the bum padding sorted! As for head butting/slamming well a little kiss from Mama usually does the trick. I’ve always thought that they’ll never learn not to do something if they’re not given a chance to fail. Good luck!
edenland says:
Welcome to Boyworld.
You’ll get to know her limits, and what is going to be ok for her or not. Sounds like she is a curious little kitten!
Rocco jumps around like a maniac All. The. Time. Strangers gasp with shock while he jumps off brick fences or hurls himself into the pool …. while I stand there yawning. Pffft.
Heather says:
I have a dare devil 8 year old and a proceed with caution 7 year old.
Dare Devil scaled a baby gate, a door to the outside world, two deck gates and a pool safety rail so we could put her feet in the pool at Grandma’s (at 5 in the morning, while we slept) house. She was three. This isn’t even the scariest incident. Dare Devil earned her *very first* scraped knee this summer just walking to the park. She fell forward and scraped her ankles, both knees, her elbows, hands, chin, forehead from brow to hairline and fractured her nose. She has made it 8 years without serious injury, not even a significant toddler bump while learning to walk.
Proceed with Caution has had so many trips to the ER that we now have a backpack with markers, paper and chapter books, a change of pjs and emergency knitting (for me) in the closet, ready to go at any time. She has now had 2 concussions, completely passed out after a fall on 3 occasions and is constantly covered in bandaids.
I have no really good advice. Oh, except… babysitters should have CPR training with my children. No negotiations.
Mandi Bone says:
The saying around our house is– No blood No foul. I had a friend tell me once that the baby is only acting on my response. So I try to show no emotion when they fall. It kills me but I see how they take it first before I rush to help.
My oldest is part monkey. She has always climbed and jumped off everything. She is now almost 6 and in gymnastics where she is doing really great. So maybe she is going to be a gymnast.
Chantel says:
This is how we all learn our limits. The old “if it hurts, don’t do it” adage. I know it sucks to sit and watch but everything in her world is trial and error. Obviously no one would sit back and let her run into traffic or jump off the balcony, but the usual tumbles and spills are perfectly normal and essential to learning what her limits are. Just take a lot of deep breaths and keep the ice packs handy.
Jennifer says:
My second is like that. You can’t stop them. Babies like that give you grey hairs, but they are also a hysterical joy as they grow older.
You know, it’s also pretty straight up second child behavior, being the risk taker, and Annie knows she’s got a big sister who’s got her back.
statia says:
It’s definitely unnerving at best. I remember when my son was born, I was so anxiety ridden over everything. He crawled on the later end of average, and then proceeded to walk on the earlier end, which meant LOTS of falls. In the beginning, he actually DID have a helmet, for plagio, but people always assumed it was because I was uptight (and one guy actually asked me if he played hockey, and I had to look at him, because I wasn’t sure if he was kidding around, (he wasn’t). REALLY? A baby? Hockey? Not only that, but with a giant HOLE in his helmet?).
When he got the helmet off, his face remained permanently black and blue from all the falls. And he took some doozies.
My daughter crawled earlier, walked at a more appropriate time (thank god, they’re quick when they learn), but because she walked at 12 months instead of 10, she had gotten cruising down to a science, and was much steadier on her feet.
So yeah, I hogged the comment to say, while it’s easy to worry, let her go, and let her fall. The more she does it, the quicker she’ll get better at not doing it. Just as long as the sharp edges are covered and the room is baby proofed, she’ll be OK. And yes, it helps if someone knows the signs of concussion. My husband suffered many, so that was always his job. Haha.
Amy says:
I have a little daredevil, too. We hovered when she was near a hard surface, but otherwise found she began to catch herself after a couple of weeks. More importantly, when she fell, she’d start landing on her back (or front) and keep her head curled up from the floor. No helmet required!
She looks so vivacious in those pictures!
DefendUSA says:
The good news is that it won’t be for long…the bad news is that you should probably try and suck it up. I was not overly nervous about kids and falling. Of course, until the day before the first real family photo, when The kid just fell straight over and go the biggest goose egg and nose scrape you’ve ever seen…So much for a nice photo and *not * having a story to tell…
I play the upsy daisy game, not the ooh, come see mommy let me kiss the boo-boos game…I guess I am just mean!
amber skalicky says:
Thats what we do too, it seems raw to outsiders, but they dont freak out unless you freak out, so we get to be meanies together
Meghan says:
I agree with the others that have posted “learn the signs of concussion!” Our second is wide open…she is a complete whirlwind, and has, by far, suffered the most head injuries (none which required anything more than a quick trip to the ped). Its how they learn that falling hurts, and to be careful…while still relatively close to the ground.
To put in perspective how strong their little noggins are, heres a quick story. The same aforementioned child was at daycare one day and climbed up about four feet (yes, I know, horrible daycare! We moved her after this incident) onto some foam block things. Another little (bully!) two year old came and knocked her off…four feet down straight onto her head. The teacher said her back didnt even hit first, she literally landed on her head. I was SURE that she had internal bleeding and was FREAKING out trying to keep her awake on the way to the dr. Dr did all her little tests, and declared her totally fine! Either my kid has a really hard head, or they really are built to take a licking during these trial and error years.
Tamela says:
Both my boys were super active and curious. Peter only crawled for 2 weeks before he started walking. At 10 months. The boys each had permanent bruises on their foreheads for about 6 months or more. We used to joke that Peter was growing devil horns, he had a bruised bump on either side and as soon as one would go away…whomp! he’d fall again.
