You guys! I’m not going to tell you I’m pregnant with some awkward cliffhanger! This isn’t an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I didn’t even end up taking that pregnancy test because, ironically, when I got home I had a very clear sign that it would come back negative. I endured that tantrum for naught. But the memories, oh they will last a lifetime.
Anyway. Mike and I are in a fight. Well, not a fight so much as a disagreement. And it’s not just Mike, it’s me versus my entire family. I want Annie to get a haircut, and they are all aghast! and! against! it!
Stop freaking out and let me explain. First, look at this hair:
It’s SO hard to manage. She wakes up every single morning with a rats’ nest in the back, like a tiny Amy Winehouse. Brushing it is hard because it is rough on her hair. Plus, no matter how much detangler I use, or which special brush/comb I try, it still takes ten minutes to get the knots out. Every morning. And frankly, she doesn’t want to let me brush her hair for ten minutes, even though I am gentle and I sing the hair brushing song from Tangled like a boss.
Second, her hair is uneven. This bothers me in an irrational way.
Third, it’s not really healthy on the ends. I know once she gets a cut, her hair will be bouncier and yadda yadda.
Fourth, I am the one who brushes her hair 99% of the time. A haircut that sliced off her frayed ends would make knots easier to remove, resulting in a more pleasant brushing experience for Annie, and also for ME, the one who practically has to sit on her to get the knots out.
I am proposing a very reasonable trim of maybe an inch. It will leave her hair long and allow her to flip it around (her latest obsession) and will allow me to do fun braids in it when she requests them.
The rest of my family, led most aggressively by Mike and my mom, think my reasonable pitch for a one-inch cut is barbaric. Mike wants her hair to be as long as possible. My mom and Mike are also convinced that her curls will disappear, leaving her with straight hair. Apparently straight hair is UNDESIRABLE and I should just go get a perm or something. They think two-and-a-half is too young for her to get a haircut – never mind that she is growing hair like a grown up. They are also afraid the professional hair stylist will “mess up” and leave Annie’s hair looking ugly.
So. Yeah. I decided to ask the girl herself.
Me: Annie, do you want to get your hair cut, like Mama?
Annie: Yeah!! And Rapunzel!
But then Mike had to interject.
Mike: But Annie! When Rapunzel’s hair was cut, she lost all her magic. Do you want to lose your magic?
Annie: NO! NO HAIRCUT!
That’s just dirty.
So please tell my family that Annie is not too young for a haircut, it will not be ugly, and she will not lose her magical powers. OR, remind them that they can take over the job of brushing her hair every morning. She only hates you for an hour after.
EDITED TO ADD:
Because these things have come up over and over in the comments: She refuses to sleep in a braid, I’ve tried that. I use Ouidad shampoo and conditioner in her hair, which is designed for curls – and I use the adult kind, not the kid formula. I never brush her hair when it’s dry, but I don’t wash it every day because her scalp gets dry and itchy. But not brushing her hair is NOT an option, so I thoroughly wet it with Ouidad curl refresher. Oh and “brushing” is really just the term I’m using, I use a wide-tooth comb to detangle 99% of the time.
Also, bobs are cute but I am definitely NOT giving Annie one.
Somewhere along the way in my childhood, cutting my hair became a Big Thing, which meant I had awful too-long hair until UNIVERSITY because I was scared of big hair cuts. Which is so stupid.
Take an inch off. Get Annie used to hair cuts. It’ll grow back!
Firstly, don’t make we afraid to go to the hair salon.
A small cut of about an inch is reasonable, if anything regular trims keep hair healthy and it grows back very quickly!
To combat the birds nests and knots in the morning, try using a detangler and putting her hair into a French braid before bed.
I meant to say HER, not WE!
No, not too young! They wouldn’t even notice if you had an inch off it!
But have you tried a tangle teezer comb?
Not that one specifically, but one almost exactly like it called the knot genie. I have friends that swear by it, but it is not good on her hair.
Use the rational they tell adults. It’s true — you have to regularly trim dead hair in order for hair to grow longer and healthier. Young hair like hers will grow back quickly! One inch is NOT a crisis.
Casey P says:
Yep, I agree! We actually cut my 4 year olds hair just to make it longer (and hopefully, eventually, longer). Heather, I’m on your side with everything you said: a trim will even everything out, make the hair healthier, and Annie’s hair will still be long! Plus, it looks like her hair grows super fast anyway. One inch is maintenance, not a style change
Cut it!!! I went through the same thing when my girls were little. My eldest had the same kind of hair as Annie, and she never lost either her ‘magic’, or her curls. They came right back. In fact, I was amazed at how quickly both the girls hair grew back after their first cut. Their hair was healthier, shinier, and most importantly, easier to manage. You are completely right Heather, so tell the peanut gallery to go back to eating their peanuts, and you direct the rest of the show!
I am with you – cut her hair. Mike should be in charge of brushing out the knots for a few days or until he changes his mind :-). Good luck!
tell em they can either have it cut now (1 inch) or leave it another year or so til it is REALLY ratty and horrible, and then she’ll need to lose several inches to return it to its glory.
also do a little patch test at home to prove to them the curls won’t go – just trim 1 curl.
i fought my daughter’s first haircut myself for similar reasons (she’s almost same age as annie) – i gave in just after her 2nd birthday and she has only had that one cut so far…she neither lost her curls nor her magic powers lol!
My aunt swore that under 7’s should not have hair longer than shoulder length (in fact she advocated chin length). As a stylist she swore that if you kept hair short until then it would grow thicker. I had long hair when I was young and now it is fine and fairly sparse while my cousins have think and shiny hair.
My hair was also curly / wavy and was always a mass of tangles so I hayed having it brushed every day. Plus think of when Annie goes to pre-school / Kindergarden – Imagine trying to run a nit comb through those tangles!
My vote is to cut it!
I always had very long hair as a kid and it’s still thick as an adult.
Cut it. You can save a lock of it for her baby book. People get weirdly attached to hair. Especially girls, like it’s a cardinal sin to cut it or something. You’re talking about an INCH.
My daughter, who is just 2 weeks older than Annie, has been getting her hair cut for the last year into a bob. Her hair is sort of thin and mousy and I did let it grow for awhile but frankly, it just looked straggly so I cut it. It pained me at first because I’ve always had long thick curly hair so I assumed my daughter would too. But she doesn’t and looks better with it shorter. And I never have to fight her to brush it
Her hair is gorgeous and when I first read hair cut I was NOOOOOO! But an inch is COMPLETELY reasonable and should be done, it will help with the snarls (I have hair like Annie’s and it’s just so much nicer when the ends are maintained) plus if it’s uneven then it’s time for a trim. Her hair seems to grow super fast so it will be long again in no time
Tell them to shut it and get her hair cut. She needs to get used to it. Here are a few tips I have learned with me 3 monsters.
Don’t let them watch – it looks scary having someone come at you with scissors.
Go with her hair wet/damp so they don’t have to do it there.
Don’t make it a big deal don’t tell her where you are going just go.
When/if they cut the bangs have them hold them away from her face – my boy hates it when he can feel the scissors up against his skin.
Sleep in braids. I started that pretty early with my daughter and it helps keep her hair tangle free and helps with the curl factor.
You could do it and they would NEVER know…except Annie probably can’t keep a secret…Darn! An inch is nothing. They are being unreasonable. Now is the time you let Mike do Annie’s hair for a week and he’ll see.
Sorry Mike & Gramma – I’m team Heather on this one. With the way Heather described the hair routine alone makes me want to hop a plane, fly down and take Annie myself to give her a little trim…OUCH!!! With all of those tangles…SOUNDS PAINFUL!!! I do agree with Mike and Gramma on one thing though….you very well MAY loose those curls but come on people there are WORSE things in the world than running around with straight hair! On the positive side of the whole trim debate….trim hair grows FASTER than NON TRIM Hair!!!
Heather – I see your point Mama LOUD & CLEAR. I think if Mike & your Mama are so against you trimming your little girl’s hair than perhaps a STRIKE is in order….just saying….maybe if THEY had to endure the daily STRESS (oohh – another good point – YOU SHOULDN’T BE STRESSED, Not when your trying for another baby! SCORE 1 for You Heather!!!) of dealing with E-N-D-L-E-S-S Tangles, it might every well change their minds!?!?!?!
Good luck Heather….stay S-T-R-O-N-G Sistah!! All of us Straight Hair, Salon Lovin’ Mama’s are on your side!!!
Love, Love – Jenn xoxo
P.S. I’m sorry you didn’t get your wish this month but things happen for a reason and I just know before long you will get your wish and you’ll be sharing your great news with all of us who ADORE you!! xoxo
Yep, try letting her sleep in braids – that’s what I always did with my curls. My son’s hair has never been cut yet. It’s still much shorter than Annie’s, and not really a problem, but I have also been told he’d lose the curls once we cut them and I am soooo worried about it. Love the curls (and Annie’s hair is gorgeous)! Sorry I am of no help here.
I have been here with my daughter!!! Have someone take an inch off-it will take care of the dead ends.
I have used Avedas Smooth Infusion conditioner and Original Sprout Miracle Detangler which are the only things that have worked in her hair.
Cut it for sure. My reasons are: what everyone else said.
And for the record, when you DO take that pregnancy test, I hope it comes back positive
Looking at the back of Annie’s hair is like looking at the back of my granddaughters head. We went through the same battle for over a year with her crying every time we combed her hair. Finally my daughter agreed to get the ends trimmed and that helped some, but what really helped is putting it in a loose braid at night before she goes to bed. There are still a few tangles but not many. Trimming the ends did not make it less curly, if anything i helped because there isn’t all that weight pulling the curls down.
Amanda L. says:
I would say cut it! One inch is nothing in the grand scheme of things and yes, it will hopefully make it easier to handle. My 4 year old just donated her hair to Locks of Love and beforehand I HAD to braid her hair every night in order to get through it in the morning. Just a thought or something to try out. Make brushing and braiding her hair a part of her night time routine and hopefully it’ll be easier to manage in the morning. (Especially if she’s not a morning person )
Maybe Mike shouldn’t ever cut his hair….we don’t want him to lose his magic!
Lee Cockrum says:
For crying out loud, it is hair!!! Everyone has listed tons of reasons above, so I won’t repeat them. Get it trimmed. That little bit is not “cut”, it is trimmed!
My four year-old daughter has the same hair. Total rats nest, that got worse over time. Finally, one of our neighbours (who had the same hair when she was younger) suggested we trim it. So I did: an inch or so at the very curly bottom. It was like magic! The split ends and raggedy edge were contributing to her tangles — a straight trim was exactly what she needed to keep her hair healthy.
[I trimmed her hair in the bath and saved the curled ends in an envelope to weep over later.]
Mike and the others should know that (a) trimming Annie’s hair isn’t going to make it any more or less curly — that depends on what’s going on at the roots, not the tips; (b) her hair will be healthier after a regular trim, mainly because the snarled ends won’t be doing damage further up the shaft; and (c) most people’s hair grows 1/2 inch every month — in a few weeks her hair will be the same length as it was before. I’ll add that the person who does the maintenance should get to call the shots — either that or pay for her to have a wash & comb at a salon every day or two.
P.S. I never quite dared to use detangler — some people warn it dries the hair and ultimately makes the problem worse. But recently I switched her over to my shampoo and conditioner (I use a shampoo for curly hair) and: a new miracle! A gentle, regular conditioner (for curly hair) makes the tangles so much easier to pull out. We don’t use a brush or comb, by the way — just fingers, and only on dry hair while she’s distracted watching tv.
Yep – I use stuff formulated for curly hair, and use a wide-tooth comb. Have you tried Ouidad? It’s great!
No, but I’m going to try it now! Thanks for the recommendation.
P.S. I have long, straight hair, and curly hair shampoo does wonders for me, too — it’s ‘lighter,’ less drying and less likely to build up residue than regular shampoo.
Hair grows from the scalp (I mean obviously YOU realize that, that’s why you want to get rid of Annie’s old ends). That means if you lose Annie’s curls, it’s because her hair had stopped growing in like that months ago, not because you cut the oldest growth off. But also, the ends may be more ringletty because they’re finer and more broken, which means you are right to cut them.
The curly girl method makes my hair less tangly, and my 3yo niece uses a modified method. But she also has a lot tighter hair curls than Annie, so I’m not sure it would work. Have you tried braids or a mega-high pony tail at night (think Michelle Tanner)? It can help with the knotted nape.
That was all a really long way to say: you’re right, they’re wrong, nanna nanna boo boo.
