You guys! I’m not going to tell you I’m pregnant with some awkward cliffhanger! This isn’t an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t even end up taking that pregnancy test because, ironically, when I got home I had a very clear sign that it would come back negative. I endured that tantrum for naught. But the memories, oh they will last a lifetime.
Anyway. Mike and I are in a fight. Well, not a fight so much as a disagreement. And it’s not just Mike, it’s me versus my entire family. I want Annie to get a haircut, and they are all aghast! and! against! it!
Stop freaking out and let me explain. First, look at this hair:
It’s SO hard to manage. She wakes up every single morning with a rats’ nest in the back, like a tiny Amy Winehouse. Brushing it is hard because it is rough on her hair. Plus, no matter how much detangler I use, or which special brush/comb I try, it still takes ten minutes to get the knots out. Every morning. And frankly, she doesn’t want to let me brush her hair for ten minutes, even though I am gentle and I sing the hair brushing song from Tangled like a boss.
Second, her hair is uneven. This bothers me in an irrational way.
Third, it’s not really healthy on the ends. I know once she gets a cut, her hair will be bouncier and yadda yadda.
Fourth, I am the one who brushes her hair 99% of the time. A haircut that sliced off her frayed ends would make knots easier to remove, resulting in a more pleasant brushing experience for Annie, and also for ME, the one who practically has to sit on her to get the knots out.
I am proposing a very reasonable trim of maybe an inch. It will leave her hair long and allow her to flip it around (her latest obsession) and will allow me to do fun braids in it when she requests them.
The rest of my family, led most aggressively by Mike and my mom, think my reasonable pitch for a one-inch cut is barbaric. Mike wants her hair to be as long as possible. My mom and Mike are also convinced that her curls will disappear, leaving her with straight hair. Apparently straight hair is UNDESIRABLE and I should just go get a perm or something. They think two-and-a-half is too young for her to get a haircut – never mind that she is growing hair like a grown up. They are also afraid the professional hair stylist will “mess up” and leave Annie’s hair looking ugly.
So. Yeah. I decided to ask the girl herself.
Me: Annie, do you want to get your hair cut, like Mama?
Annie: Yeah!! And Rapunzel!
But then Mike had to interject.
Mike: But Annie! When Rapunzel’s hair was cut, she lost all her magic. Do you want to lose your magic?
Annie: NO! NO HAIRCUT!
That’s just dirty.
So please tell my family that Annie is not too young for a haircut, it will not be ugly, and she will not lose her magical powers. OR, remind them that they can take over the job of brushing her hair every morning. She only hates you for an hour after.
EDITED TO ADD:
Because these things have come up over and over in the comments: She refuses to sleep in a braid, I’ve tried that. I use Ouidad shampoo and conditioner in her hair, which is designed for curls – and I use the adult kind, not the kid formula. I never brush her hair when it’s dry, but I don’t wash it every day because her scalp gets dry and itchy. But not brushing her hair is NOT an option, so I thoroughly wet it with Ouidad curl refresher. Oh and “brushing” is really just the term I’m using, I use a wide-tooth comb to detangle 99% of the time.
Also, bobs are cute but I am definitely NOT giving Annie one.