I think the best thing is to let them have some space and don’t helicopter, but don’t be too far either. It’s hard to give them room but they need to have the ability to explore, see what works for them and what doesn’t. It’s a delicate balance for sure.
Margaret says:
Memorize the signs and let her fall. If she’s really hurt she’ll let you know. If not, it’s just part of learning about gravity. We have a 16-month-old boy over here, and like the other posters said, welcome to life with a boy. Haha. It’s all a phase. After a few weeks they don’t fall quite so much… and then they start walking, and then a few weeks later they don’t fall quite so much again. She’ll be fine! Her center of gravity is very low to the ground, and babies are padded for falling.
Jenn says:
OOHH, I told, that little one is gonna be walkin’ before you know it!!! My daughter was also NO FEAR so what we did to avoid brain damage was get those inter-locking foam pieces and put them in her playroom and wherever she played. They were a cheap soluation plus they were all done in primary colours so they were bright. They were soft to fall on and they are risen a little so she can grip her little toes to the pieces. The best part…they are totally washable too. We got ours from Home Depo here.
I think any baby play class would be great for both you….she gets to play so much she will wear herself out and you get to have some adult time with some other moms. Just a thought.
Good luck and give that little dare devil from her Canadian Auntie! ha ha
J
Island Mom says:
Maddie and Annie sound a LOT like Island Boy and Island Girl. He was and is ever so cautious, a perfectionist in everything he tries. Won’t do it until he’s absolutely certain that he can do it right.
She, on the other hand, at 7 months (currently) tried, successfully, to stand up in the baby bathtub the other night. She promptly did a face plant over the back end of the tub.
I, too struggle with how much to let her “get away” with in terms of falling. I do hover, a lot (tile floors…). So far, face plant aside, no major injuries.
But….it also never hurts to remind oneself what the signs of concussion are.
AnnD says:
I don’t hover like I did with my first. I feel like I should though….he had his first CAT scan at 9 months old.
Mary says:
My eldest was a klutz from a young age. She could fall off of or out of anything. Even before she could walk. Apparently, to hear my mother tell it, she takes after me.
We had bumped heads, bloody mouths (she would fall and bust her top lip regularly after she started walking), and various other scrapes and bruises. Yet, she’s only been to the ER once (for a particularly bad tummy bug) and never had a broken bone.
Babies are made to handle the odd tumble, especially from standing height. I agree that you need to know the signs of a concussion, but don’t let your fear scare Annie. Like one of the other mothers on here, I would wait to see my kids’ reactions before I responded to a fall. Most of the time, they were fine. If they cried, I comforted them and sent them on their way.
Today, they are 19 and 17. They both drive (wanna talk fear?), work and are great kids.
You and Mike and Annie will be just fine.
carrieB says:
I agree with Mary, babies are built to withstand falling over. It’s part of their design, and falling is part of the learning process for them. And she’ll quickly get get steadier. My daughter started to WALK at nine and a half months. Never crawled, just stood up and walked. Trouble was, her satnav was not very well developed and she crashed into everything. Including a marble fireplace. I remember fearing the worst but she was fine minutes later (and now at university).
Concussion in babies is extremely rare. So watch her, but don’t drive yourself crazy with worry. Most babies go through this phase.
Deborah says:
I wish I had good advice for you, but I don’t! Whatever you do will be the right choice.
Ms. Moon says:
Don’t worry. Babies are made of rubber. Thank god.
Momma Uncensored says:
maybe change the middle name to “awesome”?
my 2.5y was that way.. still is.. she bruises and i too have the signs of brain trauma in my back catalog. i tried hard not to hover so my approach was to watch from a short distance and wait for the cry.. no cry.. no hover. though it was hard at times.
ms. awesome clearly loves life.
Halfadozen says:
We covered our harwood with those giant foam primary coloured puzzle pieces. You know, the ones from H0me Depot. Every square inch of my brand new beautiful gleaming hardwood was burried under the colourful rubber. My son still fell– a lot– and to this day (he is 4) STILL has a constant series of forehead bruises, but it helped. We kept it down till he was more than 2. Oh, and what a glorious day for me, when it came up. It was like getting brand new floors all over again.
Although bubble wrap works too. It never occured to me. I guess I am just not as creative as you
Liz says:
My older son was like Maddie – took his time, didn’t take risks. Number two is just a bit older than Annie and sounds just like her. I call him Danger Baby. I do my beat not to intervene for simple falls from standing. But he would also crawl right off the top of the stairs if we let him. And climb the while flight. And shut his fingers in drawers. And climb onto his swing (which we really need to put away) and launch himself off. It’s a balancing act, but you won’t scar her for life if you do a bit of hovering and it may just save you some grey hairs.
Lisa says:
My Maya is a little more like Maddie, not a big fan of risks. However, that being said we definitely had our fair share of falls and head bumps during the cruising and learning to walk stage. I tried to hover, but it was hard. I didn’t want her to get hurt. I eventually learned that the bumps are part of the learning process, helps them learn about balance and what they are capable of.