She is most definitely not too young for a haircut, Heather! No one would even notice one inch being cut off. Let your mom and Mike come along so they can shriek loudly if the hairdresser’s scissors look like they are going to take a turn for the worse!! Would it help with the morning knots if you put her hair into a quick braid before bedtime?
I As I was reading it, I was thinking “Cut It! A short bob would look super cute on Annie.” So when I got to the part where they are fighting you over one small inch, I started laughing. Yes, an inch trim will make her hair so much healthier. I’m sure you must have those over the top, kid hair cut places near you, right? The ones that have special chairs to sit in, tvs with Disney movies on, etc. She would love it, no drama at all.
I’ve never understood people who think it’s wrong to cut girls hair. Like others have said, let your husband deal with it and see if he changes his mind. Hair grows back. With how long hers seems to be, even if you cut a few inches, it will be fine. I have a niece who had thick, thick hair since birth. We have pictures of her as a baby where it looks like she is sporting a toupee’. Everyone’s first reaction was always “look at that hair!”. Get her hair cut.
alex m says:
Well, the curls will probably be gone if you cut it but you’ll probably be really pleased with how healthy her hair will look afterwards. If its tangled all the time then its probably time to trim some of that off. I say go for it!
Have to jump in here… since you’re askin’ – I vote for much more than an inch or two. Like you said, long hair is way too much work and, more importantly, way too much pain for such a little girl. She has the rest of her life to grow her hair as long as she wants. My daughter had a jaw-length bob… until she was old enough to take care of it herself. Later on, she did have beautiful long hair for many years – until last year when she got a perfectly fabulous pixie cut. Now, at 23, she stands out in the best of ways – and looks every bit the smart, independent young woman that she is.
Cute! I like bobs – my niece has an adorable one – but not for my girl. She loves her long hair. If she wants a bob later, that’s fine, but for now she is in looooove with her long hair!
Rapunzel didn’t lose her magic. Her magical tears saved Flynn. Duh! I vote for a trim, and I emailed a pic to help prove why.
I support you! If you have to manage it daily you can say when it needs to be cut. Plus like most people have said it will grow back faster now that it’s healthy. Good Luck!
That “lose your magic” comment was umm … not the wisest. An inch cut is smart.
I said it last time you had a post on brushing her hair, but I’ll try again. You need a knot genie. http://goo.gl/usl2j
The knot genie totally changed the morning brushing nightmare for my curlylocks girl. With a little practice Annie could probably brush her hair herself with a knot genie.
I’m hoping for Annie’s sake you’ll see this….
Heather said above that she tried the knot genie and it didn’t work well in Annie’s hair. I’m thinking all the suggestions about braiding before sleep are the way to go.
Yeah, the knot genie was NOT good for her hair. It’s pretty rough on mine, too.
Oh and Laura – I wish she would sleep in a braid! But she refuses.
Ok, ok … so maybe it doesn’t work on everyone
Did you use it on wet or dry hair? It doesn’t work on wet hair at all. And you can’t push too hard. You’ve got to just sort of lightly keep at it.
My daughter was sick & feverish for a week and at the end of the week the back of her head was one big gnarly mat. Knot genie got it out. Slowly but surely.
Although I think Annie’s hair is GORGEOUS, I think cutting it is a great idea. My daughter got her first hair cut shortly before her third birthday–like Annie’s, it was thick and wavy and hard to take care of. We cut a fair amount off–maybe shoulder length–and it looked so tailored and stylish and the curls stayed! Last time she got it cut, she also requested the Rapunzel (after) cut, and I was actually really proud of her for picking the anti-princess look (go Annie!)! My only advice would be to avoid kids’ salons and take her either to the person who cuts your hair or somebody at your regular salon who does. It normally costs me $20 plus tip, but I only get it cut every six months to a year or so. Giving it some layers and shape helps it grow out really nicely.
PS: I would second the Knot Genie. My daughter’s hair got harder to manage after daily swimming this summer and between the hair cut and the Knot Genie, our mornings are soooo much smoother now.
We tried the knot genie! It was very rough on her hair.
What powers are more magical than donating hair to charity for an organization that constructs wigs for those who have lost hair to various illness?
Mine wanted to grow hers out for this reason, and she had super tangled crazy hair like Annie the whole time it was growing out. We ended up brushing before bed and braiding each night. It saved a tonne of stress and many tears.
That’s my vote. Explain the magic of kindness and humanity, make her feel special so she’ll know how special it is to be selfless and help someone else! Pantene’s wig program only requires 8 inches and I’m confident Annie would look adorable (and less hair care time would be wasted) with a super awesome post haircut Rupunzel bob.
trim, trim, trim! I’m thinking you already know your hairdresser, but if not…..word of caution from a former hairdresser here. One inch on curly hair can equal/look like 3-4 in real life if they don’t use the right technique when cutting. Make sure they really know how to trim curly hair! Good luck! :-0
I loooove my hairdresser but I haven’t talked to her about cutting Annie’s hair. I definitely will. If she doesn’t think she could do it, there is an entire salon not far from us that specializes in curly hair. Hopefully they’d be willing to cut Annie’s!
Oh, one more piece of advice: Ditch any kids’ hair products. Once we switched my daughter to Pantene shampoo and a separate real conditioner (not leave-in)–wow! Her hair looked great and was so much easier to manage. But I still vote for the hair cut too!
(Apparently I have a lot to say about kids’ hair. Who knew? I think I am traumatized.)
I agree! I switched her to adult products at the beginning of the year!
Not that you need more people to agree with you (who am I kidding, you can never have enough people tell you you’re right!) but I say cut it! It’s certainly possible it won’t be quite as curly anymore, especially since the top looks a little straighter in the photo. But like you said — what’s wrong with straight(er) hair? Even if she no longer has the ringlets, a hair cut won’t change the fact that she has beautiful, thick hair. And it sounds like it would make your life soooo much simpler.
Oh boy, dead ends are not going to result in longer hair, Mike! If the ends are damaged and split, that will eventually work its way further and further up until her hair looks revolting and unkempt. If left unmanaged, especially in hair like Annie’s that takes a fair bit of wear-and-tear just to keep it knot-free, her lovely hair is just going to continue splitting until it looks dull and lifeless. They don’t stop at the ends, you know! I have worn my hair to my waist several times and I can tell you first-hand that the only way to maintain it at that length is to surrender an inch every now and then. The alternative looks and feels horrible.
Be strong, Heather, and trim for the greater good!
I was born with curly hair….I’ve cut it bazillions of times….it didn’t go away. The shorter I cut it…the curlier it gets. Get the trim, if anything it will curl more.
Well considering both of my sons got their haircut at 8 month old or younger, I don’t think 2.5 is too young. She needs it cut because that baby hair at the ends is creating more tangles than usual. An inch is nothing.
Get it trimmed! I did with my daughter’s hair (she is a few months older than Annie) and it made the brushing agony a lot less….well…agony for her and for me. Trimming off the ends is entirely acceptable. YOU are the one who has to do this…..and Annie has to endure it. Make it easy on yourself and her, stand up to your family and DO IT! You won’t regret it. Her curls won’t disappear…
Totally with you regarding the nest of hair that awaits me each and every morning.
And agree with another poster…leave the kids hair products out and use normal shampoo and conditioner on her hair.
The only other option is a “Tangle Teaser”….Paid £10 for mine and I only wish I had bought it sooner…they’re worth 100 times what they cost.
Let us all know how you get on with it!
We have a very similar brush to the Tangle Teaser called the Knot Genie and unfortunately, it was NOT kind to Annie’s hair.
Really? It’s been a god send to us….but everyone has different hair. Annie’s hair is very adult like in terms of it’s thickness and shine. (ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS!!!!) But really, a trim won’t harm anything. Good luck!
I have 3 yr old twin girls with hair very much like Annie’s. I’ve had theirs cut twice now. The curls came right back and the hair looks so much healthier. The best though is being able to easily brush it without them trying to run away saying ouwie A little trim is a great thing!!!
Kim Q says:
Cut it, but don’t tell anybody. Just do it. I bet nobody will even notice an inch! Then you can later tell everybody if you really want to prove your point that an inch is nothing unless your hair is already boy short.
Kelly H says:
Cut it!! Just do it and see if they even notice. They probably won’t. I think moms have the over riding vote on this issue. They’re the ones usually doing the hair, like you said. Take her to one of those fun kid places where she gets to sit in a cool chair and get her nails done. She’ll love it!
I’m on team cut.
Frankly – I’d go more than an inch.. I think she’d look super cute (as always, of course)!
We had this exact same discussion going on in our house. Our daughter has hair just like Annie’s. I too wanted to have it cut and was tired of the rats nest and tears that came alone with it. (Kalie even said she wanted Rapunzel hair too…I think K and Annie could be buds!) Here’s my advice DON’T CUT IT! It got worse after we cut it, more tangles, more tears and it doesn’t lay nearly as well. Do you have a Knot Genie brush? If not, get one! It looks very simple but this is WONDERFUL and really really helps. I was skeptical when we first bought it but it has been amazing, even bought a second one just in case we lost it. It’s THAT good.
Yep, we have a Knot Genie and it did terrible things to her hair (it’s even rough on mine). She now uses it to brush her dolls’ hair!
One thing about it I should have mentioned we on use it on wet hair dry hair turns her into a ball of poof. Darn I hate that it didn’t help her, we call it the magic brush we also like the curls brand products have you tried those? My fab is the ring around the curliest leave in cream. I feel your (and Annie’s) pain. This type of hair is a challenge for sure. I hope you find something that works for you both. I do think the person who has to do the detangling should get the final say it’s no fun.
Yep, I always detangle when her hair is wet. I use Ouidad products in her hair and they are great – I definitely recommend them!
I should also mention I totally hate auto correct!
Erin W says:
100% with you! I cut my daughter’s hair at 1 1/2 (GASP!) and evened it out in a cute little bob! Looking back at the pictures, her hair was GORGEOUS! She’s 10 now and would NEVER. EVER let me cut her hair into a bob haircut at the chin line, so I relish those pictures. They’ll be glad you did it…besides…you gave birth to her (that’s what I always say) and when you have a boy, Mike can have more of a say-so in the male haircutting ritual (I still can’t get down what to tell the hairdresser when I have my 6 year-old son’s haircut). That’ll be his territory. Until then…it’s the mom’s call. Sorry Mike!
Oh no, I would never give up control of a boy’s hair either! The control freak in me would never allow that, hahaha.
Erin W says:
Plus…you have to get it cut SOMETIME. Rapunzel hair in real life is not magical and would be quite disturbing to see on someone walking around!
Cut it!!! Its’s only an inch! There is no WAY that crazy curly headed girl will lose her curls if you cut an inch off – the length is just weighing it down. It will grow back, fast, considering she has the most gorgeous head of hair I’ve ever seen on a kid that age. You have to preserve your sanity, and it’s not like you want to cut it into a nice chin-length bob or something!
I vote for TRIM! My daughter has naturally curly hair, LONG, naturally curly hair, almost down to her butt. I have been arguing with her Dad about it since she was born, he thinks she should never get a haircut and he has her convinced of that too, still to this day and she’s now 15!!!! And he’s bald, why would she take hair advice from a bald person??!! I try to convince her that she needs to keep healthy ends for it to grow more and it just feels so ncie and soft and bouncy after a cut but it’s a fight every time. Her first haircut was at 3 and with Annie’s long hair I say it’s definitely time. Good luck with the battle, trust me, it never ends. Get the girl used to it now so at least you only have to battle the others, not her.
We have the same problem, but I made the call and cut it. To be honest, it doesn’t help the tangles but when there is less hair, it is way more manageable. The Organix coconut conditioner is thick enough and sulfate free and seems to work best with the tangles. Her curls will most likely get tighter once you cut it too.
I say cut it. We just went though this with out 8 year old. Her hair wasn’t curly, but it was very thin and wispy, and ALWAYS tangled. I actually cut about 8 inches off of hers (just to her shoulders) and I am so glad. First, she looooves it. Second, the tangles in the morning are minimal and the brushing is so easy. An inch off of Annie’s hair will not even be recognizable! She’s got a good few inches of curls, and also, remind Mike & family that curly hair is way longer than it appears. So it won’t even be an inch of “what you see”. It will probably be like half of one loop of curl.
I would not even ask – ANYONE – ever! Lesson learned. I would make a Mom and Annie spa day and go for manicure and pedicure and hair cut and get 1.5- 2 inches cut off! She’d feel like a princess…in fact, it could be “Princess Spa Day!” By Jan 1st it will all be back, and attached to a healthier head of hair. No one will miss it. After that, regular trims every 2-3 months of 1/2 -1 inch should keep it healthy and manageable. Great way for her to learn about the importance of keeping her hair in great condition and beautiful.
A trim is necessary to keep the ends healthy. And if anything it will be more curly because it will be lighter (trust me on this one, if I cut my hair or layer it it looks as if I had a perm). I always braided my girls’ hair at bed time when I was still the one brushing it in the morning. No tangles, no arguments. Just don’t give her a pixie cut because it’s easier (that’s what my mom did to me) cuz she will never forgive you.
Oh yeah, I would NEVER! I like being able to braid it (when she lets me), and she LOVES flipping and twirling her hair.
My mom gave me pixie cuts as a child. I hated it, until I talked her into letting me grow my hair when I turned 11. Well, my hair is a pain in the ass, so I could understand why she didn’t want to deal with long hair after that.
I’ve gone back and forth on length my whole adulthood, and I’ve settled on chin length as the perfect compromise between long and short: short enough to not take an hour to comb, but long enough to frame my round face (which needs framing).
I had hair so much like Annie’s growing up – an adorable MESS of curls. And, believe me, those curls will hang in there even if you trim her hair! I still remember crying every night and morning while my mom brushed my hair – but it has left me with what my hairdresser calls “A VERY TOUGH SCALP!” (I should use that as a pickup line!) so there are benefits! But seriously, cutting her hair (a) will not ruin her curls but also (b) will not totally get rid of the tangle problem. One thing that helped me when I was a kid was to put it in a braid before going to bed – cut down on the morning crazy hair – and what works now on my adult curly hair is to cut out shampoo (just use conditioner to massage the scalp and lots of water) – and baby hair is even more fine and sensitive than adult hair!
Also on team trim. Evangeline is the same age as Annie and has already had 3 haircuts. Her hair is also rat nest when she wakes up, but that happens honestly cut or not, its just much easier to brush out when cut (We just use a wide paddle, plastic tooth brush with water)..but her hair is so much bouncier and healthy when trimmed. Her ends were so dry and sun bleached that we actually took off 2 inches this time but the result was fabulous. People comment on how much better her hair looks, how she looks grown up now with this bob, and how it’s just an all around improvement over the uneven ragamuffin do we were sporting before. Also, in 3 weeks, here hair has already grown half an inch. Cut that girls hair haha.
Barbi Emel says:
She’s due for a haircut. Geez Mike and Gramma, lol. I actually had to cut my daughter’s hair at 3 months. She was born with it past her ears and her bangs got so long I had to. She had her first professional cut at 6 months.
I am totally with you on this one! Get it evened out and get the split ends trimmed. My daughters hair is LONG (touches her butt) and we get frequent trims for split ends. Also, try pulling her hair back into a low ponytail at night…that seems to help here for tangles. And I highly recommend the “tangle teazer” (sp?) brush. I got mine at Sally’s Beauty Supply. Best brush EVER!
Cut the hair. And if Mike doesn’t like it, he can take over combing duties.
My 4 year old daughter also has curly hair, and my husband was also against getting it cut. I have regularly taken her for a trim since she was two, and every time she got a trim it was way easier to brush. This summer she started asking for it to be cut shorter and I finally relented – it turns out she knows her hair better than either Mommy or Daddy because it is super cute and so easy to comb now. The curls are extra bouncy, not frizzy and tangled!!!
Aubrie S. says:
You have to keep the ends trimmed to keep it healthy, Mike, duh… just a small trim isn’t going to do anything to her curls. Have you tried having her sleep with a loose braid at night? Might help with the tangles in the morning.
Cut it! My little one has had a cute shoulder length bob since age 2. Its adorable! She would look great, and it will make things much much easier for everyone! Just keeo it long enough for a pony.
Linda Stewart says:
A healthy trim would do wonders for the growth of her hair. Not only would it make it more manageable it would speed healthy growth. If they continue to fight a healthy trim then refuse to ever brush Annie’s hair ever again. If they seriously want to fight a healthy trim then let them fight with brushing out the tangles and the mess. Eventually it will get to the point where their only option is to cut it!
Cut it! When I was a kid I had super curly hair (not anymore, unfortunately), and I HATED when my mom had to brush it. And my hair was always short! I can’t imagine with long hair. It got easier as I got older and could brush it myself, but until then, do whatever you have to do to keep you two happy. Unless mike wants to start brushing her hair every day.
Find out when the stylists from Devachan Salon in NYC are going to be in Culver City and schedule an appointment with them. They specialize in cutting curly hair and I only have to get mine cut once a quarter…Ahhhmazing!
Have you every gone to the Ouidad Salon in Santa Monica? That’s where I’m thinking about taking her.
I live in Manhattan so I’ve only been to the salon here. They send out emails with the dates the stylists will be in California, that’s how I knew they had a studio out there. I didn’t realize how good my curls could look until I went there.
As a fellow straight-haired person, I find this offensive!
Ask your mom and Mike how they’d like to go almost three years without a haircut. In fact, I think you need to tell them they can’t get a haircut until Annie does.
I’m trying to grow my hair out, and I still get it trimmed every two months. Every person who’s ever done my hair has told me trimming the dead ends helps the growth. (Of course, they want my money, and they don’t get it if I just let it grow.) Tell Annie her hair will be even prettier after a trim. I bet Ariel or whoever the trendy princess is these days (I’m so out of it) gets her ends trimmed.
My oldest had hair like that – as she got older and it got thicker the weight of it made it less curly – more wavy now. I have to admit I miss it. But most of that is because I have straight hair and wish I had natural curls.
As for the night-time tangles, my mom gave me the best advice. A braid before bed will make your life easier. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy, not even a french braid, it just keeps it from knotting up while she sleeps.
The braid is a great idea that I’ve tried, but Annie is not down with it. She says the braids are “bumpy on her pillow.” This kid, man.
My daughter is 4 and has yet to have a trim or haircut..her hair is curly and if we go a day without washing it…ugh KNOTS!!! When her hair is wet it’s down to her butt…it shrinks up probably about 6 inches when it dries…we have been battling the knots…I have been debating on a small trim..because some of the ends are wiry looking! Tonight after her bath I combed all her hair into a side swept ponytail, no hairtie ..then braided it about 1/2 way! And she loved that cause she could play with it! I use Nexxus ultimate moisture shampoo..then some organix cherry ginseng? conditioner and then before I comb her hair I put a small amount of organix moroccan argan oil in her hair. A really good conditioner I used till I ran out was Renpure organics conditioner..it’s a green tube…very thick so it really conditions the hair..good luck with the trim..hopefully they will see your point!
Getting her hair cut can be fun for you and Annie. I’ll never forget when my youngest daughter got her first haircut at the salon. She was so proud and whenever anyone mentioned her haircut she would get this funny look of pride on her face and turn her head sideways as if to say “now can you see it?”. It was so cute.
Have you tried a little Moroccan oil in her hair after bath time? It’s a miracle!!
YES! It’s great – I use it, too!
That age is not too young at all! Most get their “first” haircut after their 1st Birthday. I have a 5 year old daughter and trimmed her hair when she was 7 months because I couldn’t take the unevenness all around or the scraggly look. I love Annabel’s hair and wished so much that my daughter had those curls but she doesn’t…bummer! My daughter does, however have thicker, slightly wavy hair which I love.
I think it would be great for Annabel to get a trim and when you do go, I think they say that for curly hair, you should get the hair trimmed in a “v” so that the curls stay. Not sure how true that is, this was told to me by one of my daughter’s classmate’s mom and her daughter’s hair is down to her waist and still curly, like your Annabel’s!
Heather! Let me give you a story to tell your family and Mike that may convince them otherwise. I, like Annie, had very curly had to manage semi-long hair. My mom nor my grandparents would hear anything of cutting it, not even an inch. Before long it was so long I was getting headaches so they broke down and let me cut it… guess what? It had gotten so heavy by that point the natural curl had been pulled completely out of it, thus I am now stuck as a 28 year old with STRAIGHT, most often frizzy after shower, hair. I think it stinks. It’s time for a trim for Miss Annie.
My daughter is 15 months and she’s had 4 haircuts. I couldn’t stand it being in her face and she won’t wear clips. I’d give her a pixie cut if I could.
All your points make sense. I can’t believe everyone is so against a little trim! You should show Annie one of those kid’s hairstyle books from the salon. We had a little girl about her age in our dental office the other day. She’d gotten all her hair chopped off into a bob and it was the cutest thing ever.
Casey @ Waffling says:
Have you tried braiding it before bed? I used to have terribly knotty hair and the detangler was still a battle for me too. My dad started braiding my hair before bed and from then on it never got tangly!
But I had straight hair. I dont know what braids would do for her curls
I have – she doesn’t like it, she says the braids “make my pillow bumpy.”
My friend grew up with very long hair (down past her butt!) and every night, her dad would put her hair into a french braid. Every morning, he would take it out and comb her hair. It NEVER got tangled. Maybe try a braid before bed. A loose one that won’t pull or hurt. Since she loves her hair, maybe Annie will like getting a braid! It’s worth a shot.
Are your brushing her hair when it’s wet or dry?
1. Never brush curly hair when it’s dry
2. Only brush curly hair once after each wash. Don’t brush again unless you’ve washed it!!!
3. Use quality shampoo and conditioner (not sure which “adult” products are kid friendly) and brushing shouldn’t be a challenge – do it before rinsing conditioner, or right after rinishing while hair is wet.
4. If she bathes at night, either sleep in a braid, bun, or put some mousse in wet hair (again, not sure what is kid safe) so it looks tidy in the morning.
An adult woman who loves her curly long hair, but grew up with a crew cut because parents didn’t know how to properly care for it
1. I only brush it wet.
2. I don’t wash her hair every day, her scalp is too sensitive. Not brushing it between washings isn’t an option, so I thoroughly wet her hair with a spray designed for curls.
3. I use Ouidad products for adults on her hair.
4. She bathes in the morning – if I wash her hair at night, it won’t dry, plus she refuses to sleep with her hair in any sort of braid or bun.
@Heather, speaking as someone with curly hair, I would suggest two things:
1. Not drying at night is not necessarily a bad thing! Let her hair dry as much as it will after her bath and then, before bed, put her hair in a braid. When you take it out of the braid in the morning, the curls will be much prettier than they would have been dry!!
2. Silk Pillow Case! It’s an old timey solution for curly hair that I scoffed at. Then, I tried it. It totally works!!
Well, bath time is part of our morning routine, mostly because our house is too cold at night for wet hair. Plus, she refuses to sleep with her hair in anything – she says it makes her pillow “bumpy.”
I will try a silk pillowcase, though – for myself! Hee hee.
How embarrassing, I can’t believe I misspelled “pillowcase” – what a moron!
Here’s a $20 silk pillowcase:
Stay away from “satin”, “sateen” or some other poly blend because they make you sweat!
I’m telling you from a girl with curls who used to wake up with wicked “sex knots” even when I was without a man, the magical silk pillowcase saved me tons of hair and tears!!
My daughter has straight hair and wants to let it grow forever, I’ve convinced her that it looks so much nicer and healthier if she keeps it trimmed. Even though it’s straight it can be awful to brush through in the morning so usually she sleeps in a braid. She’s finally old enough to get it in a braid herself, messy though it is, but in the morning brushing it is so much better! good luck!!!
oh go get it cut. When they are the ones who have to style it everyday, then they can have an opinion. Cutting an inch or so off will make a HUGE difference of being able to deal with it in the morning. To help with the rats nest in the morning, I losely braid my girls hair before bed.. keeps it a lil better! Good luck.
A one inch trim will not hurt anyone, and it will make your life easier. Everyone should be on board for that. C’mon!
I know it’s not the same, but my son was born with a lot of hair and I had to trim his little sideburns when he was 3 weeks old because it was driving me NUTS. She is certainly old enough.
Cutting your daughter’s hair is not designed to be decided by committee. Just do it. My husband has had 0 input into any of my children’s haircuts….0, 100% of the time. I agree with you and waking up should not be a battle over hair….every day, not fair. Her hair will still be gorgeous. Take out for a spa day, pedicure, lunch and a haircut. Make sure you go early and tell her she can go to her favorite restaurant spot for lunch, or that she can pick out a princess outfit or perhaps a new build a bear outfit at the end! In other words, bribe her. And tell Mike in private, that you are serious and he needs to support you. Dividing and conquering when it comes to parenting is dangerous. It may seem funny now, but trust me, it’s a slippery slope that will not be funny another time…it just sets you up for unnecessary disagreements that can really be damaging. United front! Even when we disagreed on something, we resolved it in private and in front of the kids we acted as if we were on the same page. Cut the hair and post tomorrow!