Liz says:
Heather–I feel like your kindred mom. My little girl Annelise was born just before Annabel so whatever you write about her on here, I can TOTALLY relate. (Sometimes we use Annie as a nickname too). I’ve just resigned myself to the let her fall down. She’s been crawling/cruising for a little while now so she’s much better than she used to be. I think the falling down stage doesn’t last too long. Hopefully everyone comes out with most of the brain cells intact!
amber skalicky says:
yep, thats Josaphina too! I seriously considered a helmet she mastered crawling at 6 months, followed two weeks later with pulling herself up… but hadnt mastered sitting on her own, i was FREAKIN out! But i watched her for two days straight literally “practicing” her dismount, she’d pull up, then look around, then let go and try to land on her bum, it only took two days and she had it 95% mastered, she occasionally gets knocked off track with another child or dog, but for the most part if we pick her up shes more mad, because she wants to “do it again”. She’s fiesty like her mother and i comend her for it. Annie sounds like she’s doing the same. Now when Josie is fully walking at 8months, i may not be so calm… bleck, i dont even wanna imagine, but way to go Annie for majior milestones, thats fantastic! Take a deep breath mom, and then give her a big horray, this sometimes calms Josie done :0) goodluck
Liz says:
lol, I have 2 boys… 3 and 2.
My husband and I have mastered the art of checking for signs of concussions.
When my youngest was 7 months old I felt on a slate walkway holding him. He hit his head HARD. He started drooling act couldn’t hold his head up. We jumped in am ambulance and by the time we got to the hospital he was 75% better. 30 minutes later he was smiling. The dr. thought we were nuts. Now he likes to climb onto our dining room table and he does a happy dance when he gets on top… I’m going prematurely grey.
Deb says:
Best advice I ever got was from a doctor ” Pretty hard for them to do real damage if they fall from their own height” So as long as she is not falling off of furniture or onto knives that happen to be pointing directly into her chest/eye she should be fine. I have a 16 month old who was born at 29 weeks like Maddie and has just started to walk/climb. He is also a daredevil, his forehead is constantly a pattern of black and blues but as long as I keep him onthe floor I’m happy.
Alyssa says:
I was just remembering my son during this phase the other day. The learning-to-walk-but-still-so-unsteady phase. It’s definitely the worst as a parent of a baby/toddler. I even wrote in a letter to my mom “I wish he would either walk, or not walk! This in-between thing is killing me!” Luckily, looking back on it now, it seems like it passed quickly. One minute I was pulling him away from our metal shelves every 3.2 seconds, the next he was stable enough that I could at least stop fearing concussions/stitches while he zoomed around getting into everything. So, my short answer is: hover for now, she will grow out of it quickly. And, BABY PROOF! I’m pretty sure my living room was a padded cell when the boy was that age. It’s never enough, but it helps.
Kristin says:
I’m just glad my youngest had the benefit of 2 brothers coming first or I would have gone crazy. He is my kamikaze child…climbing EVERYTHING, scaling his high chair at age 2 and jumping from the arms, flying leaps from the couch on one side of the living room to the other, and on and on and on. Good luck and try not to drive yourself crazy with hovering.
AT says:
Oh, I remember that age, and desperately hoping we could manage to go the week before his doctor’s appointment without getting any goose eggs on his head or bruises on his forehead. He then proceeded to whack the back of his head so hard that he got a goose egg that lasted through that appointment and was still there for the one three months later! (It’s gone now after another three months, thank God.) Baby’s heads (and bottoms) are designed for this.
Trisha Vargas says:
I would say a little of both. If she’s on a carpeted area, no sharp corners around, etc. you might let her play and see how she does on her own. If she is in a not so familiar place, no carpet, coffee tables, etc. you might hover a little just to be sure.
Even with the best hovering skills though, a accident can happen right under your nose. Dannica had just learned to walk and I was standing right there with her, and BAM on the tile floor. First goose egg on her forehead at 11 months old. I died a little inside with guilt as I was in arms reach and still didn’t stop her from getting hurt.
She has quite the large head and it has takin quite a few bumps and bruises with no concussion yet.
I understand your fears completely though
(((HUGS))) from Florida
Karen says:
Most babies kind of bend in the middle as they topple, landing more on the bottom than their heads. My eldest used to crawl up to the baby gate, stand up and then fall like a felled tree, stiff as a board and bang his head every time. He seemed not to grasp the concept of bending to land on his bum!
He was also the child who at 18mths climbed to the top of the climbing frame at the local park, with other mothers looking aghast – ”he’ll be fine” was my reply, and he was. He also used to sit on the top of his 6′ bookcase to look out of the window.
The one thing I learnt was that if I wasnt fretting, he wasnt worried or stressed and the less accidents he had.
Pre-empting the worst of the injuries is the best you can do, but children only learn through experience and some of those experiences hurt!
Rebecca says:
You don’t have to be a helicopter parent, you can join me in the wet blanket parent brigade!
Kristi says:
I’d say definitely find a balance between hovering and letting her test her boundaries.
After our pediatrician gave me the mandatory spiel about baby-proofing and babies/toddlers having no sense of danger “they’d walk off a cliff if you let them” I decided to let some of my paranoia go. Hover when there’s obvious, serious risk (stairs, beds, etc) or new territory and don’t hover when the risks are minimal like playing in baby-proofed spaces and familiar territory. Of course, I still supervise but I have to let her learn about her world and experience things.
I try not to get too alarmed when she does fall. So far, it’s worked. She’ll usually come over for a hug but we haven’t had very many crying situations.