Oh, I love this comment and second it!
There is no debate. You do the brushing, you decide when/if she needs a trim. My older daughter had hair like that and I swear the rat’s nests took years off my life. and i agree with other commenters that braiding before bed helps.
Cut her hair! I also recommend the Remington Tangle Tamer.
Sorry Heather’s family, but you’re being unreasonable! One inch is nothing, and from my experience, it actually will make Annie’s hair grow back looking more healthy and awesome than it already does.
If your readers’ campaign doesn’t work to get them on board, Heather, try having Mike brush Annie’s hair for a week. I bet at the end of day two he’d be taking her to the salon! And one final thought: I think taking toddlers to get their hair cut is important so they get used to it (like going to the dentist, etc.). Otherwise it might become something that Annie is unnecessarily afraid of. Just my two cents!
Ojon Revitalizing Mist is a great detangler- it’s worth every penny! You can get it at Sephora.
I would not recommend the tangle teazer or knot genie. It ruins alot of people’s hair.
I also agree that cutting off the dead ends is not big deal. She’ll probably love being up in that chair getting styled!
Yeah, we tried the knot genie. It was awful on her hair AND mine. It is now a very expensive doll brush – and it ironically works great on the dolls.
My daughter has curly hair too and we got her first cut at about age 3 and I can tell you she didn’t lose her curls. We did have a hard time getting her to sit still for it, but we took her to our cousin who is a stylist and that helped alot. A trim to get the dead ends is something I always support:>
The one who brushes, chooses!
I’m a little torn on this one! I had/have hair exactly like Annie’s…I mean exactly. My parents let it grow really long and EVERYONE complimented me on it when I was a kid and people still do when looking back at photos. Knowing that people loved my hair at one point made it easier to go through those rough teenage years when all that I wanted was blond, straight hair! Now that I am adult, I, of course, love my hair again, but the teenage years were rough! Just a thought from someone with exactly the same hair!
When I was a kid my hair was like that. One day (I was about it took my mom 45 minutes to brush my hair for picture day and she was late for work. That night she cut my hair off so it was an inch long. Tell Mike and your mom that you don’t want that to happen! My aunt also got me a Mason Pearson brush for Hannukah one year. It felt good and my mom still has it and uses it every day, almost 20 years later.
I want a Mason Pearson brush for MYSELF! Ha!
I guess I will be the lone vote in Mike’s corner.
It’s beautiful hair and she’s a beautiful little girl!
It won’t be the end if you don’t trim it but it really is beautiful hair – I can understand why they are hesitant.
Still your decision Heather – you comb it, you decide.
Deb H says:
It is actually healthier to get a hair cut every so often. If you don’t the ends will get dry and brittle and the hair breaks…..then it looks worse than any hair stylist could do to it.
Some people believe your hair grows from the ends….it actually grows out of your head so trimming the ends gets rid of the old stuff!
Besides…..when I cut my daughters CURLY hair….it actually curled MORE. See – – there are benefits for BOTH sides!
Becky Campbell says:
Oh, for crying out loud!!! First of all, you are the one doing all the work…you get to decide! If you let it go too long, too far damaged, she’ll have to get more than an inch cut off to get it back in good, healthy, shape! Second, I’d suggest using Dove, Pantene or Herbal Essences for curly/frizzy hair! My daughter’s hair is 1/2 straight & 1/2 wavy and it’s been a lifesaver! That “kid” stuff is awful! Third, an inch (on hair that long) is a TRIM, not a cut!;) I honestly can’t believe your family is being so competely unreasonable! If this keeps up, Annie will start to hate having anyone touch her hair and it will be a lifelong battle! I say, do it and they’ll probably never know the difference and will probably actually agree that it looks much better and that YOU ARE RIGHT about ALL things hair related!
And Mike!? Losing her magic? SUPER uncool, Dude!
I use Ouidad shampoo and conditioner on her. I buy the trial sizes (cheaper and she doesn’t go through it fast), so I definitely suggest trying that on your daughter’s hair!
I vote for cutting it. My daughter, now 5, has gorgeous loose curls all over and cutting it into a slightly-longer-than-shoulder-length style with slight layering on top to allow the top layer to curl up more was the best hair decision I ever made. She looks adorable every day and the cut is easy to care for. But do pay for a good stylist—in my experience they just don’t handle the curlies well at GreatClips.
Important matters—you are totally right, Mama!
Cut it. Kiddo is adorable and her hair rocks, but it will be healthier and easier to manage after a cut. I promise, no one will even notice an inch. Her hair is long enough that a cut won’t do much except take some weight off.
Anyway, you have to cut the splits for your hair to grow properly. You guys have no control over whether the curls stay or go… what’s gonna happen is gonna happen anyway. Might as well make your life easier. A 10 minute hairbrushing session with a toddler? That sounds like a specially crafted hell.
Cut it! I also am a mom to a princess with beautiful bouncy curls. When you cut the curls, they get curlier! And it looks sooo much better than dead split ends. You could do what I did when I got the family/hubby protests, cut it yourself! They didn’t notice it when I did it, jst make it even and cut a smal amount, and the MAGIC is all yours!
PS: Does Maya (gemini girl) still have a blog? I see the instagram photos (which is new to me, not so sure if this is her “blog” now?) Or if I am missing something….. Not so good on, um, computer stuff……
She does! But she was having a problem with her hosting. I know she’s getting it straightened out, hopefully SOON!
My older daughter has SUPER CURLY hair and I had the same difficulties that you had at right about that age. One day, I got sick of the tangles, and cut it myself. I would not recommend that. It was uneven and while it ended up being sort of cute, I think she could have benefited from a nice experience getting her hair cut by a professional.
Her hair did lose a little curl and I was VERY AFRAID that I had forever damaged her beautiful little spirals. Turned out, I didn’t. She still (at 10) has crazy curly hair that is difficult to manage.
Hair grows back. I definitely think you should cut it!
I second Kellye’s thoughts on never brushing curly hair when it’s dry. I have memories of my mom brushing out my curls, my knots, making frizz, using tons of detangler and it HURT. As an adult, I’ve learned to manage my curly hair – and only brush it out right after it’s washed. Use a little curling gel or cream after combining and letting her hair air dry after washing. This will help keep the frizzies away. To tame Annie’s knots when she wakes up, let her sleep in a pony tail or braid as others have suggested. Then after she wakes up, try to reshape curls with your fingers, add a little water to help flattened curls bounce back.
I never brush it when it’s dry!
Your husband is out of his ever loving mind. Cut that girl’s hair!
Goodness, cut it!
It’s just hair! It will grow back!
It’s an inch! Cut it.
As a girl with very, very long hair, who has preferred and had long hair my entire life, I always get an inch to half an inch trim every couple of months or so, because I get tired of looking at those dried out split ends. It’s important for long, healthy looking hair! This could easily work out in your favor, and anyone who wants her to keep beautiful looking long hair!
Maybe explain your idea is a key part of healthy long hair maintenance?
I think a 1-inch trim is totally reasonable. My daughter got small trims several times (first time being when she was just over 2, if that helps). When she got older (like 4), she decided she wanted to cut it all off short. That one was harder to deal with. How do you explain to a 4 year old that it will take YEARS to grow back? I waited a whole year to make sure she really wanted to do it, and for her 5th birthday, we cut it. That was a month ago. She is now ready to grow it back out. Thankfully, she doesn’t hate it and she does understand that it will take a while. I figure that it’s just hair, and cutting it off is something every girl has to learn at least once in her life. (Me? I’ve learned that lesson twice. Never again.) I say tell your family to chill. If you wait even longer, it’s just gonna be built up that much more and be an even bigger deal.
First, Mike, that is a dirty, beneath the belt remark to get Annie to side with you! You owe Heather an apology!! Yes, I’m laughing, but it was still wrong.
Second, an inch trim is NOT going to ruin her hair for life! It’s hair…it will grow back, curls and all if that is how her hair is meant to be. AND SHE WILL STILL KEEP HER MAGICAL POWERS.
Third, keeping her hair trimmed will make it HEALTHIER and it will look and behave better during the dreaded morning detangle party.
Get over it everyone! Heather, take Annie in to get it trimmed and don’t tell anyone you even went. That’ll make up for Mike’s not fighting fair!
I had curly hair until I was 3. When it was cut, bye bye curls. My mom still has the curls in an envelope with the date on it (I’m 30). After the cut I didnt naturally have curls anymore but when I was older I learned that scrunching it with product and drying it upside down with a diffuser the curls came back. As beautiful as her hair looks, I vote cut it if it’s causing you that much aggravation everyday. It will still be beautiful.
it is bonkers business to think her curls will GO AWAY just cause you cut the ends off! oh straight haired folk. (talking to mike & gma here.)
If you were to only use conditioner (use it exactly like you do shampoo, scrubbing it into the scalp & all through the ends) her hair would curl tighter & easier, rather than just at the ends. conditioner has plenty of detergent in it to wash the hair thoroughly, and shampoo is mighty harsh for curly hairs. also i know you probably hear this a lot, but i’ll reiterate as a 20+ year curl wearer and mama of a curly 2 year old- no brush EVER on curly hair, especially when dry. brushes cause nothing but breakage and frizz. COMB ONLY, and braids or a high ponytail/bun will minimize knots (except the kind from friction of movin her lil head around while she sleeps, which every kid gets regardless of hair type).
I was using “brush” as a verb. I have a wide-toothed comb that I use on her hair. I never use it when her hair is dry. Unfortunately, she will not sleep with her hair in ANYTHING, so that option is out. She says it “makes her pillow bumpy.”
My youngest daughter, Julia, has long, flowing blonde locks with lovely curls for the first 6 years of her life – never having a hair cut. Finally, she asked me for a haircut – and all the curls were gone! Her haircut took off more than one inch, but she hated that her curls were gone. She is turning 9 on Sunday, and the curls ARE JUST NOW STARTING TO COME BACK! Try putting her hair up in a high ponytail or a bun every night before going to bed. That should keep the rat’s nest at bay and not give her a neck or headache while she’s sleeping since it would be above where her head would hit the pillow. Good luck. I’m with Team Mike on this one.
George's Mom says:
I didn’t read anyone else’s comments but I have a 3 year old boy who has been getting his hair cut since he was 6 months old from the girl that cuts my hair. When he turned 1.5 he started going every 6 weeks with me because his freaky hair grows so fast and I’m all for a boy looking like a boy (we are just getting him trimmed not army haircuts…she uses scissors which is way less traumatic than the clippers) and not a girl.
So…here’s my opinion just get it cut. An inch is nothing…
I giggled when I saw the boy looking like a boy comment, All but one of my sons has LONG hair, My eldest is in the Navy, so basically he has NO hair. My 19 year old has his to mid back, my 14 year old is shoulder length, and my 8 year old has waist length hair….. BUT They also Donate their hair to WIGS 4 KIDS, They provide wigs completely free of charge to children (The other hair donation place charges)
My 19 year Old Son’s Girlfriends MOM has stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, it has spread and she is on Hospice, He has vowed to keep it growing and then will donate in her Honor when the time comes, We trin his hair every 6-8 weeks. My 8 Year old has had his hair cut twice in his life. He is also a MOD baby….
My kids were blessed or cursed with Hair like their dads, He is Filipino, and has very thick curly wavy hair, the only part of my hair they got is the texture, My hair is very thin, baby fine, mid back and know one day I will wake up with dreads.
I say trim. It’s only going to keep looking worse (and ratty) not better the longer it gets if not shaped up.
An inch is nothing and it really is good in regards to keeping her hair healthy. My niece has gorgeous curls and my sis in law keeps it trimmed regularly. An inch, even more when my niece decided to go with a bob once, hasn’t stopped those curls. They’re as gorgeous as ever.
So, I think Mike and Mom are wrong in this case & Mike is totally playing dirty.
My daughter is a month younger than Annie and has about 1 percent the amount of hair she does. And even she has had her hair trimmed – about 6 months ago, in fact. If it’s a matter of necessity – in my daughter’s case, she had a rat tail and widow’s peak – then do it! My other daughter has those curls, and just this morning I was struggling to brush through them. Poor kiddo. It hurts. And again, her hair is SOOOO much shorter than Annie’s (despite being 4 years old). So yeah – one inch sounds like a lovely compromise. (Pssst. Mike is a guy. I bet he won’t even notice.)
Show her Pixie Faries and tell her she could be a magical pixie fairy if she gets the pixie cut.
NOOOOOOO! No pixie for Annie!
Cut it. It’s not even a cut, just a trim. I’d even vote for a bob. She’d look adorable in a bob, which is what I thought you were talking about at first. Yes, some of the baby curls will be lost but it sounds like her hair is becoming unhealthy. Her hair will change as she gets older, no one can stop that. If she’s going to lose the curl, it’ll happen anyway. I personally hate having to comb my daughter’s hair while she’s saying “ow, ow, ow.” Make Mike be the bringer of pain if he’s against cutting it.
No bob for Annie until she asks for one. She loves flipping and twirling her long hair.
LOL. I have the opposite problem. I have a2 year old, and everyone but me thinks we should cut it. It is nowhere NEAR as long and full as Annie’s but curly also. My husband wants to give her bangs. I told him over my dead body..LOL. Good luck, and I don’t think you would even notice an inch off of it.
an inch will actually make her hair LOOK healthier, it will get rid of all the broken split ends, thus allowing the curls to become more springier and cuter looking….
Mike and Grandam, it could be worse, Annie and Macyla could be playing VERY VERY quietly one day and upon checking on them discover that they have been playing Beauty shop, and they have given Annie Bangs, Bristle brush bangs, crew cut style bangs. My sister who have VERY thick Very Curly hair (Natural) was famous for doing so…..
My children have been blessed with my husbands hair, Thick, Asian THick Curly/Wavy hair, My youngest SON (8) has Waist length hair, He grows it and Donates to wigs for kids. brushing his hair is a 2 hour deal, it has to be divided into sections, then sprayed with De tangler (Pantene makes a good one for thick hair) then brushed, then the next section, all till his hair is brushed out, I then will braid it at night, he keeps it in a pony tail most of the time or a braid…
I honestly doubt Mike would notice the inch, Until, Annie tells him she had her hair cut, and then he sees the Photo Montage…
***Team Heather here***
Well that is just unreasonable. Hair NEEDS to be trimmed in order to keep growing. If what they want is long, lustrous princess hair, they are fighting the very thing that will enable Annie to have that! Also, 2.5 is SOOOOOO old enough for a haircut. I can’t believe that’s even a question. My son was getting haircuts from the time he was 16 months old. Annie is old enough to have a conversation about it and ask questions and understand reasoning– she’s beyond old enough to emotionally handle the situation. Also, curls do not thrive in heavy, dead, dry split ended hair. Healthier, shorter, smoother hair will HELP her curls, not destroy them– this from someone whose been maintaining curly hair her entire life. The bigger deal they blow this up to be the harder not only this haircut, but EVERY haircut will be. Regular trims are a part of life Annie should learn to expect early on in order to have a lifetime of healthy hair!
She definitely needs a haircut. She will not lose her curls & the tangles will be so much easier to handle. Actually, trimming her hair might make it curlier.
I recently cut my youngest daughter’s hair for the first time because of the tangled mess at the bottom. After the ends were cut, it was like magic. No more crying over tangles. Granted, my daughter does not have curly hair, but I do. When I need a haircut, the curls at the bottom are a frizzy mess. Also, if the hairdresser “messes up” (which I don’t think they will), her hair is curly enough that you won’t be able to tell unless her hair is wet or straightened. Good luck!
From a professional stylist: Yes, she needs the one inch or so trim to remove dead ends which are notorious for matting and making it really difficult to comb thru without hurting her scalp. Annie will still look like Annie and her curls will bounce back more beautifully!
Also, if she has curls now, she will always have some curl in her hair…cutting does not make a difference. I have had curly, frizzy, unruly hair since childhood and today I still spend a long time with blow dryers and straightening iron to control it so I look normal!
Even though I waited more than 3 years to get our gal her first haircut, I’m Team Heather on this one. I finally broke down to get her her first trim because it was getting hard to manage, and it’s not nearly the chaos that you describe with Annie’s hair. I bet an inch will do her (and you) good.
Shannon O says:
I don’t think she will lose her curls, and a haircut would really help with all the tangles. She will be magical even after a cut. Plus, I’ve known people who weren’t allowed to cut their hair who rebelled later in life and hated long hair. I must go with team Heather on this. Sorry Mike and your mom.
My 8 yo has only had trims, and yes one inch is a trim. Her hair is down to the bottom of her back. You have to trim it to keep it healthy for it to keep growing! And unfortunately, the longer it gets, the less curly it will be. I say go for it:)
And who says 2.5 is too young for a cut? Don’t they usually get a first hair cut around 1?
The only kids I know that got their hair cut at that age are boys!
Like everyone else has said, cut that hair, yo! And I bet you a million dollars that if you take her to get it done one day when Mike’s at work, he will not even notice when he gets home. Not that I’d necessarily suggest doing that! But seriously, not a big deal!
Cut, cut, cut! It’s only a little bit and their hair grows so quickly. I’ve been getting my daughter’s hair trimmed since she was a year old. Her hair is never tangled at the ends because I’ve always kept it trimmed. Go Team Heather!
Jessica Makuh says:
I say cut it. I know her hair is awesome, but we have to do what we have to do. She can’t have hair down to her feet someday! My daughter’s hair was just as pretty when we cut several inches off when she was 2 1/2. She lost the curls, but her hair has awesome waves and turns in around her chin all by itself. She looks so pretty with shoulder length hair! Mike and your Mom will find something else they really like about her hair when it’s cut. You only want to take off an inch! That’s nothing! I keep the hair of both my girls short so we can manage it better. I have lots of things to do everyday and arguing with them about their hair is not on my list. I am looking forward to seeing how great her hair looks!
Annie does not have “baby” curls that will be lost with a hair cut. Her hair is going to be curly no matter what. I can tell from her pictures.
Perhaps a good compromise though: take her to the salon for a consultation with Mike and your mom. The stylist will be able to tell if she will lose her curls. I know my daughter’s stylist could tell and cut her hair in a way to maintain the curls as long as possible. If the stylist says that the curls are in danger, then leave but I’m confident that the curls are hear to stay.
I am with the others here. Regular trims are necessary to keep her hair healthy. Dead/Split ends work their way up, resulting in more damage and ultimately more that needs to be cut. An inch or two is necessary to maintain those gorgeous locks. We had to take several inches off my youngest daughters length–due to resistance from her father. It was 4.5 inches of dead/split hair. Don’t make our mistake.
I have hair much like Annie’s and had been growing it out for about a year. I recently got the dead ends trimmed off. What a difference that made!! I vote for getting the 1″ trim without hesitation.
I also have a curly headed daughter. Start now and start often talking with Annie about what scissors are for (“for cutting paper, not clothes or hair”). Remind her that people who give haircuts have to go to school to learn how to do it and that she hasn’t gone to that type of school. Despite my reminders, my dd cut her own hair at about 3 yrs old with round-tipped children’s scissors. She was in the room together with a tween “mom’s helper”. They were doing a craft and the girl had just looked down to work on her project when my dd whacked away at the sides of her hair – about 1/2″ from the scalp near both ears and big chunks of hair from the back!! The tween helper was devestated!! Thankfully, I had some of my dd’s hair pulled up in a clip on the top of her head so she didn’t give herself a mullet. Also, thanks to her wildly curly hair and carefully placed hair clips, most people were unable to notice the self-inflicted haircut unless I mentioned it.
But BEWARE of self-inflicted (or cousin-inflicted) haircuts at this age!! They do not realize the power that scissors have in their hands.
Betty M says:
Definitely cut. A trim will make a big difference to brushing hell! If she has curly hair it will stay curly. If she is destined for straight hair so be it. She will look cute whatever and I bet you could take her for a trim and they wouldn’t even know and would just make remarks about how bouncy her hair looks instead.
I couldn’t agree with you more on this issue! My 4 year old’s hair is long and straight, no body to it whatsoever. This doesn’t make brushing any easier. We battle every morning, as I am also the main person who brushes it. I threaten to cut it, then retract as I like it long. Well, last night I came home (after getting my hair cut, ironically), and found her in bed crying at 9pm. Why was she upset? Because she cut her hair! Yup, she has been growing out her bangs, but apparently couldn’t wait any longer, and cut them off completely. Nice, huh? She also cut off 6″ chunks from the back. Good thing she had such long hair. So, she’ll be getting a cute little bob today after school. Besides the fact that were bangs are now only an inch long, I say it’s a blessing in disguise. I no longer have to decide if she gets it cut. If 2 1/2 weren’t too young to be alone with scissors, I’d say let her do the dirty work!
Yes, cut it and the curls will be even magnificent! The weight of her hair is pulling those curls down and not letting them bounce the way that they want.
If Mike thinks she should have as long as hair as possible, cause that’s what all the boys like (reading that should have him advocating a full head shave!), let him know that cutting off the split ends is key to long lustrous hair.
All that being said, good luck on a non-tantrum experience now that Magic Mike told her all of her powers would disappear if she got a haircut!!
Cut it!! Heather, you are so winning this argument via the internet.
I didn’t read all the comments but I think you’ve won this one. A trim is necessary to keep the hair healthy. Dead ends are the worse. YOU WIN this one. Let your mom and Mike read all of these. I’m actually surprised at your mom’s opinion, she should know trimmed hair looks so much better and grows faster. VERY unfair of Mike to tell Annie she’d lose magical powers if she gets it cut, that was a low blow!!! Now she may really be freaked out when she gets it cut. Shame on him.
Tiffani W. says:
An inch is totally reasonable, its still going to be long and it will look healthier and easier for you! My son’s first haircut was 1 year and 9 months (but hey, it was at Disney, so it was a big deal) but then he’s a boy and once it starts touching his shoulders, its a little long for my taste. BUT, and this is important, his curls still come back when it starts to get a little long (like now, when he looks like he’s got a Farah Fawcett thing going on on the sides)
Dirty Mike, that was fighting really dirty about losing the magic!
I am with you on this one. I hate when I see someone and there ends are dead. Don’t get me started on split ends or when the ends have that whitish look.
I doubt most people would even notice a trim of only an inch.
And about the curls I do sympathize there. It is sad when they go away. But the fact is if your hair is meant to be curly it will and there is nothing you can do about it one way or the other.
If you choose to cut it, good for you :D. If you choose not to (or even if you do), try braiding her hair before bed. A big old fat braid, or two piggy braids, may make the tangling less!
cindy w says:
Lucy is 16 months and my mom just gave her her first haircut last night because poor baby girl had a freaking mullet and I couldn’t handle it.
I’m pretty sure that by 2 1/2, Catie had had at least a half-dozen haircuts.
She is NOT too young. Trim the split ends. And tell your mom & Mike that if they don’t like it, they can take over Annie Hair Duty.
My daughter’s hair was like that – not as curly but had tons of waves and was just a mess every morning. It was much longer than Annie’s by the time she got her first real haircut and the change was amazing. Long flowy WAVES that didn’t tangle and so much more body. Plus it just LOOKED better. Honestly, if Mike and your mother continue to fight you on this, let THEM take over hair duties and see how long it takes before they surrender and claim you the smartest of all. Cut her hair!
I meant to include that Mike’s comment about Annie losing her magic was just low. I hope you stored that way and can pay him back one day!! :o)
Healthy trims are especially important for curly hair.
My daughter was two and a half. The curls do not disappear. If she’s meant to have curly hair … It’s curly! A one inch trim definitely go for it and you might want to try a low braid at night or a high loose top knot so she won’t wake up with knots.
our daughter didnt like to get haircuts and slso had long tangly hair- we convinced her to get “healfy trims!” every few months – they were not hair CUTS … just a little trim to keep her hair healthy maybe these could keep her magic healthy too!
Hot Topic, apparently. 140 comments already. That’s just FUNNY. Anyway, I laughed out loud at “Mike wants her hair to be as long as possible. ”
Um, Mike? Two Words: Crystal Gayle
No. No. No.
Her hair is adorable, but a little trim isn’t going to make it any less adorable, but enhance it!
If Mike doesn’t want you to cut her hair, then I’d put Mike in charge of brushing it every morning. Especially since he basically manipulated Annie into refusing to get her hair cut. Plus, yeah – you have to cut it to keep it healthy. I’m sure even Crystal Gayle gets a trim once in awhile!
Sorry Mike, you should lose this one. An inch off would make it look better and be easier to maintain.
Her hair is beautiful, but I agree with you, Heather. A trim would make it even more beautiful and healthy.