Kristin says:
Sadly if she’s anything like my oldest it will be memorize signs of concussion. She hated when you hovered. If you got near her while she was trying to learn oh she would get angry. So I had to let her be free. She was nothing like me who fell once and didn’t get back up for 6 months LOL. And that is how her sister was as well. Hence my oldest is my Monkey cause her first word was Stuck and she climbed everything. Ahh Good times.
Jenni Williams says:
Memorize the signs. She will fall. She will be ok. I have three daredevils. Not sure you ever get used to it.
Mommy Boots says:
Nellie hasn’t reached the pulling up and cruising stage yet. She has had bumps and falls when (mom fail) I missed when she tumbled and I know exactly the scream you’re talking about. It breaks my heart.
We can’t follow them around forever… But when she topples and I can see she’s going to fall harmlessly on her butt, I still do that lunging “I’LL CATCH YOU” mommy thing. It’s like a reflex.
I guess bumps & bruises are a part of childhood but that doesn’t make it any easier to stop the lunging mom reflex.
Tara. says:
That’s a tough one. What I tried to do when mine were in that stage is to try to be close enough to catch them when they were setting themselves up for a BIG fall, a head cracker. It didn’t always work because sometimes a Mommy needs to pee or fix dinner. But I think for the most part, it’s better to let them learn the consequences of their actions, the laws of gravity. Soon enough, she will be more steady and them she’ll be on to bigger things like climbing on chairs and falling off beds.
Like a few have said above, just know the signs of a concussion and just do the best you can-that’s all you can do.
What a little monkey she is! I had (and he still is!) one like that. It’s stressful!
Julie says:
Styrofoam pool noodles. Cut a quarter wedge out, and you can secure them around the edges of tables, fireplaces, and other hard surfaces she tends to bonk her head against. Works like a charm!
Lamb says:
It’s so funny that you posted this today. Yesterday afternoon, I saw an ad for a baby helmet and my husband and I laughed so hard. Really though, it could be your little secret
http://babysfirstheadgear.com/
Kelly says:
Letting them fall makes them learn not to fall, if that makes sense. If she’s crusing like that and so unfazed, she’ll be an early walker! You better watch out Mama! My Mack walked at about 9 1/2 months, pretty much skipped crawling altogether.
LD says:
Kids fall– it’s bound to happen. Luckily, they have pretty hard heads and they recover fairly quickly. Just do your best to make sure that there isn’t anything sharp to whack her head into and let her go. She’ll get the hang of it.
Katie in WI says:
I’m kind of a “hoverer” until they sort of figure it out, or until I get more comfortable with it. I’M the one that needed the time to adjust to the new behavior, action, whatever. She seriously looks like she’s having so much fun!
Rachel says:
My second daughter is the same way. It is like all dangerous corners have their own gravitational force for her forehead. I ended up taping diapers to the corners of the furniture to pad them (because she is too smart for the baby corner protector things). I know if I hadn’t padded them, she would have sustained head trauma for sure. I witnessed some pretty hard falls, we are talking temporal area of the head straight into the home-made diaper pads. It would have been ugly.
I didn’t hover too much because my reflexes aren’t fast enough to catch her anyway. Babies are close enough to the ground that a simple fall shouldn’t cause too much damage. The corners though, just make sure those are covered with something.
Laurie SL says:
She is so adorable!!! Congratulations (maybe not?) on her accomplishments! If you’re concerned, then by all means, hover. But of course you can’t always be there when she pulls up or cruises, so maybe cover her play area with those “foam interlocking mat” (google those words and you’ll see what I’m talking about). That might help and it’ll give you some peace of mind while she plays. Yay!
Jennifer says:
Second daughter syndrome. I don’t know what it is. My first was like Madeline-cautious, barely ever fell. Her sister became fully mobile at 10 months, and never “walked”. The second those feet gripped floor she RAN, and fell, and fell, and fell. More goose eggs than I care to recall, two cuts that narrowly escaped stitches (they used super glue) before 2; she had 3 scars on her face before she started school. Granted, they are small and now barely noticable, but my Lord-she aged me. She is 8 1/2 now and extremely physical, and luckily, more coordinated.
We did try to be close by to help when she fell, but you can’t be there every time, unless you use the pack and play method. I was so ready for a crash helmet too. Maybe we should have?
No answers, just wanted to say, been there done that. It’s not just you!
Gale @ Ten Dollar Thoughts says:
When my son fell off our changing table at about 7 months we called the pediatrician’s exchange and we were told that the rule of thumb is “double their height.” If they fall from something that is double their height or higher, it’s a problem. Anything less can be addressed with careful parental observation and then taking them in based on other symptoms. As for the normal cruising falls, try not to make yourself sick about it. As long as she doesn’t hit anything sharp (corners, etc) I say it’s all part of the process. If I had a nickel for every time my son (almost 2 years) fell down I could pay off my mortgage. He’s tough, and so is Annie. I can just tell!
MJ says:
Don’t have a boy!! They don’t know what “caution” is!! My 2 1/2 year old ran full tilt into a metal pole, hit it hard enough to leave a dent in the skin and bruise immediately, and he just rubbed it, said “ow”, asked for a kiss from me, and was off again. Kids are tough.
I’m all for hovering a bit when you’re out and about, but when you’re at home, if she’s in a baby-proofed space, just let her go. She’ll be ok.
Only put the helmet on her if she’s going over to my in-laws’ house, but that won’t be an issue, lol.
Jemma says:
I worried about my daughter too when she first started to stand and then walk. It’s SCARY! But, I talked to my friend who’s an er doctor and he said kids are pretty bounce -able. So, when my daughter falls now, I take a deep breath, make sure she’s ok and realize this is gonna happen. Good Luck!!!