What nonsense – you are doing all the work. Annie is too young to have the deciding vote, and unless Mike wants to volunteer for hair-cutting duty, get her hair cut. It’s just hair! It grows back!
As a hair stylist I can assure you that you will not even notice an inch. My daughter and I both have curly hair and it will stay curly after cutting it. Sometimes much to my dismay!! It will be easier to comb after you cut off the ends and she will still have long hair. Sounds like you are doing all the right things to keep curly hair healthy. Good Luck.
An inch is no big whoop. I took my daughter for her first trim at Annie’s age as well. It will look much healthier and even and you won’t even notice it.
They also have cool salons for the little ones to ensure they stay still and occupied while the trimming is happening so Mike shouldn’t worry about it getting messed up too much.
I firmly agree with the fact that if you are doing most of the combing you should get to decide.
Mom in MN says:
As a fellow curly-girl with a curly-girl daughter – CUT IT! An inch will not be that noticeable to the family, but it will make your mornings so much better! My daughter had her first haircut (by my stylist) at 9 months old because it was out of control. She has had her hair long to her waist and short to her shoulders. (She is currently on the shorter side.) Also, her hair has gotten curlier even though we have been cutting it regularly for the past 12 years. Regular cuts are vital to curly hair. The uneven curls kill me as well. Just my two cents…
Let the nay-sayers deal with combing her hair for a week, they’ll come around. A cut will take some of the weight off and probably make her hair curlier., too
Best brush ever. But I agree with you, Heather. One inch will not make a huge difference in length, but it will make a huge difference in brushing and styling ease. Two and a half is not too young for a trim!
I have to admit, as GORGEOUS as that hair is, the first thing I thought when I saw that hair was that I would hate to be the one to brush it! I only say that because Annie’s hair is MINE as a child. Same length, style, and curls! I actually have memories of giving my poor mother hell when we tried brushing it. I have a feeling those curls will definitely come back. I had one awful bob in 4th grade and that was the only time it was remotely straight, and even then it was still wavy. My mom waited so long to cut my hair that they made me stand to cut it.
I DO get where Mike is coming from. It’s not that straight hair is bad, there is just something about loosing those baby curls! I actually don’t think she will, but I do get it! That being said, I don’t think an inch is unreasonable at all! You are the one who has the battle her every day, it’s totally your call. I actually think Annie might enjoy the whole hair cutting thing too if you play it up being a princess-y thing to do!
Vanessa Nilles says:
As a daughter of a hairdresser, I say YES, get it trimmed! I have naturally curly hair and mine is the longest it’s been in years, and I have a hard enough time brushing MINE! I can’t imagine. My daughter wears a bob, thank goodness! Get that girl a trim so you (and she) will be happy hair brushers again! Both of my kids had haircuts/trims within their first year and a half. Having grandma as our own personal stylist helps too!
Oh no, Mike! Can’t believe you said that! You’re lucky Heather’s your wife, if my husband had said that to my daughter in that sort of situation, I would have thrown something at him before even realizing it was bopping his head.
Get the cut, seriously. It’s time to cut the umbilical cord, and I mean for the adults who are being naysayers. One inch IS going to make a big difference in the sense that her curls will be BOUNCIER once the dead weight of the frayed ends comes off. Happens to my hair all the time, and I’m a grown-up whose curly head has stayed curly throughout all sorts of haircuts, some of them fairly short (think pixie cut).
Curl doesn’t go away with cuts. You either have it or don’t. And if Mike is skeptical, send him my way and I can show him the gazillion pictures of my tot on Flick’r. I cut her hair a bit around six months because it was getting unmanageable (like mom, her curls grow crazy really easily), and everyone in my husband’s family (no curls, probably why they were so concerned) was aghast. The ends of her hair stayed flat for maybe 24 hours, and then it’s like the hair went “Hey, guys, there’s room for a party here!” and boom, uber curls. In fact she was curlier with short hair than she is now that I’m trying to let the hair grow a bit.
My daughter got her first haircut the day after her 3rd birthday. Hers was as long as Annie’s is now, but it is stick straight. Like Mike, I was scared they’d mess it up and we’d have to chop more off. I mean, she took 3 years to grow that hair! No way was I going to chop it off! Anyway, I paid like $20 to have them cut off like an inch (a rip off really when you think about it), but it looked soooooooo much better, healthier, and more even. An inch is totally reasonable. He may not even notice!
my daughter has similar hair – and has been getting it trimmed since 9 months old. she has curls and the only pieces that have “lost” their curl are the pieces that were so lovingly cut by her friend. they were cut about 3 inches from the scalp all the way across the front of her head – yes we rocked the mullet for a while. her hair has since grown out again and some of the curls have returned. so I’m totally team heather here – trim it for your sanity and hers.
How can her hair possibly be that long?! She’s only 2.5!! Crazy! Beautiful though. I love pic. Tell Mike that you will always have the pics as memories and you will save a few locks, but unless he wants to comb it everyday (I can’t imagine dealing with curls — my 2.5 year old DD has straight hair and even that gets rat-nesty), you are going to give her a little trim.
I am in total agreement with you, Heather. Get the girl a trim. Not a bob! She does have beautiful hair, but a little bit off the bottom isn’t going to be devastating. It will probably look just the same, only healthier. I doubt that with as much curl as she has, her hair will go straight from a trim.
Amy J says:
I feel your pain. I have a daughter with unruley hair that is baby fine and straight so I can only imagine adding thick and curls into the mix! I swear my daughter must rub her head against her pillow all night to get it the way it is when she wakes up. But really, those curls are super cute! On the other hand she has to get it cut someday. Maybe those that are against it could take care of her hair for a week and they may change their minds!!
i agree make mike comb her hair every morning. my girlfirend had the same arguement with her husband years ago over her youngest. one week of her screaming and punching and his all but sitting on his child to comb her hair worked wonders he even took her in for the haircut in apology to his wife. also as someone with wavy/ curly hair mine always looks better when the dead ends are cut off and the curls don’t go away they get better without the extra weight pulling them out. also my mom use good old johnson and johnson detangler on my hair worked wonder ( also the same stuff my girlfriend used on her daughter)
Leslie Gibson says:
Either cut off an inch or make Mike deal with it EVERY MORNING. Or at least 99% of the mornings. One inch is totally not a big deal. Not even a deal at all.
Oh, Mike, that was a dirty trick. Funny….but dirty. I say if you’re the one brushing it every day, your decision. You know what your problem is, don’t you? You asked. I would have told but then again, I’m not popular most of the time, so what do I know.
Team Heather on this one! It’s hair… it will grow… you’re the one responsible all the time for her hair care, you get to call the shots! I’m sure you aren’t going to scalp her and render her bald… your family needs to lighten up!
My girl is 9 and she has had her hair cut twice….The first time we cut it she was about 3 or 4…Her hair turned a darker brown (from the very, very light brown, and she lost the curl. Have you tried that leave in Fructis conditioner. Her hair is long, we wash it and brush it everyday, but have very little fuss because her hair is easier to comb, or maybe she is just used to it???
Kristin Hicks says:
You are being very reasonable. My daughter is almost 13 and is into her hair being very long. She has waves though, so no curls. She only gets it trimmed about once a year which drives me nuts. I trimmed it up myself (it is all one length) about a month ago. Cut about an inch off – maybe a little more in other areas because it was uneven and longer in some spots. It is even now, easier to manage and still super long (past her bra strap). The trims do help with the growth and can easily help you with the comb/brush routine. Bailey’s is a lot less knotty and tangled and looks healthier.
Her curls will be springier. My daughter is 23 months and I just cut her baby hair off so it could all be one length. Her curls are much more tighter it looks amazing. Good Luck!
If it were more than I few inches I’d protest too…it’s BEAUTIFUL! But a couple would be good I think!
While I think you should cut it, because brushing it must be a nightmare, I will tell you this. If the curls are only at the bottom of her hair and not curling at the root, once you cut them, they’re gone for good. If it’s growing in straight, it will stay straight. If it’s growing in curly, cutting it will HELP the curls!
I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID NO CUTTING AT ALL! TACKLE HER MIKE!
That’s not true. My hair has natural curl, but the longer it gets the more weighed down it is and the curl is stretched out and it looks straight at the roots. When I cut it short it poofs up with lots of curls. Just some food for thought.
Sadly, trimming my sweet babe’s curly hair did result in the curl being lost forever to the salon floor. :-(. But give Annie a trim. It has to happen at some point. Might as well do it now.
Cut it. It’s just hair, it will grow back! I don’t understand the unwillingness to cut hair, doesn’t make any sense to me.
Ugh – I go through this with my mother! My husband likes my daughters hair longer, but understands that he’s not the one that has to deal with it. I have been getting her hair cut since her 1st bday, so Annie’s not too young. My mom always makes comments about me getting her hair cut “too short”, um, it’s below her shoulders! CUT IT – I’m on your side Heather!!
I don’t think an inch off will hurt Annie or her curls-not sure about Mike or your mom.
My daughter has long, straight hair that gets crazy tangled if we don’t wash it everyday, but since we are a little lazy and don’t wash it everyday, my husband, who often brushes and puts her hair up for school while I am getting ready to drive her there, would like to buzz cut it. I just encourage him to wash it more often, since I am not down with that! Her hair was past her shoulders all summer, so I took about two inches off, bringing it up closer to her shoulder, about a month ago. I’ve actually had her hair trimmed about seven times in the last 4 years, always because my husband was complaining LOL. It always grows back.
Annie has gorgeous hair, and I’m sure it will still be gorgeous post-cutting! (Sorry Mike!)
I’ll admit, when I first read the words “Annie” and “haircut” within the same sentence, I may or may not (re: so did) have a mini stroke. BUT, you really do make some very valid points and it’s only one inch!
But just one. Just. One. If I were you I’d even bust out a ruler at the salon with no shame at all before they start cuttin’.
Also also, I wish I had some good kid hair friendly advice, but alas, I was going to suggest the Knot Genie and then read your comment! Doh! Well, good luck– ONE INCH.
My daughter is younger than Annie (born in April) with MUCH less hair. We just got her hair trimmed for the first time a couple weeks ago.
I sort of think it is ridiculous that your family is telling you not to get it done. If it is split on the ends, it will continue to split up the strands and end up having to be cut even shorter to make it healthier. Get it trimmed up… even it up, make it healthy, etc. She’s got more than enough.
Lacey Sanders says:
I have straight, thick dark colored hair. My 4 year old daughter has blond, curly hair. So I hear what you are saying – each and every morning we spray de-tangler, in, and start the process of combing out each tangle – it takes forever. Even after bath time we have struggles and that when it’s wet. It’s not fun. I had Caitlin’s hair cut when she was two and my hair dresser encouraged the hair cut – it promoted the new growth of hair, therefore more hair grew out went the baby hairs – got rid of broken ends, reducing tangles – and the curls are still there. We only cut off about 1/2 inch. . . not much but just enough.
My younger sister had curls like Annie- we cut her hair (just an inch or two) and those curls never came back….Oh the horror! Beware, beware….
Sarah L says:
I would cut it…it will make it easier to brush and then will grow faster and quicker.
You are the mom and the one who has to deal with it. Do what you have to do. I have spoken.
Going to a salon isn’t necessary – just sit her down calmly, comb her wet hair, and carefully cut off an inch or two. My mom’s always cut our hair; it only takes a few minutes. If you wanted it styled and fancy, then go to the salon
I agree totally, unless you don’t think Annie will sit still for you.
My middle daughter has golden, curly hair and when she was about two, her older sister (3 1/2) decided that she was tired of all the accolades her sister’s hair was getting and when my back was turned, CHOP!! But they grew back and she still has amazing hair. I would definitely bring Annie to the hairdresser with her hair already wet – that was the only thing that freaked my kids out about haircuts. People tend to forget that our hair grows from the root so cutting the ends doesn’t make it grow in thicker or faster or anything like that!!! Just makes it look better and probably tangle less. I say that beautiful child will look just as beautiful with her hair cut as without!!! Don’t know about the cutting off the curls will result in less curls —- didn’t happen to my goldilocks at all. So sweet that the family wants to weigh in on the whole thing — hope you bring your camera!!
ABSOLUTELY CUT IT! It will be healthier and probaly even springier in the curls. Once it’s done, they will realize how ridiculous they are being. That girl would look adorable with any cut, but certainly an inch will not make that big of a difference. And this is for you Mike- do not let your daughter become one of those girls with nasty long hair that is uneven. I just want to walk up to those girls who are sporting V shaped ends and with a scissors, cut it off for them. Long hair is adorable when it is healthy and cut straight across at the ends. In other words, let your wife cut Annie’s hair an inch.
Add me to the “she can get a haircut”
if it helps in some small way.
I’ve always had thick, long, curly hair too. It was a lot of work for my mom to take care of when I was little. I 100% agree that if you have to care for it, you get the most say here.
One inch trim? Yes! Remind your family that hair does grow back. And I am sure her hair will stay curly. If it’s anything like mine, it will get a great deal curliER even trimming one inch.
My dad once got my hair all chopped off as a surprise to my mom, who had just had her 3rd baby. My mom flipped out! But my hair grew back fast.
Cutting one inch of Annie’s hair and it will still be long and beautiful! I support you on this one Heather and I sympathize. Curly hair is not easy to take care of and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job.
Amanda Parsons says:
I agree with you Heather! My daughter has curly hair to and after a cut and some of the weight is taken off its even curlier than before. Either way she is adorable. I say let Mike comb it out for a few days I think he will agree with a hair cut after that
Cut it. Seriously. My daughter got her first hair cut at 20 months and then I proceeded to wonder why I had waited so long. Her hair looked better, was so much easier to deal with (mind you, it is STICK STRAIGHT, but I’m still with you on this one), and it looked much nicer as it continued to grow out. Now, my daughter is almost 5. She has long, gorgeous hair and I continue to get it trimmed every few months. You tell Mike & your Mom that it IS possible to have beautiful, long hair while still taking care of it properly!
You know what IS magical? How those tangles become – I do not exaggerate – 90% less bothersome the morning after a trim. When my girls start having terrible knots even with conditioning and detangler spray, I know we’re due. Seriously, life is too short to spend it telling your kid to hold STILL already.
Oh this was us three months ago. Gigi’s hair was TO HER BUTT. Brushing it was a nightmare. I went through bottles of Pantene spray detangler weekly.
Andy was HORRIFIED at the thought of cutting his princess’s hair. Every time I brought it up (it’s tangly, all different lengths, etc), he threw a fit. It had never been cut ever, and he wanted to keep it as is.
Ok fine, it was then HIS JOB to wash it and comb it out. That lasted…ohhhh…three days? Off to the salon for a trim we went. We evened out layers and trimmed up the snarly bits. It’s still SUPER long but also SUPER manageable.
Cut the hair! Mike you are so wrong! With a nice one-inch trim the edges will look so much neater, the curls will fall even more beautifully, and think of the pain you’ll save Annie not having to sit through pulling her hair to get the knots out! You are so right, Heather, hands down.
When was the last time Mike had a rat’s nest combed out of his long locks? No fun for you or Annie! Cut her hair : ) Life will be happier for everyone and her hair will be healthier. Long hair doesn’t equal no haircuts if you want it to look nice : )
cut it. An inch off is nothing. My daughter’s hair was the SAME way but blonde and for many years.. she wore the cute bob, because she would freak if I combed it and then as she got older, she would not take care of it and off it came. Now that she is 14 her hair is long and she takes care of it.
Liz S. says:
I haven’t read the comments so sorry if this is repetitive! I have curly hair and so does my daughter. I never shampoo mine. Conditioner only. Lots of it. Read the Curly Girl Handbook. Changed my life! Wash hair with conditioner like you would with shampoo. Reapply and then don’t completely rinse it out. When it gets tangled use spray conditioner not detangler. Spritz with water. Finger comb. Works with my hair (very long). My daughters (2.5 years) is still short but it has worked with her too! I’m with you, cut an inch off! But I’m still havin the same arguement with my husband, so I’m no help there! Good luck!!!
Cut it, make it easier on both you and Annie, I had curly hair as a kid ( still do) and I can still remember the pain and tears everytime my Mom combed my hair, talk about trauma 40 plus years later and it still makes me cringe
Not sure youll read this as your gettin a lot of comments today but My daughter is the same age as Annie, exact same personality, exact same hair (only blonde which I’m still shocked about lol). I didn’t want to cut my girls beautiful locks but it was the best thing I did last month. We were having crying fits and I, like you, had done and tried everything even a $40 boat hair brush from Sophra. Cut it you will feel better and so will she and it will brush soooooo much easier. honestly you’ll wish you would have done it sooner, I did. And I can actually wear her hair down more often now
Boar hair not boat hair damn autocorrect
Holy comments Batman! This post touched a nerve.
I still remember my intense dislike for my mother “brushing” my hair, and it was, and remains, pin straight. It was just too long. I am in the camp voting for a little trim.
the only thing that ever worked for tangles for us was “No More Tangles” like magic
I really could murder the Disney corporation for the movie Tangled. Because seriously, the fights. THE FIGHTS. My daughter has very fine, nothing-at-all-like-Annie’s hair. She has the ringlets, but the rest is very wispy and when she wakes up, she looks like a muppet. I let her leave it long, because I don’t want to fight that battle, but also, because when I was her age, my mother made me keep my hair boy short, and the nightmares are still strong. But I keep it so that it has a shape to it. And also, you can tell your mom that she won’t cut the curls off. She’ll still have curls at the bottom. Have you tried argan oil?
Ok, I’ve been there. Literally: including Tangled reference & fear of curls disappearing and extended family freaking out. Photographic proof: http://guarros-gone-wild.blogspot.com/2011/02/first-hair-cut.html. The curls stayed (I cut a little more than an inch – with creepy photographic proof at how much) – and I’ve done the same cut this past year (so 2 non- haircuts). My tangled (literally) girl is now 5. I’d like to say it gets easier, but it wasn’t until recently there has been some solace from the nightmare that is morning hair do time. She sleeps in a braid, and I swear when I go to re-do it in the morning, new knots have FORMED. Anywho – I’m sure you’ve tried it all – but bless Target. Their “up&up” brand – hair detangler spray on is the ONLY thing that helps.
Suzanne L. says:
I say if you are in charge of the upkeep of her hair, you get to be in charge of haircuts. (Sort of like being in charge of the radio when you’re driving…or deciding NOT to get a dog because you know you’ll be the one feeding and cleaning up after it. Oh wait, we’re talking about YOUR problems, not mine.) Put Mike in charge of her hair for one week and revisit the conversation. I guarantee it will be different…that is, if he doesn’t cut it himself out of frustration.
i have massive curly hair myself and detest brushing my own hair. i use marc anthony strickly curls leave in detangling conditoner. i get it at ulta. it has saved my life, when i am brushing and the knots are out of sight i just spray a little on and magic happens. hope this helps!
I say cut it…it will prevent the big snarls down the road, get her used to haircuts, and give you back a few minutes every day.
Oh, and I didn’t read through all the comments, but I just wanted to add that my mom used to put infusium leave in conditioner on my and my sister’s incredibly tangly hair…worked like a charm! Just put it in a spray bottle, spray on wet hair, and comb.
I was a hairdresser in a former life and I regularly trim my neice and nephews hair. My SIL was dead set against cuting Molly’s hair but eventually gave in and her hair looked awesome! I second the Princess Spa Day!
(And I agree with those who say that a trim is very different from a true cut… An inch is only a trim!)
I avoided cutting my own daughters’ hair for years (they’re now 5 and 7), partly because they begged for hair “to their butt” and partly because I just couldn’t bear to cut it – it made me sad, somehow. Finally, when their hair was down to nearly their elbows, a friend convinced me to have their hair trimmed (my stylist actually wound up taking 2-3 inches off — that was how much was dead and gross at the end. Bad mama on my part!!).
Rather to my shock, both of them wound up looking SO much better after their cuts! Their hair was really full (again, to my shock; I’m clearly hair challenged because I didn’t understand that it could look fuller when there was less of it, lol) and obviously much healthier – nothing scraggly or uneven. And, even better, it grew back so much stronger than before (and, for my daughter with the wavy hair, it grew back curlier).
In any case… I love Annie’s gorgeous hair, but don’t even think twice about trimming it!
i will 100% support your valiant fight to trim her beautiful, but difficult, locks. i have very long hair and i’m afraid to cut it because my MOTHER wanted to live vicariously through me and now i really believe i’m rapunzel. its ridiculous. otherwise, tell mike to start doing the hair care work. he’ll change his tune quickly.
Oh my goodness! Please cut her hair!!!!
I can tell just by looking at it in that photo that she has super unhealthy ends!
Few things get me more crazy than unhealthy ends!! (Grown-out dye jobs are a close second). Those people with waist length hair and disgusting dead ends? Well, let’s just say they’re lucky I don’t carry scissors!
Tell Mike and your mom that the longer you leave those dead ends on there, the higher the splits will travel up the hair shaft. So the longer you wait, the more you’ll need to cut in order to get rid of those disgusting split ends!! (Yes, I have an intense hatred of split ends! I literally spend hours going through my hair with manicure scissors, cutting them one by one while I’m listening to the TV!)
Unfortunately, you’re only making them worse by brushing her hair while it’s wet. You should never brush or comb wet hair, as it’s more fragile. But hey. At least she lets you comb it!
As someone with curly hair just like Annie’s, I can assure you that her hair will get CURLIER when you cut it. (Though for a couple days, it will be a bit pissed off…that happens after every cut, as your hair is in “shock.”) The weight of her hair pulls down on the curls, making them less pronounced and only at the bottom. I’d give her long layers too, as that will remove some of the weight and the curls will form further up.
Yeah. This is one case where I’d take her for a haircut behind their backs if necessary. Sorry, Mike and Mom! Healthy ends must prevail!
My thought? You gave birth to her. You comb her hair 99% of the time. You win
I would go with 2 inches. Get rid of the nasty bits. I bet no one will be the wiser.
Cut the child’s hair! It’ll likely make it more curly because it won’t have as much weight. She’s not too young at all!!!
You know, cutting off those curls are just symbolic that she’s no longer a baby. And those curls are so super precious. I think my daughter was about Annie’s age when I cut it because she had crazy long hair, too. And I saved the curls for the scrapbook.
It’s all sentimental. The curls will grow out – so it’s just a matter of when you cut it – now or later. If she’s miserable when you brush then you should cut it. I have to say- she does have beautiful baby curls! But I also know the stress that comes with being the brusher. I guess I have no advice. Good luck! She’s adorable either way.
Cut it! An inch will be helpful and it’s not like she won’t grow more of it.
I’m starting to think you should tell Annie that hair can get ruined at the ends and if you don’t take care of it, it will be unhealthy and affect her magic. But by taking only a little bit of the unhealthy hair off, it leaves her pwincess hair beautiful and healthy with all of it’s magic powers!
And then tell her you don’t even think anyone will be able to tell (your mom might, but Mike won’t).
Then take her without telling anyone and bribe her with the awesome treat of her choosing and then tell her she needs to play a game and she can’t tell anyone she got her hair cut until they say something to her about her hair.
I have a 9yo with the same hair. Tell your mother and Mike that cutting the inch will actually make it MORE curly as it pulls the weight off. You are right in the brushing being easier – WAY easier!!
My daughter won’t sleep in a braid either but is okay with a soft scrunchie pulling it back loosely. Not a perfect solution, but better than leaving it loose!
Okay after the first 100 or so CUT IT comments I stopped reading and realized everyone is on team Heather with me But I want to add that as the mother of a 7 in December year old who also has beautiful curls I was afraid of losing – I had all the same fears – her pretty curls would disappear. But I got soooo sick of the screaming whenever I tried to cut her hair (my favorite – “WHY do you HURT me?? You’re supposed to LOVE me, you’re not supposed to HURT me!! – yeah she was THREE at the time) and thank God I did. Curls did NOT go away, in fact, the were springyer (yes that is a word) and OMG SO MUCH EASIER TO COMB!!! I used Rusk Leave-In Conditioner (it’s the color of orange sherbert) and ran a big dollop of that thru after a bath. Now, whenever we encounter tangles after a bath I know it’s time for a haircut. Seriously if you didn’t tell them they wouldn’t even notice you did it.
It might be a bit of a hike but I take my daughter to a place in the valley (Northridge) called Over The Rainbow. They have a big play area with a dollhouse, video games and ballons while you wait. Then when they put them in the chair they watch movies, AND give them a bucket of toys to hold in their lap. On your very first haircut they even give you a special certificate with a lock of hair. SO WORTH IT. It’s in Northridge on Roscoe (I belive) just East of Tampa
Just cut! Trust me- I have straight hair but I remember sitting through detangling and combing as a very little kid and it was awful!