Robyn says:
My 2 year old daughter came out completely fearless. I definitely memorized the signs on concussion and have had a couple of trips to casualty (AE) and spent many a nap time anxiously listening for ‘shallow rapid breathing’ (she always tanked out after a big bang). I used to work as a kids climbing instructor, and based on that I reasoned that if she didn’t learn about danger and heights when she could only really get a few feet of the ground, her she might well learn about it from something a lot higher when she was older and not supervised. With all that experience, before she was a year old she would make a sign for banging her head in she was asked her ‘what will happen if you fall down there?’, and would take a little more care if only briefly. Thats not to say she doesn’t sometimes up her game. A couple of weeks ago (2 days before our wedding) she decided to take on the stairs (17 of them) wedged into a wastepaper basket, with a crew of toy elephants. Amazingly she was fine, it was me who was in pieces. But she is now a little more careful on the stairs…
Now I know what my mother went through
Olivia says:
Children are built to fall. Most of the time children play off of the parents’ reactions. If you gasp and run to her rescue, she’s going to cry. But if you act like it’s no big deal, she’ll get up and keep on going like nothing happened.
She’ll be okay. She’ll get the hang of the cruising. In a few years (yes, I said years) she’ll stop turfing it so frequently.
Jolene says:
I used to be the easy going “what will be will be” parent. Then Nataly had an accident. Now, I am a helicopter parent. I am ok with that. My neighbor kids with me if they see her outside without a helmet. They know me. They saw what happened to her. I don’t know that I will always be this over protective, but I do know that sometime when she is older I wont be able to protect her. I CAN protect her now. And By golly I am going to do my damndest. Good Luck Heather. I say you have to be who you are as parent and do whatever feels right to you at that time.
Karen says:
Mobile baby, here we go!!!
Sometimes I think my vigilance when watching others’ kids (either via babysitting, or as a homecare nurse for special needs) might be more worrisome than a parents because- letting someone else’s kid get hurt on my watch? Uh-uh!
I can definitely imagine doing just what you are doing-
hovering to prevent injuries but when bumps and falls happen, as they will because those little ones are FAST!, not moving right in to comfort unless the hurt is real.
Jean says:
I called it part of the hunchback years because I followed mine around and was always hunched over, picking them up and redirecting. I never considered that falling under helicopter parenting, especially considering the time my oldest smashed his head open when he fell against the coffee table. My kids are big now and there were only playpens when they were little, but now they have the 8 panel play yard things that are very nice. http://www.amazon.com/Awesome-Playpen-Panel-Center-Safety/dp/B002V87MJQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1287420607&sr=8-3 My friend has one for her grandchild and it’s a lot nicer than a playpen. I wish they had these when my kids were little.
Jodie Brooks says:
Sounds like Annie has second child syndrome! My first, I believe, is an old soul. Nothing impressed him as a baby and he knew when not to do things. My daughter, second child, got into and continues to get into EVERYTHING!! Very curious and never knows when to quit! I would say you need to memorize the signs of a concussion. You can’t be around all the time; they have to learn how to fall, even if that means falling right!! Hang in there!
Ashley says:
I think until the end of time we will worry about our kids and wonder if bubble wrap or a padded room is a better solution. I am a klutz, if they gave degrees in random accidents I’d have about 15, so it was natural I’d give birth to two mini klutzs (my nickname as a child was Magoo as in Mr. Magoo).
Over the past few years I’ve come to the conclusion that you catch them when you can, let them fall when you have to and grab two tissues when they cry – one for them and one for you.
Kenna says:
Well, my youngest was 6mos when we moved to this house with gorgeous stained concrete floors. He learned to crawl, cruise, and walk on them same concrete floors. For a while there, I was starting to think the purple goose egg on his forehead was a permanent fixture, but it did (eventually) go away.
And he’s fine now. Just turned five. Only slightly insane. Laughs like a maniac and pesters his sisters “Because that’s MY JOB, Mom!”, but I’m chalking that up more to genetics over head-smashing!
Try not to worry TOO much…. and just FYI, some very good info I was given about big purple goose eggs? The bruise can often drain down the face, giving the child black eyes/bridge of nose a week or more after the actual injury!! I was pretty happy the ped warned me about that BEFORE I got to witness it (several times…. but who is counting!)!!
Marisa says:
I would try to recognize the signs if a concussion.
Personally, when my twins were starting to move more and the dell I would tell them, “Uh oh, Boom on your butt”. And they got up again and laughed. Now they do it pb purpose and if I tell the, “Go boom” they make them selves fall down on their butts. Sometimes I think they make it a game to see who cann “boom” harder.
Good Luck.
Melissa says:
My first child is exactly like Annabel. I call her clumsy, which is alright because she gets it from me. She ALWAYS hit her head when she fell…it didn’t matter if 99% of kids fell on their bottoms for the same fall, she would somehow always hit her head. I have spent many nights up worrying about a concussion, checking her pupils, waking her up in the middle of the night…and yes, I took her to the ER several times. She never did get a concussion but I think she’s lucky.
Still, if I had to do it all over again, I would have gotten her a helmet from her cruising until about two. They have these rubber ones that are lightweight and look more like hats. I think my worrying about her falling added more lines on my face than ever before!
My second born is just now walking and it’s totally different. He is much more graceful, falls better…at least so far. Knock on wood!
Elizabeth says:
Memorize the signs of a concussion! My second child, Madeleine, is exactly the same way! She’s 16 months old and she is so much more of a daredevil than her big sister. We didn’t even have gates up for the older girl, she would just wait at the top of the stairs for one of us to help her down. Well, things are different with Madeleine. We have an old house with a terrifying banister at the top of the steps. She could easily slip through and fall a full flight of stairs. So, my husband put up plexiglass to keep her safe. Madeleine walked right up to the plexiglass (at 15 months old) and ripped it in half. I told my husband he’s got his hockey player.
Good luck and if you figure out what to do, tell me!
Mary says:
hi
my pediatrician told me it is very hard for them to hurt their heads when they are so small (and short) the fall is not as far . .
so that was my theory. .although I have to say there were many times I worried about Liam. . he has a really big heavy and we have hard wood and when he would sound scary.
good luck heather!
Alison says:
Baby brains are pretty darn resilient! The plasticity seen in infancy and childhood is amazing. The types of injuries a fearless baby’s noggin would incur generally do nothing more than pause her for a few minutes until she’s up doing the next pain-in-your-butt thing. That being said, if the injury is severe, she throws up, acts funny, or generally seems “off” after a mishap, then call her doc and take her in to the ER.
Also, remind Annabel that just because her post tag has “Amazing” in it, she should refrain from any any superhero-esque or circus-worthy hijinks.
jessie says:
who was it that said “let them pull the tv down on themselves a few times, it’ll learn em.”
Sara says:
We laugh at our kid when she falls. Then she thinks its funny and not painful. The only time this did not happen was when she fell off of an ottoman and onto the corner of the entertainment center and split the back of her head open. Then we kind of freaked out. But regular, learning to walk falls we just laughed at.
Elizabeth says:
My strategy is to remove everything of imminent and bad danger. Then, I let them roam free. I am aware of where they are and what they are doing but I try to stay back. Obviously, this does mean some falls. My theory is that they learn immediately that something is bad if they get hurt doing it. I also think they learn some independence in how to do those dangerous things.
As an aside, I consider it my job to teach them how to climb ladders, climb up and down stairs, etc. I don’t really believe that they are safe unless they can accomplish these things alone. We can’t be watching every second.
Dora says:
I vote for bubble wrap, but damn it, Child Protective Services frowns on it.
I feel your anxiety. My stomach has been in knots reading the comments! My girl just cruised for the first time yesterday. ACK!
eva says:
Bubble wrap lol good idea it would serve to protect against anything else she gets into too haha
my daughter is 9 months now and walking .. ughhh lol she started at 8 months – can not believe it! Anyway she bumped her head LOTS of times – i hate to admit but it happens.. as long as there are no pointy objects she will be safe.. and just try to catch her when you can love your dare-devil- i have a feeling our little devils would get right along
Jess L. says:
Baby heads really are designed to fall from baby heights without serious injury. Scientific fact. And anecdotally, DD was a 5x a day head banger, and at almost 3, she’s the smartest kid I know. The only quasi-serious injury was the time she careened into a ditch filled with cactuses, and that was really not a height issue. Fun times. I’ll send you pics, if you want.
Now, though, DD is getting to be a fantastic climber (much to my horror) and that makes me want to follow her around with catcher’s mitts.
Megan says:
I had one like that, too. She is now 10 and I no longer feel the need to strap a football helmet to her head. We actually really considered it for a while – til she was almost 2, in fact. She was BUSY, and always hit her head, never missed a chance to get a good goose egg going! But, we never did strap on the helmet, and I am the opposite of a helicopter parent (though hubby DEFINES the term!), but she lived and is now a rather laid back 10 year old whose favorite activity is reading – plus, she was a devil at 2, and she is now about as sweet as they come. Yes, we have checked the basement for pods, repeatedly.
Just, remember it doesn’t last forever, put in place whatever you can to protect her, such as pads for any fireplace hearth, and any truly sharp edges. Once you have done what you can to make things safe and cushy, let her explore! She’ll be just fine!
Rumour Miller says:
My second born is a daredevil too! She fears nothing and I fear it all for her.
No big injuries here, thank goodness, but sometimes I still hover.
Marsha says:
Well she has to learn but she has to be safe. I would suggest since she is an early learner she could very well hurt herself soooo learn the signs of a concussion just in case lol. They make these really cute baby helmets you could look into one of those, they are light weight and protective. Just at thought.
Jessica says:
You can’t be there for every bump and fall. More likely (as with our daughters) those are screams of frustration. lol Learn the actual hurt cry from the omg I’m soooo angry cry. When our girls get hurt we comfort. If they’re frustrated we tell them to shake it off. Or distract. The girls giggle when they see mommy “shaking” it off. Distraction ftw!
Amanda M. says:
Meh, just make sure all the corners and edges and other hard parts of the room are padded and she’ll be fine.
Jen says:
She’s on her way to mastering gravity. It’s nerve-busting, but she’s figuring it all out. Have faith in your gut tell you when to hover and when to step back and watch the magic. You aren’t going to let her down. You aren’t going to fail her. She can fall a hundred times and each time you’ll be right there to remind her that surfaces and agility are often unforgiving or unpredictable, but your love for her is forever.