Wow I’m not going through 252 comments but I am going to say if Mike doesn’t want the hair cut then for the next two weeks he can do the hair routine. the nightly washing, conditioning, and brushing. Then in the morning he can spend the 10-20 minutes detangling her hair with the brush and not stopping when she screams and throws a tantrum of “daddy stop it no more brushing!”
One inch is nothing. It won’t kill her hair. If you wanted to chop 2-4 inches I’d be horrified. I do adore Annie’s hair. But it is uneven, and split ends on curly hair or any hair is not healthy no matter what shampoo or conditioner you use. And since Mike won’t let you cut Annie’s hair, Mike, no haircut on your hair either. Since uneven ends and split ends aren’t a big deal, I’m sure it won’t look bad on you either. You’d look fine with shaggy hair. You can just push it behind your ears when it gets long, then when it gets even longer Heather can braid it for you to keep it out of your eyes.
My daughter had the exact same hair, it looks like I’m looking at my daughters curls from when she was younger! I think I bought every brand of detangler there was, every brush made for detangling, it was such a nightmare! Honestly, I hated brushing her hair, but I was so afraid to lose her curls I waited until she was 4 to cut it. Then, we cut about an inch and a half, and her curls became waves. I cried, the stylist told me that her curls would stay and she really needed more than 1 1/2 inches off.
Now, she’s 9 and I miss her curls dearly, lol!Her hair has a little bit of a wave to it. But, my Hubby also reminded me that both of his sisters had the same type of hair,it went straight, and then they turned 13 and now they have the curliest hair I’ve ever seen! So, mabye one day I’ll get to see those curls again!
DO ITTTTTTTT! Just pick a day, and take Annie for a “Mommy and Annabel day” and get some primping/pampering done. Pedis and manis for you both, and TRIMS for you both too- if she sees Mommy getting her hair cut, she will surely want one too. And if it is truly just one inch, no one will even be able to tell, especially with those adorable curls. I’m not suggesting not telling hubby or Gramma that you are doing it- but, if you forget to tell them until after the fact, that would do the trick!!
The grandparents in our family didn’t want me to cut my older son’s hair when he was a baby either- he didn’t have curls or anything, they just didn’t want me to do it. It was all uneven and weird looking, so I just took him to get his haircut and was done with it. My parents and hubby’s parents went nuts about how adorable it looked after we got it cut, so go figure!
If you do the brushing and detangling, you get to decide when she gets it cut. It will still be long, don’t worry! I have had long hair my entire life, and the only thing that keeps it healthy and manageable is religious trims every 6 weeks.
No one will notice a one inch trim, promise!!!
Don’t use adult curl shampoo. Use children’s shampoo and conditioner like Johnsons. My daughter’s hair was about ten times curlier and thicker than Annie’s. My daughter had tight spiral pin curls from a year old until now, 22 years later. My daughter was Little Orphan Annie on steroids. Her spiral curls were very tight and they stuck straight out. Her hair has always been long. Ouidad adds bounce to curls. The last thing my daughter needed was added bounce to her curls. Children’s shampoo and conditioner are properly balanced for babies and young children. I used that daily on my daughter and never had a problem with brushing.
I don’t have much advice for curly/kids hair, but I do have some advice for hard to handle hair. My hair got pretty damaged from bleaching a few years back. For awhile, I had to come my hair in the middle of my shower while the conditioner was in using a wide tooth comb. It was ridiculous, but it definitely made it easier to handle and made sure all my hair was conditioned.
And my come, I meant comb. Ooops.
Mama Mongoose says:
Annie is gorgeous. Her magic comes from within though. She could be as bald as Mr. Clean and she’d be just as special.
260 comments about Annie’s hair!
I’m in the “an inch is very reasonable” club, having hair with a natural curl in it. It always looks better after a trim.
I was totally going to suggest the braid thing, but then I saw you edit. When I wear my hair curly, I douse it in detangler and then sleep with it in a braid to keep it from getting too crazy.
But another good alternative is a silk/satin pillowcase. That will help her hair slide around when she is sleeping.
I totally think a trim is ok. It helps to keep her hair healthy, and I’m sure she would have fun getting special treatment at a kiddie salon.
My daughter was 8 weeks (yes WEEKS) when she had to have her fringe trimmed for the first time!
2 isnt too young, and it will be healthier and if Mike wants to brush it every day he can use the dirty tricks. Until then, since you do it most of the time, youre in charge.
Book the appointment and do it, no discussion. Reward Annie big time for it and keep the trimmings. But do it!
Mary Ann says:
I am with you on this one Heather, Annie has gorgeous hair but straightening it a little will definately make it prettier. She is not too young. By the way Mike Boo to your Magic comment…kids have enought to deal with growing up now you made your kid afraid of haircuts good thinking – NOT! Plus why would you want your kid to be in pain every morning getting their hair brushed out.
Erin @ One Particular Kitchen says:
You brush the hair? You make the call. DOOO EET.
She is definitely NOT too young for a little trim. I’m with Heather, you won’t even be able to notice an inch!!
Susan A says:
I think you have made a very good compromise. I think two inches wouldn’t be too much.
Looking forward to seeing the after picture!
Have you ever heard of a Tangle Teezer? http://www.tangleteezer.com/
I found them in a drug store when I was in London last summer, and they are worth their weight it gold. I’ve had hair like Annie’s my entire life, and worse. Those get the tangles out of my hair like a dream. I haven’t seen them in stores in the US, so it might be something you have to order online.
Have you looked into using hair products without silicone or sulfates? Silicone is horrible on curly hair, it makes it the hairs stick each other (and thus tangle) and it dries out like crazy. Sulfates can irritate the scalp, and make it itchy. California Baby is sold at Target (at least, it is in Florida) and it is free from both. Adults with skin issues (or just like the smell) use it so it isn’t just for babies, despite the name.
My daughter has SUPER curly hair. I totally feel you on the battle of brushing. Now that she’s older and brushing it herself I bought her a product called Noodle Head-Condition Your Curls. It’s by Beyond the Zone. It’s a leave in conditioner and it is amazing! I find it here in AZ at Sally’s Beauty Supply.
A trim always helps my daughter with the tangles too. And I find that taking some of the weight off makes her curls even curlier.
Hi Heather! I know you mentioned that braiding is not an option, but what about a soft ponytail or a bun on top of her head? I have curly hair and I do NOT wash it everyday, more like twice a week, and I just put it up in a bun so that it’s on top of my head and doesn’t bother me when I sleep and then I refresh it with a bit of curl refresher in the morning to get any creases from the bun out. Maybe she’d let you try that? No bumps to sleep on!
Cut it! It will still be long and curly and gorgeous, but a little easier on you (and her, actually!). I had hair just like Annie’s and I remember those horrible detangling sessions!
Babies sometimes lose their curls when they have a cut, but Annie isn’t a baby and clearly has very curly hair, so that’s a silly thing to worry about. Also, hair is going to turn out how it’s going to turn out, unless you get some chemicals involved!
I may be in the minority here, but I think that as the hair-brushing parent, you have the one and only vote. Not your mom, not your husband, and most definitely not Annie. She’s two – she doesn’t know what she needs (think about all the times you know she’s hungry/tired/sick/whatever and she insists she isn’t if you don’t believe me). Just like bedtime/meal time/doctor appointment time, she doesn’t get to opt out – because she’s two and can’t make an educated decision about it.
If her hair is tangled like that, it very likely needs a cut — that’s always the case with my 5 year old’s hair — and it may need more than just an inch taken off in order to get above the damaged ends.
As for curls, you can add me in to those with curly hair. With that experience under my belt, I will add my agreement to those who said that cutting it won’t “cut off” the curls if her hair is truly curly . They’re also right in saying that if her hair is truly curly, it will spring up more once some weight is removed. I’ll also add in a suggestion for VERY long layers in the back. They help give the curls shape and also reduce tangles.
That was dirty! I say the one who takes care of her hair decides. So either 1) Mike just appointed himself hair dresser of Annie from now on, or 2) take her to one of those fun places where they watch TV and are distracted. She shouldn’t fear getting a hair cut-it’s hair and it grows back!
I say one inch is okay. Have you tried the Wet Brush? I swear by it. My girls don’t get as mad at me when I use that brush. And, it has to be that one, not a knock off.
I used salon shampoo and conditioner on my daughter’s hair. She has thick black hair and no matter the conditioner or detangler, it was a bear to comb out in the morning. A friend told me to try plain old Dove hair conditioner. Oh my gosh! My daughter wakes up in the morning and I can run my fingers through it! I am not kidding you!!!! The trick is to not rinse out the hair forever, get the majority out, towel dry and then let it dry on its own. Her hair is not waxy or limp, but very full and fluffy. You would be surprised. The beautiful shine is the icing! It’s worth a $3.00 try!!
Growing up, my hair was so thick and curly that my mom had to use an afro pick to get the knots out. I actually screamed so loudly every morning when she was combing it for me that my wound up waking my sisters and dad up because they thought I was actually hurt. Anyways, my parents cut my hair to my chin every two months and I never lost my curls. I’m 20 now and still have the curls I had when I was younger, just a lot looser and a lot easier to manage since I (a) get my hair thinned (b) have damaged the texture of my hair by straightening/curling/drying it every day.
I think you should cut Annie’s hair as it had no adverse effects on my hair and I think it’s a little caveman-y not to want your daughter to have short hair in this day and age.
The the only thing I could say that may help you with Annie’s hair is to try and find a comb with a sprayer on the end. My mom had one for me and would fill it up with either water or de-tangler, and while it didn’t alleviate all of the pain of having my hair yanked, it at least quieted me down a little bit.
Cutting her hair a little bit will remove weight, and so it will probably add curl. Also, healthy hair tends to grow more quickly and will therefore be longer. So yeah, their fears are unfounded. Put Mike on hair duty for a couple of weeks and see if that changes his mind.
There’s nothing wrong with a little trim. Not a thing.
lisa gleeson says:
Having felt your pain when my last child was young (her hair was beautiful and curly, although not as curly as Annie’s and she hated for me to brush it!), I say cut off at least 2 inches. It will definitely look prettier and save you and Annie from having that horrible fight in the morning to brush her hair.
Either that or they can do all the brushing, I’m just saying.
My daughter is 7 and has has 3 hair cuts. Two trims and once she donated 17 inches to locks of love. Her hair was down to knees and I spent a foutune (still am!) on good shampoo and conditioner. Anyway, I’m with Heather a inch or two off the bottom makes a huge difference. Trust me it will grow back!
I can’t believe this is even an issue. You’re the parent–and the parent that does the work that is causing issues. Take her and get an inch or two cut off and don’t tell anyone and sees who really notices.
My cousins did lose their curly baby hair as they grew, but it wasn’t because of haircuts, it’s just cause it got more mature and thicker.
Lisa N says:
A) That was VERY unfair of Mike
In no way is she too old for a haircut. What if she was a boy? My nephew, who has TONS of hair got his first haircut when he was like 4 months old.
C) There is a high probability that she will lose her curls. My daughter (now 6) had hair like that. After I cut it, she still ha wave, but is doesn’t make ringlets. No matter what the length.
D) an inch is very reasonable, especially if it will ease the torture of the daily brushing process for both of you.
E) How would a hair stylist “ruin” it? I doubt they’re going to hack it off super short if you tell them to trim it.
Get it trimmed!
My daughter was about the same age when it became a difficult morning routine. She did lose her curls on the bottom but everyone- her and I- were much happier that it wasn’t a fight every morning to brush. Now that she is 6 she wants to grow her hair really long and we agreed as long as she takes care of it by brushing it or having one of us help her brush it then we’re all good.
Also…instead of one braid for sleeping, try two, coming from behind the ears, but over the shoulders. One braid down the back IS uncomfortable for sleeping. I don’t even do it, LOL. Two braids are much more comfortable
So it’s NOV 5th…I read your news of the day & then began reading backwards to see how I could have possibly missed a posting about a pregnancy test. I finally found the posts!!!
Now I want to know what happened w/the hair cut???
Speaking from experience (as in curly hair like Annie’s from her age til now–that would be 42), go for it & CUT her hair!! And inch or 2 will be healthier for her hair, it will curl MORE because some of the weight will be gone & you’ll both be happier because it will be less prone to those horrible tangles. Just make sure you tell whomever is cutting her hair that you’re serious about it bouncing back up when that weight is gone & when you say an inch (or 2 inches) you mean it, because 1 inch could end up looking like 3 has been cut off just because of the bounciness of the curl from the weight not being there. Seriously: there will be more–not less–curl! I promise!