Tricia says:
So when my kid fell at that age, we just started clapping and whooping it up like a bunch of jerk-offs (only if we were sure he wasn’t seriously injured). Our reaction kinda shocked him out of his crank up to hysterics, and eventually he’d start laughing hilariously with us. So now, at 4, he still laughs when he falls, hits the wall, trips, etc. It worked quite well for us. He’s only actually hurt himself once, and it wasn’t even THAT bad (stitches, but he’s a boy so I assume he’ll get more of those plus some broken arms and digits). But I do know exactly how you feel; it’s totally nerve-wracking watching your kid hit his face on the floor…or walk/fall directly into the corner of a wall. You don’t have to hover, but you know what? Heather, if you want to hover, DO IT! You’re an awesome mama and hovering won’t do her any harm. I say if it makes you feel better, do it. Obviously, Annie’s gonna be a daredevil regardless, right?? She’s going to be the strongest, coolest, most confident little lady in preschool, man! Not to mention she’s already a movie star….
Kate says:
Oh no, please don’t be the crazy woman who gets her child a helmet. One of my co-workers did that and it was the most horrifying thing I’d ever seen. Seriously, I think women who do that to their children (or men, but it’s usually woman, let’s be honest) should be locked up in a padded room of their own. Unless the kid has a legitimate problem with their skull that makes it too soft or something, just — no.
All that knee-jerk reaction said, don’t helicopter. Babies are meant to fall, and the more you are hovering now, the more she’ll expect it when she gets older. My mom was a total helicopter parent with my brother (he was the baby, you know, and therefore got aaaaall the attention, not that I’m bitter) and he became the biggest crybaby imaginable. He had three ER trips in six months for otherwise unimportant injuries when he was about two-and-a-half because he fell and just screamed and screamed. Each time, there was nothing wrong, but my mother had spent so much of her energy babying him that he played it up every chance he got.
(One of the times, I was holding him and letting his feet dangle while we were in the front yard on the grass, and I dropped him less than a foot because I saw my bus coming. My mother absolutely FLIPPED OUT. And we wonder why he didn’t cut his own meat until he was 12?)
Kids get hurt. They fall off things and bump their heads. Just make sure that you attend to any bleeding and I think she’ll be fine. Besides, unless you plan on following her around when she’s six and playing on the playground at recess, she has to learn to dust herself off eventually.
Laney says:
I love this because it so reminds me of myself and my sister. I was, like Maddie, firstborn and easily contained. If my parents set boundaries, who was I to question them?
My sister, on the other hand, was hang-jumping out of her crib before she turned one.
Also, Annie’s facial expressions! This kid. She’s just too much.
Joanne says:
They’re designed to fall from their own height, so as long as she isn’t crawling up on stuff (like all three of my own LOON kids would do) she should be fine! She is gorgeous!
Jill says:
Babies are designed to withstand falls. Their skulls have sliding plates that haven’t yet fused shut that act like shock absorbers. Don’t hover over her. That will make her timid and fearful. Life is to be lived and crashed into, sometimes headfirst.
All of my three fell down a lot, sometimes on their heads. It didn’t do any lasting damage; the two oldest are in Ivy League colleges and the youngest is president of her high school class.
What you should be concerned about is her getting her hands on small items and aspirating them. One of my friends’ toddlers had a close call with a broken balloon. I have no idea why seemingly intelligent people think balloons are good playthings for a baby.
Liz says:
As my baby-doctor mama says, “that’s why kids are built low to the ground!”
Kiss her and support her learning process, but she needs to learn the limits and abilities of her own body, too. It’s hard. But she’ll be great!
Nicole says:
I know exactly what you mean. My two boys are the exact opposites. My first born was like Maddie and never got into anything, I didn’t even have to baby proof at all. Then my second son came along and hold cow I had to baby proof everything! And now I have a daughter who is getting ready to crawl and I am secretly hoping she holds out a little longer!
Jenny says:
I am several years behind on scrapbooking pictures. Isn’t everyone? I noticed when I was updating his pictures that he almost always has a bruise or small knot on the left side of his forehead, usually a lovely shade of green or purple. I don’t remember him falling that much but I guess that he really did!
I love that mischievous grin!
Heather says:
Another meanie here. My son is cautious but developmentally delayed and fearful. We’ve watched him tumble down stairs, but have to modulate our reactions so he’s not more fearful. With my go-get-em daughter, she’s taken a dozen headers off the sofa and she’s fine. Most of the time my kids cry for less than a minute, I offer my sympathy, and ask, “Are you hurt or mostly scared?”. Usually they say scared and are over it very quickly.
Lisa says:
WRAP HER!!! I have been considering this with my son, Emmett. This weekend he was just crawling around…laughing hysterically because he thought we forgot about him and didn’t notice him trying to leave the room. Well my husband turned him around and the next thing you hear is” Thump” and then silent cry and then there was blood…at his top teeth and crying, so sad. I dind’t like it one bit. He is on lockdown in only his room. Damn it. Why did we not put a TV in there…it gets old looking at those walls of “Spanish White” with hints of “Apple Martini Green”. Its making me nuts.
BUBBLE WRAP CENTRAL!!!
Erin Nelson says:
I read many blogs and I came across yours a few weeks ago and have spent lots of time catching up from the beginning. I cried when Maddie was born with such hopeless odds, rejoiced when she made it through, I sobbed when you and Mike loss her and I sob again and again while you mourn. I know that I don’t know you, but I just want to tell you how angry I was at the negative comments left for you. You are doing the best you know how and it is amazing that anyone would criticize. I have not lost a child (or a parent or a sibling) but I have known the loss of a dream. I know PTSD and how completely that can control you. I am not living the life I wanted but I draw strength that I have made it this far. I hope you do too since the only thing you can do sometimes is to continue on in life. When you don’t post of Maddie for a while I hope it isn’t because of the negative comments. Obviously I know it isn’t because you aren’t thinking of her. Annie is so adorable and you are a wonderful mother to both your girls. I am a mother as well and I try to be the best mother I can through the pain of my life. Keep up the good work and know that your family is in my thoughts
thurieyyah says:
Let her fall…its all part of growing up (not something that you want to hear I bet) But remember she’s just beginning on her journey to walking and cruising is where it all starts (as well as the falling over) – she’ll get better at it- I PROMISE!
Kathryn says:
First knee and elbow pads, then bubble wrap, then shove her in one of those quilted snow suits to hold everything in (and provide more padding) and then stick a helmet on her head! Or maybe not…it would be a funny site though!
I think kids are tougher than people give them credit for!! They learn pretty quick what not to do that will hurt them.
Don’t be a helicopter Mom!!! One of my co-workers is…her kid is 11!! I feel so bad for him!
Noelle says:
When my daughter first learned to walk she toddled right into the door jamb and a goose egg the size of my fist swelled up in the two seconds it took me to reach her (and I was right behind her as she fell!). We took her to the ER and they were so casual about it. They said they see the same injury every single day and kid’s heads are tougher than we think. Phew.
Good luck, Heather! One look at that cute little mischevious face in the first picture and something tells me you will need it ! But in a good way
Becki says:
My 20 month old just rolled down a flight of stairs and crashed into the tile. She ended up with a huge walnut on her head, cried for a few minutes, and lived to tell the tale.
We didn’t put the baby gate back up, either. I have three kids, so I gave up hovering a long time ago.
Mary says:
Considering I just walked into a door jamb yesterday and I’m 42, I think if you committed to following her around, you would be very VERY tired!
I try to think of it as risk with boundaries. Yes, Hadley can possibly hurt herself by falling, but I try not to have anything she could fall on that will really hurt. I also think babies/toddlers are kind of made to fall down. The padded bottoms, being close to the ground, etc.
I love that first pic, too. She is TOTALLY going to make you guys crazy!!
Expat Mom says:
My boys bonked their poor heads SO many times . . . and the floors here are all tile, so they were nasty bumps. And, since we were building at the time and basically had two rooms with concrete block steps, BOTH kids fell out at one point when they were crawling and got identical scars on their foreheads. I was literally two feet away and didn’t grab either of them in time (this happened one year apart). Of course, my second born is also a daredevil, so he just kept trying to crawl out the door and fell out about four more times before he realized he could turn around and go down bum first.
Wallydraigle says:
My older daughter is the most timid child in the world. She is afraid of EVERYTHING. She still has to crawl over the threshold into our house.
My second daughter was crawling just before her six month birthday. She started pulling herself up a couple weeks later, and she’s been cruising and attempting to stand on her own for a little bit now. Girl fell all.the.time. It was a whole new world for me.
I hated to see her cry, but I figured she’s got to learn somehow, and babies are basically made to fall over. Their heads are like rubber, and their short memories ensure that the repeated falls won’t traumatize them.
It took her a couple of weeks, but one day she suddenly stopped falling over all the time, stopped getting herself stuck under chairs, stopped screeching every three seconds. I think following her around, keeping her from falling, would only have prolonged the tortuous learning process. It sucks in the meantime, though. Boy do I know it.
Cecilia says:
My beautiful amazing running 22 month old had a stroke when she was born and has a weak left side. She was so determined to cruise and get around but fell all the time. She didn’t just fall either she spun in a circle and would fall hard. We worked really hard with her therapist to teach her to fall. We used a big exercise ball and have her fly on top of it and stick her hands out. But, our pediatrician and both her PT and OT told us not to worry about fall. Babies fall and their skulls are made for it. So simply after all that don’t worry they are designed to fall.
Shalini says:
As a non-mom (but someone who desires children very much) I cringed and completely empathized with your pain. That silent cry is just heartbreaking! It was torture experiencing it as a child (hated it because you couldn’t breath during it and I couldn’t control it. Part of my tears came from relief, I hated silent crying as a child and remember actually getting frustrated when it would last too long.
I actually thought a helmet would be a great idea until it occurred to me that Annabel wouldn’t learn from her experiences if she wore one. Not to mention shed be scarred from the horrendous fashion faux pas!
I also wanted to acknowledge the scret struggle of having a more spirited child after experiencing a relatively calm one. Most moms have guilt feeling favoritism over the experiences with one baby over another, but who would prefer a less challenging experience? I imagine it’s only complicated in s very painful way because dear Maddie is gone. You don’t want it to come across as if you like Maddie better than Annabel, although that’s not how it comes across, it might be how it feels. It’s false logic, but we’re human and complicated. Especially in grief.
I will say that I admire people like Annabel who are born with that natural risk taking streak. It will serve her so well in the world once she gets older! I was a timid child and still am cautious about risks; I have to push myself a little bit harder to do things others do without thought.
Jenny says:
I just saw this on TV. It is the perfect solution to your problem:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/10/22/we-live-in-the-future-introducing-invisible-bike-helmet/
It won’t be lond before you really can put your baby in a bubble.